Member: Ed
Location:
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 11:49:00 AM
Hello everyone, my name is Ed and I'm an alcoholic. I apparently am the first one here this week, so let me tell you a little about myself. I have been sober since2-14-82. My sobriety has been very enjoyable for the most part. However I have been in this slump lately. I just have a tough time getting to meetings. I just seems that whatever meeting I get to I don't seem to get very much out of it.
I know this is me and not the groups. It seems strange but I just can't seem to put my finger on what is wrong. My sponsor and I have discussed this and it still dosen't seem to help. Ive mentioned this to a few oldtimers and they say they have experienced this also at different times , all they can suggest is keep reaching out and getting involved more in service work. I presently am involved as a GSR and with the District and State.
Just thought I'd throw this out for a topic this week to see if some of you have experienced a slump like this. Thanks
Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 12:10:54 PM
Hi Ed! And all who will come after. My name is Jenn and I'm an alcoholic. Most of the time happy,joyous,and free, but have been battling the blues lately myself. I love being sober and am eternally grateful for the gift I've been given. I have a life today I never thought possible, and am a whole different person than the drunk who came in these doors. Yet something is bothering me lately. I have talked it over with others, and it lifts some, but I am sure it will either pass or "more will be revealed" as long as I don't pick up a drink. I too am in service, and my answer to these times has always been "work with another alcoholic". It does help as nothing else can. Ed, it is good just to know that others go through these times and they do pass. I stay close to my support group, and don't let myself isolate. Fortunatly, having been active for so long, someone is always calling. Thank God for sponsees, sponsors, and other AA people. My phone rings everyday. Thanks for the topic and I look forward to the shares in the week to come. Thanks for helping me to stay sober today. Love to all. Looking forward to the snow!!!
Member: Mark B
Location: Soiuthwest Asia
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 12:26:16 PM
Mark, dope fiend alcoholic. Yeah, I've gone through those periods. I've literally gritted my teeth at times in meetings to keep from blowing up or saying something I'd later regret. I have to remember that at times, I have to go for the newcomers. I have to let them see, with their own eyes, the program in action in my life. I have to walk as I talk and just show up. I've learned that by just showing up, being there, I'm a part of something much bigger and larger than I. My ego doesn't like that, but the fact remains, by myself, I will drink or use, then I die. Hang tough bro, I've found that by just showing up, these things do pass.
Mark
Member: Wade M.
Location: Southern Alberta
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 12:30:56 PM
Hello, my name is Wade and I'm an alcoholic. I think I've experienced slumps since I was eight years old. For me,the other side of the "Why is everything fun illegal, immoral or fattening" coin is why do I (at times)experience tedium in things that are ultimately good for me? Maybe I get lazy or tired or bored - maybe I am susceptible to a routine-leads-to-a-rut pattern that I need to be aware of. I try to remember if I'm not getting much out of something I'm still getting something - even something small and I can search for awareness and gratitude of what that is. If I really am getting nothing out of what I'm doing I remember to ask "if this is what I don't want, what is it that I want instead?" If nothing else, these days I am happy to feel uncomfortable in a rut. I once moved my furniture into one and stayed there for 15 years. Peace
Member: dixie m
Location: usa
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 1:27:58 PM
dixie here, alcoholic. oh yeah i know all about the slump, the rut, the miserable what the heck am i doing here feeling. but it is so true, working with other suffering alcoholics is the answer. that and praying even if i don't feel like it. sometimes i have to pray for the willingness to pray. i thank god today i don't feel like that. i know spirituality is an ongoing quest for me. the rewards i receive from sharing with another drunk, from getting out of myself and having them ask for my help are true evidence that this program works. thanks for being here
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake city
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 1:43:03 PM
Hi everyone. Good topic Ed:"It just seems that whatever meeting I get to I don't seem to get very much out of it." I have gone through dozens of these periods as well. The key for me for coming out of them is not explecting to be entertained by a meeting or my life in general. I get out of things directly proportional to what I put in, often quite a bit more. But, I have to be putting my heart into whatever it is I'm doing, not my misery, which I've been known to do. A little like the ham and egg breakfast analogy: the chicken is involved, the pig is committed! Thanks for letting me share. Bob
Member: Sue C
Location: TN
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 2:24:41 PM
Hello, my name is Sue and I'm an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 5/5/90. Very grateful to be alive and sober today. That's not always been the case, but today I am grateful. Thank you Ed for the topic. This to shall pass. I needed to hear that today. Don't always remember to apply this to what I call the "flat times". I know today though that they are followed by a real growth spurt and what a joyous occasion that is and I can't wait! Thank you everyone. Once again thanks Ed. Like always, just what I need to hear. Love all of you. Sue
Member: Robin A
Location: Florida
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 3:14:34 PM
Hi (((all)))Robin~alcoholic and addict of MORE here;
Ed,
Sounds to me like your experiencing some of what I was going thru recently. My cure to get out of my slump was;
1) Get back to basics: meditations, reading the literature, writing in a journal and sharing more at meetings.
2) Be a speaker at a speaker meeting: Its difficult if you've never done that yet-but it does help tremendously to help get your perspective back.
I have been sober (and clean) almost 3 years (since 3/20/99) and I think 2 and a half was a "slump" time for me. I felt like crap and couldn't put my finger on why. But I did know that I had basically stopped doing the basics and in order to help myself grow away from the slump I had to put the extra effort in~and you know what? It worked! The program works IF you work it.
Member: Rev. Pamela
Location: Wharton, NJ
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 3:41:49 PM
Thanks Ed for the topic. I know exactly how you feel, in fact I'm going through it myself. It's one of the reasons I have been going to this web site. What helps me is going deeper into spirituality. Reading anything spiritual, praying, meditating, writing in my journal, gratitude list & watching the miracles of life. I also try a new meeting. Soberity is all about growth & sometimes we need new meetings. Which is what I did last Thursday and it helped. As was said before help someone new or help anyone, it makes you feel good. Also make sure & this is for everyone that you have time for FUN in your life!
Member: John S.
Location: FL
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 3:42:04 PM
Hi all... My name is John and I'm an alcoholic! However, NOT sober. I realize this is not a chat room. Found the site on my computer (bookmarked). I assume my wife has been checking it with curiosity (for me). I went to an AA meeting and felt a helpless from the start. Did not know if it would help me... or if I wanted the help? Your comments (all) have opened my eyes and something inside is telling me to do the right thing (for me)... Thanks! Hope to talk to you all real soon!
Member: dj
Location: southern va
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 4:32:11 PM
Hi all, dj alcoholic. Last week "change", this week "slump". There really are no coincidences. I have also been in a slump for the best part of a year. Brief summary: Left Wall Street, moved in to southern VA, staying with my parents (after being on my own for 20+ years), went back to college for a semester (was older than my professor), received Network certificate (computer stuff) and have been looking for a job (which feels impossible at this point). Well, that about covers my "change" for the year, now for the "slump". I love my parents and my brother (autistic) but staying here is getting a bit much for me to handle. Of course I picked the worst time to make career move like this but that's Monday morning quarterbacking. Who could of guessed? I really need a job -- soon. Things are getting a bit tight. Quiet uncomfortable actually.
I try to live in the moment, 9/11 really made that an understatement. Some friends didn't get the wakeup. Miss my home group from up north. Had many old timers who had excellent sobriety and were tough. Thank God for them. I didn't get away with much. If you were happy: "This too shall pass". If you were angry: "This too shall pass". Hardcore AA and I loved it. It's not quiet the same down here - yet.
Still, have been in a slump along with you Ed. Someone told me that year 7 is difficult but they probably say that about every year! LOL. I will continue to continue and keep doing the next right thing. We all know what we have to do. It's was comforting to find that I am, once again, not alone. Thanks Ed!
Thank you all for being here. dj
Member: John H.
Location: Indiana, USA
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 4:55:12 PM
Hi,all. This is John, an alcoholic. One of the cautions I remember from my early entry into the AA program-- no matter how many years of sobriety one accumulates, the urge to return to the "dream world" of getting drunk is only dormant, waiting for the alcohoic to pick up that first drink.
This time of the year, coping with the demands of holidays, can be discouraging, even depressing. It is easy to become listless, lonely even in company of family, friends or strangers. That is the time especially to get to a meeting, talk to another alcoholic, if not your sponsor. Where else can an alcoholic feel more warmth, friendship and understanding?
This is my 16th year of continuous sobriety, and yes I have occasional self doubts, feelings of insecurity and guilt. Instead of pickng up that first drink, I pick up spiritual readings, including AA, go to meeting and talk to my sponsor and other members. A daily regimen of prayer and meditation is also part of the schedule.
Ed, just do what you know from your long term experience tells you to do, and you'll remain sober and receive spiritual aid to carry you through.
May this be of help to you all, including me. The best to you all, 2002 and beyond!
Member: Lessa E.
Location: Chicago
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 5:36:50 PM
Hi, Lessa E here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, Ed. A good one I can relate to very well. My first pass through the program I found myself in the same rut. The same meetings that I used to LOVE to go through became tedious and boring. I got tired of listening to the same people talk about the same things, no matter what type of meeting it was. I was edgier after my meetings than I was when I went into the room. I was running one meeting. Then volunteered to run another, as the chairperson there quit. And then another. I sponsored one person. And became our local GSR. Well, to this drunk's twisted way of thinking, I was putting more into the program than I was getting out of it. So, I gradually started backing off. One meeting at a time. One phone call at a time. Until the only thing I was doing, was running one meeting a week. That was my sole contact with the program. And, not surprisingly, after two and a half years sober, I went 'back out there' to do some more research.
I'd like to say that things have been great in the 20 months since I've been back. But they haven't. I found myself in the same rut last summer. The difference this time was the 'willingness to go to any lengths'. My 'field research' was that disastrous. One thing that someone said stuck with me. "Stick with the winners." By that, this person meant, "hang out with folks whose program seems to be working really well." There were several people who went to one or two of my weekly meetings. I started asking them about their programs. I found out what other meetings they went to. And I started going to some of them. I did NOT eliminate existing meetings, though. I wanted to make sure I had a safety net, in case the new meetings didn't work out. Well, the new meetings DID work out, and I am now going to meetings almost daily. I found out these 'winners' meditated and prayed - morning and night, and a couple made daily gratitude lists, which I've incorporated. Can't afford to get too busy to do this. Someone did online meetings and maintained email contact with members. I'm doing this now, too. Each one also told me how important it was to work with a sponsor I could grow with - someone who would share their ES&H with me. I had a sponsor, but it was someone who was not working out. So, I started calling ALOT of other folks on my various meeting lists. Until I found someone who I wanted to work with. And I switched sponsors.
