Discussion Meeting - 02/20/00

Member: Paula M
Location: Sherwood, OR
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 4:32:51 PM

Comments

Paula alcoholic/addict..((saddened&concerned))check the coffee pot.

Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 4:37:57 PM

Comments

Larry, alcoholic

Someone - I forget her name - tried to start a new topic earlier today before the board was cleared. She chose "doing the next right thing". Sounds good to me...

"Doing the next right thing" pretty much sums up my approach to Step 3. That's how I turn my will over, by just trying to do the next right thing without projecting the outcome. It's so EASY...I don't have to make elaborate plans or worry about the results, I just try to do the next right thing and have faith that the outcome will take care of itself.

What's the "right thing"? For the simple, routine decisions in life, I just use my conscience as a guide. I figure I must have been issued one for a reason. The basic rules of right and wrong - don't lie, don't steal, don't hurt people, etc. - haven't changed much since kindergarten and are fairly universal, so I go with that. For the tougher, major life decisions (should I get married? divorced? have children? change jobs? etc.) I meditate and rely upon the "inspiration" that "gradually becomes a working part of the mind" (BB pg 87).

Of course, the "right thing" often seems like the hardest thing. Sometimes I don't want to admit I made a mistake or pay my full taxes or be inconvenienced to do someone a favor. However, through bitter experience I have learned that short term gain often results in long term suffering. Doing the next right thing isn't really a moral issue for me. I don't do the right thing to be "good", I do it because trial and error has taught me that it's in my best interest to do the right thing. For me it's not really a matter of morality, it's a matter of emlightened self-interest. The better able I am to do the right thing, the more peace of mind I have.

Thanks for letting me share.

Peace & Serenity

Member: Bill J. 12-19-75
Location: Kingsville Texas
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 5:07:00 PM

Comments

Hi If I'm a alcoholic the next right thing will always be to not drink and to work the steps.

I use prayer, meditation and advice for my sponsor or other members of the fellowship. I've been told that God works through people. If I have legal problems I use a lawyer . Foe medical problems I use a Doctor. Use resorses avaible.

I don't expect God to give me a miracle to solve a problem that I can solve with a phone call. If you do when you get up in the morning ask God to fix breakfast and wait for it. God does not do the driving for me but he does provide road maps. If you expect him to drive you will end up in the ditch.

Member: daniel o.
Location: Arlington TX
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 5:24:19 PM

Comments

When i first came into AA, i did not know what to expect. i was a little nervous, and i was afraid of the group yelling at me and telling me to leave because i was to young. but let me tell you that an alcoholic can be powerless from day on..... but not know for 13 years! yes i'm 14 years of age and my current living area is Arlington,Texas. yes i live with my parents and i do go to school. but i'm still one of many that is powerless over the stregth of alcohol. i started out as a weekend drinker when i was about 11 years old. but then weekends turned into weekdays. then weekdays turned into morning before school. Then before school turned into and almost all day thing. By then i was about 13 years old and i thought i knew EVERYTHING! But i was wrong like in the worst way anyone has seen it. i started to leave school early. Then i just stopped going to school all together. So by then my mother had found me in the police station in Richerdson Tx., in handcuffs screming into the face of a police officer that had picked me up for fighting. i was using words and profanity like, "shut the fuck up you stupid pig!" So not more than a short while after that insident, i was on my way to live withmy father in Arlington Tx. It started out real bad then, because i did not have one drop of alcohol in my system for about a week. So i was getting so angry with my self that i decided to commit suscide. After i was caught trying i was taken to a mental hospital for which i can not name. Then when i got out i started to go to AA meeting where i used to live with my mother. Both my brothers were going there at that same time. That is all i can tell you but i can tell you that i am good and sober with 1 year and 51 days to my belt and i'm still going.

thank you for letting me share,

daniel o. Arlington Tx.

Member: daniel o.
Location: Arlington TX
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 5:25:04 PM

Comments

thank you for letting me share,

daniel o. Arlington Tx.

Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 5:52:51 PM

Comments

I'm Chuck, an alcoholic. I think living according to God's way is the right way. Living my way almost killed me.

The way I see God's way is found in the book alcoholics anonymous. At step 3 He tells me to do the rest of the steps to get my mind staightened out. At step 11 He tells me how to be spiritual, think about him during the day so that I will not be selfish,dishonest,self=seeking or fearful.Then I must try to carry the message in the Big Book and treat everyone the way I want to be treated.

God says if you will do this then you will have a chance to be Happy, Joyous and Free.

Happiness is a result of doing the right things in life because it is the right thing to do.

Freedom is being rid of the negative thoughts and feelings that caused all my misery.

Peace and Serenity to all.

Member: keith g.
Location: savannah georgia
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 7:13:22 PM

Comments

hi evryone...my name is keith and i'm an alcoholic. that's a fact..everything else i say is just my opion. When it comes to doing the next right thing, i try to think about whether or not my grandmother would aprove...

but most of all i try to think about my higher power and what would he have me do.. and when all else fails i do what my sponser always tells me which is.."read page 449 and pray about it"

thank you

Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 7:43:08 PM

Comments

Thanks for the great topic. When I first stopped drinking I did not have a clue what to do with my time and life. During the first days, weeks, and months, I was in minute by minute contact with my Higher Power, asking for guidance and help. At first, I was so sick I just asked him to show me what "normal people" do. For example, I honestly did not know what to do when I came home from work. In the past, I'd start drinking by myself until I either went to bed or passed out on the couch. Now what was I to do? I asked God to show me or remind me what healthy, well people do in each situation. Every time, an answer would come. Something like, "It's time for some exercise," or "Play ball with your kids," or "Go talk to your wife," would just come into my mind, and that's what I would do. I don't know if it was God putting those answers into my head, but I choose to believe it was -- after all, I hadn't been asking anyone else.

After a few months, then years went by, I had new routines in my life that finally seemed "normal." I came to love predictability and stability. I came to be comfortable not living in crisis from one event to the next. I cherished the sameness and calmness of most days. I realized that for this alcoholic, "boring is good." My drinking friends fell by the wayside. I slowly discovered that most people don't even drink, or do so in an almost incidental manner, only when appropriate. God taught me dozens of these little lessons that healthy people already knew. The answers he showed me gave me a new life, one with room for my family, hard work, and clean living. Asking for this guidance about what to do became a daily routine that continues today. It was President's Day weekend, 1979, that I asked God to take over my life and help me stop drinking. By his Grace, I have not had a drink since. I had a great celebration with my home group last Friday evening. I am eternally grateful that God showed me how to do the next right thing. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred

Member: Marlene Smith
Location: Arizona
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 8:28:21 PM

Comments

I am glad to find this site. Doing the next right thing. Hmmmm, I had to learn very early in my sobriety that someone elses right thing is not necessarily my right thing. I got sober back in 1967 and had a sponsor who taught me to grow up and become a responsible non-drinking member of society. She was always very clear about what that statement really meant. And the best way she got through to me was by telling me what it did not mean coz I was real good at not trusting myself and making poor choices based upon what others told me. The next right thing is NOT what everyone on the outside tells you to do, feel, see, hear and say. It is what my heart tells me! I find that when I am listening to what my heart says it wants and needs and I follow it's lead, it is not hard. I liked much of what Larry M said but I don't believe that doing what is right for me is a hard thing. Perhaps it is hard because it sometimes is not what others want but if I remain true to myself that is all that matters. I spent most of my life hating myself. I always did and said things that other people wanted because I NEVER really cared enough about me and I always thought that external acceptance was going to fix me. I was always such a good obedient girl. Everyone liked me. There was only one problem though, I hated myself.

To make this story short, I finally worked the steps and learned to trust and love me. It is when I am in that self love mode that I am able to do the next right thing for me. And stop looking for acceptance on the outside.

Member: John F.
Location: Toronto, ON
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 8:36:22 PM

Comments

Hi I am an alcoholic my name is John. This is the first time for me at this meeting. I was always told in A.A. that I would be given what I need if not always what I want. This is certainly true right now! After the death this weekend of a family member. I found myself shocked, frustrated and mentally going around in circles. With so many things to do with and for my family. I neglected to do the things that I needed to do for myself that help me keep my balance. late this afternoon I started to accept the situation and take things one step at a time. So this topic, do the next right thing is a life saver, and keeps it very simple - What a freedom!

Member: Paula M
Location: Sherwood, OR
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 8:53:38 PM

Comments

Hi, Paula here, alcoholic/addict..Sorry about the first posting. Still getting used to this site.

I've read some good stuff on doing the next right thing. Since I'm early in sobriety I trust my sponsor to help me with that, as well as God as I understand him. Left on my own, I would screw up a free lunch. I pray every morning to to God's will and not to abandon my God, I get to a meeting daily sometimes 2, I thank God every night for another day clean & sober and I work the steps to the best of My ability. I'm just finishing up step one, but I try not to lie, cheat or steal on a daily basis. So far this is working for me and I intend to keep doing the deal a day at a time.

Thanks for letting me share, Paula

Member: Margie H.
Location: Vancouver, WA
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 9:11:50 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Margie and I'm an alcoholic. The next right thing for me is to realize that my sad, angry, and worried feelings won't last forever. I can also ask God to remove my fears, anger, and sadness if it is causing my mind to run around in circles. The next right thing is often to pick up the phone and ask for help if it is needed and to attend as many meetings as I possibly can. Reading literature is very helpful to me. I have gone from wanting to die 2 years ago to the point where I am actually enjoying living. With the fellowship of A.A., my sponsor, a new relationship with God, my literature, and the steps, I can live One Day At A Time. Margie H.

Member: Timothy C.
Location: Earth.
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 9:23:02 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Tim and I'm an alcoholic. This is the first time I have posted any thing on the web. The "next right thing" for me. God put me in detox, so I stayed until they said I could leave. God put A.A. meetings in detox, so I went. God put the big book in my hands,so I read it. God gave me 12 steps to live by, So I try to do as they say. God gave me a job, so I go to work every day. God puts opportunities in my path so I pray for the wisdom to recognize them when they come by. It has worked pretty well for 3 1/2 years, I think I'll stick with it. Thanks everyone for my new life!

