Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 7:09:01 PM
When I drink a get alot of grief from family and friends about how much I drink.
Now that I'm dry, trying to be sober, some of these same people don't understand why I won't drink at all. "You can have just one..." or "I't only a glass of wine.(or beer)"
Can't they understand????
Member: Melissa
Location: Canada
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 7:25:17 PM
Hi, Frank, no, some of them don't seem to understand. It was a good day for me when I understood that they didn't have to understand...as long as I did.
In my time sober, I have noticed that most people don't notice or care what I am drinking. The ones that do are sending up red flags about how important alcohol is to them. No matter. I am a person who cannot drink any alcohol under any circumstances. That's all I concern myself with these days. It was a learning curve (grin*) God bless you on your learning curve!!
Member: Robin A
Location: NY
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 7:40:42 PM
Robin, Alcoholic. I still get "you could have one" but I know it is the first one that gets me drunk. So I don't have one. I also try to stay away from the places that have booze around. Can't always, but I am very choosy of where I go and who I hang around with. Not always easy. I just do what I have to do to not drink! Thanks for the meeting.
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 7:53:50 PM
I'm Steve and I'm an alcoholic. Frank,people who are not alcoholics do not understand why we cannot just have one. We cannot expect them to. It is impossible to understand what a disease is like if you yourself do not have it. An example would be if I tried to understand what it feels like to have cancer. I do not have cancer therefore I will never really know what it is like to have it. All I ask of my nonalcoholic friends is to respect me by not pushing "just one drink" on me while at thier home and while at my home they should neither expect to find alcohol nor come to my home under the influence because it would be disrespectful to me. That is all I can ask. Other than that I need to except the fact that alcohol exists in this world along with people who drink (I admit there are times when this is very difficult). My advice is to tell these people that for you it is all or nothing. There is no middle of the road. We either drink large quantities in great frequency or we don't drink so much as a drop. There is no "just one". If they care about you, they will respect this. If you or anyone else wishes to drop me a line, I am always willing to talk with sober people. The connection I share with other alcoholics is a powerful one. wile_e_coyote27@hotmail.com
Member: Don N
Location: Clear Lake. Iowa
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 7:55:51 PM
HI When I first sobered up Frank, my friends and family often askerd me that same question. Your right most of those normies dont understand or care. After a while they quit asking. Most are so wrapped up in their own lives to care. My really true friends and the members of my family that love me know what alcohol does to me. They are the first ones to make sure when alcohol is around they inform me of such. My loved ones were always there but didnt let them share my life when I was drinking. Trying to practice the principles of our steps and living the program of AA shows up and my daily life. Others see this. I am so gratful for what I have today. Give others time, if they are truly your friends they will come around. God bless and keep coming back, it works if you let it.
Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 8:03:42 PM
Lessa here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks for getting us started, Frank. Your question brought to mind an experience I had a few years back...
I was on assignment in England for a summer. I ended up staying at a hotel with an attached pub, that a friend's cousin ran. So I'd feel at home. Nice folks. On Sunday evenings, after closing hours, they'd lock the front door and open the bar - unlimited booze, free of charge - to friends and family. I was included in that. I felt fine, drinking my ice water or diet coke. Nobody got drunk - they enjoyed the quiet get together. As did I. But I did get encouraged to try the local cider and ale. Which I always turned down. The first time they looked at me like I was crazy. The next week again asked me if I drank, to which I replied, "no". The third week, the cook finally asked, "are you a teetotaler, or what?" The heads came up like in an E. F. Hutton commercial. Made me think everybody was listening - which they were! I replied clearly, "I don't drink anymore. I did enough drinking when I was younger and got into enough trouble to last a lifetime. So I just don't bother with it." Well, that honesty was rewarded with explosive laughter. And everyone sat around that evening, relating various drunken experiences that were hilarious - it reminded me alot of an AA meeting. And made me realize how lucky I am to not HAVE to drink today.
Today I know that the most important thing is that *I* realize that I cannot drink. As long as I accept that as fact, it doesn't matter what others think or ask.
Thanks for letting me share.
lessa_e@hotmail.com
Member: Carol B
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 8:14:04 PM
Welcome to the group Frank you are definitely one of us. If we were still drinking no one would ask us if we wanted another one, now that we don't they can't figure out why we won't. Funny thing is they would not know or want to know us if we were drinking. I say you can say NO forever, but are they really listening. I now say NO Thank You and leave it at that and let them try to figure it out. Good Luck and remember we are only staying sober for ourselves and not the normies out there. One Day at A Time.
Member: Brian C
Location: North Carolina
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 8:26:50 PM
Hey Frank, Brian, Alcoholic. I know exactly what you are talking about. One of the reasons i failed trying to stop drinking by myself so many times was all my suitemates in college would say, you can just have one, pass yourself, make a limit, we'll watch you. You see, since my senior year in highschool, i was the kid you had the alcohol hook ups, and was the partier. i came to college and got the same image with my friends, so it is tough for them to imagine Brian not drinking. I just tell them now that i don't trust myself to stop, and i can not nessasarily count on them to keep track of my when they are drinking, its not their job to watch me and if they are getting drunk they probably couldn't do a good job at it. I just have to remeber now, that i can't trust myself with it, that it really is the "devil brew" for me, and i like myself alot more when i am solber. Steve also brings up a great point that they do not know the desiese it is. to them it is easy to know when to stop. That is why i am hear, to get support and consatntly remeber why i can't just have one. and who knows maybe one day i'll get my gir back :-)
Member: Virginia D
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 8:42:40 PM
Thanks for the topic Frank.
Reminds me of when I worked in the offices at McDonnell Douglas Company and the employees would meet at a popular restaurant usually on Fridays to have dinner and celebrate birthdays etc. Oh course many drank too.
I had a pat answer whenever anyone would ask me why I wasn't drinking...I would say "the doctor doesn't want me to" and it worked, they seemed to understand that one and would leave me alone.
AND, I didn't stay around long either since I had a Big Book meeting to get to by 6 p.m.
So grateful,
Member: Madeline S.
Location: L.I. New York
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 9:56:30 PM
Hi, I have 6 years in the program and just recently a friend said he thought I could have just one as I am real strong. I ran to lots of meetings and shared his wisdom as I know I can't have just one. I didn't try to convince my friend as the only one who needs to know I'm an alcoholic is me and my drink of choice is Diet Coke and I make no apologies for that. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Dan H
Location: Henderson/LV,NV
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 10:09:25 PM
Hi all, Dan, alcoholic. Great topic. If I drink one drink, it triggers a craving in my brain and and I have an allergic reaction. Once that allergy kicks in I lose control and proceed to destroy everything and anyone around me, including myself. It might not happen right away but within a few weeks, or months, or years I will be back to right where I was and much worse. It's important for me to remember that so thanks for reminding me. I'm very grateful to be in this program, I realize there are many alkies out there who will never know this way of life. Thank you god! Adios.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 12:07:16 AM
I'm Bob and an alcoholic. As already stated, what others think is their business and a story about them. My story is that I can't control me or my use of alcohol when it's in me so I don't put it in me. As long as I know that and my relationship with G~d is current, no problem. I've given my drink problem to G~d and do the maintenance daily on that relationship. Family and all of the people close to me know about my alcoholism and so don't bother with the topic. People who don't know me, but who may be around in social situations, never seem to bring the topic up. Sometimes I have a glass of something or a can of something, but the question just doesn't come up. It's not an issue for me so it doesn't seem to become an issue for others around me. In fellowship, Bob
Member: joan w
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 12:15:50 AM
Hi, Joan, Alcoholic. I still have trouble with my father when I visit him. He is sure that after all my time sober, I should be able to have just one glass of wine. I just laugh and tell him that he would be very unhappy if I woke up the tiger. I am very aware that the person that my family loves today is not the same person as the one who used to try to have just one drink. To be honest, I never really tried to have just one drink. I always wanted as many drinks as it would take to keep me obliterated. And when I was obliterated my behavior was not anything my family wanted to be around.
I heard in a meeting this week a story about a sober member of alcoholics anonymous who visited a friend who owned a vinyard. The friend offered him a glass of wine. The AA responded that his friend did not have enough. The owner of the vineyard said, "You do not understand, I own a whole vineyard." The AA responded, "No, it is you who don't understand. A whole vineyard would not be enough." Ain't that the truth.
Member: Donna
Location: Australia
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 12:20:13 AM
Hello everyone I was 6 days today until a friend (or so called ) couldnt understand,I played him AA tapes, read AA literature..He bought alcohol back from the shop and I was too weak.. I broke.All it took was one person who didnt really care ??? I was so proud to be 6 days until today, Now Im feeling so devastated.. Thanks for listening.Donna xx
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 1:05:23 AM
I don't try to get other people to understand my disease, since half the people in AA don't understand it either. I tell them when you have an allergy to a chemical you react. If the allergy is to strawberries just one causes hives to breakout. I have become allergic to alcohol, just one drink makes me sick and more might kill me. I'll bet every alcoholic can relate to this.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Jeff
Location: Ne.
