Location: Ridgefield, CT
Time: 6:36:28 AM
I guess I am the first one here. Also I am a newcomer in my first day of sobriety. The topic I would like to discuss involves the first few days. Everybody says go to lots of meetings, but what do you do when you aren't at a meeting. How can I hang on through the squirrely feelings? I want the help of a higher power, I know I can't do it alone, but it seems so distant, so abstract.
Member: Joe L.
Time: 7:55:08 AM
No--everyone doesn't say go to lots of meetings--only those brainwashed by meetings say go to lots of meetings so that they can brainwash you to, especially when you're at your most vulnerable! Try praying, try hanging out with friends at movies or wherever, try anything--NOT drinking--you don't need a lot of meetings, that's just a crock. Do whatever you want, but meetings can be very detrimental, especially if you go to lots.
Time: 8:03:03 AM
Andrew, if you like to read, there is a lot of good stuff here to read. I would suggest reading some of the archives about step #1. Good luck.
Location: Northern Canada
Time: 8:09:21 AM
My name is Titus and Im an alcoholic. They tell me that the new comer is the life blood of A.A. and the old timer is the heart beat. First thing I ever did in A.A. at my first meeting was get the book, " Alcoholics Anonymous." If you can afford the book," Daily Reflections," your well on your way. I read the book Alcholic Anonymous, more than once. I made a desicion to stay sober for the next 24 hours, come hell or high water. I was told to keep an open mind..meaning hang on to things that I liked hearing rather than pick out only the stuff I disagred with. I was invited out for coffee after the meeting and for the first 3 months I cannot remember turning down that invitation even though I had more important things to do. I signed the card that made me a member of the group I was going to belong to. When I found some one who attends meetings and in my opinion had a good message, I asked him to be my sponser, And that Andrew got me started on a road to recovery that I been on since the year 1973. I was told back then that we stay sober one day at a time. some members think its 90 days at a time. but for me one day at a time worked real well.
Member: Joan L
Location: Phoenix Arizona
Time: 8:16:50 AM
Joan L Alcoholic..Good message Titus I noticed that you only shared what you did to get sober. you never throw out untried advise. And thats what its all about sharing what we did to get sober, not what we don't have to do.
Time: 8:23:54 AM
Jim here Alcoholic. Easy to tell what kind of sobriety I would want Id pick the kind Titus has any day over the critic type that Joe L from Chicago has If I had to choose going to a show over going to the night club Id still be out there drinking
Time: 8:43:26 AM
(((Andrew))) Firstly, I would say these are only suggestions, but they worked for me, and I'm sober today. At the start, like you said, everything was too big and abstract. So I held onto "Keep It Simple." I had to chop down my 24 hours into bite-sized pieces -"I won't drink for the next half-hour" sometimes even the next few minutes.....if I went to a meeting I wasn't going to the pub or the off-licence. I was meeting people who understood how I felt, who obviously had what I so much longed for, a life without alcohol. Of course, I met some idiots, too, this is real life, for goodness sake, but I began to see a way out. I learnt very early that I had to take responsibility for my own recovery, no one was going to "fix" me or "make" me better. I looked round at the people who I felt had what I wanted, got brave and asked for phone numbers, I used the phone a lot between meetings, esp. when I had those "squirrely" feelings you talk about! I drank loads of water, and yes, I ate lots of sweet things which seemed to allay my cravings somewhat. I didn't know that alcohol had so much sugar in it, and that my body craved that. When I went to meetings I made myself open my mouth just to say "I'm Kate and I'm an alcoholic" usually followed by "that's all."!!! and I can still remember the first time I shared at a meeting without looking at the floor! I was very careful about the people I trusted, I found a sponsor whose recovery I really admired (oh, the agonies of what might happen if she refused! - she didn't!) and I read and read and studied the Big Book. Sometimes when I was struggling I'd just open it up anywhere, and it ALWAYS had something relevant to how I was feeling on the very page! I'm sure that was my Higher Power working. Mostly, I was just dtermined that I didn't want to drink anymore, I tried doing it on my own many times, but "I can't, We can" won out, and AA is still working for me. Really, Andrew, it's up to you, and how much you want sobriety. Thanks for this topic. It's really taken me back to those early days, and made me aware of just how much I have to be thankful for today. Thank you.
Location: South Central Michigan
Time: 9:03:46 AM
Hi I am PappyPaw and i am a grateful alcoholic. I had a wonderful thing happen right off this morning ...I awoke sober. Because of this today is mine. I have a choice on how I will spend today.. I am going to have another day of soberity. Andrew you are most important member here. To live is to carry the message. AA has a triangle..at the top is God (He can I can't)at the left is others then at the right point is myself...God-Others-Myself in that order I find them at meetings. Lots of good spiritual meeting. Stick around and grow with us We need you
Member: Tim C
Time: 9:53:34 AM
Tim, alcoholic/poly-addict. I spent 5 months in a 12 step treatment centre in the U.K last summer. When I came in I was on my knees, when I left I felt like a different person - excited (yet a little fearful), but full of hope, feelings I hadn't experienced in years. I took on all the suggestions but one - no relationships for the first year atleast. I met someone almost immediately on release, fell in love (or was it just an obsession?). Anyway, it went wrong and I took an emotional battering. All the tools I'd learnt from the programme weren't enough at that early stage of sobriety to prevent relapse - still so emotionally raw after so many years of supressing them. I do meetings every day now, its my life-line but that advice seemed like a minor detail when I was in treatment. For five years before I was so messed up no-one would've come near me anyway. I guess I just wanted to feel normal again - be able to do what non-alcoholic people do etc. This is my message to any new comer. Adiction at the end of the day boils down to feelings - as addicts we don't like them and we seek to blot them out. If you're new take it really slow and keep your life simple. Try and avoid situations where you're emotions or stress levels are going to be put on the line. I've had to start my recovery all over again but I know its going to be worth it if I put the work in. Nothing could be worse than how it was before. Its hard to be humble but we need to finally admit we don't have the answers. Go to meetings and just listen.
Member: Robert H.
Location: Columbus, OH.
Time: 9:54:54 AM
Robert here, an alcoholic. The first few days are tough, and honestly, there are some days thereafter that are just as tough. But when dealing with those "squirly" feelings, I keep a list of things to do before I am "allowed to drink." First, I have to pray, and I mean really pray. Second, I have to read some literature (e.g. Big Book). Third, I have to call, and talk to my sponsor. Fourth, I have to call another person from a meeting. Fifth, I have to go to a meeting. There are five things that you can do to work through those cravings. And if you make it that far, and you still feel "squirly", you can call me, www.alcoholrecovery.net.
Location: Prince Albert Sask
Time: 10:24:48 AM
Marty and Im an alcoholic. That Joe L from Chicago is a real joker I coulden't stop laughing over his suggestion that you hang out at the movies with your friends Ha Ha My friends do not hang out at the movies, they all hang out at the bar. The he goes on to suggest that you..." try anything," Now what is anything suppose to mean to a squirrely alcoholic in withdrawl, Easy to see who needs the most help here, and its not you Andrew, You have taken the first step in recovery. And that puts you way in front of poor ole Joe L. from Chicago
Member: Jim D
Time: 10:30:58 AM
Hi, Jim alcoholic, I would suggest getting the book Living Sober, it talks about the day to day thoughts and feelings we have in early sobrety. Get peoples phone numbers and as hard as it is to do call them, remember they would not have given you there number if they didn't want you to call. I was told to figure out how much time I spent in the last month, before I came into the rooms, getting drunk, sobering up,devide that by 30 and that's how many hours a day I should spend working on my soberity. Good Luck.
Member: rich r
Time: 10:34:21 AM
The first few days of breaking any habit is tough.All you can do is make the right choice about the situation at hand.Everyone knows right from wrong and must use that knowledge to get through life.Hell if you need the crutch of AA then go for.AA is a wonderful place for that initial shock therapy to the newcomer but yes it is still up to the individual to do the right thing at the end of the day.But if you elect to do the 12 step lifetime plan then you may as well do the steps simultaneously for the alcohol,cigarettes,any other substance abuse habit that you have and get rid of all of the things that can lead to death.AA ERS have a real hard time understanding that tobacco kills more people than alcohol but they still choose to fill the rooms with smoke.What hypocrites to tell someone to leave the program will lead to your death,jail,hospital and then in the next breathe take another drag off of that cigarette that will eventually kill them or the second hand smoke will harm those at the meetings who do not smoke.These members seem to care if you intoxicate yourself with alcohol but could care less if they intoxicate with the effects of their tobacco smoke.Shit followers get real,if GOD frees you from the self induced consumption of alcohol merely for the asking why not ask for removal of the tobacco disease in the same breathe as the request for the removal of alcohol.If GOD can really grant these frivilous request then go ahead and ask for the big favor and ask him to wave that wand and remove your need for alcohol,tobacco and yes especially the need to be brainwashed into thinking that he is just willing to remove the alcohol desire alone and that for everything else GOD leaves the 12 step plan to combat the rest of life's problems.Allright all you oldtimers all you guys need to stack up all those chips that the guru who ranks ahead of you gave you and lets get a big alochol and tobacco free poker game going on and the winner will get to move to the head of line to be first for the next miracle to be granted.
Member: Joe L.
Time: 10:38:02 AM
You ignorant peole--I got sober by going to very few stupid AA meetings, they are basically a waste of time. I certainly didn't then, nor now years later, need to hear what someone else did to get them sober, that's stupid. I needed to and did find out what I needed to do--and it DIDN'T include going to those idiotic meetings every single day--two or threee times a day!! What a pathetic life that is to lead, might as well be drinking. I went to several through the years here and there but it's always just the same old silly stuff and no help to me. That is my experience, and I could care less if you want it or not--it's not yours to have-- yet another idiotic AA saying and not even a good put-down as it shows just how dumb some of the AA stuff is!
Member: rich r
Time: 11:10:50 AM
Right on Joe L.,pay attention to the man he knows exactly what he is talking about.How about this parrot slang.Even if you dont believe,then believe that I believe,LMAO,or how about TAKE THE COTTON OUT OF YOUR EARS AND PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH,that one newcomers is for you meaning listen to them and accept whatever it is they are dishing out and dont say one word about it,thats why you put the cotton in your mouth so you cant speak.And their favorite is KKEP IT SIMPLE STUPID,hell yes keep things simple but if it requires thought then do investigate,and NEVER EVER LET THOSE IDIOTS CALL YOU STUPID UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ARE STUPID.And oh who can forget this on.YOUR BEST THINKING GOT YOU HERE,BULLSHIT YOUR WORST THINKING GOT YOU THERE AND ONLY YOUR BEST THINKING WILL GET YOU OUT OF THERE.And there are hundreds of other slogans that you will be able to repeat in the months to come.Only problem is the real world will look at you like you are nuts once you start spewing that nonsense out.Oh hell yes stick around for your miracle and KEEP COMING BACK IF YOU ARE A MORON.
Member: Bruce N
Time: 11:19:26 AM
Hi, I'm Bruce an alcoholic. I want to welcome Andrew and agree that you are the most important person here. I remember the first days of sobriety. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't sleep right, I couldn't eat right, and I couldn't shut my brain down long enough to soke in much of what people were tying to tell me. Does that sound like an idiot? Sounds like someone who is sick and needs help to me. I probably did everything "wrong" in my journey of sobriety at one point or another and I don't remember one time anyone ever kicking me out or telling me I couldn't come to a meeting. Thank God they brainwashed me....my brain was pretty dirty! Today I stick to the values which God has revealed to me through many meetings, churches, lots of God centered literature, and everybody I've ever met who taught me how I wanted to live and how I didn't want to live. I've been sober 20 years last June and I still like the Footprints Poem which reminds me that I will have times in my life when I feel all alone and that is when God is carrying me. Thanks for the time and God bless you.
Member: Walt L.
Time: 11:49:36 AM
Hi, my name is Walt and I'm an alcoholic...when I say that, I mean that I have lost the ability to drink with any safety...I have come to realize that this is because I have a disease...my recovery from this disease was predicated on my being willing to do whatever was necessary, and that was usually exactly the opposite of what my keen thinking came up with...all of the thinking that I have ever done has led me to the moment that I now know...that is the key to this whole thing...my THINKING...over time, and by following the suggestions that I have read here, and I have tried them all, I have come to that place of spiritual experience, and for me it was the realization that I was addicted to my thinking, and I thought that that thinking was me...today I am the best me I have ever been and my life is a direct result of that, but I would not have been able to be here if I would not have found AA and the fountain of spiritual energy that flows from all that it does...if you want what we have, and are willing to go to any lenght to have it then do what we did...I am so grateful that I finally reached the place so many years ago...via con Dios.