The results? A newfound appreciation for the program and the people in it. Newfound serenity. A rediscovery of an HP whom I choose to call God. And the absolute conviction that the program really does work.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Gerald B.
Location: lennox CA.
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 6:42:31 PM
hi Ed I got sober right after you did. 3-2-82.I know what you are going through. The first eight years was continuous service. coffee making, meeting chairman, GSR, and DCM. I got to feeling like you. One old timer told me I was burnt out. That I should rest a while and while I was rest be looking around for something else. It worked. The something else I found to do was like Jean p Just mentioned. I started working with newcomers. I would make contact with them in treatment centers and help them get started in AA meetings.
Member: Stephanie M.
Location:
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 6:44:27 PM
The holiday season begins in November with Thanksgiving...ends with the New year. It is a time when everything is stimulated above the norm. To feel a slump at this time of the year seems par for the course. Spring time brings the reawakening. Seems that way to me anyway.
Steph
Member: Lyla D
Location: Polk City, Fl
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 7:29:13 PM
Hi Ed and everyone.
I agree with Gerald B. Sometimes we forget to relax and enjoy our sobriety. Bill called it the "joy of living". I have learned to include some downtime or, I guess you could call it fun time. I love to read so I find new authors or new titles by authors I have read in the past, put on some cd's, light a nice scented candle and read for hours at a time. Another thing I like to do is get a couple of movies out and watch old favorites. I laugh, cry, sing the songs (while my dogs look at me like I'm crazy) and in general enjoy myself. I can do the reading alone and if I want to, I can invite someone over to watch the movies with (they can look at me like I'm crazy, if they want to). I hit some meetings, go out for coffee, talk on the phone, read stupid jokes on the Pot and am learning to celebrate the "joy of living" Love ya'll
Member: Judith Lyons
Location: Melb, Australia
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 7:33:01 PM
Hi,
My name is Judith and I am an Alcoholic/addict.
I was listening to father John Doe and he suggested that if you go to a meeting to get something out of it then you may just miss out. But if you go to a meeting with the intention to Give Something (which is your presence for the New Comer) then you will get something. That helped me a lot as I always have times when I sit at home and think why go what have they got to offer me. Then I remember that I need to go to 'Give' and if by chance I receive then there's the miracle!!
Member: JESSICA
Location: INDY
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 8:39:59 PM
HI ALL, I WROTE IN THE LAST WEEKS DISCUSSION FOR THE FIRST TIME, TWICE. I GUESS I WAS EXPECTING SOMEONE TO RESPOND. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC WHO CAN'T GET IT, I STAY SOBER FOR 2 WEEKS AND DRINK NOT NECESSARILY BECAUSE OF A TRIGGER, I HAVE SCREWED MY WHOLE LIFE UP, INCLUDING JEOPARDIZING MY LIFE AND MY SON'S AND MY MY HUSBAND BELIEVE'S THAT STAYING OUT OF STATE WITH MY FATHER IS WHAT WILL KEEP ME SOBER FOR AT LEAST 30-60 DAYS. I NEED TO BE HOME OR BACK IN INDY, MAYBE GET AN APARTMENT OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I KNOW HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO STAY AT THE HOUSE. I REALLY WANT TO BE AROUND MY HOME GROUP, PEOPLE WHO DON'T JUDGE ME AND I FEEL LOVED. THERE ARE ONLY 2 MEETINGS A WEEK HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. SOMEONE PLEASE RESPOND, I FEEL SO CONTROLLED BY EVERYONE AND ALCOHOL. COMPLETELY DEPRESSED, JESSICA
Member: Scott S
Location: San Diego
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 10:38:29 PM
Hello Im Scott and Im an alcoholic!!! Im glad to be sober a year and a half ! I think the topic is great!!..The Key for me has been service Service Service!!!!!!If I get out of my self It keeps me ! from awfulizing my own situation!!! I am really good at that! My heart goes out to Jessica in Indy!!I was told by my sponsor that Prayer really does Work , and I have found that the more I practice it the more I get out of it1!! Thanx for letting me Share !!!!!!!!!!!
Member: Kevin L.
Location: Ogden, Utah
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 10:38:31 PM
Hi< I'm Kevin, alcoholic. Like Judith, I seem to get more out of a meeting if I go there to help a newcomer better understand how the program of AA has helped me in my everyday life. Sharing what has worked for me and of course what has been a total disaster too. I'm really only there to carry the message and not to be entertained.....thats all for now, thanks
Member: John O
Location: DFW Texas USA
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 10:54:08 PM
My name is John and I am an alcoholic. My last drink was in May of 1982. I know of these slumps from personal experience. The slump, to me, is a signal that there is something not quite right, much like a low grade fever will signal that there is a malfunction in the body. For me, I am able to become more enthusiastic about AA by approaching AA from many different directions. For example, I explore all the internet links I can find about alcoholism, read the Grapevine and try to read all the old Grapevines I can find, go to new groups to meet new members of AA and attend some meetings in groups I've never been to before, attend Big Book study discussions as well as speaker meetings and other specialized meetings, reread the Big Book at least every year, and just generally try to do all that I can to learn what I can about AA that can help me stay sober and assist other alcoholics in maintaining their sobriety. Use your imagination in varying your routine in AA. Maybe you are stagnating because you are like a frog that will only stay in one small corner of the pond and not explore other nooks and crannies of your environment? Variety and new experiences can help boost interest. In many meetings, there will be one sentence, or even one sentence fragment that I will think about for hours and will help me to deepen my level of sobriety. Sometimes I have had to search for this tidbit by attending several meetings to get one really good thought. The 'On the Beam' and 'Off the Beam" posters at our group really hit home with me....I know when I am off the beam what I am like, and it is sad for me and all those who are around me. And I know that about 999 times out of 1,000 I am much more toward the on the beam side of the ledger after attending an AA meeting. Some of those I have disliked in AA or who have bored me to tears in AA have ended up having valuable lessons to teach me. You never know about these sorts of things, and what will be valuable to you later in life and what you might hear that will have an impact n your life. What you say and do will have an impact on the lives of others, sometimes a very profound impact!!! You may never know it, but you have probably been a key factor in saving several lives since you came into AA 20 years ago. Maybe it was something you said or the way you shook a hand. When I first came into AA in the late 1970's(I had some slips in the late 70's and early 80's)the first person I met was a very personable young man who was well dressed and eating a BLT sandwich. He took a few minutes to talk to me, and I still remember it over 20 years later. He was one of the people who helped to save my life, and I have done all I can to pass it on since becoming sober. If you will reflect for a moment on those who are alive now and sober because, in part, of your influence, it will help you to feel like you are in less of a slump. Somehow, I have stayed sober since 1982. And, I don't fully understand it. Which is really something for a guy to say who used to think that he was one of the smartest people on the planet and knew it all!!! Happily for me, I don't have to fully understand AA for it to work for me. AA works and can work even if you believe that you are in a temporary slump!!!
Member: Robin A
Location: Florida
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 11:26:02 PM
Hi (((all))) Robin, alcoholic and addict of MORE here~*~ Jessica~until you want this way of life with every fiber of your being OR until you do as I did and hit a terrible bottom~you may not get it. You have to put the program of AA first and foremost above everything in your life~if you don't your probably going to lose all that other "stuff"; including family, anyway. The ball is in your court. Get other women's phone numbers and CALL them when you need to and even when you don't need to. Make it to the two meetings in your area and also you may want to try asking after or before the meeting if anyone else there goes OUT of town to other meetings when there are none in your area~maybe you could car pool. Put it this way...How far have you gone to get a drink? This program works IF you work it. If you'd like here is my email address: rjamato@homail.com Good Luck and God Bless Robin
Member: Len K
Location: Baton Rouge, La
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:04:19 AM
My name is Len and I am an alcholic. My sobriety date is 2/14/94. I just found out about these meetings on line. I enjoyed the coments and plan to join you in the future. Thanks
Member: joe k.
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:15:10 AM
My name is joe k. and I am an Alcoholic.
I hope you are not like me, and have to fight the assumption that I have been sober too long to have to do what works.
I have periods of time when I am completely bored ? NO ? completely IRRITATED at going to meetings! Sometimes I am irritated at the people in the meetings, and sometimes I am just irritated that I ?have? to go.
My sponsor always told me there were two times to go to a meeting: when I want to; and when I don?t want to. Those times I can ?take it or leave it? are few and far between, but they do happen. The problem with that rationale is that my mind can readily justify a ?take it or leave it? situation at the drop of a hat. Once I am in that slump, I one day look around and wonder who is attending AA meetings these days.
Bob S. from Salt Lake City said it best, ?I get out of things directly proportional to what I put in, often quite a bit more.? My sponsor told me at some point in my recovery, I was going to have to cross that line from being a ?taker? and become a ?giver.?
I won?t fight semantics about whether the program is a ?selfish program? or not, but I know the hole inside of me I have tried to fill with booze, sex, relationships, jobs, and so many other things, has never been filled except in my moments of ?giving.? I don?t go to meetings any more to ?see what I can get out of them.? I go to fulfill the Responsibility statement, to DO the things I was taught to do to stay sober one day at a time, and because, for this drunk, it is the RIGHT THING TO DO.
The problem, as you presented it, is how do I get out of these ?slumps??
Herein lies yet another tool given to me by Alcoholics Anonymous and my sponsor.
First, my sponsor has me sit down and start journaling about my feelings and actions regarding meetings (there is wonderful power in writing crap down). The second thing he has me do is determine how much power I have over those feelings and actions. To the degree I have no power, I am to recognize I NEED power. Then, based on that need, I turn my life and my will over to the One who has Power (first three steps; sound familiar?).
Turning to my journaling, I sort out the things that would qualify as a resentment or one in the making, and I am told to go through the 4th step process as it is outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And of course, that leads me to go through the remainder of the steps with whatever has been uncovered. When I can?t find anything in my journaling to do a 4th step on, my sponsor is always willing to point out where I am conveniently ?blind.?
I have uncovered some extremely difficult things about myself, my past, and my present using this process, oftentimes without the results ever having anything to do with the meetings in the first place.
I am amazed at the simplicity of the ?way of life? the founders of our Fellowship have laid before us in a mere 173 pages. This process only works for me when I do it. I can keep my AA uniform neatly pressed everyday, but it won?t keep me from dying inside. I need people in this Fellowship to point out to me things I conveniently don?t notice. I, like others in the Fellowship, fall too often, only because you and I are what they call ?Human.?
JOHN S from FL ? you are in my prayers. Your honesty touches my heart.
JESSICA from Indy ? Keep going to those two meetings and GET A SPONSOR. If you would like more information about meetings, email me at the address below and I will help you.