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 1:11:53 AM
Hi I`m Jeff an Alcoholic. Ya know sometimes i ask my self the same thing. Why can`t i have "JUST ONE"??? Cause i`m an alcoholic thats why. I never wanted "JUST ONE" i always wanted to get so loose that i could`nt feel any thing, no pain, no guilt, no envy, no fear! (Normal drinkers don`t understand this). The next day these feelings would return & off an running i would go. The same thing over & over again day in day out, till i stopped drinking for good.(God willing) They don`t understand I "CAN`T NEVER" have just one.I found out i had to change the people i hung with & the places i went. The people i consider friends today would`nt ask me to drink, cause they know i`m an alcoholic. Good friends are hard to find, but on the other hand a good friend is hard to be, at times. "To drink is to die" this is real to me, this i understand. Thanks ... Jeff
Member: JosueB
Location: California
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 1:18:01 AM
I learned the hard way that just one isnt enough.I stopped drinking for three years and thought that I could start drinking socially again.Now I just keep making excuses to get a drink.I never thought it could happen to me.
Member: Irvin
Location: East Cost
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 2:04:05 AM
Ric here. Alcoholic.
It's easy to understand why people think that you can have just one. Just thinking about it makes me excited: Maybe I can have just one ot two! That thought is coupled with a feeling in my veins, in my mind-anticipation, excitement-and I realize that I don't WANT just one or two. I want to drink many, many, many.
Wierd. I've stopped drinking several times in my young life and always looked around me and saw those that could have just a few and I wanted to be like them. And I'd try. And I'd end up doing stupid eventually while intoxicated. The older I got the more I spaced out doing stupid illegal things, maybe, but I see the pattern. It's been about 10 years since my last brush with the law and here I am again. Completing alcohol courses and saving money to get the car out of the shop that I wrecked. Yet thinking that maybe I may one day be able to control it and have just one still creeps into my mind. Who wants to be a drunk? It would be so much easier to go out and have one or two then staying sober, wouldn't it? Yeah, and maybe my next stupid thing will result in my death or, worse, someone else's. I don't want a drink. I want many drinks. And I can feel it when thinking about drinking that I am one of those who cannot have just one. I want it too badly to have it. It's been a powerful argument many times. One or two won't hurt me. I know that it's not true.
Member: .j.
Location: planet earth
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 2:32:18 AM
Frank, I hope you come back and read all these post...what a bunch of neat sharing! One thought that I would add. H.O.W. to deal and talk about your alcoholism is so clearly laid out in the book. The Big Book has directions for you, the doctor's opinion, explains the disease...so you can explain it to anyone...and then there is the chapter to the wives....Ah heck just read it love... and offer them the chance to read it too... Get some pamphlets at your next face to face meeting...those who love and care for you will not mind reading it at all, if you read it first and tell them...here read this part.. Pass it on...sincerely .j.
Member: Cal
Location: rural
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 5:01:44 AM
Frank, I have no idea how long you are sober,however your question is absurd. when you were drinking, did you understand? now you,re not and you expect everyone to. this is your disease not theirs,so if i may, YOU need to follow the advice of the people that came before you that know. many,too too many in our fellowship DO NOT KNOW. they are not interested IN knowing and though i think that will hamper their chances,it is their right to stay as ignorant as they like. embracing my right to the ignorance got me nowhere FAST. if you listen to 1 thing,listen to "HOW IT WORKS for some previously unknown reason ( I JUST FOUND OUT WHY THEY READ IT)most groups insist on reading it before meetings. it is sooooo painfuly obvious they do not believe what it says,as once the gab starts flowin` they throw it all out the window like they,ve done with the rest of our beautiful program,as they cling with all their might to their right to remain ignorant.Cal
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 6:42:59 AM
((Cal)) The only absurd question is the one left unasked. To defeat my own ignorance I must turn to others. 15days dry now, and definatly not enough to think I know all the answers. However I see that you are correct that I shouldn't expect others to know my problems.
Thanks everyone for sharing, many good posts.
Nobody is perfect, least of all me. I look for improvement the way I look for sobriety. One day at a time.
Strength to all.
Member: Andre L.
Location: Ontario ,Canada
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 7:29:56 AM
I am eleven years sober. And people do not bother me with offering alcohol anymore. But I remember those friends that I drank with, wanted me to stop drinking. Then when I quit some of these friends wanted me to have "just one" or taste some of their drink and I refused. I now believe that I made them ill at ease by not drinking because one of them have the same problem I had 11 years ago and just won't quit. The some others,in my family, would go out and buy non alcoholic wine and soft drink just for me and my wife. This what I call a friend that love me for who I am and not for what I represent. Please do not fall in the trap of drinking. I attend AA meeting instead. Staying sober and getting on with a twelve step program is my most important priority today. It used to be drinking and whatever goes with it....parties, rage,and anxiety, depression, guilt.... when in withdrawal. Andre
Member: mike
Location: west
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 8:21:58 AM
Hello. My name is mike and I am an alcoholic. Can't they understand? Nope! What's my real problem here? How do I feel about them not understanding is my problem. What do I do? Whenever I am desturbed, no matter what the cause, something is wrong with me! Having arrived at this point we are now at step 4 and the gates of freedom. Pick up a pencil. love mike Thank you for starting my day off right.
Member: Christina
Location: Louisiana
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 9:38:44 AM
Good morning all. Just what I needed today. I have been trying to work the program for 2 yrs now. Slipped, no fell, a few months ago and having trouble with a husband understanding. He certainly didn't like me drunk but very much resents my AA involment. I have tried to explain to him I can't drink like him anymore but truly thinks I should be able to controll myself. Don't know what to do. He is a good husband married 25yrs but won't let up on me. I have been drinking with him to just get him off my back but always get out of controll. Can see myself in rehab again if this keeps up. I know he love me but why won't he just give me a break. Even suggested Al-anon to him which went over like a lead balloon. Any other suggestions. Frank thanks for the topic and all who posted.
Member: Brian M.
Location: Japan
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 10:24:49 AM
Hi Brian Alcoholic,
I'm 10 days sober and I have totally lost all trust from my wife. She doesn't understand why AA can do something for me that she couldn't. I've put her through HELL for the past 4 years, and she would love it if I could just turn into a moderate drinking gentleman. Well...that isn't in the cards and I may lose her over it. But, as my sponsor says, take care of your sobriety one day at a time and if your marriage was meant to last, then it will. God bless.
Brian M.
Wherever you go, there you are!
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 12:23:30 PM
I always kept my drinking and using a secret, so my family (I had no friends) never knew how much I was using. Like many other alcoholics I even shopped in different liquor stores, so no one person would know how much I was drinking. It’s no wonder my family was surprised when I ended up in the ICU with acute alcohol poisoning. I tried to describe the pitiful demoralization to my Dad, but I could tell he had no clue, what I was saying. There’s a joke in the rooms about the family on hearing a member was in AA saying “your not THAT bad”, LOL. I love the life I have found thanks to AA. In order to get that, I had to change everything about myself.
Member: Robert S
Location: Scottish Borders in Scotland
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 2:06:27 PM
Hi my name is Robert I am a recovering alcoholic, I have been in recovery now for 10 years, and never regret now, going to a clinic in Peebles Scotland, called Castle Craig, I have a great life now, one day at a time. I have a great family who supported me through out and still do. My son has never seen me with a drink of alcohol. I drank from when I was 12 years old till I was 33 years this time is only a blur to me, it is only now when I am recovering that I realise how precious that memories are. as the memories that I have now since getting into recovery are as clear as crystal and a treasure to me. I am now self employed, and have put myself through college and university. I spent all my drinking life unemployed as I could not work and drink at the same time, work interfered with my drinking time, I needed alcohol to function. I now have the most important thing back, my self respect, and my family. I can always remember when I went into other peoples houses there was something there that was not in mine, I now have that something in my house. a lot has happened to me over the ten years and it would take a long time to type, I only want to say that, I thought at one time ( is this it, is this all there is to life, am I going to go to my grave having to and needing to drink) I know now that that is not it, life can and is fantastic. and all I do is take it one day at a time. and thank god each day for keeping me sober. By the way I also stopped smoking three weeks ago.
Take care
Thank you AA for my life back
Robert From Scotland
Member: John T
Location:
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 2:42:19 PM
I'm John, an alcoholic. I'm only a couple pounds overweight but I've found that declining a drink on the grounds that I'm watching my weight is rarely questioned. It seems more people can relate to that. What's more, it encourages me to eat less for fear of appearing hypocritical. Not a bad idea, either.
Member: Janice P.
Location: Illinois
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 3:04:07 PM
People who aren't alcoholic can't understand that to have one drink sets in motion a cycle tha will destroy us. Sure, I have friends who can't fathom the fact that I can never drink again. But hey, I don't drink like them. My true friends don't care whether or not I drink--they support me in what I am doing. Not drinking alcohol doesn't turn you into a boring person--it is the first step in changing the rest of your life. And hey, if people can't accept the fact that I can't drink or make a big deal out of it, I don't need them in my life. I'm not saying that to be unkind, but my sobriety is Number 1 in my life.
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 3:31:34 PM
My old sponser used to say, "They are not ONE OF US..." Like we were aliens or something. After I was around these halls for a few 24 hours, I understand what he meant. "They" meaning people without the disease could not understand "us."
