I'm an alcoholic , my name is Barry & I'm greatfull to be here with people who understand me. As the Holiday of Thanksgiving passes and we head on to the other holidays and the rest of the year- let's not forget that every day is "Turkey Day". There is not a day that goes by that we don"t have many things to be greatfull for. My sponsor, his sponsor, and his sponsor's -sponsors have always told me that a "Greatfull Alcoholic" doesn't have to pick up a drink. Happy Holidays !!
Nicely put, Barry -- how about sharing on the current meeting too?
My name is Claire and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for your comments Barry. (It seems we Cape Codders are communicating with the world) Gratitude is the single best tool in my recovery tool chest. It is of enormous help during the holidays as it brings my fears and expectations into balance. I have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season, not the least of which is my sobriety and the support of my AA friends. Have great holidays, everyone!
My name is George and I am an alcoholic. I simply want to say that Gratitude does go a long way. Have a Happy, Sober and Safe Holliday.
MY name is Rich F. A greatful recovering alcoholic. Without this program and an attitude of gratitude, I wouldn't be here, let alone in an online meeting. I have a few 24 hrs. behind me . But this is my first online meeting.
Hi, My name is Pat L. and Im an alcoholic and exdruggy.
The Gobble Gobble is over.Im grateful for the fine food. Most of all that Im sober. Im still new to this stuff,sobriety that is. I seem to have made it through the 1st part of the holidays, 24hrs at a time. I still have a birthday and wedding aniversary (same day) then Christmas. From what I know, just worry about today and let tomarrow take care of its self. someone told me that. I will be going out of town next weekend for family reunion. We used to all get drunk together stay up all night raising hell. Now everyone is in AA. They will have to show me how to have a good time without the alcohol. I will be going to different meetings with strangers that kinda sounds fun, breaks up the routine that I often get stuck in. Thats another thing I am grateful for.My entire family has more sobriety than I do, this is great, they can instruct me what Im doing wrong. Im grateful for a family of alcoholics.Im grateful for my new created family I found through AA. Im grateful for Lorraine,she has helped me through the hardest and 1st few days of sobriety. Im grateful for the kind words of Anna.
Most of all,God,without God there would be nothing. And my wife who is tolerating this new Pat in her life. She is getting a new man, ha ha. She is a little bit shocked I think at this but..Im sober. I listened to the words 24hrs at a time. I laughed but gave it a chance, though at times it was 30 seconds at a time. I learned to call another alky. Or come here and Yak-it-up for those 30 seconds, and to my amazement, SLOWLY, I started getting a feeling of calmness. Scared me at first, thought Im enroute to heaven, hell, Im dead. I realized this is what all my other alky friends are talkin about this serenity. It is truly better than the best high I have ever had. I have gratitude for the rush of serenity through sobriety. Im babbling again, I love this place,Keep coming back it does work. Its all about alky's talkin to alky's, good,bad or otherwise. write me if ya want. DIRTYFERTY@HOTMAIL.COM
Well Pat, you know I'm proud of you! Keep on doing it one second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. You should be so very proud of yourself because staying sober ain't easy and you are putting a wonderful effort into your program. Keep on believing in your Higher Power, keep going to meetings, keep talking to your sponsor, keep communicating here, keep on loving Pat.
We are both new to the program but we both know already that listening to the oldtimers and doing what we are told even if it hurts a little is what is going to keep us sober.
Keep sharing Pat, if nobody has told you yet, that is a form of AA Service. By sharing you are not only helping yourself, you are helping others too! Thank you.
To you Pat and to everyone else on this conference... many more 24 hours to you.
LorraineS - Ontario Canada
Hi, myname is Rich F. from Peru, IN. I can relate to being new in sobriety, because I was too at one time. I know that for me, I used to get a little discouraged when i would here the lenght of time some had in the program. But you know if you don't focus on it, it will go by pretty quick. It seems like just yesterday I went to my very first, live AA meeting. By the Grace of GOD, it is actually well over 7 years now. So keep the faith, if I can, you can. God bless all of you, new comers and old timers alike.