God bless you on your journey.
joe k. chillbmp@totalzone.com
Member: kevin j
Location: kansas
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 2:16:43 AM
i have had the same problem of not getting much out meetings .but my sponcer got in the middle of me and his salution to the problem was that i was get less out of them because i was putting in less i have learned the more i put into a meeting the more i can get out of it . im new to this sight and my spelling is bad so please bare with it. thank you and god bless you all
Member: Tom C.
Location: Lewisville, TX
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 3:14:32 AM
Tom C. here. First time visitor.
Seems like this time of year mainly brings about the post holiday blues. I'm sure things will turn around soon.
About me, I've decided to quit drinking and am looking for something that will help. Lately, I keep telling myself that tomorrow I will quit. Tomorrow rolls around and something (actually, anything) will come up and provide me an excuse to have a drink. Once I start, I don't stop. Anyway, I'm promising myself that I will quit today rather than tomorrow, and put aside all the excuses.
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 4:12:11 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I guess I am an oldtimer, I haven't drank and I haven't died.
When I realize that I am thinking or feeling negatively I look to see which character defect is back. Is it selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking or fear. Usually it is selfishness, I want, I don't want. I thouroughly believe in step11 as the daily living program of AA. God's will is to practice step 12, carry the message. That is the reason I go to meetings out of gratitude for what God has given me. Invariably, I hear something that benefits me.
At meetings I hear things that are not part of the AA program as laid down in the Big Book. All I can do is share my knowledge and hope that someone is benefitted.
Sometimes, I am not asked to speak and was teed-off. Then I looked for the positive. This is God's way of teaching me humility. Anyway,
Peace and Serenity
Member: Kathy
Location: Northeast
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 5:37:30 AM
My name is Kathy - I'm an alcoholic.
What a great topic. Here I was sitting alone just scrolling along wehen suddenly I came across all of you feeling just about the same way I do! I,too, am in a slump - have been sober since 1985 and find this happens every so often even after all these years. Or perhaps because of all these years!!!I call it being off track for me - know the way to cure it for me is to become much more involved in AA activities, make more phone calls, read more of our literature, and share in on-line posts. My health is such that I can't easily attend meetings in the winter - miss them terribly. Is where I really feel a part of AA- those hugs are great. My sponsor of 15 years has given up sponsoring because of her own health issues. We are close friends,however. It's difficult to find a new sponsor after all these years. This is obviously something I need to address without further delay. JESSICA -Indy - may I suggest you post on Coffee Pot. You'll probably get more responses. You might also try lower case letters - easier for reader. Good luck -
Member: Laura N.
Location: VA
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 6:52:51 AM
hi,laura here, alchoholic/addict...
Talk about coincidences...was up all night (once again) feeling edgy and irritated after having an up day...though I am relatively new (this time day 3/4) this is my third go around at this and realize this 'slump' is just another way that my alcoholism is trying to re-establish its grip on me. Just writing that lifted some little bit of it...I hate these slumps because they represent a dangerous period in my life but being aware of this is a first clue that I need to reach out more and stop focusing on self concerns and look out more for the welfare of others either within AA or outside of it...it is also signal to me that something is bothering me (and right now that is ALOT)and I need to sit and write in my journal with no counscious thought or intention...letting my HP guide me where I need to go in my writing. I have also found that when I hit these slumps that what I am actually hitting up against is fear/resentment...
Just some thoughts
John S.--my prayers are with you...I was where you are almost 4 days ago...get to that first meeting...
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 8:49:34 AM
Hello everyone, and thanks Ed, good topic. I have been around AA 16 years, 11 1/2 sober continuous this last one day at a time and it does get more and more different. For me, with a small one who is busy with pre-school and the life I have carved out where I have been living, well, meetings are not an every day happening for me, I just can't and don't feel the need. I have to say that online recovery has helped me feel connected and useful to others, in the same way the f2f daily contact did. We have alot of visitors who come through Paris, so they do keep it interesting, as we are a small group. I too am active in Intergroup and perhaps soon to bump up to district level. I sponsor women and answer inquires on our http://www.aaparis.org/ site. Any dry feeling's or slumps that have come my way in AA have worked themslves out and not lasted. I know that I need AA more than it needs me.
((Jessica in Indy)) Please feel free to email me, love to hear from you, we all do care!
Faith and Hope ((Everyone)) janbbparis@yahoo.com
Member: Dave
Location:
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 11:42:18 AM
Dave here an alcoholic. Ed, I went through periods like that at 8-9 years of sobriety, however, I am now quite glad that I got more involved later, as my life depended on that.
I was doing great until a series of tragedies hit my family. You would not believe what kind of a spiritual and emotional wall I hit, but I hit it nevertheless. Had my program been any weaker at 16 years than it was, I would not only have gone out, I'd have probably offed myself in the process. I am now well past that traumatic time, but I am damn glad I had a good connection with the program when s--t hit the fan. I am presently sponsoring a guy who had 20 years and went out for three months and nearly lost everything he'd spent all his sober years acquiring. He is very greatful to have today sober right now, and that is a good thing.
This is a program of action and if I'm coasting, I'm heading down hill. I pray you do not have to go through what I did to make me greatful for my sobriety and for the program again. If you're having trouble haing on to the program, do some service work, take-up an area position, or sponsor some new people so you don't forget where you came from. Keep coming back!
Sober blessings!!
Member: Jim K.
Location: West Texas
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:13:11 PM
Good morning everyone. My name is Jim and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. I am not an old timer--only been sober for about 18 months. I have felt like I'm in a slump at times, though. It has gotten to the point where reaching out to newcomers doesn't even seem to help. But for me, the ultimate solution to ALL problems in my life is exhibiting gratitude through service. Sometimes it is working at the soup kitchen and homeless shelter, sometimes it is doing street outreach with my sponsor, sometimes it is chairing a meeting or just making coffee. Whatever the case, service gets me out of me. I owe this world so much for the damage I inflicted during my years of use, I believe it would take me a hundred years to get back to even.
Jessica from Indy--Please get to all the meetings you can. If you truly want your life to change, get a sponsor, read the Big Book, work ALL the STEPS in ORDER, pray for HONESTY, OPEN-MINDEDNESS, and WILLINGNESS, and get to those meetings. Meetings, prayer, steps, sponsorsip, and literature are the PILLARS of RECOVERY. If you don't take a drink, you will not get drunk. If you don't get drunk, and do what the book says, your life will get different.
Thank you for my sobriety.
Member: Jim C.
Location: Venice, CA USA
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:28:48 PM
My name is Jim, and I am an alcoholic. I recently talked with a man who just celebrated 25 years about this very subject. I've got 5 months 12 days in the program, so I wanted to know about the "walls" he had come up against in his sobriety. He told me he thought the journey was about the walls.
thanks
Member: dave z
Location: berkleymi
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:29:17 PM
Judith...
Thanks for the piece about giving instead of receiving. That's exactly what I needed to hear right now! Do you have any links to Father John Doe? Here in the States some of us "idolize" Father Martin, although I haven't heard much of him lately. Thanks
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:33:28 PM
Hi everyone - Kim here, alcoholic.
Wow, it's been very humbling to read all the shares about the "slump." I've been in one since the birth of my son last June and there I went, feeling quite UNIQUE about the situation. God give me what I need today and that was to read all your shares. Thanks.
I went to a woman's step meeting last night - the first meeting I've been to in over a month. You see, I didn't want to be home and I didn't want to go out and when I don't want to be home with my children and the man I love, something is wrong. So out the door I went on a cold, rainy Sunday night and I am glad I did.
I think that mini-depressions or lack of interest in meetings means, for me at least, that I have hit a wall in growing as a person and I need to push past the growing inertia and take that next step. Looking at myself and working the steps is that next step.
Thanks for listening.
Member: susanc
Location: the lost world
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:36:47 PM
Hi susan here -drunken alcoholic - i keep trying and failing...will get to a meeting tonight...desperately unhappy and causing a great deal of damage in my world...help
Member: Bettybee
Location: Ohio
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:41:26 PM
What a "coincidence". Sober since 1982, lack luster meetings, in an emotional funk. Hmmm. Just happened onto this forum.
Surely, by now we KNOW what to do. It's DOING it.
Had a high school teacher tell me years ago: I've never seen a student do as much as you when you WANT to, and never seen one as lazy as you when you don't FEEL like it.
Have I been waiting to FEEL like doing what I know is best for me? Old Miss Zook knew me well.
Thanks for the topic.
Member: Christy
Location: Louisiana
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 1:24:20 PM
My name is Christy and I am an alcoholic.Had nine months sobriety when the slumps hit and I fell real hard. Lost over a year of my life. I have 9 days now and wish I could be back in those "boring" meeting again. Health reasons are keeping home for the time being. So glad I found this website. I miss so much all the people I shut out of my life. Hope this time I will learn to give instead of take. Starting the road to recovery with all your help. All of the posts have helped. Thanks for letting me share. Christy
Member: art d
Location: mass
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 2:30:47 PM
Hi everone My name is art i am a alcholic.When i first started to come around,you people told me you will get what you need when you need it,this i found very trueand today i found this discussion about the blues""""""I have been down for what reason i cant tell you,its one of these things.I go to meetings I speak when i am ask to I am very actived in my group,i have talked about it to my friends,who are in aa to me its well a post-holiday shits that all i can think of.I am very happy to find this meeting on-line and will be here again thanks to all who have posted comments you have help me stay sober again just for today thanks for letting me share art
Member: Foey
Location: TX
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 5:01:39 PM
Hi everyone I'm Foey and I'm an alcoholic. Last drink was 09/20/93 by the Grace of God and the fellowship of AA. There have been many tools given me since I've been here to help me out of the blues or slumps and I've read a great deal of them here today all have helped at one time or the other, another one that helps me is to thank God for it. Someone once told me to thank him for everything the good and the bad because I don't always know whats good or bad. God has a plan in everything about my life and maybe I don't understand whats going on with me but he always does and that gives me comfort. Jessica, you said you needed to go home. I had to realize (with help of course) that when I got to AA I had no clue what I needed or I won't have ended up where I was. If you really want to get sober call women AA's,take thier suggestions, go to those mettings, and don't drink If you ask God to help you he will. So will we. I've never meet you, but I know what you feel in your guts right now, I've felt it and I found a way out, AND SO CAN YOU. Love and friends in the fellowship Foey
Member: Judith.L
Location: Melb, Australia
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 5:54:00 PM
Hi Dave. Z,
Sorry I do not know of any links to Father John Doe, but I have heaps of his tapes. Is his tapes available to you?? I have not heard of Father Martin.
