Member: Linda
Location: OH
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 5:35:35 PM
I would like some help dealing with frustration.
Member: Dave A
Location:
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 5:42:47 PM
Looks like I'm it. The police, paramedics then later the crime scene unit then the medical examiner all stopped at my neighbors house this morning. Guess what. Dead on the floor in his own vomit, blood and the last drink of rum that he appantly did not get to get in his stomach. When we got there tried a chest compression to see if there was any way air would stay in the lungs the rum came out. I knew he drank alot but I never knew how to approach him about it. I just thought being nice and saying hi would be enough. Well for him it wasnt but for me... what a reminder! After 2 1/2 years sober I got to see what happens. Wife crying (acutally moved out today, dosent want to be there). I dont know where I am going with this.. Maybe I should have 12 steped him or maybe he is just a reminder of where that first drink will take me. God bless everyone and make sure to kiss your loved ones today.
Member: roo
Location:
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 6:05:30 PM
live and let live should be topic like that
Member: JIMB
Location: FL
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 6:56:28 PM
Hi Linda, My name is Jim and I am an alcoholic.
I find that exercise, is the best way for me to deal with frustation. Most of the time I would hold it all in me, then drink and become self destructive. Now I exercise, even if I dont want to I say to myself "I'll go and exercise for 5 minutes, I can do that and if after the 5 minutes, I dont want to stay. I will go home." I always end up staying.
Even just a brisk walk, clears my thinking, and gets my energy going. I ask myself why I am frustrated, and come up with solutions that I can live with today.
Member: sandy c
Location: USVI
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 7:42:56 PM
I am frustrated with myself because after 6 years of sobriety I had a relapse, chose to go to a fantastic rehab and have been home for 5 days feeling very overwhelmed and sad. I want to feel back to me, I am praying and reading, just feel lost and frustrated.
Member: roo
Location:
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 7:49:24 PM
hi linda usually for me wen frustrated there something iam not dealing with or blinded to it,i ask spons, if he can see,i go to my hpower . its sounds easy but hard , meditation meetings help me , sometimes just asking for help , helps.. hope i helped .hi everybody
Member: Jeff
Location: Northern CA
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 8:15:31 PM
Hi my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Frustration - restless - yes. Sometimes irritable and discontent too. I can identify. I have learned not to act out of frustration like I used to. I knew that a drink would fix it and it did for a little while but what a high price to pay.
I like the thing about exercise that Jim said. If I get out on my bike or even just walk around it does help. Taking simple actions like doing my laundry or cleaning sometimes help too. Meetings, p&m, and talking to another alky definately help also. Sometimes I just have to wait until my frustration passes. If I can remember to do it; a quick 10th step is good. Why am I frustrated? What is the cause? This affects what part of myself? What are the root causes and conditions? ......What can I do or change?
Thank you all for sharing and being here.
Member: Phil
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 9:14:44 PM
Dave, I know kinda how you feel. I run into chronic alkies all the time on the squad "disguised" as stomach pain, nausea, etc. A couple weeks ago we hauled a wet brain. It was a backup and I was in the back of unit alone with him. After the assessment I was thinking "should I or shouldn't I say anything." I decided to just causually approach the subject of getting help, knowing that he wouldn't remember any of it in the morning anyhow. He really opened up about his problem and actually began crying. I suggested he let the doc's know he wanted to get help and gave him the locations of some meetings in our area (he was familiar with all of them!) Long story short: next week he was pissing on the sidewalk outside the post office at 0800. Don't beat yourself up about your neighbor. He just didn't want it as bad as you do. ODAAT Phil
Member: Sunday sober
Location:
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 9:28:49 PM
Alcoholics don't own the market on frustration and restlessness. It is pretty drn human and part of the bargain we got when we were born. But add a drink and no doubt your frustration may increase. Especially if you realize that drinking isn't going to solve your emotional, spiritual of mental condition. Get creative. There are a million ways to ride out the storm. Just don't bother drinking or medicating cause it is more harmful than good.
Member: John G.
Location: Walla Walla, WA
Date: 2/11/01
Time: 10:46:37 PM
Hello, I'm John an alcoholic I've been sober since December 10 and I enjoy sobriety very much. I've been battling the disease of alcoholism since I was about fifteen years old and I am twenty now. I've been to inpatient three times. Every time I got out of treatment I could never stay clean for very long at all because I never hit my bottom and never worked the steps. This time I'll try harder and try to work my steps. I don't like myself or the way my life was going while I was using. It won't be easy but I'll try my best. Thanks for listening. Keep coming back it works if you work it.
Member: RM
Location: ALASKA
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 8:11:14 AM
HI EVRYONE,BEEN SOBER 5 DAYS IS ALL,RECOVERING FROM SURGERY,HAVE BEEN FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF FOR DRIVING AROUND DRUNK,NOT REMEMBERING MOST OF IT.NEGLECTING MY FAMILY,LIVING PRETTY MUCH IN A DRUNKIN STUPOR.
Member: Duane M.
Location: Central,N.Y.
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:44:41 AM
Hello family,my name is Duane and I am a real alcoholic.I can get frustrated very easy.Especially when I am trying to do too many things at once.I have to slow down and remember first things first.If its about something that is going on in my life I have to remember that this too shall pass.It is usually when the old fears step in and I start feeling overwhelmed with things.Nothing seems to go right and then anger starts to rise up.I have to stop what Im doing and walk away for awhile.Have a cup of java and make myself relax for a bit(when I can get my mind to slow down).Thanks
Member: RJC
Location: WOBURN,MA
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:58:34 AM
TO ME FRUSTRATION IS A PART OF "NORMAL LIVING". FRUSTRATION IS ALSO A TRIGGER FOR GULPING DOWN SOME BOOZE TO SELF-MEDICATE.I NEED TO KEEP A LID ON IT THROUGH EARLY INTERVENTION. SELF-PITY USUALLY FOLLOWS FRUSTRATION,AND THEN I AM ON THE PITY POT AND THE RAGE FOLLOWS!!! MY HEAD IS A PRESSURE COOKER AND MY MOUTH IS A PRESSURE VALVE. GO TO AA OR,AMEN!!
Member: Bill M.
Location: Southeast Georgia
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 12:19:39 PM
I wondered what the book meant when it said we cease to fight anyone or anything. Like resentments, frustations seem to come directly from our expectations, of ourselves and other people. If I have issues I talk with my sponsor, if I have problems with the steps, I talk with AA people who have some time in the program. Only those that didn't go from self centered to self rightous. Recovery is caused by "we". If "I" could do it I would have. I had to learn to think about someone other than me. Didn't like it as it seemed such a waste of time but my sponsor thought it necessary. I like to read those sharing here, but I am selective, if they don't have a name or know where they live and if they are not alcoholic, I pass.
Member: LeeEllen
Location: MI
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 12:21:43 PM
Hi all - LeeEllen here and a recovering alcoholic.
Frustration----you bet. I guess it just goes along with living. However, today I'm better equipped or prepared for it---that's not to say I don't slip into the huge crater at times.