Hi, I'm Diane. When I was new in AA, the word I lated to hear the most was "time". They said it meant "things I must earn". Well, after coming around for a while, I now understand what it means. I drank for many years and I couldn't expect the people close to me to trust and respect me just because I put down the drink. Today, I realize that it's by power of example, staying sober one day at a time that is earning me the trust and respect from those I love. It has been through the 12 Steps of recovery that I have been able to live life on life terms. I am so grateful to my Higher Power, AA and the people in it. I would not have been able to stay sober for one day on my own. A grateful heart will not drink. I keep a gratitude list and if I find it too difficult to think of what I'm grateful for, I write it down in black in white. I need to keep an attitude of gratitude. For the newcomcers, it will get One Day at a Time. Thanks everyone for sharing.
i'm carol and i'm an alcoholic, i'm not real good at anything right now. in the last three weeks i drank four or five times. i'm depressed and i feel like i'm not going to make it. i haven't been to work in three weeks. i went to go to a rehab and no one will take me because i've used my outpatient visits up in therapy. i tried to borrow money from my ira but its not so easy. i'm looking for help everywhere but i can't find it. i made it out of the house for turkey day and thought i was ok but yesterday i went from a great high to a tremedous low.i can't get out of my pj's - my husband is getting aggravated with me, friends just don't have any suggestions left, my therapist doesnt seem to help. (i'm thinking about calling her). there just isn't a place to go around here. places in greenville are making money - i want help. i've never experiened anything like this - this bad. i went to treatment in june but made only 73 days. i can't get out of the house to go to aa. the only place i go is to one class because i can't give it up now with five classes left. i just don't know what to do and i'm afraid of what i might do. i'm in s.c. any suggestions?
This is my first time in an online meeting. I've been sober for almost eight years and some of it has been great and some of it has been horrible. All we have is today, it's a daily reprieve. I've suffered from depressiom like Carol and I know that the more I stop doing what I'm supposed to be doing, meetings, praying, talking with people, the worse it gets. Move a muscle, change a thought. I know that God will help us if we ask and are sincere. I was really hurting this summer and wanted nothing more than to drink but I asked for help and I got it. keep coming and keep sharing. Sober, I have hope. Drunk, I am hopeless.
Time to "Pass the Hat" That means to visit "Pas the Hat portion of this cyber web site.
If your anything like me, you wil be as tight as the bark on a tree!
This meeting needs donations to operate. Thanks for listening. And now, back to the meeting:
To Carol form S.C. After my last drunk I wanted to die. I was back in prison, and feared that no one would ever talk to me again .I sunk to an extremely low point of depression and dispair. Then I remembered that someone that I had met in A.A. had told me to call him to let him know how " I was". I called and told him how I felt. He told me to ask for help with my problem from some power greater than myself; in other words to get on my knees and pray. I didn't believe that it would work, but did it for lack of anything better ot do. It was difficult at best and I had tremendous fear because I was in a room with 40 or so other guys. I did it anyway- my depression,desire to drink, self loathing, etc. began to go away. This person had also told me to be greatful for that which I did still have. I used a piece of paper , a pencil and wrote down the things to be greatful for so that I could see tangable results. Almost 10 years later ( one day & sometimes one minute at a time) I now say--Hi ! I'm an alcoholic, my name is Barry, and "I'm greatful to be here sober with people who understand me"- you're not alone !
carol again i've made it until now and i think i'm going to buy some beer. therapist called and i really didn't know what to say nor did i hear anything that helped. i would get on my knees but i'd like to know what my higher power was or is my therapist talked to my husband and recommened impatient. can't someone just help me get motivated? i am so afraid that all i want to do is drink so that it'll go away for a little while. helppppppppppppp
hi everyone this kay from canada and i to am a very grateful alcholic and i know i would not be where i am today if it were not for the program and the good people i havemet. there is alot of love and understanding in these room. i'm just happy to be free and sober one day at a time. nice to hear from you all.happy 24 to you all. nite nite,kay
Hi family. I'm Neal And i'm an alcoholic. I'm just writing to expess my thanks for this program that ,in a seemingly short time, given me hope. I am grateful today that i have a choice and it is because of AA. My life might not be much better than when i first quit drinking but now i have hope and that in itself is a GREAT freedom to me. thats all ive got. Happy Holidays!