If you can not get hold of the tapes let me know and I will organise to get you some!!
Love & Rainbows, Judith
Member: JEFF
Location: Ne.
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 8:55:28 PM
HI, I`m Jeff an alcoholic. Well, for me i don`t think i`m in a slump? I just don`t want to go to f2f meetings anymore.I can`t explain it, I`ve been sober for 12 yrs, be 13 in march. I don`t desire alcohol or my old life. I am happy & content with my life today.November my sponser & I went on a 12 step call & talked to this guy, hope we helped him, I felt great told him I would take him to a meeting but we didnt connect, I cant seem to locate him, maybe he don`t want to be found. Sometimes I think I am burnt out on meetings but I still come here & read the postes & comment, when it strikes me. Like what has been said, I know i get out of life what i put into it, the same for AA. Now I can understand why my dad didn`t go to meetings for 10 years or so,he said he wanted to spend more time with mom, didn`t want me to worry (lol). I don`t know if this has helped anyone or not but hang in there , so will I. Jeff
Member: Bill S.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 9:37:04 PM
Hi I'm Bill an alcoholic. I have been sober 33 days now... the worst 33 days I have ever had. I was told to move from my house because I didn't have a building permit when I built it, my wife's car broke down (clutch) and yesterday, my car broke down. So, now we have no home and no car. But.....I'm dealing with it....if I was drinking it would only get worse... I told my wife at least now we have hope. Thanks for listening!
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 9:58:08 PM
Hi, I'm Pam, an Alcoholic,
So many good shares & just as everyone is basically saying - the solution is that simplicity of "our thoughts must constantly be on others"
My 1st sponsor emphasized from the beginning that the way Bill W & Dr Bob STAYED sober was carrying the message to other alcoholics - therefore - the main point in me doing the 12 Steps is not only for me to be sober - but so I will have the message to carry so I can STAY sober
When I reached Step 12, she told me my Step 12 is not "completed" until I have a sponsee of my own so I can continue to grow. She had me read Step 12 in the 12&12 to see that is says we continue growing BY passing it on to others
When I hit my slump several years back - I would actually get up & leave meetings early in disgust - I was SO sick of hearing the same old, same old - & NEVER anything new that I needed! I'd go to another meeting, to different meetings - it would be the same at every one!
I didn't want to go to meetings at all anymore - but because of a previous relapse when I had 6 yrs - & because I spent 6 weeks picking up White Chips daily & could NOT stop (only by the miraculous Grace & Power of God am I here today) I knew better than to stop going to meetings. I felt trapped between a rock & hard place. Kept talking to my sponsor, praying, asking for help.
At same time, I was like a caged rat. I didn't want to go to meetings, I didnt' want to stay at home. I wanted to call people, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to watch tv, I couldn't stand anything that was on. I wanted to hear music, everything I put on went against my grain. I wanted to go shopping, I couldn't handle the idea of dealing with the time it takes to look for items I was wanting.
Finally a fairly new guy at a meeting shared about pg xxvi in DR's Opinion of the Big Book: "restless, irritable & discontent" being the space we're in when we drink. I realized I'm wanting to drink even tho I'm having no thoughts nor cravings! My sponsor sitting with me told me its time to write out another Step 4.
Through that I gained memory of my 1st years in the program - how so many oldtimers were at meetings night after night - most having 15 to 30 yrs sobriety - to share their ES&H so I could get this program & have sobriety also. Where would I be had no one with sobriety been there to pass it on to me?
Selfish, self-centered & self-seeking was the root to my slump-problem.
I switched my Home Group to a nightly meeting at an AA Club that is known as "no sobriety there". It was all the "sent" - the court-ordered, the fresh out of treatment, the chronic relapsers. How COULD there be "sobriety there" if no one with sobriety would go there to pass it on? How could any get a sponsor if there was no one there who has done the Steps?
This not only got me out of my slump but has kept me out of my slump & has kept me growing & is what got me thru some very trying hard times in my personal life over the recent years. Keeps me always freshly reminded where I've come from & very Grateful as well :)
(((Everyone New))) try the Coffee Pot page where we you can post more often & on any topics. Thanks for all your great shares & for letting me share. Pam
Member: JudyA
Location: FL eastcoast
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 10:45:28 PM
Hi everyone. I just got a computer for xmas and have never used one before. Thought I was too old to learn.But, boy am I having fun! Love this computer AA stuff.But I know it's not a substitution for the real deal. I have a few 24hrs., but still must do at least 5 meetings a week. Ah..the slumps. How we wish for them when we're up to our butts in alligators,huh? LOL So many good things have been shared already. I know for me the answer for the slumps and just about all other places is working with a newcomer. It still amazes me how well that works for getting out of self. Ed, (and others), does your local intergroup have a 12stp list? Get on it.The rewards are unbelievable. It feels so good reaching out to a newcomer. And being a "feel good" junkie, I love going there. To all those above who are still drinking...keep coming back. You must want to be sober more than you want to drink tho'. For the fellow with 30 some days who lost his house, wifes clutch,etc....hang in there buddy! You will be amazed what you can walk thru without a drink and the help of AA and all the tools it offers. Remember..there is nothing going on with you today that a drink can't make worse. ODAT family.
Member: Jarrica R
Location: Danielson, CT
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 10:49:37 PM
Hi everyone my name is Jarrica and I am an addict alcoholic. i have been in a bit of a slump myself I don't like the idea of being clean quite yet I was totally euphoric at first but I have been feeling relly down and every meeting I seem to go to is like totally boring and I get pissed and really cranky. i know that it is me and I can change it if I would like to but I don't know how to.I live with 3 other teengers and a 20 year old I am only 16 and I am trying to get this program but I want to be out at parties and having fun but it wasn't fun it was dangerous I seem to remember all of the fun times but I never remember or choose to remember the bad times wich were far greater than the good times. I always wanted to be somebody and now that I have that chance I find myself feeling less than everybody. I relly want to get this is I can graduate my GED classes they have a scholarship for Penn State Florida College for me and I feel as though I don't deserve it. Thank you all for letting me blurt all this out I feel a little better just getting it off of my chest. With that I pass.
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 11:18:51 PM
Hey folks here is a small suggestion for John S. Florida -- Jessica, Indy --- Tom C. Lewisville -- Susan C. --- Christy, La -- click on the Coffee Pot and post there. Read some of the Postings as well. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results. Good luck.
Ed, thanks for the topic. My last drink was 6/20/87 and this is the first time I've felt bored with AA. It started about two months ago and I can't put my finger on the problem. When I was new to AA I asked an old timer if he could pick out one thing that was most important to long term sobriety what it would be. He told me that recognizing when something was wrong and taking action to correct it was the most important single thing he could think of. Well, something is wrong with me right now and I don't know what it is. What I've read so for in these postings is that many of us are suffering the same feelings and what is suggested is that I get off my butt and take some action.
I've a sponsee that I meet with every Wednesday. This last Wednesday I felt slightly ill, so immediately I called him and said I was to sick to meet with him that day and I don't think I was. Just looking for an excuse to lay in bed and read. Also, I resigned three commitments I had in a group that meets at noon for all five of the weekdays and I haven't been back since. That was in November. I had the coffee commitment for my home meeting for the past six months and that was up Sunday, but fortunately I got the literature commitment, so I'm OK there.
Until I read the topic for this week I really didn't realize how serious the doldrums have become. Guess I'd better get busy. I'll start tomorrow by going to a new meeting, or maybe to one I haven't visited in a long time. I'll concentrate on what I can take to the meeting rather than what I can get.
Thanks to everyone that shared.I needed to hear (read)what all of you had to say. I sure do love AA.
Member: lionfish
Location: this is connecticut, usa
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 11:30:09 PM
hi, my name is kristy and i am an alcoholic. ive read 75% of the run here, my eyes get tired, but i feel guilty anyway for not finishing- this is the only meeting i got to today/ ive been thinking about 'tradition' maybe, and how it relates to the program, and how we can project a 'shape' onto the program that can make us tired of what we are experiencing.
my ruts are the inability to listen without judgement, or my forgetting to be aware of what im letting myself hear, and why. my suggestion is to stay in one place, find a meeting where the faces hardly change, go everyday. watch them change/ watch them become aware and unaware, rediscover empathy (relate/ dont compare) ///there is much more movement in stillness/// maybe. i thought about a bottle of wine in my fridge tonight. (my mom's fridge). im praying with a bottle in my mind, the taste of liquor on my tongue without tasting it// im romanticising my dis-ease. romanticizing death & desparation- (not an unfamiliar thought wheel)-
i too have to pray for willingness to pray// what i put in my prayers is so important// its easy for me to pray without any humility, my ego is a power id not choose to reckon with.
indy- one day at a time takes one day to understand- the key is willingness.(?)
sorry for the speech, strangers, im tired anyway. jai and peace. love and light. k.
Member: GenevaC.
Location: Commiskey,In.
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 12:14:19 AM
Hi everyone my name is Geneva and I'm an alcoholic. This is a good topic and I also just found out about these meetings. This is cool cause I have changed jobs and I can't go to very many meetings and now I can with someone maybe sometimes. Jessica only if you want what we have and if your willing to go to any length to get it will you stay sober. Praying, reading finding a sponsor of just a temporary person you can talk with will help. If you'd like contact me at my e-mail and I will talk with you. Also go to meetings 90 in 90 I was taught. Ed I was always told there are 2 meetings you need to go to the ones you want to go to and the ones you don't want to go to. Also there were 3 frogs sitting on a log one decided to jump how many frogs are left? Thanks everyone and it's one day at a time and sometimes you break it down to minutes and seconds. Hope this helps and I will pray for all. Geneva
Member: Dave R
Location: kansas
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 3:00:31 AM
Hi all my name is Dave and I'm a alcholic and new on here,I found this on the computer and and been having VERY hard times, I have been thru treatment 2 times and did good the last time for 5 months, I hit meetings and all and stilll fell back off the wagon and the last few months have been a real terror..I have been married for 14 years and have a nice house in the country and dont want to lose it and with the weird hours I work and limited meetings around here I figure I will get on here and see what I can do... Does anyone have in suggettions, I have given it up again and am having withdrawls what can I do to end these night sweats and this running around like a chicken with my head cut off?? I go to work at 3:30 am and get off at 2:00 pm the meetings are at night this is really rough please give me suggestions thanks
Member: Kathy
Location: Northeast
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 3:21:51 AM
My name's Kathy -I am an alcoholic.
DAVID Z. - if the Father Martin you are referring to is the priest from the Boston area who did so much service work with the homeless, I am sorry to have to tell you he passed away a few years ago. Although he had lost his sight he continuted to come to meetings on a regular basis. As a matter of fact he was scheduled to be the guest speaker at our group anniversary meeting but passed away the night before. We were very blessed to have him among us.
