Member: DEE
Location: TX
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 21:14:33

Comments

Congratulation COFFEPOT:

Experience with Staying Cyber has been bittersweet as I've met some very good people on here and well as some ?? but overall I am grateful for those who I have come to know and love through them sharing with me experience, strength & hope.

Through this site I have seen a variety of folks come and go, some sadness and so blessed events. This site is really something awesome. THANKS TO THE TECHS!


Member: Mary H
Location: NH
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 21:28:11

Comments

Happy Anniversary!!!!

I was having a difficult day at work today and I asked God for help and I remembered the post from Bill J. I thought of him pushing his wife down the hallway of the cancer ward. Suddenly, what was bothering me seemed so small and petty compared to Bill's experience. It really helped me get back on the beam.

I wouldn't have been able to have that experience without the coffee pot.

I've enjoyed meeting people from all around the country and the world. We are connected by our common thread, alcoholism.

I have not enjoyed the bickering and back and forth. It is disruptive to the spirit. This place is a window into the fellowship. Many people see it. It would be wrong for someone to be afraid of going to a face to face meeting becuase of the mean spirited antics taking place at this site. I love the positive shares, the daily struggles, the pleasantries of boring life, jokes, annecdotes and the painful struggles some of us are going through. It is our fellowship.

Thank you


Member: DEE
Location:
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 21:40:40

Comments

STAYING CYBER is two years old. a site where folks share - some very bold.

A place to come at the end of a long day. to see what everyone has had to say.

There is flaming, stabbing & jibes. Some folks just continue to emit bad vibes.

Overall we all have come a long way. In reaching out to others almost every day.

Tough love, sadness, death and birth of a baby The experiences of each is so real - no maybe.

******************** We all are reaching.

Some are seeking.

Some just peeking.

Teardrops leaking.

Some still drinking.

*************

There are good days and bad. Some are happy some are sad. Some face hardship and pain. Some try hard to just maintain.

*************


Member: Kerry B.   3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 21:50:59

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic.

Thank you Staying Cyber!

I think it was back in late 1997 when I first found this site. What a relief it was to find the Fellowship online.

I say "relief" because it had been literally years since I had the oportunity to share any of my experience, strenth and hope - or had the priviledge of hearing everyone elses. Much too long of a story to tell - suffice it to say that I have "met" quite a few dear good friends here, and I am more connected today than I had been for a long time.

This is all over the world - it is awesome!!


Member: Steve F.
Location: Wenham, MA, USA
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:00:18

Comments

Hi, my name is Steve, and I'm an alcoholic.

First, I would like to thank the techs for maintaining this site. I know it takes a lot of hard work. I'm grateful that they have been here for all of us.

I would also like to thank the techs for giving all of us this opportunity to talk about the Coffee Pot.

I'm new to AA - just over 90 days. I found this site just a few days into my sobriety. Even though I was going to 4 or 5 meetings a week, I found I wanted to visit here every day. There were a lot of jokes, a lot of nice people, and a lot of good shares. I have made 2 or 3 cyber friends at this site, friends with whom I chat on ICQ or exchange e-mail.

After awhile, at least to me, the Pot starting showing it's "dark" side. It was not the profanity that bothered me - it was the cruelty and meanness of spirit. And it was not just one or two people. At times, it seemed like several people were going at it all at once. It didn't just offend my sensibilities. It scared me. I was especially bothered by the way some newcomers were treated. For many (if not most) alcoholics, not drinking vs. drinking is truly a life or death choice. At times, I feared for my sobriety and stayed away from the Pot.

I know that the Coffee Pot section of this site is not meant to be a meeting, but in my brief experience in AA, when a group of recover(ing/ed) alcoholics gets together outside of a meeting, whether it's for coffee, dinner or a sober dance, or just to shoot the breeze in the parking lot after a meeting, we still try to help and support each other. We don't start fighting with each other and putting each other down just because were not in a "meeting".

I like the Coffee Pot, and I feel secure enough right now to visit here almost every day. I have done my best to stay out of the fights. However, I do not feel that the Coffee Pot (as opposed to the Discussion Group) carries the message of AA very well, especially to the newcomer.

All I can do, I suppose, is to treat everyone at the Coffee Pot the way I would like to be treated.

Thanks again to the techs.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, fl.
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:03:39

Comments

I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. My congradulations to Staying Cyber and two years on line. I have seen some excellant sobriety shaered on here and hope and pray to see more of it in the future. I have seen both joy and sadness but most of all I have seen the love of God working through people. God does love you all and so do I. Sanders


Member: sam s
Location: kansas
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:19:29

Comments

Happy Anniversary Staying Cyber!!!!!!!

I for one, am grateful for finding this site. Thank you techies from the bottom of my heart. I stumbled onto this site back in Oct. 98 at a time in my life when I was not able to make it to many f2f meetings. My serenity was all but gone at that point in my life. I have found so many loving , caring people here that have become truly good friends and family in AA. I have also found unwanted philosophy, advice, attitudes, verbal abuse, sarcasm, hate and discontent. But, AA taught me to take what I can use and leave the rest. Rarely, do I feel the need to confront here, but I do if it's eating my lunch. I hold no resentments towards anyone on this site, no matter what has occurred. This site has also led me to other AA strengthening sites. I will take all I can get to teach me how to live , not only a sober life, but also a serene one. Thanks to each and everyone one of you who do now and have in the past, ventured here. God Bless!!!!!


Member: Jim H
Location:
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:30:47

Comments

I first got "on line" right at the time this site opened. What a joy it was to hear from fellow alcholics recovring one day at a time, just like me. ANd from all over the world! Great job techs! All I can say is keep up the good work.All the new commers to AA, please don't try to use this as your sole suppport group. We are all isolators and staying cyber doesn't take the place of AA meetings, sponsors, reading the big book.This page just elimnates distance and not people! We need to interact with people to recover."When ever two PEOPLE gather to discuss their alcohlism, it is a meeting.. PLease go to meetings! Meeting lists can be otained here, but you are the ones that need to attend! Works for me!


Member: dean k
Location: ne nebraska
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:43:05

Comments

the pot is really black when the aa pretenders,! show their true heart,thinking that cloaking all the old ways behind aa,is fooling any one. their body is simply refusing alcohol every thing else is the same or worse to bad their not drink ing. leaving no doubt in the world, about their mean ways god bless dean


Member: no spell
Location: every wear
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:47:49

Comments

all the coffe pot neades is spell checker


Member: Denise J
Location: Michigan
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 22:56:02

Comments

WOW- Happy Happy Birhtday Staying Cyber!

Many of you know me as Denise- the one with all the jokes- I found this site just a few days into my sobriety.

I have a little over four months now- by the grace of God- and AA!

I was one of those, who found this site from a search engine- under AA. I didn't at the time, believe I was truly an alcoholic. I just felt that I had been dealt a raw deal again, and I'd get through this mess with the courts and be on my merry little way. Many of you encouraged me, and many of you welcomed me- warts and all. I want to say Thank You! It's wonderful to see your name on this blue screen, and see that someone cares enough to take the time to care about you.

I know now, I can not take another drink, because I will get drunk, and will be right back in the same mess I am crawling out of right now.

This site, has been a Godsend to me, because there are alot of people here just like me! When I'm feeling good, I come here, when I'm feeling down I come here. I don't always post, I don't always read all of what has been posted- sometimes I just come here. ( It's kind of like your child who comes in the door after school and yells "MOM", and when you respond they say "Nothing, I just wanted to know if you were here." )

I have gotten to know quite a few pople from this internet site, and others that have sprung up because of this connection- I thank God- for my cyber friends.

Oh, as for the jokes- I post them because I like to laugh, I hate to cry, and because if I post a joke or two- I don't have to say too much about what's going on with me. I save that for those poor souls, who I have snagged icq numbers from! LOL

God Bless Us- One And ALL!!


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 23:00:54

Comments

Deanna here, alcoholic.

I have been coming to the CP since Feb. 28. I remember the exact date because I was talking to my step-mom on the phone when I stumbled on it in a search engine. It was her birthday. 3 days later I was at my first face to face meeting. The first night I was here I thought wow..I can get help here! I can't tell you how grateful for all the people who passed the message on to me and did everything in their power to get me to a f2f meeting. Only by God's grace was I convinced that this is NOT a face 2 face meeting. But, wait! It gets better! There were people here who told me they would love me until I could love myself. And God smiled on me and I was able to do that. But, they didn't stop loving me then, they still do!

I am so grateful for finding Staying Cyber. It opened up a while new world for me. I am learning to take what I need and leave the rest. I've come a long way from where I was. but still have along way to where I'm going. I love each and everyone of you. You help keep me sober. Your 24 hours of sobriety each day villifies my journey. I don't drink now because I don't have to.

{{{TECHS}}} Thanks you so much for bringing this site to all of us drunks.

Following is a Thought for the Day from Hazelden:

Very few of us came into the program filled with joy and serenity. Most of us came as a last resort! We were anxious about the future, about the using behavior of someone close, about our own capabilities, about the decisions we needed to make. Mostly, our focus was negative, perhaps even hopeless.

What a wonderful choice we have made. The program can change our lives, just as it has changed the lives of all the people in the program. We have to put forth some effort, of course, and we have to willingly let a Higher Power take control of our lives and the outcomes of our experiences. The result will be a measure of serenity that is new to us, a serenity quickly treasured.

The Serenity Prayer will help us to maintain our new perspective when we are wavering on what to do in the old, all too familiar situations. Some things we can always change--that's where our effort comes in. Other things are not up to us--that's where God comes in. Listening for God's guidance teaches us the difference.

It's a great day to be sober and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY STAYING CYBER!!

Deanna


Member: Robert B.
Location: Boise  Idaho
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 23:26:48

Comments

Happy Birthday Staying Cyber!

My name is Robert and I am an alcoholic. I found this spot on an AA search sometime last fall, when I was completely internet naive.

The Discussion Meeting and the 12X12 Meeting are excellent, especially for the newcomers. The CP is something else again. I enjoy reading the pot almost daily. People reveal their level of recovery here with amazing, often unintentional clarity. I have met some of the most interesting folks here, from all over the world. I have made a few dear friends here and expect to expand on that in the future.

Techs: Please accept my most sincere thanks for your efforts.

Peace Robert ICQ#31513953


Member: Eric H.
Location: Bayshore club, Fla
Date: 23 May 1999
Time: 23:38:50

Comments

Eric Alkie.

God, thank you for my bridge back to life.

I think I stumbled into here, through a web ring I believe, back in June of '98. What I found then is a lot like I find now. In fact, it reminds me of AA as a whole, with a slight difference. In AA, there are some who really want to have sobriety, and there are some here for other reasons. The difference, to me, is when you are at a meeting in the real world, you can see the people share, and as I have said many a time before, I have never seen another alkie disrespect another recovering person once since coming to AA in '88. In cyberspace, one cannot judge the expressions of another person sharing here. It is equally important to work the principles of AA in this place, as well as be ready to leave what you don't need here as well. As for the people who have come here, I have befriended so many, I have shared my life with those here, and have laughed til I cried, and cried til I could cry no more. Mostly, I have seen recovery grow in most of us here. I know it has for me. The good has always outweighed the bad, but at it's worst, it is scary, as my friend Steve said above. When we shine as an example of AA's principles at work, we light up the world. Here's hoping we have another 'sparkling' year together.

P.S. thnx to the tech's, a very wonderful job.


Member: Duane M.
Location: Upstate N.Y.
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 00:12:24

Comments

Happy B-Day staying cyber and good morning family.My name is Duane and I am a real alcoholic.Yesterday was my birthday.I had found this site last march and then my fiance' and I had broke up and she kept the computer.Today I have my own and was directed by my H.P. to visit again(by AA search).I am so glad for the AA way of life,it just gives me so much hope and rewards.I know I cannot do it alone.It is so great to be able to share what I learn from staying sober with other alcoholics(newcomers and oldtimers).Thank you God for sending this program my way. A short one:A mother was listening to her child recite the Lords prayer when she heard"lead us not into temptation and deliver us some E-Mail.


Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 00:59:35

Comments

Hi all, Jim here, grateful to be sober through the grace of God and AA.

What the coffee pot means to me? First of all, I'd like to thank the founders of this site who put much work into trying to pass on the message of AA. I really appreciate your efforts. You and all the others who sincerely share on this site have helped me more than words can describe.

This site has also tested my good sobriety at times. I try to deal with life on lifes terms daily. When things don't go my way, I sometimes let that affect my spiritual condition, thus affecting the quality of my sobriety. Thats my problem, though.

I feel there are two fronts that I can address to help make this site work better. I can think before I post, considering the feelings of others first. And secondly, I can learn to be more self-effacing. Not reading into negativity, too seriously. After all, Its not all about me -- like I would like to think.

I'm hopeful that I can contribute more responsibily here in the future. I hope everyone here can do the same. We have to learn to put most of our serious differences aside in order to grow individually, as well as collectively as a group.

Principles before personalities, Rule 62, kindness, and treating others like they would like to be treated, could change the spirit of our true intentions. My recovery depends upon practicing these principles in all of my affairs.

I think the techs have sparked a great idea. Get an alcoholic to reflect a little on how grateful they should be has always worked for me. I tend to get a little too comfortable in my sobriety for my own good, and begin to rest on my spiritual laurels. It's easy for me to see the bad in my life, but very difficult to see all the good that surrounds me at times. I must take more time to look for the good in life. Isn't that what it's all about, anyway. help me out here... this is where you guys come in.

I'm am truley grateful to have met you all, and hope to keep in touch.

Yours in the fellowship

Jim R.


Member: Julie B.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 01:07:12

Comments

Thank you, Tony G., (and everyone else here) for caring. Going alone is hard and you guys really make a difference... Tony, I haven't made it to an in-person meeting yet, not sure I'm strong enough for that yet, but I am reading a library copy of the Big Book... Thanks again for caring about me.


Member: Gina
Location: NY
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 01:19:45

Comments

Happy Birthday!!!! I found the site about 3 months ago using a search engine. Although the CP at times is too full of negatives, those who spread the message and not the disease (thank you for that line, Sanders) shine through. Over all, this site has been helpful in my recovery and I feel very close to many of the contributors. Thanks to those who keep the CP perking.


Member: David B          9/8/81
Location: Bimini
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 02:25:38

Comments

Hey all, I'm David B and I'm a wino, amongst other things.

My experiences with Staying Cyber have mostly happened here on the Coffee Pot. Over all I have to consider my time here well spent. True, there have been a number of cyber scuffles during my time here but there has been far more love than venom.

The program suggests we look for the good in every person and situation so that is what I will do here, I remember laughing til I couldn't breathe, identifying with the pain of a fellow member til cried, and felt the power of this program in action as a number of us carried the message of recovery to another new person to the fellowship. The jokes that have flashed across my monitor, hyperlinks that have been shared between us,(especially from our friend Glen), and the regular celebration of benchmarks in sobriety, these are the things I chose to carry with me when I think of the Coffee Pot.

We would ideally be able to have a forum of unconditional love and happiness but life just doesn't work that way. I would like this forum to reflect life as it is on the planet. Some times good, some times not so attractive, other times downright ugly. To censor what shows up here would be a very chancey proposition. I have to thank, Barry, Tim, and Glen especially for helping me to see the wisdom of their ideals on censorship on this or any other internet site. Even though I have called for shutting the CP down on more than one occasion.

The message is carried on this site no matter what else is happening. I was told when I was new that some of the folks around the tables might get drunk as time passed but the time wouldn't come when everybody around the tables got drunk at the same time. It is like that on the CP, just substitute the word angry for drunk and the story fits the CP. Even if a half dozen members are into it, there are always a few cool heads around to take care of the business of the fellowship, telling visitors to view the rest of us, the arguers, as an example of what not to do. LOL.

Happy Birthday Staying Cyber, with this site my sobriety has been enhanced, thanks to the founders, the current steering commitee and all who share this space on the web with us.

I hope I don't have to be this nice again till next year. LOL

David B


Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 04:40:52

Comments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAYING CYBER!!!!

I just had to wish you all a Happy Birthday on the second anniversary of this site. And say Thanks to the techs, who have worked so hard to keep it running. I first took a walk through the archives,and read the coffeepot when the early members were here, and would love to know WHERE ARE THEY NOW?? They are not posting these days on the site, as far as my memory can recall (Though I may well be wrong, I have been known to be on a few occasions LOL)

SO, TIM G - who announced the birth of the first AA cyber baby on 9/20/97 - Zachary Joseph.

BOB T - Then Staying Cyber site treasurer, who went back out, and came back in September 1997 - Hope you made it BOB, you still around here??

CHERISE D - JUDY K - MARK B - GEORGE M - BARBARA S - All of whom, around July 1997, were experiencing technical probs. with the new site, and were trying to decide whether to go Worldwide. Thanks for making the decision, Guys, enabling the site to still be here for me today, even though I took my bat&ball home, not so long ago!!!

I love the Discussion and 12x12 Sites, which I visit 2-3 times a week, though the coffeepot has become a bit too much like a warzone for me to handle right now (MY problem, I know, and I think this is the right way to deal with it for me at the moment) There are wars raging in my personal life right now, so I do not have to subject myself to fights on the coffeepot, unless I really want to. Generally speaking, I have found the site very helpful, as there ARE some members who calmly state their opinions, without retaliation, if someone dares to disagree, but for the time being, I will continue to take what I like and leave the rest, which means the other two site are top of the list for today. As someone has already said, this is NOT an AA meeting, I cannot see the expression on the faces of the bullshitters, Is it 'Tongue in cheek?' Is some of this stuff a failed attempt at comedy?? Are the bullshitters real alcoholics, or are they such unfortunates who need to be here just like the rest of us?? The answer to all of these questions, of course is "I DON'T KNOW" but please newcomers, do not look at the coffeepot, and think 'This is AA' - IT AIN'T. It can quite often be a good source of encouragement, however, (if I can manage to take the bits which can help me today), and whenever I cannot do this, and remain reasonably calm and serene, then I will go away, and come back when I have worked out and dealt with MY problem.

I would love to know whether the early members ARE still around, and how TIM and wife MAY are coping with what must be now the 'Terrible Twos'

Thanks all of you for showing me your example, and have a good, sober 24hrs.

Oh, and thanks to all you guys& gals for the e-mails. I am grateful to have found the friends I have found here.

Goodie@tesco.net


Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 04:44:25

Comments

Geri, a very grateful alcoholic here.

Happy birthday to CP. I found this site when I moved to Va and hadn't found a f2f and was looking for AA in my locale. Stayed even when I found a meeting place. Lucky me!

Thanks to the techie's who take the time and energy to keep the site up and running.

There are some wonderful, special folks who share here. They are truly concerned about the AA message and care about the newcomers. They also try to assist those of us who have a few 24's. Thank you all!

An't it great to be sober?


Member: Jerry M
Location: Painter Va
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 06:55:13

Comments

The coffee pot was one of the first places I found internet sobriety Ithink of it as my extended AA family congratulations and thanks


Member: LORI D
Location: Ottawa Canada
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 07:52:36

Comments

HI MY name is Karma and I just found this site last night I was really having a bad case of the poor me's I live in a small town,and lately there has been alot of alot of conflict between members which makes it very uncofortable for sharing.I stay home alot and do a heck of alot of praying. I have to start going to more meetings because i'm starting to get that I can do this on my own thinking.Anyways sure glad this site is here I would like to share with other people from all over. Thanks for having this site. t


Member: Ian K
Location: U.K.
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 08:33:30

Comments

There is no doubt for me that this site is invaluable. To expect it to be perfect and all flowers and blue skies would just be alcoholic. But thank you, it is always good to read of other alcoholics finding there way in life without a drink, and for good or bad, I can learn from that.

Whether we are "effectively Carrying the Message of Alcoholics Anonymous"? The truth shines through. The scared gather in clusters to keep themselves safe. This meeting, as with AA meetings in the whole, represents "a microcosm of society" in general, a wise man once said. It is fascinating. Yet those that are not carrying THE message OF RECOVERY need to be challenged, and that is good to see on this site. "Easy does it" comments drove me mad for months in AA. THE MESSAGE is that THERE IS A SOLUTION, and it is in the BIG BOOK, and to pass on any other message just wouldn't be AA. The message is of A Vigorous Course of Action, of the Twelve Step Recovery Program and of Change. I didn't need to take it easy when I was in the hole I was in, I needed to work like hell to get out, and to be given the tools to do that.

My only concern of this site can be that people love each other to death too much, when some honest and truly caring inventory taking needs to be done (daily -Step 10). Lets carry on taking out the branches in our own eyes, but also out of others who can't see that the branches are there!


Member: Dee F
Location: TX
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 08:48:50

Comments

LINKS: ******************************************************************** AA SPEAKERS TAPES http://www.elmo.simplenet.com/spktapes.htm *************************** ACCEPTANCE: -- From the AA Big Book, page 449. http://www.inficad.com/~andya/acceptance.html *************************** Alcoholics Anonymous http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/ *************************** Barefoot Bob's Collection of AA Writings http://www.nidlink.com/~bobhard/bftwrite.html *************************** BIG BOOK & CONCORDANCE ONLINE http://www.halcyon.com/carrick/aa/aa-home.html Inludes BIG BOOK for downloading.. OTHER RELATED RECOVERY LINKS WORTH CHECKING OUT. *************************** DAILY REFLECTIONS http://www.anaserve.com/~spencers/calendar/Text/February/Dailyfebruary19.html (shows 7 days at a time) *************************** Dr. Bob's House http://www.drbobs.com/coffee.html *************************** Favorite Links Related to Dr. Bob's http://www.drbobs.com/favorite.html *************************** INTERGROUPONLINE http://aa-intergroup.org/ *************************** PROMISES: http://www.inficad.com/~andya/promises.html *************************** UNOFFICIAL AA HOMEPAGE http://www.halcyon.com/carrick/aa/aa-home.html Has excellent information regarding lots of AA things. ***************************************

DAILY REFLECTIONS

I'M NOT DIFFERENT In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.