Member: susan m.
Location:
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 10:34:44 PM

Comments

I'm Susan and I'm an alcoholic. The "next right thing" for me is always to pause and check in with God for His guidance. I spend isolated moments throughout my days praying (talking to God) and meditating (listening). I am most at peace when I meditate cause I trust that God knows what I should do a whole lot better than I do! Somehow if I follow the little voice on my shoulder (the same voice that tells me "Don't drink and Go to meetings!") I seem to make decisions that work out for everyone's best. I've only been sober eight months and its been a tough ride...lots of black holes...but the wonderful new friends I've found in A.A. keep me where I belong on my knees when things get tough. Somehow there's a clearer view of "the next right thing" when I'm looking up from down on my knees. Thanks for this chance to share..I really needed a meeting tonight. God Bless!!

Member: Catherine W
Location: Ramona, California
Date: 2/20/00
Time: 10:54:09 PM

Comments

Catherine grateful alcoholic~~~

First I want to say that I was guided by someone who taught me that there is no right or wrong, there are only lessons. When I made mistakes my sponsor would ask if I learned anything. What did I learn and would tell me I was right where I was suppose to be for me.

I was not well enough when I arrived to understand the truth about right and wrong. Not in the manner I understand it today. Doing the next indicated thing that complements my sobriety is what I was taught. It was not an easy concept for me to grasp at first. Over time I began to understand that it was exactly what you are talking about here. Whatever I was thinking about doing or saying had to be scrutinized by this one question, "How will this complement my sobriety?"

A am an alcohlic. I am a sensitive alcohlic. Which to me translates to the fact that I am acutely aware of what is acceptable behavior for me. I cannot afford to feel guilty or ashamed, resentful or angry for very long, nor can I afford to live in deciet of myself or anyone else. All of those things will eventually get me drunk or suicidal. Perhaps the phrase, "The grouch and the brainstorm are the luxury of normal man", suits me best.

So for me to do the "right" thing today is to first choose that which will keep me on the path of sobriety. Best done by praying for "Knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry that out." Over the years of working the steps I have learned that I may have times when I am not sure what God's will is for me, but I always know what it is not. It is not to drink no matter what! The rest will be revealed if I am patient and listen.

God will always do for me what I cannot do for myself. I need only be willing to be quiet and pay attention.

Thank you for letting me share.

Member: Rager A
Location: NM
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 12:07:26 AM

Comments

Greetings fellow recovery nut's, Roger, alcoholic... Doing the next right thing is sometimes pretty easy, and I have no problem with that...going to bed early tonight, sober of course, and getting up early to make it to work, doing a productive job for my employer, these are straight and easy. Other times it's hard to decide. Then I pray. I don't know if I still make all right decisions, but the wrong ones can be lessons rather than damning sin if I let them. Right now i have a six pack of cold beer in the fridge, left by some friends that still drink. I'm not going to drink it, because the compulsion has truly been relieved by the grace of God, but I'm not going to let it set there either, IF my friends don't come and get it by tomorrow it's going down the drain, I can't let myself have a rattlesnake so close, I could come home tomorrow in a foul mood and without the time it takes and planning it would require to run out to the store and buy beer, I just might say f%$k it and grab one, so while I'm still spiritually fit enough I'll put as much distance between myself and the next drin as I can. The book tells us that we shouldn't avoid placed where alcohol is served or social events where others drink just because we are sober ourselves, after all we are trying to get back into life. Just the same, next time I'll be sure my friends take their beer with them. I'm not sure if I'm expressing myself properly or not. I know by miracle the compulsion to drink is gone, yet I must be on my guard, my sobriety is worth too much to put myself in a vulnerable situation....so that if I get into a HALT situation i have time to pause, phone, or think it through before I slip. Anyway, the next right thing to do now is shut up and go to bed, take care, love to all.

Member: Dean S
Location: Phoenix, Az
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 1:31:32 AM

Comments

My name is Dean and I'm an alcoholic.

What is the next right thing to do? As I was contemplating this question, my screen saver was scrolling across the screen -- "No matter the question - Love is the answer."

Also,as Catherine's last two paragraphs has already stated, the 11th step is a great place to go for strength and wisdom.

Thanks for your love. Thanks for my life. Dean

Member: Jennie M
Location: Qld Australia
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 1:51:36 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, Jennie Alcoholic. Have enjoyed reading all the postings. They have really helped me re a problem I have at the moment. On 23rd is my first AA birthday and I am feeling very vulnerable for some reason. So I will be asking God for some guidance and direction. Thanks for listening (Hope I made sense!)

Member: Jack B
Location: CUMBOLA PA
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 3:01:30 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic.Doing the right thing for me is simply trying to practice/live the principles of this program in all my affairs.Thru the 12 steps of this fabulous way of life,I am now able to live my way into sober thinking as opposed to trying to think my way into sober living. God Bless all.

Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 4:47:12 AM

Comments

My name is JC and I�m an alcoholic.

Doing the next right thing, for me, is trying to live today and be glad of it. When I go to sleep at night. to be grateful for another sober and good day, and for having tried to live my program the best I could, just for today.

Thanks for letting me share. jc.toller@euronet.be - ICQ 36308407.

Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 4:49:24 AM

Comments

Geri, a very grateful alcoholic here. Thanks for the topic. I too believe that love is the answer to all questions. Do the most loving thing possible in all situations. That eliminates the seven deadly sins and keeps me out of trouble. So I ask myself, what would the big J do? I think I was sent someone to show me the way to respond to life's situations and if I do that, I'll be ok.

The key for me is to stay in the here and now. Not project into five minutes or five days from now. Not to worry about how I'm going to deal with all the problems - just THIS ONE. Quiet reflection time helps, but not always available. Learning to trust myself took time and lots of steps but can do it most of the time now.

Member: Bob H.
Location: South Bend ,In.
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 6:44:28 AM

Comments

HI I"M BOB alcoholic!Doing the right thing for me today is doing what i was told when I got here work on my recovery and everything else will fall into place ?Trust God clean house and help others meetings meetings and more meetings listen to hear what I need to here and practice these princaples in all matters ,areas of my life.listen and learn not talk to teach. ttThank you for the topic and letting me share.thank you God and AA.

Member: Joe M.
Location: W.P.B. Florida
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 7:11:03 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is joe and I have Alcoholism.

This is a good topic for me. Since the day I stopped drinking "just do the next right thing" has carried me. It has meant going to the hospital, going to meetings, calling someone. It has also meant the small things which sometimes aren't so small; like making my bed, cooking a meal or taking a shower. Basing my day on "do the next right thing" keeps my life simple for now. Thats the way I need it. Thanks for letting me share and God bless!

Joe M

Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 8:31:19 AM

Comments

Hi Carol alcoholic. The next right thing can be hard to determine sometimes. When I don't know what the next right thing is, my best bet is to do nothing. Pray. Talk to another alcoholic or sponcer. If I'm really confused, I go see my counselor. Sometimes she just points out I had the answers all along but was fighting the next right thing. When I make my choices according to what feels right the outcome is always better than what I could have imagined. I really enjoy this site. Thank you for letting me share.

Member: Libby
Location: Chester Co. Pa.
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 8:42:36 AM

Comments

Good Morning. Libby alcoholic. For me-not knowing what the right thing is brings about my biggest struggle.That is why, God,with His supreme wisdom, sent me you. I like one liners and when Nike came out with "Just do it" I put that into action after I was shown/told what is the right thing! Thank God others have waked where I am about to. I pray we all remain willing.

Member: Mary K
Location: Boston
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 10:02:10 AM

Comments

Hi everyone! Mary, alcoholic -

I must admit I was a bit confused about the topic. "The next right thing" was a major, major problem when I was first sober. I needed guidance and direction in everything from paying bills (instead of throwing them in the trash) to staying sober (sometimes a moment at a time) and everything in between.

With time, not ours but Gods, the PROMISES DO COME TRUE !!!

As my moments turned into days that turned into weeks, that turned into months, then years - I find true the part of the promises that says "We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us."

I still seek guidance and direction, through the 11th step and my sponsors, when I am in doubt about the "next right thing".

The promises do come true.....

From seeking and accepting ALOT ALOT ALOT of guidance and direction in the beginning of my sobriety, maintaining my spiritual well-being through God and the steps, and most of all maintaining abstinence, I am now able to intuitively know how to take the "next right step" in alot of situations - many more than I ever thought possible. And I do not hesitate to seek direction when in doubt.

God bless all - Love, Mary

Member: Lynn S
Location: O
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 10:54:04 AM

Comments

I'm Lynn and alcoholic. The next right thing in the morning is a cup of coffee to start out the day and then remember that I've turned my life over and need to say the prayer I've learned on p.63 and then turn the day over and have faith. Distractions come, disruptions are sometimes painful, but keeping my focus on the fact that I've turned my life over and I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other-even if it's the wrong foot-helps my faith. I love two slogans in this program, "first things first" and "keep it simple". Those help me to do the next right thing and persevere. Thanks for being here.

Member: Flora K
Location: USA
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 2:29:05 PM

Comments

Hello, Flora K. alcoholic. I just returned from a f2f meeting of my home group. I left the meeting feeling happy, joyous and free just as I was told I would if I followed the steps. There is a lot of sadness in my life at times today due to family illnesses that may not be treatable. But I know that if I keep it simple and do the next right thing I have what I need to cope. Early in sobriety doing the next right thing often meant taking the next step when walking or even the next breath consciously. I was in a hopeless, helpless condition until I came into this wonderful program. The program seemed to be designed with an understanding of my confusion and despair and no other help I had ever sought met me where I was. I was amazed to see how closely the program met this alcoholics pain and weaknesses. I guess Bill and Bob really were drunks who found an answer. A joyful 24 to all.

