Member:
Sheryl G
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
1:19:44 AM

Comments

My name is Sheryl G from Mesa, AZ and I am an alcoholic.
This is a note of gratitude for all the special people I have
found in my life through the rooms. My higher power has
allowed me to come "home" again. So Merry Christmas
everyone! (:)



Member:
Raincloud
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
5:02:31 AM

Comments

It's Raincloud again, and I'm a "real" alcoholic.

Pat L. - I accidently called you Tom L. before. I hope you are
over your pain. On Thursday night I went to a meeting and a
regular talked about how the cortisone (a steriod) shot he had
that day made him feel a rush that made him think about using
his drug of choice - speed - all day. Fortunately he was able to
think the thing through.

A sober member of AA, in WA - I'm glad the 12 & 12 and the
Big Book are enough for you. On page 164 of the Big Book,
it says "We realize we know only a little. God will constantly
disclose more to you and to us." To me, that means AA left
the possibility of learning and writing more later open.

One example is sponsorship. Sponsorship wasn't mentioned
back then, but it is an accepted practice now.

Another example is medications. AA wrote that booklet back
in 1984. Even though that booklet existed 8 years ago when I
joined AA, I kept hearing folks telling mental health patients to
go off their meds. Many did and ended up in the hospital for a
long time period. Others killed themselves. I decided to keep
my meds to myself. I also saw patients thrown out of groups
even though the only requirement for membership is a desire
to stop drinking.

I found out about the booklet about 3 years ago. I also got
permission from the local mental health clinic to set up a
program called "Good Chemistry," a 12 step program for
mental health patients who are addicted or abuse alcohol or
other drugs. The program is still going strong.

I'm sorry you find "HALT" controversial. Your GSR should
be able to get you (M-I) "Guide for Leading Beginners
Meetings," which includes an eight-page service pamphlet of
suggestions -- plus ten conference-approved pamphlets for
$2.75. Under "Suggested Topics For Beginners Meetings --
#1-How to Stay Away From One Drink One Day at a Time,"
there's a list of 11 suggestions. (They shoulda made it 12 ).
The second one is "The *halt* reminder - never getting too
hungry, angry, lonely, or tired."

I find it a useful tool myself. Someone had mentioned being
cautious about getting tired, and a number of folks mentioned
illness or pain, so I just thought I'd throw it out there.

Anne Marie M. - I was actually going into too much detail on
mental illness. As I understand AA, we're supposed to let the
individual decide if s/he's an alcoholic. We're not supposed to
function as denial busters as the professionals do. (An AA
friend says DENIAL stands for "Don't Even Notice I Am
Lying." *chuckle, chuckle*) Unfortunately I've seen this
happen at AA groups.

I'm really not all that well read on AA literature. I'm fairly
knowledgeable about mood and anxiety disorders as I've
suffered from both. It's quite common for someone with an
anxiety disorder to use to treat mental health symptoms and
become addicted, but they can generally go through a regular
treatment program. One of the stories in the medications book
is of a woman whose doctor prescribed her tranquilizers for
anxiety. The treatment of choice is antidepressants, which are
not addictive.

I personally like a lot of sayings in AA which are not in the
Big Book. I find them helpful. Two acronyms I like are EGO
- Easing or Edging God Out and SLIP - Sobriety Loses It's
Priority.

Carol in SC - Keep hanging in there.

It sounds to me like you've met the insurance limit. Back
when we still had insurance, though, the company was
constantly giving us a hard time. My hubby had the Personnel
Office handle it and things got straightened out that way.

We are going to sound like a million different voices because
we are all sharing our own experiences. Hopefully you can
find some folks that you can relate to.

The topic at the Thursday night meeting I attended was
"varieties of recovery." What works for me might not work
for someone else, and vice versa. I find I can learn from
newcomers and oldtimers. After all, we're all just one drink
away from a drunk.

Raincloud, staying sober one day at a time.



Member:
A sober member in WA
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
6:09:51 AM

Comments

*RAINCLOUD*

Keep comin' back!

If "God will reveal more to us", why do I need to rely upon
man???



Member:
Judy K in God's Country -- Maine
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
11:52:36 AM

Comments

Hey, sober WA member -- because God speaks through
people, that's why! Don't leave the fellowship before the
miracle.



Member:
Scott C
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
2:13:49 PM

Comments

On my way to work...just needed to "hear" the message
before I went out into the real world. I'm absolutely swamped
with fear,and having a very difficult time.



Member:
carol in sc
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
3:02:07 PM

Comments

hi i'm carol i've been moving around in this program and
found all kind of things. i also found chat with a support and
recovery room. today i feel ok. not really depressed. i'm
making sure i take my medicine.i didn't drink last night and
that's good. today i feel like i never want to drink again.. i
hope that stays with me. i hope i'm living one day at a time
and that i start to put it all together. thanks to all and i'll keep
coming back



Member:
Lex B.
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
3:13:23 PM

Comments

Scott: Do you know what "FEAR" stands for Frig everything
and run or face everthing its all real. I choos the second
meaning personally. It helps me to realiaze what ever it is I am
feeling that it's ok cause it is reality and I'm not the only
person in the world that has fears. It was when I learned to
stay around and talk about them that things got a whole lot
easier for me and the difficult times got fewer and fewer and
farther and farther away.

I was once told by an old timer stay around and you will see
and feel the miracle happen and you will be happy, joyous
and free. I use to think what a joke those were the reasons I
drank to be happy, joyous and free. today I do not drink and I
can honestly say the promises are woking in my life and each
day I do not drink I am more happy, joyous and free. Today I
know what he ment. They use to also drill in my head don't
drink and go to meeting. What the frig. I hated that. Today
that is the advice I give out alot. I also tell people to feel free
to talk about what they need to share in order not to drink for
that day. If we keep things inside of use that is what will kill
use. Today I choose not to die. I choose to share my trials
and tribulations in order to get better. I really do not care what
people think of me at the tables cause if I allow them to
dictate to me what I can or can not share then I am doing the
people pleasing thing and today I choose to be me and not to
conform in order for you or others to like me. What I have to
say is important to me so I must say it. Over time I have
learned that there are some things that are to personal to share
in the rooms however I make sure I have a good sponsor or
friend that I can share those things with. If they can not help
me then I seek outside professional help.

I hope that this will help you a little to face your fears.
Remember to just have blind faith and get the hell out of your
own way and things will be ok.

I hope that you have a face to face person you can talk with
to share your difficult times with, however if you don't get
yourself an stayincyber sponsor and start sharing openly, and
honestly

I wish you well

Hugs and smiles all around

Lex B.