AS BILL SEES IT, p.24 I cannot consider myself "different" in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. ************************************************* DAILY THOUGHT FOR TODAAY Do you have an AA buddy with e-mail who might like to get the daily Thought for TodAAy? All he or she has to do is send an email asking to receive a subscription to ForTodAAy@aainsa.org. There is no obligation, the list is kept confi dential, and anyone may cancel at any time. *************************************************

For anyone wishing a copy of this list email: madworld@swbell.net


Member: Corinne B.
Location: CC FL
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 08:53:22

Comments

'Mornin' ((CPers))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere!

Happy 2nd Anniversary StayingCyber!! I stumbled onto the Discussion Mtg & 12&12 Mtg pages in November '98. I took a peek here at the CP and the comradarie and familiarity intrigued me. I was just coming back to AA after being out there for 6 1/2 years, following 6 years of continuous (now I realize "short-lived") sobriety. I'm sure I got addicted right away with being able to post daily, seeing my name in print and getting (((hugs))). Much cheering, some jeering, but most just urging me and others to keep on keeping on. And so I stayed. And so I left. And so I came back.

Changes. Time. Events. Life. God. You. Me. Us.

I'm grateful to know that when time & health permit, I can come here, show up & share (without having to suit up LOL!!!), especially when time & health do not permit me to get to an f2f mtg. So many have said what is in my heart above, to which I'll add my "ditto."

One of he most wonderful & incredible things that happened by my coming here, was the support I received during my cross-country trip, especially from Bill J, Sanders & Karen B. I actually got to meet Sanders f2f - he drove all the way out to the Interstate just to track me down at one of 5 gas stations at that "Exit," never knowing that I had been drinking again for about 2 weeks. But I came back and made a fresh start on April 8th, and you all loved me anyway. Thank you, fellow CPers, thank you, Techs. And thank you, God. Corinne B.


Member: Camo
Location: deep South
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 08:54:01

Comments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAYING CYBER !!!

This site is not by any means a f2f meeting but I am grateful that it is here. On more than one occasion I have been without transportation to a meeting and way out in the sticks to boot. Other times I have gotten squirrely in the wee hours of the morning. Times like that I have been happy to find the folks sharing here so I could keep in touch with the program and other people in it and by doing so stay sober one more day. It has also kept my sponsor from getting several 3AM phone calls that I would have needed to make otherwise. Whether or not I would have made the call when I needed to God only knows. But I could get enough from what is shared here to hang in there until my sponsor and my friends in recovery who keep human hours were awake.

Left to my own devices, I got drunk. But WE got sober.

THANKS !!!


Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 09:42:54

Comments

***HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAYING CYBER*** My name is JC and I'm an alcoholic. Tell me where can I find a meeting (or parking lot after meeting) whith people from all over the States, Norway, Iceland, England, Scotland, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia and Israel? I found this site through browser 3 months ago and got immediately addicted to it. There have been some great shares here, emotion, help, caring, butt kicking, daily life, spiritual quests, history parts, Big Book thumping, ... And I realise I enjoyed lots of them. There were some worst parts, ... Thank you techs for having built this site where I've made mail and ICQ palls and where I have a chance to share with my AA friends and hear (read) points of views far (geographically) from mine. May God bless you all and give you one more day.


Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 09:44:16

Comments

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Staying Cyber!

My name is Tom A., and by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this fellowship we know called Alcoholic's Anonymous I am sober today.

I really enjoy the Staying Cyber Discussion and 12&12 meetings. The idea of making just one comment on topic is a good one and allows for many more to participate. I hope that we can continue that.

This is my first time for posting on the Coffee Pot, yet I'm sure it provides a need to many around the world.

I for one am glad that Staying Cyber is available for any and all to view and respond.

A special thanks to those who serve as our trusted servants and especially the TECH who keep this site going.

Enjoy Your Sobriety Today!

God Bless - Tom A., ate@gte.net


Member: Lilly C.
Location: Alaska
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 10:01:06

Comments

Happy Anniversary, Staying Cyber and thank you! Sincerely, Lilly C., recovering alcoholic.


Member: Art P.
Location: New Bern
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 10:11:45

Comments

Techs: Like they say in these parts, YOU DONE GOOD!!! Thank you for being here.

Thank you fellow caffine addicts, it sure beat booze!

Thank you God for another day of soberity! And for the people you've put into my life.

Thank you for putting up with me, even if we don't see I to I!

I too would like to see a spell checker added to the site, and a word counter too.

Prayers for JoAnn and Isla, and all in need.

God bless all us sick puppy/ette's


Member: Nan B.
Location: E. Texas
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 10:28:24

Comments

Good Morning! I'm Nan, I'm an alcoholic. 20 days of sobriety. Finding AA has saved my life and my family. The most important thing I got out of my stay in a treatment center was "go to meetings" Absolutely! Staying Cyber is great! Thanks.


Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 10:30:15

Comments

When Kerry and I first came to the CP back in late '97, Raincloud, a Native American lady in Texas, had some shares that were criticized. She got mad and left, predicting the demise of the CP in short order. Not atypically, she came back. And then left again. A CP first, repeated often.

The CP has had it's ups and downs, just like evrything else. For me personally, though, it's taken the place of many meetings. I agree with those who differentiate between the fellowship and the program[me] and say that meetings are only to meet with other alcoholics with whom you share a common bond; to socialize and to be of service to others. You can meet a lot of wonderful people here, and I've been able to do that.

I've had several and still have a couple of "on-line" sponsees. I shop on the internet and have met the lady I'm dating on the internet. Eileen may get mad at me, but I don't think she's ever gone to a F2F AA meeting at all. She got sober with us here on the CP back in January '98, and remains a sober reader today. One difficulty here has been that we're still learning how to express ourselves through the new medium. In the meetings I go to, if someone gets up on their soapbox like some of the preachers do here, people begin to roll their eyes, talk softly, and go to get coffee. The 'offender' gets the message gently, if not at first, at least after a while. Here, we bash 'em immediately and then everyone gets angry. Have you ever noticed the computer slang in Rhia's posts? I think we'll all get better at expressing ourselves alomg those lines. One other thing that will have to happen if the internet is to be workable for this group is that we'll have to have some way to have a meaningful group conscience.

How well do we carry the message? Probably no better or no worse than most other groups. Does that mean we could and should do better? I hope so.

You've been a valuable and appreciated addition to my life -- Happy Birthday, Coffeepot


Member: Dale S.
Location: California
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 10:48:33

Comments

Well paint me impressed. All this positive talk centered around the 2nd anniversary of Staying Sober. The folks that have left the Coffee Pot open definitely deserve the BBB award. This I am sure has not been an easy task. I have learned much from the folks who come to the Coffee Pot and one of those things is temperance of others. And the fact that I should hold back we I want to put others down. I have made many AA friends and met many people who don't know anything of the principles of AA or what they are suppose to do to stay sober. I heard a speaker speaking last night and he said "Go to meetings, get a sponsor, and do the steps." Obviously there is more to be done but these three are a good beginning.

At the speakers meeting the guy that I am sponsoring told me that his life ended 10 years ago when he had his break down. I understand completely my life ended the night my son died. The Bog Book " Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what you present circumstances are. I not only believe this, I am depending on it. I have seen miracles in AA an that is what keeps me coming back.


Member: Melissa
Location: Atlanta
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 11:14:21

Comments

Melissa here (you thought I was gone, hahaha).

Happy birthday Staying Cyber. Thanks so much to the techs for keeping it up. I am so glad to see such loving and positive responses today. I will continue to lurk around and see if it lasts :o)

I hope everyone has a blessed day. Thanks. Melissa


Member: Linda K. (Ethel)
Location: PA
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 11:17:00

Comments

Happy Anniversary!

I am Linda, an alcoholic.

Found site through search engine. Visited regularly and stuck mostly with the meetings after running into too much negativity in CP. I just don't need it, and the meetings are really what I come here for anyway. Long after the rooms are shut down for the night, it is nice to come online and know that there are people reaching out to others to share their experience, strength and hope.

I have met a very dear sister in sobriety (love you Lucy!) through StayingCyber, and look forward to being there for others down the road.

Thank you, Techs, for an HP-inspired and HP-sent miracle of love!


Member: Michele B.
Location: NJ
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 11:51:23

Comments

Congratulations Coffee Pot. What a wonderful blessing to carry the message of recovery through cyber space and reach millions of alcoholics globally. We serve a Great and Awesome God who challenges us to think BIG. AA online is Big!!!! We are not suppose to stop when the vision of our forefathers has been fulfilled. So I give praise and thanks to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for his grace and mercy that keeps us all sober in mind, body, soul, spirit and emotions. I thank the technical wizards that saw the vision that God had given for the growth and expansion of Alcoholics Anonymous. This helps me tremendously when I am at work. I have been blessed and I thank you for adhering to the principles, traditions and foundation that have been in place for nearly 64/65 years. May the Lord, our God continue to bless us all as we reach out to help carry the message of recovery through his grace and the power of this amazing program. Happy Birthday and know even greater things are to come. For Jesus said, "Greater things than this, shall you do" Love and blessings to all members. Thank you for your support in helping me to stay sober one day at a time in spite of me.


Member: Pierre S.
Location: Grapevine, TX
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 12:37:10

Comments

I'm an Alcoholic and my name is Pierre .

Congratulations on #2, Staying Cyber !

I don't always get to "talk" to another Alcoholic every day, but I do get a chance to "tune in" and make a connection with another Alcoholic through "Staying Cyber".

It's become a part of my daily routine .

Glen makes an excellent point about this medium VS F2F meetings where we have body language, etc to express disagreement . I do believe that's one of the reasons why some are so quick to express themselves in "flames".

I also feel that the written word has more impact in the production of potential resentments because we have the ability to read, re-read, re-read, re-read . . . you get the idea !

There will probably continue to be growing pains , nevertheless , this has been a wonderful opportunity for me to meet others attempting recovery from all over the world. It has also given ME an opportunity to practice "restraint of pen...".

Bless all who visit here .

Love and Prayers , Pierre


Member: Phil A
Location: UK
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 13:52:54

Comments

Hi All

Happy Birthday to Keeping Cyber.

Although some posts here seem to be a bit scary at times I continue to visit as it helps teach me tolerance and understanding of other peoples needs, it also teaches me how tolerant I am myself for if I can read past a post which I do not agree with without being feeling hurt or angry or the need to respond then I know I have learn't a lesson in tolerance and self control.

Keep up the good work and to all newcomers to AA may you find what you are looking for, I myself feel more in control of my life than I have for a very long time.

Peace and Serenity Phil


Member: I'm Charity an Alcoholic
Location: AZ, USA
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 14:31:54

Comments

Thank you (((Techs))) for your 12th step work to this sight. Thanks all for your God inspired poems, & words of promise. Negative words can have a mighty infuluence on some, I pray that those of you who have been unable to restrain your rage find a loving Power to see that in each of us here there are defects, but a whole lot of love too. This program is a program of action, we try to put "principles before personalities" we strive for progress in our recovery knowing that perfection is impossible. Lonlieness once filled us too, blackness, hoplessness & pessimism. The program of AA gave me hope, optimism, a strength I did not realize existed for me. I attend meetings with Priests, doctors, homeless, mechanics, lawyers, entrepreneurs, the list goes on. No place else have I ever found a group of people that stand on equal, neutral ground, love each other in spite of where we are in our "social status" .. NOWHERE! Thank God for A.A.!! Page 312 of the Big Book; Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted and needed and loved. In return for a bottle and a hangover, we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom.


Member: fayla
Location: galena  ks
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 14:50:30

Comments

fayla , alcoholic ive seen alot of love and pain here it seems ive learned you cant have one with out the other , and this is where ive found so much love and freindship and so many good reasons to stay sober , because i saw you go threw your pain and many heartaches without having to take a drink , we have prayed , we have cried , we have been lost and we have been found , because we reached out and someone was there to take our hand , someone there to dry our tears or just ley us cry until we were done , i was always so happy to be here with all of you and to know you never half to do this alone anymore , if you just reach out , someone will grab your hand and lead you to the light , i have gained so very much threw this sight . love and prayers to all fayla


Member: Bill J 12-19-75
Location: Kingsville Tx.
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 14:53:51

Comments

Want to thank the teck. for keeping this old CP going. There have been ups and downs but overall I think it is very good if one learns to use the schroll bar and refuses to be tawnted into a war on the Cp. There is no way to stop the sick ones but if nobody responds to them and we all pray for them it gets better. Have learned many things here some how to respond and some how not to reapond .Have made valuable aquaintences and friends here and Want to thank all for there prayers and concerns for my wife. She is terminal with cancer for those who don't know and many here and at Biminy have been very comforting thanks. My special prayers go to Jo Ann and her husband Bill for they are also struggling through a difficult time. I know I can't spell and wish there was a spell checker here .LOVE to all my cyber friends BJ.


Member: JCP
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 15:25:45

Comments

The Monday posts here do seem more upbeat than the weekends. Sarcasm and other barbs toward other people trying to get and keep sobriety is mainly the old dry drunk, I'd say, not being an expert surely. Nothing wrong with that -- it's part of the process for some, I'd say -- unless it obscures step 1 for somebody. But people have been getting sober with dry drunks and the latter have been too, I'd speculate, as long as there has been an AA. My "live" meeting today zeroed in on character defects. I think every one who gets sober has to unload some of them, and in our zeal may slightly underestimate how many we have left. But dry drunks get sober, too, if I am using the term right, and some of them seem to grow up in that role, an irrascible prosonna to entertain the group. Sounds like as stretch, I admit.

Have a nice week.


Member: Connie
Location: Missouri
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 16:05:13

Comments

My problem is Connie and I am an alcoholic

Happy Birthday Staying Cyber!!!!!

I know when I started coming to this site, I knew hardly nothing about computer, and I shared on this site, not sure how it worked. I read all the shares everyone on here was wonderful no back stabbing or nothing. It was the time my car needed ober 5,000 dollars of work on it. I also met Kerry she was searching for a pen pal for her daughter, It is so cool cause my daughter and her daughter became friends and thru there friendship Kerry and I became friends. It neat how this site works. I have made some really good friends. It really neat last Friday I met up with Mary W and Cindy her sister. And that is so kool when you get to meet your cyber friends. It puts you on a spiritual high. It was like a meeting,and I got real hugs not just a cyber hug. Got too each and my little guy was there, and he was a peach. Just sat that looking. I would love to meet more of my cyber friends. And maybe that will come true sooner than I think> I have to say something even with the bashing and cruelty this site has help me thru a lot of my obstacles the past 9 and a half months. I have more friends here than I have made in Missouri, and it so cool cause I have 3/4 of there numbers and I call some of them once a week. I learn from everyone, and that is what keeps me sober one day at a time.

Thanks all my friends here!!!!!

Thanks to the Techs, job well done.

Hugs and Peace


Member: Jack B.
Location: Windsor, ON
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 16:11:37

Comments

Two Years......Wow!! Just like F2F meetings there are ups and downs, resentments, complaints, moaning, personalities before principles PLUS all the great stuff too!! caring, sharing, love, empathy, concern, faith, hope, selflessness, happiness, joy, an freedom.

Also, as in F2F mtgs. there are two types of people: Those that show us what to do to reach contented sobriety, and those that show us what NOT to do. If I truly want to be happy ,joyous and free it is usually not hard to tell the difference between the two at either place.''Please count my vote on the YEA side if spell- checker is being thought of.

Happy Birthday Staying Cyber!!!

Happy & sober May 24th to all, Jack.


Member: mark c
Location: shelter island ny usa
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 16:38:34

Comments

Happy Birthday Stayin' Cyber I'm Mark C from ny, this is the first place I ever shared online a little over a year ago.


Member: Martina G.
Location: New England
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 17:01:50

Comments

I have had computer problems and haven't written in quite awhile. I logged on today and see that it is an anniversary..Happy Birthday Staying Cyber -- and much appreciation to the Techs who have done such a great job.

Reflections on Staying Cyber: There have been times when this forum has been important to my day and other times when, because of the lack of eye contact and accountability, it has worn me out with all of the bold and aggresive personal attacks and negativism. In all of the f2f meeting I have attended, I have never witnessed such boldness and I have to assume it is because one is "safe" to express a point of view -- in whatever viscious way chosen -- and not have to face their attackee. This is perhaps the one thing about on line meetings that I don't like. Before writing something really nasty and personal, maybe we should ask ourselves if we would say the same thing to someone's face and then, how is what I am saying helpful to myself and others in their quest for quality sober living? Civility and kindness in speech can help to heal a wounded spirit for the speaker as well as the listener.

On the other hand, perseverence and tolerance are also valuable disciplines; especially for an addict. And then, there's freedom of speech, which as an American I enjoy and cherish. I don't have any answers to the Staying Cyber dilemma that crops up from time to time to threaten the goal of all AA gatherings, but it is a shame that we so easily sink so low. We never know who is watching and what their frame of mind is.

I do appreciate all of the wisdom I have read and been able to reflect on and feel I have actually made some freinds -- a wierd experience when you don't even know what those friends look like: Thanks to Suzanne, Steve D, Sanders, Connie, BJ, Amy, Fayla, Charlotte, Mary, Glen, (forgive me if I have forgotten any of my S.C. friends)..... you have all helped me on my path of sober living.

God Bless you all.


Member: NICK S. 5-15-84
Location: O.C.N.J.
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 17:45:50

Comments

NICK S.5-15-84 IT'S GOOD TO KNOW THAT I'M IN GOOD COMPANY WITH STAYING CYBER AND TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU EACH YEAR FROM NOW UNTIL WHO KNOWS HOW LONG WILL BE A BLESSING FOR US ALL. IF WE JUST DON'T DRINK AND DON'T DIE WE CAN KEEP EACH MAY A SPECIAL TIME TO REMEMBER AS WE ENTER YK2 AND THE YEARS THAT FOLLOW ONE DAY AT A TIME. KEEP COMIN' BACK!!!!!!


Member: NewBeastie
Location: East Coast USA
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 18:02:04

Comments

Hell to all...just a quick note to say that this site has meant more to me than you folks will ever know. I hope it lasts forever. Luv Ya All!!!! NB


Member: Granny Vada
Location: Texas
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 21:26:30

Comments

Hey Guys, I' m new at this so please bear with me.I'm putting together a cookbook and would like a recipe from all who wish to send one. Please give first name and last initial. (OOPS!,My mind went blank!)

Oh yeah! I'm going to sell these books, and use the money, to buy AA/NA literature for Texas prison inmates, in some instutions where it is not available. I can contact the person, who is in charge of those programs, within the system, and get the books distributed, to those, in need of them. We haven't set a price, as yet. we'll let ya know, as soon as we are able to figure the cost. (probably, about $10.)

To contribute recipes, please, contact me at:

grannyvada@yahoo.com

Thanks, for your help!

P.S. - All, who purchase a cookbook, will receive a free, handcrafted, bookmarker, (Made by my own hands!) suitable for your Big Book, or Bible!

Vada F. - "Danny F's other half"


Member: Michelle C
Location: Camden  county Georgia  Woodbine
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 21:46:31

Comments

Happy b-day coffeepot.Michelle C here.I havent Been here in a long while.God blessed me when he showed me this site Feb 14th of this year I owe my sobriety to the cp.It was the only aa I could get at the time.I know i wouldnt be clean or sober today without it.It was my rock when all I could do was hug myself and rock back and forth and cry in the beginning.I now 90 + days clean and sober.I am an alcoholic /addict I thank MY GOD every day for the coffeepot The only improvement I can think of is a spell checker I'm no typist.LOL.i love you all out there who have helped me get through all of this sober A very special thanks to Jimmy C who without I would have slipped long ago. he has a psycic sence or something.I met him here.wehave exchanged phone #'s he has been my life line.Since i am having trouble with my "home "groupe. I think it will be my lifeline again . I bhave Icq my # is 30627979 my e-mail address is imgeminii666@yahoo.com im not a satinist .thats just my birthday.

My mother is very ill right now.i need all the prayers i can get..I pray to stay sober through this.I just lost my Dad in Aug my mother-in-law in Jan. My sanity can't take much more.I need to stay sober and clean guys .Right now it is just hard.I know if I get messed up.It wont help anything.I just... want to not think for a while.My thinkin' is kinda gettin' stinkin'....Thats why I'm here tonight. I dont know when I'll get back to read your replys.I've been spending alot of time at the hospital.It is 1 1/2 hours away.She is in critical condition .I feel guilty for not being there tonight.I needed some time to myself. God help me get through this .please pray for me ...and my mother.to top it all off my son is being sent away for 90 days .trouble at school he is only 13...The world seems ...crazy...... well enough dumping .God bless youu all....

I hope to hear from you soon.sorry this has gotten long probably over the limit...Just pray for me

Thankyou Michelle C ICQ#30627979/imgeminii666@yahoo.com


Member: Sarah B.
Location: in the Heartland
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 21:52:38

Comments

Happy Birthday, Stayingcyber. I found this site within a day of quitting drinking on April 6, 1999. Since I live in a rural area, & can't always get into town when I want to or need to, this fellowship here has been a lifeline. I relate best to the discussion meeting, and have only now started working the steps so am looking forward to when the 12-Step meeting recycles soon. The coffee pot until this last day or two has been far too confrontational for me. I am indeed sorry for that. I do not understand why people have to be so mean to their brothers and sisters. We can do so much good for each other. Why try to pull anyone down? I hope there will be a shift in thinking here like the last two days. I will come back. I am so grateful to everyone who is responsible for this entire site. I've already learned so much from everyone here. Thank you, thank you.