hi I'm Lynne an alcolholic in calif. this is for Carol, we have all been where you are, you should pick up a phone, and talk to another alcoholic! It works believe me, I have had alot of scary days and nights, its no fun kind of scary, you have the tools now you need to use them, you are on the right track, reaching out to other alcoholics,now talk to someone, we have all been where you are at one time or the other,you can do it you can make it,dont give up before the miracle happens, we are all self willed, thats how we got in this mess in the first place, use his will not yours, sometimes we want everything to happen right here, right now but thats our will not his, I forget and and want things my way right now, but if I sit back and turn it over its amazing how much better things are ,Carol dont give up, it works if you work it ,lots of love lynne.
Raincloud here, and I'm still an alcoholic.
carol in sc - Your Higher Power is a power greater than yourself outside of yourself. You can use whatever your conception of God is - Good Orderly Direction, Guardian of Drunks, etc. The only thing you need to know about God is that you're not it. If you don't have a copy of _Alcoholics Anonymous_, also known as the Big Book, you can find one at http://www.twisted-serpent.com under literature. Read Chapter 4 - "We Agnostics."
Just start praying.
(To those new to sobriety - there is an online book at the above link called _Living Sober_ which has some methods AA members have used for not drinking.)
Have you tried talking to a counselor at your school? If your husband and therapist figure out a way to get you into an inpatient program, are you going to be willing to enter it after you finish this class?
As for your depression, if you are drinking it will make any antidepressant you may be taking ineffective. Alcohol can cause depression. Alcohol is a depressant. Generally speaking, a rehab center will wait to see if the depression lifts on its own. Many folks experience what is called a Pink Cloud when they get sober. If the depression doesn't lift, the doctor may then prescribe an antidepressant.
Alcohol may allow you to temporarily not feel your emotions, but it is just temporary. It seems the longer we put off feeling our feelings the stronger those emotions will be. What you can feel you can heal, though.
Sounds to me like you have a great therapist and husband. More husbands divorce their alcoholic wives than wives divorce their alcoholic husbands.
As for motivation, lots of folks post here about how much better their lives are now that they're sober. This is from Chapter 6 of the Big Book, pages 83-84, and is called the 12 Promises:
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagent promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. (end of quote)
Keep coming back -- it works IF YOU WORK IT!
Hi Pat, I'm proud of you too! Keep coming back and hanging in there.
Neal, I like the way you addressed us "family" that is exactly how I feel. This is my new family and I know that I can always feel peace and serenity with all of you.
Diane I can really relate to that time thing. When I came in no one trusted me Children and Youth Services, the courts, my family, even the people in AA, but I hung in there and miracles started to happen and I began to trust myself and was SLOWLY trusted by others. That's kind of what's happening now with my daughters father. He wants to see her after 2 years, but I know he's out there and I can't trust him any more than I trusted myself in the beginning. It hurts because I am SO SO SO POWERLESS. This is great practice for me to do 3rd step stuff and believe that God is in charge here and looking back at everything I have been through in the past I will get through this with my trust and faith in God. I need to talk about it sometimes so thank you all for being here and listening. I can pray for my Ex and pray for myself and my new family and the rest is out of my hands!
For Carol in SC.
You are describing me before I went to treatment. I have been sober a few 24 now, but when I am in a bad place, I can not be alone. I have to buddy up. The disease is always more powerful than one and never more more powerful than two. I had to stay in a halfway house and then a 3/4 house to get the foundation I needed. I also prayed my ass off.
My name is Glen & I'm an alcoholic.
to Carol in SC:
Carol - you say that you can get up and go to class because you can't give it up. When you want to not drink as bad as you want to go to that class, you'll be able to make it to an AA meeting. Go after class !