Member:
carol in sc
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
5:05:12 PM

Comments

earlier i was moving around in here and found a lot of support
groups. now i can't find anything. can someone help me
please



Member:
A sober member in WA
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
5:55:42 PM

Comments

I need not listen to the dictates of MAN...I am guided by a
Power much greater than that.

None of the literature or "programs" I had tried before AA
ever worked for me at getting sober, and believe you me, I
tried them all. Not the "Happy Homes" I was in, not the jails,
not the churches, none of these things worked for my kind of
alcoholism.

But I came to Alcoholics Anonymous and I haven't had to
drink since.

I don't need someone else's concept of relapse prevention, or
Charlie & Joe tapes, or road less traveled, or disgruntled
C.A.C's trying to push some Phsyc 101 theory, or healing
inner wounded little ones, or anything else. I just need God, as
WE understand Him, AA, & you people, in that order.

If that disturbs you, remember we have a 10th step spiritual
axiom.

KEEP COMIN'BACK, You'll get it eventually

have a sober day and a sober life



Member:
Rich from n.e. phila.
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
6:56:56 PM

Comments

Hi,my name is Rich, and I am an alcoholic. The quote," I
need not listen to the dictates of man,I am guided by aPower
much greater then that." came from a man that was called
Jesus Christ. No resentment here. Love and keep the faith.



Member:
Diane in MA
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
8:52:16 PM

Comments

Hi, Diane here very grateful for another day of sobriety.

Judy K you are absolutely right. God does work through
people and that is why I go to meetings.

Carol C, you seem to be doing a lot better and I hope that you
keep coming back.

Raincloud, I sponsor three girls who are dual diagnosed and
take medications. I get very upset when people in AA say that
you should not take any medications. Depression and mental
illness are chemical deficiencies and are treatable by
medication. AA is for our disease of alcoholism and
medications treat other mental diseases. I do have a fear that
some people stay away from AA because of guilt in taking
medications. We are taught to have patience and tolerance but
not all of us practice that.

I will leave you with my favorite prayer "Please God Don't
Let My Thoughts Disturb My Piece of Mind".

God Bless you All, love one another and Happy Holidays.



Member:
carol in sc
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
9:02:13 PM

Comments

hi i'm carol, just for the record - i do take anti depressants
paxil in the moring and trazadone at night to sleep. question -
do you treat the alcohol first or depression? i seem to be more
depressed than drinking at this point in my life. one counselor
wants to treat depression one wants to treat alxohol best thing
i can do is avoid both. my mind is warp. i've been on the net
all day. i hate evenings. i don't know why. i hate going to bed.
i also tell my husband at night not to go to sleep without me. a
lot of things are going on - i don't really feel anything. it
doesnt' seem like i'm going on my fourth week out of work.
still i can't make it to a meeting. be back later



Member:
Frank N.
Date:
12/7/97
Time:
11:28:21 PM

Comments

Scott C: Maybe you are scared you don't have what it takes to
get "the job" done.

Guess what...maybe you're right! Maybe you don't have
whatever it's going to take. But guess what else...God does!

Someone said once that Fear is the ultimate alarm clock. It
wakes us up! Well, wake up, pal...this is not a test of YOUR
ability. Your situation is not a test at all...and it is certainly
NOTa punishment of some kind.

What it is: a splendid opportunity to witness the demonstration
of the Higher Power at work in YOUR life. But wait, other
folks are involved in this situation too (as usual). So it
becomes the greater opportunity to be of service to others and
"practice our principles in all our affairs". We get to see HOW
the Higher Power works in their lives as well, and God will
show us HOW to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and
every one!

With God's power we can look beyond our fears and their
egos to see the hunger of their spirit and allow the Higher
Power to feed them through us.

It doesn't matter so much what we've done. What matters
most is what we do NEXT. AA's have learned that what we
do next we must never do alone. We must rely on God's help.

Someone told me, what we have here in AA is a design for
living, and that design is steps 10, 11, and 12. The price of
admission, however, is steps 1 through 9. I must inventory my
fears, especially when I become involved with them!

Thanks for allowing me to live today!



Member:
eric in la.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
7:47:59 AM

Comments

Hello everyone, I have not been to a meeting in three weeks
and I am really miserable,I am finding excuses to stay home,I
also find myself getting negative about myself and my
surrondings, i'm also eating everything in sight. Can anyone
tell me anything positive about winter time, I cant get out of
the winter time blues, I feel like hibernating. I like all the
comments about fear, I will make my home group meeting
tomorrow night,



Member:
David C. in Asheville
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
9:13:04 AM

Comments

Carol in SC. It has been my experience that both the
depression and alcoholism must be treated. The alcohol is
always first, and sometime just treating that causes the
depression to go away. However, if the sequence is reversed,
the results can be catastrophic. KISS.

Member:
Glen H
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
9:54:16 AM

Comments

Thanks, David. You're exactly right - before depression can
even be correctly diagnosed, the patient must be alcohol free.
True enough for me, too, about the depression going away.
After all the things I had done in 27 years of drinking, plus the
admission of powerlessness, who wouldn't be depressed? I
thought some pain & depression were part of the deal.

Diligently working the 12 steps (confession of shortcomings,
restitution for harms done, and personal inventory) goes a
long way towards alleviating guilt & shame.

As to the meds v. no-meds debate, I don't see where it has
any place in AA. All of our stuff is suggestions anyway, you
may take it our leave it at your own risk.

As to sponsorship, there are several instances in other AA
approved literature that Bill refers to Ebby as his sponsor.



Member:
LorraineS
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
10:18:01 AM

Comments

eric in la, congratulations on getting to this conference today
and for your decision to attend your home group meeting
tonight. Something I learned in treatment is that the desire to
practice again usually begins 21 days before you actually pick
up... Your Higher Power is with you today my friend, go to
your meeting and talk to someone. If you don't have a
sponsor get one even if it is only a temporary sponsor and
keep talking.

Keep coming back!



Member:
Donnie K MD.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
3:37:37 PM

Comments

Hi Im Donnie K. Im an alcoholic this is my first time at this
meeting. I keep hearing in the rooms GO TO
MEETINGS;PRAY&DONT DRINK NO MATTER WHAT!
I know those things to be RIGHT because I saw it work with
others. So I did them. AT the meetings I would hear things
like got a sponser? readin your big book? Prayin, please in the
morning thank you at night? how many meetings you hittin?
WHAT STEP YOU WORKIN? So I assumed those things to
be RIGHT and do them The coolest thing in AA that I have
found for me is that NO MATTER HOW I FEEL! if I do the
things that Iknow are RIGHT on a DAILY basis I ENJOY
LIFE. Ive been sober a little over a year. I drank & druged on
a DAILY basis for about 23 years, if I do today what I did
yesterday I wont drink or even want to. That is so cool!!
Thank you God for the peopl tht cared enough about me to
tell me the truth. Here is a piece of an article Bill W wrote to
the Grapevine. "If we examine every disturbance we have,
great or small, we will finde at the root of it some unhealthy
dependency and its unhealthy demand. Let us with Gods help,
continually surrender these hobbeling demands. Then we can
be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth
Step ourselves and others into EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.
thanks fer lettin me share.