Member: carol c.
Location: wv
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 3:39:36 PM

Comments

thank you for letting me visit your site taking HS class on Substance abuse and one of our requirements was to visit your site. It has been very insightful.c c

Member: Nicky O
Location: NY
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 3:59:01 PM

Comments

To Daniel O. Be thankful for your ability to deal with this at such an early age. I am 20 years later with tons of regrets! I too was an early drinker. An a student in 10th grade a high school drop out by my senior year. I never went to graduation with my friends or college or any of those things we are taught to dream about! I recently admitted to myself and outloud that my drinking and drugging were the reasons I dropped out of school. I used to say I fought authority and I always won. Ha Ha,so foolish was I!Anyway, you sound like an extraordinary person! Stay sober! You have inspired me today! Thank You!The Topic: The next right thing I did today was coming here!

Member: Von
Location: OH
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 4:57:55 PM

Comments

Great topic, doing the next right thing. It took me a short time to learn it and a long time to put it into practice. Doing the next right thing to me means first and foremost, remembering that I am an alcoholic and only my Higher Power (who I choose to call God), knows in His eternal wisdom what's in store for me. So taking it just one day at a time first of all is good enough. I don't always know what God's will for me is, but I know what it isn't, so if I run things by the 4 absolutes when I'm not sure, I usually do better. Part of my disease, as the Big Book tells me is "mental obsession of the mind", and "self will run riot", so when I'm whirling, then it's time to step back, say the Serenity Prayer or the 3rd Step Prayer, and remind myself to get out of the way. Someone earlier said that Love is the next right thing. Yes indeed, I totally agree. I know that if I am truly working on being a person of Love, then I also become more Honest, Unselfish, and Pure. A favorite AA slogan that comes to mind is the saying, "if I can help you I will, if I can hurt you, I won't. Yes indeed, "The greatest of these is Love".

Member: Malou
Location: Canada
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 8:45:49 PM

Comments

I find it difficult to know what the next right thing to do is. People always seem angry or disappointed with me. I am often bewildered and wondering what I did that was so wrong again. Nothing about me seems to make anyone happy. I try to behave honourably and if I have erred, I hope it was on the side of compassion. Mostly I just want to hide, not interact with anyone - atleast until I have a chance to recover and relearn how to react in a normal world, with normal people, saying ordinary things about non-confrontational subjects. I find myself closing the door behind me, pretending I am not there. The hardest thing about staying sober is that things don't seem to be getting better. So the next right thing may simply be to wait....

Member: Donna G
Location:
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 9:19:35 PM

Comments

HI. Donna alcoholic. Doing the next right thing. It's been eight years of sobriety now and I'm finally seeing all the blessings I've received by striving to do the next right thing. I owe my whole life to AA for showing me the way to having a, for the most part, a beautiful, peaceful and spiritual life. Doing the next right thing for me is doing exactly what's in front of me, not thinking of yesterday or tomorrow. For the longest time all my decisions were based on self and that is what I was left with in the end. Myself. AA has given me a conscience and if I pray, reach out and give of myself expecting nothing in return, go to meetings, speak with my therapist and sponsor, do service work, HALT, I usually stay pretty balanced and doing the next right thing stays pretty clear. I make some poor decisions along the way, but it's not intentional and the steps bring me back to peace and God. Forever grateful to AA

Member: James C
Location: Bellevue
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 10:05:57 PM

Comments

All:

If the 'higher power' quest was sincere here (deferred prosecution purgatory), why doesn't church count as a "meeting"?

Twice as many people die annually in the US from medical mistakes than on the roads, yet a doctor/coroner can have umpteen people drop dead and oftentimes nary an eyelash is batted.

Juxtopose the viral marketing the booze and smokes companies push: face it, we're all little worms on big hooks.

Flame Away. jc

Member: Sanders W. DOS. 9-6-75
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 10:47:36 PM

Comments

Hi All Ya'all I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Some very good stuff on here about the next right thing. In the early days of my sobriety, I really struggled with this but as time has gone by, I no longer HAVE to please God but today I do it because I love Him and want to please Him. I call the 9th step the intuitive step because this is where the promises are made to me and I do believe we will intuitivly know how to handle situations that used to baffel us. I don't know when the last time was that I was really stumped on what to do in a situation. Sometimes I pretend to be stumped, hoping that God will come around to my way of thinking. Usually if I have to stop and really think about a situation, it is because I want my will and not God's. One of the mosrt important things I have learned since I ahve been here is that for me to do somthing that I know to be contrary to God's will for me, is absolutely the worst possible thing I can do for me. It is so important for me to stay in God's will today and this is why the 11 step is my favoritew of all of them. God loves you and so do I and there is nothing you can do about it. Sanders & Little Fella sanders@wfeca.net ICQ# 14412521 Firetalk # 185311 ( High Pockets)

Member: Dorris
Location: GA
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 10:48:05 PM

Comments

Hello been here lots but never posted till now. Malou, please go back and read what Marlene Smith wrote about not living your life to please others. The next right thing is what feels good for you and what is in your heart. My entire life was spent people pleasing and drinking over the fact that I was just never quite enough for any of them. If I had spent more time being true to myself and paying attention to my own needs, I might have gotten sober much sooner. Sobriety has made me see that those people didn't give a rats ass about me. For if they did, they would have been more concerned about my well being and less concerned about what they were going to get out of it or how they looked. My X husband is a perfect example of someone who was NEVER EVER happy with anything I did or said. He made sure that I got a daily dose of his "guilt trips" which in turn led to my drunks. I finally got some self respect and told him he was NOT right for me. So the next right thing I did was get the hell away from his destructiveness. The long and short of it all Malou is that the next right thing needs to be what is right for YOU not everyone else. Tell those people who think you can't do anything right to take a flying leap and get on with your life. You deserve a happy sober existence. Oh, and by the way, you will NEVER EVER be enough for people like that. You know why? Because what they seek is happiness outside of themselves not knowing that it is an inside job. Poor miserable souls! So you are and would be spinning your wheels anyway. Say goodbye to them and hello to YOU.

Finally, I would like to ask James C a question. What the hell is your point? I am missing something.

Member: jenifer d
Location: england swings
Date: 2/21/00
Time: 11:01:30 PM

Comments

The next right thing to do is to pass along what you have learned. Which is, Drinking is not right. Not drinking is right. .

Member: James C
Location: Bellevue
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 12:27:32 AM

Comments

Dorris:

There's a whole presumption implicit here that only thru the "higher power" acknowledgement does one do anything but mime thru AA.

It's odd to me that the social reenginneering precludes organized religion; or maybe it bothers me more that religion can't improve society.

The time required to do all the court ordered stuff is not commiserate with the crime - victims panel notwithstanding. Who hasn't been a victim at one time or another?

The ad comment goes without saying.

So this screed marks an AA event for me. #2. I've drank for many years but now don't since last June. It's harder to quit smoking if you ask me.

I probably sound irritated for selfish reasons. So my problems aren't that bad you ask, you're probably right.

If I'd have hurt anybody committing the infraction I'd be singing a whole different tune.

Happy Trails jc

Member: Marlea C
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 1:21:25 AM

Comments

Hello everyone. Doing the next right thing as a way of life is always simple, not always easy. Take the first word DOING. Not thinking about, planning, or examining, but the action verb. I had a friend say to me the other day that he had found a way to conquer procrastination - Just don't. Dang, if only it was that easy for me. Although when I tried it for a day I found it pretty effective. So we will see if I can continue on that path one day at a time. Doing the next RIGHT thing then becomes the issue. What is RIGHT? My only means of making that decision comes from listening to my higher power. Getting still, seeking internal guidance and following my "gut". There will always be those who disagree with my decisions, but I cannot live their lives. I can only live by my own true compass. Learning to trust my internal guidance system over any other persons is what has finally given me a sense of self and my own special life force. So if I just keep it in motion, trust myself and my direction, then I am trudging that road to happy destiny. Thanks for sharing the journey. Love to all, Marlea

Member: Larry D.
Location: Utah
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 10:07:13 AM

Comments

HI I am Larry an alcoholic; My next right thing? Well after messing around with my treatment for depression, not taking my meds as prescribed led to relapse after relapse after 23 years of sobriety with what now seems no hope for recovery...spending last wednesday strapped to a bed in a mental ward...threatining to take my own life beforehand...is there hope? Unable to stay sober for more than a week...destroying everything I have to be greatful for? I just don't know. I do have an appointment to see my doc to get back on meds beginning tommorow, but how do I stay sober long enough for those to kick in and clear up the dark cloud? I am so afraid...a couple of beers and the cloud goes away, but everytime I do that I wind up in the hospital lower than ever...what is the next best thing?

Member: Stanley B
Location: Delaware
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 12:25:02 PM

Comments

Hello all Stan here again this week. I am a few days late which is unusual for me. At least I am here. The next right thing. Well, let me relate my experience to part of what Dorris wrote.

I too lived my life to please others, Dorris. It was a miserable existence to say the least. Everything I did in my life was a result of what someone else wanted me to do or what someone suggested to me. I lived according to what my wife said, what my religion said, what my relatives said, what my in-laws said, and I could go on for years about what all these outside influences said was "Right." Somewhere along the line I came to a cross road. I had a choice to continue living for other people (and continue drinking to relieve the pain) or I could make the change in my life that would more than likely piss a lot of people off.

I prayed about this for years and the answer I always got back from my Higher Power (but chose to ignore) was "do what is in your heart and I will be with along the way." I finally made the choice to follow my heart this past Thanksgiving. Like you, Dorris, I experienced my now X-wife's guilt based threats but I held strong because I knew I could no longer live in the "wrong" choice. She used our son, our local pastor, our mutual friends, my sponsor, her relatives, my family and even more to try to "control" me into staying.