I try to remember that "it's not what happens to me that matters---it's how I react to it." Being extremely headstrong & stubborn, I resent letting things get to me----I don't like to give "things" the power to take my serenity from me. I'm not always successful, but it helps to remember that in a week/month/year the things that are eating at me just may not mean a thing. If they continue to drive me nuts, then it's me---I need to do something about it such as turn it over, talk to my sponsor, work to change what I can, and quit beating myself up for the things I have no control over. A few years ago, frustration gave me license to drink---afterall, didn't I "deserve it" for having to put up with all that chaos?" In reality, it just caused more.
Thanks all, for letting me share. Don't give up before the miracle happens!!
Member: SN
Location: Ma
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 12:28:08 PM
Hi all, My name is Stacy and I am an alcoholic. I use to be in recovery 3 years ago and felt great. Then frustration set in due to the high demands of being a mother and running a house. I have recently went on a 5 day binger and feel more frustrated then ever. I need to stay clean for my kids and husband. Back to the steps and meetings for Me. Thanks
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 1:37:55 PM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, I apply Acceptance, whether its Live & Let Live, Dave's neighbor dying and feeling the guilt of wondering had I been too indifferent and should have said something or tried? etc, Frustration/expectations cropping up again, etc.
Acceptance comes to me from applying Steps 1,2 & 3 . . .I am powerless over the person, place or thing. God is God . . .He runs the show - I don't. I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him. . . and a simple prayer asking God do His Will and to please grant me Acceptance of what that turns out to be, and to Guide me as far any thing that IS my part that I can do . . .
Then I know inner peace inspite of the storm, clear productive thinking can get through to me for finding solutions, and I'm "out of the way" so God CAN work, and miracles happen, etc.
Restless, irritable & discontent takes a bit more action beyond this for me . . .that "space we're in when we're about to drink" . . . for me, I have to talk to my sponsor/others, bring up the topic at meetings, do writing on it, and my thinking doesn't see things clearly the way writing does, so I also do a written Step 4 on it to get it all out in the open, and primarily identify my FEARS in operation behind it all.
Its a program of action that works if we work it. Welcome back to those returning after relapses. I had relapsed after 6 years sobriety. Today I have 9 years - but had to really go to any length. Coming back after having had time in this Program is very hard unless we can forget we'd been here before - forget all I "already know" and be a brand new newcomer just doing exactly as Sponsor says to each day, as if never heard this before.
That's what made all the difference for me. And this 9 years is entirely different from what my first 6 had been.
Thanks for letting me share. With Love, Pam
Member: Joan
Location:
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 2:25:32 PM
Frustration.. WOW... What a topic. I was sober for over a year and relapsed out of frustration with everything in life. I just got back from seeing my therapist, He wants me to go back to AA. But I told him I haven't been in so long it would be hard. I am going to try. This I hope is Day 1 again.
Member: Wouter
Location: Neth
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 2:35:23 PM
Hello, wouter alkie etc. Frustration comes from a latin word and has to do with ' fraud'. That is what we used to do to ourselves, we frauded our 'clean souls' ( sorry) with all the stupid just-do-it- yourself-medication. Sometimes I feel frustated that I didn't quit my habbits, no, my addictions, no, my selfmedication actions of fraud earlier. But thinking that is an act of fraud on yourself, because then i look back in regret. Then selfpity is not far away. I just have to stop looking back so much. Guess that is part of the healing, and well, drinking and especially smoking pot on a daily basis for 20 plus years is just a huge shunk of time.
So I learn to just feel grateful that I escaped that vicious circle, that my eyes are clearblue, that my smile is genuine, that my musles are strong, and, last but not least, that my life starts after 40 ha ha ha.
Frustration is fraud, so be carefull ! It tends to corrupt people. The price is slavery, we all know that, don't we ?
Love, peace and vitamines.
Member: CS
Location: Chicago
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 3:01:59 PM
Hi I'm Cindy, I am back, this will make twice. The first time only sober 40 days. I am really afraid... afraid will I be able to live. What will life be like without alcohol? It has been such a crutch for so many years. I turned 36 years old, talk about FRUSTRATION! I havent done anything productive in my life. I have been wasting my life, my entire life drinking, then having a hang overs, wasting my days. Looking in the mirror and seeing someone I don't know anymore. I am very frustrated. Today will be Day 2, thought I would make a meeting at least on line. First step... I am scared, but I know I can't do it alone, God knows I have tried and tried and tried. Now I got to give it to God for once and for all. Thanks.... Cindy
Member: Frank C.
Location: San Diego, CA
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 7:53:20 PM
I am Frank and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on line. Frustration. Been there done that, often. I was in a recovery home for eight months and relapsed one week past my one year birthday. I just couldn't imagine drinking after eight months of hard core program life. Now I can't imagine not drinking again, and that's what keeps me coming back. If I do it right, my higher power will protect me. I just had my second birthday.
Early on in the program people would say that life isn't guaranteed to be good all of the time, just because your sober. I hated hearing that. I thought "I wont be able to handle that". Since I've been sober every single fear that I had while I was drinking has come to pass. It has been rough and caused much frustration, but I got through every bit of it without drinking. I wouldn't change a thing. Everything happened for a reason and that knowledge reduces my frustration. I also attack my frustration by playing my old life back. Anything I'm frustrated about couldn't possibly be as frustrating as being in complete slavery every second of my life to that next drink. Nothing has been nearly as frustrating as it used to be.
A bit long winded but thanks for being there. God Bless All!
Member: Tom
Location: NYC
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 9:25:22 PM
I needed to hear about Dave's neighbor. Sorry as it is, this kind of stuff helps to keep me sober another 24 hours because I know that I would be headed that direction if I were to pick up again. It's good to go to meetings to hear about gratitude and how to handle frustration and all that. It's part of who we are. However, it's most profound when I can listen to the folks who relapsed and why they went back out after a long time sober. They tell me over and over that nothing's changed. And I realize that I would be right back where I left off 3 years ago. Much as I'd like to escape from my frustrations now and then. What works for me? Prayer, meetings, my sponsor, action, service. They told me that if I kept coming back one day at a time and practiced the 12-step principles with rigorous honesty that my life would get better. It has. But they also warned me not to get too complacent. In other words, not to put anything above my sobriety because no matter how good it gets or how sober I get, my disease is waiting out in the alley, doing pushups.
Member: kaye n
Location:
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 9:50:55 PM
I cant believe I am here, all I know is I need help. percocet @ WINE,CAN NOT BE GOOD PLEASE HELP
Member: DON H.