Member:
Debra
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
3:37:40 PM

Comments

Debra here, I'm coming off a bad weekend but I got through
it. I woke up yesterday thinking I just want to get drunk, just
to get out of the pain. I didn't do it. I've been trying to use the
HP thing when having a bad momment or day and guess what
all things do pass. I've been praying alot to my HP and trying
to let him take over. I feel stronger today and am taking it one
day at a time.



Member:
Donnie K MD.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
4:21:26 PM

Comments

Hi Im Donnie K. Im an alcoholic this is my first time at this
meeting. I keep hearing in the rooms GO TO
MEETINGS;PRAY&DONT DRINK NO MATTER WHAT!
I know those things to be RIGHT because I saw it work with
others. So I did them. AT the meetings I would hear things
like got a sponser? readin your big book? Prayin, please in the
morning thank you at night? how many meetings you hittin?
WHAT STEP YOU WORKIN? So I assumed those things to
be RIGHT and do them. The coolest thing in AA that I have
found for me is that NO MATTER HOW I FEEL! if I do the
things that I know are RIGHT on a DAILY basis I ENJOY
LIFE. Ive been sober a little over a year. I drank & druged on
a DAILY basis for about 23 years, if I do today what I did
yesterday I wont drink or even want to. That is so cool!!
Thank you God for the people that cared enough about me to
tell me the truth. Here is a piece of an article Bill W wrote to
the Grapevine. "If we examine every disturbance we have,
great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy
dependency and its unhealthy demand. Let us with Gods help
, continually surrender these hobbeling demands. Then we can
be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth
Step ourselves and others into EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.
thanks fer lettin me share.



Member:
Lex B.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
6:16:59 PM

Comments

Hi folks Lex here from Ontario. Wow lots of stuff and lots of
debates. Eric get your ass to a meeting. Your only miserable
and negative cause you are not taking your medicine daily.
You see for my disease of alcoholism they gave me a
prescription to take daily for ninety days and then three times
a week or more for the next year, or I could die. You see my
disease is as serious to me as having cancer or any other
disease and if they gave me a plan of recovery to any of them
I would follow it so same goes for alcoholism. For me
personally when I am stuffing with food, sex, phone, people,
computer, etc.. that means something is going on for me and
also for me one addiction leads to another. If I don't get to the
bottom of it, it will onlybe a matter of time before I use
another one of my addictions. What is going on, and how are
you really feeling. Stop stuffing and look at what is really
going on. Stuffing is just one step in the relapse process. Not
going to meetings is another, hiberation is another. If I were
you I start to worry about prevention of a relapse. Sorry don't
mean to scar you but sometimes it takes someone else calling
us on our shit, that helps us to open our eyes and to smell the
coffee.

I too suffer from the winter blues and hiberation. What I do is
give my place a winter face lift. I open the windows as soon
as I get up I put bright colours through out my place and I try
to put fresh cut flowers throughout the house to brighten
things up. I force my self to do ninety meetings in ninety days
forcing me out of the house. I try to make sure I have a job or
some where to go each day. I get out of self and into others. I
call my friends and relatives often just to talk so I don't avoid
them. All these things seem silly and teatious but it works for
me. Try some of these suggestions it might help you.

God does work through others and through me. When I share
with others daily and they share with me we work together in
helping each other. This is a gift that AA has given me.

Medication for depression is a hot topic in AA. It is one that I
talk about often cause it saved my life. When I first came to
the rooms around 3 years ago my doctors refused to treat my
depression. I searched around till I found a doctor that would.
I took zoloft for 18 months. It helped me tremendously,
without it I believe I would be dead to day. I believe it literally
saved my life. Today I have been off the drug for almost a
year and am doing great. The big book tells us to seek out side
help if we need it. I agree. And if medication is part of that
outside help well go for it. Do not let anyone in the rooms tell
you that it is against AA and that you are still using if you are
on medication. That is TOTAL BULLSHIT!!! Also do not let
them tell you it is an outside issue and it is not to be discussed
in these rooms again that is bullshit. If it is what you need to
talk about in order to stay sober then go for it. I really do not
care what people think of me and what I share. All my life I
was told children are seen and not heard, big girls don't cry,
quiet, don't tell anyone. That's crap, that why we have
discussion meeting to talk about those things that are causing
us to have difficulties living life on lifes terms and for me
today my life is worth living to the fullest and after all thats
what AA is all about. It is a program of life. It is teaching us a
new way of living.

Someone used KISS do you know what it means.

KISS=keep identifying stay sober

Great stuff Debra

Hope I have not offended anyone but as they told me when I
first came around, Keep an open mind and remember this is
only my opinion and take what you need and leave the rest on
the self for another time and if you don't ever need it oh well.

I hope everyone has had a great day and remember the
following: a) don't drink & go to meetings b) get a sponsor c)
join a group d) get active e) get the hell out of your own way
f) let go and let GOD, CREATOR or your higher power do
for you as you just screw it up any ways

Take care and have great meeting

HUGS & SMILES ALL AROUND

Lex B.



Member:
Lex B.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
6:17:14 PM

Comments

Hi folks Lex here from Ontario. Wow lots of stuff and lots of
debates. Eric get your ass to a meeting. Your only miserable
and negative cause you are not taking your medicine daily.
You see for my disease of alcoholism they gave me a
prescription to take daily for ninety days and then three times
a week or more for the next year, or I could die. You see my
disease is as serious to me as having cancer or any other
disease and if they gave me a plan of recovery to any of them
I would follow it so same goes for alcoholism. For me
personally when I am stuffing with food, sex, phone, people,
computer, etc.. that means something is going on for me and
also for me one addiction leads to another. If I don't get to the
bottom of it, it will onlybe a matter of time before I use
another one of my addictions. What is going on, and how are
you really feeling. Stop stuffing and look at what is really
going on. Stuffing is just one step in the relapse process. Not
going to meetings is another, hiberation is another. If I were
you I start to worry about prevention of a relapse. Sorry don't
mean to scar you but sometimes it takes someone else calling
us on our shit, that helps us to open our eyes and to smell the
coffee.