I will admit that my first reaction to this form of "guilt control" was that old "people pleasing" junk. I had myself convinced (in my head) that everyone else was right and my heart was wrong. I played that sick game of "no one will ever accept me if I do this and I will loose everything." Well, I am here to tell you that I finally did the next right thing for ME and stuck to my choice. It has been a bit difficult at times, but nothing like the terrible things I imagined. I still have the love and respect of my son and my X-wife is starting to see just how bad it really was for us to stay together. I have lost a few friends and relatives, but in the long run I am much better off without them in my life. My pastor is way too hung up on the aspect of self sacrifice which is a very destructive part our religion, so I have lost his support too and to be perfectly honest, I don't really care. BUT ONE THING IS TRUE, AND THAT IS I ABSOLUTELY DON'T NEED CONTROLLING PEOPLE LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE ANYMORE.

So the next right thing for me is to listen to what my inner soul tells me. I no longer sit around and piss away life by trying to be that people pleasing wimp I had turned into.

Also, just briefly to Larry D, there is hope! If you are taking meds for depression, you should NOT stop taking them. Do what your doctors tell you to do in that regard and then get to some meetings to work on your alcoholism. There is no easy way out Larry, so don't assume you will find one. Do the next right thing for you, and do the work! My prayers are with you.

Thanks to all.

Stanb2001@aol.com

Member: Jennie M
Location: Qld Australia
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 4:01:23 PM

Comments

Hi, everyone. Jennie Alcoholic here. 365 days for me today - on miracle on top of each other. One day at a time. Thanks to God and all of you.

God Bless

Member: Don H
Location: Franklin Park, NJ
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 5:42:03 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Don alcoholic. I do not believe that as a group we alcoholics are unable to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. We all have to some degree a conscience which if yours is anything like mine constantly reminds me when I am doing the 'wrong thing'. How many times before I arrived at AA did that inner voice tell me that a man does not do that or behave that way - yet I would repeat the 'wrong' behavior over and over again and in the process nearly destroy everthing and everyone I loved.

Since I am not stupid or a sociopath, the question is why I continually behaved this way and did the 'wrong thing'. I found out in my fourth step that the root cause of my problem and 'wrong' behavior was that I was restless, irritable and discontented - that's why I drank, it was either drink or die. I also discovered in the fourth step that I am arrogant and self-centered. Needless to say these character defects did not disappear when I stopped drinking. The steps of our program set forth a set of principles (roadmap for doing the 'right thing')by which I can live my life in such a way that no matter what happens I don't have to drink. The steps also guide me in developing a manner of living that insures that I do the 'right thing' most of the time.

Make no mistake, I am far from perfect and can still behave as an arrogant, self-centered son-of-a-bitch. Thankfully there is the tenth step, which allows me on a daily basis to see how I am doing and to check my spiritual health (read success in doing the 'right thing').

Member: Cyndi C.
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 6:12:20 PM

Comments

My name is Cyndi and I am an alcoholic.Wow, only in this day and age can I come on the computer and get a meeting!What a blessing...I have read so many good things here on this topic...see, I am stll working on turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him...step three.I try to pray every day, but I sometimes grab my will back at the last minute, forgetting that this is exactly what got me here in the first place! The next right thing isn't always what I want it to be, and that's a hard pill to swallow. in the Big Book, the chapter on How it Works, it says that selfishness is the root of our troubles. This is something I am trying SO HARD to understand, and to apply to my everyday life.See, I want what I want, when I want it.What a concept, right? but day by day I am realizing that the more I relinquish my own control, the better the situation at hand turns out! See...God knows what He's doing :) Thanks for letting me share.

Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 6:50:21 PM

Comments

Day 3 for me Jennie M. One day at a time.

Member: Perry A.
Location: SC
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 7:09:41 PM

Comments

Hi Perry here, an alcoholic. I was at a meeting last night and heard something I'd heard before, but it took on new meaning for me, and an increased understanding about my relationship with my program and HP. Someone at the meeting said, "the AMA said alcoholics have a genetic "disease.""

It suddenly struck me that I'd heard the words DIS-EASE. I looked up the word "ease" and found it meant, "free from something that pains, disquiets, or burdens, to make less painful." Wow! For this drunk, I know I suffer from a dis-ease in life, regardless of the dictionary definition of disease. What this program and HP have given me, when I work it, and listen to em' is an ease in living, and a ease in situations that used to baffle me.

When I do the steps and practice the principles in all of my affairs, I find it "easier to be" doing the next right thing.

Perry out!

Member: GREGG G
Location: KENNEWICK, WA
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 9:55:57 PM

Comments

GREGG HERE... HMMMM....DOING THE RIGHT NEXT STEP. THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG? IT IS WHAT SOCIETY HAS INSTILLED AND TOLD US WHAT IT IS. DOING THE RIGHT THING IS JUST RELATIVE TO THE INDIVIDUAL PERCEIVING IT. IF YOU WERE RAISED UP IN A CANABALISTIC SOCIETY SUCH THE OLD ISLAND OF BORNEO, WOULD YOU NOT THINK EATING OTHER PEOPLE WERE RIGHT? BUT SINCE WE ARE NOT WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FOLLOW THESE INSTILLED FEELINGS OF RIGHT OR WRONG, SO MAKE IT THE BEST!

PEACE OUT...

Member: Jeff C. <jeff24aat@earthlink.net>
Location: Sacramento, Ca
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 10:48:03 PM

Comments

Hi Good Sober Folk,

"Do the next right thing."

I told my sponsor once (concerning some HUGE problem that I don't remember anymore) that I was going to do "what's best".

He responded, "How would YOU know what's 'best'? Just do what's 'right' and leave the anticipated results up to God. Only HE knows what's 'best' in the BIG picture."

Now, I've thought about that exchange a great deal in the years since and I've come to the conclusion that unless I want to plead ignorance (and with MY ego, that's not likely) I almost always know what the "right" thing to do is. What I have also noticed is that the question rarely even comes up unless I have some fear based doubt that doing the "right" thing gets me the results that I REALLY want!

Unlike some of the more (presumably) "God conscious" folks that I hear at some meetings, God doesn't yell in my ear all day giving me my minute instructions, moment by moment. So, in those times that I am occasionally (and quite totally) blinded with worry and fear that I may not get what I THINK I need (or "what's best" from MY limited point of view), I have learned to stop and ask:

"If God WERE to yell in my ear right now and tell you what decision to make, what would God say?"

Hmmmm.......

Rarely have I seen it fail.

In Fellowship,

Jeff C.

Member: kevin
Location: redneck
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 10:59:15 PM

Comments

to malou, five years sober,going on six, and i wish i could tell you life has been perfect, but i would be lying, in my third year aug, 23 1997 i am driving down a small road, while at work, beautiful day, a guy runs a stop sign, hits the guy headed my way and we hit head on, he died about three mins. later, three weeks later my mother called to say hi and by the way i have bone cancer, year later one of my elders, also a coworker share some of my fith step with the supervisor at work and they have been trying to fire me ever since, not to mention all the shitting name calling and abuse i have had to put up with from co-workers, so ani't life just grand, jsut don't drink no matter, no matter , no matter what happens, peace and love

Member: ......
Location:
Date: 2/22/00
Time: 11:31:12 PM

Comments

All of you people here are bunch sick little whimps who use drinking and being alcoholic as an excuse not be responsible human beings. You all run around telling everyone how you don't have choices, things are not up to you, you turn everything over to this AA god of yours and so forth.

Don H you seem to be leading the pack here with your stupid remark about right and wrong behavior. Right and wrong are relative terms and differ in meaning for each individual. You sound like one of those cultish priests telling everyone that god is up there putting little black marks next to your name every time you do something. Oh I guess I forgot this is a cult and you all are bunch of sick weenies who have NO self respect.

Here is something for all of you drunks out there! The rest of the world don't respect you either. I mean why should they when you think so poorly of yourselves. There ain't nothing appealing about anyone who drinks to escape and then joins a cult to make excuses as a way to avoid LIFE!!!!! You people are a huge JOKE!

Member: Doug M.
Location: Mass.
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 12:39:28 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Doug, an alcoholic. I won't dignify any comments to the above letter, other than to say that we have to be tolerant and compassionate to everyone, since everyone is sick in their own way. Doing the "next right thing" , for me, means trying to do what I feel is God's will for me at this moment. If the answer is not there for me to see, I trust my intuition, inner voice, conscience, whatever you want to call it. If I still don't feel that I have the answer, I try my best, and go with my best guess. Sometimes I'm wrong, but if I can turn my error into a learning experience, and benefit from my mistake, then I have done the next right thing, after all, because I have grown a little because of it. If I'm right, then my trust and self-respect grows, and that, too, is the next right thing. So, as long as I feel I'm doing God's will, and not mine, then I can't help but benefit from any experience. That's saying a lot for someone who used to pride himself on being negative about everything and everyone. Sure, I still make mistakes, but I learn from them now, and don't kick my a** for them. Also, in a pinch, I remember what I WAS before, and what I AM now. That usually does the trick, if nothing else does. Thanks for letting me share, and for being here for me.

Member: MIKE H.
Location: CA.
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 12:53:57 AM

Comments

HELLO, MY NAME IS MICHAEL AND IM AN ALCHOLIC. THIS IS MY FIRST TRY ON THIS SITE ,AND NUMEROUS ATTEMPT AT SOBRIETY. IM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE AND IVE FORGOT THE TOPIC. IM HAPPY TO FIND A SITE SO I CAN TALK ABOUT WHAT IM GOING THRU. I DID NOT DRINK TODAY, BUT I FELT MISERABLE INSIDE. I THINK I NEED A SPONSER, I HAVE SIXTY DAYS PLUS SO I BETTER GET ON THE BALL AND WORK THE STEPS.