Location: FLA.formally Cape Cod
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 9:51:51 PM
Hello all!Name is Donny & I am an alchoholic!!!When I am frustrated I read the following,& tell my self it could be worse! I've come to visit once again.I love to see you suffer mentally,physically,spiritually,and socially.I want to have you restless so you can never relax.I want you jumpy,nervous,and anxious.I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable.I want you to be confused and depressed so that you can't think clearly or positively.I want to make you hate everything and everybody-especially yourself.I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go of.I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are.I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the way things are.I want you to be deceitful,untrustworthy,manipulative,and con as many people as possible.I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all.I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me.You no you can't sleep without me,I'm even in your dreams.I want to be the first thing you wake to every morning,and the last thing you touch before you black out.I would rather KILL you,but I'll be happy enough just to put you back in the hospital,institution,or jail.But you no I'll still be there when you come out.I love to watch you slowly go insane.I love to see all the physical damage I am causing you.I can't help but snear and chuckle when you shiver and shake,when you freeze and sweat at the same time,and when you wake up with your bed linen soaking wet.It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your INTERNAL ORGANS while at the same time work on your BRAIN,destroying it bit by bit.I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me.The countless good jobs you've sacrificed,all the fine friends you deeply cared for,you gave them all up for me,and what's more,for the ones you turned against yourself because of you inexcusible actions-I'm more than grateful.Don't forget your loved ones,your family,the most importent people in the world to you-you even threw them away for me.You sacrificed all these beautiful things in LIFE just to devote your self completely to me.But do not despair my friend,for on me you can always depend.For after you have lost all these things,you can still depend on me to take even more.Depend on me to keep you in a living hell,to keep your mind,body,and soul.FOR I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD MY FRIEND!!! Faithfuly Yours,BOOZE!!!! I don't have a year,month,10 years,or even 20.I HAVE TODAY!!!! Never forget it could be worse.Thanks to Bill M. from Georgia,your comments helped me today.You get what ya need!! Donny saying Bye All.
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt vernon,IL
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:22:53 PM
I am an alcoholic, I have had lot of frustions in my life while I was drinking. I had no clue what the hell was going on what is the cure then once I was introduced to AA/12 steps I learnt the serenity prayer that changed everything, Now whenever I feel frustrated I remember my serenity prayer talk a deep breath and humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings.
Member: Mack
Location: va
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:40:00 PM
Hi Linda, I am a alcolic and been sober for 6 weeks. The group i have been in for the last 5 weeks told me to go to AA. I get frustrated by some of the answers thew gave so here i am. Trying to get read of some frustration to. Thanks fof the same fealings this is helping just taulking!
Member: gary r
Location: colorado
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:45:24 PM
hi, i am gary. i am an alcoholic. the serenity prayer helps me when i am frustrated. the things i can not change are the ones that frustrate me but to no that you can't change it makes it easier. good luck and stay sober
Member: mike
Location: way out west
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:48:54 PM
whenever i'm frustrated, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with me. i take a spot check inventory and quickly work steps 4 thru 9. then i do what's indicated. a little acceptance and understanding go a long way and if by chance i've already opened my mouth admitting i'm wrong doesn't hurt either.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 10:49:29 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks to those who genuinely shared!
I'm very familiar with frustration. Often, but not always, it has to do with me practicing patience or acceptance.
Although my frustration might cause me to say something I really shouldn't say or do something I really shouldn't do, more often, for me, frustration leads to tension, anxiety, and stress--things I don't enjoy and things which, if not dealt with throug meditation, prayer, exercise or whatever, may eventually lead me back to drinking.
Member: Tim S.
Location: MD
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 11:04:15 PM
Anyone available for discussion? I could use some fellowship...
Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 11:14:52 PM
when i get frustatrated i spank my monkey,it seems to help.
Member: DeanC
Location: NJ
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 12:01:47 AM
Tim, I am available for discussion. Dean
Member: TOBIAS H
Location: FL
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 1:34:51 AM
Speaking of fustration my internet provider just booted me offline, after I had spilled the A.A. gospel from the bottom of my heart. I was right on track and feeling so spiritual, then when I got booted off, I immediately caught myself swearing and having a little fit. I guess my Higher Power letting me know that I've got a ways to go, and my spiritual fitness could use an overhauling. A very grateful recovering alcoholic. I'm sober today by the grace of God and my higher power certainly speaks to me through you people. Thank God For A.A.
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa.
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 2:27:18 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Frustration for me usually sets in, when I begin to take other peoples inventory.I need to remember our slogan to thy own self be true.I can't control/change people, places or things. I believe that self centeredness is the heart of our disease.Its when I begin to think that everything revolves around me that I get discouraged/frustrated because things aren't going according to my wishes. Old saying, we are all created in God's image,when I stopped trying to create God in my image, life become a whole lot more enjoyable to live. I try to keep this program quite simple.I look at my day and figure its going to go either one of two ways. (1)Don't pick up the first drink no matter what. Trust God. Clean house wherever necessary. Help another alcoholic and see what happens.This is not a bad way to live. (2) Don't pick up the first drink. Forget about God. Trust Jack in all my affairs and be totally miserable. I think for today I will try and stick with the first option as best I can. I can honestly say that the only thing I ever got out fo just not drinking was frustration and misery. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: John L.
Location: South Florida
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 6:11:30 AM
In my struggles with frustration and acceptence, I've found this "hybred" Serenity Prayer very helpfull at times:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change, courage to change the people I can, and wisdom to know it's ME!"
This helps remind me that I have no power over others attitudes and actions, helping me to move on and not dwell or rage over it. I only have control, through God's grace, over my own actions and attitudes.
God assist us all in our pilgrimage through this wonderful maze called life.
Member: Perry H
Location: e
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 6:59:24 AM
Back in the day..... there was an ld timer
called ED G.... and he would always say
"Cease to be grateful, Cease to be sober."
Ain't that the truth! Frustration always goes
away when I try to help someone other than
myself.
Member: VIKKI
Location: GREENVILLE SC
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 7:49:39 AM
HI ALL,
VIKKI HERE, GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC...WHEN I GET FRUSTRATED AT SOMEONE OR CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES, I TRY AND REMEMBER THE SERENITY PRAYER; TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE. THAT SEEMS TO MAKE ME FEEL MORE TOLERANT OF MYSELF AND OTHERS. HAVE A GREAT WEEK TO EVERYONE.
Member: Sue
Location: Texas
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 7:56:04 AM
Member: Sue
Location: Texas
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 8:00:29 AM
I'm sorry, but I did not get to submit so I am submitting again. I did not read the directions. This is my first time to submit and read the comments. It will help me to start out my day. I'm so glad to be sober today. I woke up this morning feeling great and asking God to please, please help me not to pick up that first drink and also thanking him for letting me wake up this morning feeling wonderful for a day started out with not having a hangover and not feeling quilty for drinking the night before. It is a wonderful life without drinking. Everyone out there have a wonderful day!!!
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: alter
Location:
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 8:52:13 AM
alt here.. im kinda frustrated at myself. weeks ago i found that most of my resentments and anger are self centered, and why shouldn't they..i've spent 20+ years screwing up whatever happened in my world. Self Will Riot i can only relate too well to. 39 days into it again after never having more than 90 or so days when i was locked up in one way or another. AA and some other force i can't quite relate to (Maybe my HP) has kept me sober for the longest time since I can remember without being institutionalised. I am still takeing some issues and not letting them go - and i know i can make no further progress untill I do,I still want to hold on to them ans let them stew. All I can say is its a miracle to me..I almost dont know what hit me sort of..like when youre stunned over some fantastic thing that happens to you and you say "It hasn't really sunk in yet". That same sort of feeling. I am rambeling. Just know that excercise, and dilligent work on my spiritual,mental,and physical being, only then do I become whole and healed and happy. Thanks for letting me share..Im in.