Member: Art P.
Location: New Bern
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 22:55:54

Comments

Michelle C. hope thing work out well for your Mom, and son. Will include you and them in my prayers. As well as others who are going through rough times that post here. God bless.

I know I'm double posting, but can't stay awake till 12am. and wanted to share this gem.

Country Breakfast

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

God bless all us sick puppy/ette's


Member: jrr--  10/4/57
Location: harmony on the lake.. snickering at toronto fans..
Date: 24 May 1999
Time: 23:36:06

Comments

2yrs and kickin'.. thanks to the techs who stick around do this site. Always an amusing place to visit, however i am amazed the Chefturd stopped in. .. what did i tell you..? no one ever leaves.. the simply LURK.. lol.. and to think i was about to send you a recipe or two Jim.. life is good.. and the Sabres are up. .. 1-0, without the best goalie in the league.. don't say much about those Leafs..keep the faith , toronto fans.. we may let you win one game, still... newcomers.. this deal works.. i promise.. . peace,jrr.


Member: Tom H.
Location: Bend, Oregon
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 01:26:29

Comments

Happy Anniversary

I'm new to Cyber not sober. It does'nt sound as if you need much financial support for the site? I'd be glad to contribute for 7th tradition. Keep up the good work. I'll be back. Tom H.


Member: Bill R
Location: Washington
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 01:29:34

Comments

Today on the anniversary of the cyber AA meetings I happened to choose today to go AA on-line for the first time. With my hectic and ever- changing travel schedule this should be a great way to stay in touch with the program no matter what city I am in or what time of day I need to check-in. I did not first come voluntarily to AA but instead was mandated by the courts like many others out there. I hope that many of you have found as I have that the sober lifestyle has indeed improved my life and my relationships with others. I receive positive feedback on not only how to live a clean life but to better cope with all the other stressful facts of life. Thank you all out there for your continued support.


Member: Mouse
Location: Soon to be Abbotsford B.C.
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 02:32:48

Comments

Hi I'm Mary Anne { aka... Mouse }& I'm a Alcoholic.

HAPPY B-DAY STAYING CYBER.... I'm glad to be back if only for a little bit. I'm still moving stuff out of my house, and it's been qite the joke. I thought being this is the B-day of this site I'd let you all know my real name. There are few who already know it... But being that this has been my Cyber family. I should at least once say my real name... Mouse is a name that I've been called for a long time so mostly I go by that.

When I came to this site, in Oct of 1998. I was going through which was I have to say the worst year since I've cleaned up. This site saved my sobrity, and my life. I have met so many great people here, that some that I talk to almost weekly, have become faimly. When I came here I had lost a lot of dear people in my life through death. I belive I found this site when I need you alll the most.

Even though there has been some, well negative stuff. There has been a lot of love here. As bad as it gets I know I will always be here. Through my life I have never found a bunch of sick people trying to get better as we have here on the most wonderful site on the net. My hat is off to all that come here giving their love and support to all who need it.

My heart felt thanks to the tech's and to all

I wish you all another 24, & one for me.

Mouse norsk@bc.sympatico.ca


Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 04:47:16

Comments

Morning friends I'm Bill, alcoholic. Techs, thank you for this site. First AA meeting, coffee pot that I found and have stayed. I have one question, how big a cake do we need and how are we going to get it? :-) I work a lot of shift work and don't get to as many F2F meetings as I'd like and use staying cyber to help me get through those times when I can't get to a meeting. Awhile back I asked if one of our UK friends would contact me. Not related to AA. Well I got a response and all is working very well. The gentlman knows who he is and has my gratitude. Duanne M, upstate NY. We have the same birthday my friend. This programme really works. May you all have another sober 24 hours.


Member: Bob P.
Location: Albany, N.Y.
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 05:21:19

Comments

Hi everyone, My name is Bob and I'am an alcoholic I just found this site this morning. I have enjoyed all the comments. I look forward to visiting as often as possible. I think it's terrific that this site available for those like myself who work the Graveyard shift. Sometimes in the "wee hours" my thinking isn't what it could, or should be. Again thanks to those responsible for making this site possible, and thereby carrying the message. My e-mail adress is badbob66@hotmail.com. Feel free to contact me. It never hurts to have another friend.

Another link in the chain,

Bob P


Member: Eileen D.
Location: Pa.
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 07:35:46

Comments

Staying Cyber was the start of miracles in my life. I prayed for a long time that God would please help me in my struggle with alcohol. He understood me. One day as I read our daily paper he made a little article about this site stand out. I hoped and prayed it was meant for me. I got immediate feedback from one of the best here. That was Glenn. I came here several times a day and learned so much about the program. That was Jan. 1998. Thanks be to God, I have had no desire to drink since I let God take control. Through this site I became sober. Glenn is right. I never have gone to a meeting. My meetings are here at home. Maybe several a day, but please God this is was worked for me. I am so very grateful to the tech's for all they do to keep this site going. Thank you for saving my life. To dear Glenn, thanks and God love you. All the old timers, Suzanne, Barb. S. Fayla, Sanders, Art, you have helped me so much. Happy Birthday Staying Cyber! May we continue this great site for many more years. Eileen


Member: Richard A.
Location: Greensboro, NC
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 08:51:18

Comments

THEY SAY ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY, WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU-OOOOOOO! Way to go, Staying Cyber! Two years, huh? That is quite an accomplishment! I wish you many more sober and serene years!

I haven't been coming on-line long, but I have benefited tremendously from this site. Thanks to you, techs, and to other on-line alcoholics for this cyberspace meeting. It works if you work it and keep coming back; the miracle is right around the corner!


Member: Paul B
Location: Cambridge,Ontario
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 10:41:43

Comments

Happy birthday Staying Cyber!

I came to this site about a year ago and it has provided me with a lot of food for thought. This site, to me, is just like life. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't but I just have to go through it. The written word is often a difficult medium for everyone to communicate in effectively. Some have a gift for it, others struggle. It is sometimes difficult to read-in the emotions of the author, and I find a lot of people will add their own emotions to the words of others. That can be where the trouble starts. It doesn't take much to trigger people off, and it doesn't help when you can sit and re-read what has been said and think at length about your response. I wish I could always measure my words as well. In a F2F discussion civility rules. You may suspect a person is full of shit, but you smile and say "Keep coming back!". Face to face knowone, accept those who truly believe in themselves, would express themselves as unreservedly as many do here. This is the ultimate in anonimity, no faces to read, none of the visual interpretations that get in the way, you are judged by what you write. Wino or beauty queen you all look the same to me here. I sincerely hope that this forum does not change one bit. I enjoy its variety of perspectives which I don't always get locally.

Thanks to the techs for putting up with us.


Member: Alcoholic, Addict, Julie
Location: Jerusalem
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 10:49:17

Comments

Welcome Nan B and Julie B. Julie, there is no reason to go it alone - you don't need to be strong to go to a live meeting. The book gives us the instructions how to recover, but meetings provide a living example of how it's done. Mary Anne, pleased to meet you, lol! JC, you forgot Slovenia, Brazil, South Africa, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Guam, Finland, etc…

Prayers for Bill and Isla, for Jo Ann and her Bill. And for all who need them here today.

I found Staying Cyber (through an AA search) exactly one year ago, when I got an internet account at work, and loved the Discussion and Step meetings. It was a treat to print them out at the end of each week and read them over the weekend. It took a couple of months until it even occurred to me to check and see what the Coffee Pot was, but I was soon hooked and began printing that out as well.

At first it surprised me that people could talk about their personal lives in a forum screened across the world. Later, I came to appreciate and depend on it, when I realized that my path in the fellowship was to learn by example, rather than being issued orders.

In August, I first reached out and wrote to Sanders, asking his help with something. I was THRILLED when he replied, and he has been a major source of inspiration and support for me. In September, I gave in to my passion for debate and wrote to David Of One Hundred Aliases, who also wrote back immediately. It was not long before I 'fell in love' with his wife - as so many of us have. In this way, I eventually made some really close friends. When I went through a very nasty period a while ago, these people rallied round in a way I would not have thought possible across such distance. Words are inadequate to express the kindness I have been shown here. Some don't come here anymore (like Norm P), but I still like to consider them my friends.

So the coffeepot has been really good to me.

Recently, this site has seen behavior that would not be tolerated in ANY live forum. I share the concerns of Mary H and Steve F that a newcomer might think this has something to do with AA. Perhaps a disclaimer might be added to the page, reminding visitors that this is called "virtual reality" for a reason, and that REAL AA takes place in REAL life.

Thank you, Barry and Tim, for all your hard work (and no small measure of humility under criticism...lol!)

To Richard "Sundance" and Suzanne (whose conversation about the travails of high school was the first one I walked in on…), and to everyone here who continues to share experience, strength and hope (I come here every chance I get), much love from Jerusalem.

Happy Birthday to Duane, Bill W, and Staying Cyber!


Member: Jan T
Location: Ct
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 11:13:18

Comments

Happy Anniversary coffee pot! How excited I was to log on to this site--it was my very first attempt at cyber! I stop back now and then as I have learned how to get to FIR as well and I am frequently shut out here. Thanks for being here for me--I know that we shall all heal! Peace!Jan


Member: Kathy F
Location: Iowa
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 11:16:52

Comments

My name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.

Jrr - you're a hockey fan I see well this one is for you then.... One day in hell while Satan is making his rounds he comes across a Farmer from Saskatchewan, who does not appear at all discomforted by the heat while performing his labors in hell. Satan asks the farmer why he doesn't seem bothered by the heat. The farmer says, "Why this is just a like a typical summer day in Saskatchewan."

Hearing this, Satan proceeds to crank up the fires of hell to get to the farmer. A little while later, Satan checks in on the farmer, who is still happily working away at his labors, with only a little trickle of sweat coming off his brow. Satan asks again why the farmer is not bothered by the heat. The farmer replies, "Oh this is nothing, this is just a like a hot summer's day in Saskatchewan."

The devil gets pretty upset about this so he turns the heat way down He goes back to the farmer who is still happily performing his labors. Satan asks again. The farmer replies, "Oh this is just like a typical winter day in Saskatchewan."

Satan's pretty perturbed by now so he turns the heat right off. Icicles form everywhere. The fires of hell are covered with a thick layer of ice. All the minor demons and devils are wearing their over-coats and long johns. Satan heads back to the farmer and sees him jumping up and down all excited. Satan asks why he is so happy?

"THE LEAFS HAVE WON THE CUP! THE LEAFS HAVE WON THE CUP!" the farmer yells.

No, I'm not a Leafs fan... actually I'm an Islander fan although I don't watch much anymore.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the lake
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 12:46:53

Comments

lol.. and it will be a cold day in hell when the Leafs win.. HEEHEEEE.. jim r.. you got a good recipe for bbq..? they are having a bbq here .. well actually in Lockport area. .got about 40 teams nationwide attending .. next weekend.. look forward to seeing you .. this deal works.. ! i promise.. peace, jrr


Member: Rhia W
Location: Atlanta
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 13:01:12

Comments

Happy Birthday, StayingCyber!

Barry & Tim - i feel i owe ya'll a public apology... i could easily offer a dozen or more legitimately valid excuses, but not helping after promising to help is simply in-excusable... i Am sorry & i do sincerely apologize...

like many have stated, i also don't make many f2f meetings & the CP here has helped in reminding me what the program actually is, the value of the steps, the strength in the fellowship, the power in tolerance & gratitude, & the importance of remembering just Who actually is in charge...

Thanks to Barry & Tim to keeping this place running, & Thanks to all ya'll for keeping it filled w/ES&H

Serenity & Sanity


Member: Steve
Location: Harrogate UK
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 14:02:32

Comments

Well, it has been a few weeks now since I have looked in - I haven't been 'lurking'. I had some problems with the computer, was advised to shut down Windows 98 and restart. Wonderful! One new disc later and one new CD ROM and i am back I think. Dell, Dell Dell!

Anyway, it is nice to come back and see little controversy - that is so encouraging.I do not make a good job at staying sober. Always an excuse, always within myself at home. Just been to doinf some research today in preparation for submitting a proposal and application to do a PHd on Depresssion and the ainterpersonal affects of the depressivee and partner. Heavy, bloody stuff! Talked about emotional rumination! Should it be ruination? I read so much about keeping it simple and "look where thinking got you", but, sod it, folks. Not easy, is it? But, yes, I know, whoever said life was easy or fair?

I read something today about depressives, and their interaction with partners and families. A very, very brief summary is the inter-cyclic affect, I suppose the need on our part (depressives, alcoholics or both) to seek help, attention, love, co-dependency etc. How it must drive others mad, and how we feel sorry for ourselves. Self-perpetuating, self-indulgent and yet so, so very difficult to break the cycle. The "if-only" syndrome.

Yet, there is some truth in it, I fear. Perhaps we create our problems. Certainly, no-one forces us to pick up a drink. Sorry for me and all the rest of it! I guess we can be very sad. But, I am not feeling sorry for myself (honest), just pissed off that I cannot break it.

Please, I ask you do not preach to me. I preach to myself so much anyway. As some of you say, we have to find our own level. You can all have your stories, and I can learn and respect from them, and I am particuarly grateful that there are those who find the spiritual context and ethics difficult to come to terms with. But, in a sense, I can take that to some extent. I think what gets me, what puts me off, but there must be also an allure somehere, is the intensity. There is an attraction, but I alsofind it a bit frightening and disturbing.Overtype seems to have taken over now - my higher power here (sorry to be sacriligious.

Anyway, just wanted to talk. Very much a binge drinker, but no excuse. Can spend a few days away, then feel sorry for myself.

Laid myself open now for the evangelists and funnies.I hope not, please. It is not what I need, even tho' you may think so. Do not drive me away! I know that i have a lot to gain and a lot to lose. It may be that I do not stop drinking through AA - and i know that that is anathema for some - that there can be no other way. That is not proven, actually, but I will accept that abstinence is. I think spititual abstinence must be how you find it, individually.

I am sorry, in what from what I haveread, I ahve contributed a fairly heavy post. Anyone ever got to figure out how to get out of overtype o this, by the way, short of transferring it.

Anyone our ther into either writing children's stories or composing music. It must be indicative of what I am like and my abilities to have 'got' a literary agent for a story, first go, some years ago, and had the lack of brightness and adptability to follow it up. Writer's block or alcoholic block? Tell me!


Member: Pam P.
Location: Ellington, CT
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 15:00:38

Comments

here's a little something to think about!

Good little story: > > A little bird was flying south for the winter.  It got so cold, it > froze up and fell to the ground in a large field.  While it was lying > there, a cow  came by and dropped some dung on it.  As it lay there in the > pile of cow  dung, it began to realize how warm it was.  The dung was > actually thawing  him out!  He lay there all warm and happy, and soon > began to sing for joy.  > > A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow > dung, and promptly dug him out and then ate him. > >     The morals of the story are: >     1.   Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. >     2.   Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. >     3.   When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

AND, I'd also like to say, THANK GOD FOR TECHS! All over the world! But ESPECIALLY the ones that maintain THIS site!


Member: tom t
Location: tenn
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 16:01:58

Comments

tom,alcoholic,etc.,Techs,now seems like a good time to make ammends to you.Acceptance is not one of my strong points(understatement of the year) When I get shut out,because of the page lengths,you are my scape goat of choice. For that I apoligize.This is an important site,you are to be commended for putting up with my BS. Thanks and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOVE TO ALL


Member: Richard A.
Location: Greensboro, NC
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 16:37:52

Comments

Steve of Harrogate, UK - Richard A. here. Read your post and I promise not to preach. Just tell you a little about me before AA (very little because an evening class calls).

I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder back in 1990. Seems like I would go on binges and do lots of crazy things. Life was far too slow for me, so I either had to slow down via alcohol and drugs, to get in sink, or I had to partake of them to Kill the emotional pain of depression. It was a real mess. I never was honest with the doctor about how much and how often I drank (and of course, I wouldn't consider mentioning combining the zanax he prescribed to encourage the effects).

Anyway, things got worse. In August of 1994 after a few days of drinking and drugging, I ended up in the state hospital. It took what it took, and I drank and drugged for another year before going to AA.

Now, Steve, I don't recommend this for anyone without a physician's direction, but it was absolutely amazing how things settled down for me after about a year sober. I eventually got off certain psychotropic drugs I was taking (in sobriety) while being monitored by my psychiatrist.

Life is much better for me and I have my HP and AA to thank for this new-found coping ability.

And Steve, I like to write, too. Those with certain affective disorders do remarkably well in creative areas. It's kind of like we have been places most others dare not imagine. What a wonderful source of material to draw from!

God bless you, Steve, the miracle is right around the corner!


Member: Tim G
Location: SC Tech
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 23:09:08

Comments

I haven’t done much reading lately as usual, but Barry reminded me it was our anniversary so I thought I’d check in. I hope we are doing more good than harm here. With all the comments we’ve received in the past for both sides it’s hard to tell sometimes. But after reading the posts on here this week it reminds me that SC has helped many to stay sober and some have found AA here. I’m just trying to work the 12th step by being a Tech. So thanks to all of you who are here. By the way Avril, my wife is 5 days overdue to have our 2nd child, so we’ll really have our hands full soon. Another wonderful part of sober life. Thanks to God, AA, and all of you.


Member: MaRY w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 23:18:56

Comments

happy aniversary sc!!!! this site has enhanced my sobriety greatly. i've been coming here since feb of 98, and found it through a search engine. through it i have made some wonderful friends. i have learned alot about recovery (what i want from it and what i don't). i have recieved outpourings of love and encouragement and a few flames. i wouldn't change it one bit. :) the techies DO do a wonderful job here. and i am greatful that the founders with the help of the traditions and a loving god created this source for recovery.

now, for a request.... mom is in houston now. she will see her cancer specialist wed and then they will do a couple tests and will know for sure what and if they can do anything. there is little hope for her honestly. what i'm asking is for you to pray for gods will and to be merciful with her and the rest of my family. thank you.

my trip to illinios was nice. there were some problems but none worth drinking over. it was great seeing and hugging connie. and her son is an angel with freckles and the most beautiful eyes! it was nice to visit my old playgrounds and relatives but it is nice to be home at my own computer and own bed!

AA does work. just read the big book, go to meetings, do service work, keep the plug in the jug, and reach out. if you do these things Honestly, Openmindedly, and Willingly the world will open up like you could never imagine! can't promise your spouse will become a supermodel, or that your kids will get all A's... but you will not ever HAVE to drink again. keep coming back.....

mtw@horizon.hit.net


Member: sam s
Location: kansas
Date: 25 May 1999
Time: 23:30:02

Comments

MaRY, may God be with you and your mother and the rest of the loved ones in such uncertain and unfortunate times. Expect the worst and hope for the best. Keep the faith.


Member: Steve
Location: Harogate UK
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 00:52:43

Comments

Not posting twice, honest. Different time in UK.

Richard A., thanks a lot. "Nice" message. Looked back at mine and it seems illiterate; usually very precise. I think for me, creative writing is some kind of release. Perhaps when this site works, as I am sure it does much of the time, that is what it is like for many people. We do not have to have literary pretensions or genius. On the other hand, we do not have to be drunk to create despite the likes of Dylan Thomas and Hemingway.

I am not too sure that soul-searching is good for the soul. Well, I know it is not! If you have been a depressive, you will know what I mean. It not only affects the self, but others around you. The search for meaning becomes so self-indulgent, we know it, but keep on "searching" to the impatience, I guess, of those who who would like to help us, and cannot.

The "self-indulgent" thing, I think is key. "Me, me me" becomes paramount (thanks Kerry), to the detriment of all others. That is one of the things in this PHd project - the bi-lateral effect. We create and respond, the response we get is not appropriate to our needs, misjudged, misinerpreted, as is the initial message. Cyclic Depression in the eye of the beholder and attenuuated by the eye of the received.

Drink is the same, I guess. A depressive who drinks accccentuates the problem. It is no longer the depression in the eye of the recipient, but the drink. Cause and effect!

Can I say this, openly? Talking wears people dowm, doesn't it? Perhaps you can tell by the way I write, I can also talk like this. This stupid search for honesty, as I put it, got me nowhwere, other than a 'sigh'. The seeking to be understood, to express, and the dull impatience with which it is recieved. I suppose as depressived/alcoholics we can be deadly boring. No doubt, some one will tell me thatI am. Paranoid or what? But, also in need of help.

Pretty much an atheist and doubt I will change. I am resolute in that if there is God at all, he is not personal, and does not care, certainly for indivuals. No evidence, too much disproof. I am talking to myself, I guess.

Must have done a lot more that 300 words.Sorry! Art, loved your joke and yours too,Pam P. My sernse of hunour, and appreciated.

Sorry to be heavy. But lots of love.


Member: Swiss Mrs
Location: Switzerland
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 02:24:20

Comments

Hey my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. I came in to visit because I have missed some old friends and was half afraid of what I'd read because I left tis site in Feb. after visiting it A LOT for about a year I too felt insecure when there were fights between people...have kept in touch as best as possible but it is not always easy so I miss the group conscience I felt here especially last summer (thanks db). Dee good poem! Great to see Kerry, Steve F, Jim R, Sanders, Julie, Art, Lilly Dale, Glen, Martina, Jrr, Bill W.

Richard A in Greensboro I got sober there! I went to the happy hour meeting over 4 years ago now.