Member: Gage
Location: South
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 3:57:54 AM
Hi, I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Ed. Thanks for the topic. I want to tell you that I went to my first meeting in 1982 as well. I stayed off the booze for a while but started drinking again and continued to drink right on up to a little over ten months ago. The last two years of my drinking, I drank pretty much all of the time. I believe, and in fact I know, that I had become an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. I won't go into my war stories but believe me I've got them. And I won't say too much about how I felt because you already know how I felt. But remember, I had spent some time in AA. So, I wasn't just brimming over with hopes for it when I came back. I was too miserable and self-consumed at the time to know how fortunate I was to have made it back -- a lot of people don't. I talk a good game, but there's really only two things that I can honestly say are different about me ten months later. I don't drink and I have some hopes now.
I'm much more fortunate than a lot of people who come to us. There were still people in my life who I had not used up. I love them and I'm grateful for them, but they are not the people who helped me reach for those hopes (without which I'd be drunk right now). People like you did it, and I'm so glad they were there. Thanks.
Member: Robin A
Location: Florida
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 7:49:17 AM
Kathy~Must be a different Father Martin-this one refered to is alive and kicking. Best known for his "Chalk Talk" video series... http://www.fathermartinsashley.com/
Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 9:16:13 AM
Hi, My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Slumps are also a part of my life since getting sober 8/97. For some reason when I read about yours (Ed & everyone else describing their own) it makes me feel better. This morning it reminds me that I am still alcholic and how I feel does not change that.
We are in this thing together and one alcholic can help another. I really do believe it. The new people help me as much as much as the older AA's. There is a ton of hope.
We can make it. abc & 123 followed by the rest of the steps (p.59&60). Our foundation is our common problem our hope is the solution - I need to remember that I am an alcoholic and that I drank when I was "in a slump" or "on a roll". My experience has been that because of God and AA I have not taken the first drink on the very same type of days that would have found me drunk in the past. Some power greater than me that I found in AA sometimes helps me act differently than the way I feel by continuing to try the steps, and call people, pray, and go to meetings and come here. After that I can do other things too that I don't feel like doing sometimes like cleaning my apartment, or doing laundry or dishes, going to work, paying bills, etc. There is a whole chapter on "How it Works" not why it works. I have no idea why it works and I can't remember anyone ever even trying to explain it. AA works. I believe it works again today. I do not need to know why just how. Reading what you guys say reminds me that how I feel does not matter as much - ups and downs are natural- how I act is very important today. Thanks to everyone for being here.
Member: Allen M
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 10:27:57 AM
Hello ((All)) My name is Allen M. I am an alcoholic my sobriety date is 5-02-01. I am presently in a treatment center in the Los Angeles area and just about to complete the program. I have been on this like euphoric moment where everything seems to be going just great but I have this fear of impending doom and anxiety. I want to reach out and ask the advice of those who might have experienced the same thing. Also I wanted to say to Ed that I myself have been in and out of recovery for over 13 years although I now only have today + 7 months 29 days. I would become complacent and not want to attend meetings it was as though I was hearing the same story over and over again. What I am realizing now is that my disease needs work constantly without thought. I must stay involved and when I feel like I don't want to go I need to get even more involved. I should be willing to take on maybe another sponsee or befriend someone who is new in the program to help me remmeber wher I came from. These are the things that I had not done in the past and lo and behold there I was caught up in my disease because all I knew how to do was to drink and use. There is a solution and working with others is a part of that. Today what I do is help a newer brother in our program here and try to remain grateful for where I am today. Well, I just am thankful that you are all out there to listen to my story and I leave you with this. " Take my will and my life, Guide me in my recovery, show me how to live clean and sober." God's grace adorn you all......
Allen M
Member: Scott K
Location: Northeast
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 12:07:39 PM
Hi, My name is Scott snd I am an alcolholic. Good topic Ed. I have read every comment so far on your topic and it was today after reading Jeff B's input that I realized that he is so right. Ups and downs are very NORMAL for me. I have had them all my life even though I have only been a drunk for a few years. I hate the down times but as Jeff said, Its how I act about them that can carry me. Sometimes its just back to "fake it till you make it". Everyone's input has really helped me this week. Thank you. 2ds
Member: Stan R
Location: SC Michigan
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 12:23:30 PM
I'm Stan and I'm an Alcoholic. And thanks for the great topic Ed. I know just what you are going through.
And I can only add a little to the great things that have been shared here. I have been in these slumps (blues, whatever you want to call them)and have found out an interesting thing. I have to carefully gauge how many meetings I go to and how much I involve myself. I have found that I can get just as screwed up from too many meetings as from too few. I have to find that happy medium between AA and the outside world. I like what someone said about "living life". That's why I got sober in the first place, so that I could live a life. I didn't want to just "exist" anymore.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 12:51:31 PM
While I was drinking it was one continuous slump. I had no friends and no hope. Every day was spent trying to be unconscious. I resented everything that stood in the way of my self-annihilation. These days I still love to sleep, a lazy rainy Saturday, lying in bed, napping and watching TV, eating fattening snacks sometimes sounds like heaven. When I do this, I feel hung-over and disappointed. I fear I am not following the program as suggested and might drink again and I am convinced for me to drink is to die. As has been mentioned here before, I pray and meditate. I don’t run from my feelings, but enter into them with the faith God will show me the way, so long as I don’t prejudice it with my own ideas. Just like with the drinking, if I ask for relief from the bondage of myself, so far, I find myself on the way to the right thing, whether that be getting to my job on time, getting to a meeting or getting in touch with another alcoholic. I am grateful daily for the gift of sobriety. I have been saved so I might help others recover from that hopeless state of mind.
Member: Jessica P.
Location: Indy
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 2:25:22 PM
Thank all of you for or comments. Today, I have decided to go back home, (to Indy) I want to start my life on a sober note. I want my home group and my support system. I also miss my son so much!!! Thank you Jan for your comment I appreciate it. Now, I need to know that once your practicing all requirements, AA, sponsor, big book, meetings, support, prayer how do I rid of the stinkin thinkin, well I have done good, I can have one, no one will know, and I like it, and resent the fact that I am an alcoholic. Why me, I am still young, I want to go out to dinner and be able to have a few cocktails, ect....I hate this!!!!!! I hate all the problems it has caused as well, and w/o God looking out for me it could have been much worse. Confused, Jessica
Member: Jessica P.
Location: Indy
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 2:25:24 PM
Thank all of you for or comments. Today, I have decided to go back home, (to Indy) I want to start my life on a sober note. I want my home group and my support system. I also miss my son so much!!! Thank you Jan for your comment I appreciate it. Now, I need to know that once your practicing all requirements, AA, sponsor, big book, meetings, support, prayer how do I rid of the stinkin thinkin, well I have done good, I can have one, no one will know, and I like it, and resent the fact that I am an alcoholic. Why me, I am still young, I want to go out to dinner and be able to have a few cocktails, ect....I hate this!!!!!! I hate all the problems it has caused as well, and w/o God looking out for me it could have been much worse. Confused, Jessica
Member: Matt N.
Location: Syracuse
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 2:38:29 PM
HI Ed, I find that when I am in a slump I can get out of it by helping other drunks through thier problems.It takes the focus off myself.With 20 years sober you should have plenty of people to help so that should not be a problem.Live in the solution not the problem.
Member: Bobbye E.
Location: McKinney, TX
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 2:41:57 PM
Bobbye E. Real Alcoholic:
Its always so comforting to relate to my fellow zebras. Thank you big.
I have been wrestling with slumps, and the post holiday blues leveled me this year. My life is better than its ever been, in a good healthy relationship, love my home, like my job ok, am satisfied with the goals I am working toward, school have a small business too. I go to meetings, do service work, am active in my prayer life and family. My life is rich, the loves in my life get regular attention, my recovery daily vigilence for without sobriety I have nothing in short order.
I go to more meetings and share just as I am here. I read the black part of the book. Isn't that 4th edition exciting! I call my sponce and tell the truth bout how I am doing. I check my HALT list (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). Sometimes I just clean house, car, office, making a comfortable place to be, to fill in the time till the blah's pass. When all else fails, I go home, go to bed early, thank God for my sobriety and try again tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 4:27:11 PM
I am an alcoholic I had having many slumps especially during the christmus times and while I was traveling which is not good i discussed it with my sponsor it puts us at a very high risk of loosing our sanity and throw us back into relapse. I saw these urges I decided to attend more meeting and more meetings to get these urges out of head. thanks to aa and alanon.
Member: Jessica P.
Location: Indy
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 4:34:34 PM
Thank all of you for or comments. Today, I have decided to go back home, (to Indy) I want to start my life on a sober note. I want my home group and my support system. I also miss my son so much!!! Thank you Jan for your comment I appreciate it. Now, I need to know that once your practicing all requirements, AA, sponsor, big book, meetings, support, prayer how do I rid of the stinkin thinkin, well I have done good, I can have one, no one will know, and I like it, and resent the fact that I am an alcoholic. Why me, I am still young, I want to go out to dinner and be able to have a few cocktails, ect....I hate this!!!!!! I hate all the problems it has caused as well, and w/o God looking out for me it could have been much worse. Confused, Jessica
Member: Carolyn
Location: southeast
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 4:41:59 PM
carolyn - alcoholic - hello family - hope all is well with everone - you all are great - and loved - 82 was a good year for me too
have always been told if you do not remember your last drunk then you have not had it yet. nothing can take me back like someone new - as have said many times AA has opened the gates of h--- and set me free - a short walk down memory lane will bring me to my knees with a thank you dear HP - it always helps to get out of self - self will kill me in a heart beat - thank you for all you have given me - if i have anything that you think you can use - please take it - only reason it is here is cause you gave it first - we keep me happy and sober - alone i am a mess - thanks for being here i need you in my life - carolyn
Member: Fred B Good
Location: Sunny South Florida
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 6:19:48 PM
Ed, Try cycling the meetings or contacts. Add veriety take a course in addiction, meditation, or spirit. I do the same thing as you I go head strong then I fall off. Back off the meetings some (obviously dont quit). Sounds like your out of balance. Each person has there own happy medium. When I go to to many meetings I fall off too. 90 and 90 is best for beginners. Dont be fooled though the older you are the worst the obsession. If you you take a sip you'll take a dip.
Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 7:52:56 PM
Hi Ed alcoholic,
I too have been in the slump before. I find the first thing for me to do is pray. I sit down and think of all the things I've been through from drinking, I do not wish to go back there. I've been to meetings where I don't get much out of them but I know that I have to keep coming back. Talking to other alcoholics helps me because they do understand what the disease is all about. Plus they give me the strength and support I need. I like what Joe K's sponsor said, there are two times when you go to meetings: when I want to, and when I don't want to. Thanks-Keep going to meetings.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 8:46:58 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers!