I too suffer from the winter blues and hiberation. What I do is
give my place a winter face lift. I open the windows as soon
as I get up I put bright colours through out my place and I try
to put fresh cut flowers throughout the house to brighten
things up. I force my self to do ninety meetings in ninety days
forcing me out of the house. I try to make sure I have a job or
some where to go each day. I get out of self and into others. I
call my friends and relatives often just to talk so I don't avoid
them. All these things seem silly and teatious but it works for
me. Try some of these suggestions it might help you.

God does work through others and through me. When I share
with others daily and they share with me we work together in
helping each other. This is a gift that AA has given me.

Medication for depression is a hot topic in AA. It is one that I
talk about often cause it saved my life. When I first came to
the rooms around 3 years ago my doctors refused to treat my
depression. I searched around till I found a doctor that would.
I took zoloft for 18 months. It helped me tremendously,
without it I believe I would be dead to day. I believe it literally
saved my life. Today I have been off the drug for almost a
year and am doing great. The big book tells us to seek out side
help if we need it. I agree. And if medication is part of that
outside help well go for it. Do not let anyone in the rooms tell
you that it is against AA and that you are still using if you are
on medication. That is TOTAL BULLSHIT!!! Also do not let
them tell you it is an outside issue and it is not to be discussed
in these rooms again that is bullshit. If it is what you need to
talk about in order to stay sober then go for it. I really do not
care what people think of me and what I share. All my life I
was told children are seen and not heard, big girls don't cry,
quiet, don't tell anyone. That's crap, that why we have
discussion meeting to talk about those things that are causing
us to have difficulties living life on lifes terms and for me
today my life is worth living to the fullest and after all thats
what AA is all about. It is a program of life. It is teaching us a
new way of living.

Someone used KISS do you know what it means.

KISS=keep identifying stay sober

Great stuff Debra

Hope I have not offended anyone but as they told me when I
first came around, Keep an open mind and remember this is
only my opinion and take what you need and leave the rest on
the self for another time and if you don't ever need it oh well.

I hope everyone has had a great day and remember the
following: a) don't drink & go to meetings b) get a sponsor c)
join a group d) get active e) get the hell out of your own way
f) let go and let GOD, CREATOR or your higher power do
for you as you just screw it up any ways

Take care and have great meeting

HUGS & SMILES ALL AROUND

Lex B.



Member:
kay h alberta. can.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
8:16:54 PM

Comments

hi every one this is kay and i'm an alcholic from alberta in
canada. nice to hear from you all. a.a. is a great suppor group
for me and surely has saved my life. i too suffer from
depression at times but found if i get out of self and with
others that understand me it seems to go away .my higher
power has helped me alot, without HIM i am nothing. carol
you are a great lady don't give up and keep coming BACK .
my prayers are with you .



Member:
Kerry B.
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
10:34:28 PM

Comments

My name is Kerry and I'm an alcoholic in Idaho. This is great,
it has been a while since I have had an opportunity to hear so
much. I have been working the program for almost 18 years
and cannot express enough gratitude for the big book and the
principles and steps. I know that I would have been dead a
long time ago, for sure. One of the hardest things for me to do
was get out of my own way. I did not understand at first that
it was my actions and reactions that had caused me so much
heartache. But, I kept coming back and eventually I began to
see the truth. I had no choice, I could drink and die, or I could
show up and try to listen and read the book. That was it. I
have been able with the help of God to lead a decent life, have
kids, husband etc. And even be happy, joyous and free.
Never let anything or anybody run you out of the program. Us
alchololics have too much to lose - our sanity and our lives.
Note to Lex - I was always told that KISS meant Keep It
Simple Stupid. I like your version too.



Member:
Perry in Pennsylvania
Date:
12/8/97
Time:
10:45:45 PM

Comments

Hello. My name is Perry, and I am an alcoholic:

As your group treasurer I would like to thank Chris P, Ron L,
Lynn, Richard, Rita Jean, Mary S, Tom L, Joanie O, George
M, Perry H and Ron for the contribtions to the "Pass the Hat"
portion of our Web Page. It has gone to help support our
group. Our checking account now has a balance of $313.65. I
will pay the bill for the administration and set up of this site
this week and then pass the balance along to our General
Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. A prudent reserve
of $100. is kept in the account so that there are no addtional
bank charges. Our assistant treasurer will co sign the
payments this Wednesday evening. A treasurers report will be
available next week detailing all expenses. A warm thank you
to all of our supporters! Please keep thoses donations coming,
They keep our meeting alive! Sincerely Perry H in PA your
treasurer.



Member:
carol in sc
Date:
12/9/97
Time:
1:09:35 AM

Comments

life is like a roller coaster and i would like to get off. i'm 33 -
now we're looking at menopause. now do i treat the
depression, alcohol or menopause first. i feel like my life is in
a down hill spiral and it won't stop. what to do what to do
what to do after making three days - i decided to have a beer.
i just don't know what else to do. i feel yucky and don't know
why. everytime i think i got a hold on things someone has to
show me the other side. i don't have kids. will this freak me,
my husband? i just don't know what i want. i was happy to
know why i'm not functioning - then wonder if its' the best.
not on my own. someone said"are you ready for this" what if
i'm not -- do i have a choice why bother to ask i just don't
know what to do - i know get out and get to a meeting. easier
said then done' what to do what to do what to do



Member:
Raincloud
Date:
12/9/97
Time:
5:16:52 AM

Comments

Hey, it's Raincloud and I'm *still* an alcoholic! *grin*

Diane in NA - I'm so glad you're sponsoring the 3 girls. I
understand back in '39 when the Big Book was written there
really weren't any effective medications for alcoholism and/or
mental illness, but I don't understand why it took AA until '84
to write the Meds booklet. Lots of medications became
available back in the '60's. I like your prayer, too, but it's too
long for me when I'm stressed out. :)

Eric - I sure hope your winter blues is just that and not clinical
depression. A mood that persists for 2 weeks is long enough
for a diagnosis. Eating everything in sight is definitely a sign of
change in appetite, which can be a symptom of depression.
SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder is most common during
the winter. Treatment is meds and/or light therapy.

I remember a _Northern Exposure_ episode when Joel
prescribed light therapy to Walt. Joel warned Walt to follow
the directions, but Walt insisted on overdosing on the light
therapy. *chuckle, chuckle* Hey, it's fiction - I can laugh. ;-D

I'm glad you're planning on going to a meeting. I find that
when I really don't want to go is when I need to go the most.