Hi, this is Diane and I'm grateful to be be alive today. Carol in SC, you've made the first step in reaching out to people. Now, you must put the suggestions you have gotten here into action. If you really have a desire to stop drinking, you need to be willing to go to any lengths for your sobriety. Go to meetings, talk to other alcoholics and perhaps seek more professional help for your depression. As far as praying to a Higher Power, if you don't have one you can use whatever you wish. as long as it is not you. There is a Higher Power out there in the universe and it's a positive power. I believe that my disease is the negative power which can be very strong. AA has given me the tools to fight this disease on a daily basis. It has worked for over 10 years now and it can work for you. Give yourself a break and give it a chance.
HI EVERYONE OUT THERE .GREAT DAY HERE IN ALBERTA CAANAD. MY NAME IS STILL KAY AND I`M STILL AN ALCHHOLIC. GREAT MESSAGE RAINCLOUD.KEEP IT COMING.
Hi, my name is Joy and I am an alcoholic. This is my first time on an online meeting. I have browsed around looking for something like this, so.... here I am. I have been sober for over 10 years and the last couple of years I have found it kind of difficult to get into the steps. I attend meetings weekly but I don't have a sponsor and I am long overdue for a step 4 and 5. I am not complaining but I know that half measures are not where it's at. My life is very stressful at the moment, I have been sick with a cold and flu for the past 6 days and I've missed 4 days of work. Unfortunately I feel so guilty about missing work I'm afraid I'm not allowing myself to get better. Anyway, I am so glad I'm sober. I am signing off now but will check in again tomorrow in the morning. Wishing you all another 24 hours and especially praying that things are better for you Carol.
Oops! I left out the first line of the 12 Promises: If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amzed before we are half way through.
Y'all are in my prayers. I've been having special prayers for the alcoholic who suffers, whether drinking or sober.
Hi everyone My name is Artie and I am an Alcoholic. I have been to only 1 meeting last sunday and I have been sober for 12 days now. I am finding it very hard though now that the holidays are coming I will attend another meeting this weekend. Until then what should I do.
Hi, Artie. I am family too, sober a few more 24 than you. This is a good wy of maintaining contact with recovery. The phone is another. Get a temporary sponsor ASAP. All of these have worked for me and kept me sober in a relationship for 13 years now. Talking to your higher power is also a necessity.
Hi, I'm Bob, an alcholic, whose been through treatment twice. I'm sitting here drinking again and realizing that A.A. is my only hope. I know that the only way that I can control this disease is to rely on A.A. My friends are all in A.A., but of late I have avoided them. I don't want them to know I'm in trouble and starting to drink again. Many have said that A.A. is a program of honesty. That I believe but I'm not being honest to myself, my spouse, my sponsor or to A.A. Getting that honesty is critical for my sobriety. I'm still wondering how!!!
Hi! John - alcoholic. I just got off the phone with one of my sponsees. After 7 months of continuous sobriety, he went out last night. So you see Carol and Bob, you're not alone in your battle with this cunning and baffling disease. All we can do is come to the realization that we are powerless over alcohol. And we have to feel it in our hearts with no holding back. Only after we come to this point in our lives can we begin to live a new life of sobriety. Be patient! Be willing! Pray to a higher power! and stay close to the program. Good luck and my prayers are with you and all of the alcoholics out there struggling with this disease.
carol again, i hate to keep bothering everyone but i feel a little better. i've been given another option. i'm checking into it now. i still haven't worked nor made it to a meeting. after class would be the perfect time to go to aa since i'm sober but my class doesn't end until nine that's a tad bit to late. i've talked to a man i've known in aa and he tells me i just have to make the decision mysellf. that's fine but i've never been so unacountable nor unresponsible. i sometimes feel like things can be to easy and give me a reason to keep drinking. (the fmla act, the disabitlities act, etc) i've never in my life been so lost. i've always managed to drink seven nights and be at work on time -- now i can't even make it. i feel like it was my coping point. now i don't have that so i seem to be letting more and more go every day. i also feel like i have a million people suggesting a million different things to do. as for the comment about "many men divorec alcoholic women - more than women divorce men" that has nothing to do with anything. i have already more than i can chew i don't need that - my husband might be different but that's why i married him -- for the awesome man that he is, the caring man that he is, the compassionate man that he is -- i wouldn't have it any other way. i might be lucky but that's an issue i don't need to deal with.
