Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Ft Myers via Key West FL
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 9:13:09 AM
Hi Family Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering alcholic. I just can't believe that I am first again. Don't know if it is because I have to be reminded every day that I am an alcholic, and sometimes life can be unmangable, but I have to keep gratitude in my life for a real good friend of mine always says a grateful heart is a sober heart. I am just so gratful for the program of AA it has given me a life I never knew excisted, as I always thought that if you wanted happiness and friends you had to drink, but I had a real eye opener coming into the rooms af AA. With the help of my HP and the family of AA I will have 6 yrs in a few months, and I owe it all to all of you, so I guess I am so very gratful to all of you. Thank you ALL. I Love You. Charlie Darling kwduke_1999@yohoo.com
Member: MB
Location: I.L.
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 9:30:44 AM
Hi, My name is Magrit and I'm an alcoholic.I have been in ad out of AA for seven years, drinking the entire time. I never stopped, so I never had what anyone would call a relapse. When I first heard that word "relapse" that was music to my ears. I thought "wow!" I guess everyone does it soI guess I can too! It's part of the program." How wrong I was! What I have learned after finally hurdling over step one was a relapse could and no doubt would, kill me. All I would need to do is pick up that first drink. My life does not have any space left in it for that poison. A.A. has saved my life and God willing (me too!) it will continue to do so. With thanks to ALL! Magrit
Member: Kim V
Location: Mars Hill, NC
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 9:52:14 AM
Hi Kim here alcoholic. I guess the subject is gratitude and I have much to be grateful for. I have 6 1/2 years clean and sober thanks to my HP and these rooms. Before that I was doing a 5 year sentence in a Fla. prison on drug charges and was seperated from my daughter for 5 years. Now my daughter 11 and my 100 year old grandmother live with me. I have a job and just bought a home. It is like my active drinking days are another life time. These meetings help remind me that this is a progressive diease just waiting for me to let it back into my head. I still have dreams about relaspe but I don't have the daily compulsion anymore and that alone is much to be grateful for. I have taken antidepressants for years as I am bi-polar and usually my depression is mild and my main problem is being manic but the last few months I have found myself severly depressed and would like to hear people's experience, strength and hope about this. Thanks for being here. Still Powerless Kim V
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 11:01:40 AM
Hi! I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. Very grateful to be alive and sober today. I can only guess where I would be at today if it were not for AA, but the course I was on makes me believe I would either be locked up or dead. I agree with Magrit about relapse...I do not feel it is part of recovery. I heard in a meeting last week...If you think you don't have a bottom in you worse then the last...you are diluded in your thinking. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 1:20:12 PM
Hi, Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Now, I am not too tickled about being an alcoholic. But I am grateful I found that out and grateful I know what to do about it today. Though Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been given a second shot at life. Peace of mind. The promises have been fulfilled. Grateful that AA even worked for me. Grateful for the biggest and best gift of all. Today I have been given the freedom to drink or not to drink as I choose. What an awesome gift. Freedom from the slavery of alcohol. I have a choice today. But without action, my gratitude is nothing more than a pleasant feeling. One of our founders once said that our gratitude can be best shown by carrying the message. Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill email: az-bill@mindspring.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 1:38:09 PM
Hi, I'm Bob and an alcoholic. Your topic feels sort of connected to the step this week Charlie. You sound like you're full of the spirit of this fellowship and that I can relate to in spades. I haven't graduated from anything so far in recovery, and in fact, the benefits keep unfolding for me, as well as my personal liabilities. The gratitude I have today is that I finally have some useful tools to deal with the ism in this disease. I feel more capable of being an adult that can function in life. The 11th Step makes an important reference to KNOWLEDGE and POWER. Used properly, rather than how I used it before, I have felt more useful and productive in life, than just self-seeking, and that's entirely due to A.A. And for this I am grateful. Thanks for leading the way and guiding me.
Member: Tracy V
Location: England
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 3:49:29 PM
Tracy grateful alcoholic i am grateful for all the posts on this site because it helps guild me to a better place (((Love to you all)) Tracy
Member: John P.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 4:39:33 PM
Hi, I'm John and I am an alcoholic. Today I have much to be grateful for. I have not had a drink in 150 days. Anyone who knows me, knows, that this is nothing short of a miracle. I am grateful for the program of alcoholics anonymous. It has taught me to care for others and that others really do care about me. I have seen many wonderful things happen in the past few months. Things that couldn't possibly have happened if I were still drinking. Sometimes I think I'm grateful that I am an alcoholic. Because that lead be to this program and a much better, happier life than I have ever known. Most of all I am grateful that I didn't drink today and my HP willing... I don't have to drink tomorrow. Thanks for letting me share. John P.
Member: Sarah H.
Location: New York City
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 6:49:36 PM
Hi Sarah, alcoholic. Writing from New York City. I really appreciate all of the gratitude shared on this site. It is an important message to hear.It reminds me that even when I don't feel hopeful, hope is out there. I am grateful for all of the amazing things that have happenned within me since coming into the rooms. Things I didn't have even before I started drinking. Like goals. How strange! I have about 6.5 mos. and some of my goals have already begun to come true. And my goals grow with me. Things I never would've even dreamed of. I am living a second life and feel so blessed. I took the "Do you think You're an alcoholc?" quiz today just for kicks. Boy, am I an alcoholic! I think this is a good thing to do in sobriety to remind us, no matter how long we are sober, this disease does not leave us. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Rich R
Location: rural minnesota
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 7:16:47 PM
i'm sad as i write this but the postings usually give me hope and i'm grateful for the posts. sometimes exercise helps my depression but presently i'm obstaining from chemical fixes; i usually depend upon them to do what i need to do for myself even though medical people make disclaimers regarding there interference. having ptsd from our asian adventure, ilived on ibuprofin to deal with the pain and completely depended on it and used whenever any discomfort surfaced, i feel like i've used up any right to chemical relief; however it's easier to adapt to this philosophy when i isolate as i do. i have an agorophobic interaction with the world but do attend ftf meetings weekly or more often. i have a sponsor with the patience of job, and i see a councelor at the vets center. any changes in my support are greeted by me with a panic attack. my sharing upon reflection is drab yet i did'nt have a drink today, i laughed with my dogs goofy behavior, i cooked a meal[spagetti] read and appreciated numerous postings and took pleasure in my small accomplishments. also located readings in the bb that relate to depression; pgs xx1x, 36, 52, 106, 127, & 133. these and much else are easily researched at excellent url. www.healingresource.org/book.cgi?Display-Welcome with gratitude. rich
Member: Len C.