Thanks techs! I have really enjoyed this visit! Love Amy


Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 03:45:09

Comments

TIM - Congratulations, cyber baby No.2!!! And thanks for keeping us all united across the airwaves. This is not one of my better days, physically, but grateful to be sober. Keep all of those lovely, newsy e-mails coming, all of you guys and gals. It really makes my day to open a pile of e-maieach day. Love y'all, and if YOU haven't e-mailed me yet, the addy is below :-)

Goodie@tesco.net


Member: Martina
Location: New England
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 07:02:41

Comments

From my desk, I am looking out a large window onto a sprawling, lime-green lawn. In the center of the lawn is a massive old Beech tree that I would love to be able to climb. The sun is shining and the air is still. It is early in the morning, and all I can hear are sounds of nature. I am sober and I know that it is my sobriety that allows me to savor this moment. I am at peace and know that nothing can separate me from the love of God.

The greatest thing about this moment is that it is very simple and I am enjoying something so simple. I don't want to forget that there was a time when nothing, so pure as this, could move me at all. It is a gift of sobriety and worth the pain of getting there.

Have a simple, sober day.


Member: Kim D
Location: Florida
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 08:54:04

Comments

Good Morning Ya'll, Kim D here

The Coffee Pot is a blessing!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes a blessing in disguise and sometime outright, but a blessing none-the-less. I've come to the CP on-and-off for about a year now and all the things I read here remind me that I am NOT ALONE. This place is complicated, rich with diverse human emotions, steaming with thoughts and opinions all wrapped with a burning desire to love, be loved and stop drinking. Everyday this page is filled with hope, courage, despair, loneliness, rage, delight and truth. It's a privledge to be on this journey with you all. Thank you to all my fellows.

Happy 2nd year!!!!!!!!

Love, Kim


Member: Art P.
Location: New Bern
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 09:08:21

Comments

MaRY sorry to hear the news about you Mom. And will pray that she will find some good days in her illness. Cancer is a rough thing to deal with. Susie's Mom has it, and has been in remission for over a year, but the Dr. told Susie last week that it's back and he thinks Mom has about six months to live. But she, to her credit hasn't given up on living, complains little and does what she can in spite of being on oxygen. Matter of fact were going to Charlie's Country Resturant tonight with Susie's sister and brother-in-law who are here from Orlando. Might even get to sink my tooth into an oysterburgher. (drool Sanders! lol)

Tim you may be a new father again as I speak. Hope all goes well, and thanks for fathering this site too. Good luck, and good health to you, and all who visit this site.

Amy, tom t. Jim R. and all others who were AWOL good to see your still alive and kicking. Sure beats the alternative.

Steve, screw honesty! It's only a perception, it changes as I do. Rule #62

A the risk of being over the limit, I'd like to enclose a message sent me by a friend.

***************************************************************

"Be not content with future happiness. It has no meaning, and is not your just reward. For you have cause for freedom now." -- "A Course in Miracles"

Live a day at a time. Be here now. Live in the present. Again and again we hear how important it is to live in the moment, to focus on today. We nod our heads in agreement as our minds drift off to yesterday or tomorrow.

After all, we've been taught to worry about the future: "Get good grades so you'll get a good job or get into college...Save money....Plan ahead." The motto is: Sacrifice now, be happy later.

Behind that thinking is a belief that we don't deserve a wonderful life. We're taught to believe that only after we've paid lots of dues and made ourselves nearly perfect, do we deserve happiness. Wrong. We deserve happiness now. Life is happening now. Now is the only time anything ever happens. This is it. This is real. We can have wonderful lives now.

I choose happiness now. I will pay attention to my thoughts and actions and make sure I am not postponing my life, or putting off my feelings, or waiting to be happy.

Prayers also for JoAnn, and Esla.

God bless all us sick puppy/ette's


Member: Corinne B.
Location:
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 09:13:17

Comments

'Mornin' ((CP))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere.

Steve in UK, your posts are really speaking strongly to this depressive/alcoholic - except the part on athieism. I am sticking close to online support during this very harrowing time in my life, and have been getting messages from every angle on how weak is my faith, yet when I ponder whether to grasp on to Jesus as my Saviour, or God, or any Higher Power, it comforts me, even as it scares me.

I know deep down that my life is about to change dramatically in a spiritual sense. I am holding on to old ideas, and the result is nil, and I must let go absolutely - yet still I am afraid.

MaRy and others here needing prayers, me included, I am praying for strength and guidance; for God to hold me; for my guardian angels to embrace me; for I know that everything will be as it should, and that I have so much to be grateful for.

Yesterday, I found out that my dearest, sweetest, devout S.Baptist neice in Georgia is having serious health problems, relative possibly to breast cancer. She has been such a source of strength to me. I also learned that an online HepC friend is in serious declining health. Also coming to light is that there may be a "glitch" relative to a house my mom is trying to buy. All of this comes in the midst of my own health problems - and I am in the process of weaning off the Xanax that the doctor put me on back in January to help me through the divorce, the cross-country trip, etc. I am feeling so out of touch - so out of my element, because nothing is familiar here, and the heat & humidity are dreadful on my illnesses.

I am reaching out, calling, E-Mailing, getting to 3-4 mtgs per week, doing some necessary footwork to keep my health intact, but could really relate to Steve's post about wearing others down. If I could go live on my own, I would, but there are so many circumstances which prevent that, for now, and I am where I need to be; acceptance is the hardest part of being disabled.

My sponsor keeps reminding me that I don't have to make any decisions today. I am just writing to you here to once again ask for (and give) prayers, and to thank you for being right here. It has been such a comfort to be able to get back on this soothing blue screen.

My E-Mail addy is: kokomoro@yahoo.com

Thanks again for letting me share. Corinne B.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: CC FL
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 09:13:48

Comments

'Mornin' ((CP))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere.

Steve in UK, your posts are really speaking strongly to this depressive/alcoholic - except the part on athieism. I am sticking close to online support during this very harrowing time in my life, and have been getting messages from every angle on how weak is my faith, yet when I ponder whether to grasp on to Jesus as my Saviour, or God, or any Higher Power, it comforts me, even as it scares me.

I know deep down that my life is about to change dramatically in a spiritual sense. I am holding on to old ideas, and the result is nil, and I must let go absolutely - yet still I am afraid.

MaRy and others here needing prayers, me included, I am praying for strength and guidance; for God to hold me; for my guardian angels to embrace me; for I know that everything will be as it should, and that I have so much to be grateful for.

Yesterday, I found out that my dearest, sweetest, devout S.Baptist neice in Georgia is having serious health problems, relative possibly to breast cancer. She has been such a source of strength to me. I also learned that an online HepC friend is in serious declining health. Also coming to light is that there may be a "glitch" relative to a house my mom is trying to buy. All of this comes in the midst of my own health problems - and I am in the process of weaning off the Xanax that the doctor put me on back in January to help me through the divorce, the cross-country trip, etc. I am feeling so out of touch - so out of my element, because nothing is familiar here, and the heat & humidity are dreadful on my illnesses.

I am reaching out, calling, E-Mailing, getting to 3-4 mtgs per week, doing some necessary footwork to keep my health intact, but could really relate to Steve's post about wearing others down. If I could go live on my own, I would, but there are so many circumstances which prevent that, for now, and I am where I need to be; acceptance is the hardest part of being disabled.

My sponsor keeps reminding me that I don't have to make any decisions today. I am just writing to you here to once again ask for (and give) prayers, and to thank you for being right here. It has been such a comfort to be able to get back on this soothing blue screen.

My E-Mail addy is: kokomoro@yahoo.com

Thanks again for letting me share. Corinne B.


Member: Richard A.
Location: Greensboro, NC
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 09:24:58

Comments

Steve of Harrogate, UK Read your post and your quest for self-knowledge. Very interesting. If I truly know me, will it help me? Or, will the exercises I employ to know me take me deeper into the abyss? Psychoanalytic theory says it's ok to delve, but like you, Steve, I question the results and the method.

In AA there is a saying, 'Keep it simple.' Sometimes that's just not possible given who we are and the complex mechanisms that make us who we are. So, for me, I try to keep it simple as possible. I do the best I can within the constraints of myself.

Alcohol and drugs confounded my emotional state and exacerbated it. I reached out to HP and was led to AA. But if you are an atheist, that's what you are, it's not good, bad, or indifferent. I know that many who have difficulty with supreme entities make an AA group the HP, and that's ok.

I wish you well on your journey, and perhaps a F2F meeting would help. Try not to beat-up on yourself.

Good luck with your education pursuits.

Swiss Mrs.

It is a small world after all. So you went to Happy Hour at the Unity Club. Tre Kool. I use to get over to the Unity Club from time to time but haven't been there in quite a while. We got sober about the same time! My home group is Beginners; maybe you visited us in the past.

God bless everyone and I wish all a sober and serene day.


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 11:24:04

Comments

Deanna here, alcholic.

Thought for the day:

Whatever our experiences, they will benefit us, and others too, in time.

When we are overwhelmed by troubles, it's not easy to believe there's a benefit. In the midst of the pain, we're often too distraught to even consider the bright side. That's okay because we're surrounded by friends who can help us see it when we're ready.

Eventually the dreadful experience gets incorporated into our lives. We will profit from it, at some point. And when we share what we learned with others, they will profit too. Nothing is without some meaning. It's also true that no specific circumstance really matters, in and of itself. Its purpose has been merely to serve us, to teach us. That's not always easy to understand and harder to accept.

Coming to believe that there is another way to see our lives offers relief. At first we may doubt the soundness of this idea, but trying on a new perspective removes our resistance. Feeling better about our lives is really worth whatever effort it takes.

My whole life I have never been able to find the good in anything first. MY WHOLE LIFE! That's so very sad to me. I always looked for the disadvantages first before so I could make a judgment call after the result...pffffftttt.

I don't do that today. I have finally started looking at the positives and what good can come out of something. I have even managed to find something positive in the death of my husband. That's how much AA has changed my life. Instead of being sad this morning because it was the last day of my daughter's junior high, I could finally be happy for her that she was starting high school. Not sad for me that she was growing up. My "dreadful experiences" aren't unlike anyone else's it's how I perceive it. Telling myself the first time I logged onto the CP that I had been reduced to doing this to was NOT the attitude I needed and it changed my life. It was the "good" result. It got me to a f2f meeting. So thank you Staying Cyber.

{{{{{MaRy}}}}, am praying for your mom. {{{Corinne}}}, go with God my friend, am thinking of you. {{{{{Coffee Pot}}}} (that's for those I missed, including myself.)

Deanna


Member: Yvonne
Location: Chicago
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 12:00:47

Comments

Happy Anniversary Coffee Pot! Good day to everyone, my name is Yvonne and I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Like Kerry mentioned, I too came apon the Pot after being out of touch with AA for some while. I was extremely anxious to get on line and see what meetings were available. At first I wasn't sure where to go so I ended up in one or two strange chat rooms. The participants were pretty young and used the rooms for more social chats, concerts, bunion surgery, whatever. I was really hoping this was not what I was going to continue to find. Some how, some way I found the Coffee Pot and sighed with relief. There have been good days and bad on the Pot and such is life. Take what you need, leave the rest.

Thanks for letting me share!


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the lake
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 12:18:31

Comments

mary w.. god bless you and yours.. when a dear friend in AA passed in '93, after a long lengthy battle with the Big C.. ..my very first sponsor..Lonnie Smith i had been spending hours and hours with him, his family, hospital folks, while he was spiraling away.. in the midst of several radical new treatments, consults, and setbacks, then apparent progress only to be dismayed at inevitable slides into worsening condition, it was brought to my attention, after getting with other people in AA and outside, who had been through similiar experiences, that is was of the UTMOST importance step away.. occasionally.. to get some space.. to take a breath, go for a walk, with my little nephews and their sister.. to take a drive .. alone.. to the Lake... to hit a meeting i normally did not venture to.. to visit another friend i had not seen much of.. in other words.. stay apart of the world other than the situation i was facing.. the illness and my dying friend was there.. and there were others who could sit with him.. hold his hand.. and wipe his brow.. i was not going to be able to carry the weight of the situation.. without driving myself downward. .. to my own demise, so..for what it is worth... that was passed to me, back in the first 3 months of '93.. love you mary w, stieff


Member: Julie B.
Location: North Carolina, USA
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 18:26:22

Comments

Steve, Harrogate,UK: I've read your posts and I understand completely...it's not simple...it's very much complex, that's the problem in itself. life, humans, God, it's all complex...and it's very daunting to try to comprehend it and deal with it all. I've only been sober for 10 days now and I'm not so sure how many more days I'll be able to continue the sobriety...People at this site are very encouraging, but it's not as easy to be strong/encouraging when you're home alone, because you're staying away from the bars, friends,etc., (trying to stay strong)...and you alone and start to think (despite your efforts at trying not to)and you're thinking about everything and you start to think, "I need a drink", but you're not drinking anymore, so whaddya do...you sort of break down...and then you feel like you're feeling sorry for yourself, and your friends accuse of feeling sorry for yourself...so whaddya do? I don't have an answer for you, I just understand, that's all....I am just trying to get through each day...that's all I can do...I guess the only thing I can say is that even though it feels like you're all alone, you're not because somewhere out there someone else is going through it also...just give it your best shot...and keep trying, that's the key, i think, to KEEP TRYING...try not to beat yourself up so much.... thoughts/prayers... Julie B.


Member: Julie B.
Location: North Carolina, USA
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 18:29:47

Comments

Julie B. again, sorry for the typos, Steve...


Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 18:37:31

Comments

Julie B, you're right about not being alone. There is a solution to the dilemma you describe, and we would like to share it with you. Find a local meeting, meet some people. Get a Big Book.

Ask your Higher Power for help, if you're so inclined. It won't hurt. Keep letting us know how you're doing-we care-and don't drink, at least not today.


Member: Mary H
Location: NH
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 18:48:34

Comments

Steve in UK - When I was feeling like you, my sponsor said to me....Time It takes time to heal and grow and to move forward. Years of alcohol abuse does not clear up quickly. You're right where you're suppose to be my friend. Easy does it. Don't drink and go to meetings and ask God for help. God Bless.

Mary - Thoughts and prayers for you

Peace, Love and Freedom


Member: Dale S.
Location: California
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 19:19:23

Comments

What is the attraction that the Coffee Pot Offers? Every now and then I have to stop and marvel and it. We can talk about almost anything we like. Some talk about spirituality some talk about walks around the lake and enjoyment. Some people even try their hand at poetry and conceptions of the God of their understanding. Every once in a while someone even mentions recovery. LOL.


Member: Joe Allison
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 20:11:21

Comments

Hi, all you wonderful people out there in CPland. Joe A. of POrtland back again after an absence of a couple of days (computer problems beyond my skills, and my guru was absent).

My computer guru tuned me into the StayingCyber site about a month ago, and I am very grateful for that.

To the techs and others responsible for this forum, IMO, this is AA service work at its best. Please keep up the good work!

To Steve of Surrogate, UK: I was diagnosed many years ago as Manic/Depressive (isn't that what they now call bipolar?). One of the ways this showed up in my life, I now like to refer to as PMS: the "Poor Me Syndrome". I'm not getting my own way...poor me, poor me...pour me a drink! One of the major changes that have had to happen for me to stop living a life of almost terminal unhappiness was the fact that I am not divinely entitled to get my own way all the time!

That change hasn't been the least bit easy, but it is do-able, a little bit at a time.

Another old habit was that I judged myself without mercy. That had to go, too. The fact that I have made many mistakes in life does not mean that I AM a mistake. I merely goofed, is all, and I don't have to continue to pole-vault over little mouse turds like that.

Welcome, friend. IMO, AA is about nothing but making amends to ourselves by no longer abusing ourselves, and it is do-able!

In the past, I have logged on as Joe A. of Portland. That is not how I identify myself at f2f meetings. My name is Joe Allison, and I am a very grateful alcoholic who has recovered from the alcohol, and is still recovering from the ism. In spite of 28 years without a drink, I have the disease of alcohol-ism, not alcohol-wasm!

Loads of love, best wishes for recovery and peace in your lives from Joe Allison of Portland.


Member: MaRY w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 22:27:49

Comments

got some news on mom...... next tuesday she will go to have part of one lung removed.. they think the cancer attached to the bone so she might lose a few pieces of rib.... then in 6 weeks they will remove a portion of her other lung.... MD ANDERSON is a god send. we aint out of the woods yet but god has put us on the path. prayers still please.... just for gods will... and mercy. thanks....


Member: Rick S.
Location: Ct
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 23:40:56

Comments

Hi..I'm Rick...I'm an alcoholic...I've been in denial for a long time...and have all but lost everything I worked for and dreamed of because of the bottle... I am very blessed to still have the love and support of my two children....it is for them that I will not find happiness in alcohol again....it was such a false happiness....I have planned to attend regular AA meetings for some time now...but...the fear of embarrassment always kept me away...I wish to thank the operators of this site for the oppertunity to finally take that step....I wish I had done it sooner!!...


Member: Kerry B.  3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 00:44:29

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic

Julie B - I hear you! I was single when I started to get sober. It was very hard to "let go" of my old haunts and "friends" (I found out later that they really were just aquaintances). I was in the worst company when I was by myself. I took the plunge, went to a meeting, and be darned if there weren't others there, just like me. Tell you something about these "aa" people - they are (or are at least trying to be) some of the most kind, compassionate people I have ever met. I could never call any of the "aquaintances" in the middle of the night, when it seemed like that whole world was gonna come smashing down on me. I had tried, and always got the "brush off". However, the people in AA encouraged me to call whenever I needed to. I couldn't believe it, and tried it (thinking of course that they were lying to me) - I found out they were sincere. You don't have to be alone and lonely all the time, just because you are not drinking anymore. Let them know you are there, that's all you have to do. Do it for yourself.

Steve E - what can I say? I am glad you are visiting here again. Stay in touch.

Thanks everyone for the nice shares here.


Member: Bob P.
Location: Albany, N.Y.
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 00:48:09

Comments

Hello Everyone, Bob P. here. I'am truely inspired by all the love, hope, and strength expressed here. I'am grateful to have found this site. To Steve, Harrowgate I also am Bipolar I lost everything. My marriage, job and the day to day contact with my son. But, through it all I did'nt drink and went to meetings. I shared, cried, and even "acted" out at meetings. Fortunately my friends in the program never turned their backs on me. In hindsight I had to experience all these to make the "blessed person I'am today. Very simply, I suggest you continue to go to meetings, or visit here as often you like. Hopefully in time you'll find some serenity. If you can't get the program eventually the program will get you. To Mary, and Corinne my thoughts and prayers are with you. We are not alone. A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link. One Day at a Time, and Keep Coming Back.

Another Link in Chain,

Bob P.


Member: fayla 
Location: galena   ks
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 01:38:56

Comments

fayla ,alcoholic , Much love and pryers to Mary and mom , welcome Bob P. and good tohere from eileend. loe you dear lady. You know i had a real close call with my heart a week ago ,it was almost the end i didnt know how bad it was until later , I think if i do what im suposed to ill be ok ill find out the score when i go back to dr the 2nd , I know with out a doubt if i had been drinking at the time this happene id be dead . Friday my brother and i will go put flowers on my mom and dads grave ,i miss them so very much they never got to know me sober or know that i have a ged , but no mater what life deals me im proud of what i have done and im happy about it ,i have grown so much in the almost 3 yars ive been sober , ive learned to love and care for othes as well as myself and IF not for God you all and aa Fayla wouldnt have made it . cause we cant do it alone , and thank God we dont half to , ilove you all ,fayla kay glasgow


Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 02:09:19

Comments

MaRY,

even though I've been away from here awhile, I still am praying for your Mom. I've thought of you often. Gods will be with you and your Mother. Keep in touch.

Yours in the fellowship

Jim R.

Chefjr_cec@hotmail.com


Member: gary d.
Location: Bremerton,wa.
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 06:54:11

Comments

hi i'm Gary and i'm a alcoholic. this is my first aa meeting on line,i have 2 months of sober time now. i would like to have a sponcer from this group who i can email back and forth. i go to meetings as often as i can in my area. i found this site from the yahoo search engine. i hope you will be glad i found tour group.


Member: Martina
Location: New England
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 07:08:16

Comments

Mary --- so sorry to hear about your mother. Will keep her in prayer.

Several people who suffer from BI POLAR DISORDER have posted their experiences here. Would any of you mind sharing something I have a question about? A close friend has a 21 year old daughter with Bi Polar (on medications). Do you have any practical advice on how they should relate to her? It is hard to know when to step in and help that person avoid disaster; when to let go; when to pick up the pieces of their bad decisions, etc. i keep thinking the principles of living with an alcoholic might also apply in that situation, but I don't know that. It would help to hear from those who have been there. Thanks

Have a great day


Member: Zane
Location: Gulf Coast
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 07:10:42

Comments

JOE A.: You said in your post that in your humble opinion that AA is about nothing but making amends to oneself.

My question is this:

What planet did you get that from?

On Earth, we use the book called Alcoholics Anonymous, and regardless of how many CENTURIES one might be sober, I can certainly understand suffering from some kind of "ism" (which incidentally means "a way or practice," and I myself do not PRACTICE alcoholism any longer, but hey, you can if you want...) by believing that A.A. is "about nothing but making amends to ourselves."

I have never heard anything so self-serving in an AA gathering of any kind since I came through the door on June 8, 1981.

It is my understanding, and readily verified for those who comprehend fourth grade English, (not opinion), that A.A. is a fellowship which promotes recovery from alcoholism through a program known as the 12 Steps, which incidentally, are the LEAST selfish and self-serving principles I know of.

In those steps, I was taught that the single most important concept in A.A. is finding a way to God. I learned this in the first three steps.

I also found out that the wreckage of my past could be examined, understood, lived-through, and amended-for by working steps 4-9; Step 9, of course (in our book on this planet) being where we make amends to all the OTHERS we have harmed in our lifetime.