Hello, This is Pat L, Im an alcoholic and exdruggy
Thanks Cherise D. Im almost 30 days, already experiencing good days and better days. Lorraine has been a tremendous help. Monday after a meeting our dog got loose and I had to wrestle him back to the yard. In doing so I messed up my neck. The pain is unbearable. That afternoon I went to the doctor and have gone twice a day since. One of the things I have heard is becareful of other drugs, they could change your thinkin and you might slip. Also not to get too tired. WELL, I havent slept more than 2 hours since Monday and it is Thursday now. The only medicine Im takin is tylenol. There just isnt a position I can get in to make the pain go away, cant sleep. Tonight I was determined to get some rest.From 6pm until now 5:27am I have taken 10 tylenol and it hasnt phased the pain. I tried reading the big book, cant focus. Then the t.v. Asked my higher power to take the pain away if it is in his will.For now Im just trying to keep the faith. If I knew where to get the hard stuff, not booze,but morphine or something like that, I would probably take it. Not to worry, I dont have those connections. Im sheduled to leave town tomarrow, I can only pray that the pain is better by then. Its a long drive to a family reunion. My family are all in AA,with much more sobriety than me. WEIRD, in the time it took to type this Im feeling slightly better.(dont stop now lord, its just getting good). To anyone new, say your prayer to help you in the morning, and say thank you at night. Go to a meeting as often as possible.So far thats about all Im doing and it is working. While changing to this sober lifestyle, remember to keep it simply. If it aint simple, change your thinkin! Talk to other alkies, no matter how many times you have heard it before,one of us is gonna say it alittle different and its gonna stick in your mind, and it will work for ya. God bless everyone here and all the alkies that want to be here and cant. God push those folks to get to more meetings during this holiday season to help them not slip. KEEP COMIN BACK, IT WORKS IF YA WORK IT! feel free to email me DIRTYFERTY@HOTMAIL.COM
Good morning all my name is Artie and i have been sober now fo4r 12 days I attened a meeting for the first time last Sunday. I have been pretty good so far. Bur right now I really want a drink! I can't handle all thr pressures going on in my life! I don't know what to do?
My name is Glen and I'm an alcoholic.
My sponsor told me early on to ask God each morning to help me to not drink for that day; at the end of the day to thank Him for his help; and in between, go to a meeting, read the big book, and talk to another alcoholic. These are the things to do if you desire to stop drinking. Carol, your friend is correct - when the pain becomes great enough you will make a decision. But remember, the decision is NOT not to drink. The book tells us that we have lost the power of choice so far as alcohol is concerned; our choice is to seek a power greater than ourselves and to seek sobriety.
I'm Barbara, and I'm an alcohlic.
It's really wonderful to see new people here, using this new way of carrying the AA message. Pat L., I'm always so glad to read one of your posts - you show me once again that AA works!
Artie, I can tell you what I did: I went to 2 meetings a day for my first two years in AA. I began to listen to people tell me how they stayed sober, and to take their suggestions for staying sober. I learned how not to drink, one day at a time.
Good luck! Get a meeting book for your area, and go to a LOT of meetings. It WILL get better.
Hi Debra here, for me its been 25 days. I am scared with the upcoming holidays, everyone making plans for partying and drinking. I've been praying every morning and night and am grateful to be sober. But there is always a but, life hasen't been good for a long time and I am still struggling with this new life. Help!
Tom L. - You may want to read "The AA Member - Medications and Other Drugs" under literature at the URL I gave earlier. Too much Tylenol can hurt your liver. Maybe your doctor can suggest some non chemical help like positions to sleep in, heat applications, massage, etc. There are non narcotic pain meds such as anti-inflammatory drugs and steriods.