Location: Sydney,NovaScotia
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 7:24:42 PM
Hi folks,LenC. I from Sydney ,Nova Scotia and I'm new to the puter world .Been sober since 89 and thankful to have been given a wonderful life,don't deserve it but sure am lovin' it..My acceptance level on the way alot of the program is going in our local area is a concern,or maybe I'm blowing up...Detox centers have 1st crack at a lot of newcomers and they really push their programs,which are not A.A. and I am frustrated with their overwelming push of the 4th and 5th steps..Is this happening everywhere or is this isolated to certain areas
Member: Joe Rosales
Location: Tri Cities, Wa.
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 7:47:20 PM
Hi I am Joe R.from the Tri-Cities Washington and i enjoy reading the the posting from my fellow alcoholics. a lot of it hits right at home. Stuff that I felt that it wasn't me and I realize I was in denile. Thank you all for sharing. I haven't drink alcohol since my DUI Nov. 2,2002.
Member: Le Ann Q.
Location: FL
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 8:22:38 PM
Hi. I'm Le Ann and I'm an alcoholic. I spoke at my home group last night and I got very nervous about being onstage. After it was all over, I decided that I'm greatful for the oppoutunity to share my story and some of my experiences with AA. One of the points that I tried to stress, was that for me, I need to remember I'm still an alcoholic every day. I'm not going to dwell on it, but it's important for me to be grateful that I have today,sober. By the way I'm grateful for this site and the comments written. Sometimes I can't get to enough f2f meetings to keep me balanced. Keep doing, going and growing....Thanx for letting me share.
Member: Elizabeth E.
Location: Southeast USA
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 8:49:08 PM
Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am an alcoholic. Very grateful for being sober today. My life did not have to be like this. Grateful that I don't have to drink one day at a time. I show my gratitude by showing up, and not drinking. Relapse is a part of recovery-it happens all the time. It is not a requirement! PS - those of you looking for happiness - it is a by-produce of living right (not perfect). Thanks for allowing me to share.
Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 9:31:19 PM
I can never express the gratitude i feel for Alcoholics Anonymous, but i am grateful that relapse is NOT a part of my recovery. With the help of you good people of AA i pray that i will never have to sober up again.
Member: Frank C.
Location: Yreka, CA
Date: 1/19/2003
Time: 11:03:38 PM
Thanks Len from NS. Yes, the same problems in N. CA. Treatment centers seem to be getting most of the drunks then make them think that they are alcholic addicts. Seems like real 12 step calls are a bare minimum in recent years. I also became sober in 1989 and didn't need a treatment center to do so. What I needed was what I got - AA meeting and AA members in my life. I needed to work the steps and live the steps. I needed to carry the AA message of sobriety to another alcoholic. I did so and now live a much more contented life without alcohol in it. What I mean is that I no longer wish to die, but to live. That is amazing for someone like me who only got relief from life whenever I was drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous works for all if they have the capacity and willingness to not drink, work the simple steps and live the program by carrying the message to other alcoholics in need. It seems sometimes that that portion of the 12th step gets lost in the wirlwind life of recovery. When we get out of ourselves by helping another drunk then we get relief from our own selfish problems. An old priest friend of mine once told me that God is love, and love is giving... Have a very loving week.
Member: joe don A
Location: nova scotia canada joe_don55@hotmail.com
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 12:03:47 AM
joe don here im an alcoholic gratitude is an under statment for what the program has given me. this program teaches me how to live life on lifes terms an not have to grab for a drink to do it. through sharing with the fellowship going to lots of meetings an reading the big book my higher power guides me down a softer road an litens my load an for that i am gratefull thank you for letting me share joe don
Member: Matthew W.
Location: Tri Cities WA.
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 1:07:55 AM
Im not too sure of the topic but i believe it is about grattitude. i just wnt to say I am greatful to the program and for one person i know: Shawna I coulnd't have done it without you. I love you all.
Member: John J
Location: Baltic, CT
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 8:57:26 AM
My name's John & I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for 11+ years, and for that, I am grateful. I still have all the obsessive, addictive tendancies I had when drinking; I eat too much, buy things I don't need, say things I am sorry for, and worry about the future. Thank God I do it sober. Thank you all for reminding me I have things to be grateful for.
Member: Cindi P.
Location: Chippewa Falls, WI
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 12:17:20 PM
My name is Cindi P. and I am an alcoholic. I am grateful that AA taught me to live in the moment and look to HP for guidance from other AA members, my husband, my meditations, my sponsor and my sponsees. I am grateful that AA does not have an opinion on other issues. My experience includes mental illnesses, medication, doctors and therapists. AA's steps and traditions have taught me a new way of life, sober and productive. I am very grateful for my f2f and cyberspace meetings, and for all you who post and share your ES&H. Thank you.
Member: Chris T
Location: San Diego, Ca
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 12:25:16 PM
Chris here and I am an alcoholic. Just got back from Mnday morning attitude adjustment where after the meeting I gratefully mopped the floors. The meetings are held at the church. When I was drinking I would have hated the person I am becoming. I wish all the alcoholics could get sober and change their lives, but I'm just glad mine did.
Member: Melissa.K.
Location: Phildelphia
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 1:20:50 PM
Hello,I'am Melissa alcoholic.I'am grateful for so much.Mostly my wonderful children.Who I can be a mother to today thanks to this wonderful program.I'am also grateful to all the beautiful people in the rooms for helping me stay alive day by day.I'am new to this site and so glad I found it.I have enjoyed everything I read here today.I have also been a little depressed lately I had some back surgery and I'am still in alot of pain.But thanks to the program and my HP I can deal with it one day at a time.Thanks for letting me share.
Member: robin
Location: delaware
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 2:15:54 PM
hello everyone....i'm grateful for too many things to list...however, they all seem to stem from me not drinking...37 days today and i am grateful for that....this is a great site...it has helped me tremendously....it is such a lonely disease, but not a solo disease...this site helped me realize that....thank you all and continued success....
Member: Ollie K
Location: UK
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 2:24:23 PM
I'm eternally gratefull. I'm glad I caught this disease before it got any worse. I'm glad I've got the rest of my sober life to look forward to. I'm gratefull for all the people who have stood by me even though I've been a total ass. I'm gratefull to my HP for giving me the best gifts - life and sobriety. I'm gratefull to the people who care enough to share, my sponsors, the people who post their stories on this site... even though they shouldn't really care about someone like me. I'm above all gratefull that I had my eyes opened to the HP, that I had my eyes opened to things in life I was missing. (((ALL))) ollie.