Member: Jeff S.
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 9:29:39 AM
Furstration can be a source of true unhappiness. For me, I find that my frustrations come from being selfish "wanting things to go my way" or from not accepting a given situation for exactly what it is.(wanting the world to change to fit my needs or desires.)
I don't have a problem in my life today that a drink will make better. I don't have a problem in my life that acceptance will make worse.
If you are new, what is your source of frustration? Your spouse, your job, the legal system, your self (self loathing)????
could not all of these benefit from acceptance of the situation exactly as it is, not as we want it to be?
No one said focusing on me would be easy but really it is the only solution. I choose to focus on me today.
Member: Jim K.
Location: West Texas
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 11:38:00 AM
Hello. My name is Jim, and I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I have read many good things here today, but there is a lot I don't really understand. I read and re-read pg. 449, and all the rest of that story. I agree that acceptance is the key, and that nothing happens by mistake. Blah, blah, blah.
What happens when your acceptance runs out, or you've prayed all you can? I have found that reaching that boiling point sometimes just happens; it is unavoidable, no matter how prepared I THINK I am!
I do the do things, first and foremost. I have a great sposor that I keep in touch with daily. I have several very good meeting that I go to each week. I read my Big Book, and other recovery literature. I have learned to use the steps as a way of life, and have a tremendous relationship with God that I never thought was possible. But I am human, and I do have many emotions that I do not understand, and cannot control. Sometimes I just have to hang on to my ass and call someone, or just get to a meeting. And sometimes I absolutely loose my mind, and I act out in some very unhealthy way. The only thing that I can say has been a consistent in my life from day to day is that, by the grace of God, I have not had to pick up a drink or do any dope. That is, on some days, the very best thing I can hope for.
Now granted, as time passes, these crazy days get fewer and farther between. But they are still there. And for anybody who claims they are not, I pray that you don't get so miserable you have to drink or blow your brains out on the wall.
A quick note: A very close friend of mine, who used to sponsor me several years ago, spent the last year out drinking and shooting heroin after ten years clean. Somewhere during the last year or two he was sober, he got the idea in his head that he was "well". He began to believe that his character defects had disappeared, that he was a totally different person. Gradually he became self-reliant, and veered away from the program. About a month ago, he shot enough dope to kill an elephant, and blew up his heart. We had to put him in the ground.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Nikki B.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 12:56:58 PM
Hi everyone, I'm Nikki and I am an alcoholic. It's been awhile since I have been to this sight and am grateful for the things I have read....Frustration is a major thing that is going on in my life right now, and I am learning how to deal with the things that have gooten me here...I had been in denial of the death of my father for a long time and started to let the choas of other peoples lives be more important then dealing with my own...Now I get to pay the price and learn how to grow up some more. Boy growing pains hurt. I have been having a hard time since I had to let go of the person who was suppose to be my best friend and the man that I ove very dearly, but am unable to spend the rest of my life with....I have learned that you never put all your eggs in one basket and that I am grateful that I do have a lot of people around me that have long ond very good sobriety. This helps to ease the frustration of life on lifes terms.
I went to a funeral for someone last week that couldn't take the pain of life any longer and chose the other way out...Then this week I went to a funeral for a person who was not in the program, but understood that the simply things in life are the things that should bring the most joy.
I understood and comprhended on both the peoples feelings on going through life. And understand now why the funerals were in the order they were in. Life is here for me if I am willing to be happy about the little things in life that can bring me joy...I can't get hung up on the bad things...I need to see why they are happening in my life and try to change myself to make sure that they don't happen again.
We have to shut the door on certain things in our lives and feel the pain so that there is room for the new and better things to come into my life...Since all this has happened, I have started hanging out with people in the program who are able to help me move forward and that I am able to share my experinces in life to help them get through hard times.
I know that things don't work on my opinion and tell people to look for someone with experience in whatever their problem is...
There is one person in my life who has been running somewhat on the same path that I am walking and she has great sobriety and alot of years. I thank my HP for her everyday.
I know that life will keep throwing me frustrating situations, but I am becoming better equipped to handle them everyday.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: MIKE
Location: IOWA
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 1:58:27 PM
When i get frustrated i eat lots and lots of sweaty fart tarts i love sweaty fart tarts.
Member: Mary C.
Location: CT
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 2:35:50 PM
Don H: Thanks for that "letter" from Booze, I printed it out. Might be helpful to read now and then. thanks
Member: Mark D
Location: Manchester, NH
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 2:39:26 PM
Today is my 4 month anniversary. Something my wife said this morning brought me back to that hellish morning 4 months ago. I know I don't want to lose that memory because it is one of the strongest tools I have to keep sober. None of the meetings that I generally attend give out a 4 month chip. I guess that's what I'm coming here for. Happy but sad at the same time. But sober. Thanks for listening.
Member: Jim D.
Location: U.K.
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 5:48:23 PM
I'm Jim, an alcoholic. Frustration: can that be the result of unfulfilled desire? Great to desire something more than a drink. Great to have evidence that I am really alive and know the difference between wants and needs. That I can have both without shame or guilt simply because I have energy, ambition, maybe the money, to fulfill at least some of them. As for the others, that stranger patience might need to be drafted. Maybe I need time to reconsider. Whatever, I can choose, amazing.
Member: AllieR
Location: Michigan
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 6:31:55 PM
When I'm frustrated (and I can only speak for me). I find that it's usually because I have unreasonable expectations of a person or situation. If I can (which isn't always easy), I try to remember what's important in life, and for me that is maintaining a loving family and staying sober - amazingly... keeping it simple works for me! K.I.S.S.
Member: Sonda T.
Location: MA
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 6:33:16 PM
Hi I'm Sonda and I'm an Alcoholic. Frustration has been been first,last and middle name for about a year now. I went throuhg a 6 month rehab program that I graduated from 12/10/99. Never really stopped drinking when I came home. Went for days, but always alone on the weekends, no driver's license until October this year. Depend on my sister and brother-in-law for job that they have to pick me up and bring me to everyday. Today my brother-in-law had it. He came to pick me up,so I thought, and said he had it. As of right now I have no job as far as I know. All any one wanted was for me not to drink. I kept drinking because of self pity, self centeredness and pure frustration and selfishness. I knew that, but never made the effort to fix it. Oh an on-line meeting now and then, read the big book. Now I'm getting on my knees, which is kind of frustrating, because I don't know what to believe. The knot in my stomach gets worse and worse. My last drink was Sunday. Thanks.
Member: choker
Location:
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 6:38:37 PM
mike in iowa you can eat sweaty balls too.
Member: GeraldineM
Location: BA ,Argentina
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 7:30:58 PM
My name is geraldine and i'm an alcoholic. I find my ability to deal with frustration builds between meetings. I get intolerant of others and forget I am powerless. Gratitude lists, other aa members and the serenity prayer help me remember that its good to be sober and I only ever have to deal with what is in front of me right now. thank you for helping me today.