Some folks say HALT, others says HALTS. This stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired or sick. These are things we need to take care of right away lest they lead to relapse.
Marianne S. - "Move a muscle, change a thought." I *love* that! Behavioral/cognitive therapy in a nutshell!
Carol in SC - Your "luck" comes from your Higher Power. I was suggesting something for your gratitude list - your great husband. Haven't you noticed how we talk about gratitude in AA rather than sit on our pity potties? I thought your depression might have blinded you to things you have to be grateful for. Besides, you need a reason to live past your class. You did say "i'm depressed and i feel like i'm not going to make it. . . . i'm afraid of what i might do. any suggestions?"
Everyone generally - I realize that you mean well, but Carol may very well suffer from depression that is not caused by her drinking. Bill Wilson suffered from depression. Sometimes this is called dual diagnosis, although that can mean other things. Another term is MICAA - Mentally Ill Chemical Abusers and Addicted. Same term for alcohol. Anyway, treatment programs designed for people whose problems are primarily substance abuse are generally not recommended for people who also have a severe mental illness (schizophrenia or a mood disorder). These programs tend to be confrontive and coercive and most people with severe mental illnesses are too fragile to benefit from them. Heavy confrontation, intense emotional jolting, and discouragement of the use of medications tend to be determental. These treatments may produce levels of stress that exacerbate symptoms or cause relapse. It's better for a mental health patient to remain stable than ever "hit bottom." So a mental health patient may enter treatment way before they'd get to the point of putting their sobriety before everything else.
So I've got 2 types of relapse to guard against.
Hugs to all.
A thought for the holiday season -- tou don't HAVE to go visit drinking family; you can stick with your AA family instead.
Hi, my name is Anne Marie and I am an alcoholic. This is the first time I have been online with my AA family. Very neat! I appreciate everyone's honesty and willingness to share. I have been sober 19 months and my life has changed tremendously. I'm expecting a baby in February and I thank God everyday for giving me the opportunity to be a sober mom. However, with the holidays and work and planning for the baby, I've been a bit lax with my meetings. This will be a great tool to stay in touch and hear lots of positive discussion. But, I guess for newcomers especially, it should be emphasized that this forum cannot replace a "live" meeting (not that anyone so far has suggested that it does). Thanks all for being there. I wouldn't be sober without the fellowship.
Carol: My heart and prayers go out to you, I've been there too. Any updates on how you're doing?
Hey, if anyone is interested, I have concocted a sort of concordance to the first 164 pages of the Big Book in MS Word 97 format. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to "detach" it from the text file of those pages, since I made it using index entries in the program. I'd be happy to share it.
Hi everyone, my name is Rich F. from Peru, In. I've been away from this forum for a few days. Goofy work schedule. One of the things i learned early on in sobriety, was that when i was active in my drinking, I could always find the time to drink. Not having the time for a meeting, in my mind is just an excuse. Some will say that I'm being harsh, but to me it is the truth. If you want something bad enough you'll go to any length to get it. If that means finding a meeting at 9 or 10 P.M. then that is what's needed. I could always find a drink anytime I wanted . What makes finding a meeting any different? New to sobriety? One metting in a week ain't gonna cut it. You ask what to do. Simple get to a meeting, share your misery with other AA's. Together with them your load will be much lighter. Ask anybody with any length of time in the program, and they will tell you, they will suggest to you, that meetings and sharing are the only way. This program is one of suggestions. you can take them or leave them. If you decide to skydive it is suggested that you have a working parachute. That is a suggestion that should be heeded, as are the suggestions of this program. I'll keep all of you in my prayers. Thanks for letting me vent.
Tom, Please email firstname.lastname@example.org with more details about the Bigbook, as we are looking into adding the Bigbook to the site and what you have done may be helpful.