Member: Leman a
Location: boston,mass
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 4:27:33 PM
Hi my name is leman and i'm an alcolic. just found your web site today. been sober 10+years still go to a meeting everyday because I met a woman with 40+ plus years, that still went to meetings every day. I asked her why? she said because it worked when I first got here. Pretty simple. Thank god for the good old timers.
Member: Mary H
Location: NH
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 5:24:26 PM
Kim V what a power of example you are with your sobriety. I too am very grateful for A.A. showing me how to go a day without a drink and for showing me how to live. I believe there are two kinds of depression. Chemical depression (which is due to brain chemicals being out of sync) and emotional depression. I once heard depression being described as someone's real life not measuring up to their fantasy life. This I can identify with. When I am feeling depressed, I really need to wonder, where has my head been lately. Am I wishing for things to be different? Am I not living in the moment? These questions usually show me I am off track with my thinking and quite naturally I have put myself in a funk. For me depression is a signal that I need to monitor what have I been dwelling on? I need to fetch myself up sharply and work my program. I know this too shall pass but not without willingness and work on my part. So grateful to be sober today.
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 5:37:03 PM
I am very grateful to my God, and the program of AA, without either I would most propably be dead by now. Instead life is worth living again, problems can be managed instead of drowned, and things keep getting better and better. 51 weeks sober and I guess I'll stay sober again tomorrow. Thank you all for helping me. Frank
Member: Chris T
Location: baltimore MD
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 6:21:24 PM
my name is chris and i am a real alcoholic. The topic appears to be gratitude and i am very grateful today, as i should be everyday. But today is special because AA is there once again to help me with "living" issues and to remind me of never to forget where i came from. I am over 7 years sober, by GODs grace and one day at a time, but recently fell into the cycle of the 7 year itch. I didnt drink, but have had many warning signs that i needed to return to the basics and work on my spiritual life. I thank god that AA is still here today as it was 7 years ago and that i can return and seek the guidance of other alcoholics and literature in the application of daily living.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 9:01:19 PM
HI Chris I was born a Baltimoron. Went to City College the castle on the hill. az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Kelly M
Location: -10* NH
Date: 1/20/2003
Time: 9:45:20 PM
Hi All, Kelly, a vertically challenged alcoholic. Today I am grateful for picking up my 4 month chip. Also for all the hugs and support from my friends in AA. They all know my name and are always there for me. AA is different this time around because my attitude is changed. I want this more than anything in my life. In 4 months so many good things have happened that are a direct result of AA. My spiritual journey has just begun and I like the good things the program is teaching me. They are all lessons in successful living. Dealing with people and life on lifes terms and being honest and when to keep your mouth shut. What a concept! Thanks for all your perspectives, they help keep me sober. Kelly
Member: KAthleen
Location: Floral City, Fl rambler@atlantic.net
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 2:02:35 AM
Hello all, Kathleen here alcoholic. Gee there is so much that I am grateful for. Mostly at this point in my recovery I'm grateful that I have choices and solutions today, that I don't have to sit in depression and self pity. I'm grateful the steps taught me acceptance for that is the key to my serenity today. I'm grateful I'm able to work in a profession I love, and that is a direct result of being sober and living the steps. And I'm grateful for ALL of you because without you there would be no AA and I would be dead... thanks for being here for me...
Member: AnilG
Location: MtVernon,IL
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 8:44:55 AM
I am an alcoholic and an addict. I am greatful to this aa programm that has given me a reason to live more then that another life to live. I am greatful to the people who have the courage to share there strengh hope and experiance my sponsor case manager and all those people who have taken pains in my recovery and wil always be there for me. thanks to aa and alanon.a
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 10:16:06 AM
((Frank D)) - Congratulations of 51 weeks!!! I have 8 1/2 months and people like you who set a good example help me a lot and give me hope that I can learn to live happily without using. Keep coming back cause I'm glad you're hear. Peace and God Bless. Bill
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 11:55:17 AM
I'm a real alcoholic. I was thinking about friendship. When I was still active in my disease. My insanity did not allow me to get close to you. I lived lies within lies within more lies and if I let you get too close you might find me out. My "friends", could get me a bag, sex and/or sit and listen to the BS that driveled out from my drunken fantasies. We spent a lot of time creating lots of drama. At the end I had no more energy to keep up the farce and I lay in a pee and puke drenched bed, drinking, and hoping to die. I had no more energy to left keep going on as it was or to stop. Joe was a co-worker, a stranger really, he is not one of us, but he was persistant about wanting to help me. He got me to the hospital the last time I drank. Today, thanks to the steps, I know Joe was a lot more spiritually than I could have imagined before AA. Today, no matter how agitated I find myself, I now have tools to move back to Peace. They are AA, the Steps, contact with others (phone and email), meetings and the many real friends I have, by being a willing true friend myself. Thanks!
Member: Paul D.
Location: Toronto
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 11:56:42 AM
Hi, Paul, alcoholic from Toronto: Was 7 years sober but fell off the wagon 7 days ago. Goes to show you how easy it is when you don't attend meetings and keep actively working at sobriety. Fortunately my A.A. meetings from the past haunted me as I was drinking; in other words, A.A. ruined my drinking. I knew I was starting on destructive behaviour. Fortunately my threshold for pain is minimal so I called my sponsor, resumed meetings, and gained sobriety quickly - thank God! It's time to get back to work, re-work the steps, stay in touch with other A.A'ers and to stay sober. I'm so grateful to all of you in the program; thank you!
Member: Tim S.
Location: N.V. In.
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 11:59:00 AM
Tim S. Alocholic. Gratitude good topic,I'm new to this site so bear with me.I am about 4 1/2 yrs.sober and am greatful to the program of aa the fellowship,meetings,&tools you all have given me.I've been working a lot of overtime lately and missed my Sunday & Tuesday meetings so far this week.I used to go to meetings everyday but now I get 3 to 4 a week that seems to be what it takes to keep me fit.Thanks everyone for shareing.
Member: Tim S.
Location: N.V. In.