Member: BETHANY S.
Location: OWENSBORO, KY
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 2:04:10 AM

Comments

MY BIGGEST DILEMMA WHEN TRYING TO DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING IS, DO I DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING FOR MYSELF OR OTHER PEOPLE. IT SEEMS LIKE I GET A LOT OF CONFLICTING MESSAGES.FOR EXAMPLE, A LOT OF PEOPLE AT THE MEETINGS I GO TO HIT ME UP OFTEN FOR RIDES, MONEY, TIME. MANY OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE SITUATIONS TOUGHER THAN MINE, AT LEAST ON THE SURFACE. I WANT TO HELP OUT ANYONE I CAN BUT, SOMETIMES I CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. ALSO, ACCORDING TO MY SPONSOR, ONE OF THE THINGS I NEED TO WORK ON IS DRAWING BOUNDARIES AND TAKING CARE OF MY OWN NEEDS INSTEAD OF SPENDING SO MUCH TIME FIXING OTHER PEOPLES' PROBLEMS. I AM STILL VERY CODEPENDENT BY NATURE. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "HELPING ANOTHER SUFFERING ALCOHOLIC" AND "DOING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE THAT THEY NEED TO DO FOR THEMSELVES. AND THEN A LOT OF TIMES IT'S JUST BECAUSE I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY "NO" AND MAKE IT STICK. I HATE BEING THIS WAY BUT DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER. HOW MUCH DOES GOD EXPECT FROM ME IN TERMS OF SERVICE TO OTHERS VS. RESPONSIBILITY TO MYSELF? DO I HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD REASON TO TELL SOMEONE "NO", OR IS "I DON'T WANT TO" GOOD ENOUGH? WHEN SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK IS IT SELFISH IF ME TO SAY "I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME RIGHT NOW TO LISTEN AND BE HELPFUL TO YOU. YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEONE BETTER ABLE TO FOCUS ON YOUR NEEDS"? I'M JUST WONDERING BECAUSE I TRULY DON'T KNOW. SOME AREAS OF MY LIFE SEEM TO HAVE BECOME MORE COMPLICATED IN RECOVERY. I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND PESSIMISTIC BUT, THIS IS HONESTLY HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. I LOVE THIS PROGRAM AND THANK GOD I WAS LED TO IT BUT, I'M SO AWARE THAT I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN AND NOT A CLUE HOW I'M GOING TO LEARN IT OR EVEN IF I'M CAPABLE. THIS IS WHERE MY FAITH FALTERS. THAT TERRIFIES ME. THANKS TO ALL FOR LETTING ME UNLOAD. PRAY FOR ME AS I WILL FOR ALL OF YOU. WHEN ONE OF US SUFFERS, WE ALL SUFFER. THAT MUCH I DO BELIEVE. BY THE WAY, I'M 3 YEARS IN THE PROGRAM WITH NOT QUITE 6 MONTHS SOBER, IF THAT TELLS YOU ANYTHING. PEACE TO ALL.

Member: David M
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 2:39:27 AM

Comments

Great Topic, I've been struggling with alcohol and trying to do the next right thing for a long time (long to me anyway). Right now reading all of these wonderful and inspiring posts is the right thing for me. Thank all who post and help out a newcomer trying to find his way.

Member: bob t
Location: toronto ont.
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 5:25:35 AM

Comments

great discussion. first time in here. great format i foumd things easier with my hp at my side.

Member: Joe S.
Location: Spokane, Wa.
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 10:56:56 AM

Comments

Hello All! This is my first experience with this online AA site. It is a little odd to me but still works if I choose to let it. Anyhow, the right choice for me is to attend AA meetings, work the steps, communicating with my sponser daily whether it is good or bad that we discuss (not every conversation has to be about the bad things that come about in life), and also talking to my AA network; which is a group of friends in AA that I hang around with and talk with regularly. These are all the right choices for this alcoholic because the old ways just didn't work at all anymore. I have choices to make each and everyday that will have an affect on my life so by doing what I need to do with all my AA assets the hope is there that I make the more positive choice, in which I usually do. But I do not forget that I am human and that I am not perfect and so I will make mistakes and sometimes not make the better choice, but that is o.k. as long as I can keep the not so good choices to a limit. For me to make the right choice is to live and experience life on lifes terms, not trying to change people, places , or things and as long as I remember that and that I don't have to be perfect and the world doesn't revolve around Joe then things usually turn out o.k.. Thanks for letting me share and hope today is the best day of your life. Take care and remember that if all fails talk to your higher power!

Member: Vicki S.
Location: Florida
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 11:30:31 AM

Comments

Greetings. I'm Vicki, an alcoholic and addict. For many years I thought the "right thing" was the same as "what I feel like doing." The most difficult lessons in early sobriety came when I continued to confuse the two. One of the promises is that we will know how to handle situations that used to baffle us. I have found this to be true, but not until I did a lot of work, and opened myself up to learning from others. I've been taught to ask God first in all matters, large or small. I also ask for direction from people whom I respect. My job is to do the next right thing whether I feel like it or not. If I follow this suggestion, I stay pretty happy no matter what the circumstances.

Today is my 4th year anniversary. I don't share much here, but have been checking in daily for about a year. I want to thank every one on this site for not only helping me stay sober, but also improving the quality of my life.

God bless.

Member: LA
Location: ND
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 12:12:55 PM

Comments

Hi I'm LA and I'm an alcoholic. Thank God I am an alcoholic and have a way out of my insanity. Yes mine, not anybody elses insanity. My program will work for me, not anybody else. I can't work my program and expect others to work it too. Today I live with somebody that doesn't have a program and the years of what I learned I have to put into place every minute of every day and not get caught up in negativity. Sometimes I choose to get caught up in it and then my life gets confusing and difficult. That's where taking the next step is so crucial to me. I have to know that God will change him and I can't. I have to know that God will speak to him and he will hear what he needs to hear. I have to know that my way is only based on what I know, not what he knows. Walking my walk today, doing what I need to do today to stay sober is the most important thing in my life. Without my sobriety I don't get to have the aweseome gifts that are in my life today. My sponser told me in the beginning, stay sober and the rest will happen. What can I do today to stay sober God? Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened, Ask and you shall receive. Faith for me means taking a step not neccesarily knowing where I'm going, but knowing that God is here with me. I don't know the outcome, don't have to know. Knowing that it will be better than anything that I can imagine because my God loves me and wants NOTHING but the best for me. God is good, I could never have imagined what He had in store for me. Today my life is full of so much and it all came from my higher power. I would have never went out and got what I have today. I found out that God gives us everything we need and when I get everything I need I find out that it was everything I wanted in the first place, but was afraid to ask feeling myself unworthy and having to change too much to fit into such an awesome life. He changes me from the inside out, through His grace. I pray today to allow Him to work in me and stop trying to control. God works, the steps work, the program works. Just keep coming back

Member: Travler
Location: CS
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 12:19:09 PM

Comments

...... Whoever

The coffee pot is a place for your personally unidentified remarks! On that page you'll find all sorts of people who will help you put your program, if you have one, into perspective.

Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 1:38:13 PM

Comments

Good Afternoon to everyone who has posted on Staying Cyber's Discussion Meeting this week and I mean everyone, because A.A. can take the good with the bad.

My name is Tom A. a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a Wonderful Higher Power and the teaching of this fellowship we call A.A.

Happy First Birthday to Jennie M. in Old Australia and Happy Fourth Birthday to Vicki S. in Florid

Doing the next right thing I just did it! There have been some real fine posts so far this week and it has been a pleasure reading them and I am sure that they will provide me with guidance for doing the next right thing as we travel with all of you on the road to happy destiny.

When I entered this program the word RIGHTEOUSNESS scared the "H" out of me, but hanging around I learned a definition for this word that has help me, the definition is "Thinking and Doing what is RIGHT!" For me this disease has a lot to do with our THINKING!

Hey, I try to remember what one of my early sponsors told me about A.A. It was created by God and God is Good!

Enjoy Your sobriety Today!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net

Member: ......
Location:
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 3:37:14 PM

Comments

Hey Travler I am fortunate enough not to be a loser alcoholic like you. I face my life issues, I don't drink them away like the rest of you losers. And unlike you people, I don't make excuses for my life mistakes either. That's called being a responsible member of the human race which is clearly something you people have no knowledge of. So take your program or whatever you call it and preach it to another whimp like yourself who won't deal with life responsibly.

Member: ......
Location:
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 3:40:48 PM

Comments

Member: disgusted
Location:
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 4:19:43 PM

Comments

This is to ..... Don't you have better things to do than be critical of people? If you are not a loser, than find some other source of entertainment. People here are trying to get on with life!

Member: just a thought
Location: here
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 5:49:53 PM

Comments

...sounds to me like someone could use al-anon...

Member: anonomous
Location:
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 6:00:57 PM

Comments

Who would not turn to step 3 in doing the next right thing? In a world of stipulations upon stipulations, rules upon rules, and not just rules of thumb, but all 5 fingers! Who can get anything done, who can comply when the very people who invent such are the very ones that prevent that self same complience? In a world that requires a thing and then prevents a man from complience and that with those same people that require the thing life becomes unlivable! Trying to follow the course of this world, then is to be off course according to God, for it is written, "be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you might find what is that perfect will of God." Now, unbeknownst to most people, it is these very stipulations God would deliver us from. I said deliver, that's different than granting, it is rather to be rid of a problem than to solve it. For the freed man neither wants or needs any of the things the world esteems, he makes sure of it through God's directives and is said to be therefore free. What ever they are selling, he's not buying. For the closer a man gets to being content with food and clothing, so much the more he is free.

Member: anonomous
Location:
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 6:02:51 PM

Comments

Who would not turn to step 3 in doing the next right thing? In a world of stipulations upon stipulations, rules upon rules, and not just rules of thumb, but all 5 fingers! Who can get anything done, who can comply, when the very people who invent such are the very ones that prevent that self same complience? In a world that requires a thing and then prevents a man from complience and that with those same people that require the thing life becomes unlivable! Trying to follow the course of this world, then is to be off course according to God, for it is written, "be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you might find what is that perfect will of God." Now, unbeknownst to most people, it is these very stipulations God would deliver us from. I said deliver, that's different than granting, it is rather to be rid of a problem than to solve it. For the freed man neither wants or needs any of the things the world esteems, he makes sure of it through God's directives and is said to be therefore free. What ever they are selling, he's not buying. For the closer a man gets to being content with food and clothing, so much the more he is free.