Great topic, Ed. I've had my share of "sitting in limbo" over the years. When a particularly uncomfortable period of this ocurred several years back, I shared this with my sponsor and told him I was worried that this might lead to a drink. he asked me how my program was going. I told him that I was still active in service and was practicing the steps to the best of my ability. He responded, "Then don't worry about it."
He was right. Those uncomfortable and unfamiliar feelings passed without me picking up a drink, and now I consider what he said to be one of the best pieces of advice he gave me. I'm only human, and not to expect to have feelings like you've described every once in a while is an unreasonable expectation.
Member: France L.
Location: Northern Ontario
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 9:43:28 PM
HI everyone. This is a first for me here at stayingcyber. Great shares!! Where would we be without slumps? Wouldn't it be great if life was a smooth sail across the ocean??? NOT It would probably be boring. I like to think that I want to happy all the time, but it's impossible... I had a slump last fall, wanted to quit going to this group that's been my home group for the last 15 years. Today, I glad I stuck it out. Who knows maybe, I'll feel the same way about this group next year... thing is, here in our remote area... I really haven't got to many groups to choose from. Drop a group and I drop from 2 meetings bi-weekly to 1 meeting bi-weekly. The best cure I've found for slumps is to start working on my gratitude list. As long as I'm sober I have that to be grateful for plus much more. And Ed that's exactly like I felt last fall, I didn't seem to be getting anything out the meeting... you know what I did... I got online, checked out some fantastic AA web sites, and started printing out some great tidbits, jokes etc.. and passed them around at meetings... I guess just the fact that I was giving instead of looking to see what I can GET made the difference. Thanks for being here. Happy 24 hours.
Member: shannon d.
Location: Illinois
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 10:25:15 PM
My name is Shannon, and I am still a bit unsure if I am an alcoholic. I wrote last week, and not one person responded at all to my comments. Since then I have drank 3 times and have gotten in 2 arguments with my boyfriend because I was drunk. I drink quite a bit, but I am still unsure if I am an alcoholic or lack willpower. I am still in my 20's and my social life still revolves much around alcohol. I am a bit worried about my habits, but I could use some advise. Alcoholism runs in my family, which worries me even more. I have never been to an AA meeting yet, and I am a bit discouraged because no one responded to my mediocre cry for help last week. This week, I have read about so many people who are doing so well with their sobriety, but what about those of us who are just getting started?
Member: Annie K
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 10:43:42 PM
Great topic for me, too. I haven't posted here in awhile, but came in and saw what I needed! I'm sober since 1990, and I've hit some slumps regularly. I thought I'd get sober and life would be a bowl of cherries. I think because I'm a drunk that things like this are a big deal. The truth is(I've decided) what I finally got is a normal life. Somedays it rains and some days the sun shines. I think personally, that I need to get over myself. LOL My worst slump was at 5 years when I moved to a new city and felt so alone. I cut down my meetings to 1 every couple of weeks instead of 5 or 6 a week. Figured out later that the reason I was so miserable was DUH-maybe 26 meetings that year as opposed to 300 the year before. Wasn't rocket science. I have tools for these times that include a telephone, a gratitude list, and beginners meetings. Nothing will make you feel better than realizing you don't have to be in that first year of sobriety again. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Annie K
Location: Still in the Hills
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 10:46:37 PM
PS--Shannon d from Illinois---check out the coffee pot link. You can email me if you want to talk--anniekelley@msn.com
Member: Trey R.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 11:20:08 PM
Hi, I'm Trey and I'm an alcoholic. I'm 29 and have been an active alcoholic since I was 15. I have been in and out of rehab, in and out of AA. Been out now for a year, just went back to my first meeting again tonight. I can't tell you how scared I am. As much as I hate my life drinking, the thought of not drinking scares me silly. Since I left AA last time, my wife left me, I got in an accident while drunk (thank God the only one hurt was me) and have sunk into total despair. I am desperate to turn my life around. I'm also scared that I won't magically be a better person since I've stopped drinking, which I know won't happen. Looking at myself in a harsh, sober light is not something I'm looking forward to. Well, that's it, just wanted to say hi.
Member: GRea
Location: In
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 11:36:58 PM
shannon d from illinois i just started reading this aa stuff on the net and i would like to tell you if your unsure then contact me at my e-mail address and we can talk. i am very sorry no one responded to your call for help. i believe in this program and it has worked for me one day at a time. this is a very good topic and i screwed up my frog thing yesterday it is made a decision to jump how many were left? oh well leave it to an alcoholic to get it right all the time. also jessica contact me if you want too. slumps are a challenge in life on life's terms you all know pink clouds and grey and even black sometimes but if we work the program and use our tools of sobriety that we are taught in our everyday life it works. no matter how long we're sober we still have challenges. you girls drop a note if you want and i will check the coffee pot thing for response. another 24 another miracle. G
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 11:54:28 PM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
Shannon, if you have got drunk more than once you are probably an alcoholic. When I came in I did not know what my problem was or what to do about it. I needed knowledge and had to go to AA meetings to find the answer.
I have learned that my problem was wrong beliefs and that here I found 12 new beliefs(steps) that have solved my problem. I am now a recovered(not cured) alcoholic.
To understand step 1 I had to answer 2 questions. Why did I get drunk? and why did I take the first drink? Every alcoholic takes the first drink to change how I feel. The trouble is that my body is allergic to alcohol(physically).When I put alcohol in my body a craving starts and I can't stop drinking.
There is no cure for an allergy except keep away from alcohol. That is OK if I can find a different way of changing my feelings and the only correct way is to change my thinking. When I did the steps that changed my thinking so that I don't have the negative feelings anymore.
Now I know why I am powerless over alcohol(allergy) and my life is unmanageable(wrong thinking). I learned a new definition for a manageable life: to be happy, joyous and free.
Shannon, your best bet is to find someone who can teach you what each step means. I learned most of my knowledge from the Big Book. I thought I was fairly smart but luckily(God maybe) I decided to use a dictionary to help me understand what I was reading. This literaly changed the program to one that worked wonders for me.
Whether you believe in God or not use this simple prayer "God help me" to become willing to learn. It works!
Peace and Serenity
Member: Lyla D
Location: Polk City, Fl
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 11:59:21 PM
Jessica, Jarrica, Shannon and everyone else that is having a problem. I was 28 when I made it into the program and I hadn't had any fun drinking since I was about 22 (when I got pregnant while drunk). And believe me, that wasn't any fun! You have my empathy and my prayers. Feel free to e-mail me at ldragonreader@aol.com. I will be happy to talk with any of you. You are not alone in this, the people here and in meetings will do anything for you, just ask. Love y'all
Member: Muniece
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 3:37:57 AM
Hi All, Muniece, Alcoholic and I absolutly LOVE being sober. The only time I find myself in a slump is when things are not quite going as I expected or want them too. I seem to want to be happy all the time but that Big Book tells me that I'm restless, irritable and discontent a lot of the time. But when the slumps do hit, I volunteer time to a recovery home. They ALWAYS need volunteers and have plently of newcomers. Been sober 13 years-no relaspses.
Member: Kerry
Location: Maryland
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 6:47:20 AM
Hello, I'm Kerry and I'm an alcoholic. I used to tell myself, and sometimes still do, that I "deserved" to relax. I "deserved" to have fun. I "deserved" to say F_ck it! and chill out for a night. Inevitably, my well-deserved relaxing night turned into drama: I'd lose my car, drink with people I wouldn't be caught dead with today, fight with a friend, cry because I didn't know the meaning of life or my purpose in it (this was the cry of a profound brilliant person by the way - that noone understood), spend all my money. Then after all that relaxing, I wake up to such a hang over (and cigarette hangover too) that my hair hurt. All that relaxing, helped me to justify forgetting about my reposibilities (my dogs, my relationship, my money, you name it).
I'll take a rut any day.
Thanks, kerry
Member: Christine B.
Location: Defiance OH
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 7:48:33 AM
Good Morning Everybody!!I'm Christine and a grateful recovering alcoholic.I can really relate not getting to the tables as I should....I haven't been to a meeting in 6 yrs...BUT fortunately all my friends go to the meeting and as we put it...where 2 or more gather...reason for the absents from the tables is work and family related.However I do live the program and I have daily meetings with a few friends on a daily basis weather by phone or even at the local coffee shop.But the great news is that this weekend I will finally be going to a meeting....thank God its always been my fav..midnite candle lite..can't wait!!!
Member: mike m
Location: west
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 9:27:37 AM
Hello, my name is mike and i am an alcoholic. i have made a lot of mistakes since i got sober but i didn't drink. When i go to meetings and talk about my mistakes or wrongs and the solutions i have found in the 12 Steps i am not to far off the track. i also go to meetings today not for what i can get but for what i can give. With that attitude there is always work for me to do in AA and i never leave a meeting feeling flat. What does the book say, we have to give it away to keep it. Get into action. This is not a think program, this is a do program.
Member: Cary P
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 2:45:58 PM
Hello all:
I've read many testimonies and attended a few of these online discussions for a while now and realized I'm not the only one out there who drank a little bit above average. I was depressed due to financial issues and figured that a nice shot of whatever could ease the pain. I suppose not. When the alcohol wears off all the problems are still there if not new ones. Today (for 2002) i just kicked the bucket altogether. Wasn't what I expected. I actually get more done not drinking and don't have to worry about getting pulled over, going to jail for DWI related stuff; etc. I picked up a new (old) habit; :) Eating chocolate ever since I quit. Not completely good for you but you never have to worry about hurling over the toilet from a Reeses.
Member: Like It Is!!
Location: Everywhere
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 3:12:29 PM
I have had much experience with having trouble at AA meetings! I started out wanting to learn how to stop drinking, for it was killing me! But as time went on I started to run into difficulties at the meetings! It wasn't in the beginning, but many years after I first started going! I was trying to follow what the Big Book was telling me and running into all kinds of hostile opposition! So I went that route of examining what I was doing wrong, and I couldn't find anything that would bring such opposition to want to concentrate on the spiritual aspects of the program, when they were 1000 times better than they are today! The meetings today are packed with sick people that are either not trying or just cannot get spiritually well! They carry that proverbial "soul-sickness" into every meeting, and destroy them! So I just packed it all in and know in my heart that AA just is not capable any longer of doing what it did many years ago! But if it helps you keep going! As for me it just makes things worse!!