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 12:02:08 PM
Tim S. Alocholic. Gratitude good topic,I'm new to this site so bear with me.I am about 4 1/2 yrs.sober and am greatful to the program of aa the fellowship,meetings,&tools you all have given me.I've been working a lot of overtime lately and missed my Sunday & Tuesday meetings so far this week.I used to go to meetings everyday but now I get 3 to 4 a week that seems to be what it takes to keep me fit.Thanks everyone for shareing.
Member: Richard B.
Location: Kansas
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 12:23:15 PM
Hello I'm Richard alocholic, from south east kansas, sobriety date is7/27/87. i'm very gratful the court sent me to them @#%* AA meetings I finally realize i would'nt allow anybody else put me through what i put myself through, i had to be willing to go too any lenghts to have what i've got now, when i think i don't need a meetin is what i'm saying is i don't need you people i can do i by myself and i can't i need you drunks, here something i seen somewhere and for every sixty seconds of anger you lose i minute of happiness !!!! bye for now
Member: Robert H
Location: Columbus, OH
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 1:25:33 PM
Hi, Robert and an alcoholic. I guess the thing that I am grateful for is that I can be grateful. For a very long time I didn't know what it felt like, and even though I had a million reasons to be grateful, I wasn't. It is truly a blessing to me that I have the ability to feel that emotion. www.alcoholrecovery.net
Member: Leland
Location: Santa Barbara,CA
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 1:46:24 PM
Leland, alcoholic. So many folks in their early sobriety posting here: I'm grateful that this program is still the solution. I enjoyed Le Ann Q.'s post. Sharing in front of a group has always been powerful for me. Twice some major truths have come out: like the fact I drank in the morning and the fact I had a financial amends to a store. These things I think only "leaked" out because I was sharing my story at a group level. So tonight at my new home group, I'm taking a cake for 10 years of continuous sobriety and will get to share much like Le Ann did. Wonder what else will come up: can not wait!
Member: Siobhan C.
Location: Washington
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 2:38:02 PM
Hi, all. My name is Siobhan, alcoholic. I have so much to be grateful for: my husband -who loves and supports me, despite all the ringers I have put him through while I was drinking. and now I, we, have a baby on the way. Who knew life could be this much fun, SOBER! The urge to drink is always there, even pregnant. I am grateful for my sobriety, today, and hopeful for sobriety tomorrow. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Terry
Location:
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 3:43:15 PM
Hi everyone, I'm an alcoholic who has known they were an alcoholic for years but has finally taken real steps to recovery. I'm on my 16th day sober, I'm grateful for this and for the meetings I have found, which I'm believing more and more that they are my only way to long term sobriety. This morning, I had the day off and actually pictured myself drinking, and then going to a meeting tomorrow and lying about it. I am grateful to God that I didn't not drink and grateful that I'm realizing that I am really sick and need help. I'm also grateful that I can go a meeting tonight. Thank you for all your words of wisdom.
Member: Tom G.
Location: Michigan
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 4:55:13 PM
Hi, I'm Tom, alcoholic. I'm grateful that I have the Program to keep me going during rough patches. I celebrated 13 years on Dec. 15, and got laid off my job three weeks later. By the grace of God, I have no desire to drink, and I am steadily pursuing work. I am grateful someone mentioned the "courage to share ES&H" because it challenged me to share.
Member: Ed B
Location:
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 6:27:04 PM
HI my name is Ed and I'm an alcoholic. I don't want to drink today but I still have so many problems with 'those other people'. TOnight I'm going to try praying to a god I don't believe in. Alcoholism has me beat once again - and I've not even lifted a drink. I feel I've reached a new dry rock bottom. I wish I could cope with people better. I wish I could get rid of this fear that's with me all the time. Ed
Member: Melanie
Location: Ohio, USA
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 8:54:34 PM
Hi All! I'm Melanie and I'm an alcoholic. Gratitude is always an uplifting topic. When things are really bleak, we all need to take the time to count our blessings. Just still being alive is such a gift. I have so much to be grateful for, but I'll share why I'm glad to be an alcoholic, since that is what we have in common. When I was a child, everything came easily for me. I was super intelligent, healthy, financially priveleged, great parents...I was lazy, spoiled, a little arrogant and I never had to work hard for anything. I was also socially inept and not really. Alcohol changed that social thing and made me think I was happy for a while, until my life was in tatters and I was lost. AA made me find a new me and a HP to show me the way through life. If life had never gotten hard and horrible, I would have never sought a power outside my spoiled, self-centered, intellectual ego. Now I'm willing to work for my goals and try to keep my path in alignment with the Lord's plans. Happiness isn't constant, but contentment is more frequent. When life seems unfair and people are hard to cope with, remember what someone told me, "There is NO world-wide conspiracy against me, I'm just not that important." (humility) (((Kim V.))) My meds keep me stable and AA teaches me how to live. I need both. Bill W. had depression too. Read As Bill Sees It. (((Frank C.))) Here in Ohio, treatment leads to AA. Go to the meetings at the centers that have them to help carry the message. Thanks to all for sharing and letting me share.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 9:03:24 PM
A fourth step on fear. Col 1. I am afraid of?? Col 2 Why? Col 3 How does these fears affect me? And Col 4 What is my part in this? We find a lot of fears look silly on paper. But some are real and need to be dealt with. Then there are fear that are good fears. These are the fears that make me careful. These are the fears that make me check things. Especially when I am skydiving. :) Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Angela
Location: Shady Grove AL
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 9:24:04 PM
Hi my name is Angela And I am an alcoholic. By the grace of God and this program I haven't had a drink today and that is a true miricle in itself. Thank you all for sharing and being here for me. I live on a beautiful farm in S. Alabama and it is about 45 min. to my meetings and this is great for me. This program has saved my life and given me a life that I didn't know existed!!!
Member: Marta R
Location: Little Rock, AR
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 9:36:52 PM
Hi, my name is Marta and I'm an alcoholic. Been sober 8 yrs. and this the first time I've come to this site. I think it's great. I usually make 2 or 3 meetings a week, but this is nice as an additional type of meeting. I used to participate in a writing group called "World Hello Meeting by Mail" and wrote to and received letters from AA members all over the world. For some it was their only meeting for the most part, because the nearest meeting was 30 or 40 miles away. On the subject of being grateful, I am grateful for every day sober. I came to AA at a very early age and after several years of trying the easier softer way, I finally put together 6 yrs of sobriety. Then I got complacent and went back out for several years. I knew people who did the same and never made it back. It was like a limbo when I was out there, and I am ever grateful for having the chance to come back. Life has not always been easy since I have gotten sober again, but life is life and I've come to accept it. I'm now living instead of running away from life and that's pretty special. I try to use the steps in all parts of my life and remember my HP has the controls. When I remember I'm not in charge, it's amazing how well everything works out.