Member: Catherine W
Location: Ramona, CA
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 8:27:47 PM

Comments

To ......

No one walks into an AA meeting by mistake. Nor do they feel a need to post on an AA site by mistake.

Keep coming back, things will eventually get better.

So, welcome home. Look forward to hearing from you again.

Member: ???
Location:
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 8:37:38 PM

Comments

Anonymous-

HUH?

Member: Robert B.
Location: Boise Idaho
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 9:51:06 PM

Comments

Hello. My name is Robert and I an alcoholic.

Ah! MEMBER... Well aren't we the venomous little coward again. Sure you aren't a wimp. You hide behind a mask and shoot sanctimonious darts at people YOU think are vulnerable. You don't have enough courage to qualify as a wimp. Right now, doing the next right thing is jerking your covers. You want to be a bully, but you are afraid to stand eye to eye with other human beings. You poor pathetic sniveling worm.

As always, I remain,

Robert Bradshaw <bluriley@internetoutlet.net>

Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 10:06:05 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! And thanks everyone for sharing!

Because I have chronic health problems, I periodically get upset and frustrated, ending up saying things I don't necessarily want to say and then brooding over everything. While the next right thing may sometimes involves an apology, more often than not (lately at least) I have found myself in a situation shortly thereafter where I am around some children, which results in me letting go of any lingering self-pity or anger--at least for a bit, to smile and talk with the little ones.

My God has an interesting and often challenging way of making me do the next right thing!

Member: GREGG G
Location: KENNEWICK, WA
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 10:19:19 PM

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Member: Scott G.
Location: Orange Park, FL
Date: 2/23/00
Time: 10:39:02 PM

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I beleive doing the "right thing" is admitting when you do the wrong thing. Then you must apologize for the wrong that you've done. Even though sober for some time now, I still screw up sometimes. I can't let this ruin my spirituality or my friendship.

Member: Bethany S.
Location: Owensboro,KY
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 1:15:28 AM

Comments

To Member... You must be in a lot of pain carrying that much anger...How unfortunate for you that you do not have the disease of alcoholism to lead you into a twelve step program and bring you in contact with the help you need to get to the root of your misery and release it...Still, with the abundance of twelve step programs, I feel you could probably find one that you would qualify for...I now realize that my alcoholism is a blessing and my salvation...Had it not been for my alcoholism I would never have been found by Alcoholics Anonymous...without A.A. I would just be f***ed up with no way out...I will remember you in my prayers...I'm sure that pisses you off but, maybe one day you'll look back and be glad of it...I hate to see anyone in that much pain because I've felt like that and I remember how miserable it was...Somehow, I think you're posting is a cry for help...I'd like to ask other recovering alcoholics who read his/her comments to remember, "principles before personalities" and if you choose to address these comments to treat this person, "as you would a sick friend"...This person probably wants nothing more than for us to get angry and retaliate thereby, validating his prejudice...He/she has a right to his/her feelings no matter how negative...To be hurt or even affected by the opinions of another indicates a defect of character that needs to be addressed through the twelve steps...My Name is Bethany and I AM an alcoholic...Thanks for listening and God Bless to all

Member: Jennie M
Location: Qld Australia
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 3:04:01 AM

Comments

Hi. Jennie Alcohlic. Thanks for the postings and wishes for my 1st birthday. Keep up your miracles Barry from Ontario - I was told this program works if you want it, I didn't believe it but guess what? It does work. To our anonymous member - denial is the first thing you have to face - God Bless.

Member: HollyFern
Location: Wellfleet Ma.
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 6:09:53 AM

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Hi,I am HollyFern,an alcoholic.Thanks Larry for hearin me earlier this week.

Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 8:54:51 AM

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Just coming into this discussion group and realizing that you are not alone is the right thing to do.

Member: Sherrie H.
Location: NJ
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 11:15:05 AM

Comments

Need help finding meetings online. Stuck at work way too much. Really could use someone's help. Thank you all in advance!

Member: Ellen C.
Location: Sharon
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 1:00:34 PM

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Iam new at this-new to life. I am looking for dicussion about the power of God in our lives. I realize that this topic is not always the most popular for all but it is my only topic for He is my life. I do not want to discuss whether God is male or female because that does not matter to me. No, I would discuss the irrelevance of that. I want to talk about His power and the fact that any goodness in me is Him. Thanks, Ellen Marie

Member: chris h.
Location: florida
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 1:29:36 PM

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Hi guys--so good to be here--chris-alcoholic/addict/bulimic here. Doing the next right thing was so important in the early part of my sobriety...Without using I was lost as to how to act much less live. It helped me so much just to do the next right thing---and try to leave the rest to God. I was always so anxious about my future that Iclouldn't live in the present. Doing the next right thing helped me to get over the hump in those early days if sobriety that were so confusiong. Often when I had done the next right thing, the thing I had worried a bout in the future had taken care of itself... That was a great foundation for learning to live one day at a time---or better yet one moment at a time. After 6 yrs. of sobriety and incredable growth, I am continuing to learn that if we do what is infront of us that our Higher Power takes care of the rest. I still have anxiety about the future but I learning every day to "let go and let God". Thanks for the sight--love you guys!! Chris h.

Member: CindyD
Location: NYC
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 1:57:24 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! Cindy D, Alcoholic. I had the worst night last night. Anger had total control over me..over something I could not control. The thing I could not control was something that upsets a lot of women, alcoholic or not. I had to swallow my pride..accept the circumstances, and apologize for throwing a fit. My boyfriend went to a strip club and it hurt me. The right thing would have been turning it over. Well I chose to do it my way and I suffered. Today I have to pray to not have resentments. I cannot afford to says my sponsor. Thanks.. had to get it out, and I hope I didn't offend anyone.

Member: John B.
Location: Colorado
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 4:09:54 PM

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John Alcoholic For me doing the next right thing does not come natural. And besides I have this character defect call a mouth. So this is something that I have to work on, but AA has given me some tools. The pause before I say the very first thing that cross my little mind, and say the second or third thing, has saved me a like of pain for myself and others. Then I look at way my mind goes off, and ask my HP to help me through the fear that makes me want to be rude , grude and unattractive. Hope every one has a great 24.

Member: Mark
Location: France
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 5:05:28 PM

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Hi my name is Mark and I am an alcoholic. This is a brilliant "meeting" as I am in a foreign country miles from anywhere and feeling a bit vulnerable. I try to let my conscience guide me in the next best thing to do as my HP is in "my" conscience which I often feel isn't mine but which I kinda have on loan. Do to others as you would have done to you, I guess. Boy do I stray from that path. But doing the next best thing maybe is also putting one foot in front of the other and just trying anyway. My head often tells me I should make a "decision" about something when my heart tells me not to push it but to let things happen one day at a time and the matter will either resolve itself or the right thing to do will become clear to me. Making "decisions" (always the wrong ones) got me to AA thank HP and it is such a wonderful feeling to know that I don't have to make those kinds of decisions any more, and certainly not on my own when troubles arise. I am not alone now. I only discovered two things in my life. One that I could drink myself unconscious and the second 22 years later that I didn't have to. They say we are slow learners :) I am really relieved that "'Im Upstairs" is managing things these days.

Member: CINDY S.
Location: SONORA, CALIFORNIA
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 5:46:42 PM

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HI- I'M CINDY, AN ALCOHOLIC. I JUST GOT MY NEW COMPUTER AND AM SO HAPPY TO FIND A.A. MEETINGS THAT I CAN PARTICIPATE IN. I WANT TO CONTINUE TO DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING...STAY SOBER. IN MAY I WILL CELEBRATE 11 YEARS OF CONTINUOUS SOBRIETY. I AM SO PROUD, HAPPY AND GREATFUL.. MOST OF THE TIME. WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR HOW I FELT THAT LAST YEAR BEFORE I CAME TO A.A. THANK YOU GOD FOR SAVING MY LIFE. AND THANK YOU FOR MY SPONSOR AND THE WOMEN I GET TO SPONSOR. KEEP COMING BACK - IT WORKED FOR ME..CINDY

Member: Lindy W
Location: Harrow, England
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 5:53:58 PM

Comments

I'm Lindy, alcoholic.

Thanks all for your sharing, especially newcomers.

Doing the next right thing - my sponsor says nothing pays more than restraint of pen and tongue. That is in the 12 & 12 somewhere.

I guess this is where the slogan "Think, think, think" comes in. I'm around 6 years now and still struggle with handing over - but I try hard to keep an open mind. I used to be unteachable - don't want to be like that again.

Having car trouble at the moment. I've had to stick up for myself - knew it was the right thing - but I felt so bad about it. I'm learning the right thing does not always make me feel good straightaway.

Long term pluses - I did not dent my self respect, and I did not people please ! This program works.

All best wishes

Member: GREGG G
Location: KENNEWICK, WA
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 7:29:23 PM

Comments

KEEP COMING BACK IS THE RIGHT THING. SO...KEEP COMING BACK IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!

Member: dan o.
Location: ft lauderdale
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 8:24:53 PM

Comments

hi, i'm an alchoholic named dan. i'm also a drug abuser. Doing the next right thing is becoming increasingly harder lately. i have 23 months. in my 13th month i got a job that seemed a dream and was going to meetings regularly, leading a residents group weekly at the recovery house where i stayed my first 5 months and living in the midst of serenity. my professional life was blossoming with so much success and income and i was highly respected by all of my colleagues or so it seemed. i was set up and let go while being owed a very large sum of money and found myself unemployed without a car and was told my apartment was sold and being demolished and i had 1 week to move(no lease). then misfortune began and my former employer has not paid me, going back to october and most all the time i have lived the A.A. way and was just grateful for having my basic needs being met. so today i'm still riding a bike and no job or money and deteriorating health. i feel today that doing the next right thing is SO hard and just can't seem to get back to where i was program-wise a year ago. i'm totally frustrated for being screwed and having to pay a lawyer and for riding a bike and having no job prospects and no anything or .... anyway, what happens when life just seems to be getting worse-i mean i'm still sober but that doesn't take care of lifes problems no matter how much forgiveness and gratefulness i have. i'm just sick of everything, really and would just liketogo away somewhere. i don't call my sponsor and have no ambition to go to meetins anymore. i've had all of the usual suggestions made to me, read th Big Book some but just don't have it right now and i'm frightened. what happens when anything is just not enough?