Take my mother for instance. She helped instill in me the belief that ANY negative, self-injurious habit I had could be overcome with sheer determination, will-power and the desire to LOVE YOURSELF, Kim. Like, she'd tell me to take a bubble bath and have a soothing cup of tea when I felt like going out and drinking and "self-destructing" as she put it.
It took hitting my bottom to realize that NOTHING on this earth will allow me to drink like a non-alcoholic. No amount of self live, self help books, diet, exercise, psychotherapy, etc., will remove the phenomanon of craving and mental obsession I have when I take that 1st drink.
AA works because the halls are filled with "people like us" who understand the way we think and feel. Thank God for AA, or I'd be dead in the bathtub, with a cold cup of tea and a John Bradshaw book on the floor.
Peace
Member: Jen R.
Location: colorado
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 3:50:59 PM
Frank Good topic. I've had many friends ask me the same question. It comes from a lack of understanding for the depth of alcoholism. And I agree with the many comments before - it is not their job to understand, and it is no surprise that they don't. I didn't understand before I stopped what it meant that there is no "just one". Now I just have to patiently explain to my friends that I am different. I make no apology for that. For some friends, I go into detail. For others I don't. It depends on how much you want them to know and how important it is to you that they understand. The people who wont understand or at least respect you, they have their own path to follow. Wish them well and move on. You deserve to surround yourself with people that support your decision - with people that won't try to tempt you. Good luck. Stick to your guns.
Member: MICKEY MC K
Location: N. IRELAND
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 4:52:10 PM
IM MICKEY AN ALCOHOLIC REMEMBER THAT STATEMENT ;GOD COULD AND WOULD IF HE WERE SOUGHT YOU DONT have TO DRINK
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 5:10:18 PM
HI Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. Great topic Frank. And one that is so important that three chapters of "Alcoholics Anonymous" is devoted to it. Chapters 8,9,and 10. "To Wives", "The Family Afterward", and "To Employers" On top of that. I would highly recommend an Alanon program for friends and family who really care for you.
It has been my experience over the years that some of those who "encourage" me to have just one, fully understand the implication of alcoholism. They are merely looking for a drinking partner.
When I first got sober, I was so lonely I went back to the bar and drank cokes. I actually was asked to leave because I was not drinking and it was making others look and their own drinking. I was making them feel uncomfortable.
Over all, I have found that "normies" don't even notice whether I am drinking or not. AA teaches me to not drink in a society where drinking is acceptable. "Alcoholic Anonymous" Page 101. Read from the second paragraph to the end of the chapter.
I go to places that serve alcohol. I go to parties where alcohol is served. In the begining I was careful. I had hard and fast rules. The main one was that I drove by my self or took another alcholic with me. That way if I got uncomfortable, I had a way out. I no longer have to do that. I just do not go to the same type of places that I did when I was drinking alcholically. Big difference.
My last experience was on New Years Eve. I went to a night club for a prime rib buffett and a magic show. There were three other couples seated at out table. None were drinking. Near midnight they passed out splits of Champagne. Our waitress slipped me a can of 7 up and gave me a sly wink.
Friends and family who loved me in spite of my drinking are grateful that I am not drinking today I even have my former wife, my hubby in law and all six of my daugthers back in my life today. Or rather they have put me back into their lives. I am welcome in their homes. They wouldn't even think of suggesting that I just take one.
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: ANONYMOUS26
Location: NH
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 7:20:02 PM
For those who don't understand, there is no explanation.For those who do understand there is no need to explain.BB 3rd ed. pg 20-How many times people have said to us:"I can take it or leave it alone. Why can't he?" "Why can't you drink like a gentelman or quit?"..."Why don't you try beer or wine?""His will power must be weak."....Now these are commonplace observations on drinking which we here all the the time. Back of them is a world of ignorance and understanding. We see that these expressions refer to people whose reactions are different from ours..((BRIAN M,JAPAN))BB chapter 8 TO WIVES Pg 118-Another feeling we "wives" are likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure your husbands alcoholism. We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks what for which we struggled for years.At such momments we forget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could possible have had not any power. BRIAN,you might ask her to read this chapter+9 THE FAMILY AFTERWARDS,might help. Give her time.TIme for you to start practicing the program to the best of your ability,love, patience,kindness,tolerance,acceptance.Bring the program home.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 9:55:48 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares! Welcome newcomers!
Good topic, Frank. Obviously, they don't understand. You can try to explain it to them, but it's not your responsibility to convince them that you can't drink in safety, especially if they can't or won't understand.
Member: Fran M.
Location: michigan
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 10:17:21 PM
Just thinking, when I decided I wanted a real relationship after about 18 years of sobriety I made it a priority that whoever I'd be involved with would never come between me and staying sober. An amazing thing happened and I met my husband at an aa meeting about 4 and a half years ago! Thanks.
Member: GRea
Location:
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 11:57:46 PM
Hi G an alcoholic. This is a great topic and all I have to say is your the only one who needs to know you can't drink everyone else in the world can but you a man with 38 yrs of sobriety once told me that and he has now passed on but he was very sober when he died. I thought alot of him and what he had to offer. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or does. For Donna, Christina and you too Frank you all have today 24hrs at a time. Please try to remember this is a one day at a time program. The doors will not be slammed in your face for slipping or for starting over. To thy own self be true. Christina your not hurting your husband at all but your killing yourself little by little. Good luck to all and pray about it. God loves everyone. Thanks for letting me share and here's to all of our miracles for today. Grea.
Member: Russell H
Location: Australia
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 6:21:37 AM
Thank-you for the gteat topic FrankD, the sharing indicates we all go through it. I was told early that it is mind over matter. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. And guess what, my experience has proven those older sober members to be right yet again. God bless 'em
Member: cal
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 8:46:55 AM
We all at times expect too much from others ,ourselves and GOD. We must be hard on ourselves but in a gentle loving way.GOD makes that possoble, stay close to HIM.
Member: Ro M.
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 9:55:05 AM
Thanks for this topic. I had a long conversation with one of my best friends recently...one of the few who would actually admit to me how worried he'd been about my drinking. He asked me if I would be an alcoholic forever...would there come a time when I could drink normally. I'm only 20 days sober! I told him that I just could not think about not drinking for the rest of my life. All I can deal with is not drinking today. Sometimes all I can deal with is not drinking for the next 10 minutes. Tomorrow is too much to deal with much less, the rest of my life!
My sponsor has asked me to do 90 meetings in 90 days. As a newcomer I am so grateful for everyone who comes to meetings. Thanks to them I can stay sober today.
Member: vikki c
Location: Glasgow Scotland
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 10:45:40 AM
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 12:06:59 PM
Hi, Frank here, Alcoholic.
Hanging on by my fingernails today, almost had/have myself convinced that a couple wouldn,t hurt. Know it's a lie but am used to lying to myself.Can't get to a F2F tonight but this site does help. Thank God tonights obligation is EMT/Ambulance related (spell that as a DRY meeting) otherwise I would lap up the first thing put in front of me.
With gods help I shall remain myself.
Strength to all.
Member: JIM W
Location: San Antonio
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 1:54:56 PM
My name is Jim and I'm an alcoholic. If I dont drink and don't die I will celebrate 11 years sober in AA on the 26th of this month. As you stay sober longer you will realize your sobiety is not dependent on the actions of others, but on your relationship with God. I know that sounds great but God is not sticking a beer in your face. Your true friends will realize in time that you are embarked on a life and death stuggle and soon won't care if you drink or not. Anymore than they would want you to have a Hershy Bar if they knew you are deathly allergic to chocolate (SP?) The few remaining a********* you have to deal with will always be there. This is my opinion and not speaking for AA is that folks that worry about your not drinking are worried about their own and missery loves company.
The Big Book tells us we will have ahost of friens in AA. A promise in the tenth step says will will seldome be interested in booze. If tempted we will recoil as from a hot flame. This will happen to and for you as it has for millions of others.
GO to meetings, dont drink, get a sponsor, work the steps, clean house, trust God, work with others. The true miricle of AA will happen for you. The a******* will become so unimportant.Trust me on this. Thank You
Member: carolyn
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 2:16:57 PM
Hi - Carolyn - alcoholic - never have wanted just one drink in my life - today i simply say No Thank You - when asked why "I am allergic to alcohol" - people most often say "Oh that is awful" - and that is the end of that - another question i run into is - do you still go to meetings or how long will youi have to go - inreturn i ask them do you still go to church or how long will you have to go to church - Today i know i am not what i want to be - i know i am not what i will be - Thank God i am not what i was - thanks for being here - best to all
Member: Nay!
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 5:29:45 PM
Frank D in NJ:
People who have never been through the horrifying despair that chronic alcoholism can put you in, cannot possibly understand why it is that you cannot drink "socially" with them! But in my case I don't ever think I had a "social" drink in my long life of drinking the stuff! I always drank to feel what it could do for me! So I had to "make myself scarce" around these outsiders who drank to have fellowship with one another! After a good long while of staying away from dens of drink, and its people it started to get easier to just check it all off as something they just can't understand, and let it go at that! Perhaps you would do well to explain this to some of the people you know, who don't have the problem you do. You have to put yourself first if you are to succeed in beating alcohol!!
Member: COLLEEN B
Location: IDAHOFALLS, IDAHO
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 6:22:28 PM
colleen alcholic I've been sober for almost 1 yrIt sometimes gets hard. but for the most part, It really is pretty good.