Member: Mary C.
Location: CT
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 7:48:14 PM
<<Sonda>> hang in there... prayer has got to be a good place to start. That's what I'm doing anyway.
<<Mark D.>> 4 months, that's awesome man, keep it up! You deserve the recognition.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 8:55:01 PM
"Some help on dealing with frustration;;" I find it helpful not to use the word deal. Dealing means playing a card game with such things as frustration. I rather say then, deal me out, and or, on the other hand, I'll not deal the cards on such things as frustration for I don't want to win, but rather be rid of the problem. Such things are spiritual and are evil, the very devices of satan. He does not take no for an answer when you use the word deal, for the game has begun. What other defination is there for deal without turning to a dictionary? It's the only one I know besides what its come to mean, which is wrest. How do you deal with this or that, you don't play the game. Try using another word, even wrest or fret against frustration. When someone asks you then how you deal with frustration, you simply say you don't, for the word deal comes crashing into your mind as the card game that it is. You can use the word flee, I flee frustration. Another word you can take a look at is the word with, So then, how does this sound if we back up: I need some help dealing against frustration! It works very well and here you can also see the implications such language tends to, for if I say with, rather than against, it puts me on the same team as frustration rather than placeing me fighting against it. So then in the end; here we have instead; How does one wrest against frustration? The answer is, even in this one, he doesn't he flees from it. But and if it follows after you even when you flee from it then: Leave all and you shall find all, leave your desires and you shall find rest; for what ever it may be that frustrates me, I don't have it, it has me....
Member: Barry P.
Location: Belmont, Ohio
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 9:05:10 PM
Hi My name is Barry and I'm a alcholic. Frustrated, I know what that word meens. I've been that way for the last couple days.I don't really know why, but I'm pissed off at the world for some reason. To make a long story short I got devorced in December and after two years sober relapsed last October. But I came right back in the next day and haven't drank since. But you know what scares the hell out of me, I'm thinking the same way that I was thinking in October. It won't go away. I'm praying, going to meetings, talking to my sponser, but the thoughts keep coming back. Maybe everybody could say prayer for me that I keep coming back. Thanks and sorry I didn't have much to add.
Member: JR2806
Location: Michigan
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 10:13:30 PM
My name is JR and i am a alcholic i have been clean and sober since july of 1982, and i still have my bouts with frustration most of the time it is due to the fact that i am so caught up in the me that i forget there are others in this world with thier own problems goals and schedules,sometimes it is due to my not keeping in with my own limitations etc. what works for me is remembering the spiritual axiom that i need to do my inventory and see where the real problems lie.More often then not i have gotten away from my faith in God as I understand him ,and am running the show again !!It is when i get back to the basics of the 12 steps that I find i lose that feeling, sometimes asking myself just how inportant in the total scheme of life is is anyway helps. Going to lots of meetings and staying close with my sponsor or helping those that I sponsor certainly doesnt hurt either thank you for letting my share this
Member: Mack
Location: Va.
Date: 2/13/01
Time: 10:25:04 PM
happy 4 mt Mark ( LINDA ) I just got home from my first meating sence 96 it dose fill good sence i am still WITH ALL OF YOU that dose help nowing there is others that have the same problem as i have with frustration . Now that my heart is thinking of it i do get strested and then angry . The meating i went to did help a lot with all that. all i cac asy noe is go to a meating and trust GOD and PRAY trust in someone stay souber. LOVE ALL OF YOU
Member: Jim S dos 9/9/99
Location: Seattle
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 12:58:10 AM
Hi everyone, my name is Jim and I am an alcoholic. I'm liking this discussion, it seems that I can fall into the frustration trap before I have a chance to think program. At that point, I'm usually screwed... Sometimes, however, I do see it coming,(more often the longer I stay sober), and can do what I need to do to stay spiritually fit. For me, I need to remember that AA is a program about living life,(including frustration), as well as a program about alcoholism. ism. ism. What I do when I find myself "in the barrel" or frustrated is to focus on step 3. I can't, he can, let him. Specifically, if I'm frustrated, it's becouse I'm trying to force MY will on the situation around me, reacting instead of responding. For me, this NEVER works. What does work is step 3. The other thing that helps me is to remember that "when all else fails, work with another alcoholic will save the day." Sometimes all I need is just to get out of MYSELF.
Dave A and Jim K, thanx 4 sharing w/me! I needed to hear what you had to say!
RM and Jim, WELCOME, KEEP COMING BACK!
Thanx 4 letting me share. JS
Member: Cynthia C
Location: Oregon Coast
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 1:40:34 AM
I love how this stuff works. You just stumble into the answers despite yourself. Frustration is something we as alcoholics, fortunately do not have the corner on the market. It helps me to see normal everyday people, (I have those in my life now)struggle with frustrations also. I'm not abnormal to have those feelings, i just react to them abnormaly. React being the clue here. I'm allowed to be frustrated, or angry, or any of those uncomfortable feelings I washed down with a drink or a drug. I have tools today that I learned in these rooms, I can talk to someone about it, I like to write things down to get a clearer perspective of my situation, and pray like hell! Thanks for letting me share. After reading some of the posts, I'm real grateful to just be a little frustrated now and again.
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 4:20:04 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I learned in steps 1&2 that insanity, wrong thinking, was my problem. The steps are designed to restore me to right thinking. I further learned in step 4 that the symptons of my insanity are selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking and fear.
One or more of these defects was and is the root of my negative thinking and feelings. My frustrations were and are part of selfishness. I want, don't want, don't like, want different.
Some people like acceptance as found on page 449 of the Big Book. I prefer the answer given in steps 3&4 in the Big Book. In step 3 we need God's help to overcome selfishness. In step 4 we overcome fear with God's help and in sex we turn to God's guidance.
This becomes a simple program. I have only 4 major character defects(all other negatives fit into one of these categories) I have 1 answer for all 4 defects. Turn the problem over to God.
To keep this working I practice step 11 every day. The AA program found in the Big Book still works today.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Evelyn P.
Location: Cape May, N.J.
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 9:47:44 AM
My Name is Evelyn, and I'm an alcoholic. Great topic!!!!! When I need an answer to a problem or question I always go to the book or books. I looked up Frustration, in "As Bill See It". I read all the passages and felt that what Bill was saying to me was that frusation, anger, intolerance, ect. ect. (add your own),comes from my unbalanced demands. The only way to have some peace from it is, though utter defeat, so I may take the first steps towards liberation. (Live and let live). I must ask myself, am I trying to be the director of the show or am I going to accept the things are the way they should be. Hope this helps. I want to add that I also feel that you are living on lifes terms and being human also means feeling. It is when your feelings get so off balance that you need to ask God to remove the defects and let go.