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Time: 2:24:19 PM
Andrew, you came to the right place. There is some good information above. Note that the negative posts don't offer a positive way to recover from your problem. AA does. In fact, many of the negative posts sound just like me when I was avoiding quitting. I am glad I am no longer there. AA worked for me, and it has for many others. If those who choose to down the program of AA were so smart, perhaps they would offer what worked for many or even themselves. Perhaps NOTHING has worked for them to date? I know that nothing worked for me, until I was ready to listen to someone who had found a way out of the problem. AA had many such someones, who were more than willing to tell me how THEY had done it. I chose to stick around, and listen to those who had been where I was, and had gotten beyond the sickness that is active alcoholism. Still an alcoholic, but sober for today, yet again, and hopefully for many more todays, Mark W.
Member: Joe L.
Location: Windy City
Time: 3:27:56 PM
Markw. are you really that stupid or jsut dont know how o read? Clearly i said what worked and didn't, if your too stupid to see there are many BETTER ways than aa to get and stay sober so what! maybe you shold do like the man from mich. said--get the cooton out your ears boy, and put em in your mouth!!!!!!!
Member: Bill I.
Time: 3:55:08 PM
Bill ..Alcoholic. Joe why are you calling people who post here names like stupid ignorant and idiotic. The topic is how does Andrew make it through his first few days of sobriety. We all know you suggested he go to the movies. If that is your cure for alcoholism maybe you should think about writting a book about it and you could make a fortune selling it to those people that you don't think are stupid ignorant or idiotic. Good luck Joe looks like your going to need lots of it.... MOVIES you got to be putting me on, Huh??
Member: Bernie S.
Location: Dartmouth, NS
Time: 4:15:46 PM
Don't drink. The surest way to avoid getting drunk is to avoid taking a drink. Go to a meeting a day. Or one a week. Or three this week and nine next week. It's up to you. Whenever you feel like taking a drink, talk to a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. They're easy to find. They go to meetings. Being without a drink and being sober are two separate things. If you go to enough meetings, you'll see the difference between the two. When you find a group you like going to, join that group. Help them make coffee or shake peoples' hands when they walk in. If you can afford a big book, buy one. Read it each day. A chapter, a page, a paragraph, a sentence, whatever you can handle. "Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself [herself] we surely have no monopoly.But it is our hope that those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and may presently join us on the high road to a new freedom." Alcoholics Anonymous. Dr. Silkworth said, "I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through and though he came to scoff he may remain to pray." These are suggestions only, like jumping out an airplane. I suggest you wear a parachute and I also suggest you use it. But, in the end, it's for you to decide.
Member: Mark W.
Location: near the gigantic croquet wicket
Time: 4:16:08 PM
Andrew, the way one sobers up is his or her own. AA has helped many over the years. Some do manage on their own, often to end up resentful towards nearly everything. I think you see that above. AA teaches many things, not the least of which is how to live with our thoughts that often lean in the negative direction. Believe me, I know, as I was one of the very negative ones. How did I get that way? Both parents had the disease, and chose to die with it. I chose not to die from self induced liver failure. AA helped me to stick with my resolve not to die this way. Today I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. If you are interested in emailing, my address is LMW007@aol.com
Time: 4:18:34 PM
Andrew What might help is going for a brisk walk outside. Try to make it a daily habit going a little further and faster each day and you'll be surprised at just how good you start to feel about yourself and the world in general. Kind of like substituting a bad habit with a good one. This exercise regimen would of coarse be in addition to the BB steps.
Time: 4:24:27 PM
Hi Andrew, et al. Bill here alcoholic from Arizona. The first few days can get a bit rough. How rough is dependant upon how severe your drinking was. Generally we clinically detox in three to five days. Give or take. Some of us need hospitalization. There are many ways to get and stay sober. AA is only one way. There are treatment centers; the medical profession; group therapy works for some. I have a daughter who got and stayed sober in the Rock Church. She has been sober longer that I and is in the Figi Islands as a missionary helping others. Prayer will work but only if it is followed by action. My waste paper basket can catch on fire and we all can hold hands and pray...but until someone gets up and pours water on it, the fire will not go out as long as there is fuel. The bottom line Andrew (and others) is that all the prayers in the world..all the meetings in the world..all the Gods in the world will not get you sober unless you want to get sober. So pick a modality you are comfortable with and go for it. No matter which one you pick you will come to find out that the more you work one of these programs the more you will find out that most of them become start living programs as opposed to stop drinking programs. Take care. Email me if you have any questions. Love you all.. Bill
Member: Kerry C
Location: TX (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Time: 5:13:52 PM
Kerry here an alcoholic. Welcome Andrew glad you are here and thanks for choosing this good topic. I found the first couple of weeks of sobriety to be the hardest for me. A lot of my "squirrely" feelings came from not knowing what to do with my time. Alcohol took up most of my time while I was drinking. When I quit drinking I was sort of lost as to what to do with all that time. I had to change my life style and stay away from people I drank with because they always wanted me to drink with them. I followed some suggestions and became active in AA. Now I have new friends and things to do sober. Just got back from a weekend convention that had 1200 sober alcoholics enjoying life not drinking. I have to look people eye to eye and hang around with them to see that life can be fun and fulfilling without drinking. I never believed that the obsession to drink would be removed from me but yet it has. So as they say the proof is in the pudding. There are some very good suggestions already posted. Stick with the ones that match what you want to be like. Take care and God Bless.
Member: Roberta K
Location: Seacacus, 2nd. st.NJ.
Time: 5:54:06 PM
Hi Andrew, Roberta from New Jersey. I have 10 months sober, and this is my second attempt. First time I tried to do it alone. I lasted 2yrs. Something happened and I picked up my first drink. That drink lasted 8 months. Thank god I'm back again, this time taking suggestions, listening to my sponsor and not picking up that first drink. I go to 7 meetings a week all different. One is a big book meeting, another is a 24hr. meeting, a step meeting and a beginner meeting. We strongly suggest faith in a higher power. You can find that faith within yourself by picking up the key of willingness. Good Luck! Your sister in sobriety, Roberta K
Member: luck f
Time: 6:22:03 PM
I am glad I didn't have Joe to listen to when I got sober. I didn't have any friends that didn't drink and needed the meetings to make new friends that would be there for me and help me to stay sober on those days that I could not feel a higher power. I don't mean just the first few days. I mean after years my friends that I have made in AA are my higher power with skin on. They hold me on the ground until I can have a consious contact again. Hang in there and go to as many meetings as you can and go early and stay late and help clean up. Remember there is good happy soberity and there is angry bitter and dry. Only you can choose what kind of life you have. Good luck. Luck
Time: 6:30:06 PM
Good topic Andrew when i first went to meets i had to sit on my hands as they wouldnt stop shaking! i coudnt lift a cup i ws full of fear! but one thing i knew i didnt want to drink again, and i was willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, i did a lot of meets as they made me feel safe! i did a lot of walking as my mind was racing and i was scared! so i hung in there and after awhile it got easier, that was 16+ years ago! best of luck buddy, regards L-Ray
Time: 7:50:48 PM
I'm JimB Happy to know Im alcoholic and grateful to be sober today! I was fortunate when I was newly sober to have been adopted by a group of old timers who kind took me under their wing. One of the things that worked for me back then was to get a meeting schedule and when I wasnt at a meeting figure out where the next one was and start heading over there so that I was always going from one meeting to another. In this way I could keep away from spending to much time alone inside my head where it was a sure bet the old jailhouse thinking would kick in and I would have it all worked out how it was only fitting that I should take a drink! Things just seemed to begin to sort themselves out and I became cuaght up in living life on lifes terms so that there was not alot of time to wonder about how to do this thing as it just becomes intuitive as you work it and live it. This has worked for me now as of today for 5113.5 days or 14 years!!! Thank you God and you folks at AA.
Member: Mark D
Time: 7:51:18 PM
Andrew- Good luck and hang in there. One benefit of going to actual face-to-face meetings is that you generally don't have to deal with the kind of sewage that Joe L. from Chicago spewed at you right off the bat. Someone like him would never dare open their mouth in a face-to-face meeting. When you go to a real meeting you get a sense of if people are truly happy with their lives without booze. You seek them out. You get phone numbers. And when you are feeling squirrely, you call them. They KNOW how you feel! And here's an amazing fact - you're NOT bothering them. They will probably feel better themselves after your call. And so will you if you listen to what they say. It is hard at first. Especially if your drinking has created a lot of problems that you have to live with for a while, (legal, relationship, business). What it comes cown to is a realization on your part that your life has become unmanageable and that your drinking, which you have no control over once you start; is only going to make life worse once it wears off. Talk to other AA's on the phone or in person. That will help. Letting the Joe L.'s of the world in your head won't help. Joe L. - You've got the right initials but the wrong fellowship. I believe you're looking for "Assholes Anonymous"
Member: aa member
Location: real meeting
Time: 8:04:21 PM
Tom alcoholic thanks Marty + Lunk everyone but Joe and that other nut their funny they know it all AA meetings AA brainwashing. That dam AA those people they'll be talking about me. They have all the answers just look at the way they type, their mad at world. They don't need AA they can do it themselves but the bottom line is they don't want anything to do with AA thats why they come to this site that's about AA so they can tell us how they don't want anything to do with AA. Who do they think their fooling me HAHAHA your not fooling me your way doesn't work, been there done that that's why your hear. Yelling at people thanks for showing me the way to AA another one hiding behide a computer throwing rocks not answers I don't want what you got my friend keep it to yourself like all your other thoughts. You come to these sites all telling us there no good who's no good think. Think my friend you'll come up with the answer and you'll come back to this AA site and tell us how much you don't need this AA site.
Location: The Man
Time: 8:41:09 PM
Joe I hear you saying you are very miserable in your life. You begrudge others of what works for them. You are still in your little I am God like state of alcholic mind. So if you can't accept others for what they feel works for them then what you THINK worked for you in reality has not. Or you wouldn't put others down for looking and trying to find what works for them.
Location: some one is sick...so i am mad?..(say what?)
Time: 9:07:22 PM
Well my handle is "Bikerbabe... yes (('andrew')) the early going can be both rough and magical. i will never forget how it felt to experience xmas sober...after years and years of drunkeness. my first sober fall, my first sober birthday... it was really incredible.. or was i just a very positive person.. hmmm probably the second... so andrew... if you have decided you want to be sober in your heart of hearts.. im sure god will help you... i have alot of faith that you will be okay.. i know god has us all. he has me when im good, he has (Joe) when he's hurt and angry.. he has me and others when they are 'bitter' or dry' he has us all. and that is a very comforting thought. im feeling rather good today. i have let go of some of my anger and hurt feelings.. it helped alot to just cry (finally).. and to acknowledge' those feelings and talk about them with another member.. ya... you know i like what was said about us alkies 'avoiding our feelings'... i am sober but i still do that. when something happens and i am hurt, i become embittered for a time, and i get sarcastic' which is often actually 'anger underneath the sarcasm... from what i understand there are many alkies and people alike who experience this, and it is pretty common. The other thing that will get me is 'not dealing with life on life's terms' avoiding responsibilities is another. And of course there is that horrible place to live where i will not accept some person, place, thing or situation as being as it is. That gets me insane pretty fast. But im not going to get it down perfect.. sometimes i have to ask myself if i can live with the good in me as well as the bad.. and if the good is far outwieghing the bad then GOOD ENOUGH... gee wiz. i don't need to get all bent about what joe says, because its none of my bizness, joe has to go through what he has to go through. why should i get all hot and bothered about something like that?.. and why should any of you? big deal, so he needs to vent his anger for a year or two or who knows how long. That's all he's doing, why make such a ha ra about it?.. i thought love and tolerance was out code?.. can no one hear practice the simple basic skill of human understanding and see plainly that joe is angry... hey... he has a right to that... lay off. just as we all have a right to be sick, healthy or smoke our brains out... each person must carry his own no?... so why should i get upset because joe is upset?.. now how silly is that?... gee wiz.
Member: To Joe L Chicago & Rich R MI - the cynics filled with resentment at AA
Time: 10:01:30 PM
One entry found for cynical. Main Entry: cyn·i·cal Pronunciation: 'si-ni-k&l Function: adjective Date: 1584 1 : CAPTIOUS, PEEVISH 2 : having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic; especially : contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives <those cynical men who say that democracy cannot be honest and efficient -- F. D. Roosevelt> - cyn·i·cal·ly /-k(&-)lE/ adverb synonyms CYNICAL, MISANTHROPIC, PESSIMISTIC mean deeply distrustful. CYNICAL implies having a sneering disbelief in sincerity or integrity <cynical about politicians' motives>. MISANTHROPIC suggests a rooted distrust and dislike of human beings and their society <a solitary and misanthropic artist>. PESSIMISTIC implies having a gloomy, distrustful view of life <pessimistic about the future>.