Member: dan o.
Location: fob398@mindspring.com
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 8:27:37 PM

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Member: Pat C
Location: Idaho
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 8:40:30 PM

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Accomplishing any great task or achieving any goal is done by doing a lot of little things first, every day, one day at a time. My sponsor always told me before I could set the world on fire, I first had to learn to put the cap on the toothpaste and make my bed. For the longest time in AA I had no goals or ambition because I thought it was wrong. I had goals and objectives as a drunk and proceeded to screw them up every time. So in AA I adopted an attitude of "one day at a time, live for today, tomorrow will take care of itself," etc. etc. So I went to meetings a lot, hung out with other folks in AA, worked a menial job that barely covered my expenses and basically just avoided anything that required planning or risk. This worked OK early on as not drinking was the central issue of my life. But now life is different; I got married in 1983 at 4 years sober, and I have 3 kids, one of whom will be starting college in 3 years. They need clothes, braces, etc etc. So at some point I had to start planning for the future, looking at where I wanted to be and asking other folks how to get there. Since drinking is no longer an issue in my life (and hasn't been for over 20 years)I have to look at what ARE the issues and what steps do I take to deal with them. I see a few oldtimers at meetings with 20 years sobriety or more still having problems,mostly finacial, thinking they just have to accept that it's God's will because "If God wanted me to have a higher paying job, he'd issue me one." I figure God got me sober so I could provide for a family and be of maximum service to Him and to them. And that's what I base "doing the next right thing " on.

Of course, I could be full of baloney and it could all be different tomorrow!

Member: Saugar T
Location: abbotsford,B.C./ Canada
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 9:11:02 PM

Comments

hello this is my first time on the site. i am an ALCOHOLIC and my name is saugar.doing the right thing omthing i am struggling with constantly. i'm a student with just about two years of sobriety thanks to my higherpower.i seem to take three steps forward and twice as many back. i just spent time with my sponser who reminds me of my growth constantly.i do not see it as clearly until it is pointed out to me.i am just about to go through another step study in the next couple of weeks.it seems every time i get close to starting to do the steps over i find something that i really need to work on.it has shown me that i am powerless over people, places & things as well as alcohol and drugs!this is humbling for me.tonight i am off to my home group (matsqui village) it is a speaker meeting tonight and i was responsible for the speaker this month and i tell you i had a hell of a time for the last week finding a person but as COENCEDENCE would have it one was dropped right in to my lap 3 hours before my meeting. i must admit there seem to be alot of coencedences in my life and they seem to be more and more evident as the days go by.i wish everyone a great day and another 24hrs! saugar

Member: tina s.
Location: california
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 9:25:04 PM

Comments

Hi! i'm tina and i'm an alcoholic. i'm grateful to be sober by the Grace of God. just want to check in and introduce myself to this site that i just found today.

i heard in a speaker meeting in my early sobriety "do the footwork and leave the results up to God." that sounded simple enough for me. sometimes all i can do is make it to a meeting and pray to God. i'm grateful to have the tools of a.a. in a little toolbox, where i can take out a tool or two and use them each day.

i believe that there is no right thing nor is there a wrong thing. the big book gave us steps and other tools passed down from people to use. one of the best things that i can do for my sobriety is to grow along spiritual lines, like the book suggests.

thank you for letting me share.

Member: Richard M
Location: sarasota, fl
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 10:23:31 PM

Comments

Hello everyone .......my name is richard m........i am an alcoholic..... Not picking up a drink and drinking it is the right thing to do ..always.. the next right thing to do is "remember " we are alcoholics and need to go to a meeting ..some where ...can't find one ?...start one ! It is a program of tolerance and love that we are in !! we apply that to ourselves and then to each person we meet !!!.. P ractising the twelve traditions in all of our affairs , is also the right thing to do .......Being quitely humble seems to be in order as well !!!!!MAy god bess each of us as we trudge the happy road to our destiny!!!

Member: Jeannie L.
Location: Florida
Date: 2/24/00
Time: 10:38:08 PM

Comments

Hmmmm.... this venue seems like an interesting concept; something definitely worth a try. I've read quite a lot of good suggestions so far, and seen other peoples' gratitutde and persistence. So I'm going on the hope that checking in to this board on a daily basis just might be the next right thing for me. I got sober in 1990 and kept it til the end of 1996. Serious problems developed in my marriage during that time, problems that couldn't get resolved. So like a typical alcoholic (albeit recovering), when I could no longer deal with the situation(s), I drank. Haven't had more than 2 continuous months of sobriety since then. And all the stuff I heard in the rooms came true: if I thought things had been bad BEFORE I got sober, this 2nd time around is so incredibly worse. I believe I'm done now, and I know I want to BE sober. The problem is GETTING sober. I've lost all joy and motivation, nothing seems interesting anymore. I am not just whining and feeling sorry for myself -- the purpose of this post is to encourage the rest of you who are doing well in your sobriety to continue to cherish it and guard it fiercely. I know I'll get back to where I need to and want to be, though I'm not expecting it to be the merriest of journeys. Thanks to everyone who shared so far; you've helped me to remember how precious life can be. : ) Jeannie

Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 4:44:31 AM

Comments

hi my name is barry and i'm an alcoholic. Thanks to someone who took the time to realize that I had a problem (because I know I didn't realize it} and thanks to this discussion group, I'm starting to see that there is more to life than coming home from work every night and getting hammered. I know that i've only been sober since Sunday, February 19, but i'm already starting to see the benefits of sobriety. Apart altogether from the money I save (it can be an expensive habit), I can acutally sit down and write without shaking so badly that I can't read my own writing. I can have a cup of coffee without shaking so badly that half the coffee ends up on the floor. Sobriety is a different, better way of life. For me, doing the next right thing, is to keep on doing what I'm doing now. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Larry K
Location: Illinois
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 7:49:08 AM

Comments

This is in response to Dan O's 2/24/00 post.

Dan, When I was first sober my life was going to hell. I'd go to two meetings a week and complain that even though I was working the program, bad stuff just kept on "happening". Someone told me that I should go back out for a while to see if that made things better. Luckily, I didn't do that. What I did do was listen areound meetings to see if going back out did make it better for any of us.

In over 17 years of going to meetings, I haven't come across one case where going back out made life better for an alcoholic or addict. But I've come across a lot of cases where continued woprking the program produced miraculous changes--in fact, that's more the rule than the rxception. It all boils down to hope--if you go back out, you have none.

Member: Pat C
Location: Idaho
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 10:53:05 AM

Comments

to Larry K- You said pretty much all that needs to be said... Wish I could be that succinct!

Member: gerry L.
Location: richmond, va
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 11:11:27 AM

Comments

three days sober. Just wanted to say that my name is Gerry and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for being there for me.

Member: MaryJ.
Location: Seattle
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 1:18:58 PM

Comments

Hi,

I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Doing the next right thing is a great topic and kudo's to Larry M. for bringing the topic back after last week was erased.

I'm with alot of people that said doing the next right thing can be a matter of common sense. I know that when I was drinking, my common sense left me. When you are sober you wouldn't think about driving after you have been drinking. When you drink you think you are invincible and can do anything.

Staying sober is the next right thing to do and when you are sober it is amazing that the common sense comes back.

I think that the saying I will not drink this minute, this hour, this day, this week, etc. is doing the next right thing.

Member: Kristen B
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 2:29:06 PM

Comments

Hi! my name is Kristen and I'm an alcoholic. I don't believe in coincidences anymore. Things happen all the time that can't be happenstance. I'm visiting my parents(just one of the many rewards of sobriety)in Mass. Just about ten minutes ago I was standing out on the porch thinking of how my life has changed and how I have some sanity in my life today. I contribute this miraculous change to my getting in touch with my higher power. I'm working on step 2 with my sponsor and I heard in a meeting last week someone say that step 2 means to them just doing the right things for the right reasons. That made so much sense to me. All my god wants is for me to do the right things. Here I was on the porch thinking all these things and I came in got on the internet and whats the topic but doing the right thing. There are no coincidences. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Pauline M.
Location: MA
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 6:52:33 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! I'm Pauline, an alcoholic. The next right thing for me is to pick up the phone before I pick up a drink. I make it a point to get on my knees in the morning and ask my Higher Power for help and guidance in getting me through my day and to thank Him at night. I'm grateful to be sober today and will be off to a meeting in about a half hour. Thanks for my life. Have a wonderful evening everyone!