I was taught to maintain that cleaned slate after working the first nine steps...by working the last three daily for life. The book we use here tells me that after those first nine steps, the "problem is removed...it does not exist for us." On those same pages, it tells me, "By this time, sanity will have returned."

That is precisely what happened to me while working the steps the way they are written in the original manuscript.

Good luck with your "ism," whatever that means to you, but it is our practice here not to "practice alcoholism" after working the 12 Steps.

P.S. If A.A., wherever you are from, is only about making amends to SELF, then why is the entire book of Alcoholics Anonymous based on being of maximum service to God and other human beings?

Kick that around and chew on it.

Dear God, what has happened to the original message? And they call them "old-timers..." Sheesh.


Member: Mary B.
Location: Virginia
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 07:24:53

Comments

Hi. It's nice to have found this place. I've been struggling with staying sober for over 10 years now, but I've managed to stay sober and clean for almost a year. I'm having a really hard time right now. I'm depressed and broke. The bills keep coming in, but the money isn't. I work full time, but I'm not making enough money to get by, let alone pay my bills. I'm lonely, I'm isolating myself, etc. I've been going to meetings, but nothing seems to help. I have a four day weekend in front of me with almost nothing to look forward to. Where is the serenity?


Member: concerned in seattle
Location: he must be on heavy dope
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 07:26:49

Comments

Jeeeeezus!

28 yrs?!?!?!?!?! And can make a statement like that?!?!?!?!?!?! Next he'll be telling the newcomers that Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers is a rap band out of Chicago??? and that Mariann Williamson and John Bradshaw are the co-founders of A.A.??? an offshoot of Rational Recovery?????, judging from that share.newcomers please get the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and see through that crap! Please. You'll be glad you did. GET A CLUE JOE A.!!!!


Member: Richard A.
Location: Greensboro, NC
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 08:13:53

Comments

To Mary B. in Virginia

I don't know the answer to your $ problems, but you may try to get a part-time job along with your full-time one. This could also help with too much dead space where you're left with only you. And I would suggest you contact AA in your area. There must be meetings, and perhaps Memorial Day activities you could spend with others.

Life just happens, whether you're alcoholic or not. There are many, me included, with money problems. Do what you can, try to budget better, and try not to look too far ahead. I know I have a problem with that. I can get inside my head, absolutely certain I see the handwriting on the wall, forecast my own demise, and that of civilization as we know it, and then something changes. Life is change, and what you're feeling now will be different eventually. Do the next right thing (to the best of your ability), that is all you can do.

For some reason I have made it this far regardless of my predictions. I wish you well and you will be in my prayers.

Wishing all you wonderful alcoholics a sober and serene day. Peace - Richard A.

Call AA in your area and see what's happening.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Cape Canaveral, Fla - THE SPACE COAST - USA
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 09:18:02

Comments

'Mornin' ((CPers))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere.

I have been able to watch two magnificent wonders of the world this week:

On Tuesday, I watched 2 pair of manatees mating in a canal. I would not have been able to do that, if God had not sent me here exactly when he did, for me to meet a person in AA who led me to another who needed me, as much as I needed her.

This morning, I watched the Space Shuttle Discovery launch. A bit disgruntled at my Mom awakening me after a night of partial insomnia, but musing over how often she used to awaken me and my 2 sisters when we were kids here in the mid-60s, to watch NASA blow up the old "Minuteman" launches high above our skies in the middle of the night. She would tell us not to tell anyone at school, as it was a "secret!" And I felt thrilled to know that our mom was part of the inner-workings of that phenomenon!

I remember, too, in January 1986, just a couple of months before I first was guided to AA, watching the Challenger blow up before my hungover eyes. As I grew sober in that first 90 days or so, whenever the news would come on about that somber event, I would cry, getting out the pain of my powerlessness.

This morning, I did not cry at all. I took pictures of the arc of the light & its trailing clouds of exhaust as they passed between palm fronds in the front yard. I'm not a photographer, but the angle was just so perfect.

Thanks Deanna, Bob P & so many others who are here praying & urging those of us who struggle daily to remain sober. I can, I can, I can - but only with the help of you people, my continuous efforts to keep that conscious contact with the God of my Understanding growing stronger each day (even though at times it seems very weak), and by putting to use the suggestions of online & local f2f AA contacts. One foot in front of the other, and helping in whatever small way I can.

Joe A., I understood your message, because I have heard that very often, about making amends to ourselves. It is an important part of the whole process, indeed! Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Swissmrs
Location: Switzerland
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 09:36:54

Comments

Hey friends Amy an alcoholic again. I wanted to check back in and say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SC!" Forgot that in my post. Richard A. we could have very likely sat in the same mtgs at the unity club. I too had the xanax and drinking problem and saught help in Winston-Salem at RAPHA rehab, a Christian based in patient clinic that helped save my life and introduced me to AA. I checked ma^yself in there cause I knew I was addicted to the meds and it scared me it was only there I considered the ACTUAL POSIBILITY I was an alkie. If you ever go back to that mtg. tell the bearded Jim (always gave the ladies hersheys kisses) I still have the 24 hrs devotional he gave me and Lucky's story I'll never forget. Best of luck to you, wonder if we also shared space at the Rhino,...

Love to the rest of you. PS FAYLA so proud of you on the GED! Amy GC


Member: RAMONA M
Location: CHIPLEY,FLA
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 09:43:10

Comments

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY COFFEE POT, THANKS TO ALL WHO SHARE,RAMONA


Member: Robert B.
Location: Boise  Idaho
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 09:49:47

Comments

Hi. My name is Robert, and I am an alcoholic.

Welcome to the newcomers. I wouldn't hesitate to give medical advice when I was still using; the arrogance and grandiosity of of the alcoholic mind gave me permission to say all sorts of foolish and dangerous things. Recovery has changed me. I have some genuine expertise in applying the principles of AA in my life. If you have physical or psychological problems, find someone who actually knows something about them to deal with them.

It has been my experience that we best carry the message of recovery with reasoned discourse about our experience strength and hope, rather than aggressively attacking the ideas of others. This was a valuable lesson for me, valuable too, for those I would help. I cherish Joe's input, whether I agree with the content of his postings or not. I value Zane's intentions whether I find his style combative or not. I am reminded that my selective perception apparatus becomes fully engaged when someone is shouting at me.

Peace Robert ICQ #31513953


Member: Alcoholic, Addict, Julie
Location: Jerusalem
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 10:53:56

Comments

Thank you, Richard A! I am amazed at how many times I have to hear the message before it sinks in... Corinne, that was very beautiful, thank you.

JC...and Colombia, Switzerland, Sweden, South Korea, Hong Kong, Portugal, Paris (never found out which - France or Texas)...

jrr, now I believe this deal works.

I've mentioned that I read the coffee pot in printout form. Last night I re-read the comments Jo Ann posted here before she went into surgery. In praying for her these past few weeks, I've come to care so much more for her. Reading her post again, I realized how jealous I have been of her vitality, wit and humor, of her self-respect and the mock 'tough-guy' act she sometimes pulls.

Bill B, if you are listening and if you read our posts to her, please tell Jo Ann we know she can pull through this one, too. And we're waiting to hear from her - she can dictate her posts. And she can brag about Texas all she likes (for a little while, anyway... :) <-- tell her that's a smile).

Tom T, we've been waiting on you...glad to see you're back. Yvonne, too. Is there some explanation for your absence, miss? Hope you've brought a note from home...

Amy's BACK! (And all it took was a two year anniversay...ha, ha! Think we can keep her?)

Bill J, thank you for taking the time to let us know how you're doing. Your honesty and courage help me to keep going when things get difficult inside my head. I keep repeating what Sanders told me, that "God is still in the healing business". He hasn't lied to me, yet, that I know of...

My head works slowly... Joe A, glad your computer made it back. Yes, I've heard that Churchill quote... funny thing is, I also heard your Tennessee Ernie Ford quote attributed to him.

Hope this day is a good one for us all.


Member: Camo
Location: deep South
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 14:44:56

Comments

Hey--if I get a band together with that name do ya think we can get gigs at conventions? :)

Had to make ammends to others and to myself. If I ever play/sing in public I will have to make a lot more.

{{{y'all}}}


Member: Sheryl
Location: Ohio for now
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 16:08:57

Comments

Hey guys

Just wanted to let ya'll know that Teri F's dad is gravely ill. They have moved him out of ICU to a private room so the family can be with him. Please add her and her family to your prayers.

Thanks


Member: Caroline P
Location: Austin, TX
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 16:51:50

Comments

Happy Birthday Cyberspace!! It sounds like this site was origionally set up with good intentions, and that despite the self centered bashers, there are many people who can look beyond the negativity. Why is though, that I have never seen someone get bashed at a AA Meeting during my many years of visiting thousands of AA Meetings?

Perhaps the Coffe Pot does more damage, than good. Consider the 100 people who are getting support and help here. Then consider the thousands who leave in fear of being torn to bits, or in embarrasment and disgust. The Coffee Pot, I believe does tremendous damage to the reputation of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am glad and grateful for the people who are finding what they want, but wonder if the Coffee Pot is more about Promotion than attraction for some bashers. Is it better to be RIGHT or to set a good example?

I Love the meetings ......but do not trust the Group Concience of the Coffee Pot...because there is none....It is NOT a meeting. Could the techs somehow limit the bashing???

Consider too the 500(?) or so people who visit the site each day. Why arent we hearing from them? If there was an AA Meeting of 500 people, you could be sure most of them would be heard from......I find it hard to be critical of something AA related, because I think there is always something good....I wonder though, is the Coffee Pot AA related? I never see the 12 traditions enforced....so I guess its NOT AA RELATED!!!!!!!!!

So Many people are not writing in ......Dont you wonder how amazing this site could be if people fealt safe here? this site could be the bright spot in hundreds of more lives each day. Why not take inventory, and get rid of the rotten apples?

I never was much for farming...I do love plants though, and I love to watch things grow. I hope each and every one who reads this continues to grow towards a loving Higher Power. One Day At A Time - Caroline


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person
Location: Detroit
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 16:52:34

Comments

hello, i don't come here very often. i usually stick to the discussion and step boards. just wanted to say hi today. thanks.


Member: Suzanne E.
Location: Wichita, KS
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 17:19:31

Comments

Hi, my name is Suzanne and I'm an alcoholic. (this is the first time I've done this, so I guess it's OK to start that way) I have to vent and I don't feel comfortable sharing this at my new home group...you'll see why. My husband and I move a lot with his work, and we just moved to a new city. I always call Central Service and go visit and pick up a meeting schedule. Well, this time I called and explained that we were new in town and that I would like directions to the office. The woman on the other end of the phone was not very kind. What if I was a newcomer, and it was my first call to AA??? Well, I dismissed it as a bad day for her, and went on my way over there. (needless to say, it was a nightmare to find, and I'm grateful for the extra dose of serenity I was given that day). I walked into the office and it was pretty big, and pretty dark in there. I stopped a few feet from the door, and nicely asked if they were open. (this is the clincher) She looked at me like I was an idiot, then looked around the office, then with a sarcastic voice said, "yeah", and proceeded to staple or whatever she was doing. I asked if she had any meeting schedules, and she said...in such a rude manner I almost walked out..."yeah...they're on the corner of my desk"...which she happened to be sitting at, and which were about 8 inches from her hand. I realize the traditions don't say anything about "kind" workers, but "special" to me implies kind. AAAAAAHHHHHHH. Phew, glad I could get this out. She was so utterly rude that I could only pray for her and hope that if a newcomer walked in the door, she would treat them with love and kindness. I was not treated with such sarcasm when I walked into a different Central Service for the first time. If I had been, I would still be drinking today. I was in no shape to chat, I wanted help, and there seemed to be 2 ways out...AA or suicide. Thank God for AA. So, I still cannot seem to get this woman's behavior out of my mind. What about the newcomers???????????? I understand people have bad days, and who knows what had happened in her life prior to my contact with her, but I am really bothered by this. This is the 2nd time I've been in the midst of Central Service workers who have been very rude...the other time I was having coffee in the office and apparantly a man called and wanted to have another man call him, and the woman told him that he had called the office before, that he already had phone numbers from her, and that he could use those. This was all at the direction of the Central Service manager...!!!!!!!! Is it me, or are we supposed to pass it on? Maybe everbody isn't a high bottom drunk, maybe we lose numbers, maybe...who cares...AA is to help people achieve sobriety. I am sorry to ramble on, but I am so disgusted that I didn't know where to turn. Does anyone have any suggestions, other than talking to my sponsor...I really want to do whatever I can to make sure this type of situation is avoided. I know we do not live in a perfect world, but this type of behavior seems a little too far left for me. "Special" workers is taking on a new meaning for me...and I don't want to feel this way. Thanks for listening...God bless you all...Stay sober...and happy.


Member: Dog
Location: Growley County
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 17:30:28

Comments

BARK BARK! BAKR! BARK! roof roof. BARK! BARK! roof roof roof.... Arf? Arf? Bark bark bark. Arf arf arf. ROOF! ROOF! Bark bark abrk bark bark. Arf arf arf arf. Arf arf roof roof. BARK BARK!


Member: Joe Allison
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 17:53:34

Comments

Hi, all you beautiful people. Joe Allison here.

Normally, I do not defend myself and my views. I figure it's like a tennis game: I put the ball in your court and what you do with it is up to you. This time, though, I will both agree and disagree with some of the conclusions I have reached.

You are right, the Big Book DOES say that our primary purpose is to be of maximum service to God and our fellow man. The trouble is, I cannot give you something I don't have myself, so... It has FIRST been necessary to find out how to make amends to myself and then put it into use in my life so that what I share has the "punch" that comes only with experience.

In the 28 years that I have gone without a drink, I have heard many arguments about "my" program vs "the" program, and have settled those debates for myself in this way: I have been able to come up with "my" approach to "the" program that is tailor-made to fit me and my needs perfectly. I share what works for me so that others can take any part(s) of my views to tailor-make their own approach to "the" program. We are all different, and what works for me may not work for anyone else (but then, it doesn't have to, does it?)

My purpose is to let others know that, IMO, the only "wrong" approach to sobriety is to drink or use some other mood-changing substance. We all need to evolve into different human beings in our own unique way (Appendix II of the Big Book describes the spiritual awakening as a "personality change". For me, that change has come about by me making amends to myself FIRST, then I can possibly help someone else.

Several times in my posting at this site, I have mentioned that the word "maybe" has become the single most important word in my vocabulary. Anything and everything I say may be bull shit. On the other hand, maybe, just maybe,

Best wishes for another good day of sobriety to all who visit this site. God loves you, whether you like it or not, and I have long since stopped trying either to amend or repeal God's laws.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake.. awaiting the invasion of the canadian freak fans..
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 18:12:30

Comments

uh oh.. lovefest is gone.. lol caroline.. if this place bothers you so much..why bother..? or perhaps.. figure out why you feel the need to do a collective inventory.. perhaps .. just perhaps.. you may investigate why you are disturbed ..? just a thought.. lol Hey Paul .. we will see if the Satan and company got moxy.. or if they will be tossed aside by a bunch of Leafs.. this deal DOES work.. !! i promise.. peace, jrr. PS-- dang.. chefturd.. i am hurt.. not even a hello.. :(


Member: Sanders Fan
Location: Everywhere
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 18:33:31

Comments

Caroline: You are sooooo right. I'm one of those who don't post often but who read daily trying to find some support. Now that the dry drunks have managed to chase off those spreading the message this place has really gone to hell. jrr, before you can jump in here, let me say that I keep coming back in hopes of seeing the return of those who have left who meant so much to me. I'll just sign this anonymously so jrr won't know exactly who to flame. Thanks, Caroline, for saying what I've been too timid to.


Member: jrr
Location: still owning cowardly anonymous turds..
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 19:20:31

Comments

don't worry.. you and caroline can send us updates.. but remember..I own you... if you are here or cowardly posting from there... you just cannot get me out of your head..or.. perhaps, you cannot help using me as your higher power.. it is ok. . i am used to the adulation.. but do try to not mention my name so much.. i don't need my ego fed.. Leafs have invaded the Lakeside town.. oh no..


Member: Sheryl
Location:
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 20:09:13

Comments

Just wanted to update ya'll. Teri's dad died about 630pm today. She is hanging in there. Thought her AA cyber friends should know. I will print out the page to give her later.


Member: Suzanne H
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 20:34:34

Comments

Teri, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Love Suzanne H


Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 20:37:42

Comments

Geri W, a very grateful alcoholic here. Hi!

Sheryl, please tell Teri F. that my prayers are with her and her family.

MaRY - hope it goes well for your Mom. It's gonna be a tough 12 weeks for the both of you.

Does anyone know how Isle and JoAnn are doing? Hope the Bill's are hanging in.

Robert - WTG.

Well guys, it was nice when we were nice. Lasted longer than I thought it would. Gotta dust the old scroll bar again. So have at it. Just everybody stay sober. Go to meetings, keep your side of the street clean, trust God and help another alcoholic. That way we'll all make it another 24.


Member: Mary H
Location: NH
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 21:25:15

Comments

Teri - God Bless and keep you in your time of need.

Mary B - My sponsor says that sometimes our answers are found in our own words. Don't isolate. Double up on your meetings this week-end. Let people know where you are at. And remember to keep it in the day. A day at a time. Try not to focus on next month's bills when today sober is most important. God will take care of you. Don't drink, go to meetings and ask for help.

Realization dawns that he is but a small part of a great whole; that no personal sacrifice is too great for preservation of the Fellowship. He learns that the clamor of desires and ambitions within him must be silenced whenever these could damage the group. It becomes plain that the group must survive or the individual will not. - Tradition One "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity."

Unity, Service, Recovery - The three legged stool cannot stand if one of these legs is missing


Member: Jay B
Location: Poulsbo Wa
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 22:02:02

Comments

Gary D bremerton Wa i live in poulsbo wa just a short drive away My e-mail is abayridge@silverlink.net if your looking for a f2f and a online sponsor i am willing the ball is in your court now i have been sober for 8+ years and am service oriented

Thank you coffepot and techs for your great service and to all who share experiance strength and hope thank you good night and god bless icq#33438155


Member: Jay B
Location: Poulsbo Wa
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 22:03:03

Comments

Gary D bremerton Wa i live in poulsbo wa just a short drive away My e-mail is abayridge@silverlink.net if your looking for a f2f and a online sponsor i am willing the ball is in your court now i have been sober for 8+ years and am service oriented

Thank you coffepot and techs for your great service and to all who share experiance strength and hope thank you good night and god bless icq#33438155


Member: Jay B
Location: Poulsbo Wa
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 22:03:52

Comments

Gary D bremerton Wa i live in poulsbo wa just a short drive away My e-mail is abayridge@silverlink.net if your looking for a f2f and a online sponsor i am willing the ball is in your court now i have been sober for 8+ years and am service oriented

Thank you coffepot and techs for your great service and to all who share experiance strength and hope thank you good night and god bless icq#33438155


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 27 May 1999
Time: 23:14:00

Comments

Deanna here, alcoholic.

Teri, God will sustain you. I am so sorry for your loss. You are a pillar of strength. Take care of your memories, but most of all take care of you.

Love,

Deanna

Sheryl: Thanks for keeping us updated..{{{{sheryl}}}}}


Member: Brian B.
Location: Rotherham, S.Yorks.UK
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 02:51:56

Comments

Sheryl, thanks for letting us know about Teri. Teri, my love, words cannot compensate for the grief you must be feeling; however, you have the strength to bear such a loss. I know this from your established sobriety and your application of the program:- an example to us all.

Suzanne in Witchita, did you perhaps go into Central anticipating confrontation? I know I can psych myself up anticipating trouble; go in with the body language, set features that will almost garantee a negative response and thus fuelling my righteous indignation when I get it. Good AA way is to look at my own part in something like that; just a suggestion.

A belated happy anniversary to the CP. I have not posted for a few days, for obvious reasons. Yes, I nearly became one of those who "took my ball away" but then; as good friends have said in e-mails and other places, you let the bastards win, so, here I am again. I`ve been lurking, perhaps somewhat apprehensive about reappearing. I recently posted the Martin Luther King quote, "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it". Its all very well quoting pretty quotes, the test is if you can apply them.

Joe, I`m 100% with you, thank you for your lovely posts. IMHO, a lot of the question is about whether the program (and sobriety) is an end in itself; or a key to the rest of life and its living. To the fundamentalists, this is a non-question, they can only see the quotes and sanctity of the BB, they cannot even perceive what may lie before and after it.

Another thing, Joe, since you posed the question of making amends to ones self, I put it on the table at a discussion meeting. Some excellent and stimulating debate came out. In reality, the "selfish" approach is pretty basic; without the desire to preserve "self" I would have topped myself ages ago, without even embarking on a recovery program. Therefore, in those terms, the whole program of finding God, doing God`s will, cleaning house, carrying the message has an underlying motivation of "self". This is impossible to achieve, I suggest, if one is carrying guilt, shame, fear and all other strong emotions around as baggage: the program is about making amends to ones self and breaking through to self-realisation and a comfortable "fit" with a God of your understanding. As Joe says, my program suits me and all I can do is talk about it and see if it fits anyone else. With Joe`s 28 and my 30: an identifying accord amongst us, - isn`t that in itself carrying a message?

Thanks for all your support in recent days, my friends. For my enemies, (yes, one can have enemies in the fellowship), may you eventually enjoy the serenity that is my lot. luv Brian.


Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 08:44:12

Comments

Zane, you came through the doors of AA on June 8, 1981? I thought you had only three years sober.


Member: SEEING THE ROSE
Location: AND NOT THE THORNS
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 08:46:22

Comments

Once a certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and, before it blossomed, he examined it to find out the bud that would soon blossom from the stem with the thorns.

He thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?" Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and before it was ready to bloom, it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The noble, devine or God-like qualities planted in us at birth grow amid the thorns of our human faults.

Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us.

We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them.

One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others.

The characteristic of friendship or love is to look at a person and, knowing his/her faults, recognize the devine nobility in his/her soul, and help him/her realize that he/she can overcome his/her faults.

If we show him/her the rose, he/she will conquer the thorns. Then he/she will blossom, blooming forth thirty, sixty, a hundred-fold as it is given to him/her.

Our duty in this world is to help others by showing them their roses and not their thorns.

Only then can we achieve the love we should feel for each other; only then we can bloom in our own garden.


Member: Zane
Location: Gulf Coast
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 08:58:56

Comments

Suzanne:

I've seen the very same thing you described with the "servants." I've found that if you trust a human power for anything, chances are greater than even odds that you'll get burned every time. Yes, it's sad that we have that sort of folks around, but they're just people, and people like to pretend they're the Governors of A.A. while the newcomer wonders what happened to the original message of A.A., or if it ever had one.

The best we can hope for is to correct these fallacies as we go along, using our basic precepts directly from the text so that the alcoholic who suffers can get a glimpse of what we stood for early on, a message so rare today it baffles many when they hear it. If the newcomer survives long enough to read our text, he often finds for a fact that "time" without principles is just that, "time." You asked if we were supposed to pass it on. Yes, but what are we passing on? Our own interpretation of the Steps? Here's a suggestion: Use the English interpretation, since that's the original language of the original fellowship, and leave the "Well, Here's What They REALLY Meant" folks to their own "opinions."

I asked Jack Bowen (died, 48 yrs recovered) once, "Jack, are we losing this thing?" He replied, "Zane, we lost it in 1956. Today everyone wants to "pass on" their own ideas, probably got a book at their house, "How I Think It REALLY Ought to Work." Sad, but true.

Picture this: Newcomer shows up at this site (one of the 500 persons who visit this site, as you mentioned) and sees an "old timer" write this: "Okay, kiddo. Here's the program..all ya gotta do is make amends to yourself. That's it."

No wonder they're dropping like flies and no womder the average newcomer has less than a 10% chance of recovery, as opposed to 75% when we began. We left something along the way. Lost it in our own interpretations of "what they probably meant."

We have "old timers" who tell the newcomer: "We know only a little," quoting from the book as it was written in 1939. Reckon we know a "little more" after 4 million alcoholics and 60 years? What I personally know is this: As soon as I quit trying to rearrage, restructure, and quit adding my personal ideas to the 12 Steps, they work flawlessly, just as they always did.

What are we passing on, you asked? Hey, it could be anything, as you can well see from the shares here. We have so many who have "deciphered" the already pathetically simple path of the 12 Steps, and who've decided pretty much that the original fellowship had it all wrong. If their ideas are so noteworthy, why don't they start their own fellowship and write their own version of "How It Oughta Work?"

Every time someone tells the newcomer that the program is meetings, he does the newcomer a dangerous disservice. Every time we say, "Just keep coming back," what are we asking them to come back TO? More personal opinions on how it should work? Weren't these the same opinions that got their owners drunk to start with? "Keep coming back," without telling the newcomer that there is a SOLUTION is the same exact technique used by treatments centers in revolving-door recovery for profit. That's not A.A.

Sure, we all grow beyond the steps if we successfully work the Steps to their desired goal of "spiritual awakening," but what about the newcomer who has not seen the true message of A.A.? He could feasibly go to ten meetings and hear ten interpretations, all different,of the Steps, and then eventually get the book and wonder, "Why does nothing they say match what's in this book?"

Hey, why not hand them the book to start with? I encourage all newcomers to read our text completely and to work the steps as they were originally written so that once they start visiting other meetings, they'll be able to differentiate between "A.A." and "opinion." Doesn't take an astrophysicist to see that we have lots of folks who, regardless of years of "time" still don't know anything but their opinions.

"A way out on which we absolutely agree?"

The Steps. The only program of recovery ever to exist in Alcoholics Anonymous. Right there in the book. Newcomers deserve nothing less than the truth.


Member: TO CAROLINE P:
Location: GO TO DISCUSSION PAGE IF YOU WANT A MEETING
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 09:20:04

Comments

Coffee Pot

The Coffee Pot is intended for general discussion on any topics not necessarily relating to alcoholism including: jokes, greetings, announcements, business meetings, etc., so that the meetings can stay focused on the topics.


Member: Jay B
Location: Poulsbo Wa
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 09:47:44

Comments

sorry about the triple post was wotking in my home office on my lan system and refreshed after posting to the cp and accidently reposted from the refresh one of the reasons we have an 10% recovery rate in my humble opionon is the fact that we have so many people entering AA with high bottoms that they need to go out and do some more research if you were able to track people from there first visit to death we might find it is actually much higher also are we checking in on the newcomer who inexplicably dissappears after a short while or do we just say oh well concern for others is the utmost importance slips happen in recovery they are not madatory but it is up to all of us tounderstand yes you can lead a horse to water but not make him drink but if you keep leading him to water odds are eventually he will get thirsty and drink remember it is our responsibility when ever someone reaches out to AA rto be there good day and godbless


Member: Brian B
Location: UK, 2nd posting to catch up for a week of sulking.
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 09:49:01

Comments

Zane, apart from your oblique asides about "old-timers" who actually don`t do it "your" way; your application of the 12 step program is personal to you, however pure you may concieve it. Mine is personal to me, I had the chance to restructure my priorities in life whilst doing the "discovery and hygiene" steps; and now live with the daily fine tuning of the "maintenance" steps. This personalisation can only be an opinion; whether you think that you are preaching a pure dogma or not. I can only give my opinion.

Your zealot`s attack of anyone who dare develop anything that contradicts your dogma has already deterred some colleagues from coming to this site. I enjoy your philosophical debates, however, there is an important part of the recovery program that cannot be obtained purely on academic study, it can only be experienced by living a life, its called humility,- go, -fetch. Sorry, thats me coming down to your level, telling others whats good for them. Don`t "Go - Fetch"; may I suggest you take a stroll over to humility, glance at it and, if it appears interesting, pick it up and carry it around for a while, you may find it beneficial, to your "self". Thats "in my opinion".

As regards failure statistics in AA, I`m 100% sober today, thats the only thing I can influence, - looking after self, so I may just be of some help to others, if I can. Q.E.D.


Member: Suzanne E.
Location: Wichita, KS
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 10:28:32

Comments

MARY B.......... You are exactly where your higher power wants you to be today. I too am a little leary of the long weekend. I'm in a new city, and even though my husband is with me, my sponsor and rest of my AA family are 3 hours away. Please email me at sbwxx1@yahoo.com if you want. We just got our computer and I would love to have someone to email...especially someone in the program. I would love to share some experience, strength and hope with you.

Steve......thanks for responding. The funny thing about what you wrote is that I went into Central with a GREAT attitude...I guess I'm missing something...why did it bother me? I haven't looked at my part...now I will....thanks...sometimes we only need to hear what we have heard a bizillion times!

ZANE...Gulf Goast...(just moved up here from there)...thanks too. I, too, know this program has changed over the years. I know a few "fundamentalists", and I have gravitated towards them because I want what Bill and Bob had. I'm no expert, nor will I ever be, but I sure appreciate your comments. I was a little put off by some of the negative remarks made TOWARD others made on this site. It's AA. We're a family. I wrote for input, not insults. I've never been insulted in an AA meeting, I know that the people there try their darndest to share their experience strength and hope. We only do the best we can with what we have. Like I said, I had the need to vent...and I wanted some constructive input. Thanks. I believe we have lost a lot of what we started with, but I also believe that there are people...like you...who want to preserve what we had. Please keep spreading the word, and God Bless...

Teri...My thoughts are with you and your family.

I hope you all have a clean and sober weekend...one day at a time...enjoy!


Member: Zane
Location: Gulf Coast
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 10:32:38

Comments

Brian,

I just read your post and your mention of the "discovery and hygiene" steps was refreshing, as was your mention of the maintenance steps. That's the first time I have seen steps 1-9 and steps 10, 11, and 12, respectively, characterized that precise way, and I thank you, sincerely, for that simple look at a simple set of principles and work.

As far as my "zealotry" is concerned, I want to thank you for noticing. I do not pretend that there are not those of us living out on the edge of the envelope of Step 11, and that we are beyond those "discovery and hygiene" steps. That is not my point, and perhaps I misspoke earlier.

My point is that the newcomer, when trying to get sober, needs a regimented program of recovery, and I assert to you that the Steps are just that. Most alcoholics lack structure in their lives, or perhaps that's just my opinion. Another thing I noticed about myself while drinking is that I neither followed instructions, from ANYone, nor did I follow-through. The first nine steps gave me what I needed, Brian: A chance to have a goal in sight, one I could reasonably hope to attain, based on the successes of those who went before me. As Glen asked me, "You came to A.A. in 1981?...and three+ years sober?" Well, yes. I have been a member of A.A. since 1981, but did not recover from alcoholism until much later. During those years I drank in the parking lots of meetings, I had been listening to "Keep coming back, even if your ass falls off," instead of paying attention to the very few folks who told me that the Steps were the way out. Why do I mention this? Because there is a huge chasm between "being around A.A." and "getting over alcoholism." I know for a fact that you understand what I mean.

As to your friends who shy away from this site because of anything I share, I suggest they get help with overcoming their fear. Fear has kept many good folks from ever reaching the solution, and it also prevented me, personally, from ever getting my head out of my ass.

Back to the newcomer: Would you offer him the level of philosophical entertainment that you and I engage in, or would you offer him the simplistic path of the Steps, leaving him to enter our discussion later, when he has a more solid position on terra firma? The entire point being: When they come in the door, shouldn't we tell them that the Steps are our way out, and show them that first?

I apologize to Joe for being so adamant, but I have seen so many new persons walk out the door wondering why folks in meetings are making it up as they go instead of using the principles this fellowship was founded upon.

Why does this bother me? Because it took me a dozen years to find a man who would not spout his own opinions, one who answered every question I asked with "What does the book say?"

Brian, you and I both know the Steps are a mere primer to what is out there; shouldn't a new person start with a primer that restores some semblance of sound thinking and principle before embarking on the various "interpretations" found among us today?

Joe, I apologize to you if I sound offensive, for what that's worth, but I don't back off telling the newcomer that there is a solution and that it's STILL the Steps, and that what lies beyond is miraculous.

Teri, you have my sympathy over your loss. Death and its thought-provoking uncertainty is never easy to handle and I wish you well.


Member: Johnny B.
Location: Sarasota, Fla.
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 11:07:16

Comments

I'm new to this site,but, I have 13yrs in the program, 14 on Aug.13th. I wish I could stay longer,but, my schedual at this time is limited so I have got to go for now. I'm glad that I have finally found you guys I still need all the help that I can get and I hope I'll be able to help someone with my future comments. Thanks for all the hellp Johnny B.


Member: Paul B
Location: Cambridge, Ontario
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 11:27:26

Comments

Brian.... Why is it that you spout forth your effluent and use this forum as a soapbox for your opinion. Often it seems you hop in to defend the opinions or feelings of others and then end up muddying(sp?) the waters to appear deep. What your saying to me is stay sick a long time until you figure it out. Are you proud of this humility you show?

I personally like to go to open meetings these days where a person has no fear of telling their story and I alone can form an opinion in regards to what they speak. I need not share if it fits my mold or not. I listen. Closed meetings are the forum for the opinionated. Confusion reigns after 20 people share different views of the same topic. " Lets talk about fear" Soapboxes for everyone! How does a newcomer benefit from that? Unless someone explains the steps from their own experience and how they overcome them using the book as reference. Simple but rare.


Member: Eric H.
Location: Fla
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:19:31

Comments

Eric Alkie.

God, thank you for saving my life.

Teri...I'm so sorry for your loss. You mean a great deal to me, and I pray that you and your loved ones are carried through this period by God. Thank you Sheryl, for being there for Teri, and being here for us/me.

Corrinne... So glad to hear from you, we talk less together now than when we lived a continent away :-). Still haven't seen a manatee this trip, I did before, I saw some dolphin last night while fishing, and caught a 18" snook, too small :-(. What you brought up about the Challenger really sent me back. It was snowing in NY, my friend and I had shoveled snow deep into the night before. We had our money, so we woke up early in the A.M., and practically ran downtown to get our stuff, crack-weed-beer, and ran back to my house. After getting lit, there was that familiar "what do we do now" feeling. I turned on the tv, and there is the Challenger, exploding over and over again. Instantly, I felt this sick feeling, words can't describe it, but this will have to do. " Here I am wasting my life, smoking crack, wasted at 9:30 in the morning on a beautiful sunny winter morning, and these wonderful, brave, heroic people just gave up everything, dying for something they believe in." I don't think I have ever felt lower, and that feeling stuck with me into my bottom, into recovery, and into today. By that, I mean that I remember where I was, what I was doing, and how I felt. That is one of thousands of keep it green memories that I never want to forget. That is what is waiting for me at the end of a Molson on a hot summer day after doing the lawn. That is the end of a cocktail on the beach, after a wonderful vacation. The disease wants me to think of good times, I think my disease actually scripts those beer commercials! What you just gave me, Corrinne, was a window back to the past, and I am so grateful for that. Guess I ain't cured yet, huh. :-)

Re: AA's in service..I agree that a person at times doesn't act in AA's best interest at times, nor their own. I think this site proves beyond a doubt that point. I am one and the same, I am not perfect by any stretch of anyone's imagination. I want to practice these principles in all my affairs, falling far short a lot of times. I want to say that I consistently follow the principles, I look for consistency in others. Over time, a person will show their true character. To judge a person on one encounter is just not a fair thing to do. Hurt feelings aside, if your side of the street is cleaned up, then let God handle the rest.

One more...I agree with Jay completely on the subject of high-bottom drunks coming in to AA. For whatever reason, some who come into AA are not ready to let go absolutely, and it is heartbreaking to this alkie. But, I have no power over that at all, I just carry the message that I was freely given. One observation: the people who allow choice to guide their lives seem to be free, while those tied to dogma seem not to be free.God has his reasons, and I am not going to debate God, so why debate you? You are an extension of Him, and while it is so very hard at times to just let go and let God, especially when I see something that I disagree with, that doesn't make it any less necesary to let go. As so many here keep repeating, seems like to me personally :-), some are here to carry the message, some are here to show me what I do not want to become.


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:20:22

Comments

Personally I would have never gotten down to working the steps if I hadn't heard 20 stories on fear. One of those stories described me. That's when I knew I was somewhere I belonged and was wanted.

Deanna


Member: Art P.
Location: New Bern
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:21:16

Comments

Well two or three days of caring and sharing, and the "asshole" reappears from deep in the pages of the big book to inform someone with 28 years of continous sobriety that his opioin aint worth shit. And the pot goes up in flames. The last lull we had was when the asshole went to feed the sharks.

OH! sorry he don't like it when he's refferred to in that manner. (He is apologetic too. So there you go.) Maybe he needs to be called Rex......as in Rextum. Kinda of an oxymoron, putting the tail at the head.

Well Rextum, let me express in my not so humble opioin that you haven't helped any newcomer by spouting your pontificating bullshit. " Don't talk down to a drunk?? "

You are that bum that wiped the puke off his shoes, and now has everyone else's anwcer to all lifes problems. Except that it seems you haven't found out how to carry a message. Your still a bum. You have no class, your a disgrace to the process of recovery, and nuts to boot. Rules don't appy to you cause your a misfit. And if I weren't such a stickler for live and let live. I'd really tell you what your problem is. LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!!!!

So Rextum, why not take your big book, and put in along side the Sear's big book next to the pot you really belong on, incase you run out of paper. In other words give somebody else a break. Or simply put and egg in you shoe, and beat it. Bye.


Member: Pierre S
Location: Grapevine TX .
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:29:31

Comments

Suzanne, I hear you loud & clear and understand your concern.

I'm reminded though, of a situation years ago when I was voicing my displeasure over certain things that were going on in my home group that I didn't like or didn't agree with. I think it was my sponsor who pointed out that I could make a differnce if I attended the monthly Group Conscience Meeting and make some recommendations of my own. Since I didn't like Group Conscience Meetings I didn't attend them . From that point on I was not as quick to make negative comments about how the Group operated since I chose not to participate in the decision making process .

Perhaps you might consider making a difference, Suzanne, by volunteering your time in the Central Office to help, or even put your name on the list for "call forwarding" to take calls from inquiring newcomers. I think it was Ghandi who said " I must be the change I wish to see in the world ".

Joe A. I think you exhibited some class in your response.

Brian . . . . I loved your comments as well, about DISCOVERY and HYGIENE .

I was attracted to my first Sponsor and to my subsequent Sponsors and Advisors by the way they seemed to wear the program as a "loose garment" rather than a "suit of armor".

Love and Prayers to all .

Pierre


Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo.
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:32:57

Comments

Its getting crowded in here again. I'll see if I can squeeze in, though. I can relate to almost all of the above. I know how it feels when my ever-expanding universe(my ego) has limited space to work with(my skull) I usually keep a pin inside my Big Book, marked "use in case of emergency. I can understand were passion is often mistaken for inflated ego. That's okay in my book, as long as passion isn't forced on those less passionate. Sheez. I'm sicker than I thought. Does anybody know what its like to go swimming in my DNA pool?

I'd like to share something with anyone who'd like to listen, and I'll try to keep it short.

In the past, I use to dwell on things I had no business exploring. My Human weaknesses are still evident. The Glaring Character defects and shortcomings have been removed by the grace of God, but I still need to practice the steps in all my affairs.

I used to spend alot of time trying to figure out why I was weak, especially when it came to drinking.

Until I found that their was a power greater than myself, who was able to lift the compulsion of drinking from my life, I often spent hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to figure out how it all worked... why did it have to happen to poor ole'me?... how can I stay sober and enjoy life once again?

Here's the beauty part. Here's the brutal truth. If I had a nickle for every thought of me, I'd be richer than Bill Gates.

Until I was able to surrender out of self, by offering my will for God's will, only then, was I able to become brutally honest with myself.

There's a saying in AA for those, like myself, who had difficulty, at first. Get your body to meetings, the head will follow. Surrrender your will to God, and God will do for you what you were unable to do for yourself. God and the steps are the key to recovery for me. The people in the program are also important, but I have to remember that there is no human power greater than myself. Sounds selfish and egotistical, but its true, its true! What does that say?... especially when I first came around, and needed direction from others. Does it say that I shouldn't listen to those who have more wisdom?... no. Does it say that I should judge those with less wisdom?.... no. Does it say that I should keep the spirit of the fellowship in my heart, as much as humanly possible, and try to practice these priciples in all of my affairs?... yes. Does it say that I'm human, and that I sometimes forget how it works, and I should strive for spiritual growth, not self perfection?... yes, yes, yes. Does it say that God works through others, in and out of the program, and that if I eventually do all the footwork, I'll awaken spiritually, eventually experiencing a spitual awakening?... yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It all this and more. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. It's a simple program, but you need to follow instructions. I know I do.

DISCLAIMER: Remember that the following views are not necessarily the expressed views of this site, or the veiws of those who lurk here.

I think I'm staring to get it. There is hope after all, especially for a wretch like me.

Terri, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during your time of mourning.

God bless everyone

Yours in the fellowship

Jim R.


Member: Zane
Location: Gulf Coast
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:34:15

Comments

Art, how long did it take you to learn to act like an idiot, talk like a whore, and make a total ass of yourself? When your hangover passes, maybe you'll see how truly stupid you look to the new person.

I scare you that badly, huh?


Member: Kathy F
Location: Iowa
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 12:48:59

Comments

My name is Kathy and I am an alcholic and a drug addict.

Zane - I must say I partly agree with you. You said "the average newcomer has less than a 10% chance of recovery, as opposed to 75% when we began" I think the main cause of this is the simple fact that many people today come into AA before they have truely hit bottom. Many are forced into it by courts, family, and jobs. I agree though when you say that we keep telling them to "keep coming back" - back to what. I was lucky to find a sponsor who worked the steps by the big book and suggested that I do the same. I tell all newcomers if they want to stay sober they have to read the big book and follow these steps outlined in it. To me, the people at the meetings are just guides pointing to what I need to do and not do.

I don't like to tell people what to do... I tell them what I did. I first sobered up at 17. I got myself into a treatment center. At the time, I only wanted to stay off the booze and drugs until I was 21 - thinking then I'd be legal and wouldn't get into anymore trouble. Everyone told me I was an addict and an alcohlic although I never truely listened. I didn't make it til I was 21. A few months later I was back out using more and more and even hard things than before. That was when I realized that they were right. I may not have had as low a bottom to hit as many others around here, but to me I had hit my low. I went to meetings, but I was just doing the bare minimum. I relapsed several months later. Luckily, I was given another chance. This relapse showed me that 1/2 measures would avail me nothing - just as it states in How IT Works. I got me that good sponsor, and followed the big book. I have stayed clean and sober since then, I am still working with building that relationship with God - to me that is a never ending construction always adding floors. I know I would not be here today had I not worked the steps as the Big Book says, and continue to work the maintence steps everyday.

Teri - my prayers are with you.

To all the newcomers - this place if fun and a great help to many, but nothing can compare to a face to face meeting and working with a sponsor. Good luck to you.

Kathy F


Member: JCP<dixyflier@adelphia.net
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 13:00:06

Comments

J, a grateful alcoholic.

I sure don't see how cursing people could help anybody get sober, lest it was some kind of scheme to evoke a certain reaction.