Member: Joe L.
Location: For ya sinics
Time: 10:09:24 PM
no, see that's where you's got it all wrong---it's not a distrust of humanity---it's a distrust of aa and those in aa--NOT the rest of humaninty you blind fool---just shows how stupid you are. its aa thats insincerew and lacking integrity, not the whole of society--thats the point-- crazies are in aa , go to find help in places where crazy people are? thats stupid too---go to church or the gym or a doctor or wherever, not aa yous are ALL nuts, nuts , and really NUTS!!!!!!!!
Time: 10:44:53 PM
AA truly is NOT a hotbed of mental health, is it? I swear, the stats would probably be in the 90% percentile range for comorbidity if they were able to get accurate stats on it. Yes, it must be admitted that most everyone in AA is truly crazy, that's just sort of a given, is it not?
Member: Pam B - Sobergirl91 at hotmail.com
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Time: 11:12:24 PM
Hi - I'm Pam, an alcoholic. (((Andrew))) - when I was new my sponsor gave me good suggestions that worked well for me - praying in the morning that I won't take a drink these next 2 hrs, praying the thought/desire be removed every time it came back again during the day, staying away from people places & things that I associated with alcohol, reading the BB, phoning my sponsor to discuss it or whatever space I was in at the moment, phoning other sober AA's as well, getting to at least 1 f2f mtg each day (I was often at 3 a day for my 1st yr & 1/2) - journaling, cleaning all the stuff I'd always been procrastinating about, making sure I ate, drinking O.J. & sweets to starve off cravings, saying the Serenity Prayer each time things were not going my way (which was often), taking a daily walk to help my whole system circulate better & help alleviate anxiety (& I began an aerobic working out 3x a wk), being willing to go for coffee or other activities w/sober AA's & started making sober friends eventually, when bored or lonely or depressed to phone another AA & ask how their day is going instead of to talk about me, reviewing my day each night before bed to give thanks for as many things as I could think of that I was grateful because I hadn't drinken instead - & to give thanks for another day without drinking. I was bored, antsy, euphoric one moment & in the pits the next, anxiety attacks, awake most the night, anorexic w/no appetite & battled cravings 24/7 for my early months. But I didn't drink. I followed the suggestions whether I really wanted to or not - even made myself eat 3 times a day - went ahead & phoned the ones who had said 'call anytime - even if its the middle of the night' - tried whatever was suggested & found what works for me. And that what they all told me is true: This Too Shall Pass. Just keep doing as you need to so you won't drink today - & soon you will see that this early sobriety rough spot time does pass. Glad you are here. Pam
Member: Pam B (darn typos)
Time: 11:17:15 PM
that was praying in the morning asking to be kept from drinking these next 24 hrs (not "2")
Location: New Mexico
Time: 11:51:47 PM
Hola, Andrew. Glad you're here, mi amigo. There are some good suggestions here. For my two cents worth, first, realize that your body has some serious adjusting to do. You are addicted to a powerful drug and your body has become dependent upon it. I'm sure you know this, but expect some physical discomfort for a while (up to a week). But, know that your body will heal itself and you will start feeling better and, more important, normal. Ed from Canada is correct in suggesting that you replace your negative behavior with positive behavior. Start walking, running, swimming, some form of exercise in place of drinking. It will relieve the stress you are experiencing and vigorous exercise stimulates certain chemicals to help your body heal and get your brain chemistry back on track. Also, Rich R is correct in his suggestion that if you smoke, you have to quit tobacco at the same time you quit drinking. Aside from the fact that tobacco is every bit as deadly and addicting as alcohol and the fact that you cannot smoke and be clean and sober, there is agreement in the medical community that alcohol and tobacco/nicotine are cross-addicting. If you continue smoking, your cravings for alcohol will be much stronger. And lastly, and most importantly, put all your faith and trust in God and in Jesus Christ. As it states in 'How it Works,' no human power can relieve our alcoholism, but God can and will if He is sought. In addition to going to meetings, get involved in your Church. Don't just read the big book. Read and study your Bible. I will be praying for you, Andrew. God Bless You.
Member: Dan M.
Location: Hudson, N.Y.
Time: 12:47:16 AM
Dan here. GRATEFUL alcoholic! Andrew alot of good has been said in regards to early sobreity. I've been told some twenty years ago that MEETING MAKERS MAKE IT! I also know just how difficult those first days,weeks, months, can be first things first DO NOT DRINK under any circumstances! Remember H A L T Hungry if you are feeling squirrely eat something drink alot of water that helps flush you out. Angry this is an emotion one can choose to act on or react upon. Lonely call somone from the rooms, lift up that 500lbs phone and keep trying. Tired take a nap. I wake up every morning and ask God for help to keep me SOBER,SANE AND SERENE. I read A.A. literature. I make a meeting daily (I live life in 24 hours). I talk to another Alcoholic. At night when my day is done I THANK my Higher Power for blessing me with another day of NOT DRINKING Always remember A GRATEFUL ALCOHOLIC WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN!!!!!! I will pray for those who believe A.A. is brainwashing Thank for keeping it green andrew
Time: 2:46:57 AM
Andrew, I'm really happy that you are here. Amazing things are in store for you in AA sobriety. I planned a little for my first days of sobriety: since I had drank every day all day long, I told my doctor and followed his advice; I had a phone list and a sober AA buddy to support me; I started a new hobby(fishkeeping), and had lots of my favorite food and non-alcoholic drinks on hand. For the first days and actually the first year I was very good to myself. I ate and slept and read the Big Book and other recovery literature, I played with my cat and my fish, and basically did everything that made me feel good about myself, because I wasn't drinking, and that was amazing, and whatever it took not to take that first drink is what I did. It's 4 years later and what makes me happy now, besides my gratitude to my Higher Power for the miracle of my sobriety, is having you here and hoping for you the serenity I have found in AA.
Member: mike f
Location: long island, NY
Time: 2:59:43 AM
well, I'm in big need of a meeting, I've got six months sober, and my job (chef is so crazy this time of year, and I have no transportation, ) that well, I'm in need of help. I need some friends to talk to, I'm doing real good, butam just lonely, and well, just wanted to shout out, and say hello
Time: 4:51:03 AM
We share our experience, strength, and hope so others might recover. Hi all, Steve, recovering alcoholic almost 10 yrs (9/5/93) with alot of help. Mainly from AA and many suggestions learned there as shared above. Welcome Andrew. Yes, the "corny" slogans seemed negative at times but also saved my a.. more often. Living Sober book available from AA was similar to a FAQ and very helpful because so practical. Take what you need and leave the rest... Ive had to do many times even recently. Stick with the winners. I stayed sober after 28 day treatment and intervention by family and boss for about 1 1/2 yrs doing it my way. AA has worked better for me than self help books, therapists, religion (tho our lit suggests returning to our church), etc. Did more than 90 mtgs in 90 days because I drank compulsively and didnt know how to live. Also found friends to go to movies, dinner, and walks with. I asked a man to be my sponsor after hearing him speak at several meetings. We worked the 12 steps slowly but surely. He is still active in the program and when I moved got another sponsor who is also active. It works for me and countless others... Thanks for the topic! It helped me today... 3am couldnt sleep and feeling "squirrely" myself but you helped me get centered. Love and tolerance is our code. Do I sound like a broken record yet?! That's because these stupid, quaint AA slogans have become a part of me. It works! I have bad days but most of the time am serene. One day, hour, 5 minutes sometimes. Serenity prayer has saved my bacon many times even recently. One of the fruits of sobriety is fun... at least eventually maybe not so much at first. I heard an old timer (25 yrs), say that where was that...?? Oh yea, a meeting?? Asta la vista baby?!
Time: 11:00:32 AM
Andrew how you doing today I hope your still sober I know its not easy.I no for me when I first stop I had to change things. I was toll to hang with people who did drink.Get phone numbers from people who did drink.If I felt like I was going to drink call these people. Talk to someone when you wanted to drink it does help alot to go to aa meeting to talk to people.For some people its hard to go to these meeting but it helps. At first it mite be hard but it does get better its all how bad you want it to not drink.This is what I did and it help me.Try and find someone you know that doesn't drink ask them to help if they say no ask someone else.Don't give up its your life I know its not to do it alone I know I couldn't do it myself. I had to ask people for help its not easy to ask for help you will find people would like to help you. These are just a few things I was toll but its a start.And I wish you luck I do hope you make it my friend be strong try not to pick a drink . Get phone number of sober people and don't be afaid to call them. but call them before you pick up that drink and theres other sites online that you can talk to people but these are things I was toll and it does work if you want it good luck
Time: 12:22:16 PM
Attend as many meeting as you can. When you can't, spend time reading the Big Book. Get names and numbers at the meetings..call them. It gets better with each pasing day. Heres what you're up against: The first few days, your body wants that alcohol so much because its used to it to function. After that, you start to feel better but then the mental process of denial starts to set in. Then you're telling yourself you could probably have another drink. You need the AA program in your life 24/7 to free you from the need for alcohol and its return. If you can find a different way to get sober and stay sober, thats fine. AA is a proven program that works. It did it for me.
Member: Sober in AA
Location: Smoking cigarettes & Drinking Coffee has NOTHING to do with Sobriety
Time: 3:51:46 PM
Heavy smokers will relapse and/or will have strokes putting the body thru withdrawal from cigs before allowing it time to get over withdrawals from the alcohol (approx 18 mos) - and Marco - we are not allied with ANY religious sect. All that is required for achieving sobriety in the AA program is finding faith in a Power Greater than youself. That may be a religious deity for some or it may be reliance on the sober AA's passing on how it worked for them/us.
Location: to death to quit
Time: 4:37:05 PM
"allowing it time to get over withdrawals from the alcohol (approx 18 mos)" !?! Is this true? I thought it was 3 - 5 days. I am ready to quit drinking, but so afraid of the withdrawals. I don't know what to expect, I scheduled time off from work for the process, but just a few days, not 18 months. Yikes. I thought the physical withdrawals are gone after a few days, I have the rest of my life to deal with the mental ones.
Member: Angel G.
Location: Beaumont TX
Time: 4:53:40 PM
I believe that God has helped me every step of the way, even when I didn't know it. It doesn't matter what name I call God, but I must believe, as it is a part of steps 3-12. My first six months I was a nervous wreck, and couldn't recognize that God was with me. I babbled incessently, or else didn't talk at all and would isolate. I went to meetings sometimes feeling as if I was floating on a cloud of pink miracle whip, and other times I simply cried, and sank into the couch in the corner. My feelings ruled me. I felt alone. I didn't know God cared. I came to believe that God spoke through my sponsor. I believed that He spoke through members of my home group, and through the words that would come from my very mouth. I learned that God was not outside of my far awat as I'd always believed, but inside me, as a Spirit, alive in me, guiding my choices. The babbling slowed down. The indecision turned into careful thinking things through. Faith in God made me trust a new set of instincts I had never had before. If I yearned to use or do anything impulsive, it began to feel unnatural and unhealthy. God made routine feel good. People who had what I want were attracted to me, and I to them. I had friends, and I was not alone, am not alone, because God's Spirit shines in them. I found that I could even love and tolerate people who are obviously hurting, and angry. I was able to seperate my feelings from others' feelings, and and to recognize God's power to heal me when I become still. I practice breathing, and simple prayers, like, "God help me, I know you are." I say thank you before meals as a reminder of all the simple gifts in my life. I get on my knees at night (sometimes)in order to find humility when I'm feeling unrest (or squirrelly). I let myself be myself. I know I can't please everyone, and alot of people think I'm goofy, or worse, but it doesn't matter, because in my God's eyes I am a perfect creation. It's like being born into a big world, like a cranky baby learning to accept nurturing, and care. The book, "Came to believe" wich is AA approved, is very good. I found peace in this program, laughter, joy, and love, not through the personalities, but through the principles. Andrew, it's yours, free for the taking. Follow the suggestions that the others are sharing, and develop a relationship with a God that you understand, or like me, with a God I can never understand, but in whom I believe. Angel G. email@example.com
Time: 5:02:28 PM
I'm AK and I am an alcoholic. In most AA meetings cross-talk is respected. If one has nothing good or in the best interest of others just don't say them! I was a dry drunk for 3 years and I recognize a negativity dry drunk when I hear them or I think I do. A silence for those who are still suffering in here and outside.
Member: I FIRED MY SPONSOR
Location: FOR MAKING ME HIS EGO INFLATER
Time: 6:11:21 PM
Angel G.,Your sponsor is the link to god,damn,girl you got it bad.You sound just like a full blown cult member.Watch out for the 13 steppers.You are ripe for the pickings.W e will pray for you.
Member: Angel G.