Member: Honey B
Location:
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 10:56:01 AM
Hi. I love what Cynthia C. said about frustration. Everyone gets that way, not just us alcoholics. I guess it's normal! It helps to strive to make our lives better. After all, what would life be like is everything was always sweet bliss? It is the "bad" times in my life that have built me the best character. Unfortunately, frustration can get so intense, and overwhelm....that is why I wrote three suicide notes in the past year and just wanted to die. (my version of journaling). It is the things that we cannot change that frustrate us the most. And sometimes, it is nearly impossible to accept the things we cannot change when they are so damned unjust! Then I get obsessed about things and let it twist my insides around until I am a basket case. I am still learning how to "let go". It is something like stepping off a cliff and trusting God to catch you before you hit the rocks. Good thing He is faithful! Since we cannot change certain things in our lives, why let them have power over us? It is all in our own heads. It is like the ultimate codependency. One of my biggest problems is giving things over to God, and then taking them back again once it is time again to deal with "it" (whatever "it" is). Then I have to give it back to God again, and it ends up in a long term game of tug of war. I wonder why God has so much patience with us humans! He is the Ultimate Father.
Ponder these words: Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praisworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9
The Living Word tells us to focus on the good, and put it into practice. Thanks for letting me share. This group is very valuable to me. Right now it is the only meeting I attend and it is helping me to cope with my sobriety.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 11:13:56 AM
frustration? when i get a knot in my shoelace,or the cable goes out in the middle of a movie,or my computer is on the fritz,or i sit in traffic,or i wait in a long coffee line,or at work they won't do it my way,ect...ect...i'm not going to drink alcohol over any of this,frustrations will always pop up,they will pass too...stick to your plan of not drinking no matter what!...the power of prayer,is the key.also i try to find a little humor in things it keeps me from getting up tight....the aa slogans help with frustration too...don't drink today! i'm tony ,a not so frustrated ,alcoholic
Member: Jane B.
Location: Annapolis, MD
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 1:44:08 PM
Frustration means so many different things. I've felt it at different times, for different reasons. It can be a relatively quick little irritant or It can be an all-pervasive feeling that lasts much longer than I want it to and affects way too much of my reaction to others.
I've found several "techniques" that have helped me at various times. Some of these have been so good they have greatly reduced the number of times I run up against the wall of frustration. I'll share 3 here, though I have tons more:
1) When I get that depth of frustration, I do something just for me, like: a) read an article from a magazine I really enjoy b) have a cup of tea in a neat cup and sit and watch nature c) take a short walk outdoors, regardless of the weather, etc., etc.
2) Get around positive people. Build more positive people into my life. I don't drop a friend who might be too negative for me, but I limit the time I hang around them and try to influence them with my positive responses and acceptance.
3) I love little sayings that seem to conceptualize humanity and experience, so I collect them and post them where I'll keep seeing them throughout my day. My refrigerator is covered with magnets, my house if full of those cute little country decorations with sayings on them, and I'll write down inspirational or funny things and keep them in my day planner in a special section. These are visual reminders that attitude helps to deal with frustration. They remind me frustration is a universal experience, not just my ego-centric pitty party which could go on forever IF I let it. They remind me HUMOR and Reframing to Positives are choices available to me. A couple of favorites are:
Attitude is everything.
"Be the change that you want to see in the world"...Mahatma Gandhi
What we get from the world is a living. What we give the world is a life.
We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
The woman who makes no mistakes usually doesn't make anything,
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
A happy home is where both mates think that they got better than they deserve.
I collect angels. My husband thinks I started with him.
Everyone deserves at least one hug a day.
A mother's love is reflected in her child's smile.
Member: Perseverence
Location:
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 7:12:43 PM
Frustration! Yes!
"One who pursues Righteousness and loyalty finds Life, Righteousness and Honor!" Pr 21:21
"Happy are those who hunger and thirst for Righteousness, for they shall be satisfied!!" Mt 5:6
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 7:30:07 PM
Hi Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. The greatest enemies of us alcoholics: resentment, jealousy, envy, FRUSTRATION and fear(p 145). The hideous four horseman: Terror, Bewilderment, FRUSTRATION, despair. (p151). These are problems.
The Solution: The program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There is only one place where you will find the instuctions. In our Big Book. By the time we get to Step Nine. If we are painstaking about this phase...Painstaking meaning careful and diligent... we will know a new freedom and a new happiness.
These are far more than a promise or two. They will always materialize.... That implies a guarantee. A result of working the Steps.
Bill
az-bill@primenet.com
Member: RYAN M
Location: OR
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 7:38:23 PM
SOMETIMES WHEN IT ALL SEAMS TO MUCH TO HANDEL AND THERES NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT KNOW THAT IT WILL JUST TAKE TIME AND JUST SUBMINT TO AND GO ON WITH LIFE
Member: RYAN M
Location: OR
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 7:38:40 PM
SOMETIMES WHEN IT ALL SEAMS TO MUCH TO HANDEL AND THERES NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT KNOW THAT IT WILL JUST TAKE TIME AND JUST SUBMINT TO AND GO ON WITH LIFE
Member: RYAN M
Location: OR
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 7:39:06 PM
SOMETIMES WHEN IT ALL SEAMS TO MUCH TO HANDEL AND THERES NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT KNOW THAT IT WILL JUST TAKE TIME AND JUST SUBMINT TO IT AND GO ON WITH LIFE
Member: DORIS
Location: SOBER &CLEAN
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 7:55:32 PM
RYAN IT RAINS TO MUCH IN OREGON,AND EVERYBODYS ON DRUGS IN OREGON,THE WHOLE STATE IS NOTHING BUT ONE LARGE METH LAB,AND EVERYONE IS CORRUPT
Member: ed
Location:
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 8:46:03 PM
Oh man, My name's ed I'm trying to know I'm an alcoholic and I'm in my 18th hour of sobriety, trying to convince myself to go to a meeting. Any helpful ideas for someone who wants to stop but always goes back drinking ofter a few days? I live a dual life and mostly manage to hold it together while drinking (sort of) though at great expense health and time-wise. Please advise
Member: LU-LU
Location:
Date: 2/14/01
Time: 10:32:59 PM
MR.ED, A HORSE IS A HORSE OF COURSE OF COURSE,BUT NO ONE CAN TALK TO A HORSE OF COURSE,UNLESS OF COURSE ITS THE TALKING MR. ED
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 8:25:29 AM
I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and the AA fellowship. Hey, Ed, talk about chiming in right on topic. What could be more frustrating than wanting to stop, knowing you should stop, trying to stop, only to turn back to alcohol as the only answer to what ails you? Well, there is another answer. All it takes is a little courage. Start going to AA, start talking to the people you meet there, start asking for help. We have another way of life for you. All you have to do is say, "I've had enough," and come join us. If you can't bring yourself to do that, well, I remember. It took a lot of misery before I was ready. Hope you can find it in you to take a big step. The rewards are endless. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred
Member: Mary C.
Location: CT
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 9:34:28 AM
<<ED>>: I hear ya man, I'm feeling the same way right now. I'm sure it starts like this for most people. But atleast it's a start right? Seriously wanting to quit (i know there's always still a part that doesn't want to too - that's the problem). I was doing some reading up on addiction and what psychology has to say about it recently (an old psych student, I can't help it :)... and there's this period they label "contemplation"- where you realize you should quit and are thinking about quitting, etc. Well they say the average time for that stage is about 2 years. Yeah... so it's totally normal to go back and forth with it for a long time. To me though, the point is I'm here. No I haven't had the courage to go to a real meeting yet, but starting here is a start.