Glen H. - Yes, sponsorship is mentioned in the 12 & 12 and
much more conference approved literature. It's not in the Big
Book, though.

I haven't been able to get the 2 offsite links to work from this
site. They are Alcoholics Anonymous
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org and The Online
Intergroup of AA http://aa-intergroup.org

For some other on-line meetings, chat channels, mailing lists,
etc., see Online AA Recovery Resources
http://www.recovery.org/aa/homepage.html and Sobriety &
Recovery Resources
http://www.winternet.com/~terrym/sobriety.html

Carol - I'm glad to see you're experiencing a little relief. I
suspect you hate evenings as doing them sober is a new
experience. I used to avoid sleep, too, especially when my
PTSD was giving me nightmares.

Most folks are going to say treat the alcoholism first. After all,
a lot of folks have depression that will lift after they get off the
alcohol. Many therapists refuse to treat anyone using alcohol
or street drugs (or addicted to prescription drugs).

I'm glad that's not what happened to me. Although alcohol
abuse was part of my diagnosis, I managed to get sober
through AA. One agency that I applied to for help (I wanted in
the Battered Women's Shelter) refused me saying I needed to
get alcohol treatment. They gave me a referral. That place
sent me to a new residential program for women w/o children
for screening. It was a lockup program. That brought up my
PTSD fears. I would only be allowed to make phone calls on
Saturday. I had by this time a loving community of folks from
my church. I also had a priest who was my sponsor in a 12
step program. Another priest and friend was participating in a
Stephen ministry to me. I had 2 friends in AA who knew the
meds discussion was off-limits. The screener finally said a
priest could maybe visit me once. I couldn't see losing all this
support and giving up my therapist temporarily. Then the
screener said I'd have to go off my meds. FOAD!!! My
psychiatrist, mental health caseworker and therapist all agreed
with my decision.

By the way, the 2 AA friends are still my friends. The one
guy is still so paranoid of medications that the other friend and
I have to "order" him to take an anti-diarreheal (sp?)or
antiobiotic. His exwife is schizophrenic and is now on
maintenance medications.

The other friend comforted me when I "failed" to "qualify" for
the treatment program. He explained how researchers make
their studies look good this way. He has since discovered that
he, too, suffers from major depression on top of his
alcoholism and takes maintenance medications.

Most folks who have an incidence of depression will only
have one in their lifetime. I, however, have had many. I tried
to kill myself when I was 6 years old by going in a closet and
closing the door, which I couldn't lock. I certainly wasn't
drinking back then! My diagnosis is major depression,
recurrent, which remits to dysthmia (a milder form of
depression). I am now on medication for the rest of my life. I
can live with this - it's much better than dying. *grin* If my
alcoholism ever progresses to where I need treatment, I will
try hard to find a place with a dual diagnosis program. The 2
things that mess up my mental illness the fastest are not taking
my meds (or not getting them adjusted as soon as possible if I
need to) and drinking.

2 Dual Diagnosis websites: http://sbwm.erols.com/ksciacca/
http://www.monumental.com/arcturus/dd/ddhome.htm

Sorry there's no easy answer, Carol. I would be especially
suspicious of anyone saying your depression is caused by the
alcohol if you've had episodes before, been hospitalized
before for depression, or have a family history of mental
illness. I had all these factors when I went to be screened.
One side of my family suffers from bipolar disorder, the other
depression. Both sides suffer from alcoholism.

But I'm happy, joyous, not quite free, and sober today!
Thank you, God, and thank you folks in the fellowship!

Member:
Frank N.
Date:
12/9/97
Time:
5:16:59 AM

Comments

Carol in SC (and group): I was a depressive-type drunk...I
never understood the "barroom brawlers" I met in AA,
because I drank alone mostly, and I drank to black out. After
about 90 days of attending AA meetings it became obvious
that I had no other oprion but to take the steps. I tried to read
the book, but just reading the book and attending meetings
wasn't changing anything, in fact I felt worse as I began to
realize just how sick I seemed to be. I regarded the person (or
thing!) I had become with deep loathing.

I did pray, and one day I found the nerve to ask an AA to
consider being a sponsor to show me how to take the steps.
He looked at me with that smile behind his eyes and said
"Frank, tell me what it's like!" My reply was "It's like I'm
down at the bottom of this deep hole filled with shit and I
gotta get out cause I'm drowning." John smiled and said "I
have this ladder that has twelve rungs on it that you can use to
climb out if you want to." I realized he was talking about the
12 steps of AA. But then he looked at me square in the face
and asked "Is that what you want?"

I knew what I said next might make or break this deal and felt
as if my future depended on me selling him this idea that I
might be worth saving, but I heard my own voice say "John, I
guess what I really want is for everybody to climb down in
here with me to keep me company!" I was astonished. I
thought I had really blown the deal. He looked at me and said
"We're not going to do that, but you can climb out if you want
to, cause we have a pretty good life up here!" I had watched
him lining for a few months, and from what I could see, he
was telling the truth.

There is a way out of misery. When all else fails, take the
steps!



Member:
PAT L KANSAS CITY
Date:
12/9/97
Time:
6:08:08 AM

Comments

Hi, Im Pat L and Im an alcoholic and druggy.

LEX B.- you da man! I enjoyed what you shared. I learned
KISS, Keep it simple stupid. Whatever works right. Right now
Im tired, this is a no-no. I went to my family reunion this
weekend. Everyone is in AA. They all have more sobriety
than I, funny because I was able to say some stuff they had
forgotten or put "on the back burner". It jarred their memory,
got some genuine smiles. I picked up a phraze to share with
you. "You are where you are,because You are doing what
you're doing" If you're not building your program,working
your program. I would bet you're misrable. Get with your
God or higher power, ask for help in the morning, say thank
you at night. Cut your ass off, put it in a bag, and drag it to a
meeting. Someone there will help you to get re-attached, at
least tell you how YOU CAN DO IT! Special thanks to
Lorraine, true angel and Lex for his words to ponder. 1daat !
Keep comin back, it works if ya work it Pat L Kansas City
Missouri, DIRTYFERTY@HOTMAIL.COM



Member:
Lex B.
Date:
12/9/97
Time:
1:20:56 PM

Comments

Hi Pat: First of all I am a female. Secondly I am not
miserable. Thirdly I go to meetings as often as I can usely
everyday or every other day. I have a wonder relationship
with me creator. Pat I have struggled with this program for
almost three years but 9 months I let go and let my creator
take over and ever since I did this life seems to be going really
well for me. I have a fantastic sponsor whom is guiding me
through the steps, I go to an after care program, and I as I
said before attend lots and lots of meetings.