Time: 8:10:41 PM
My sponsor has multiple sclerosis, leukemia, and lupis. She does not feel sorry for herself, she does not preach to me, and she is not my God. She lives each moment fully. That is what is so attractive about her. She has been sober nearly fifteen years and she too had her start in Alanon, so I relate to her well. I have had to watch out for thirteen steppers, mainly because I am one. I have three and a half years and I'm very happy in life. Bad things still happen, but it's not worth a drink, or a bad relationship. Thank you for your prayers. A good day is when everything goes like I like it to and I don't drink. A great day is when nothing goes like I would like it to, and I don't drink. Yes, it's a platitude, but it's true. Live and Let live.
Member: REALITY CHECK
Location: FOR THOSE IN BILL W.'S WONDERLAND
Time: 8:49:59 PM
Angel,you see all of the illnesses that you say your sponsor has are truly disease that she can do nothing about.You on the other has to realize that they are true diseases and that she did not choose to inflict those horrible diseases on herself.But you chose to drink which is choosing to self inflict harm to your body and you buy into the concept that it is a disease and that god can remove your desire to drink,well what about your sponsor,if she and everybody in the world prays she will still have the diseases that she suffers.You tell me what kind of god would show pity and sympathy for those of us who choose to go to the store and pick out exactly what flavor of booze that we want to consume and then deliver you from that so called disease. When diseases that truly need a miracle are passed over on a daily basis in order to save another alcoholic.Your sponsor is in dire need of several miracles but god ignores her and all the others in the world with true diseases and yes even his own children with cancers and other sickening diseases that need a miracle.Let me get this straight god will deliver all alkies from the grip of bad self choices and ignore all who really need to be healed.Like I said how bad do you have it.
Member: Kelly M
Time: 11:31:10 PM
Hi, (Angel G), Great post and thanks for the ES&H. God Bless your sponsor. She sounds like a very couageous woman. I agree that the days that are the hardest, when I resist picking up a drink mean more to me. I liked your quotes. God Bless. Kelly
Member: Afraid to tackle real reality Kelly
Location: GET A GRIP MIRACLE MONGERS
Time: 11:44:28 PM
Come on Kelly M,lets not just ask for Angel's sponsor to be blessed,lets ask for one of those AA issued miracles.How about the reality check Kelly.Explaing why an alkie gets a miracle and the sponsor who needs the miracle only gets a blessing.Come on Kelly weigh in on that.
Member: to REALITY CHECK in FANTASY FUELED BY RESENTMENTS LAND
Location: rocking your boat full of untruths & misconceptions
Time: 12:42:40 AM
God heals incurable diseases all the time. What box have you been living in? Definately the one that has no knowledge of the facts about alcoholism neither - nor that an alcoholic is NOT drinking by choice
Location: Upstate NY
Time: 1:04:46 AM
Thanks for the read folks. I know what my priorities are. ODAAT
Member: The Doctor Is In
Time: 1:06:21 AM
Sober in AA writes "Heavy smokers will relapse and/or will have strokes putting the body thru withdrawal from cigs before allowing it time to get over withdrawals from the alcohol (approx 18 mos)." This is absolutely contrary to accepted medical opinion. In fact, just the opposite is true. The consensus in the medical community is that persons suffering from multiple drug addictions should quit ALL drugs at the same time. A person who abstains from using one drug while continuing the use of another drug is practicing psuedo sobriety (false sobriety). This is a rather common disorder. It is sometimes seen is those addicted to the "harder" drugs (heroin, cocaine, et al) who substitue alcohol for their drug of choice and subsequently develop problems related to alcohol addiction. Much more frequently we see it in both the "harder" drug addicts and alcoholics who mistakenly believe that it is permissible to continue to smoke or otherwise use tobacco. These patients wrongly believe that tobacco use is somehow "less" of a problem. The fact is, however, that tobacco related illness is a far greater problem than all other drug use (including alcohol) combined. Similarly, the death rate from tobacco (nicotine) addiction is much higher than from all other types of drugs combined [In fact, the total number of deaths attributed to tobacco addiction is higher than the next 10 causes of death combined]. If you are addicted to tobacco/nicotine in addition to alcohol or any other type of drug, you need to quit ALL of these drugs immediately. It makes no difference whether or not you are still drinking alcohol, or if you have quit using alcohol, how long it has been since your last drink, you need to cease using tobacco at once. It's not merely a matter of whether or not you have pseudo sobriety or actual sobriety. It is a matter of life and death. The medical community recognizes that tobacco/nicotine addiction is one of the strongest drug addictions known to man. But, there are many types of treatment and assistance and I urge all who are addicted to seek out help today. Finally, in response to the inquiry from "scared to quit," the physical withdrawal from alcohol can last upward of seven days, not eighteen months as stated. If needed, there is medical assistance available to assist you through this brief period of withdrawal. Seek out medical help if you feel it is necessary.
Member: Is the Doctor OUT yet?
Location: far from Minnesota
Time: 2:26:36 AM
The Doctors Opinion is in. Well I for one am sure glad to have heard all of this knowledge. Lets just throw all our addictions, chemical, mental and emotional and favorite foods too, while we are at it right into the dumpster, walk away and live happily ever after because God knows we don't want to "practice psuedo sobriety." Whatever the "medical community recognizes" scares the heck out of me. I think I heard somewhere something about Easy Does It and Keep it Simple, but I can't remember where. OH Yes, it was Alcoholics Anonymous for a minute I thought this was a place to share our ES&H as recovering alcoholics. I must have got lost somewhere. Can you get arrested for practicing psuedo sobriety? IMHO the DOCTOR is practicing something pseudo.
Member: FOR THE FANTASY SUFFERER
Location: DONT ROCK THE BOAT UNLESS YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT,STANDING ON FIRM GROUND
Time: 8:18:42 AM
When was the last time that anyone actually observed on a newscast where God had cured an incurable disease.If it happened it would have gotten more news coverage than anything in recent memory.Go ahead and ask God to cure all the children at the local cancer hospital and lets see if they close the hospital by nightfall.Why would god cure say a few with diseases and let the rest continue to suffer,oh hell yeah thats right he had to go work miracles at all the meetings worldwide and ran out of time.Research and development has come up with some cures over the years but not all of them.For all of you alcoholic cindarella success stories out there quit hogging the miracles so we can get those cancer hospitals closed down.
Time: 8:52:20 AM
Been trying to stop drinking by myself for the last 8 years. Longest I've made it was about 3 months, but now it's about 2 days. SO, I figure I'll give the seeking help from others a try.
Member: Angel G.
Time: 9:14:52 AM
TBAR, if you are truly willing to stop the insanity of doing the same things over and over expecting different results and always having the same problem occur over and over, then perhaps you are ready for alcoholics anonymous. If you have any doubts try reading a copy of the "Doctor's Opinion" and "More About Alcoholism" in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. You can call AA in your local town and find out where meetings are. You are not alone. We have all felt similar feelings as you are feeling and we have found that no problem is too small to find comfort in AA and no problem is too difficult to be relieved. E-mail someone on this message board if you are too scared to do anything else. Hope is all around you. It takes courage to let go of fear and trust that something greater than ones'self can and will care for us in a far deeper way than anyone in this sad world can. Try asking the air to keep you from drinking for just the next 5 minutes, then ask again. We don't have to know who we are praying to in order to find strength in prayer. Concentration camp victims suffered at the hands of a horrible human evil, and yet they continued to have faith, and to live until redemption. You obviously have a very strong will to live. Now try trusting your will into the hands of something Bigger than you. Imagine that the voices of AA will take care of you. Maybe that will be enough. Read "We Agnostics" in the Big Book, and get a sponsor. Life as you know it is ending. Living is just beginning. Peace of the Program be with you.
Member: Kelly M
Time: 10:26:39 AM
Hi (Andrew) from Ct. - I'm from Niantic! , If your still reading I will attempt to tell you what worked for me in the first tough days. I knew myself enough to know I could not stop on my own. Both times I quit I went to a spin dry/ rehab. I was there 3 days and 5 days respectively. The first time back in 95 I did not need to detox but needed the support to stop. Last October I needed the skilled nursing to get me through the DT's so I had to go to a hospital. I threw myself into AA when I got out of rehab and went to as many meetings as I felt I needed daily. I go to a meeting now almost every day and some days I go to 2 or even 3. I do what I want and feel I need because it is my program and this works for me. The scariest part was actually going to the rehab, once there it got better. Last year I decided to ask for help after a bad fall on New Years. I picked up the phone and called a rehab and got registered. Then I called 2 more times and finally they said, "Kelly, when your ready come in"! I did that October 1st 2002. Why did it take so long? I had a lot of fear that this time I would die of the DT's. I know that is silly but that was my fear. I don't recommend waiting as long as I did because it was a horrible, sick 9 months getting the courage to go dry out. If you are not suffering from DT's I'd call AA's toll free number and talk to someone about how they can help you get through the first days. It is my guess they will partner you up with someone local that will pick you up and bring you to a lot of meetings. Take you under their wing so to speak... YOU CAN DO IT ANDREW! God Bless and God Speed. Kelly :)
Time: 12:21:05 PM
Hi Bob here - I'm an alcoholic. Good luck to Andrew. Whatever is said here NO ONE found it easy to get through the first few days and weeks. It helped me to remember all the horrible things I'd done when drunk/drinking. It helped accept that I was (am) powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanagable. If you need to refresh your memory ask a close friend or family member to discuss a particular incident with you - you may want to crawl under a rock afterwards but drinking isn't really an option. For me meetings were a mixed blessing - I wasn't ready for more than a couple a week for several months. I go because I'm a quick forgetter and hearing others stories reminds me of mine - and reinforces that I am now and will always be an alcoholic. But, by the grace of God, I didn't drink today, or yesterday, or last month... That's about it. I don't want to go back to the Hell of being a wet or dry drunk thanks. One day at a time - the feelings pass. Best wishes.
Member: RICHARD M
Location: SARASOTA , FLA
Time: 1:23:34 PM
hello my name is richard m ....i am an alcoholic.......my sobriety date is dec 28, 1985. on day one .in aa.. i was a new comer .......on day two ..i became , a long timer............Today ..........i am still a ' NEW COMER"..........i just have all the answers ....they are in the Big BOOK......good luck on your journey and keep comeing back.........love , peace and happiness to all....
Member: mike r
Location: mount forest,ont canada
Time: 1:43:24 PM
My name is Mike and Im an greatful recovering alcoholic. Good message Titus. I know when I what to my first meeting they all was said take coming back that the new comers keep the older ones sober. And if you don't attended meetings how are you going to work the steps mainly Step 5. I was a very shy person til I hooked up with a great sponsor who got me to meetings . If listen to what Joe L from Chicago had said I would be in hospital or six feet under what is he way I just hope you chose the right way which is attend meeting and to get a sponsor that you can talk to about anything go luck Andrew God does care and so do we all care for each other
Member: Beto L
Location: Tampico, Mexico
Time: 3:48:29 PM
Andrew, When I went to my first AA meeting a woman said that if I put one half the effort into staying sober that I had put into staying drunk, I would never have to drink again. I'm happy to report that she was right. I have tried to put at least some effort into staying sober, whenever my sobriety has been shakey, and I haven't had a drink since coming to AA. Some of the things I have done to stay sober are: read he Big Book; go to meetings; try to work with other alcoholics; talk to people before and after the meetings; get telephone numbers and call them; pray for help; and above all, I just don't put alcohol in my mouth. Glad to have you in the ranks of the sober. Beto L
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Time: 3:59:14 PM
Craig here another "real alcoholic", (page 21). This is a great topic. When I first tried to get sober, I was very sick in mind and spirit. I had a lot of fears and as a result I was angry and distrustful. Alcohol had finally backed me into a corner. I had tried religion, physical exercise, psychiatrists, faith healers, etc. trying to escape alcohol's icey grip. At the end my scorecard read zero and I had to humble myself and admit I was beat. Like you Andrew, I didn't know what to do with my time, once the bars and bottles were no longer a solution. I consider myself very fortunate to live in a place where there are over 600 meetings a day. For the first few weeks I went to as many as 5 meetings a day, then once I was allowed to work again, I cut back to two a day for a little more than a year. I just didn't know what else to do then. My sobriety evolved with every meeting I attended. Now, I try to do something everyday to let others know, you don't have to keep getting drunk. Today, the peace of mind and serenity I have is astonishing.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Time: 4:18:30 PM
Hi Andrew, welcome, and great topic you have chosen. I talked to other people I had met at the meeting and made it a point to go to coffee with them after the meeting to get questions I had answered. I read the book and got involved in service. Help set the room up, make coffee, help cleanup, that sort of stuff. A sponsor helped me greatly, read and started working the steps, and got back in touch with praying. Seem's so many of us did the same basic things and you know, it works. I hope this helps and that you keep on sober day next to another sober day. HOPE for ((Everyone)) firstname.lastname@example.org
Member: Geezer H.