Member: COLLEEN B
Location: IDAHOFALLS, IDAHO
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 6:23:01 PM
colleen alcholic I've been sober for almost 1 yrIt sometimes gets hard. but for the most part, It really is pretty good.
Member: Sean G
Location: NH
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 6:39:26 PM
Hi, Sean, Alcoholic.
One suggestion made to me early on was "change your playgrounds" which was sound advice. I never went out for one drink, I always went out to get drunk so the did the people I drank with. I made new friends in AA. It was easy, people were friendly and put their hand out. They became my new friends and we had a great time together.
I followed many of the suggestions in the posts above, like taking my own car to functions I had to go to. There are some things you have to do like your sisters wedding. Not a good day, but I made it through it. I also stayed away from my family for the first couple of years, things like weekends away and stuff because it was just too hard.
Over the years I made earth friends, those annoying people who wouldn't finish a drink at dinner. After a while and some step work and self study you start to attract healty people. I have a good friend that didn't even know I was an alcoholic for the first 4 years we knew each other. Now she plagues me with questions about 12 step programs. I know what social drinkers are now, I have friends who drink that way. I have friends that I have never seen drunk and have known for 10 or more years. In the old days I didn't know anyone that didn't get drunk for more than 10 hours.
People don't understand the inability to have one drink. And they are right, one drink won't get you drunk, but one of the ones after it will.
Member: Midge S
Location: Michigan
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 7:14:34 PM
Hi, Midge S, alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 44 days. I'm having doubts about whether or not I need to go to meetings, I tend to isolate myself and feel very uncomfortable when I do attend. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.
Member: davidh
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 8:03:57 PM
The most important thing I did today was not taking that first drink. I dont worry to much anymore about people pleasing
Member: Dr. G.
Location: Va.
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 9:11:34 PM
Hello Frank, I am G. an alcoholic. ThankGod that none of my friends would even dream of saying anything to me about having one. In fact I think that they'd have a fit if they heard someone else offer me one. My best friend called the cops on me during my drinking. I was driving down the road the other day and the thought crossed my mind about how good a cold draft would taste. That thought was closely followed by thoughts of all of the pain and misery I caused myself, family and friends. I do like to have the option of saying,"No thanks", not today. It makes me feel that I'm still not being singled out. I also refuse ice cream and cake at parties.
Member: Okaydeano
Location: Marion, Ohio, U.S.A.
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 9:31:35 PM
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Dean.
My old boss was also a close friend. I wasn't around him enough for him to realize just exactly how much I drank. He knew I could really tie one on at company functions and annual meetings. But, I always made sure I was reasonably sober (ha) when around him in a business environment.
When I told him I was an alcoholic the first question he asked me was, "You mean you can't drink the rest of your life? Or eventually will you be able to have one or two?"
I still chuckle. "I'm a drunk," I replied. "There is no such thing as one or two for me. And I don't have to worry about the rest of my life. All I have to worry about is today."
My wife went to an A.A. speaker meeting with me once. After the meeting on the way home she looked at me and said, "I don't understand what you get out of this." My reply was, "Good."
As long as I firmly believe I can't drink even one, and as long as I know and am firmly committed to taking life one day at a time, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, says or does. Period.
As more people see you sober they stop asking. And if they saw you drunk, they probably are darn glad you don't drink even just one.
Best Wishes On Your Journey,
Dean H. okay_deano@hotmail.com
<IXOYE><
Member: Judith. L
Location: Melb. Australia
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 11:22:58 PM
Hi,
Judith Alcoholic/addict, clean and sober today thanks to the grace of God.
Great topic, I once told my partner I was an alcoholic. He accepted it as if he understood. Then oneday as we were talking about AA he said, 'I don't understand', 'Why, can't you just have one drink and stop, all my friends can why can't you'. At first I got really angry because he was comparing all us alcoholics to his 15 or 20 friends whom I doubt he new them all well enough to really know whether or not they may have a problem. I was fuming but then I just thought about and realized he did not understand. So I said YES I can have one drink and stop not a problem, but alas a time will come when I will be angry, in fear or lonely, sad, scared, frightened, confused and low and behold I will have that one drink then ten thousand more and my life will become unmanageable. Therefore I do not ever just have ONE drink. Its not worth the trouble. He accepted that, although I still think he did not understand. But as alot of others have shared, it does not matter if anyone else understands, it only matters that I UNDERSTAND. And that has and still is a big lesson for me.
Thank god and thank you all for being here.
The twelve step program is bringing some sanity into my life.
God bless, Judith
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 11:47:02 PM
Thank you, Frank, for the subject.
I have a friend, Hank, whom I've known for many years. I saw him almost daily for some time prior to my sobriety. He would see me drinking early some mornings. He would see me more or less insanely drunk most of the time. At least a year after my last drink he asked me for a favor, which I did. To thank me he showed up with a six pack of beer and a carton of cigarettes. He had not commented and apparently had not noticed that I had not been drunk nor had he seen me drinking for over a year. I thanked him for the six pack and the cigarettes. I explained that I didn't really feel like drinking a beer, but I did open one for him. Later, I past the beer along to a neighbor.
It is hard, I suppose, for we alcoholics to understand that non alcoholics just really don't give alcohol much consideration.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 12:04:54 AM
Frank, For those who understand,there is no explination necessary,for those who don't understand,there is no explination possible.
Member: MJ
Location: San Diego, CA. USA
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 12:18:25 AM
MJ alcoholic: For me it does not matter if they understand. I need to understand if I am to survive. My experience is they seem to understand more and more as I start to understand and detatch from needing them to understand. What's also important is I know where I can find people that do understand. It's you people. You understand me and accept me. I Thank you for that. Blessings to you who reads this now.
Member: Kathy
Location: Northeast
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 5:29:54 AM
I'm Kathy - an alcoholic = MIDGEn- congratulations on 44 days!! Yes, meetings will help you a great deal. I know it's hard at first - everyone seems to know everyone else. I felt left out and awkward,too. But I went anyway - there was no other place I could go - and I wanted to be sober. After awhile I began to notice other new people come in and started to talk to them. Gradually people got used to seeing me there every week and I began to feel I belonged.
Member: gary b
Location: none of your business
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 8:16:07 AM
the rooms of a.a. may be filled with love,but is an EMPTY love. like "HAVE A NICE DAY" "GOD BLESS YOU". there is much talk and little if any real substance or reality for that matter! i,ll give you an example of just how the a.a. droids operate(the sober time ranges from 90 days to 27 years all with same imprints on their one brain cell) a couple are in the room and they are kind new at this from how it appears. when it comes their time to share, they share that they are homeless and are concerned, as it is suppose to go to RECORD LOWS tonight. the lemmings told them "JUST DON,T DRINK" "SPRING WILL BE HERE SOON" "THIS TO SHALL PASS" i wished that i had the power to twitch my nose and make those morons explode right in front of me and the homeless couple and god. i truly have great great anger at the overwhelming majority of the people (?) that make up todays fellowship. they are mindless droids who lack most emotions not granted to them by the rest of the emotionless ones (SPONSORS OLD FARTS I MEAN TIMERS). i hate going to meetings because after reading how it works they tell ya to do EVERYTHING but what they just read!!!! in we agnostics it says...."lack of power that is our dilema...." IT SHOULD SAY:"LACK OF COURTEST, LACK OF COMMON SENSE, LACK OF TRUE COMPASSION AND LOVE, THESE ARE OUR DILEMAS..." WHEN A GUY WITH 40 + YEARS SAY YA GOTTA STAY STUPID OR AHHHHH SHIT I,m tired of this. I CAN NOT CHANGE HOW 95% f the fellowship thinks or what they believe!!!!!! BUT I TELL YOU THIS TRUTH, PEOPLE ARE DYING TODAY IN OUR FELLOWSHIP FASTER THAN EVER BEFORE AND THOUGH THERE ARE MANY REASONS THE ONLY ONE THAT CONCERNS ME, AND THIS IS!!!! THE TRUTH, A.A.FELLOWSHIP DOES NOT GIVE A. A. INFOTHEY TELL THE NEWCOMER TO DO THINGS THAT DID NOT, DID NOT WORK FOR BILL ,BOB AND THE OTHER FOUNDERS. A. A. IS DYING BUT I,m SURE YOU,LL ALL SAY IF IT IS GODS WILL....YOU MAKE ME WANNA PUKE THE LOT OF YA
Member: Curious
Location: Anywhere
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 8:54:00 AM
And since the only person you can control is you I would like to know what you said or did for that homeless couple.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 9:46:16 AM
HI Folks. Bill here alcoholic from Arizona. I am allergic to alcohol. If I drink it, I break out in spots all over. Hospitals, Jails, Spin-dries, Behind dempster dumpsters, Restaurant roofs, Wrapped around steampipes,Strange womans bedrooms...
Curious?? Do you spell your name with 2 N's? :) if so drop me a line. Been a long time. Will the real Curious please stand up? Gary drop me a line as well. We all can use another friend.
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: gary b.
Location:
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 10:28:50 AM
CURIOUS AT LEAST I HAD THE COURAGE TO TELL THEM MY NAME. YOU ARE A TYPICAL A.A. ZERO!!!!!!!