I gave into the urge last night and went out. Lonliness will do it to you. Feeling crappy about it this morning... but atleast I can feel good that the first thing I did was check in here and re-focus myself. More than I used to do. Good luck, and keep us updated. Fred M., thanks for sharing- so true. I guess that's the basic frustration every alcoholic deals with atleast at the start. Thanks for being here everyone. mary
Member: Von
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 10:53:22 AM
Von, alcoholic and sober because of the program of AA as outlined in the Big Book. Thanks for the topics Linda and Dave.
When I was new in the program, I was frustrated a lot. As I worked the program, a greater degree of peace and serenity entered my life and my levels of frustration reduced trememdously. Every now and then, I might get a burst of frustration, like in traffic yesterday, but I don't drink over it. Instead it gives me a chance to look within to find the answer to my frustration. I remember who I am today and why I'm here. Pretty soon the feelings disappear.
As an alcoholic I have a perception problem. Also, because I am self-centered I use my limited experience and my warped perception to judge what I'm going through and what's going on around me. That's why my relationships in the fellowship are so important. The people in the program who love me, including my sponsor and sponsees, will call me on it. If I avoid truth and try to figure stuff out in my head all the time, then I'm in trouble. Because look where my best thinking took me.
Step 10 tells me to take a daily inventory. This implies that I've completed Steps 1-9, and am on the maintenance steps. The frustration is an opportunity to look inside myself and look for truth by being honest with myself. It exposes ways of thinking that I don't want to have then I become willing and humbly ask my Higher Power to help me grow in spirituality.
It's not what happens but how I handle it. If I'm still running around frustrated and pissed off that things aren't going my way, then I'm not in a good place. As others have said, self-pity is the next step, and resentments are not far behind. Resentments are the number one killer of the alcoholic.
I am free to choose today, how I'm going to feel about anything and how to handle it. But I can never made a decent decision if I'm not on a good program of sobriety. So instead of bellyaching and bitching, I try to focus on "what next?" or "What's the next right thing to do?". That's what living life on life's terms and living in the moment is all about.
If none of this makes sense, then keep coming back and rigorously pursue the program of AA. If you're sober, then you know what I'm talking about.
Member: nick
Location: pa
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 11:31:58 AM
nick,alcoholic sober 6 years today,by the grace of God. my life today is better than i ever dared to hope for. but i get frustrated that everyone i try to help relapses and ends up dead or in prison. i know ican only carry the message not the drunk, but it still hurts. im almost afraid to try anymore feel like a jinx
Member: T Buncie
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 11:32:29 AM
Hello everyone. My name is Todd and I am an Alcoholic. I have recently went trhough Rehab in Jaxsonville Florida.I would like to fine an online sponsor. I prefer the one on one kind of meetings. I cant honestly say that I have done the steps. ITs tough and I need some help. Please E-mail me at Bunice43@aol.com ig you are willing to help me out and guide me through the steps. Thank you
Member: Cherise L.
Location: Bloomsburg, PA
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 1:20:26 PM
Hi All,
Frustration for me has always been a learning tool. When I look in hindsight I always see what God was trying to tell me.
I have been frustrated lately, because the AA meetings where we moved too are lacking in just about everything that is important. Especially the Traditions!! I came from hardcore AA (Thank God) and here it is sad. I have a sponsee who has 90 days and brings her 13 yr. old to (CLOSED) meetings which I wasn't aware of. The other night she brought her to a meeting I was at and I told her it was a closed meeting and that unless her daughter had a desire to stop drinking she couldn't stay. She told me "My daughter needs to hear this stuff". She ended up leaving. I phoned her when I got home, and she was very snotty and asked "Who made you miss AA?" The sad part is, no one but my husband would have supported these Traditions Which are what keeps AA alive.
I was unusually disturbed by this whole thing more than it should have, and realized that I can't change other peoples thinking, but I can do more for myself. I called some people in my old town and asked one of them to be my sponsor, I prayed, and wrote in my journal, and read this meeting. I see that it bothered me so much because I wasn't where I needed to be, and this reminded me that No matter how different AA is there are always people that are there and I will always be able to stick with the winners if I follow what I have learned. Back to basics for me. A lesson comes out everytime I am frustrated, (What a blessing to be able to look at my own stuff through any situation.)
Thank you all for listening I needed to vent all this,and I will continue to carry the message here and maybe someday someone will get it.
Love to all!
Member: lu lu
Location: prison
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 2:02:54 PM
my ass is sure/////....
Member: lu lu
Location: prison
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 2:03:01 PM
my ass is sure/////....
Member: lu lu
Location: prison
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 2:03:08 PM
my ass is sure/////....
Member: TiffanyB
Location: Leesburg,VA
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 3:18:04 PM
Hi Linda, I think I know a little about frustration; but I am certainly not one to give advice about dealing with. My therapist has only recently gotten me to accept that I have an alcohol problem or more aptly put I am an alcoholic.
I am frustrated just admitting that alone. I have been able to drink one drink and been perfectly fine and then another time that same drink may cause me to "loop out". To me that is frustrating. I wrecked a car on 3 glasses of wine once and then other times I drove home perfectly fine(or so I thought)on more.
Being bipolar does not help. Alcohol is an evil for me. More for me than others. That is frustrating also. I have only been sober for a few days and at times I am very angry about being made to do so by the courts. But in reality I know that I am an Alcoholic and that I must stop--yes it is frustrating.
I hope that your frustrations decrease soon.
Member: roo
Location: out of prison
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 6:09:56 PM
sorry lu lu must of been in your mouth lots of love lu lu i do like you honey
Member: roo
Location: out of prison
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 6:10:03 PM
sorry lu lu must of been in your mouth lots of love lu lu i do like you honey
Member: roo
Location: out of prison
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 6:10:10 PM
sorry lu lu must of been in your mouth lots of love lu lu i do like you honey
Member: joe c.
Location: montana
Date: 2/15/01
Time: 10:57:57 PM
roo you are very sick.you need mental help pro- fessionals.you probably are much sicker then you realize.there is help for you,just go to: WWW.ROTTEN.COM
they will help you there.