Location: upstate ny
Time: 4:43:31 PM
works fine...stay out of your own head and out of your own way...just stand in the light and know you're worth it. and don't drink, even if your ass falls off...instead,let the love and caring of this fellowship grow within your heart...all the slogans all the stuff that'll annoy you--listen--it's all true and you can have it, too. may sound goofy and simple, but if you don't want to get drunk, don't drink alcohol...damn...
Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Time: 4:51:16 PM
Hi All, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, Andrew. Glad you're here, and reaching out. Keep doing that. You really brought back to me how awful it was the first days/weeks. I felt horrible, & shaky for a long while; my thoughts were jumbled and wouldn't calm down; I was desperate not to drink and really didn't know HOW to live without drinking - it'd been my 'life style' for 18 years, and the only constant. I couldn't sit still, and would loose track of the meaning half-way through reading a sentence. I was filled with fear, hatred, guilt, lots of chaotic feelings when I first started going to AA meetings. Strange thing happened at the first one: My mind got quiet for a little while, and I came away with a little HOPE. HOPE because, even thought I didn't understand, or really believe in a lot of what was being said at those AA meetings, a lot of those people's eyes were sober and happy and they said it would work for me if I kept coming back. I tried to listen and to do what they said worked. Each time I would FORCE myself to go to a meeting when I really wanted to stay home and isolate, or risk telling people at the meetings what I was feeling or thinking, or reach out and call someone and let them know what was really going on with me, well, a tiny bit of self-esteem built up in me. I began to loose that 'slimy dung-heap' feeling, and began to get some belief and confidence(faith) that the program of action that was talked about in meetings would work for me, too, if I continued to work at it. I found that Power you talked about above, and that Power has enabled me to live sober, happy and useful one day at a time, instead of the nasty, harmful, drunken existence I had. I just celebrated my 18th AA 'birthday' last Fri., and I'm very grateful to have the gift of sobriety. Thanks God, and thanks to all of you for being here.
Member: Sito T.
Location: Vega Baja, Puerto Rico
Time: 7:18:56 PM
Hello everyone Today is my AA Birthday! 7 years are good! Thank you for sharing with me.
Member: What are birthdays for?
Location: Party up dude.
Time: 7:50:10 PM
Lets go party and celebrate.
Member: Brian B
Location: Chiang Mai Province, Thailand.
Time: 8:40:34 PM
I don't usually join in on the discussion; but I was requested to, in order to counteract some of the negative posters. Seems strange that the Anti-AA mob feel a need to post on an AA site, wish that they would go someplace else. Welcome Andrew, good topic. So many good points that I won't repeat the obvious ones, like, get in as many meetings as you are able to get to. The one practical suggestion I can make is to keep busy. When I was drinking, there were many things I neglected. Many 'Walter Mitty' projects started and uncompleted. Keep busy is my suggestion. Pick up something that you have neglected for a while, perhaps even something mundane. Fix something that you have put off for a while. That damned bathroom light; the gate that won't shut properly; the fence where the dog gets out; start clearing out the garden shed; paint the bedroom:- I'm sure you will have your own list. I qualify this with don't take on something too heavy or difficult, that will only contribute to your frustration (my own bete noir is the bloody annual battle with the TaxMan! lol). Why I suggest this, is that relatively quickly you will see a positive gain from not drinking. You can say, "hey, I managed something". For me, early sobriety was measured in simple achievements, yes, even the simple one of awakening and appreciating birds singing. Incidentally, if I had been told to spend time praying, or reading the bible, I'd have been out of the door so fast, my feet wouldn't have touched the deck. Thank goodness, the rampant 'God Squad' was not in evidence at my early meetings; they emerge only briefly in UK, but seem to be much more evident in the USA. Best of luck, Andrew, and above all else, "keep coming back". See thee, Brian.
Member: Jennifer S.
Location: Chicago, IL
Time: 9:17:33 PM
Hi everyone! I am Jennifer, an alcoholic. This is my first time participating in the discussion. Andrew, thanks for the topic. I hope all finds you sober and amazed at all the valuable information everyone has imparted. Sorry to see some are less encouraging than others. I agree with ji, consider the kind of approach and attitude you would like to have in your sobriety journey. I was a dry drunk with a chunk on my shoulder for quite some time until I started putting the "cooton" (as someone called it) in my mouth. Now I am living, not merely alive. Everyone has covered the thoughts that came to mind to share. Watch your people, places and things - especially if friends are not supportive of your desire to stay sober. Sweets - Great! I prefer sour gummy bears. Pick up the two ton phone and call those numbers - you're not going to believe how many new friends are waiting in your future. "Living Sober" was a great suggestion. Also the "12 x 12", "A Day At A Time", and "The 24 Hour A Day". I'm glad you shared your topic, I needed to read ALL these comments, taking what I can use and leaving the rest to be archived. Millions of people are with you. J.
Member: PAUL S
Location: SARATOGA SPRINGS
Time: 9:26:46 PM
my name is paul and i am an alcoholic. 1st time on line. thank you all for your sharing! i really like the best day is the the worst day story! in my short time in the program i found, for me, it is definitely a 24 hr,one day at a time experience. the fellowship,being connected and staying on my knees keeps me out of my way for today. but,for me,each day needs its own work,as change tends to come gradually.sometimes slowly,sometimes quickly,but it will always come if you work it!from where i was at the end...helpless, hopeless...a dead man barely walking. today i have no real gripes. just life on lifes terms and positive things to dwell on. keep coming back!
Member: helen w
Location: London ont
Time: 10:43:51 PM
Thanks God I found a place to hear recovery on Line, I have not been back to meetings in a long time over a year, I am 9months sober, this is a recovery from my third relapse in 9years. Iknow something is missing and I know most believe going back to meetings would help, I just can'g seem to find my place there. I spent 5 years in meetings trying to do whatI thought was expected of me, I still don't know what I missed?
Time: 10:52:11 PM
Hey, I have a great ideas Andrew---do what I did-- Pray, read the Bible & Prayer Book every day, say Mass, and help others with whatever various situation they may be dealing with......Or don't.......... Ya see Mr. Andrew, this is exactly where you don't need to get the wrong premise or you're bound to get the wrong result----or just being "dry" as they say. Funnt thing is the cast majority that use that term are actually describing themselves as they are generally the brainwashee extraordinaire's. Find out what works for you Andrew my dear man, not what a bunch of alkies say. Find a true spiritual guide and not some silly sponsor from AA who only wants to control your life, or some other professional--just stay away from the whole sponsorship deal---I did, it's worked for me a number of years and look how happy I am, really! Ha, ha, all this has a definite element of truth to it in that I did yes all these things. My difference with AA is I say so freegin what! These people that say do what I did are to be avoided like the plaque Andrew, find your own path--- Just rest assured it will indeed be much more difficult to find that very path and look at yourself with true intospection and spiritual insight if you stay in AA for long. It's o.k. to help aid in stopping drink for a short period of time, but then get out while the getting's good man---do yourself the biggest favor you'll never imagine---hopefully! That's true experience, strength, and Hope for you Andrew.........
Member: tony s
Time: 12:45:42 AM
I just stopped drinking for the 100th time. I tried aa too many times to remember but hated all the rah rah shit This time i am my 23rd day without a drink The most was 2 months I thought I would try online so I could talk when I was really uptight Iam so used to being in bars and drinking at home that I don't know what to do with my free time My family is great and supportive so that is not a problem. I just cannot stop thinking about having a drink Everything in my life revolved around drinking I am having a hard time and would appreciate any advice
Member: Bill J 12-19-75
Location: Kingsville TX
Time: 12:54:50 AM
Discussion meeting. 8-20-03 Member: Andrew Location: Ridgefield, CT Early on Make as many meetings as you can and read the ligature and keep yourself busy. Busy is better. Don't worry about feelings. They are just feelings and that is why a lot of us drank because we did not like the feelings we were having. We will slowly learn to trust God and keep our feelings in check I can't change how I feel but I can change how I act and that will change how I feel. So trust God and look for the good things to be grateful for and you will be off to a great start. Joe L. Location: Chicago: with your attitude and Information I am surprised that you are even sober. If you can't say something to help please don't give negative advice. Make some meetings and you might even find out what it is about. Sober alcoholics make meetings and don't isolate. If you want to slip Isolate and follow your own advice. After reading your other post I am sure you are either Stupid or from the Rational Recovery site. I also feel you are a real obnoxious Asshole. Titus Location: Northern Canada: Good advice Titus Ed Location: Canada: Good advice Pam B - Sobergirl91 at hotmail.com Location: Daytona Beach, FL Good advice there Girl. Many good post. I did not read them all but Joe L. is not one of us. He is a Agitator trying to stur up shit. in a real meeting he would be shut down and invited out for a knuckle sandwitch and right fully so.
Member: Be a good guru
Location: teach the new flock right
Time: 1:14:04 AM
Bill J.,dont you have another meeting to go chair.Better yet you need MA (MEETERS ANONYMOUS).Dude you are severely ate up with the BIG BOOK BULLSHIT.10 MEETINGS A WEEK,I bet you hold the record in Kingsville,.Now how about you not teach young Andrew to take others inventory and be a real good cult figure and show him how to make direct amends for your bad post above
Member: Bill J 12-19-75
Time: 1:21:15 AM
Tony S.,just dont drink,the thought will go away soon enough.Surely you remember a favorite slogan from AA,THIS TOO SHALL PASS,what an original,all things eventaully pass.How about this one,Tony if you are at home with your family,THEN YOU ARE FOR SURE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.I have to go,I am trying to save one of my meetings from becoming extinct.
Member: Bill J 12-19-75
Location: Kingsville TX
Time: 1:31:54 AM
I did not post the above but agree with it. I don't answer people that don't use their names. They are gutless in my book. You can't out give God. God is only a Sucker for Gratitude. You tell heim what you are grateful for and he may just give you some thing else to be grateful for. AA works Make some meetings bj
Location: and happy about it
Time: 1:46:32 AM
Meetings are such a bore,same old stuff everytime.God is not a sucker at all and you best not tempt him.The anonymous part is best ,it is part of the name for a reason.Names are not mandatory
Member: Michelle V.
Time: 1:38:15 PM
Andrew, I hope you are doing well. The only thing I can share with you is my own experience. Here is what happened to me when I stopped going to meetings for three years. I didn't pick up a drink. Not one. I was fine emotionally and spiritually for a while too. Later, though, I started becoming more and more irritable. I began to put myself down even more than when I was drinking. I started criticizing everyone and even had major blowups with my boss. I was so lonely I could die. I became increaslingly depressed. More and more I began to lose contact with my Higher Power. I continued on this way, without ever picking up a drink, until one day a little voice in my head said, "drinking would be better than living like this." It wasn't a passing thought--I was terrified. They always told me in AA that my disease was always along side of me, just waiting for the right moment to get me again. I came running back to AA. For me, AA is more than just learning how not to drink. It is a way of life, and I need it to continue to grow both emotionally and spiritually. I need to fellowship to keep me from becoming lonely and to help steer me in the right direction. I need my Higher Power to keep me sober and to let me know that I will never be alone. I could not find any of that anywhere except in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Member: Rich P
Time: 2:14:19 PM
((Tony S in NY)) I had cravings the first 6 months of sobriety. The desire to drink did not leave me until I sincerely asked God to take it away (everyday!). I started asking God to remove my desire to drink every morning, then again during the day if I had thoughts about a drink. At night I would thank God for getting me through the day sober, whether I had had thoughts of drinking or not. Then it happened. In the middle of the day I thought, Holy Sh!t, I have not thought of a drink today! And then realized it had been 3 days since I had even thought of a drink. I wept. I felt as if a yoke had been lifted from my shoulders, and somehow I had not even noticed when it was lifted. I went 5 beautiful months and booze was like dog food to me (I have never owned a dog). I didn't miss it, and I didn't notice not missing it. I was trying to do the next right thing, and often had to pray for guidance about what that was. When I get full of myself, when I feel powerful and confident, and NOT humble - the desire to drink returns. Now, two years into this AA journey, the desire to drink comes and goes. I try not to freak out when the desire hits me and use the many tools I have to combat the desire (pray, candy, meetings, pray, call a buddy, read, pray, etc.) When in doubt I repeat to myself a mantra, "That is not an option for me today". I need the constant reminder. Simple but not easy. Peace
Member: Connie S.