ON DAYS WHEN I DO NOTHING I DO MORE THAN YOU HAVE, OR WILL EVER DO!
Member: Shianne
Location: USA
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 11:40:42 AM
Alcoholic, I am, grateful type cause I know what is wrong. Even though alcoholism has been around for a long long long time, my personal experience, Frank, is that it doesn't mean everyone understands it; let alone, accepts it. And then there are those "exceptions" - the people that may have my disease too but ohhhhh, how deep the denial goes! It is not up to me to convince others that taking the first drink would get me going. It is only up to me to know and remember this as back in the 70's, I chose sobriety, made a committment to AA. For those that think 'one drink won't hurt', I ask if I was diabetic, would then you say to me: "One candy bar won't hurt me?" And then I pray for 'em. Ignorance is bliss; knowledge is powerful! Thanks for the topic, Frank :-)
Member: Curious
Location: Anywhere
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 11:44:34 AM
IF I DON"T DO NOTHIN I CAN"T DO NOTHING WRONG!!
Member: ninetailedfox
Location: southeast
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 1:15:55 PM
If I ever take that first drink I can't stop until I pass out,blackout or puke out. thank god A.A. showed me I have a choice today,to not pick up! for years I never had that choice. my higher power stands between me and a drink today and if he is with me who could possibly talk me into drink ing. thanks for letting me share
Member: Shianne
Location: usa
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 1:21:06 PM
Hi Curious,
Good to see that you are still around these parts. It's been a long time. I hope all is well with you.
God loves you and so do I. ((((((((((((( Curious ))))))))))))))))
now, I'm blushing but ohhh it feels sooooo goooooood!
Member: Figment
Location: A curious brain
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 2:41:42 PM
Ahhh Shianne, I cannot decieve you, I am not the Curious you have known in the past. (but the hug was !!!!!!!!!!!!!): )
Obviously another has used that moniker here, sorry to disappoint Bill.
Gary, whats in a name, we're all anonamous anyway. I am sorry for baiting you, I hope your anger fades away. Peace.
Since Curious is already known here, You may call me Figment.
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 3:50:38 PM
To Gary B-How nice it must have felt for you to take those homeless people into your home and give them shelter, hot food and spare clothing. I can only imagine how it felt for you to know that you saved another human being from the freezing cold of the streets. I, of course, am assuming that you did this... but you must have. The only alternative would be for you to leave the meeting without them, go home and wrap yourself up in your nice warm bed,never giving the couple another thought. That would make you a self-righteous hipocrite. I am also sure that since you hate (ugly word but you used it) AA meetings so much, you have stopped going to them and are currently searching for your own way to deal with alcoholism. Again, if you have not, you have no right to complain and are only stoking the fires of hatred which are already ablaze inside of you. If you are happy this way, fine;if not,change is not that difficult once you stop resisting it. I would like to offer you a mirror...so that you can take a long,hard look at the person you see in it.
Member: Mary Allen
Location: Austin MN
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 6:39:52 PM
Excellent topic. I have become "disowned" by family members because they do not understand why I can't have "just one" or still go to those stupid meetings after 8 years. They don't understand and never will. I stopped trying to explain alcoholism to them and hoped they would accept me as I am. Alas, they did not. Do they have problems with alcoholism? Possibly. I could have been making them uncomfortable by being around.
As for friends, those who truely care about me may or maynot understand the alcoholism but they do accept me as I am. I work with people who drink on a regular schedule. It is not up to me to decide if they are alcoholic or not. When we are in a social setting, I drink tea or pop. In this day of high price D.W.I.'s there usually isn't to may questions asked.
If someone does ask me to have a drink I explain that if I drink I get a case of the turn-ups. I turn up in a bar, a liquor store, different states, and so on.
Gary - The only person you can be resposible for is yourself. If you don't like the meeting that you attended, start your own. Then it will be "your" type of meeting. Don't complain or whine about the way things are unless you are willing to change them. I attend a meeting that was losing it's focus of studying the big book. I called for a group conscience and we are now back on track.
Happy Valentine's Day to all. I hope that you have love in your life.
Member: Chris K
Location: Hawaiian Rainforest
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 8:58:34 PM
I am reminded about early recovery, and an exchange with a "normie" guy I was dating. He could not, would not understand that I couldn't drink. He couldn't relate. There we were at dinner, a bottle of wine in the middle of the table, and he wanted me to join him in a drink, to prove I was normal. Wow, I really liked this guy & wanted his approval. I think for him, it was no big deal, but for me, it was a pivotal point in my recovery. In refusing the drink, I said YES to my recovery. We stopped dating soon after, but I am not sorry. At the time it seemed like the end of the World, but of course it wasn't. I also wanted to respond to Gary B, it's interesting that my experience with the fellowship has been so different from yours. I have gotten practical help and love. I am so grateful that I am able to see beyond the human flaws of others in AA, it's really been the only solution for me. Where else would I go?
Member: Michele M.
Location: Scranton, Pa.
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 10:32:38 PM
Hi All, Michele, alcoholic here. b.b. tells me that if I thoroughly follow their path, there will come a time when I will" cease fighting anyone or anything, including alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned." (pg. 84) This has proven true for me, but what I must rember is when that happens, right after the first nine steps. "It is our belief that any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure." (pg.101) But again, this for me, was a result of working the steps. In the beginning I did have to shield myself from alcohol, I just don't believe that would have worked for long. I also need to remember that "Love and tolerance for others is our code", and that is what Bill W. and Dr. Bob believed. Thanks again to all for being here, and God Bless! Peace&Love,
Member: Peter T.
Location: Hilversum, The Netherlands
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 4:41:47 AM
Hello,
I am Peter and alcoholic. Great topic. People who are not alcoholics just can't understand. That is why we have AA and go to AA meetings. We (alcoholics) need a refuge, a place where others can understand us. This is a bond we share with other alcoholics. They may be people we would never associate with normally, but because they are alcoholics we share and instant bond. That is why when I go to a meeting anywhere in the world I get a feeling of instant relief.
Also it is why 12 programs with counsellors who are recovering themselves are so effective. There is no 12 step recovery programs in Holland and I am trying to get some started.
BTW when I first got sober I 'fired' all my friends and relatives and just hung with recovering alcoholics. With some sober time, I re-evaluated all those relationships, rekindled the ones worth keeping and let the others drop. I got rid of the good-time companions and bar flies.
Thanks for letting me share. neuweg@myealbox.com
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 8:09:58 AM
I'm Fred, a grateful recovering alcoholic: Thanks for the topic, Frank. Early in sobriety, I used to worry about what people would say and what they would think when I turned down alcohol. Over time, I came to realize they really don't care, and it was more me than them that was making a big deal out of it. When pressed to drink now, I just say, "How much do you have in the house? The last time I took a drink, I had 2 cases of beer and a pint of cognac." That usually shuts them up. This weekend marks 23 years sober for me. On Sunday morning, Presidents' Day weekend, 1979, I asked God to take over and through a miracle, I have not had to drink since. My gratitude list grows longer each day as God points out to me the wonderful people and events in my life. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Pat H.
Location: right here
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 8:40:27 AM
Hi,I'm Pat;recovering alcoholic. I want to thank at least one person on this site this week for reminding me of the insanity of my disease.As far as people in my life not accepting my "problem" some of them don't understand but accept me anyway. As for my husband,I told him if I had diabetes,you wouldn't tell me not to take insulin would you? Well,I don't have that disease,I have THIS disease,and meetings are my medicine. Did he understand? No, not at all, but he hasn't tried to interfere with me going to meetings since then. I think that is the best he can do and that's OK. Stay sober everybody.it gets better a day at a time.
Member: OLD TIMER
Location: picking your brain
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 10:32:08 AM
GARY B,I didn't study the books to learn how to get recovered to become a doormat for some young whipper-snapper, to walk all over or dump the crap of their imagination on. I wouldn't sit and take your b#^!!$!t at a f2f meeting,not going to take it here either. You sound like the typical alkie extremist,all or nothing. All love or no love. All truth or no truth.Be all a sponsor is supposed to be or don't be one at all.Be a group that that does all the principals,traditions,concepts perfectly or don't be one at all. For one concerned with the truth seems like your "great anger" has got the best of ya,blinded you what is going on in between,as others have pointed out. In spite of the lack of conformity to principals,traditions, concepts, on the individuals part or the groups part,people are finding the hope,encouragement an support they need to make a begining, as I did. How far they go from there will depend upon their willingnes,earnestnest an effort to work the program as described in the BB+12&12 to the best of their ability with or without the help of the "fellowship","sponsorship",or "group". "YOU TEACH BEST WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN MOST" More to come WHIPPER-SNAPPER.