Member: Erma G.
Location: Utica,N.Y.
Date: 1/21/2003
Time: 10:21:19 PM
Chronically depressed alcoholic here.Have tried with and without meds,counselling,etc.AA has done more to help me deal one day at a timein a world I don't much like or understand better than any other therapy I've tried.Don't get me wrong...I need them all and manage to live a pretty "normal" life.If you are female and over 30 you might want to consider talking to your M.D. about hormone imbalance as a cause if increased anxiety/depression.I need all the tools available to me.Have been suicidal since my teens.One day at a time I don't drink,drug or kill myself.It's worked for 18+ years now.Talk about gratitude??? The grandchildren,adventures,trials and life lessons I would have missed if not for AA and my lifeboat companions.Thanks for keeping me sober and alive one more day.
Member: Tom A
Location: Canton Il
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 12:18:50 AM
{paul d}hi im tom and im an alcoholic theres something to that 7year thing i too had 7 years soberity before doing more reserch and when i would get lit i would think of these rooms and the people in them it took me ten years to get back i now have 3year and for that i am grateful
Member: RICHARD B.
Location: KANSAS
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 3:28:07 PM
TO TOM, CANTON IL THATS GREAT YOU'VE GOT 3YRS NOW YOU SEE AA GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE AT AA!!! WHAT I USE IS I PROMISE I WON,T DRINK TODAY BUT WILL TOMORROW AND AT MIDNITE I SAY IT OVER MY NAME IS RICHARD I,M A DRUNK FROM SOUTHEAST KANSAS I WAS A NOBODY TO BECOME A SOMEBODY. JULY 27 I'LL HAVE 16 YRS BYE DOING ONE DAY AT A TIME
Member: Dan S
Location: Vancouver, Wa
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 5:37:33 PM
Hi I am Dan an alcoholic.....Just made my 120th day....and yes One day at a time....Just decided with help from many other for we are not alone.
Member: Dan S
Location: Vancouver, Wa
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 5:43:45 PM
Hi I am Dan an alcoholic.....120 days ...one day at a time
Member: Dan S
Location: Vancouver, Wa
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 6:39:44 PM
It does seem amazing how simple a complex issue can become......complex in how it, alcohol, affects us and simple by just not having the first drink....that is simple. I say it every day. Dan, I am an alcolholic
Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 7:56:30 PM
HI,Marv L,alcoholic,grateful for the changes AA made in my life.In August,81 when I showed up,I was a drunk,first time I said I"m an alcoholic was that night,so ever since,life has gotten better. Was surprized ya told me to come back,so I did,and I do,and I hope for all of us that as we share our experience,strength,and hope we can be like that light in the darkness! Together,and with Gods help,we can live sober one day at a time!Thanks for sharing,I needed to hear what ya said!!
Member: Sharon Frey
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 9:30:26 PM
Hi, I'm Sharon and gratitude is my favorite subject. my DOS 4/1/78 and I am gratful that my God let me live to get to AA and then AA gave me back my God. My life has not been a barrel of all fun, but thru it all I found that if I mantain my gratitude daily, My God and I can get thru anything. Welcome to the newcomers keep coming back, the AA way for me is the only way to live. Where else can you start life over in young-senior years? Love and prayers, Sharon Frey slfrey@yahoo.com
Member: Dottie
Location: in AA
Date: 1/22/2003
Time: 11:26:58 PM
Oh, Charlie Darling, you seem to be on the top of the world…coming in first again. You are so special. *smile* Let’s see…in 12 more months, I will have this amount of sobriety. Well, toots, for me, I can’t go there. I can’t live in tomorrow, nor can I predict what the future will be. Sorry, no crystal ball here * wink * Being grateful is always a good topic as it seems to immediately delete any pity-parties that might be lurking in the shadows. It also keeps me humble. Thanks, Darling!
Member: Curious
Location: Midwest
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 4:07:02 AM
Curious alkoholic. Seems many are told and taught that sobriety is gotten by going to meetings and then someone asks why the push for the 4th & 5th steps. Without taking the steps my friends, you can't get sobriety. Read step 12. "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps,....." NOT as a result of going to meetings. Meetings are where you go to get the message of the Big Book and the steps and how to take them. What good stuff can we share if we still have all of our anger, fear, guilt and shame? I beg you to think about what you are betting your life on...your old ideas or perhaps someone else's old ideas or what works, the steps. If you don't value life then PLEASE don't mislead others who do. Don't bet on oldtimers that don't take the steps but go to lots of meetings. They aren't sober folks. Just sitting waiting for their next drink.
Member: Cec H
Location: Rivercity
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 9:49:40 AM
Hi all Cec H alkie here. Kim V, Mars Hill, see a Doctor. I did after year's of depression. Turn's out that all the drinking and drugging I did when younger,destroyed my ceratonen (sp) levels as in I have none. So I have to take half a tab of celixsa a day. Had to put up with the usual BS from other members. Funny thing, I am still here and alot of them arnt. So see a Doctor, be Honest tell him/her your an Alcoholic, then do as they say and donn't abuse the med's. I am gratefull today to be sober and to be living a life, not trying to survive, life. Another 24 to go please and have one for yourself.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 10:45:46 AM
Bill P. here, alcoholic. ((Marv L)) - Like a light in the darkness.... God does for me what I cannot do for myself. I thank God every day for the gift of AA and examples like you, that give me hope for a better life. Thanks, and God Bless. Bill
Member: Also curious
Location:
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 1:38:35 PM
Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as THE result (NOT a result) of these steps (just a point of order)we tried to carry this message to alcoholics (Where then if not in a meeting)and practice these principles in all our affairs God Bless you all
Member: joe don A
Location: nova scotia canada joe_don55@hotmail.com
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 2:58:52 PM
joe don A here alkie im vary gratefull my hp. he puts the right people in places to help me stay sober. like meetings i go to, aa site online i go to. but for the grace of god go i. shareing with you people on this site helps me an i hope you to. i hope you get another day free of alcohol an keep posting on this site , it helps me alot thank you all for shareing joe don
Member: RICHARD B.