Location: Nashville, TN
Time: 3:00:15 PM
Hi ya'll, I'm Connie, grateful recovering alcoholic. I'm glad you are all here, especially the newcommer. I'm glad, I'm a "brainwashed" alcoholic in AA because so far, I've not gotten arrested, kicked out of my home, lost family, friends or jobs for being "brainwashed" in AA, Rich - obviously you do not believe in the principals of this successful program so why don't you post on a site where your experience, strength and hope are welcome.
Member: Jim H. / Alcoholic
Time: 3:15:55 PM
Hi,I'm in a a 12-Step...AA/NA..recovery half-way house here in Alabama,went to treatment and learned about AA,thanks to my higher-power I call God and working with 78 people that are Drug Addicts and Alcoholics in Education and Recovery. Most are court ordered and came off the streets,into Jail and now in a half-way house and are learning about AA as we go to meetings and small education class which I'm over voluntary. I need help finding video's updated,and Bill W. story and literature for our groups.If anyone could help me find or donate anything (videos) to help educate these people It would sure appreciated..address is 1000 Barry Street Oxford,Alabama 36203 c/o Jim H. e-mail ia email@example.com P.S. any help to point me in the right direction for help would be great,we have a small budget as I do this for free,it's helps me to stay sober thanks....Jim-Alcoholic
Location: I shit canned it cause it was a bunch of crap.
Time: 4:21:05 PM
Connie,we all feel so sorry that you have decided that you will be an alcoholic the rest of your days.Pick up those tools placed that magically appeared at your feet an duse them girl.It is so sad to see another one get reeled in when all you have to do is your brain.Oh yeah Connie call your sponsor first before you attempt to use your brain.Your sponsor most likely will not allow you to use it.But you can ask anyways.
Member: joe s.
Location: Michigan Rezdog
Time: 4:23:40 PM
joe s., alkie. andrew: i could not stay sober and one a.a. told me to keep coming to meetings and to keep an open mind to spiritual concepts. he also suggested i read the literature of a.a. it was working for others ... over time, i found it can work for me (coming up on five years). resign from the debating society, seek what you are looking for and you may find it. daily sobriety is worth it. miigwetch!
Member: Tim H.
Time: 4:36:06 PM
Hi, Andrew If you need someone to talk to at 3am, email me. Your 3am is my 4pm.
Time: 5:18:40 PM
all the negative anti-AA, anti-meeting-attendance, anti-BB posts are just ONE disgruntled person with a huge sachel full of alias names to post under
Location: Vermont, USA
Time: 6:04:04 PM
Thank you for a good topic Andrew. The first few days and weeks are hard but it gets easier. I was working and did not have the habit of drinking at work so it was the evenings that were difficult for me. I am a single parent and live in an very rural area so going to a meeting every night seemed un-doable but I would often take a long lunch hour and go to a noon meeting. When I got home instead of sitting down with a drink I would clean things, I did an awful lot of cleaning the first few days and weeks. I went for walks. The first few weeks I was sober I read a lot of the stories in the back of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous). I was not ready to read anything but the personal stories, the rest of the big book annoyed me too much to get any good out of it. It does not annoy me nearly as much now, two years later. I read Living Sober and Came To Believe. One night a week a friend would come up and stay with my son and I would go to a meeting that night. I kept myself busy with household chores and projects. A lot of the time I just suffered through it, I endured. As time went on it got a lot easier and now the times I think about drinking are very few and far between. It does get easier Andrew, and the longer you stick it out the easier it gets. I have to say that I don't agree that meetings are the same old stuff everytime. I think it depends on what you are listening for.
Member: TH E LONGER YOU DONT POP THE TOP
Location: THE LONGER THE BOOZE WILL STAY IN THE CONTAINER
Time: 6:45:31 PM
Yeah Andrew,just like for people who are overweight.The longer you stick it out the smaller your ass will get.The further you drive towards a destiantion the closer you will be to your destination.That train of thought goes for any and everything.Yes good old common sense.OH shit my disease just started acting up again.Come on HP get me thru this.
Time: 8:05:40 PM
Hi,my name is Chuck and I used to be a drunk.I attended AA for several months.It really helped me a lot.I stopped going when I realized that I could live without alcohol.While I enjoyed the shares of others I really never got into the click of the AA way of thinking.I wanted to think clearly for myself and when I stopped drinking for good 6 years ago I started thinking clearly and leading a more productive life.I have completed college,I have a wonderful wife and 2 adorable children and I dont miss the drinking or the blurry thinking that it caused me to suffer.I read things on a lot of different websites and coming to this site is like a step back in time.I have never posted here before until now.Why all the bickering here,it seems if a person post something that someone else does not agree with then they retaliate and it keeps going and going.While I can relate to those who choose the AA lifetime alcoholic concept as their life preserver I can also relate to the ones who have suffered the effects of alcohol but have chosen not to accept the powerless theory for the rest of their lives.My purpose of posting is to ask a question to all.Why would anyone post in the first place and then not feel strong enough about what they post without being strong enough to accept that not all posters will see things their way?It seems that all who are slinging mud are not strong enough in their beliefs and feel that their beliefs can be knocked over like a house of cards with the slightest breeze and apparently they defend what they post to block the breeze so to speak.Well thats my 2 cents worth for what its worth.Allright you guys can start slinging mud again but I am getting out of the way,Bye and God bless.
Member: Dale W
Time: 8:16:19 PM
Hi! My name is Dale an alcoholic! Boy sure seems to be alot of different topics, but I'll stick to the ones that stuck out for me. There was a question earlier why we celebrate milestones? For me it is an example of the credibility of A.A. that it does work! Also to give hope to the newcomer. As far as meetings bieng boring or you might get brainwashed well I here people say I'm not going to meetings, I'm not getting anything from them, I was under the impression that we don't go to meetings to get anything but to give back whats been freely given to us. And as far as our medical friend says about smoking, coffee, or other things ther is a little story on pg135 in the B.B. that talks about those things, and where we get our apropos. Thanks and remember who loves Ya!!
Member: Bobby S.
Time: 8:49:32 PM
Dale,did I just hear you say that we do not go to meetings to get anything from them but only to give back what we were freely given.You confused me, if everyone is going and giving and no one is getting anything as you stated then where is all the stuff going that we are giving,can you clarify please.Man I sure have been thinking that I have been getting alot but you are saying that I am not.I will have to talk to my sponsor about that one.
Member: Eric Z
Time: 9:45:35 PM
Hi! my name is Eric I'm an alcoholic. Giving back whats been freely given me is generally this. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thourghly followed our path. That is your path as much as it is mine or anyone elses. I go to meetings to remind me of where I come from, how I have recovered, and where I'm headed. I share these things with others, along with the tools and actions. I take daily to keep sober and face life on lifes terms. We give individually and recieve spiritually. Better ways in mind and body to do God's will. My best example is to do something nice for someone else anonimously and never tell anyone about it. You'll find it takes much planning, devotion, and totally gets you out of yourself and any problems that may be plaging you.The joy it will bring through selflessly giving of your self is immessurable. The smile inside every time you think of or see them reminds you of God's omnipitence (power) in your life. Remember never tell anyone! A greater World!!!!
Member: Dale W
Time: 10:00:05 PM
Bobby S. I would be glad to explain my comments to you. Please e-mail me at Gabie10@juno.com or look at tradition 5 or go to topic meeting on step 12 would take to long to post an explanation. Thanks
Member: Eric,dont display your parroting skills
Location: out of the bird cage
Time: 10:04:22 PM
Eric,please share something that we have not heard a gazillion times,thank you.
Member: Bobby S.
Time: 10:13:09 PM
Dale,if you dont mind please go ahead and post an explanation and share on this forum in case there are others who may be confused.Thanks,BobbY S.
Time: 10:14:13 PM
if your god how stupid are you to be so brainwashed that you think its one poster/ you really are stupid are you/
Time: 10:25:17 PM
I'M A MIRACLE
Member: Ron L.
Location: Winnipeg. Can.
Time: 10:42:36 PM
My names Ron and Im an alcoholic. last drink was April 05 1973 I just want to say how much I enjoyed your post Eric Z. from W.Y. I was kind of in a pitty potty... you know the poor me. and although I may have heard a post like yours a million times it was just what I needed to hear this evening. I will be doing some of your suggestions and as a result I have a purpose and Im looking toward a new day. Thanks ever so much
Location: ITS YOUR TURN ON THE PODIUM
Time: 11:32:30 PM
Ron get real,after 30 years without a drink and still doing the meeting and 12 step crap and you needed to hear that shit again.You the GURU and for sure someone's sponsor,maybe even Erics.GROW UP AND GET OFF THE WAGON.After being sober 30 years and you are still an alcoholic and going to the grave still in recovery.SHIT I WOULD BE LOOKING FOR SEVERAL NEW DAYS
Member: Concerned Member
Time: 11:37:04 PM
For RON,if after all those years sober and all of a sudden now you finally have a purpose after that post from Eric then I guess you should be pissed at Eric for not being there for you 30 years ago.Better yet Ron,getout all those chips that you have and lets play poker.
Time: 11:51:47 PM
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!! HOW FUCJING STUPID< I"M ONE OF THE TROLLS AND DAMN OPROUD OF IT!!! I DIDNT POST SOME OF THE STUFF AND SOME I DID SP I OBVIOUSLY HAVE AT LEAST ONE PARTNER IN REALITY SPEAK!! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU BADSTSARDS!! oh sorry, my disease made me say that!
Member: NOT A TROLL
Location: A REALIST
Time: 12:04:37 AM
There are a lot of posters on here who dont wear THE AA ISSUED ROSE COLORED GLASSES.It is sad that a person has to get a whole new brain makeover to quit drinking and then the poor souls dont even realize that they are the ones who ultimately decided that enough was enough ad quit and then gives their hard earned credit away to power hungry GURU'S to feed their EGO with.Let us pray.
Location: New Orleans
Time: 12:05:28 AM
Bonjour, Andrew. I'm so glad you've made the decision to get clean and sober. Your observation of the necessity of relying upon your Higher Power, specifically God, shows you are right on track. If you are a Christian, renew your faith and allow God and Jesus to give you the strength to overcome your addiction. Study your Bible for the answer is contained within. If you are of another faith, renew your connection with that faith. If you are without a Higher Power in your life, you need to find God. Pray for guidance. He will guide you. But, remember, when we talk about a Higher Power, we are talking about God. That is clear. So, place all your faith and trust in God. I've noticed in these posts some people talking about a Higher Power being "sober AA's passing it on how it worked for them" and other references to human beings. This is the sure path to failure. When you go to a few meetings, you will hear "How it Works." It will tell you that reliance on human powers will fail us, whereas reliance upon God will cure us. Best to you, Andrew, and God Bless.
Member: Concerned member
Location: in your corner Jesse on this one
Time: 12:18:38 AM
Yes Jesse,hooray for you for telling it like it is,Jesus is the man and the way.THE ONLY WAY.Now Jesse finish telling him the rest and that is to stay out of the smoke filled meetings and get invloved in his local church for sure.Tell him Jesse,he needs to hear more than once.
Member: happy, joyous
Location: and free
Time: 1:19:37 AM
hold on a minute, i'm workin on getin there isps to infect there cputers with antiaa viruses ready/ here it goes now<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
Member: you should be concerned
Time: 1:19:42 AM
God talks through & works on earth THROUGH people - or did you all think its a magic wand?
Time: 7:43:51 AM
WOW! It's 4 am here in Arizona, and I can't sleep. Back in the late 70' and early 80's, I managed to put together a few years of sobriety with the help of AA. At some point, I just couldn't fake the god stuff and the cliches anymore. Since that time, whenever I feel a lot of pain, I try AA again. Although it says it's a spiritual program, not a religious one, I find over the last 25 years AA has become more and more religious. Brian B's comment about the "god squad" in the U.S. is so true! Now I'm a silver haired woman, and I still can't control my drinking. I know it's affecting my life, but......... Every morning I get up and say 'today I won't drink'. I won't drink before I start making supper (usually), but the minute I go in the kitchen to cook, I pop a cork. Each night, I'm only going to have a little wine with dinner, but I always manage to put down a bottle or 2 of wine before I go to bed. The last 3 days I haven't bought any. So now I can't sleep. This is the 3rd day in a row that I have had no sleep. Two or three years ago I tried AA again. All I heard was 'read your bible', 'get down on your knees', and 'be grateful to god'. I found this site looking for help, but instead I found more bible thumpers, with a couple of trolls thrown in for no apparent reason. I'm an aging lesbian. Where do I find AA (or something) without the right-wing fundamentalism? I had the silly notion that on-line, in a truly anonymous setting, I might find something to which I could relate. Not only do I not have that kind of blind faith, I have no desire to develop it. The christian bible has no meaning for me! Isn't there anything that will help without having to swallow that ubiquitous 'opiate for the masses'? If anyone knows of a program or a website, PLEASE let me know. I need help, but your god just isn't going to do it. Please.