Member: your dear friend
Location:
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 10:44:42 AM
DEAR STEVE B. ONLY A LEMMING LIKE YOURSELF WOULD SPEAK OF MY ANGER. THAT IS WHAT THE HERD WANTS YOU TO DO, JOIN THEM AND POINT FINGERS AT ANYONE THAT IS!!!!DOING SOMETHING SPIRITUAL AND OF GOD, AS YOU ALL SIT AND "JUST DON, T DRINK" even if your ass falls off!yuk yuk. I got a news flash for you jerkoff, on a day when i do nothing,i do more than you will in a lifetime. there is no need for me to SEARCH for a way todeal with my alcoholism moron. the program which i m certain you think is the meetins "MEETING MAKERS MAKE IT" i bet you,ve said that a few thousand times. the sad thing i bet you believe it. for me as for the small majority in a.a., my alcoholism has been dealt with!!!"BUT YOU NEVER GRADUATE AYUK AYUK" all i need do is what i suggest to anyone interested in RECOVERING "YOU NEVER RECOVER, YOUR ALWAYS RECOVERING"that is your belief right snotball. you along with the rest of the lemmings that follow blindly off the cliff have this perverted idea that because someone gets angry, that someone curses or gets upset "THEY NEED TO LOOK AT THEMSELVES" I HAVE HAD A MAJOR CHANGE AS THE RESULT OF FOLLOWING "THE PROGRAM" AS DIRECTED, AND IF CARING ABOUT PEOPLE OTHER THAN WHETHER THEY DRINK OR NOT MAKES ME A BAD GUY AND UNLIKED BY MAGOTS LIKE YOU<ALL THE BETTER!!! I HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR HORSESHIT WHEN PEOPLES LIVES ARE ON THE LINE! SURE I<M ANGRY, BUT AT LEAST WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR OR GO TO BED AT NIGHT I KNOW I DID ALL!!! I COULD TO BE OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS(NOT JUST DRUNKS) PICTURE THIS PUNK( MIDDLE FINGER FULLY EXTENDED IN YOUR FACE) GOT IT? GOOD
HAVE A NICE DAY ASSHOLE
Member: GARY
Location: right here
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 10:52:03 AM
OLDFARTER WHERE DO YOU LIVE I, D LOVE TO GO TOE TO TOE WITH SOMEONE SO OLD THEY FART DUST! BRING ON YOUR BEST OLDFARTER, I,LL BE WAITING. DON,T FORGET TO CHANGE YOU DIAPER NEXT TIME YOU COME HERE CAUSE YOU BE A STANKY NASTY OLDMAN
Member: TO THE OLD FART YOU
Location: YOU AND STEVE ,,/,,
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 11:07:28 AM
HEY DO YOU SMELL THAT? WOW DOES THAT STINK WHAT IS IT? IT,S AWFUL
"WHAT YOU SMELL FOLKS HAS NO RIVAL IN ITS SMELL IT IS THE SMELL OF DEATH THAT HAS FILLED THE ROOMS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THROW IN A FEW OLDTIMERS, A BUNCH OF IGNORANCE A DOSE OF APATHY AND YOU COME UP WITH A.A.2002
Member: Bug
Location: up your ass
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 11:22:04 AM
Watch it Gary, at least half your wit is showing.
I see you don't say how long you've been sober, today would be a good day to start.
On days I don't remember I've done more than you ever will!
Member: P.S.
Location: .
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 11:24:02 AM
Your obvious spirituallity just AWES me.
Member: g.b.
Location:
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 12:43:09 PM
AS IT SHOULD
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 3:45:01 PM
My last initial is R not B. The fact that you can't take the time to read straight or construct a complete sentence, verifies your unwillingness. Unlike you I am not full of anger. The old me would take back the hipocrite comment and tell you what I really thought of you, right before I mopped the floor with you. Thankfully, today I do not feel anger but pity for you. You hate yourself so much and when you are asked simple reasonable questions about how you dealt with these obviously needy people, you're response is to curse and stoop to the mental level of a child who is crying for attention. You keep saying that on a day you do nothing...blah blah blah.It is obvious that is exactly what you are doing,nothing.
Member: Ann
Location: Ozzie
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 3:45:50 PM
Hi all I'm Ann and an alcoholic. I believe partners go through a grieving process and a lot of fear about their loved one. How can their life be manageable if yours is so uncertain? It is also in our nature that we wish our partners to understand us - sometimes they dont. Accept the differences and accept your partners differences. In the early days, dont make it such a big issue between you both. It doesnt matter if he or she doesnt understand. Keep the peace. Great topic
Member: AN OLD TIMER
Location: TO WHIPPER-SNAPPER
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 6:12:06 PM
WAAaaa,WAAaa,Waaa,sound like a little WHOOSIE.Geeeez all this crap,shit,bullshit talk makes me feel like gitting ah game ah cow flap bingo tagithr.Ya wan ta be one of thar numbars thar whoosie. well shud go load up taa cow. HAY,I'd bet if ya rented yasef outfer one of der games yer wood make evbudie a winnar,,nah wouldit be as purty ah thang ta eyebol.
Member: Ian R
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 7:14:31 PM
My name is Ian and I am an alcoholic. Im fed up with life, I just relapsed for the 15 milliionth time and I cant picture living without getting high in some fashion. I mean, I wake up in the morning and if i know im not getting high or drunk that day then I just go through the motions until the next time I can. I think about it all the time and im serious life doesnt seem worth while without alcohol or drugs. I feel dead unless im high. I need help badly, please someone who knows my situation help me out.
Member: Gene K
Location: New Mexico
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 8:12:27 PM
My name is Gene, and I am an alcoholic. I have sworn off alcohol in the past and yet found myself in jail, in danger, or in dutch with someone again because I started drinking again. But today that doesn't happen anymore. The difference between the times I tried to stop and couldn't and the time I stopped was this. I wanted to stop hard enough that I was willing to do what they suggested. They suggested that I listen to sober alcoholics as often as I could. That I should hang around before and after the meetings and find out who was the happiest, most admirable person there and really listen to that one. And if I found that I wanted to be like that person, I should ask him or her to be my sponsor and do pretty much what he or she suggests. That's all I did to get started.
Member: OLD TIMER
Location: TO WHIPPER-SNAPPER
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 8:28:11 PM
Your words'"I truly have great anger at the overwhelming majority of people(?)that make up todays fellowship. They are mindless driods who lack most emotions not((GRANTED))to them by the rest of the emotionless ones, old farts,old timers". Is that your problem,you think that somebody was suppose((GRANT))you some special emotions that better equips you to be such an authority on AA problems.Well you better keep looking,I don't think you got what you were suppose get yet to do the job properly.Hang in there, I'm sure you'll find someone.But hey,I will agree with you on a few points,like AA meetings being AA meetings in name only,meeting only the barest, mearest,minimal needs of the fellowship.And that a lot of sponsors are sponsors are sponsors in name only ,same for a lot of people in service work.Hang in there kid, if you've got a GOD and read the books you'll do alright.
Member: Margie P
Location: Long Island
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 9:56:27 PM
Margie, Alcoholicand drug addict. I know how you feel Ian. This disease wants to kill us. It does not finish until it has us at our knees. Are you at your knees yet? Hit them, pray for the strength to go on, and go to a meeting. You were very honest and you keep on coming back. Take things as they come, first things first and worry about the rest when it comes. Get sober, take it one day, one minute at a time. Don't sweat the samll stuff, turn that over, turn it all over to God and do your best with what is in front of you. You can do this Ian, you are worth every once of sobriety you have accomplished and you can do more, just be easy on yourself, and trust that the program works, if you work it, like it is written in the Big Book. god bless you, you are in my prayers, and keep coming!!!
Peace to all, Margie
Member: Another Oldtimer
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 12:26:51 AM
Trade phone numbers and take care of your diferences in private for crying out loud..Lets get bake to the topic!
Member: Shianne
Location: usa
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 1:00:18 AM
okay Figment, but you are the same one I know, Curious :) if we are painstaking about working the aa program, we all change little by little one day at a time.
((((( figment-curious )))))
Member: DP
Location: Boston
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 1:51:27 AM
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 2:59:59 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Whenever I see this discussion about whether or not I can have just one, I think back to what my wife once said to me about my drinking. She told me the only time she could remember me saying no to a drink, was if I misunderstood the question. For me, if I take that first drink, I don't see the glass as 1/2 empty, I don't see the glass as 1/2 full, I see the glass as not enough. I am a firm believer that once we have that first 24hrs under our belts, we then know it can be done. For me to pick up a drink today, is DELIBERATELY FORGETTING that I am an ALCOHOLIC Thru the Grace of God and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous I have enjoyed continous sobriety since the 23rd of November 1987. I am also a firm believer that there isn't any alcoholic today, who ever again has to pick up that first drink for the rest of their lives, ONE DAY AT A TIME, IF THEY DON'T WANT TO. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Pete B.
Location: Indy
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 8:12:13 AM
Pete here ...alcoholic ...back to the topic at the top of the responses. Of course people, family and friends don't understand! They are not one of us and they will never know. I, like Jack B.(Palo Alto)got sober in the same time frame, was probably stupid to think my sisters would understand but when the "oh, you poor dear" came forth (gag me), I realized this isn't going to work. So I shut up and haven't told amyone from that day forth. Friends???? Somehow they faded away ... so I have to ask myself... were they true friends??? ...nope!!!! As time goes by Frank, you'll understand this. For the time being, just make up excuses when challanged. It comes with the "turf" lad. It's part of being sober, and it's "small potatoes" when you stop and think. One day at a time ... that's all you have to focus on. God bless!!!!
PeteB.