Location:
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 3:33:52 PM
HELLO !!! I'M RICHARD B. AN ALCOHOLIC TO ALSO CURIOUS NICE COMMENTS KEEP CARRYING THE MESSAGE!!! ONE DAY AT A TIME THATS HOW IT WORKS
Member: Kim V
Location: Mars Hill, NC
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 10:29:54 PM
Hi Kim V here alcoholic. Hey (Ceh H) thats for the info. i will ask the dr. about the celixa. I haven't tried that antidepressant but have been on a dozen others. My dr. knows all my history as I am always honest with all medical and dental people as I don't ever want to take anything that would be a danger to my soberity. I found that doing for others sometimes help get me out of the fog for the moment anyway. Today I amde myself drive an hour each way just to get some old lady some wood in and make her some chicken soup because I knew her kids wouldn't make it by to stay the weekend. It sure helped the depression for awhile. Maybe a little insane being out in this weather but it sure felt great when she saw my face at her door this morning. Still Powerless Kim V Kvaughn@madison.main.nc.us
Member: Keith F
Location: Bakersfield, California
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 11:25:08 PM
"New guy" here. I'm a chronic slipper and hider of my drinking. Gee, none of my nonalcoholic friends have to hide drinking a couple of beers, and then lie about it. I had 9 years but got drunk in 1998. I haven't been able to collect much more than a couple of weeks at a time. I've got about eight hours right now, clean and sober. Please pray for me if you are into that.
Member: lou
Location: iowa
Date: 1/23/2003
Time: 11:56:35 PM
I'm grateful that I am sitting in front of this computer. I have a little over a year in the program and am glad to have a place tonight to listen and share a little. I live in a rural area with few meeting options, so it's very nice to find this site tonight. I am feeling frustrated and lonely and discouraged about something tonight. I am grateful though, that I'm not doing what I would have done a year ago in this situation. I won't have that self loathing tomorrow, or the regrets. God willing, I will get another 24 hours of sobriety tomorrow. To Keith F.- I am praying for/with you. I believe that "God is doing for us what we can not do for ourselves".
Member: MALVIN T
Location: ORLANDO FL
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 9:00:05 AM
HERE I AM SO GREATFULL OF SHARING THIS WONDERFULL DAYS OF SOBRIETY. DONT YOU GUYS THINK HOW GEAT THIS WORLD WOULD BE WITHOUT ALCOHOL OR DRUGS. I HAVE A QUESTION. WHO INVENTED ALCOHOL? WAS IT THE INDIANS? WHO AND WHY THEY LEGALIZED? I KNOW FOR SURE IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE. ONE MORE DAY I THANKS GOD FOR GIVING US A CHANCE TO ENJOY THIS BEATIFULL LIFE AND TO KEEP US AS FAR AS POSSIBLE OF CONSUMING ALCOHOL OR DRUGS.
Member: Adelea I.
Location: Dresde,Germany
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 9:48:06 AM
Adelea, alcholic. Wow. There is a lot of grattitude flowing right now. At least into me. Lately, it has been hard to remember to be grateful. I have been dealing with the gifts of my the "high class" problems I have now, as a result of being sober. and yes, I have been whiney about it all, butI feel immensely grounded now, b/c I don't have 8 hours sober. but I can remeber when I did. Life could be alot worse than it has been lately. the long and the short is that I live overseas and the closest english speaking meeting is 3.5 hours away. so I am trying to be creative about how to "go to meetings". My biggest fear, is that I will drink, adn lose all fo the precious gifts, that God has laid down before me. so now, I pray, I read, I call my sponsor twice a month, adn I try to be of service to everyone I can, expecially those who annoy me:). thank you for your postings. this has been the best meeitn I have been to in a while....
Member: Jackie L
Location: Pa.
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 11:13:53 AM
I am grateful for each and every post that I've read. I am so grateful to be able to RELATE to other human beings. I used to feel SO ALONE but not anymore because I hear echoes of myself in you. I KNOW you. Today you, my fellow alcoholics, touch me , strengten me, make me laugh make me CARE. FINALLY , I feel a sense of belonging. You're PRECIOUS to me. And I thank the WONDERFUL God that I've come to know through the steps and the Fellowship for each of you. Thank you for sharing (you). Keith , I will be praying , know that, okay? Also, I promise you that some of the strongest, clearest and most incredibly powerful in helping others sober people that I have known are people who struggled just as you are now. One dear friend had been given up on by every body in her area as an absolute looser. Well, almost everybody. One old fella WOULD NOT abandon hope. She'll never forget him, nor will the man she eventually married or her beautiful son or all of the people she's helped. And I am one of them. Here is one thing she'd say, " do not pick up that first drink TODAY and you will be given all that you need for today; you will be given strength and courage and guidance, ALL that you need - not for tomorrow- for TODAY." Please keep us posted!
Member: Brian F
Location: Scotland
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 1:41:23 PM
Hi my name is Brian, and I'm an alcoholic. reat topic Charlie. I'm grateful for a loving God how put the people in my life to take care of me and keep me alive long enough to be guided to the doors of AA. I am grateful to the people of AA who have loved me well and continue to love me well. The friends who tolerated my insanity, my tantrums and all the stuff that goes with growing up. I am grateful for the life I have today, the relatinships I am building with my daughters, my Dad and MYSELF. I am grateful for this site and all you people who are there to help me continue to grow. I am grateful that I stuck around long enough to begin to understand what people were talking about. I an grateful to God and AA for my life.
Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 3:21:45 PM
Hi, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. Thanks for all the good words already said. I'm very grateful that I don't have to drink anymore, that I KNOW this program works, and am willing to work it (or let it work me, however you like). I'm grateful to have a sponsor that helps me to keep growing, and that I WANT to call her and be honest. Even though there's lots of 'life' stuff going on right now with me, I'm grateful that I'm not running away, but instead asking God for help each day and focusing on my sobriety first. Here's a laugh...I had a strange experience yesterday; I got grateful for going to the dentist! That's so funny to me. Things like gratitude for being able to follow through with taking care of myself by making the appt, and KEEPING it, and working each day reliably so I have a job w/health insurance, and money to pay the Dentist (and willingness to pay the bill), etc. This is all such a huge change from that drunken woman I was, with cases stashed, the phone off the hook, curtains pulled and everyone chased away so I could get NUMB. Thank you all for keeping the hand of AA always there.
Member: joe s.