What I shared was for the hopes in order to help those who
where struggling, Carol, Eric, etc.. but thanks for your advice.

I realize what the old meaning of KISS means however all my
life I was told I was stupid and when I heard it put as keep
identifying stay sober, I thought this to be a nicer version so I
decided to share it with the rest of you cause today I chose
not to insinuate to anyone they are stupid. It could also mean
keep it simple sweetie, again what ever works for ya!!!

Thanks Pat for your words of wisdom and hopefully they will
help someone and as for me I will take what I need and the
rest will go on the shelf for a rainy day.

Everyone another 24 hours

HUGS AND SMILES ALL AROUND

Lex B. Canada



Member:
Glen H
Date:
12/9/97
Time:
3:14:52 PM

Comments

Lex, I appreciate your honesty. Your statement: "my doctors
refused to treat my depression. I searched around till I found a
doctor that would" sums it completely.

I'm like the doctor in the book 'I can't say, "God could restore
me to sanity, but until He does, I'll control myself - with
pills."'



Member:
Rich G. in WA
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
12:50:41 AM

Comments

I'm an alcoholic named Rich.

Hi eveybody! (one at a time, that is)

Been very busy the past two weeks, and haven't had much
time to sit at this 'puter.

Special hi's to Miss Joanie, Judy K, and our special friends,
the techs, who put this site together. Good job!!!

God Bless you all, especially, that group of friends in a certian
eastern Pennsie town.

*FALSH*FLASH*FLASH* In case you haven't seen it yet,
Perry has another GREAT topic going on for the 'Current
Meeting'...good job, Perry.

Hope to be able to chat more next time, duty calls so I must
run...

Much Love, regards, and respect to you all, and have a happy
24 chio, for now



Member:
Raincloud
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
3:43:20 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Raincloud, and I'm a grateful alcoholic. :D

Carol in SC - you say "everytime i think i got a hold on things
someone has to show me the other side"

I'm not too sure what you're getting at, but in AA, HOW we
do it is by being Honest, Open-Minded and Willing. So you're
going to hear differing opinions/experiences.

Everytime I think I've got a hold on things, I get on my knees
and pray. See, I'm not just powerless over alcohol. Any
illusion of control I have over my life is *just* that, an
illusion. Most of the world is too scared to admit that, though.

On the kids/no kids thing. Just my opinion, but I think it's just
noise in your brain from the depression making you question
everything.

I'm not trying to say we should all run around ignorant, but a
lot of intellectual stuff is just BS. I had intellectual problems
with some of the stuff in this program. I decided to give it an
open-minded try. Besides, God told me to. It works! I don't
like staying stuck up in my brain. When I really *know*
something, I *experience* it. I can often feel it in my heart,
sometimes in my guts, even in my bones. Now, that's
*knowing* something!

I'm not sure why you think you have to make a priority list of
your medical problems. Why not treat them all?

WARNING! GIRL TALK! READ ON AT YOUR OWN
RISK!

Women can have 1 drink per day and this may help to
decrease heart disease and osteoporosis. However, alcohol has
bioflavinoids and phytoestrogens (plant estrogens) in it. So 1
drink per day increases women's risk of breast and
endometrial cancer. Even 4 drinks per week increases the risk
of breast cancer. More than 2 drink per day for women is
defined as heavy drinking.

Hats off to those women who can drink this little! I must
admit a glass of Chambord is a lot more fun than tylenol or
advil. However, I haved failed my controlled drinking
experiments and I know I'm an alcoholic. :D

Menopause doesn't always need to be treated. Check out
http://members.aol.com/suelovemd/index.htm There's a
questionaire there, too. In her book, she talks about Western
and alternative medicine and lifestyle changes. I found her
Hormone Book at my library this year.

If you're having premature menopause, she mentions that that
you might want to take hormones until your 50, the average
age of menopause, to reduce the increased risk for bone loss
and higher cholesterol levels. At 50, you can reevaluate your
decision.

I actually went out of the AA program due to menopause. I
went through surgical menopause at 37. I complained that my
hormone therapy wasn't doing too well. The doctor changed
the scrip. I didn't respond well to that. In fact, things seemed
to be getting worse and I was definitely depressed. This isn't
unusual in these circumstances. He refused to change the
scrip. I started drinking and quit going to AA. Finally, a year
after the surgery the doctor agreed to change my prescription.
I immediately responded to the meds. The depression lifted
and I quit drinking and got back in AA. I don't know why the
doctor was so stubborn - the medication I take is not unusual
for women in my situation.

Just my opinion, but the web is much more up to date than
many doctors are on this issue.

Thank you, God, thank you, AA Program, and thank you, AA
fellowship, for another day of sobriety!



Member:
Stephen G
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
4:39:34 AM

Comments

Hi I am Stephen and an alcoholic from Australia.I have been
in the feloship now for about 18 months.I stayed sober for
about 12 months and now I keep on busting.I still go to
meetings and have got a sponser and follow the steps.I realey
want to stay sober but I dont know what I am doing wrong.At
the moment my life is not unmanageable I have got a job and
money in the bank,I am single so no famley problems.Can
someone out there please help me.



Member:
David C., Asheville NC
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
6:58:32 AM

Comments

Hi, David the drunk here.

Dear Aussie, it sounds like things are QUITE unmanagable in
your life if you can not stay sober. The job and the money
will go eventually, just like mine did. Right now you are on
the first half of the first step. Sounds like you are having
trouble admitting POWERLESSNESS, so of course things still
seem managable. I strongly suggest reading the first step in the
12/12. Alcoholics have a hard time admitting utter defeat. The
smarter we think we are, the more in trouble we are. Just
don't drink today. You can always get roaring drunk
tomorrow. That is why it is a one day at a time program.

I will have to get a meeting list from you when I haed that
way in a few months.



Member:
Joanie O Portland,Pa
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
9:45:31 AM

Comments

Hi all Joanie O alcoholic here, We are so lucky to have this
program to guide us; We are not AA doctors!!!! we cannot tell
one another what to do ! we can only share our OWN
experience strenght and hope, we can quote until we are blue
in the face and read all the facts out of the nearest text book
but until we have experienced it we connot share it .Advice
giving is cheap but experiences shared are golden. This site is
here for us to identify and seek hope not to councel one
another love to all especially my friend Rich in Wa. and miss
Judy in Me



Member:
Frank N.
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
10:50:24 AM

Comments

Stephen in Australia: You have reminded me of a period of
time in my life when it seemed I had it all under
control...except...

except the drinking problem (of course).