Member: Peggy D
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 4:43:31 PM
Hello Everyone First time visitor. I'm still scratching my head wondering if i am an alcoholic or I just have a habit that I don't want to give up. But I do want to stop drinking I just don't. I know when my husband comes home we will have a few cocktails while we talk about the day even though I know I could lose the 20 unwanted pounds I'm carring around. I would like to become more productive in the evenings but I don't change my ways I can very much relate to Tom C (good for you Tom, and good luck) I don"t know if today is the day I want to do It. I wonder how I will enjoy a party? A vacation? Just like dieters I just wish I could take a pill. Maybe someone can point me in the right direction. AA meetings are out of the question as I work 50 sometimes 80 hours a week and I travel all over the country. P.S. About the blues... This time of year is great for producing the blues and don't forget we have had short days for some time now and I know that gets to me. Thank You!
Member: MIKE M
Location: NC
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 7:32:30 PM
BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME STAYING SOBER AM SOBER RIGHT NOW BUT HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING FOR 2 YEARS, I RELASPED AFTER ABOUT 8.5 YEARS SOBER
Member: a friend of Shannon
Location:
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 2:57:37 AM
Shannon, there is only one way to know if you aren't able to stop drinking and that is to try. If you end up drunk when you don't intend to be, you may be an alcoholic. If you have ever told yourself that you are not going to drink at some occasion and ended up drunk, you may be an alcoholic. If you have ever tried to drink just a little and ended up drunk, you may be an alcoholic.
You're the only one who knows whether your intentions and what actually happens are the same thing, so you're the only one who can say whether you have a drinking problem. I will say though that usually when a person asks about whether they have a drinking problem it's because they know they have a drinking problem. I don't know, maybe you just woke up one morning all clean, bright, and sober and said, "Hmm, I wonder if I have a drinking problem." Is that what happened?
I hope you are not an alcoholic, but if you are, I hope you'll get help with that now. Because, believe me, it will not just go away.
Member: G.P. to Shannon
Location:
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 3:27:52 AM
Shannon, there is only one way you'll ever know whether you have a drinking problem and that is to try to stop drinking or try to control your drinking. If you can't, then you may be an alcoholic. If you ever wind up drunk when you didn't intend to, then you may be an alcoholic. If you've ever decided that you wouldn't drink and ended up drunk despite it, you may be an alcoholic. If you've ever found yourself drinking when you were supposed to be doing something else, and you don't know why you're drinking, there's a good chance you are an alcoholic.
Here's some food for thought: Did you just wake up one morning all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and say, "Hmmm, I wonder if I have a drinking problem"? That would be unusual if you did. I'm not being ugly to you. But think about it. Do people who are not experiencing some problems with their drinking even have to wonder whether they are alcoholics?
You're the only one who knows. Well, that's really not true. If you're an alcoholic, sooner or later everybody will know it. But you are the only one who counts, because you're the only one who can ask for help for yourself.
By the way, here's how I was first told that I'm an alcoholic, (it was unsolicited): "Get out of here, you drunk. You're fired!"
I hope you are not an alcoholic, but if you decide you may be, I hope you'll continue to make contact with AA. One thing's for sure. Alcoholism will not just get up and go away.
Member: Peter T.
Location: The Netherlands
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 9:38:26 AM
Hello. I am Peter an alcoholic living in The Netherlands. I have 8+ years of sobriety thanks to God and the fellowship of AA.
I am new to this forum. Great topic Ed. I agree this time of year is conducive to slumps. Short days, post holidays, the weather... The good news is the days are already getting longer (in north hemisphere anyway).
I am slumped also because I have been out of work since July. Financially ok, but find it hard to get motivated. I find myself getting more isolated. I am asking God for help, praying and being more focusse on The Program. I read the first 30 pages of the Big Book this morning (haven't done that in a while). I am in the process of doing a second 4th step. Also more service work.
I am already doing some online service work. If anyone has a specific question about the AA, sobriety, how it works or you just need to chat just email me at: neuweg@myrealbox.com
Member: Misty D.
Location: California
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 12:35:53 PM
hi,this is my first time on this site. My name is Misty and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for only 5 months now but it feels great. But those slumps come and go and times get hard. The thing to remember is just not to take that deadly drink. It took alot for me to learn that being drunk is not what I want out of life. Anyways I need all the help I can get to continue my sobriety. But I am off to a great start. If anyone has any good AA sites please let me know.
Member: chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 1:14:11 PM
Chris Here--acoholic/addict/bulimic---To Shannon--I heard someone in my homegroup say one thime tnat if she got to heaven and found out that she wasn't an alcoholic, it wouldn't bother her, because A.A> had been such a fantastic way of living for her...LEaving Alcohol out of her life had been a minor exchange for the beauty of living this program one day at a time. I feel the same way. ---As for slumps, I have certainly had my share of them. But I try to remember that this too shall pass--if I don;t take that first drink...put one foot in front of the other and work my program... just plod through working the steps even when it feels boring and as if I am not getting the results I want. Eventually, the miracle will happen and the promises will come true. The danger is to give up...and believe me I have had my times when I have been tempted...I have heard it said if you give up when you are in the desert, you will never get to the oasis. I have really learned that in my life...even if I have had some failures, My HIgher Power has been gracious enough to get me throught those times without drinking, I have learned just to persevere in what I know that I must do (meetings, sponsor, call, work with others...just as everyone else has said.) Thank heavens that our HP does for us what we can't do for ourselves. See you next week!
Member: mary K
Location: NE Ohio
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 4:40:19 PM
I blame the "slumps" on the time of year; espicaly this year. Since 9/11 everyone has gone ouy of their way to help others, I felt a sense of community in the world that i never felt befor; then came the holidays and everything went in to overdrive. Now it has come to a sudden stop. My Lupus is flaring, my fobromyalgia is acting up, my diabetis is out of control because of the meds they give me for other stuff, but at least I'm still able to talk to friends and family. I know I have clinical depression, i wonder how many more of us are out there? As long as I continue to talk to my HP I can make it thru another second, minute, hour and day. Thank god I have my Grandchildren at times like this; the sweet laugh of an inocent is pretty hard not to smile at. Not everything is rose-colored though. We burried an 18 yesar old daughter of my best friend last week. I guess God needed her more than we did. Mark B. Thank-You for what you are and what you do . My prayers are with you . Stay safe. Thanks to every one for just being here. P.S. Maybe it's because the Cleveland football season is over...hmmmm
Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 5:15:11 PM
The slumps, I guess that's the best I can hope for at the moment. I am taking the break from service work, I am looking to jump deeper into the spirituality side of my program, and I'm returning to the basics. Go to the book, both the "Big Books." Right now I'm awaiting the death of my oldest sister, who got me to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, then returned to the drinking world herself. She's not in any comfort, and hasn't been since the 28th of December, massive heart attack. Drinking, smoking and whatever, as always, and she's 49 years old. I just needed to share that with you all. Women go quicker than men I'm told. I love this program and there are times that it is a pain in the butt to be around people, outside of work, I've been making my regular group meetings, but I think I need a little change of scene too. I know that it will do me good to visit some of my other friends at a different meeting or two. Thanks gang of the net, I needed the input I got from the posts. I need to remember that I am not alone anymore.
Member: Jerry O
Location: Midwest
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 5:27:35 PM
This is my first look at this site and I hope to visit it frequently. I am sober today and will worry about tomorrow when it gets here. I went through the feelings that AA meetings were not worth the effort after over 17 years in the program. I stayed sober for a couple of more years then ater retiring startrd experimenting with wine at dinner, It didn't work and while I haven't got back in the shape Dave R mentions, I decided to get back in AA on a regular basis. Dave, I wemember the night sweats and disorientation and feel for you but you know it won't get better until you simply stop drinking. AA is the only answer I ever found.
Member: Rachel P
Location: Indiana
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 12:57:38 AM
Hi. I hope that somebody can help me please. I can not stop drinking and I do not want to stop drinking, but I know I have a problem that seems to be getting worse. I didn't drink on Monday or Tuesday, but last night I got trashed again. I am in college, but I am not getting wasted at parties, just in my room. I don't even talk to people very much anymore. It is really weird, but that is all I think about. I have stories that are so bad that I can't even let myself think about them. I am not even 21 yet. The hang overs are not enough motivation for me to stop, I don't think I believe in God, my parents are oblivious, and I make sure nobody knows. I talk to people and they don't even know that I just did shots and the room is spinning. I just go into my room and pass out by myself. I didn't drink today. My chest hurts so badly. I have no motivation to stop, so am I just hopeless? If I could have a drink right now, I would probably drink all night. This is embaressing and I don't want anybody to know. I have been questioned, but I always laugh it off. Why should I change? I try to find a reason inside, but there is none. AA by the way is out of the question. I do not have a car here, and there would be no way to hide it from my close friends. Is there any other alternative?
Member: ken
Location: new york
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 2:12:03 AM
hi everyone i'm ken and i'm an alcoholic.i've been sober for 16 months now.the first 90 days were tough but the six through tenth month were the best i have felt in years.Lately by nobodies fault but my own i have been missing meetings and starting to feel depressed again.I want the feeling i had in the beginning of my sobriety again.I am just having trouble getting myself back into meetings.i am starting to feel the way i did when i was drinking and i don't want to go back .i also have been having urges lately which scare me .
Member: jess a
Location:
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 4:16:38 AM
hello everyone, my name is jess and i am a us marine stationed in okinawa. i have been involved in AA for only about 6 months so i am fairly new. i am having a hard time working the steps. the whole higher issue gets me. any suggestions??
Member: DENNIS K
Location: MI
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 4:59:53 AM
HELLOW DENNIS ALCOHOLIC JESS ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? IF YOU HAVE AS MANY REASONS AS I DID TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY DRINKING.you can find a higher power that WILL restore you.i owe my life to AA and my god today. but it did not come overnight. just dont drink.and read the book.this was all they told me and all i can say is give it a try. i didnt understand for a very long time. but whats my choice? live like i was? not an option. but try to have hope i will do any thing not to be drunk today give yourself a break
Member: Richard D.
Location: Centreville, VA.
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 10:41:03 AM
Reply to Jess from Okinawa. Jess, one of the best parts of this program is that you get to pick your higher power. Hopefully you can realize that your life is unmanageable and that you are powerless. Your best thinking got you where you are now. However, A.A. as whole seems to have the ability to give people the strength to stay sober and do the right thing. So for the time being you could use A.A.(The group. Definitely not one particular individual)as your higher power until a different or more suitable conception of GOD(Good Orderly Direction) comes along. I just had to realize that there I was a power greater than myself and that I wasn't it. Thank you for your service to our country. I too was a Marine (3/5) 1988-1992 and was in Okinawa in 1990. The Marine Corps can be a very difficult place to stay sober. Just don't drink and do the next right thing.