Member: Patty S
Time: 7:54:51 AM
Dear Andrew, Thank you for your topic, as many have said early sobriety is extremely difficult. The one thing I want to add is that alcohol withdrawal can be life threatening, so please get medical help first, safely detox. What I know from my own experience is that AA works! If you want to stop drinking, and live a life full of peace and serenity AA and the millons of GRATEFUL recovering alcoholic around the world are available 24 hours a day whether there is a meeting or not. Every city has an outreach number for AA, call directory assistance and they will give you that number so when there is no meeting in your area, and you don't know who to call, call AA's main number, there's always an alcoholic on the other end of the line and who is willing to listen. There have been a variety of comments posted for you Andrew, but what I know to be true is this... If AA is a cult or brainwashing like many have mentioned, and millions around the world have been able to stay sober, rebuild their lives, and live a life of serenity-then I say brainwash away. I want a good life, not a life of misery in a bottle. God Bless Andrew and you're in my thoughts and prayers.
Time: 8:54:24 AM
Andrew,you can have the good life and all that it offers by not drinking.It is simple.AA works for a few who dont know any better.A vast majority of us former drunks have done it without being brainwashed and for that we are proud.
Member: also a lesbian
Location: at the Y
Time: 9:01:22 AM
Kathy,what truly works for the masses is to take responsibility for your own actions.That means that you and only you can put the poison down.Yes as with anything else when you first quit there will be withdrawala,but after a period of time it all passes and you just have to get thru the rough stuff.Just quit thats all there is to and suffer thru the bad days.Or of course try cooking dinner without the bottle in the house.Better yet stop making the effort to go to the store and stockpiling it.EAT MORE MONKEY
Member: for the
Location: lessie whore
Time: 9:59:42 AM
no who gets from ny to cali faster between a gay male and gay female couple? the lesbians caus they get there lickety-split! you sick fucking whore bag! your not sober so shut the fuck up and go lick some clit or something!
Time: 10:00:43 AM
oh yah, but could ya videotape it for us sick fuck guys to watch?
Time: 10:35:08 AM
correction to my post: millions sober in AA world-wide & staying sober. countless #'s dead from doing it their way. church works only if you're a heavy or problem drinker but not if you're an alcoholic
Member: Mike H.
Location: Jackson, Michigan
Time: 10:37:10 AM
I have one suggestion for the AA bashers. If you dislike or even hate AA then why don't you start your own website? Why take up our time? It is my opinion that if I don't like something I am not going to do it so if you don't like AA then don't do it. Live and let live.
Time: 10:48:29 AM
not-so-haooy in the bahamas-- wrong, wrong, wrong you are!!
Member: Death B Not Proud
Location: 6 Feet Under
Time: 10:58:50 AM
Just attended my second funeral in two weeks for people in AA that went back out to do it their way. One guy was a talented, educated artist in his early 30's. He struggled with the God component. He told me once he could not turn his will over to something he could not see. I wonder what he is seeing or not seeing now from the inside of his casket?
Member: For the social worker
Location: in a tizzy
Time: 11:37:34 AM
Meetings and funerals,you sure have a busy schedule.The artist may have chosen a doorknob for his H.P or the wrong God of his own understanding.Inside his casket he is as close to peace and serenity as one can possibly get.
Member: Sorry your brain has vacated
Location: in the guru's hands
Time: 11:42:30 AM
Mike H.,sorry you dont like to see both sides of the coin.Now get your ass back inline before your sponsor finds out that you are spouting off without his permission.All will die eventually,yes countless millions,and quite a few will die from the smoke from the smoke filled rooms and kidney diseases from the overindulgence of coffee
Location: Vermont, USA
Time: 1:50:14 PM
Kathy in Tuscon, you might try Women For Sobriety http://www.womenforsobriety.org/ As one of the 10 percent of the human population whom a Higher Power has seen fit to make homosexual you are no doubt accustomed to vicious and unprovoked attacks but I am awfully sorry you had to find it here
Time: 2:09:22 PM
Kathy,this is Miranda again.I will be in the Tuscon area in a couple of weeks.Wht are the chances that we can hook up.I mean really get hooked up.
Member: Rob L
Time: 4:54:40 PM
Thats it! after lisiting my office manager read me this dribble of a bunch of clining whinning little pussies, STOP loOk for your self respect and stand back up! As far as these "haloed" sponsors... please! when you put any one or any thing that high upon your prefferences you have simply made a substitution!! BACK AWAY FROM THE BEER IF YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ONE!!!
Member: Lee W
Location: Loganville, Georga
Time: 6:51:15 PM
This may seem like a strange subject and maybe someone out there can relate. I am going on a year without a drink, but I am a artist and used to rely on wiskey and coke -- along with hard rock n roll to motivate my mind. I have tried painting sober, but with zero effect. It were as though booze and paint bring magic to the canvas or murals I design. Now I feel crushed...please advise if you have ideas. Thanks Lee
Time: 7:34:04 PM
hi andy im also a grateful alcoholic and here to give you a little help if possible. the first few days off the bottle are hard real but hang in there eat very sweet things to help with your cravings and drink tea with plenty of sugar try not to worry about your sleeping or lack of it that will return just try and keep as busy as you can and remember to take it one day at a time or as ive heard many times in meetings an hour at a time if that helps good luck andy your a brave man
Location: Chicago, IL
Time: 7:36:54 PM
Hi Im Nancy alcoholic. I am grateful to be sober today. Andrew thank you for the topic. I still do today what I learned in the beginning to stay sober ODAAT. That is DONT DRINK, GO TO MEETINGS AND ASK FOR HELP. I would like to ask Joe L. from Chicago, if you don't like AA meetings what are you doing in one? We share what works for us here and we are not trying to force you or anyone else to beleive that AA will work for you. God Bless you Joe and everyone else who posted here.
Time: 7:39:50 PM
The AA material says there are cases where people can recover from alcoholism without AA and, in perticular, the use the a Higher Power. AA works for most people. Most AAs I know would tell someone that if they can get sober and be happy in their sobriety..more power to them. Its just that in practical experience, it dosn't happen ver often. I see no purpose in curses, threats and name calling. For those new to this board or new in recovery, ignore the extremists. Take your own path and if you choose AA, more power to you. Sexual preference, by the way, has no bearing on recovery. If you questions or want to discuss alcoholism...thats the topic appropriate for this board.
Member: lty,where you getting your info from
Location: THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER
Time: 7:55:06 PM
Correction lty,AA fails for most people,but by AA's own admission very few actually accept it as their path.
Time: 8:25:03 PM
miranda must be a blondie or someting as she is obvious not too with it and makes up stats out of thin air. geea--10% of guys are born wit aa dick in they arse eh? I dont think so love as its clearly not only unhealthy and immoral, but a choice dearheart---just like drinking! kathy in tuscon and lesbian-nazis like her have their own aa groups all over the freegin usa so dont cry the blues cause your a lickety-split---you chooose it! now either repent and be saved, or burn in hell, in which case you might as well drink too--right?
Location: New Orleans
Time: 12:22:35 AM
Dear Kathy from Tucson, my prayers are with you. I am sorry that you have not found the answers to your problem in the New Testament. The answers are there, if you will open your heart to God and to Jesus. Nothing else will save you, both on the this earth and in the life hereafter. And, in response to your assertion about Christians, I am not a 'right wing fundamentalist.' I come from the liberal wing of Christianity. As you mentioned that you are a lesbian, may I suggest that you try one of the more liberal Christian denominations, such as the United Church of Christ (the former Congregationalist Church) or the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), many of which are open and affirming to the gay and lesbian community. You might also try one of the Metropolitan Community Churches, which are Christian churches primarily for the gay and lesbian community. Their web site lists a member Church in Tucson. Also, in answer to your inquiry, I would invite you to visit www.beliefnet.com. In this site, you can examine the various beliefs of the different denominations, both Christian and the other great religions of the world. I pray that you will find your way back to God, Kathy, because you are one of His children and He wants you to get well. My prayers will be with you.
Member: Jesus's child
Location: notin your corner tonight
Time: 12:59:28 AM
Jesse,come on now,you know Jesus does not accept homosexuality.And you know even if those denominations accept it and practice it that they are wrong.Jesse tell it like it is.
Member: Pam B - Sobergirl91 at hotmail.com
Location: This Too Shall Pass
Time: 1:49:43 AM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic - clean & sober member of the AA program since 11/18/91. One thing that I've learned thru this program is the truth of our slogan: This Too Shall Pass. The disruption taking place in this site shall pass as well. While waiting it out, I & many others have found the peace we're seeking in spite of the storm by attending f2f mtgs. I encourage all who are truly seeking help to recover from the disease of alcoholism to do likewise. If doing so is absolutely impossible, I'll be glad to help you thru email. Any who live anywhere in the U.S. & want to talk - include sending me your phone # - I have free long distance on my home phone all the time - just let me know what a good time to phone is. Thank you. Pam
Member: PS from Pam B
Time: 1:53:47 AM
BTW - AA is not allied with ANY sect, denominatin nor creed. Who you choose as a Higher Power is your own personal choice. AA does not tell us what we have to think or believe or do about anything - teaches us how to think for ourselves & how to make our own right decisions that are right for our own selves. Freed. Happy, Joyous & Free
Member: THIS TOO WILL NOT PASS
Location: NOT PASSABLE
Time: 10:55:56 AM
Pam,no this will not pass and no one wants to call you and hear the same shit that you spew out over and over.Hell if we want to hear your shit we will go scroll thru the archives.Now get your ass back in line before your sponsor finds out that you are fanning the fire.
Location: New Orleans
Time: 11:53:11 AM
Thank you, Pam, for your instruction on what is included in the AA preamble. You might, however, reread the preamble, for it is different from that which you quote (i.e., it does not mention the word 'creed'). It does state that AA is not allied with any particular sect [or] denomination, which means it is does not have a formal realtionship with any particular religious organization (e.g., Baptist, Catholic, Presbyterian, etc). It does not mean that AA is not founded upon Christian religious principles. Bill W., et al., did not think up the AA program on their own. They utilized several sources, all of them of a Christian nature. The basic outline for the AA program came from the Oxford Group, an early Twentith Century Christian fellowship. They also used the words of Jesus Christ from His sermon on the mount (chapters 5-7, Matthew), the words of His brother James (the epistle of James), and the words of the Apostle Paul (chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians). If you will study the history of AA and do some honest research, you will see that the foundations of AA are rooted in the words and teachings of Jesus Christ. You will then see that the only hope of freedom from alcoholism, as well as all of life's maladies, lie in the salvation of our Lord and Savior. To our favorite troll, I am sorry that you are disappointed for the love shown to a sister who happens to be gay. Please remember that our first obligation is to love one another. In that love, we are to bring the lost back to the Father through His Son, Jesus Christ. We are not to judge someone because of his or her sexual orientation. Remember, that when we were drinking, we were sinners too. God Bless All of You. May the peace of our Lord be with you this day.
Member: Real Member
Location: of the human race
Time: 1:59:49 PM
jesee, my man---you at least got some of it striaght--but not all---James was Jesus' cousin, not brother. lets get it right if were going to propose were espousing more than the make up your own truth garbage of 99.9% of aa. i do commend you though on at least heading in the right direction, to bad you have obviously not read Leviticus or St. Paul---very clear about the evils of homosexuality. it is loving to tell them the truth instead of like aa and anything goes--thats false love my friend
Member: Real Member
Location: of the human race
Time: 2:00:04 PM
jesee, my man---you at least got some of it striaght--but not all---James was Jesus' cousin, not brother. lets get it right if were going to propose were espousing more than the make up your own truth garbage of 99.9% of aa. i do commend you though on at least heading in the right direction, to bad you have obviously not read Leviticus or St. Paul---very clear about the evils of homosexuality. it is loving to tell them the truth instead of like aa and anything goes--thats false love my friend
Member: Tommy L.
Location: I support you Jesse and the Real Member
Time: 7:02:10 PM
Jesse I understand the love you are showing to our sister but Jesse tell her the motive of your support for her.Yes admit it if you can get her through the doors of any church then at least the Lord has a very good chance of changing her sexual preference and her direction of her life.I,too hope she takes your advice and I admire you for your cunning effort to get her to see the light.