Member: Bob A
Location: Tulsa OK
Date: 2/16/01
Time: 2:36:36 AM
Step ten in the big book says that when fear frustration jealousy and the like crop up I need to do a few things. 1. Pray and ask God to remove it from me. 2. Talk to someone about it 3.Make amends for any harm done and 4. resolutly turn my thought to someone I can help. I know that after doing these things I have either forgotten what was bothering me or it has been removed form me -Bob A
Member: Gwen G
Location: North Country Fair
Date: 2/16/01
Time: 7:58:12 AM
Howdy. Gwen, here, an alcoholic. I wasn't able to read all the shares but the ones I read were wonderful. Cindy, I got sober at 35, now am 47. In that 11 years, I have been able to have a son (my 40th birthday present):), have 2 really great friends, stay married to my husband (20 yrs this Sept),raise 3 children who do super most of the time and live a life that, although much, much simpler than I dreamed (I wanted to be Alexis on Dallas), much better than I ever dreamed possible. Hey, Grandma Moses was in her 80's I think when she started painting! So don't worry about your age and the time wasted. I found it makes for great "I did that too" stories for my kids. kaye n - my God, child, get yourself some help! Like someone said; recovery isn't an "I" thing, it's a "we" thing (and I'm not talking percocet & wine). In an AA meeting, you'll find people that ask "how are you"? and really want to know. Try finding that in the world you're in now. Life will get worse & worse untill you grab yourself by the rear and GET SOME HELP!!! Frustration=works of the flesh. When I'm trying to do God's job I get frustrated because, hey, I'm just not God. I don't want to be, either, tho I do try. My job is to find & do His will, which keeps me busy, challenged, & happy. I ran into page 60 in the Big Book and it really says it all. Great topic and thank you for all of your shares.
Member: roo
Location: back to recovery
Date: 2/16/01
Time: 1:43:31 PM
roo sorry for being bad boy love recovery .. joked to hard here sorry to lu lu we freinds now
Member: brenda r
Location: tx
Date: 2/16/01
Time: 9:41:18 PM
Hi prayers for all and thanks for being here. My first time here second time sober since i was 15. Heard it said once that your true emotional age is the one where you started drinking. I am 39 now and if you have never seen a 15yr old go through a midlife crisis watch this. -smile-. having had only one sweet 3mo taste of sobriety in all of these years the frustration for me has been knowing what i could have and having it kept from me by alcohol. so 5 years later i am now 5 days out and remembering what a young man said in a meeting once that "I dont have to drink anymore". I am joyous now but know that the frustration will be back and so will many other issues but the difference is that God is a pretty awsome dragonslayer and he fights for me. Please include me in your prayers if you have the time. Thanks for sharing and God Bless xoxoxo B
Member: sam b
Location: nj
Date: 2/16/01
Time: 11:26:38 PM
hi i'm sam alcoholic. i think that patience is the key to beat frustration. easy dose it is not just a slogan, its a way of life. when i feel myself getting uptight, i take a breath relax and let it go. we spent enough of our drinking lives being frustrated, who needs it?
Member: Stef
Location: Canada
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 8:45:28 AM
hi, Stef alcoholic/pot addict, 6 months. Frustration can creep up easily, especially when I'm stressed. Stress=frustration. The thing is that I ask my power above to help me deal w/it, and more often than not, it passes. I believe that pain/frustration is inevitable, but that suffering is optionnal.
Thanks for letting me share, and have a great 24 hours!
Member: HIPOLITO R.
Location: IL.
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 11:08:56 AM
HI I'M HIPOLITO I'M AN ALCHOLIC SOBER TODAY ONLY THREW THE GRACE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF THIS PROGRAM.THIS IS MY FIRST TIME HERE.REGARDING THE TOPIC, I HAVE TO TAKE A QUIET TIME ASK GOD FOR HELP ,ASK FOR PATIENTS JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE I KNOW MY HIGHER POWER IS WATCHING OVER ME I KNOW HE TAKES CARE OF ME AND HE DOESN'T GIVE ME TO MUCH TO HANDLE ,REMEMBER EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU DO NOT FACE THESE THINGS ALONE ASK FOR HELP .THANKS
Member: roopolito
Location:
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 12:52:04 PM
hipolito....................that is a funny name...............my name is roopolito
Member: 2 Car
Location: Pa
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 1:35:51 PM
My frustration comes when I expect too much. Good God I have high expectations of everything. Work, self, others. If I lighten up it usually gets better. Really glad to see this site took on a life of its own :) peace
Member: Dana A.
Location: Texas
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 1:51:39 PM
I am going to lose everything if I do not stop. I am an alcoholic. That is a hard thing for me to admit. Frustration, is something I know well. I told my husband last night that I do not have a problem. I was drunk. I am tired of all of this. I desperately need help. When I get frustrated, I drink. And I don't stop. I've been very close to dying a few times and am very thankful I didn't. Feeling sorry for myself is my other favorite pastime. I believe that the drinking causes that. Please help me.
Dana A.
Member: Phil
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 2:44:49 PM
I get frustrated when I read posts like yours Dana because there is a solution and it is so simple (not easy). Six years ago this March I felt exactly like what you are describing. Thanks to God and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous though I am still alive and reasonably peaceful most of the time now. Don't let the God thing scare you. If you want to quit drinking worse than you want to keep drinking you will go to any lengths (in other words just keep an open mind). I tried to quit drinking thousands of times without outside help and was frustrated to the point of abject despair. At first I just "came" to AA. Even daily meetings didn't help much until I got a good sponser and began to have the steps explained to me. As I began to work on them I slowly "came to" and began my mental recovery. Then with time I "came to believe" in a Higher Power and this is when my compulsion to drink left me and I lost that daily sense of bewilderment, rage, and frustration that kept me beat down for so long. At any rate the reason I get frustrated at practicing alcoholics today is I want them to be able to experience the peace I have found. I have to realize that I can not do anything for you. Only you can take that first step. You have to want help not just need help. Please get in the phone book and find the local number for AA and get to a meeting today. Don't worry about how it makes you feel. Just go. I got drunk before my first meeting just to get up the courage to go and then once I got there I felt both ashamed to be there and at the same time superior a little bit to all these weaklings sitting there ADMITTING they were alcoholics. But something there held me and thankfully I went back and got sober. God bless you. ODAAT Phil http://www.recovery.org http://www.grapevine.org http://www.12steps.org
Member: Phil
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 2:50:01 PM
OOPS!! http://www.aagrapevine.org
Member: ROO
Location:
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 5:43:45 PM
LU-LU WHERE ARE YOU?
ROO
Member: zu-zu
Location:
Date: 2/17/01
Time: 9:03:10 PM
im right here
Member: Lisa D.
Location: Southern California
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 12:13:23 AM
Hi I'm Lisa and I'm an alcoholic.
Whenever I get frustrated, I try to focus on what's in front of me, what needs to get done. Most often, there's a task that needs doing (folding laundry, when home, doing my job when there). It's called "suiting up and showing up" for life.
I found myself very frustrated yesterday about a situation at work. Instead of sitting in my feelings, I cleaned out a desk drawer. Believe it or not, doing this simple task calmed me down a lot.
We don't become perfect in sobriety, at least I haven't what we can do is try things and keep doing what works.
Member: Noel Gregory S
Location: Miami, FL
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 3:58:50 AM
Hi, my name is Noel Gregory, and I’m an alcoholic.
Frustration to me, is that feeling when everything you try to do turns out wrong. When that happens, it is time for me to sit down and try doing nothing, walk away, take deep breaths. Tell God how much I hate everything and why isn’t She doing a better job. The God of my understanding has a sense of humor; He created me. Pray. Laugh at myself. I call a friend and tell them about my problem. I go to a live meeting. I get out and exercise. I start over again. I just do not Drink!
If you are not frustrated some times, check your pulse you just may not have one. The only people I know without problems are in the graveyard.