I'm so happy to see and hear all this wisdom I need good medicine for peace of mind, I don't get to as many meetings I do have them on the phone with my sponsor and one or two other recovering alcoholics that are sober and are serious about that. I don't go around people or places where there is booze willingly but my sponsor always tells me that I have to plan my exit. before I go have a door to leave. that has stuck with me. God Bless! Happy 24hrs. If anyone would like to write: RTom@cbd.net
I'M CAROL AND YES I'M STILL AROUND.FOUND AN AVENUE BUT IT HAS BEEN SLOWED DOWN. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I STILL HAVENT' BEEN TO WORK. I DO HAVE A LOT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR - MY HUSBAND, MY DOG, MY JOB AND BENEFITS, FRIENDS, ETC. BUT I SEE MYSELF LOSING IT ALL. I'VE ALWAYS MANAGED THINGS BUT I CAN'T NOW. I WANT TO GO TO TREATMENT ONE DAY AND I DON'T THE NEXT.I'VE BEEN TO SO MANY PLACES READY TO CHECK IN (BAGS PACKED) ONLY TO BE TOLD MY INSURANCE WOULDN'T LET ME GO. I JUST DON'T GET MY HOPES UP ANY MORE. TODAY I CALLED TO BORROW MONEY - A RELATIVE - I NEVER HAD TO DO THIS BEFORE AND AM NOT SURE IF IT'S JUST LETTING ME FORE LONG MY MOOD. I HEAR SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS TO DO THAT I AM CONFUSED. I KNOW THE MAIN THING IS NOT TO DRINK BUT I FEEL LIKE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE A REASON TO BE DEPRESSED OR A SCREW UP. I JUST DON'T KNOW
Hi All! Tina J., alcoholic on Guam, here! I had an amusing situation happen to me last week that only another alcoholic can appreciate - I was at the dentist (never a pleasant thing to do) and he was having his usual trouble getting me "numb enough". Seems like he has to numb me about 4 times during the course of whatever procedure he's doing. Anyway, after "sticking" me for the 4th time, he looked me square in the eye and said "You know, you metabolize the anesthesia very quickly...usually alcohol is the cause of that - are you a heavy drinker?"
I couldn't really laugh, since I had my mouth full of dentist's fingers and paraphenalia, but managed to let him know through sign language that I was a "zero" drinker. After he removed everything from my mouth I was able to tell him that I didn't use ***any*** kind of substance (except caffeine). I was thoroughly amused....he thought I was thoroughly nuts.....who cares?
My thoughts are with you Carol.
Happy Holidays from the tropics, Tina J.
I'M CAROL AGAIN, PEOPLE DON'T COME HERE OFTEN. IT'S NOT LIKE A CHAT LINE. I CAN TALK AND NO ONE RESPONDS. HEY, BUT THAT'S THE WAY MY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE. THREE MORE CLASSES AND THEN I CAN GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO BUT WON'T DO IT. I'M CONFUSED. I'M HURTING SO BAD I'M NUMB. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING. HELL, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. EVERYONE IS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO AND I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY OF IT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME. WHY CAN'T I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN HAS CHANGED IS THAT I DON'T SLAM BEER. I USE TO DRINK AS FAST AS I COULD BUT NOW I JUST DRINK. AM I MAKING EXCUSES OR WHAT? DAMN, I'M CONFUSED. I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO MAKE IT MUCH LONGER. I DON'T FEEL LIKE DRINKIGN BUT IT'S THE ONLY THING I CAN DO. I HAVE NO MOTIVATION AND I'M FADING FAST. GOD, HELP ME.
I SUPPOSE NO ONE IS HERE. I'M PRETTY WELL LIT. PLEASE HELP ME. I HAVE THERAPY TOMORROW IF I CAN GET UP IN TIME. I WISH I COULD COMMIT TO SOMTHING BUT I'M JUST LETTING IT ALL GO. IT'S ANOTHER DAY - I'LL SLEEP. I'M VERY TIRED BUT I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER TO TALK TO SOMEONE. MY HUSBAND BROKE HIS FINGER TODAY AND I CAN'T EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO BECOME UNSELFCENTERED TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME WITH HIM.GO WHAT HAS HAPPEND TO ME. I USE TO BE A LITTLE USEFUL. I'M BECOMING EVRYTHING I SAID I WOULDN'T - WHO AM I AND HOW DO I GET OFF MY ASS TO SAVE MY WORLD?