Certainly, it is no way the way of AA literature or even meetings, where the next person through the door is as important as anyone there -- as important as Bill or Bob, as far as that goes.

No one can get the program in one meeting, and even if the namecallers were right in substance, everybody has a right to find their own way. No one can keep me sober, probably not you either.

So stick with the winners, and in the long run they are not going to be trying to give you a hard time, even for your own good, and not even the winners cam hand out sobriety as a door prize.

It's the one in the mirror that we have to give a chance to give us a chance.


Member: Paul B
Location: Leafland
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 13:03:01

Comments

Deanna, which story did you go with? One that you found described your own fears or one that said we are all afraid. I share your opinion that I had to find out what fear was but only through step four have I found just how afraid I was and how my fears and other self centered emotions controlled me and how unreasonable they can be. My point is that I can hear that people are afraid of a good many things, and identify with them, but do we know how to be rid of them. That is the work of the steps and the big book. I can wallow in self pity having identified with others or take action. The choice is mine.


Member: Dale S.
Location: California
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 13:43:33

Comments

I truly enjoyed the love feast it was truly refreshing. This is the way it works. Do the steps. I have truly enjoyed what Zane, Joe A, Brian, and Jrr have contributed recently. These are the type of guys I sobered up with. People with a passion for AA. Truth mixed with fallacies. Yes were human! We all make mistakes. So What is the solution? I asked this question once before and got twelve different answers each one sure he was right. Each on gave a solution based on what he perceived the problem to be. Oh yes by the way Sheryl thank you so much for the news about Teri. Teri we will be here for you when you come back to us. Now back to the solution. This time I am going to tell you all what the solution is but few of you will like it. It means self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings. Yes I know many of you have already done this and are now longer plagued with being an active alcoholic (still drinking or wanting to drink) The message I bring is for the still suffering alcoholic the one who just cant quit drinking. So many want to stop but cannot.

This is not truly my message I stole it from the Big Book. When AA'a carry the message of AA it mean they carry the message of the first 164 pages of Big Book which includes the Doctor's opinion and pages 569 and 570. We also carry our ESH (experience, strength, and hope) which can be equal to the importance of the message when helping the person still smarting from the pains of active alcoholism. Today AA is stronger, healthier, and helping more people than ever. At least that is the way I see it. Of course I am a pretty good mood today.


Member: Martina
Location:
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 13:58:47

Comments

Terri- so very sorry to hear about your Dad. This is a tough one. Hang in there.

Mary B VA -- it's good that you are sharing about how you are feeling. I would say to try not to isolate and practice an hour at a time while trying to change what you are able to in order to help ease your present situation. One thing for sure, if you drink, your situation will not only feel bad; it will be even worse than you feel it is now. Know that many, many of us (probably most of us) have been where you are at. Time and good choices will pay off eventually. Isolating will cause you to tell yourself lies and get yourself into a huge mess. Better to reach out. I wish you the best.

Suzanne in Witchita: remember that you can't control people places or things. You can only choose your response. And -- it's okay to feel indignant about being mistreated --- it's what you choose to do with that feeling that counts. (sharing it and then letting it go can help.) I often waste huge amounts of time and energy obsessing about how others act. It's not worth it and you end up giving them far too much power over you. Expectations of others are dangerous for an alcoholic.

I hope everyone has a nice week end. It's pretty great weather here in New England today. It's great to be sober to enjoy it.

Steve D in NJ ----- are you out there?


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 14:02:33

Comments

Paul I was merely responding to YOUR example of "Soapboxes." It took everyone's ES&H whether it was fear, resentment, self-pity, lust, etc. to hear someone describe me. WHEN I WALKED INTO AN AA ROOM I HAD LIVED A LIFE OF "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH." When I left that night, somebody did.

Deanna


Member: Kendra O.
Location: Jacksonville,FL
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 14:17:27

Comments

Hello everyone - my name is Kendra & I'm an alcoholic - I read the rules for first time visitors here - this computer is new for me so hopefully I'll get it right! :) I have been feeling like I reaaly needed to connect with other drunks recently - out of the blue the idea of drunks on line came to me - God is good. Thanks for being here and happy 2 yr. anniversary to the techies and all who make the site possible


Member: Herb W.
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 14:20:27

Comments

My name is Herb and I'm a very gratefull recovering alcoholic. I'm a member of the New Life Group that meets at the Florida State Prison, Starke, Fl on Tuesday nights. Have an inmate looking for AA pen pal in St. Pete area, any help will be much appreciated. God Bless...


Member: Yvonne
Location: Chicago
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 14:52:27

Comments

Hi everybody! Yvonne a recovering alcoholic.

Thanks JULIE from Jerusalem for the welcome back. My excuse is, a few months back the Coffee Pot just got too negative for me personally. I'd always come to it at the start of the day to let me remember who I was, and who I am today and how I got that way. On several occasions I was not getting any of that. A few people who had ventured out on their own to find new land, in this case, new sites, invited me to join. So now I had four or five sites to go to. Being that I check in from work I simply did not have the time (imagine!) to participate in all the sites, so I dropped off the Pot for awhile. A fairly regular Coffee Potter let me know about the 2 yr. anniversary, and thus I am back.

It's been an interesting week. I work for a very small company - five people, me included. For the past 7 mos. a relationship (friendship with a lust overtone), has developed with a male co-worker. We share a lot with each other about our lives. He knows I come from an alcoholic background and am alcoholic as well. He in my eyes, seemed to have the ideal life. Came from a functional, wealthy up bringing, has the nice house, car, perfect wife, etc. etc. In a recent conversation I told him that even tho' at times I'd wished my life had run that course, I probably would not be who I am today if I had not had my past. I feel fortunate being in recovery that I am able and willing to help others still suffering, not always specifically from alcoholism. It was then that he shared his dad was an alcoholic. Wow! In all honesty one part of me wanted to shout, "Ah! So you're not perfect!" Of course I didn't, and listened as he shared his very touching story about his childhood. I know better. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I don’t know why I go there – thinking sometimes others have been given such an easier path to follow.

JJJJJJJRRRRRRR!!! I will speak for my fellow Chicagolander "Hi".


Member: Art P.
Location: New Bern
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 14:53:24

Comments

Rextum: No you don't scare me, you disgust me. Get a life of your own.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: CC FL
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 15:14:53

Comments

'Afternoon ((CPers))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere!

It is so wonderful to feel "back in the fold" once again! Thanks Julie & Eric (sorry if I've missed somebody) for identifying with the Challenger story. Had another incredible thing happen yesterday - I learned to float on top of water yesterday! It was such a spiritual experience, to be able to let go and relax long enough & be able to really "hear" my 81 yr old friend explain how. I did it over & over again, crying, laughing hysterically, crying some more! I said a quick prayer just before trying to float, that "If I am able to float this time, it'll be God doing it for me" because I had never been able to float in my life!!! My friend said, "you've just never been taught how."

Well, my "teacher" in this lesson can barely talk herself, due to a recent stroke. But I understood her even as my ears were beneath the water & when I heard her say "palms up" I felt my body lifting with such bouyancy; then when my toes & legs were not sinking, as they usually always did, I was stunned & amazed and in awe! It was as if time stood still!!!

Teri, hope you get all our messages here (as well as those in FIR/Bimini through Sheryl).

Art, I've never seen you upset like this and it hurts to see you respond with such pain; but I understand. I've urged others here to hit the SCROLL BAR - I use it often.

Suzanne, good luck with making the transition between FL & KS. I recently moved from CA to FL, and what a culture shock this is (not so much f2f mtgs, just in general)! Could you find it within yourself to call the Central Office & lovingly tell the woman you are concerned for her and offer to help in any way you could? That would be a real indicator of an AA "willing to go to any lengths" - the topic of my Nooner today. BTW, I thanked everyone who was a smoker in attendance today at the non-smoking meeting, and told them that I was grateful they were going to that "any length" today, so that I could have a meeting to get to.

Well, I've babbled long enough, huh? Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Joe Allison
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 16:29:09

Comments

Hi, all you beautiful people. Joe Allison of Portland back again.

Heard at an AA meeting: When does an alcoholic reach his/her bottom? When he/she quits digging!

Here are two stories I have heard involving two different women:

The Maryland prison for women is located just a couple of miles from the Maryland House of Corruption (oops, Correction). While I was doing my time there, they tried a brief experiment that allowed women from the women's joint to come to the "Cut" (as it was called) to attend AA meetings there. At one of these, one woman told her story. One day, she was drunk and her small son started crying and nothing she did could make the kid stop crying, so she took the little boy down in the basement to her husband's workshop and put the boy's head in the vise and started squeezing and didn't stop until the child shut up. The reason why the crying stopped? The child was dead from a crushed skull.

When I was about six months "dry", I attended a Speaker's Meeting where a young woman was celebrating her fifth anniversary of sobriety. Until I heard her story, I thought I could not be surprised by anything. Wrong again! It seems that when she was 23 years old, she and her husband went out to dinner and cocktails. She had about three drinks and then they came home. While her husband took the baby sitter home, she put her six-month old baby to bed and forgot to kiss the baby good-night. She was at her first AA meeting the next night and had accumulated five years of sobriety when I heard her story.

Anyone can stop digging at any time. We do not need to try one-upsmanship in AA. My story is worse than your story, etc., ad nauseum. It is not necessary for everyone to get to the bottom that some of us have reached.

So, to the newcomer, may I suggest that you start to make amends to yourself by putting the plug in the jug and come around people who are living differently from those you may have been around before. Once again, to misquote an old Alka- Seltzer commercial: "Try it. You might like it!"

I'll end with a story I heard one time. It goes like this: A priest was talking to a little girl and asked, "Are you a beautiful human being?" "Yes," said the child. "How do you know?" "Because God made me and God doesn't make junk."

I liked that story when I heard it, and I like it even more with my own additions: IMO, God doesn't make junk and God doesn't make mistakes, and God makes no exceptions to the first two. Despite what you may have been led to believe about yourself, you are not junk, you are not a mistake and you are not an exception. You are a beautiful human being (or at least have the potential to become a beautiful human being).

"I'm a no-good piece of garbage." That, to me, is typical of the type of thinking talked about in the Fifth Chapter of the BB when it says, "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go ab-so-lute-ly! (Emphasis mine, of course!)

In this posting, I have expressed several ideas of mine. Can any of these things be right? Hmmmm, I wonder!

I believe that God loves you and me and all of His/Her/Its other children. Personally, I can not think of any way that I can improve on God's Will, so I'll just tag along and say "Amen".

Joe Allison of Portland


Member: Franko
Location:
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 17:12:28

Comments

Zane if you are still here after you have been RECOVERED for five years, you will certainly be a whiz. I wonder how many new people you have scarred away this time.


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 17:58:30

Comments

JOE A: Keep sharing buddy. It's the sicko's who are afraid; they can't deal with honest sharing yet. Hopefully with TIME, they'll get better.

I didn't agree with you either about making amends to oneself being the ONLY thing AA is about. However, if I use the BB definition of "amends": "repair the damage done in the past", then it makes more sense to me. I was one of those who put myself on all my lists. I had damaged myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I had to repair the damage done to myself otherwise I wouldn't be much good to myself or anyone else. One of the ways I did that was to make amends to those I had harmed. IMO, the only way making amends to others is worthwhile is if it's done with the sincere desire to repair the damage done to them. However, it seems I usually got much more out of it than the other people did. Certainly everyone benefitted.

I don't see anything selfish about getting myself into a fit condition mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's a responsibility I have to myself and to those around me. What good am I to my family, friends, and coworkers if I'm a mess?

I love the following analogy, which I've used here before, usually in the context of getting sober for oneself vs. getting sober for someone else (ususally wife, kids, etc.):

During the safety briefing before takeoff on an airplane, the flight attendant will announce that if the cabin loses pressure and the oxygen masks are deployed, those travelling with a child should put their own masks on first and then help the child. It needs to be said because most people will instinctively come to the aid of the child first. However, the adult might well lose consciousness while struggling to put an oxygen mask on a panicky child. Then both will die. However, if the adult calmly puts on the mask first, then he or she is in a position to assist the child. Both live. So the act of putting on one's mask before helping the child isn't selfish at all, quite to the contrary.

I see recovery similarly. I am responsible for getting well; no one can do it for me. Only when I'm well can I be of service to others.

ART: Give 'im hell!

JULIE: Now you won't have to put my photo on a milk carton.

BRIAN: A special "hello" to you too.

Peace & Serenity


Member: Steve E
Location: UK
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 18:16:07

Comments

Zane,

I find you truly frightening and disturbing. You are one of the few on this site who make it so unpalatable.I suspect you will be proud about that. Fanatics, faschists, frenzied people have a love for whipping up emotions. Yours is in the diguise of love and help, but it is a thin veneer. It seems to me that your self-opionated stance, put over in your zealousness in protecting the Big Book, holds no bounds and is to protect yourself, from your own fear. Are you happy, dear? 3 years sober and attacking the experience of those with up to 30 years. How sad!

Your "lesson to the newcomer" sermon is inappropriate. What is a "newcomer" anyway; one who is new to the program or one who has not achieved sobriety, the latter defined by whom?

I have dipped in and out of this program for many years, so let's regard me as still a newcomer. Have not to grips with its finer points, perhaps other postings of people like Joe and Brian, and others who have shared with me about depression (thanks to you all, it was really appreciated) than your pontificating. I, personally, find the spiritual thing and the concept of a Higher Power rather difficult. That is me. Obviously you do not, because the Higher Power is Zane.

Yes, the scroll bar is wonderful. I do not have to respond. But your name fits you if we submit a "Y" on the end of Zan.

You talked about phiposophizing, Zane. You do not do that, you preach. Someome said that your remarks were combative. I think that is polite. Many are nasty and destructive.

But, I suspect that this is what you want to hear. Most people on this site, from what I have read, are really encouraging and supportive. It only takes a few like you to bring it into disrepute and the accusations of nastiness.

Do you manage to have friends in the real, non- cyber world, Zane? Or is this parody of the real world your chance to live in it?

Sorry, to everyone else. Joe Allison, thought your sharing was really good. Thanks, Brian too. And to every one else who responded to my long postings about depression. I am not over the hill yet, but this helps me - mainly. Sorry, if I have sounded angry. IMOP zealots, of what ever persuasion, have ruined the world.

I cannot share a God with you. I simply do not know one, and I mean that humbly, respect you for believing and wish I did.

But I wish the world well,and you too Zane!

Love

Steve


Member: SAILANA
Location: JERSEY
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 18:19:45

Comments

My name is Sailana and I am an addict meaning I am addicted to alcohol, compulsive behavior, and overall just a total screwup from Jersey.

I have a question for this forum:

Why are some people posting such total bullshit one day and the next day are not even remembered as being confrontational (because they have friends on the inside?)

I met a very nice woman on here who has been cut down numerous times she has shared, she sent me emails to her (from folks like bunny rabbit/connie st lo) who have sent hate mail but post on here as if they are angels.

Connie - even admitting on here she used this lady's name in a post so others would think my friend was the bad one ...but did this woman get any sympathy or reassurance from anyone on here. NO Connie got the proverbial pat on the back. Did anyone offer my friend sympathy that she was attacked?

Sheryl, a continued user who surprisingly has a job where she can take off whenever she desires to go state to state and get drunk on Saturdays yet is in a profession of being a caretaker of the critically ill? From a waitress to a nurse in less than a few weeks. Eh?

Deanna, someone new in recovery with all the answers who feels her little toes are stepped on when an oldtimer points at her because maybe he sees her facade? We do not come here knowing it all and having the wisdom we learn through working the steps. We do a thorough 5th steps and admit we are to blame!!!

This is not a game folks, geeting sober, working THE program of AA is a life saver whether yours or mine or someone else. Why do we want to push a person to the point of 'crying out in pain' in order to feel the power our words have done!!!

My hat is off to the likes of Zane who atleast has some knowledge of a program and is willing to share. I have no interest in listening to a newcomer profess they have 'an individual program' working for them.....THIS IS A WE PROGRAM.....Newcomers this is a serious life or death situation.... get drunk tonight or Saturday night and it just may be the last drunk you will ever have.....................and you may become DEAD! but of course you will still have your 'I know it all attitude.'

WE STAY SOBER I GET DRUNK DUH!

For anyone wanting to confront me privately: sailana@yahoo.com

DO NOT BE SUCH A COWARD POST TO ME NOT THE POT!

Today may be the last day of the rest of your life! Will you leave this world having left something memorable and good or just something not worth looking at but just some manure someone pushed to the side of the road.


Member: Lindsay  O.
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 18:22:09

Comments

Special message to Gene Z. if you see this call Lindsay O. A.S.A.P. I had my operation on my knee yesterday. It was a success. i had an operation for a miniscus tear. It turns out that there were 2 tears in there and the doctor after much ado and getting me ready for the procedure just went in and snipped off the tears. i didn't walk out of the hospital like they claimed I would. If anyone is going in for knee surgery and they tell you you will walk out be skeptical. I rode out and am still on crutches. But the worst is over. I am at home resting comfortably.


Member: Steve E
Location: UK
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 18:27:23

Comments

Zane,

I find you truly frightening and disturbing. You are one of the few on this site who make it so unpalatable.I suspect you will be proud about that. Fanatics, faschists, frenzied people have a love for whipping up emotions. Yours is in the diguise of love and help, but it is a thin veneer. It seems to me that your self-opionated stance, put over in your zealousness in protecting the Big Book, holds no bounds and is to protect yourself, from your own fear. Are you happy, dear? 3 years sober and attacking the experience of those with up to 30 years. How sad!

Your "lesson to the newcomer" sermon is inappropriate. What is a "newcomer" anyway; one who is new to the program or one who has not achieved sobriety, the latter defined by whom?

I have dipped in and out of this program for many years, so let's regard me as still a newcomer. Have not to grips with its finer points, perhaps other postings of people like Joe and Brian, and others who have shared with me about depression (thanks to you all, it was really appreciated) than your pontificating. I, personally, find the spiritual thing and the concept of a Higher Power rather difficult. That is me. Obviously you do not, because the Higher Power is Zane.

Yes, the scroll bar is wonderful. I do not have to respond. But your name fits you if we submit a "Y" on the end of Zan.

You talked about phiposophizing, Zane. You do not do that, you preach. Someome said that your remarks were combative. I think that is polite. Many are nasty and destructive.

But, I suspect that this is what you want to hear. Most people on this site, from what I have read, are really encouraging and supportive. It only takes a few like you to bring it into disrepute and the accusations of nastiness.

Do you manage to have friends in the real, non- cyber world, Zane? Or is this parody of the real world your chance to live in it?

Sorry, to everyone else. Joe Allison, thought your sharing was really good. Thanks, Brian too. And to every one else who responded to my long postings about depression. I am not over the hill yet, but this helps me - mainly. Sorry, if I have sounded angry. IMOP zealots, of what ever persuasion, have ruined the world.

I cannot share a God with you. I simply do not know one, and I mean that humbly, respect you for believing and wish I did.

But I wish the world well,and you too Zane!

Love

Steve


Member: Bart B.
Location: In your face
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 18:40:05

Comments

You all a bunch of Weirdos and Freaks acting as if not drinking in some big damn deal. Sort of like a cowboy bragging he cant ride because he's got hemorrhoids.


Member: Sam S (female(
Location: kansas
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 19:03:38

Comments

Hi all!!!!

Suzanne E.(wichita),.......Hey I'm assuming that you mean wichita, kansas. If so, I live 60 miles north of wichita in McPherson, kansas. Email me as I know of a good meeting place near wichita that is alot of fun. Welcome to cyberspace. contact me: schulz@midusa.net


Member: Sailana
Location: Jersey
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 19:07:09

Comments

Steve;

You my dear are not willing to go to any length to stay sober or you would not be so willing to 'condemn' a person with 'good quality time' such as Zane.

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to give in to the program and actually do what the others suggest rather that try to do it 'your way'.

You may be one of the unfortunates who because of us with a terminal mental illnes who will never "GET IT".....

Keep Trying and give in to the likes of Zane and others who are trying.


Member: Honesty is Lost
Location: on the Coffeepot
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 19:20:04

Comments

Do unto others before they do it to us Step on the people who look INTO the puss.

Give em hell boys before someone looks at us We aint one of them we dont scream and cuss.

Step over bodies (stomp em down good) Forget we came from the same kinda hood.

We are grand and glorious..have the right words to say.. We know all the bullshit and can give it away.

Folks like the rabbit who hop along the trail Leave a little bit of shit as they try to sail. ********** STOP Be a friend today, A kind word aint hard to say, Give it to the higher power, give up the ghost, Stop right here, no longer try to boast! ************* quit bein a phony talkin baloney get honest and true look for happiness so true get off your highhorse and be willin to learn or else your soul in hell will burn!


Member: Camo
Location:
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 20:01:39

Comments

Hi Y'all!

Teri, our thoughts and prayers are with you. It is never easy to lose someone close to us. But God won't give you more of a burden than he will help you handle. Wish there was something I could say to help but I've benn there and I know there isn't. Hang in there.


Member: Gina
Location: NY
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 20:59:50

Comments

I've seen it here before and it bears repeating. The diagnosis for the crap spread by St. Zane, Jennifer, jrr and a few others is untreated alcoholism. Their "recovered" states in no way resemble the serenity I have in my recovery.


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 21:29:23

Comments

I'm curious as to how someone who has never posted on here )that I know of) can come in here and start spouting such ludicrous bullshit?

Is it because it didn't take a relapse for some of us "get it?" Yes, I'm a newcomer. Yes, I post what I have learned. No, I didn't and don't anymore feel like people are stepping on my toes. NEWSFLASH: I can't start out an oldtimer, but I am not gonna be a newcomer forever. I also don't take others inventory based on their length of sobriety.