Location: michigan Rezdog
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 4:31:25 PM
we tell a story about a great chief who warned his tribe about this coyote called alcoholism. Elders sing songs of first step gratitude in honor of his name ... Gottawannaquit. i'm grateful for this fellowship of full length mirrors. prayers to you brother keith (we're way into that on the Rez!). stay sober and stay cyber. miigwetch!
Member: Stuart M
Location: Devon England
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 5:03:49 PM
To Keith F. I will be praying for you today, why don't you join me, maybe two prayers will find the power sooner than one God Bless You
Member: LK
Location:
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 5:45:43 PM
I was sober...not drinking for a month and then drank and then tested positive for an alcohol screening test...I am afraid I might go to jail. I am very fearful.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 6:41:21 PM
Well LK when you get as many jails, hospitals, spin dries, Mexican prisons, treatments,and alleys as I have behind you then you may see a glimmer of the problem... But really you do not have to go that far. Your choice. We cannot supply the initial motivation to recover. It must come from you. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Cathy S
Location: New York
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 9:16:40 PM
Hi, I'm Cathy, and it's been a very long time since I've said I'm an alcoholic. AA saved me back in 1990, when I put down alcohol. I didn't touch alcohol or any mind altering substance for years. I met a man in '94, he moved in with me, and turned out to be a heavy drug/alcohol user, and abusive. I could not get him to leave, and even though I finally moved out 2 years ago, he's still in my life. In 1997 my father died. Because he also had been extremely abusive, I felt a mixture of confusing pain and relief. I had to take care of everything, and to fly overseas for the first time in a good while. I had been having panic attacks because of my relationship, and was also a somewhat fearful flier. The plane was trembling badly the whole way, I had a panic attack, and drank 2 glasses of wine. That was all I had in 1998. On the way back the flight was smooth and I didn't drink. In 1999, I had to go back again, had 2 glasses of wine each way, that was it. I haven't had a drink since then. I sort of had this idea, well I drink a little if I have to fly, but never otherwise. Those incidents aside, I stopped going to meetings back in 1995. I had hurt feelings because some people I had befriended there had behaved in a way that to me was a betrayal. I found there was just too much childish emotion and backstabbing going on. I want to go to meetings for serenity, not bickering among members. Anyway, I'm out of work right now, and I've found myself back in my isolated world, with only the-boyfriend-who-wouldn't-leave as company. I keep planning escapes and trips, and I realize, I'm unbalanced from being isolated socially, so no matter where I go, I'm still going to be the same. Back to the alcohol, as I said, except for those 3 times on airplanes, I haven't picked up snce 1990. The thing is, I'm starting to think "well gee, I'm so uptight much of the time, maybe I need to have a glass of wine now and then like everyone else. Maybe I'm no longer a pickle after all this time. Maybe it WAS because of how my father terrorized and terrified me that I drank alcoholically. After all, my boyfriend drank and drugged in front of me for years" I went through panic attacks from his abuse, but I didn't pick up, and didn't really want to. I picked up cigarettes and haven't been able to put them down, but not booze. I don't really crave it now. I just know I'm not in a good place.
Member: jessica t
Location: lakewood,Wa
Date: 1/24/2003
Time: 10:22:02 PM
HI,im jessi iam an alcoholic,im thankful I found you guys on the internet.At this time I have no way of making a meeting in person.Im 28 and recently had my first child about a week after she was born I relasped after a year.I went to treatment the next week.They let me bring her and it was the best thing Ive ever done.Igot back into A.A the people are so loving and excepting,defentley what I needed now Ive found A.A on-line Its just one more way I know thers always someone there.THANKS!!!!!
Member: Jan
Location:
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 4:32:11 AM
WOW, so much fantastic stuff. (John J.) thanks so much--sometimes I feel so shameful for my other obsessions and they are so much less damaging, why do I really worry that everything I do is addictive? Progress, not perfection. Not to mention the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking, not eating or spending...(Ed B.) I have a problem believing in a literal God too, so I start all my prayers "OK God" in a more conversational tone, after all, if He doeasn't exist, what is the harm in talking to Him? And if He does, maybe He will listen...
Member: John O'L.
Location: DFW, Texas
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 10:14:42 AM
This is John O'L, an alcoholic, and very grateful to be sober this morning. As my friend Vic always said, " I didn't have a drink yesterday, and that sure made it pleasant to wake up this morning!" No dry heaves, no vicious headache, no hugging the toilet on my knees and praying not to drink again, yet knowing that before noon I'd want very, very much to have more to drink. For many years I searched in bottles for love, peace, happiness, and respect. I found none of those things in alcohol. What I did find was that while I was drinking I felt like I could be important and loved someday, even though I knew that I was not currently happy, I felt that I could one day be happy. Alcohol provided me an illusion from my reality that I was unhappy with. Yet, by drinking, I refused to face my reality and only succeeded in making my reality worse and worse, thereby increasing my need to escape my increasingly intolerable situation by seeking escape in alcohol. What a vicious downward spiral this became to me!!!! I am so very grateful that I can now deal with reality, even when reality is not what I want, without trying to escape to alcohol. You know, when I was drinking, I used to fantasize about how one day I would be the author of a book. Well, I've been sober for enough time to actually write that book, and it is coming out in paperback next month ---- I'm grateful because now I can hug my wife, and not be sick in the morning, and actually build wonderful life, instead of building a fantasy life while drowning in alcohol. For all this I am grateful to God and to AA.
Member: Joy S.
Location: Chas.SC
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 1:28:59 PM
Joy S. here grateful recovering alcoholic. Celebrated 2 yrs last Sat. I sat down and wrote out a gratitude list this week, it was 3 pages long! Grateful to pick up my chip and grateful to know that it wasn't me! I know I am not capable of staying sober by myself. I owe the program of AA, my sponsor and all the other alcoholics, the meetings, the steps, the Big Book and other lit. and my HP all the credit. I finally had the courage to make amends to my ex-husband today and I felt fantastic after, although at the time I was shaking as I wrote it down. Woke up this morning knowing today was the day. Thank you all for your postings. I'm grateful for you!