RAINCLOUD RAINCLOUD RAINCLOUD
Our founding members went to great lengths to avoid controversy. They went into great detail on this matter. They defined controversy as alcohol reform, politics, and sectarian religion. AA is not all about what religion you are, political bent, race, age, sex, height, whither thou ownest a home, boat, spouse or a goat. What matters is: Am I an alcoholic?
I've read a few of your entries of late that seem to have no
roots in the AA program that I know. Like this HALT
Hungry-Physical problem, Angry-Mental problem
To me, that sounds pretty controversial.
So, my friend, where is the Spiritual in any of that? None that I can see. No solution, just problematic diatribe. No right action, just phsyco/dribble.
I believe this format is a wonderful way for folks, (
Especially, those of us who are remotely located from a live
meeting ) to share. But to 'share' what? What IS this precious
thing that we have in common?
Moreover, I believe, that the 'PROGRAM' of AA is one of
continuous spiritual action. If I always practice right action, I
don't ever have to worry about relapse. It doesn't exist. That
problem is removed from me, not by anything I've done, but by a
Power Greater than me. I found it so, thus far, that as long as I
"continue to practice these spiritual principals as a daily
means of living", I don't 'HAVE TO' pick up the first one
TODAY! Thanks, God!!! Thanks AA! And, Thanks, YOU people!
Raincloud, I wish you and yours well and mean no harm on you. I only humbly request that you not try to associate everything in the world with the program of AA. This one has worked, just fine for most of us 'real alcoholics' for over 60 years. "If it AIN'T broke, DON'T fix it!!"
Raincloud: You seem very well read on AA and other issues dealing with mental health. I guess I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say above though. I agree with most of what you say, but I do believe that HALT is a very good rule to remember. I know for myself when I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired, everything seems much more difficult to handle, and I am less capable of doing the next right thing. For instance, I was not very grateful over Thanksgiving, I was way too tired, not taking care of myself. I got in a real funk. All I really needed was some good sleep and to vent a bit about how much work I had put in to make Thanksgiving nice. What do you think?
Carol: We are here and we are concerned. It may seem like you are the only one who feels the way you do right now, but, believe me, we have all felt the way you do at one point or another. Or, at least I know I have. And, I never thought things would change. But, I made the decision to do whatever was necessary to try to change things, which began with the willingness to listen to those in AA. If you do suffer from a medical condition, depression, it may not be that easy. You would have to seek the help of a professional. Raincloud discussed that above. Don't give up though. You are useful and valuable, and we will be here for you, and at the meetings. If you can, try to get to one ASAP and talk to people. Please respond.
I'M BACK. EVERYONE MUST HAVE A LIFE EXCEPT ME. I DIDN'T GO TO MY THERAPIST THIS AFTERNOON BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE LEAVING THE HOUSE. I'VE BEEN ON THE PC SINCE I WOKE UP JUST GAME AFTER GAME AFTER GAME WHAT AM I DOING?
my name is aaron w. my sobriety date is 6/27/92. I am so glad to be sober today, this is beyound my wildest dream. i can't believe we have come so far as to hold a meeting on the internet. i did not make a meeting today but it's ok because i heard so many good things on staying cyber today. this is my first time using the net to talk to another alcoholic, this is cool. I am in the process of finding another sponser i feel that i need a sponser that attend meetings. if anyone have any sugestions please feel free to shoot. and if there's a person willing to sponser me please let me know.
hi carol in s.c. hang in there we're all here for you . my name is kay and i'm from alberta' canada. my thought's and prayers are with you. towmorrow you will make a promise to yourself and not take the first drink no matter what, then you will be on your way to sobriety. good luck from all of us in canada.