Time: 7:35:54 PM
Jesse,I understand you reaching out to our sister.But you should be honest with her.The real deal is that you and I do not care what church she goes to but that she only goes and if she gets thru the doors then the Lord will have a better chance to change her sexual preference and her direction in life.You are rather clever in your thinking which by the way is great thinking
Member: John O'L
Location: DFW, Texas
Time: 11:06:58 PM
My name is John O'L and I am an alcoholic. Thanks to AA and my Higher Power, I have not found it necessary to take a drink since May of 1982. This is a miracle for me. Before coming into AA for the first time in the late 1970's, I was able to stay dry and on the wagon for months at a time, twice for ten months each. However, I always got angry, resentful, and upset, because I am an alcoholic, and it is my nature to seek relief in alcohol. Andrew, first I'd say that what worked with me was knowing that I wanted to be with my own kind: heavy heavy drinkers who wanted to stop (I call myself an alcoholic, but prefered to think of myself as a heavy heavy drinker when I was new to the program). I can't explain to a social drinker what alcohol means to me - they can't understand. My sister tells me that I should use my will power and stop drinking after two or three drinks like she does.....Ha! She does not understand and cannot understand. She doesn't know what it means to NEED a drink, but I sure do! My father believes that I go to AA meetings to socialize and meet new people - he cannot accept that this disease runs in our family and his father and brother died of alcoholism, and his oldest son, me, came very very close of dying of alcoholism. The God of my understanding is my Higher Power, and He is not the God that I was taught to worship in my religion when I was a child. The God of my understanding is a God who has helped me stay sober for over 21 years now, and will continue to help me as long as I am willing to try. Andrew, AA saved my life.......AA can save your life as well. Please be willing to try, and read the Big Book and go to meetings and pray to the God of your understanding and have a wonderful sober life until the day you die. God Bless You, Andrew, and all those who seek sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous!
Member: Pam B - Sobergirl91 at hotmail.com
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Time: 11:38:40 PM
Thank you (((Jesse))) - but I am in agreement with the AA historical reason as to why Bill W stopped preaching salvation in Jesus Christ up front to the brand new alcoholics seeking recovery from the disease of alcoholism. The Oxford Group also shunned Bill W for this change in his approach. In spite of all the garbage & slander that some like to sling about Bill W, I appreciate that in this instance he did follow as God had revealed to him in the matter - rather than allow human fear to sway him into following the moral opinion of the well-meaning but lacking in understanding majority that shunned him for this. Dr Bob & Bill W had dragged in 100's of drunks off the streets & had them kneel at the alter to ask Jesus to be their Lord & Savior so they could get sober. Not a single one of them could get sober that way. They could not believe that God is real, or if He is, that He was there for them. Most were too guilty to believe that God would now help them. The need to escape that reality via drunkeness prevailed. That is the reason it was changed to allow a newbie time for God to let them know that He is real & He does forgive & He IS there for them - let God bring them to faith. That is the Holy Spirit's job anyway - is it not? I've sponsored mostly ones who were agnostics & atheists when new - also allowing each to find a faith in HP in whatever way works for them - (as the purpose for the AA program IS recovery from alcoholism. Pg 50 BB says whether we agree w/a particular approach or conception of a HP are matters that - for our purpose - we need not be worried - they are questions for each individual to settle for himself)- via the sharing of my own testimony of what my HP, Jesus Christ, has done in my own life, as often as God opens opportunity to appropriately do so as we work thru the BB/Steps - I've always found that God's Power is present in the sharing of our own ES&H in Him. Its the principal of 'attraction not promotion' - the Holy Spirit draws them to making Jesus their HP. Isn't that the reason that God arranges to place them with one of us? God is a gentleman & does not force His Will upon us - why should we think that we need to? My understanding has always been that those who adhere to the teachings of Jesus Christ & follow Him is what a 'sect' is. AA is NOT allied with ANY sect. As far as recovery from alcoholism goes, these Steps will achieve that whether a person chooses to make Jesus their HP or not - & that is what the Primary Purpose of the AA Program is. God may have given our roots in the Oxford Group - but then we broke off from that - & God provided the completeness of the program thru a variety of other sources as well. Please correct me if my understanding & application of all this is wrong - via email rather than here would likely be more appropriate than to use this board. Thanks. Pam
Member: Jennifer S.
Location: Chicago, IL
Time: 11:45:34 PM
Good evening. I'm Jennifer, an alcoholic. This has been an interesting first week participating in this group's discussion. Andrew, I hope all is well. The suggestion made to detox safely, seeking medical attention, was a good one. By now, if you were successful in not drinking, you should hopefully be feeling better and sleeping. Juice, dring lots of juice. I've been thinking of you, as well as the other newcomers that have joined us. Kathy(Tucson), I am an avid cook, but for a while I had to take the money I spent on my flavor of choice and pay for delivery from restaurants without a liquor license until I could calmly step up to the neccessary appliances and cook again (I even ended up saving money). I also learned to modify my recipes calling for alcohol. I'm deeply sorry that some people missed your actual topic (thanks again for sharing). I don't know how many different meeting locations are near you. The groups I attend are for the most part respectful of each other's definition of a Higher Power as it pertains to the individual. One of my best friends in the program is of the opinions opposite of my own. This has not been an issue of contention because we respect each other's individuality. I've learned a great deal from him and rather than shaking my beliefs, his views have helped to clarify my own and keep me open-minded. Lee (Georgia), creative freedom was impossible for me at first. Of course, it had started to go down hill leading up to my physical, intellectual and emotional collapse. When I started trying I produced stunted garbage. I lost my confidence and desire. My subject matter was a little morbid. I took a time out. I just kept taking care of myself, doing the things I knew would help me and treated myself to a little vacation from the frustration. I tried to really get into what others were creating. I put my tools aside totally for about four months and just studied other artists' works. The local art scene is thriving. Some of them told me it was just a phase. I think they were right because it's starting to flow now. I don't know if this is a viable option for you at this time. I do know that all that you brought to your work is still there and will probably make you a stronger artist when you find the way to empower it with a better vehicle than using. It will be back! Do you know anyone else in the program down there who is on the creating side that you can bounce this off of? Also, I volunteered some time assisting children's afterschool programs and assisted living residents with their craft times. Take care old, new, in-between and out there! Jennifer
Member: lee ann
Location: new mexico
Time: 1:18:56 AM
I stumbled across this website and i must say that i am not sure i will return. one bad apple spoils the bunch.
Location: New Orleans
Time: 1:29:33 AM
Excellent, excellent post, Pam. It would appear that we are in agreement in large part. I would, however, disagree with you to some small extent (of course!). I see the primary purpose of A.A. found on page 45 of the Big Book, where it states that the main objective of the program (I believe it states "this book") is to find God and, through him, to find a solution to our problem(s). The problem with some in AA is that the newcomer is told things like "You can make anything your Higher Power; it can be a doorknob or someone in the group." No doorknob is going to heal your alcoholism, nor is any member of the group. Nor do I believe that the steps are very effective in getting someone clean and sober. I've known a lot of people in AA who have "completed" the steps two, three, four, five times, and still don't have any actual clean and sober time under their belts. But, I truly appreciate your insight on the power of the Holy Spirit and the "gentleness" you have employed in bringing the non-believers to the love of Jesus Christ. Bless you. Finally, with all due respect to your request, I took the liberty of posting as this dialoge may help others - particulary some of those who have been in AA for a while but have still not discovered the "light." Thanks again for your thoughtful comments. Bon soir.
Time: 1:31:00 AM
No Lee Ann,it not just one bad apple it sa whole buschel of them apples and they are ripe ,I mean right.
Member: alison b
Time: 5:05:06 AM
hello im alison from grimsby sending u all my love and hoping u have a good day
Location: plano, tx
Time: 9:34:48 AM
pammywammy diot of diots is here too---great! she talks of not forcing anything on anybody and does exactly that--what a woman--great sponsor---if anyones in need send her an email shell be glad to god your life. what a freegin joke!
Time: 11:40:24 AM
nope pam darlin were doin it here for all to hear and see. your--repeated-your--understanding is not only wrong, but insidiously evil. not only are the steps directly out of the Bible, anyone with any brains nose that if they have read anything other than silly aa literature. jesse is right-the purpose is to bring people to God--not get sober, thats merely a byproduct. your--again your-- and your view alone is an evil within aa that must be exposed for the crime to humanity that it is. evil woman may the devilish spirits within you be gone>>>>>>>>>>>.
Member: desiree b
Time: 3:17:29 PM
hi i'm desiree and i'm an alcoholic. this is my first time to an online meeting. nothing like feeling right at home. i suppose i will jump right in. i am thankful for the program of aa. i am thankful that i have the opportunity to re-discover a loving relationship with my higher power. if i practice desiree anonymous or totally rely on my sponsor for emotional support, i am in danger of relapse. so i will continue to seek gods will, plan and purpose for my life, reach out and put one foot in front of the other. to drink is to die. god will teach me to love and to live.
Member: CHris H.
Time: 4:08:19 PM
I'm CHris --I'm an alcoholic/sddict/bulimic--All that I know about all that has been said at this meeting is that we dare not loose sight of why we are all here. All I know is that Iam here because i want and need to stay sober...The A. A> program works for me. The first days are surely difficult. FOr me I did as close to 90 meetings in 90day s as I could which really helped. I heard and learned then things which helped to keep me sober. I got a fantastic sponsor ( who is still my sponsor and mentor today)...I called her all the time. I was too embarassed to call many other people in the program , but I did call her. I tired to do what she told me to do. One of her best pieces of advice was to have some kind of schedual in my life. I was told to start my day with meditation. I still do that today also,because when I don't, I fall apart. I try to live wiht some substance of discipline. If left on my own , I become very close to drinking. I still call her at least once a wek. I still try to do what she suggests. The meetings have helped me to quit the blame game and "stinking Thinkin". HOPe this has been of some help. Our sobriety is the most important thing in our lives.. with out it we can have nothing else.
Member: t bone
Time: 9:50:53 PM
Hi can someone tell me if it is normal for a sponsor to take no for an answer. or if you tell the that you have fired them and they will not allow that to happen is that normal will someone tell me
Member: Dale W
Time: 10:15:17 PM
Hi. I'm Dale alcoholic. Just a few brief quotes from the Big Book! We of alcoholics Anonymous are more than one hundred men and women who have revered (thats ED not ing) from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED is the main purpose of this book. If he/she is to find God the desire must come from within. If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked wit us. My experience has been that God don't become a reality until he becomes a neccesity. Thanks
Time: 1:26:01 AM
Hola, T-Bone. Some sponsors can't take rejection and that might account for your sponsor's refusal to accept his/her termination. In my experience, very, very few people in AA are qualified to be sponsors. First, actual sobriety (freedom from all use of alcohol and other addictive drugs [tobacco, pills, etc]) is quite rare in AA, despite the 'sobriety dates' that people give. Remeber, a person cannot give away what he/she doesn't have, and that when the blind lead the blind they both end up in the ditch. Second, it takes a very special person, both personally and spiritually, to be a true sponsor. Accordingly, it has been my observation that out of 1,000 AA members, only four or five are actually qualified to be sponsors. The rest are just "wannabe" sponsors. They feel it gives them some type of purpose in life or it allows them to try to control other's people's lives when they are incapable of running their own. My advice is to tell your sponsor that he/she is fired, that's it. If he/she won't take "no" for an answer, tell him/her that you want someone who is qualified and that, unfortunately, he/she doesn't qualify. Then, find a real sponsor for yourself. Look for someone who has actual sobriety (no use of alcohol or any dependence upon drugs [including tobacco]), is mature, is intelligent, is spiritual, and is capable of maintaining your confidences (usually a professional person). Ask around before you choose a sponsor. If the person is really qualified, you should get all positive responses. Remember, it's YOUR decision. Don't let someone push himself/herself on you as your sponsor. Much depends on choosing the right sponsor. Choosing the wrong sponsor will only lead you back to where you started. Best of luck, T-Bone. I hope this helps.
Member: Mary S
Time: 5:41:58 AM
Looking for a sponsor??? for God sake don't pick a spiritual giant like the guy above wants you to do. no tobacco or pills. what a stupid statment. We don't stick our nose into personel medical history when looking for a sponsor. I had my last smoke in 1992 and I could pick up a smoke today and thats no concern to the members of A.A. unless of course your cut from the same cloth as Enrique, What a hell of a life it must be going around judgeing other members and there quality of sobriety. Thats the perfect way to avoid looking at ones own short commings.
Location: Essex, England
Time: 5:47:45 AM
The only thing that is keeping me sober at the moment is step 1.
Member: Bill W.
Time: 6:52:22 AM
Excellent Enrique, at least there is one person with common sense hangin around here. Mary is just using the standard aa comeback to go in circles and chase her own tail, all the while yelling open-mindedness, tolerance, and love. Yeah, right. Take it for what it's worth, but if you don't believe it, just go visit the coofee pot and try to say something not in perfect accord with their very thinking and see what happens. Try to not give your real name, address, phone number or anything else and they claim your not sober. The very word anonyimity has been discarded by this place, so you tell me if it could even possibly be remotely true alcoholics ANONYMOUS?