Member: jonnyc
Location: ut
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 10:35:41 PM

Comments

Member: Rod B.
Location: NE.
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 10:49:14 PM

Comments

For me the "do the right thing would be to get off this computer and get to a meeting. Bye. Thanks for letting me share. Rod

Member: skywriter
Location:
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 11:29:56 PM

Comments

my name is doug and i am a alcoholic that is very funny i always have to find a paper and see how to spell the word holic. going a different way for my meetings for a while and that is the internet i still attend them in person but life needs a balance and all metings and no play will not help me grow in this program. i have been sober 7 months and it was not an easy task nor will i be cure tomorow. the first 6 months were the hardest i had lost my self my house my marriage my credit myjob. and today i have a job a nice place to live and i can see my children every other weekend. that is the tough one but all i can say is that i am keeping sober for my self and with Gods will and power i will make it. Ellen C.there is a lot of people who love to talk about God in the program. if i did not have my higher power who i choose to call God i would still drunk to day and have never seen my children for a very long time. it is funny that if we ask for help in the morning and give thanks at night i can guarantee that i will not drink that day and so far it works. i have always been questioning about when god is going to give me a sign i have always been looking thinking that he is going to come down right now an talk to me but i have found out that he speaks to me every day through the peopl of this program. any way i have to split but i will try a couple times a week to say hi to all the people that keep my sobriety posbbile later

sky writer

Member: micheal m
Location: sydney Australia
Date: 2/25/00
Time: 11:48:54 PM

Comments

hello out their fellow members it was very nice surprise to read the great stuff on this meeting as you mite guess Iam new on the web so bear with me so you mite guess my topic how now we become members instantly over the web isn't great I look forward to getting to here from you my new web family Iam micheal from Australia take care and god bless

Member: Jennie M
Location: Qld Australia
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 5:52:20 AM

Comments

Hi Jennie Alcoholic here. Just wanted to welcome Gerry and Doug and all newcomers. One day at a time is a pure miracle. Have a great sober day/night what ever time it is were you are. God Bless.

Member: Arlene C
Location: Eastren Washington
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 7:12:32 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Arlene and I am an alcohlic. I do not know what is the next right thing, because I don't know what's good for me. I have so often thought that somehin was bad an have it turn out to be a great blessing such as admitting that I was an alcoholic. I thought that was the end of the world, and it was only the begining. What a wonderful life that admission has led me to. I woul not have thought it was the next right thing. I do know that not taking the first drink of the next drunk will keep me safe in the arms of my higher power. Reading some of the earlier posts really test my commitment to "Live and Let Live" I wish all of you and I do mean all of you all of God's blessing, but mostly inner peace. Keep coming back. It works!!!

Member: Chris M
Location: Mannheim
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 7:23:41 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Chris M and I am an alcoholic. This is the first meeting I have been to in several years. Being here is the right thing for me. I would like to welcome the newcomer who thinks he or she is an outsider. My favorite thing in the Big Book is when the 12 steppers greet that guy in the hospital bed with that grin. That grin that says I know you. That grin that says welcome, you are one of us! Blessed Be

Member: J.T.
Location: N.C.
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 10:40:56 AM

Comments

J.T. here, alcoholic. Just a little statistic from a reliable source, 95% of us don't make it...I've seen so many sober years, some long years, lose everything. I hope I don't go down that path. This is a serious dilemma with a simple solution. But to me, doing the next right thing is a conscious act of my own will. I can't speak for everyone else, but I have to suffer enough "sober" before I sometimes do the next right thing. This program offers me solutions and an end to loneliness and a chance to try and help others. I did not care one way or the other not too long ago, but today I am concerned about the state of my soul in the hereafter. It is a beautiful day today. One Day At A Time, WE trudge the road of happy destiny. Peace...

Member: Observer
Location: Cyberspace
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 11:18:26 AM

Comments

There are quite a few imposters here! I recognize who you are so you ain't foolin anyone. And if you have any brains, you will know who I am.

The next right thing for me and my sanity is to get away from this site and all the liars I have recently encountered in this program.

Member: JackG
Location: Columbus
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 12:28:48 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Jack and I'm a REAL alcholic. I know we are sober one-day-at-a-time. I'm only as sober as the time I woke this morning. I have a daily reprieve and I'm Grateful. I know all the "next right thing" talk has been a benefit to me today. My wife and I both grace the doors of AA often. Ten years often. But, now a huge surprise has almost floored me. I'm headed to a meeting with "skin" in 1/2 hour . And I'm gonna use the phone before I go. Yesterday, I quit my job. I know it was wrong. I was in H.A.L.T. Now, today, after a night of fifgting my wife wants to divorce me. I can't blame her this is not new to me or her. I guess the changing job "thing" is my drink. I've worked the steps, lead meetings, talk to members, been a GSR yada,yada,yada. But, I think that I have a problem other than alcohol. I've hit the "dark" ceiling. With the "black" being the problem other than acohol. In this case my next right step in to see a professional. And, get on my knees asking God for His Help.

Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Roy S
Location:
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 12:46:58 PM

Comments

Thank you for all of the good discussion. Doing the next right thing, while it should be simple, often has been very difficult for me. I try to go with my gut feeling on most decisions, but often I turn little things into much bigger monsters than they really are. I find that if I follow the KISS principle (Keep It Simple Stupid), the next right thing becomes a much easier decision. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Sober today
Location: USA
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 3:50:10 PM

Comments

Hey Roy, what works for me is Keep It Simple Sweetheart. Only speaking for myself, I have put myself down for way too long. Love to All of you fellow trudgers.

Member: Tim K.
Location: South Bend IN.
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 4:11:03 PM

Comments

Hi Im A Alcoholic;Named Tim K This is my first time on the web and the first time here.Ihave began working on recovery for the last 11years I Always wanted to do things the easer softer way it took me all these years To start to be Honest with myself I have finley come to reality it takes Meetings!Meetings!And more Meetings And Thank GOD For THAT.I Am A ALCOHOLIC Named Tim K.

Member: x-nuclearfission
Location: Florida
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 7:13:33 PM

Comments

Hi am 2 months new to the AA Program. Lost my DL some scrape. Anyway I'm glad there is an AA meeting online. Now I have no reason not to attend one atleast every day. I had tried to old will power way to stop but that didn't work so know I'm giving AA a try. Sorry about the name but I dont trust the internet that much yet. I will use the same name going forward so you know its me. Everyone give yourself a hand if you have not had a drink today(:->)

Member: Paul B
Location: Kirkland, WA
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 8:37:10 PM

Comments

Once I got sober and began rebuilding my life, the "next right thing" became a feeling in my gut just knowing what was right. It is my higher power working through me.

I'm glad to be sober, and glad to be on line. This meeting has saved me from myself and I review daily, the recent postings. Thank you all for helping me stay sober.

In love and service

Member: Elizabeth S.
Location: Southeast USA
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 10:09:23 PM

Comments

I'm in the process of prayer and meditation to find out what the "right thing" is for me. I am married to the same man who went through the last three years of active alcoholism and we are still together now. The first three years of my recovery, he did not drink at home (he is a normal drinker). In my third year, he took a second shift job which was different for me and him because he was always available. I asked him before he took that job "what about me and our marriage". He said we would be ok and we had a good discussion. Well now he won't take time to spend with me. We talk about 15 mintues a day and on weekends he is away doing what he likes to do-that is sing. Well it is getting to be too much for me. I am depressed, sad and lonely a lot. I even get hostile and angry with him. Right now I don't even what to look at him. He doesn't think calling home is "important". I have tried to tolerate this situation for over three years. I am tired of talking about it. Somewhere in me says get a divorce, another says if you do, you will be miserable-if you are going to be miserable, you might as well stay. At this point, I am weary and wondering if I have to stand up to what I said when I first got sober-if I find out that he is not supportive or good for me in recovery, then I'll leave. And yes, I do love him but do I love him enough to leave? I don't know what the next right thing is at this point. I do know what it is not-don't steal anything, don't kill him, don't reach out for another relationship, don't drink. So here I am. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: mary g.
Location: california
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 11:20:52 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm Mary and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for a great topic! I love this program!!! I went through two years of therapy with a clinical psych dealing with A.C.A. issues before coming into A.A. and I really am so grateful to my higher power that I was guided to do this . It was the right thing to do for me and I still go back and get a check-up every 50,000 miles or so. My depression prior to this experience was terribly painful and I was able to get the help I needed. The A.A. program has taught me how to live in this imperfect world with joy and gratitude and not have to take anything to make myself feel better, one day at a time. I can cope and learn and make progress thanks to all of your sharing and caring and the 12 Steps and Traditions. Have a good 24!

Member: Harriet R.
Location: Eastern Washington State
Date: 2/26/00
Time: 11:51:51 PM

Comments

Hello all, Harriet here, alcoholic.

Good topic. My major problem in the past two years was in understanding that the RIGHT thing to do in my situation was NOTHING at all. I had to surrender to the situation. I didn't do that - oh no. I did the "Do not go gentle into that good night,...Rage, rage against the dying of the light." I did that, I fought and I said over and over in my heart that God had done a bad thing, and I drank over it, more than once, breaking my 15 years of sobriety.

The right thing is to accept God's world as he makes it. Who lives and who dies.

Sometimes this is the hardest thing of all - to not do anything. But I'll never understand why unless I'm quiet and still and LISTEN to God.

So much for Dylan Thomas and drinking...

God bless.

Member: Jean D
Location: Englewood,Fl.
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 12:45:56 AM

Comments

Member: Doug M.
Location: west of Boston
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 7:21:12 AM

Comments

Hi! Doug ... An alchoholic and addict.

For a new topic this week, how about using perscribed drugs in recovery. I know over the years I've had to use Percosetts for injury and surgery, being in untolerable pain. When I took the first pill ( for medicinal purposes), I had mixed feelings about it, but once it took affect I secretively enjoyed it. But, I made sure I took what was perscribed and not "more" than that ... we know in AA about "MORE, MORE".

After the perscription was gone, again, I had mixed feelings, but was glad they were gone. I've been lucky that I haven't resorted to steet drugs or drinking from it and am enjoying what will be 12 yrs. in sobriety in May.

Thanks, Doug

Member: Susan H.
Location: South Carolina
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 9:03:12 AM

Comments

Hi Susan, alcoholic Sounds good to me. After 5 years of sobriety, which included meetings, the big book and working with a sponser, my sponser suggested I be evaluated for depression. At this time I had also quit cigs. for 6mos or so. I took followed up on her suggestion and was put on antidepressants. 5 to 7 years later I am no longer taking them and feel I am leveling out. Still enjoy sobriety and the growth that comes from it.

Member: Mark W
Location: Atlanta , GA
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 10:10:15 AM

Comments

Hello , My name is Mark and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this on-line meeting. What is the format ?