Member: Liz S
Location: massachusetts
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 8:39:24 AM
hi all, liz, alchoholic. great topic cause it really involves the practical magic of staying sober a day at a time. most people in my life understood pretty well that i didn't drink "like them" and were/are supportive of my 12-step recovery. however, i got sober in paris some years ago and most "civilian" french people don't get it. i learned to just say "no" and avoid situations where that wouldn't go over well. my social life began to revolve around my sober friends, both french and expatriate. and today, here in new england, it's the same. other people don't need to understand us, we need to understand us and to show an example of what sobriety and Program can be. have a good 24 you all.....
Member: Sharon Frey
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 10:22:04 AM
Good topic, After 23 years, I have changed my life so much that I am not asked why I don't drink, those who know me are fellow members of AA my family has died in the last 2 years so those questions are no longer, and my only son and family, know why I don't drink and they are sure that I am not tempted at their home. I have found a new family in the AA program and it feels good to know, that when the chips are down, they are there. In Portland, Or, I am introduced by fellow members as "MOM" It took a lot of years just saying that I don't drink as I am alergic to alcohol.. brake out in spots all over. I have never been pushed to explain what that means.. I can truly say, that AA is my way of life and I am so grateful for it. Love and prayers, Sharon Frey
Member: Figment
Location: Imagination
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 11:03:24 AM
Shianne, I'll accept your friendship and love on any level I can get it, I NEED every friend I can get these days, however, I was just being honest, born to a different mother, son of a different father, no relation to your friend of the past.
I don't deny my friends, I would be honored to count you amongst them.
Member: vince p
Location: michigan
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 2:02:16 PM
what ever happened to aa being a fellowship?/
Member: Mark W.
Location: near the BIG croquet wicket
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 2:07:25 PM
I guess that those who have been sober for a while have it easier Frank. It becomes easier to get to the truth with ourselves and others. My typical reply to "Why don't you have a drink?" is "I've already had my lifetime supply. I am an alcoholic." Never had anyone try again after that, AND it is the truth as I see it.
gary b. , you bring feelings of nothing but sorrow from me. I had a very similar attitude, and could not quit drinking. I took a suggestion I heard, FINALLY, "Take the cotton out of your ears, and put it in your mouth.", until I too could speak without the pain rushing out toward others. Unfortunately this pain often sounds like anger, but it comes from fear. Again, I am sorry for you. I hope those homeless people made it, as I am somehow sure YOU did not help them.
Mark W. LMW007@aol.com
Member: sam w.
Location: midwest
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 2:51:15 PM
When I first Got sober I ran into the same trouble as you- everyone thought that after a bit of time I would get a handle on this and be able to drink or not as any normal person. Well, I'm a person who suffers from the disease of alcoholism and as a sick person it is my responsibility to seek treatment to get better. That's why I go to A.A., pray, work the steps and work with a sponsor and new people. I take all of this very seriously because it is life and death to me even after 13 years. I feel sorry for those of you who don't treat this meeting the same as you would if we were sitting in a room together- the Big Book tells us that words have the power to kill- I think that holds true no matter what forum we share in. Thank God your seeking a solution Frank! My experience is that I had to get busy with a sponsor working the steps so that my nonalcoholic friends and family didn't kill me!
Member: GUESS WHO MORONS
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 3:59:12 PM
HEY PETEY BOY, Regardless of your last initial R or B YOU are still one giant sack of useless information. You and you type are the reason guys like FRANK aint got a fair shot at recovering. YEAH FRANK, listen to these morons and "make excuses" "it,s part of being sober" SHIT like this dweeb is feeding you is not only poison straight from the devil,it is NOT part of anything A.A.s that have recovered would suggest My suggestion to you FRANK my brother is to stay off this site and find a group of alcoholics who have RECOVERED from this killer disease and ask them to show you THE WAY OUT! These morons are going to kill you,then stand back and say"HE MUST HAVE WANTED TO DRINK MORE THAN HE WANTED TO STAY SOBER" ANGRY? YOU BET YOUR ASS I,m ANGRY!!! I HAVE SEEN COUNTLESS PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE OF THE POISON "THE FELLOWSHIP HANDS OUT THESE DAYS" VINCE P! TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION.IT GOT SO FULL OF ITSELF!!! IT KILLED THE PROGRAM AND A SHIT LOAD OF PEOPLE AS WELL. IF I WAS YOU FRANK I, D RUN LIKE HELL AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN TRULY HELP YOU WITH A. A. GOOD LUCK FRANK
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 4:21:40 PM
I would like to thank each and every person who took time to answer my question. I find that your support has been tremendously helpful this past week, and I shall continue to lean on you, as well as attend face to face meetings, in the days ahead.
Gary, I'll read the book, make meetings with recovered members, and stay here too. I need the help in whatever form I find it. Perhaps I'll run into you at a meeting sometime. I think I would like that. You're a little abrasive, but really seem to care.
I am, in fact, enjoying the many personalities I am finding now. This is also new to me.
God Bless
Strength to all.
Member: Lyla D aka ldragonreader@aol.com
Location: Polk City, Fl
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 4:47:35 PM
IAN-go to a doctor and get a good physical, go to a meeting or two or three or one hundred and listen to what is said, don't compare drinking stories, you know-I didn't do that or I'm not that bad, yet. Listen with your heart and don't drink or use-even if your ass falls off-strap it on and get it to a meeting.
MIDGE-When I first went to meetings, I hid against the wall and turned away from people. Then this old fart, he had been a teacher at my high school and knew me, came over and started to hand me all these little pieces of paper with sayings and poems on them. He also gave me his phone number on a round piece of paper and said if I needed to talk, I could get "Round tuit" and call him. He also told me that I should say HI to one other person at the meeting and introduce myself. Before you know it I had friends in the fellowship and wasn't as isolated as before.
My first sponsor calls alcoholism a disease of isolation and the best way to combat isolation is to go to meetings and get to know people.
FRANK-I guess you have figured out that those folks don't understand. If any of them smoke, take their cigarettes away from them and say-YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ONE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! Then tell them that you chose not to drink and to back off and let you make that choice. By the way, don't give them back their cigarettes and see what they do. They will leave you alone, believe me. That's what I had to do to some of my family, of course, those are the ones that probably need AA.
Member: Just Curious
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 4:57:15 PM
Gary b. - Would you be posting as SLIM SHADY on the Coffee Pot??? Similar words - similar dictation - you're one screwed up dude.
If you hate AA so much, why are you here?
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 5:09:32 PM
I agree...back to the topic because I have better things to do with my time than try to decipher Gary's self-inflicted pre-teen angst. So for the record, keep talking but with your abhorrant personality,the only one listening is yourself.(or you could take your own advice and stay off this site,but then where would you get your attention from? Not me anymore.) I for one have been encouraged by Frank. I am glad to see that someone is serious about recovery and is using every outlet possible for help. Also Jack is right,to pick up a drink today would be a deliberate action. Once the detox period is over and we are no longer physically dependant on alcohol,the choice becomes ours whether or not we want to stay quit. If I ever picked up a drink again,it would be because I wanted to.
Member: Paul
Location: SoCal
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 5:50:25 PM
I am looking for an essay by John Steinbeck on AA. I would like to get my hands on it and I don't know the name... If anyone knows the name or has an electronic copy, please let me know...
givmesom2@hotmail.com
Member: GARY
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 6:26:19 PM
FRANK B., Very rarely am I at a loss for words as I,m sure you can imagine.But when I saw your post I braced myself for the worst,if you were to respond at all,and was deeply moved at your words to me. Also as you may imagine or have seen, my words are more often than not,misinterpreted. I do however understand how and possibly why that happens. But I just wanted to say that it was very perceptive of you to pick up on the fact that I genuinely DO CARE. As far as being abrasive,I,ll let that slide(ONLY KIDDING). I come off that way as Iam a very passionate person,strong in my convictions and unwavering on THE TRUTH.Some say it is MY TRUTH.They are among the morons,as I have only experience to share with THE TRUTH. I have found also through PAINFUL experience,that MY TRUTH means little,if anything next to THE TRUTH. I wish you well on your journey FRANK,and I thank and commend you for not jumping to conclusions as most do.It is quite possible that I will learn much from you my friend! If you are comfortable leaving your e mail address,I would enjoy speaking with you.
GARY
Member: dear steve r n b
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 6:31:15 PM
NO STEVE,JACK IS WRONG,AS ARE YOU!!!YOUR FANCY WORDS CAN,T HIDE YOUR TRUE IGNORRANCE OF THE TRUTH. BUT PLEASE KEEP COMING BACK.
Member: mike
Location: georgia
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 7:21:00 PM
its funny that i happened along this WWW tonite.... this topic is absolutely appropriate and certainly a good one. i have been drinking for a long time. and in and out of meetings. i thought that i would be able to control things if i only drank once in awhile at social functions.. you know, one or two drinks. i thought that i had control... WRONG!! IT had control. i finally realized that recently. of course at some significant loss, but... it usually comes to that, doesnt it? i cant have even one.. if i could then i wouldnt be here! people wont ever realize that.. and that is something that you and i will just have to learn to accept. they dont have the disease so i dont expect them to fully understand. just like you wouldnt fully understand if they had some potentially life threatening disease. i hope that i have learned this lesson and i plan on living by it... one day at a time.... and for ME! i cant control it... not even one.