Richard
Member: Celeste C.
Location: Connecticut
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 1:45:57 PM
To: Rachel P. in Indiana Celeste, addict/alcoholic There may be alternatives to AA, but the first decision is to ADMIT that you have a problem, which it sounds like you think that's a possibility. The ACCEPTANCE of the fact that your life becomes unmanageable because of your drinking comes in time. Just the fact that you posted here indicates a beginning. Do you want to stop drinking? That has to come first. The twelve steps of recovery are a beneficial way of life to anyone who wants to improve. Good Luck! Celeste(cfnine@peoplepc.com)
Member: Bill M.
Location: Cape Cod Ma. 02657
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 2:29:32 PM
Thanks to Ed for topic, and to all members who have commented. I truly get what I need by being Honest, Open, and Willing. If I picked a topic it would be this. By listening to other sober people, and being open to suggestions, I have learned that I can start my day over again by getting on my knees, and asking a power greater than myself to help me. I just did that, than ended up here. Thank you fellow A.A. members for being there when I need you.
Member: Gwen
Location: St Louis
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 3:14:30 PM
Hi, Gwen, alcoholic...I have heard in meetings that you can't save face and your a## at the same time,,,Rachael..I hope you use this site until you are able to get to a face to face meeting with other young women who have been where you are. Frequently when we are thinking of our situations, we feel unique, ie:drinking alone and crazy thoughts and behavior...but there isn't anything you have done that one of us hasn't done or thought of doing...in all the comments up to now, even when people with longer term sobriety talked about their "slumps", I didn't read one who said that it was better when they were drinking. I wouldn't trade (as they say) my worst day sober, for my best day drunk. And believe, me, we have all experienced that (p)ainful, (a)nd (i)ncomprehensible (d)emoralization which is how we p-a-i-d our dues to AA...I am so grateful to be sober and to not have a hang over today.
Member: Betty B
Location: Ohio
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 4:27:26 PM
Member: Bettybee
Location: Ohio
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 4:32:15 PM
Rachael:
The fact that you commented on this site says something about what you feel about your drinking. . . kinda "wanna wanna" stop. You could consider (even tho you say you do not believe - besides, that's got nothing to do with it) asking God to give you the desire to stop drinking. You don't have to go passed that for right now. You've got nothing to loose - try it.. . . with love . . .
Member: Lyla D
Location: Polk City, Fl
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 7:50:34 PM
Peggy D. Lyla, alkie here. My first 5 months sober I worked 100 to 120 hours a week, still went to meetings everyday and got a sponsor and talked with her. If YOU WANT what we have, you must be willing to go to any lengths to get it. Try a meeting or two, big city like Philly has LOTS of meetings. Give it a shot, it might surprise you.
Member: walter s
Location: greenville ny
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 8:02:53 PM
thanks everyone for being here,Ive just found this place and I hope to be here often I've been sober 10 years now and a member for a long time before that[keep coming and AA will get you]the first step is a desire to stop drinking ,and now I have a desire to continue growing in sobriety I'm still amazed at the difference AA has made in my life ,and I need to see[hear]the newcomer and old timers alike to center myself its in you people that I find a comfortable reality and its here i want to stay so thank you all for giving me a life beyond my wildest dreams
Member: billie
Location: lompoc calif
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 8:57:05 PM
bill s. from calif. no building permit????
hey you can always push your broke down cars together,..and have a two room condo!!!!!!!
Member: Anne M.
Location: Alberta
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 10:19:33 PM
My name is Anne and I am an alcoholic.
At 14 months sober, I have had the luxury of no hangover due to alcohol...no dry heaving, no headaches..everything is just a little rosier with out the rosè wine. The steps work..they seem to incur a hangover of another sort...my past, all those "issues" and dark spots, that I hid from while drinking. 30 years of stuff, one by one. I can't do it without AA, because these people have been through it. My husband doesn't understand, he is also an alcoholic, slowly with a growing desire to stop, but has yet to. If you're new here, hang in there...if you're not...also hang in there...we're all in this together, and to fight this alone, you're only swimming in shark infested waters. AA has been a life boat for me.
Member: charlie.p
Location: pinellas park fl.
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 10:37:17 PM
Hi cyber-family,who ever thought 20yrs ago I'd ever be saying that.My name is charlie and I AM a grateful alcoholic in recovery! My heart goes out to several of the newcomers,I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I will tell you though that it does get better,[only by the grace of GOD] I would refer you to page 133 of the big book,"we could not subscribe to the belief that this life was meant to be a vail of tears, although it once was just that for many of us... I am here to tell you how wonderfully blessed I felt when I began to understand this concept. I am truly amazed at this life[sobriety]and it is certainly before I am half way through. I love each and every one of you simply for being here, something it took me many years to be able to say. GOD BLESS.
Member: G Rea
Location: In
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 11:22:14 PM
hey everyone good topic still i have read all week and this note is to jess i too had a problem with a higher power but i believe now and i am sober 2and 1/2 years but i have today. one day at a time. as far as the steps you have the rest of your life. do you have a big book and if you do read the first 164 pages and then talk to me if you wish it will explain alot. by the way the first 3 steps was simplified for me i can't, someone can, and i'm gonna let them. it doesn't matter what you believe in and for you obviously your country is one thing you believe in so try that for a while it might work. god as you understand him. when i was in treatment my counselor said god was a group of drunks which helped me for a while. my e-mail is Grea105@cs.com if you wish to talk with me or anyone else out there who needs a friend i will try. take care all looking forward to reading more. G
Member: Ra
Location:
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 1:57:52 AM
This seems to be a very LONG week!!!!!!!!
Member: Gary G
Location: AlaskA
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 6:21:11 AM
My name is Gary and I am an acholic, (4/19/81) What a great tool this web sight is for staying sober. To the person who gets on first he gets all kinds of suggestions to his problem. My suggestion is start over like a newcomer 90 meetings in 90 days a chain is as strong as its its weakest link. Try some different meetings. This to shall pass.
Gary G.
Member: Richard F.
Location: Houston Texas
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 6:31:36 AM
My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.I have to remember what I am or who I am don't make a damn. I have been sober since Feb 3 1995.I attend meetings daily since the last seven years and have those slumps too. There is a spiritual axiom that everytime we are disturbed there is something wrong with us.(pg 90. 12x12).It also says no matter what the cause. In working with others 1st paragraph. Practical experience show thst nothing so much insures immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.It works when other activities fail *service work included. A friend of mine suggested that if you want what you had when you got here you have to do the things you did when you got here. There are five simple things you can do every day that will form a crude spiritual program in your life. 1 Pray 2 Make a meeting 3 Read the Big book 4 Share with another Alcoholic 5 Do something for someone else expecting nothing in return.
I try not to be a big book thumper but most of my answers come from there.Pg 164 says your real reliance is always on God and he will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. It also says that those who fail to perfect and enlarge there spiritual life will be unable to handle the certain trials and low spots up ahead. Hope this helps some.Service work is carrying the message to those that still suffer. I suffer to sometimes and would appreciate any chance to work with others but sometimes I stand on the bridge of reason to long. Faith is not the absence of fear but the ability to walk through it.Ask him what you can do for the man who is still sick and the answers will come if your own house is in order. Love this program it is my life without it I am of no use to anyone else including myself. Hope this helps.May God bless you and keep you as we walk in the fellowship of the spirit. Love Richard F. 2-3-95
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Member: Sylvia T.
Location: Canada
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 1:54:27 PM
Hi Just a note for John S. Keep coming back. Take the body the mind will follow. Attendance shows willingness.
John H. Thanks for reminding me that the "URGE" is only "DORMANT"
Sue Thanks for your comment that growth spurt follows flat times.
Ed: I too have been to meeting and thought that I did not get anything out of them but that is when I turn and look at myself and see what else I can do. This usually helps as long as I keep searching and reaching out and giving what I can.
Thanks everyone
Member: Steve
Location: Florida
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 3:31:00 PM
Hi everyone. I'm Steve and I'm an alcholic.
Ed, usually when I'm in a slump, it's because something is missing in my life, particularly in my sobriety. That's when it's time for me to get back to basics. Meetings seem to revive me from the daily grind and when I fall into a slump, I try to increase my meetings, sponsor contacts, and ... well, everything. Bottom line ...when my car is broken, I don't take the engine completely apart. I work on the basic stuff first to see if that solves the problem.
Rachel, if you THINK you have a problem, you probablu do. For years, I rarely drank alone, but when I did drink at parties, I usually got drunk. But my disease of alcoholism progressed to the point to where I eventually began drinking alone. For me, there were only 2 important people in this world ... me and my friend alcohol. I became secluded, began hiding my alcohol from my family and friends, but it finally caught up with me. I was confronted a few times by friends concerning my drinking, but I, too, laughed it off. But ultimately, the laugh was on me when I got my first DUI and lost a 14-year career. Bottom line is if you continue, you will eventually begin losing things, as I did.
I've been sober for 2 years now and wouldn't trade it for anything. Thanks to God and the rooms of AA, I'm sober today. And for that, I'm eternally grateful.
Member: Brett
Location: Indiana
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 9:45:35 PM
Hi all, my name is Brett and I am an alcoholic.
When I am in a slump or "bored" with AA I make sure the first thing I do is pray about it, and then I share it with another recovering alcoholic.
I once had a fellow alcoholic tell me something that I now take to heart everyday. "When you figure something out in your mind, that is most likely when you really need to talk to another alchoholic."
Many times in my life I have analyzed my problem, figured out the solution in my mind, and acted on this solution only to realize later that the "alchoholic insanity" had struck again.
One of the worst things this drunk can do is over think a problem and come up with a solution all by myself.
Thanks to all for sharing and helping me stay sober!
Member: Bud S.
Location: Canada
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 11:28:46 PM
Slumps. Ball players have them. Why not alcoholics? They are all part of our growth in the program. When we work our way past these inevitable slumps the program becomes clearer and more valuable. I have 29 years of sobriety and have experienced many such slumps in my sobriety but none serious enough for me to doubt my AA program. I was taught that boredom comes from thinking too much about myself. That's the time to call another alcoholic and share together or help a newcomer. Nothing is forever, not even slumps. God bless.
Member: Steve H.
Location: Va. Beach Va.
Date: 1/13/2002
Time: 2:58:26 PM
Hi my name is Steve and I am a recovering alcoholic of 17 going on 18 years. I am over at my spiosors house doing laundry. We are talking about dating outside of the program. I am new to this forum and am courious to hear anything you all have to say about the idea or romantic relationships in general and specfic.