Member: ROBERT
Location: BOSTON
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 6:20:58 PM
THIS IS GOOD BUT TRY TO GET TO A MEETING IN PERSON SIT UP FRONT !!TAKE THE COTTON OUT OF YOUR EARS AND PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH
Member: Chris T
Location: on the road again
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 9:58:05 PM
hi family chris T here. alcoholic from baltimore maryland down here in cocoa beach florida on business. I see the topic remains gratitude. as i learned in the beginning about 7 years ago, gratitude is an action word. and yes, today i am beginning the action to clear my side of the sidewalk on some issues which have rearisen from some years ago. this is a conscience choice i have made to follow the principles of action and more action. I have feelings of sadness at this moment but find that is a sign of clearing. I am sad because i am having to readress the issues of my children, the manipulative and disturbing types and what i am willing to accept and what i wont. I am also excited somewhere inside for in fact i am seeing and feeling the emotional me (as i have many times before) which for many years was hidden deep inside and i pushed farther down while i was drinking. The excitement stems from knowing that when i complete my initial actions, there will be great relief. The fog of the emotional backpack will be lifted once again..I am grateful today for my life for without AA i would not have one. thank you for letting me share.
Member: janis g
Location: mount vernon, WA
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 10:25:17 PM
HI everyone. My first time here. I sat here tonite and made the choice to not go to a meeting. And I found myself full of feelings about that because when I came to AA (1986) I was taught if I thought of a meeting in any way, I was to go to one. If I thought I don't need one, that is the most important time to go. So I cam here. I am so grateful for that lesson and for the wisdoms shared with me over the years by that oldtimer and any number of others who have shared. Wow. What a gift sobriety is. I have to be grateful today for just sucking air. Everything after that is gravy. Bless you all and thanks for letting me share.
Member: sushi H
Location: cape canaveral florida
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 10:43:10 PM
My AA Family, I am grateful for so much this week. Kim V, I strugle with manic episodes, too. Treat that depression aggressively because as dangerous as the mania is, remember that it served the purpose of pulling you up and protecting you from depression. Have you tried running. Releases lots of good chemicals in the brain. I love this place. I need AA as much as anyone and it has taken me long to come to it. My spouse 2 years ago found AA and got honest and pushed me out of the relationship because he had been drinking when he made the life choice to marry me. So after alot of resentment about it, I have given it up and know that my program can't include blaming him and or AA. I am grateful thaT I live in paradise and that every day is another day to not have to worry about drinking. Peace.
Member: Cathy S
Location:
Date: 1/25/2003
Time: 11:18:48 PM
Hi, Cathy again (alcoholic). I think one of my problems was that I had a sponsor with only a year more than I had. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by getting a new sponsor with more time. She was nice, but was struggling with her own issues in achieving sobriety, and could not be there for me much at all, among other things. When I left my group after 6 years, no one called me, so I assumed no one cared. I've had a problem with an extremely abusive father, and a mother who is very cold to me. I don't seem to understand humans at all. I see so much hostility I find it discouraging. So I have tried to communicate on the net, but it's a cold medium. I'm in the grips of this abusive relationship with my boyfriend, whom I don't want to have in my life, but who won't leave me alone. I can't talk to my mother about it, she's not interested. I was posting on a domestic abuse board for over a year. I had managed to plan an escape last year, but I just didn't know what I was doing and he ended up finding me, and I just came back because I was so lonely over there. Then I didn't go back to that board, because they had already been kind of critical of me for taking so long to leave him. That's why I didn't go back to AA. There had been a guy there that I was semi-involved with, and there evolved a really nasty situation from that, in which several people in the group got mixed-up in it in one way or another. It just should not have happened. I tried going to a meeting in the place I "escaped" to, but it wasn't a very friendly group. Perhaps it was just a bad day. I'm never mean to people, and always try to be kind and polite, but for some reason, I seem to encounter coldness and hostility. I don't understand how to relate to people, or what makes people tick. It seems that there are few people, if any, who have the desire to enlighten you, I don't know why. I know I'm not being upbeat, but this is how I feel right now. The last thing I need is judgment. OK I'm a little wimpy at the moment, but I'm not always a pushover (I was actually called "an easy target" by some women in my group). Maybe I'm not saying the "right" things, but I'm being real.
Member: Denise
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Date: 1/26/2003
Time: 2:32:04 AM
Denise - i am grateful alcoholic - been reading here for a couple of weeks and really have gettign alot out of the messages - have been sober just over 14 years and have finally learned some valuable lessons about gratitude and people and how you have to be willing to have those things in your life in order for them to work - found it really hard to let people in and reach out my hand but being a slow learner and persistent i have finally learned how to do these things - because of my childhood (abusive) it is very hard to trust people but if i wish to continue to grow in sobriety then i must do the things that are hardest and overcome those shortcomings - sometimes i forget to be grateful for the chances that are put in front of me to work on those shortcomings but in the end i now know that each struggle is worth it and each lesson learnt better each time and some of those shortcomings have been permanently removed - I know that without this program and God in my life I would have been dead along time ago and my children would be more screwed up then they are - so maybe the cycle can broken noone knocked their heads in so that is a step in the right direction and they ahve exposure to meetings and program their entire lives so another big help - i am grateful for the things that they have learnt and for being able to try to be a good parent to them and hopefully a good role model through working this program anyway thank you everyone for posting and Charlie topics are great
Member: Cee S
Location:
Date: 1/26/2003
Time: 2:50:01 AM
Hello to you too. And welcome. I feel your pain. I acknowledge your existence. I don't hide behind recited words and fear of not conforming as a cover to snub another human being and feel superior. Let's face it. Humans are humans, and Americans are Americans. Europeans have a gentler approach to life and toward others. Whether it's AA or religion, if you're real about it's one thing, using it to be hypocritical is another. When will you Americans ever say what you realy mean? Here, it's all about "me first, me better than you". I've enjoyed the good things about AA too, and I practiced it fully. However, you have to be able to see things objectively. For getting sober it's great.
Member: Cee S
Location:
Date: 1/26/2003
Time: 2:59:44 AM
Angry? Yes. I've had it with bullying spoiled Americans, who can't stand (European)sensitivity and refinement, like bulls in a china shop. I'll get over my depression and regain my composure...but I'll never have any illusions again. Here you have to just use those talents that seem to annoy people (the more you have the more opposition you encounter), and keep a thick skin, or go somewhere more civilized. Adieu.
Member: Landscape Ray
Location: Scotland
Date: 1/26/2003
Time: 6:21:24 AM
I find our American cousins rather pleasant i have had the pleasure of visiting there country and found it to be very friendly, i also have been to France,Germany, Italy, Spain, and have found a very negative response there,so to say the yanks are wanks is not right, " have you ever seen the meals they serve in there restaurants" i just love them, iam not just saying that! by the way my two kids have never been there before lol, regards Ray