Member: Robert S.
Location: VA
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 11:19:34 PM
TO GARY: "Few of us are any longer afraid of what any newcomer can do to our reputation or effectiveness. Those who slip,those who panhandle,THOSE WHO SCANDALIZE,THOSE WITH MENTAL TWISTS,THOSE WHO REBEL AT THE PROGRAM,those who trade on the AA reputation-all such persons SELDOM HARM AN AA GROUP FOR LONG. Some of these have become our most respected and well loved. Some have remained to TRY OUR PATIENCE, sober nevertheless. Others have DRIFTED AWAY. We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces but as teachers. They oblige us to cultivate patience,tolerance and humility. We finally see that they are only people SICKER than the rest of us..." Thank you Gary for teaching me that some are DEFINETLY SICKER THAN OTHERS.
Member: Robert S.
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 11:21:23 PM
That quote is from As Bill Sees It pg. 28. Doubt you've ever heard of it.
Member: RECOVERED
Location:
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 11:36:01 PM
Pg.67 BIG BOOK. We avoid retaliation or argument.We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do,we destroy our chance of being helpfull.We cannot be helpfull to all people,but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and evry one.Pg.164 BIG BOOK.The answers will come,if your own house is in order.But obviously you cannot transmit something you havent got.Pg.25BIG BOOK.If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were,we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution.
Member: Robin A
Location: Fl
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 12:56:08 AM
Paul, I believe that if you post your request for the John Steinbeck article on the Coffee Pot site you will get your request from our very own personal "Link Getter" named Glen-probably soon than later too!!!
(((Lyla))) My buddy and pal... I knew that man (((Dwight))) too!!! He was a true inspiration to all of us here in Central Florida. I too got a ton of those teeny, tiny slips of paper from him. He is sorely missed by alot here.
p.s. How dare *g* you call him "An old fart"!!!!!!!! But knowing you, he probably called himself that-as you are too nice to do that! (please notice the brown-nosing done here by your ?Grandchild-sponsee? LOL!)
As to the topic of the week... I recently watched the movie "The Lost Weekend" (a suggestion from my sponsor-they are all over me like flies are to sh*t!!! ROTFLMAO!~well so much for the brown-nosing) a very poetic line told to the man (lack of memory for the guys name-CRS!) as he was BEGGING the Bartender for "Just One"...
"One is too many and a thousand is not enough"
For me-I cannot have the first one-I would be off and running as that "ONE" would get my insane phenomena of "craving" on a roll.
Thanks for letting me ramble...hope a bit of this makes sense to somebody.
Member: Also Recovered
Location: the 4th dimension
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 2:09:22 AM
"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentments leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these,do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic...this business of harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit..If we were to live,we had to be FREE OF ANGER. The grouch and the SUDDEN RAGE were not for us. Anger is the dubious luxery of normal men but for us alcoholics it is POISON." pg.66 Imagine that...and all this time you've been using your Big Book as a coaster...
Member: Misha B
Location: Dallas
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 8:40:15 AM
Cal, just wanna say thanks - that little post you made has made all the difference for me today.....the one about how we expect too much from ourselves, God and others. I needed to hear. God Bless.
Member: GARY
Location:
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 3:05:55 PM
JUST WANTED TO LET YOU MORONS KNOW I READ YOUR POSTS AND LOVED THEM ALL JUST CURIOUS<CURIOSITY----------DID IT EVER CROSS YOUR NARROW MIND THAT I MAY BE "ONE SCREWED UP DUDESS?HMMMMMMMMMM ROBERT S SOME MAY BE SICKER THAN OTHERS THEN THERE IS YOU!!!!!!!HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YOU SELFRIGHTEOUS PIECES OF HUMAN WASTE SIT AND JUDGE ME????IN THE NAME OF AS BILL SEES IT OR THE BIG BOOK?AND DON,T SEE THE HYPOCRICY YOU PHONEY SCROTOM SACS.YOU COULD NOT BE HONEST IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT THE IRONIC THING IS IT DOES!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU AFTER YOU RELAPSE YOU PHONIE ___________ HOPE YOU,RE DOING WELL FRANK, JUST USE THAT DISCERNMENT GOD BLESSED YOU WITH SO YOU CAN WEED OUT THE SO CALLED WINNERS FROM THE WIENERS.
Member: Margie
Location: L.I.
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 3:14:09 PM
Gary, I am sorry you are so angry with everyone. I pray that you find peace and love in your heart. You are right, we are hypocrites if we can't tolerate others. That is what this program is teaching us. But we also don't need to tolerate assaults. Pointing out others faults is not following the steps and priniples. We all need to stay on our own side of the street when it comes to judgements, let God take care of the rest. I am praying for you Gary, if you can't find love and understanding in AA, then certainly you are not looking for it.
Best Wishes, Margie
Member: News Flash
Location:
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 3:32:28 PM
You? One screwed up dude? Gee, we hadn't noticied...
Member: Gage
Location: Louisiana
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 4:39:14 PM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Frank. I think the answer to your question may be: no, they can't understand. Neither could I for the longest time, because I went through a number of approaches to my problem including a period of time when I was trying in earnest to control my drinking. Nothing worked because of the fact that if I drink, any amount at all will trigger what our book calls the phenomena of craving. That's hard enough for a full-blown alcoholic to understand and accept. Probably, then, it's impossible for someone who's never experienced it to understand. My wife, for instance, is delighted that I don't drink now. But I still don't think she understands entirely why I did drink the way I did. It all seems pretty nuts to her, and in a way she's right -- I am sort of nuts.
Member: dempsy d
Location: isle of wight
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 5:59:45 PM
Hello Frank,I struggled with other people wanting me to drink even though Iwas a complete mess when drunk,maybe my drunk friends needed someone worse than them.I been dry 5 years now.I had to move away from my sister ,she needed me to be drunk.I had to put myself MY SOBRIETY first. It has been areal gift to me to find this site.AA saved my life. az Bill u made me laugh like a drain ! I was scared of not drinking at first .The thought of where one drink would lead me is awful shame ridden hell. dont matter what they think Frank,what did u think and feel after the last drunk? with love dempsyx
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 7:09:41 PM
I don't normally give an e-mail address, but there are some I would like to converse with if they are interested,(you are one of these Gary), and possibly some of you would like to converse with me, so I set up an E-mail account just to give out at this site. Still looking for help folks. Thanks a bunch.
Drystep@aol.com 19 days
Strength to all.
Member: Frank
Location:
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 7:11:03 PM
Sorry "19 days" is NOT part of address.
Member: TO FRANK
Location:
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 7:58:17 PM
FRANK, I will most certainly be in touch soon.
GARY
(you have taken a great risk in giving out an e mail as you will undoubtebly be overwhhelmed by the herd.but i am quite certain you will not be sorry once we speak,as things are not always as they appear on the surface!)
Member: concerned
Location:
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 9:38:11 PM
God help you Frank while you are in the company of the devil.
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 11:43:36 PM
My biggest devil came from a vodka bottle!
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 12:51:42 AM
and this devil will take you right back to it but hey...go ahead trade one evil for another.
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 3:18:03 AM
Nice quotes but I would choose this one from 1949 to sum up the week..."The most heated bit of letter writing can be a wonderful safety valve-providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby."
Member: gary
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 5:51:13 AM
frank r
as you can see,the loving,nonjudgemental, tolerant,forgiving,accepting,sober fellowship of a.a. has wholeheartedly shown their TRUE COLORS in their well wishes for our meeting. our literature does mention a number of things that the lemmings have typed into this site.but iwas their own words that showed both of us exactly what they have to offer 100%. i on the other hand have said offered little of myself here due to the fact that i have seen the most personal,beautiful,spiritual words taken and twisted and use against the newcomer by the very same loving a.a.ers on these pages. i came here to offer you ONE THING,and that is a proven way out of the problem you describe.it is simple(but not always easy)but unlike what worked for this one and that oneTHIS IS GUARENTEED.regardless of what the herd TELLS YOU I will show you! THEN YOU DECIDE THE PATH TO FOLLOW.just sit back and watch them tip their hand.see you soon friend
Member: gary
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 5:51:17 AM
frank r
as you can see,the loving,nonjudgemental, tolerant,forgiving,accepting,sober fellowship of a.a. has wholeheartedly shown their TRUE COLORS in their well wishes for our meeting. our literature does mention a number of things that the lemmings have typed into this site.but iwas their own words that showed both of us exactly what they have to offer 100%. i on the other hand have said offered little of myself here due to the fact that i have seen the most personal,beautiful,spiritual words taken and twisted and use against the newcomer by the very same loving a.a.ers on these pages. i came here to offer you ONE THING,and that is a proven way out of the problem you describe.it is simple(but not always easy)but unlike what worked for this one and that oneTHIS IS GUARENTEED.regardless of what the herd TELLS YOU I will show you! THEN YOU DECIDE THE PATH TO FOLLOW.just sit back and watch them tip their hand.see you soon friend
Member: Frustrated.
Location: Northeast, U.S.
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 7:32:07 AM
I just wanted to hear some experience, strength, and hope but now my morning has been tainted with a "bar fight" online.
I hope it gets better on this site.