Underneath it all, it seemed like I was always waiting for the
other shoe to drop. After all, each situation or circumstance I
would engineer to make life better always seemed to contain
the hidden element that would eventually cause the whole
house of cards to come tumbling down right on time...usually
a time when I was least prepared for it. Why was it always
such a surprise?

Like many of us, I can look back through my life and see the
time when I could have stopped drinking on my own, but the
desire wasn't there...after all when I compared myself to a
few select associates, I was doing really well.

Things over time became much more amplified, or
eggagerated: The good times got much better, but for a shorter
duration, and the bad times got much worse, but lasted longer.
And my drinking followed this pattern exactly. Until
everything stopped working, including the drinking. I was
burnt out.

Thank God I found AA.

And thank you for giving me the opportunity to reconsider
part of my story. I learned in AA to tell my story to other
alcoholics, and to listen to theirs. Most of us get little relief
until we tell another alcoholic our WHOLE story...and listen
to theirs. We keep doing this over and over, because as we
learn more about the kind of honesty it takes to beat the drink,
our stories change somewhat to conform to the facts, the real
facts.

Within the environment of a group conscience, where each
one has made a conscious decision to allow God to participate
in what happens NEXT, I've heard some remarkable things
revealed. I've even heard my own voice say smart stuff! The
delusions are lifted, and the drink problem that was designed
to support those delusions vanishes.

Find a group of AA's and sit with them to listen to their
drinking story. Ask them to listen to yours. Allow them to
challenge your thoroughness and honesty. Just be sure you
make that conscious decision to ask God to participate, and
watch the "magic" happen!

And please, keep us posted here. You are welcome and
wanted!



Member:
Cherise D.
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
11:04:48 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Cherise and I'm an alcoholic.

Joanie I couldn't have said it better myself!!!! I totally agree
with everything you said. The only requirement for AA
membership is a desire to stop drinking, and if we have
problems other than drinking we can do the footwork and go
to the doctor. I come to this meeting for serenity and to hear
other peoples experience, strength, and hope, and it really irks
me when I hear advice from one to another. Like Joanie said
we are not doctors,We are also NOT marriage counselors, or
advice givers, we are a bunch of alcoholics trying to stay
sober one day at a time with the experience of the people who
have been there before us. This is the place that I come for
my serenity. Thanks all of you for being here.



Member:
Glen H
Date:
12/10/97
Time:
2:12:23 PM

Comments

It is a spiritual axiom that when we are irked, the problem lies
within.



Member:
Kerry B.
Date:
12/11/97
Time:
12:50:11 AM

Comments

I got sober in a rather large metropolitan area and once in my
"new sobriety" I was whining in a meeting (I'm grateful for the
patience and tolerance of the people there) about how life was
just rotten etc. etc. After the meeting an old timer came up to
me and "strongly suggested" that I take a ride with him. He
took me and my whining attitude to "the nickel" (5th St., LA)
where I could observe visually where I could end up if I kept
drinking. I had to be shown alot in AA. It was quite an
experience for me, it really opened my "young" eyes. I'm so
grateful for the people in AA who took me by the hand and
shared their experience, strength, and hope. Even when I
did'nt want the truth, I got it.

Thank you all for "sharing"



Member:
Raincloud
Date:
12/11/97
Time:
2:16:41 AM

Comments

It's Raincloud, and I'm a grateful alcoholic.

Thought I'd share a laugh from tonight's meeting. At the
beginning of our meeting, the chair announces where the trash
cans are and the butt can is, etc. and asks us to pick up after
ourselves. Well, tonight he said "Clear away the wreckage of
your presents." ;D

(Newcomers: It's a wordplay - presents/presence. On page
164 of the Big Book, it says "Clear away the wreckage of
your past.")

Member:
carol in sc
Date:
12/11/97
Time:
10:15:57 AM

Comments

yesterday was a wonderful day. had no drink and suffered
from no depression. i go this afternoon from the hormone test.
i hope that this mood last. i actually wrapped gifts last night
which i don't think i've done in a couple of years. i never
really liked christmas but my spouse loves it and thats what
always made me try to handle it. still no aa. two classes left ,
still not sure about rehab. i really just don't know what to do
but when i'm feeling good i need to go to aa. especially when i
can get out. tonight i have class so that's my excuse. class is at
the same time thanks for the information.



Member:
Jimmy K.
Date:
12/11/97
Time:
7:33:36 PM

Comments

Hey Raincloud,

I enjoyed reading about the "wreckage of your presents."
Along the same thread, I've aways wanted to say, "bowl along
spiritual lanes" (see: "grow along spiritual lines"). Very glad
I'm not as squirrely as I was the night that one entered my
pickled brain. Keep typin',



Member:
Nan D.
Date:
12/11/97
Time:
10:35:15 PM

Comments

I am Nan and I am an alcoholic and drug addict. This is my
first day on the internet meeting. As long as people stay to the
singleness of our purpose to stay sober, I think I'm going to
like it here. Carol I am so glad to hear you had a good day,
there are PLENTY of those kind of days out there. One Day
At A Time, is all we can do. I went to my home group
tonight, I did not want to go, tonights excuse was the snowy
roads, when I got out there, there wasn't any snowy roads
they were all clear. When I wanted to go to drink I had no
excuses. The meeting was just great like most meetings are,
I'm glad I went. The step we did was the 9th, I have so many
amends to make, it scares me. Whats funny is most of the
people I hurt by lying, stealing, or whatever already knows it.
Doing my amends should be a good thing, so why does it
scare me so much. Well I will do it one amends at a time, and
do alot of praying. This meeting is just wonderful. Hope
everyone has a great holiday. Remember though, its just
another day. Love you all Nan D. PA



Member:
Raincloud
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
2:31:54 AM

Comments

Hey, it's Raincloud, and I'm still an alcoholic.

Carol in SC - Sounds like you're detoxing fine without medical
help. Not only are you up and functioning, but you feel good.
I'm so happy for you.

AA doesn't promise us a bed of thornless roses. There are ups
and downs, but coping with life on life's terms *sober* is what
we learn to do.

Jimmy K - "Bowl along spirtual lanes" - I like that - I think I
better not volunteer to read the first sheet at a meeting too
soon - *devilish grin*

You may have thought of it pickled, but I have all kinds of
fun with my sober brain. Some say laughter is the best
medicine. I find it a close second to love.

All - 9th Step - I was scared to do this. I realized I was afraid
folks might not forgive me. I worked with my sponser, a
priest. I saw that whether the person forgave me or not was
*that* person's problem, not mine. Making amends, or at least
being willing to (if the amends weren't accepted), was my
part. That made it a heck of a lot easier for me.

Nan D. - "The Coffee Pot is intended for general discussion
on any topics not necessarily related to alcoholism..." Perhaps
you'd be more comfortable in the Current Meeting, were
those that have a desire to stop drinking can share once per
week how their drinking or alcoholism relates to the current
topic.



Member:
Pat L Kansas City
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
7:44:15 AM

Comments

Hi, this is Pat L, Im an alcoholic

1st sorry LEX B, I simply am triing to share and am not as
well versed as you.

Stuck in my mind today is a phraze- "You are where you are
because you are doing what you are doing" Are doing all you
can to stay sober, the steps and prayers and what AA says.
Today I am. Thanks to God, and all of you

Lex Sorry, I didnt know your were female, if I were perfect, I
wouldnt need this program or God



Member:
Rich G. in WA
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
10:33:59 AM

Comments

to carol in sc...

My sponsor told me a long time ago, "there are only TWO
meetings you need to attend...the one you WANT to go to,
and the one you DON'T want to go to.

What choice did I have? It was either that or the bottle. I'm
sure glad I kept coming!!!!



Member:
Greg
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
12:39:32 PM

Comments

If you like everyone in AA. You are not going to enough
meetings



Member:
KAY H CANADA
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
2:50:45 PM

Comments

HI EVERYONE OU THERE. I'M KAY FROM ALBERTA
IN CANADA AND I WOULD JUST LIKE TO WISH YOU
ALL A SAFE AND SOBER WEEK END . TALK TO YOU
ALL NEXT WEEK.



Member:
Rich F.
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
9:30:16 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Rich F. in Peru, IN. The subject of prescribed
meds comes up about every 6 months at my home group. The
answer is always the same. If a doctor prescribes it take it.



Member:
Nan D.
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
10:08:05 PM

Comments

Good evening everyone, I had a realy great day, full of alot of
serenity. This is a rarity. I opened and lead a meeting tonight
for a friend that could not make it. It wasn't even my home
group, just a meeting I frequented often. I even decided I was
not going to that meeting on Friday nights often, because I
moved recently, and its further away. I also just changed my
home group. Anyway on the way to the meeting tonight with
a friend, I was talking to her how good God has been to me. I
am from Brooklyn, NY and now live in the Pocono Montains,
no matter what kind of day I have, or where I sm driving to,
the scenary around me is just magnificent. I am just so
greatful. Being the kind of person I was for sooooo many
years, I never lived in one place for more than a year for over
20 years, now I am settled, paying my bills, and even at the
same job for three years. I am such a miracle. Every day in
AA gets better and better, even when its not going that great.I
shared tonight, that one of the reasons I chose thia new home
group, is because they go out on speaking commitments.
When I first got sober I could share and speak like I was born
to do it. Since I have a FEW 24'S together, and I guess got a
little honest I panick when someone asks me to speak, or even
sharing at a meeting is difficult. A friend asked me to speak at
her anniversary, and I panick just thinking about it. I think I'm
rambling, so I will say goodnight. Safe weekend, Love to all,
Nan from the beautiful Pocono Mountains.



Member:
Tech
Date:
12/12/97
Time:
11:40:03 PM

Comments

Raincloud,

I have investigated your report of the links not working on the
AA links page, this was tested in Netscape 2,3,4 Internet
Explorer 1,2,3,4 and NSCA Mosaic 3. The links work in all
but IE 4, although another member says they work in his
version of IE4. These links have a target to open a new
browser window a standard tag for HTML 3.2, but this also
works in browsers that support older HTML specs.

If you are running IE4 and experiencing this problem, you
may want to contact Bill Gates and report it as a bug.

If anyone else is having a problem with the AA links not
working in any other Web Browser (besides IE4), please send
an e-mail to tech@stayingcyber.org and report your operating
system and brower version and we will look into it further.

Thanks Barry L. Staying Cyber Tech



Member:
dave b
Date:
12/13/97
Time:
2:37:35 AM

Comments

thank you god for letting me be here, thank you for everyone i
know being here. these are the little prayers i use every day to
sustain. I love aa, it has saved my life. I just wanted to
express my gratitude. dont drink, go to meetings and trust god.
dave b.



Member:
Judy K in Maine
Date:
12/13/97
Time:
5:54:53 AM

Comments

Thanks Lex B and Donnie K for saying it so well! We have a
progressive disease that gets worse, never better -- but
sobriety is progressive too -- if we follow the Program.

When Bill W was asked if he'd rewrite any of the AA
literature, he said he'd change just one word. He'd remove
"Rarely" and insert "NEVER ...have we seen a person fail
who has thoroughly followed our path."

Wishing you all a serene holiday season -- especially my old
friends from the Poconos who are still there or have moved
far away.



Member:
swede s
Date:
12/13/97
Time:
11:20:08 AM

Comments

My name is swede and I'm an alcoholic, Thanks to all for
sharing. I'm new to the program and am looking for all the
help and support I can get. Fourteen days sober and a dozen
AA meetings, plus a few visits online.

After thirty seven years of drinking I've finally admitted to the
first step of the program. I am powerless over alcohol and that
my life has become unmanageable. So far-so good I am
finding strength and hope in the rooms and searching for God
in my heart. This weeks topic of Let Go let God was
extremely important to me. I learned last night at a step
meeting (no.3) that the willingness to let go and let god was
the foundation for all of the remaining steps. I've got a lot to
learn.

I'll keep coming back - it works if you work it



Member:
carol in sc
Date:
12/13/97
Time:
5:42:04 PM

Comments

well, it's me again. still in a pretty good mood but hate nights.
the darkness makes me sad. i hate going to bed and i don't
know why. went to lunch with some friends yesterday and
drank two beers. i dont know why i did it i just did. a friend
and i were going to get out for a while afterwards and she
asked me was i going to make this an all day thing. i told her i
didn't know. well, i didn't. i wrapped gifts last night and the
night before. ihaven't done this in two years. nor shop except
for my spouse and then i would ask a friend to wrap them for
me./ i'm still not back at work yet. another doctors appt. on
monday. then i don't know what i'll do. motivation to get out
is still slack. i have made all of my appointments this week
and plan to next week. i still haven't made it to aa. i think i
need someone to pick me up. lately if i had to be somewhere
at a certain time or meeting others i've made it but if it's not a
commintment i don't focus on going. i rarely shop or get out.
i'm just rambling looking for an answer and maybe hoping i
type it myself. i wish i was back to my functioning self. it has
been three weeks and five days since i worked. 24 hours since
i had a drink. week-ends i usually get frustrated and drink. i
usually wait a litlle before midnight and then head out. in our
state they don't sell alcohol after midnight sat until mon at 7
sorry to ramble