It was nice while it lasted.

Deanna Facades Anonymous


Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 21:35:01

Comments

Evening friends, Bill, alcoholic. Teri F my condolences. When my father left us all I did was have another drink. When my mother left I was sober and stayed that way through much difficulty. Julie, Jerusalem, we have a Paris in Ontario too. Mary B, I was having problems too and went to a financial advisor for help. The Big Book also says that but honestly speaking to a bank manager we can also be aided. What ever you do I hope that you find the nececary help. Enough has been said about forgiving ourselves but keeping Tradition one in mind I find that my personal well being will be of benefit others. I like the analgy about the caution the flight attendant is an excrellent one.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake.. waiting to send the Leafs packing.. lol
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 21:50:31

Comments

gina.. thanks for grouping in me in such lovely company.. not only that.. but dear friends of mine.. bless you.


Member: JCP<dixyflier@usa.net
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 21:52:53

Comments

J, a grateful alcoholic,

"If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison." (From How It Works.)

Among the more persistently memorable lines out of the box when I was sitting there drinking with nowhere to go but down, went like: "Who dooo, who do you think you're foooolin'?"

We share our experience, strength and hope -- and it is difficult to imagine how any one such share or source could ever be sufficient, but this latter definitely is not what AA is about. It is the many sharings -- usually and hopefully of quite different people who have walked our way and found the way back.

Anybody can put a search in the lit on "curmudgeon," to see if it is there, but I think the time might be better spent sharing what we actually have -- even if it seems not enough, each of us is not the only source available to anyone.


Member: JOHN MC
Location: U.K.
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 22:04:31

Comments

Art. P. has 22yrs+, Joe. A. has 28 yrs, Brian. B. has 3 decades. Brians' 100% sober, wow. Yet along comes Zane with a miserable 3 yrs, and boy does he really rattle your cages, l wonder why! Only last week Brian was disgustingly abused, did it meet with wholesale condemnation, nope! l wonder why?! Perhaps l could suggest that you all do a Step 10 on that and post back the results! "Do you think they will John". "Nope". l wonder why!? Because they don't have a programme! They don't know how to do it! The fact is Zane they can't get to your level, so they try to drag you down to there's, that's human nature. l think they call it shooting the messenger. You're in exalted company my friend!? "God give us the gift to see us, the way that other people see us"! Step 4 gives us the gift that Rabbie (Burns) talks about. " Whosoever mitigates the woes or increases the happiness of others, this is my criteria for goodness". Those virues that Rabbie alludes to can be achieved by practicing Steps 10 & 11 on a dayly basis. Try it. You'll be amazed. Back to the drawing board for the oldtimers! So Art, Joe, Brian, do your Step 10 on your recent posts and let us !young! upstarts learn from your example, l think it's called passing the message?! You are responsible! Quit talking and start walking. l 'challenge' the 3 of you to let us know the results of your Step 10's. P.S. Brian: Could l have your definition of Q.E.D.


Member: CHERISE L.
Location: PA
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 22:34:05

Comments

Happy Birthday SC,

My name is Cherise and I'm an alcoholic.

It is feels wonderful to read all the reflections of everybody. I would like to thank Avril for sharing about the beginning days. She asked what happened to some of us who started the site. I am ashamed to say I haven't shared for a long time, but do still read. As of Sept.5, 1998, Cherise D is now Cherise L. after marrying our wonderful Tech Barry L. Like Tim G. we are also expecting a new baby in August. While my husband works so hard with Tim to keep this site going, I am raising our 4 year old, but luckily Barry keeps me uop to date on the site.

I am so grateful that we all made the decision to go Worldwide, and see how incredible this site has become. It truly is carrying the message to people all over the world. How incredible!!!!!!!!!!!

I was glad to be a part of it, and hope I can find some time to share a little more. (Maybe after the baby's born).

I want to thank you all for passing on your experience, stregnth and hope with me, and I hope this site continues to grow.

IT REALLY WORKS!!!!!!!!

LOVE TO ALL.......


Member: Barry L.
Location: PA
Date: 28 May 1999
Time: 22:43:09

Comments

Hi I'm Barry and I'm an alcoholic, It has been a very interesting week on the Coffee Pot, alot of good sharing, most of it positive. I am truly amazed at the number of people who have participated in Staying Cyber in the last 2 years. Some have come and gone. Some have come and won't leave.

I have often wondered if this site was carrying "The Message of AA" What is The Message?

Quote from 12 and 12, pages 150-151 "Just as firmly bound by obligation are the members of Alcoholics Anonymous, who have demonstrated that they can help problem drinkers as others seldom can. The unique ability of each A. A. to identify himself with, and bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning eloquence, or on any special individual skills. The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety." End Quote.

It says A KEY TO SOBRIETY, nothing more. Our fellowship works because we were hopeless drunks who found ways to stop, each one a little different from the next, but mostly based on some SUGGESTED Spiritual principles. We as individuals share our experience on how we did it and eventually, someone with a story similar to ours identifies with us, and has reached that point where they want to stop, and they say tell me how you did it, and hopefully they stop as well.

I was around the rooms for 12 or 13 years, I could never Identify with anyone, steppers, bigbookers, innerchilders, yougottapraytojesusers, until I hit MY bottom, got to that point described in the Big Book " He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end." Only then was I able to hear and start acting on any message, I love the Big Book and The 12 and 12, they are both instrumental in my Sobriety. I am not going to tell anyone you have to do it this way, all I can say is this is how I did it, it is their choice from that point.

I remember the day Eileen came to this site, and she has over a year sober now. There have been others also, that is a miracle. So I would have to say YES WE ARE CARRYING THE MESSAGE. A thousand different versions of it for a thousand different drunks looking for a way out of HELL.


Member: Jennifer Page
Location: Gulf Coast
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 00:09:11

Comments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COFFEE POT! And thank you techs!

TERRI: Very sorry to hear of your dad's passing away. My prayers are with you. Lots of love to you and your family.

JIM R. and SANDERS: Glad you are back!

Welcome newcomers to AA and to this site.

DR. GINA: Bad news. Once again, your "diagnosis" of me is incorrect. Good luck in your practice. The Message I carry is how I got well, recovered from being a hopeless drunk, and found God in the process. I got it from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you have a problem with that, then you are the problem.

JOE ALLISON: Thank you, thank you for your post about the two women with such diverse stories. Very thought provoking. Also, one of your posts last week reminded me of something I read on a sugar packet once: "If you don't get everything you want, think about the things you don't get that you don't want."

God's Blessings to all of you.


Member: tim
Location: WA
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 00:30:46

Comments

hey great to be alive!


Member: Kerry B.    3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 00:39:23

Comments

I just realized in the past few days something that I feel is very true.

The spoken word cannot erase the words printed in the Big Book.

I have witnessed all kinds of people, from all walks of life, with all kinds of different experiences say all kinds of stuff about the program of AA as written in the Big Book. Whether your hands are dirty or clean that are holding that book, the words are the same and have the same meaning to the person attached to those hands.

I have gone from trying to save every newcomer that walks through that door from hearing something I THINK is not RIGHT in the meetings (meaning really trying to CONTROL all the people in the damn room), to realizing that it is only my business to share my story (for identification purposes only)in the hopes of getting the attention of the still suffering alcoholic, so that I may give that person a Big Book to read. That is where I found my answer to my alcoholism.


Member: Art P.
Location: New Bern
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 01:08:43

Comments

John Mc I'm glad that you mentioned step 10. If and when I'm wrong; I will admit it.

What level were you talking about? I was in the gutter when I spoke about Rextum and still could see him beneath me. lol! (Maybe if he stood on your broad shoulders?) And for the record. You and him couldn't make a pimple on my ass. How's that for humilty???

But you have supposed something about me that isn't fact. I am not recovered! I just don't drink, and deal with life as best I can on a daily basis. Oh, yes I practice the steps too. But like you I'm still a lunitic and I know it. You, on the other hand are a hapless bastard who thinks he's sane, just like Rectum who you defend. Your another who seems to be good at jumping on someone who is trying to deal with life and shares their humaness with us. Yet in reading your posts I see a person who is full of fear and resentment. You can't bullshit a bullshitter pal! Stick to your big book, it seems to have served you well. Like I used to tell my guys on the job: if I want any shit I'll call you. And you come slideing.

But I will apologise to others on the pot for my tone. Sorry. But like I said, I'm still a sick bastard and never had those social skills to watch as innocent people are torn apart by self proclaimed guru's. They pick on people for posting about the simple joys of watching puppys learning to be house broken, and people who share their own opioin. And go into endless diatribes, and sermons.

So when I get it up to my eyeballs, I have to step up and say in no uncertain terms.... your full of shit. Please don't think that I do so because I sit faceless behind a computer screen. Any one who knows me, knows what you see is what you get. And I don't, and never did have a problem telling people whats on my mind. To my credit, I did practice restraint of tongue and pen...but then my vision got blurred. (Patient progress.....)

I hope that we get back to being civil, and carry our ES&H to the suffering alcoholic, and stop slamming people who are doing the best they can with what they have.

God bless all us sick puppy/ette's


Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 01:14:43

Comments

Barry, I must say, you are a class act. Thanks for your post.

It always amazes me how we sometimes find a nitch in this program, so to speak, and want to shout to the hills about how it works. That's not a bad thing really. A step in the right direction. But one thing I learned early on in my sobriety, and I only speak for myself, is that my key to sobriety won't fit your door to recovery. I like to say that we all live in the same building, but reside in different rooms. And of course to add more corn to an already over-stated metaphor... Hp's the Super.

I was at a meeting with an old friend in the program the other day. The meeting we attended had a alot of men and women with many years of sobriety, and of course, many with little sobriety... all different... A doctor, a truckdriver, a software specialist, a painter, a general contractor, some housewives (sorry ladies, I meant residential specialist), an Electrician, a priest, a carwash attendant, a Locksmith -- the list of this unlikely social gathering goes on and on.

After hearing a guy speak for the first time, a guy, BTW who works it a little different than most of us, and was subject to alot of behind-his-back-scrutiny during the past year... My friend turned to me and said simply... aint it amazing what not picking up that first drink can do for a person. We both laughed out loud, and shook our heads in amazement.

I felt real happy for the guy speaking, cause I remember what he looked like when he first came around. He did a fine job speaking... Started out a little shacky, but his spirit got stronger with every sentence. His message was about fellowship and how it helped him in sobriety. There were people in that room who had constantly bad-mouthed the guy since he showed up about a year ago, and he knew they were bad-mouthing him beacuase he had a different approach. He stood up there and spoke of gratitude for the very people who didn't like the way he was working his program. You could of heard a pin drop. It was great. Just goes to show you, once we think one way is the best way, sombody does it differently... that bothers some people. The results, if one wants them, are the same, though... A daily reprieve from alcohol.

You guys have a great weekend. the weathers great in most of the states, happy memorial day weekend to all.

yours in the fellowship

Jim R.

P.S. hey, SoberChef... I'm going to smoke some Canadian Pork Loin over some applewood and serve it with an apricot chutney. The side dishes will be grilled fingerling potato salad, and roasted corn ratatoullie.... ummmmmgooood. What are you having? same ole' same ole'? wieners and beans? LOLFU2LOL Ha ha ha he he he. When's your nuptuals taking place? need a good caterer? $250 an hour will get you the best chef I know...........me, of course. later

Chefturd


Member: Sheryl
Location: Ohio
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 02:06:52

Comments

Sailana.. if you want to critize me at least get your facts straight first.. f2f meeting (with me not aa) would also be appreciated. Cause at least where your info on me is concerned you have no clue what you are talking about.

Looks like I am gonna be here for a bit. I am not sure at this point how long. But everytime I break out all the arguements as to why not...I get told "bullshit". I think after the 10th or 12th person told me this, along with some other things that have happened that keep getting refered to as "god doing for me..." I stopped argueing. It is gonna suck..at least all the fallout as a result of me being here for a while..unfortunately, so does going back. The proverbial rock and a hard place.

As a friend of mine has said.. Ive just run out of plans.

Try not to kill each other guys.. geez.. ( I know, mind my own beeswax).

Peace


Member: ..
Location:
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 04:09:07

Comments

Sailana - or perhaps - analiaS

as in "an alias"


Member: Ott
Location: Iceland
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 05:29:09

Comments

Hi you all Ott ALKIE here. Im here at last. Happy anaversety for STAYING CYBER. And happy birthday for you all. Im fealing fine and Im fealing SOBER. Im been working in a other fjrd. So I can only read this great site on week ends. Its a great thing to wake up early on a saturday morning and be able to meet a lot of AA people on the PC. Ive been working long days ,but its an exsiting work Im working at. Nice to have you here in reach for my alkaholik soul to be nursed. I need friends like I see on this site. But when I come home for the weekends I dont like to be wondering around meeting my friends, I want to be with my lovely family, so you can see how wonderful it is to have a site like this.Im with my family and also I can meet you in the next room. My best whises toyou all. Mouse hell Vala og Venni komi i sl og blessu. Lots of hugs and love A SOBER ALKAHOLIK Ott on Iceland


Member: Teri F.
Location: Marion, Ohio
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 05:37:30

Comments

Good morning.

Just wanted to take a minute to thank you all. This has been the most difficult thing I have had to deal with in sobriety. I loved my Dad dearly. His health has been very poor for quite awhile. Through all the surgeries and all the pain and suffering he had to endure, he showed incredible courage and strength. He loved life and lived it to the fullest. He was my hero. Several years ago when he had the first of what was to be numerous heart surgeries, he had a near death experience. He shared that with me afterwards and told me that after seeing what was on the otherside, death was nothing to fear. I think that is why he was able to accept the multiple health problems he had and was always able to comfort us when we were afraid for him and hurt for him.

His death was very difficult, but we were able to be with him and surround him with love. My brother and I were able to hold him and love him as he died, just the way he held and loved us through so many things in our lives. I'm so grateful to God, Alcoholics Anonymous, and you all for my sobriety. If I wasn't sober, I wouldn't have been able to be there for my Dad.

My Dad had very strong feelings about not wanting a funeral, and was adamant about not being buried. He is being cremated, and my brother and uncles are going to scatter his ashes at one of the last places he went hunting. He just wanted to be free. Tomorrow we are having a special gathering at my home with family and friends to honor his life.

Again, thank you all for your emails and messages. You will never know how much your love and concern have meant to me. It has been a tremenous source of comfort, and your kind words and prayers help ease the pain. I have an absolutely wonderful AA family here too. They have been here for me through this all and I know for a fact I never would have been able to make it without their love and support.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. God bless each and every one of you.

Much love and hugs to all..............


Member: Zane
Location: Dunedin
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 05:39:07

Comments

Art, I usually don't sponsor folks who are in such dire condition until they get their meds levelled off, but in your case the need is so extreme that I will make an exception just this once. Drop me a line, okay?

Gina, I am amazed that you can judge me without knowing me at all, and that your working of the principles behind the steps enables you to be God. That's neat. How do you do it? Psychic Friends Network?

John Mc: Can you please take some of my slack, brother? I have far too many using me as their Higher Power. Yes, you betcha....anyone who tells it like it is frightens folks who wear masks.

Steve put it well, "I find you frightening..." Well, Steve, there is good news! You can learn to live beyond that fear by working the program called the 12 Steps. Since you are new to the fellowship, as is apparent from your judgmental post, I can only tell you that getting a sponsor may help you.

Art, one more thing: I do believe it was YOU who attacked me. I never attack a person, Art, but I do challenge ideas, especially those that are contrary to A.A. philosophy. And as far as getting a life of my own....Hey man, you are the one who came out of the woodwork, acting like an escaped deranged mental patient because you got so scared you had to attack, since you don't have any other plan. Do the nurses know you are playing with their computer?

JRR, congrats. I heard some good news about you. Best wishes. Hey buddy, can you light a candle and throw one up to the Big Guy for Art? I think a prayer circle is in order.

Me? Well, I am sitting here wondering how I managed to overcome the sanity of sixty years worth of "old timer...ahem...sobriety" in one fell swoop by telling it like it is.


Member: Cherise L.
Location: PA
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 08:12:39

Comments

HELLO ALL

JUST AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT ON MAY 28, 1999 OUR TECH TIM G'S SECOND BABY HAS ARRIVED.

HIS NAME IS ALEXANDER VINCENT

8LBS 4oz

I would like to congratulate Tim and his family and wish them the best of Luck.


Member: Sailana
Location:
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 11:14:18

Comments

Origin of my name: SAILANA

Given to me by my father who loved and worked as a sailor all his life and he when he died his wish to go once again to sea was fulfilled.

Sail -- to move smoothly and with dignity, like a ship in full sail.

Ana -- in memory of my great grandmother who my father admired.


Member: tommy
Location: Sweden
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 12:13:28

Comments

happy birthday C.P.

Thanks for the initiative. Could not help smiling at a U.S.A.-phenomena when I read the techs message at the start of this site. Why are you so impressed by everything that is biggest in the world? Biggest house, biggest car, biggest shopping-mall, biggest this , biggest that and now biggest sobriety-chat. Do things get better if they are bigger or even better BIGGEST? I dont understand. Recovering greetings


Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 12:52:55

Comments

Dear Teri,

Yhe passing of your father makes me think of my living father who has also had extensive heart surgery and illness in his later years. He's doing exceptionally well these days and is enjoying his new lease on life. We were never extremely close, but he always put our family first, no matter what. I think of all those difficult years he spent working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week to raise our family of 5 boys and two girls, sacrificing all the time.

Today, he has been blessed with 21 grandchildren, and spends most of his time participating in all our lives.

I'm truly sorry to hear of your fathers passing. I will think of your father, you, and your family often this weekend, thanking God for putting people in our lives who really love us unconditionally. We are truely blessed for that.


Member: JoanW
Location: Upstate NY
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 13:35:36

Comments

Hi Everyone;

I am an alcoholic; my name is Joan.

Congradulations ((Staying Cyber))!! Those hugs are meant for the Techs, who work so hard to keep this cite up and running, the original members who started this site, and all who post here, regularly or infrequently, as I do. I have been on computer now, for about four months, and this remains one of my favorite sites. It was the first site I visited, the first time I was online, and I marvelled then and marvel now that I can sit in my living room and read the ES $ H of folks from all over the world, every walk of life and such varied lengths of recovery. My sobriety has been enriched by the experience of this site, and I thank you all for that.

Teri, my heartfelt sympathy goes out to you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. What a gift you have given to your father; a sober daughter who was there to help him on his journey toward the Light. God Bless you.

Love, Joan


Member: Michael O
Location: NH
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 14:45:15

Comments

To Lindsay O

I feel that you made a big mistake by not giving me and our marriage the chance I felt it diserved, I feel used, You had Gene removed and wanted me back so you wouldn't be alone through your surgery.

Even though I don't like your decision and feel its the wrong one, I respect your choise to do what you feel is right with your life.

I will get on with my life without you and use my program and my higher power to help me deal with the pain of loosing you from my life.

I'm just amaized because only yesterday you said that you realized that a relationship with Gene just would not last. And now you have made it impossable for us to ever have any kind of relationship in the future by your impulsive behavior which we discused at length recently.

I now wish you the best of luck in your new life and hope that you find the true happyness you are looking for. I still feel that you might have been able to have it with me but you felt differently and I must except that.

I will always love you, miss you and pray for you every day. But now I must say my final good-bye to you my love.

May GOD always be with you. Michael


Member: Michael O
Location: NH
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 14:48:23

Comments

To Lindsay O

I feel that you made a big mistake by not giving me and our marriage the chance I felt it diserved, I feel used, You had Gene removed and wanted me back so you wouldn't be alone through your surgery.

Even though I don't like your decision and feel its the wrong one, I respect your choise to do what you feel is right with your life.

I will get on with my life without you and use my program and my higher power to help me deal with the pain of loosing you from my life.

I'm just amaized because only yesterday you said that you realized that a relationship with Gene just would not last. And now you have made it impossable for us to ever have any kind of relationship in the future by your impulsive behavior which we discused at length recently.

I now wish you the best of luck in your new life and hope that you find the true happyness you are looking for. I still feel that you might have been able to have it with me but you felt differently and I must except that.

I will always love you, miss you and pray for you every day. But now I must say my final good-bye to you my love.

May GOD always be with you. Michael


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 15:12:00

Comments

Deanna here, alcoholic.

What a wonderful day to be sober!

Bright and sunny here in Texas. Had lots of rain in the last couple of days.

Did alot of crying this morning at my meeting after my meeting. Got to a point in my 4th step that was just too painful to handle and the tears came. God has taken this fear from me now and I can go on. That is the wonderful part of this program. I can strive to sit in my own shit and work really hard to stay there or I can hand it over to my HP, asking him to guide me through this step and live. The latter is certainly the easier, softer way for me.

Thank you all for being here for me. Have a great sober day!

Deanna


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 15:15:58

Comments

It's impossible to completely separate the message from the messenger.

ZANE, suggest you start working on the messenger rather than trying to carry a message you clearly don't fully comprehend. You obviously are not sharing your 10th Step inventories with anyone, else they'd have set you straight by now. For example, in your last post you stated: "I never attack a person...but I do challenge ideas..." Really? How about the days worth of mocking and ridicule you laid on Sanders? How about the unprovoked ad hominem attack on Joe A - who has shared some wonderful stuff here - simply because you disagreed with one of his ideas?

You sound like you work the 12 Steps as a bureaucrat would, elevating process over results. The Steps aren't Boy Scout merit badges to be earned; they're a way of life. I think you're missing the forest for the trees. The operation may have been a success but the patient is dying. (Please excuse all the cliches.)

There is no "rigorous honesty" Step, but without it not much benefit can be gained from working the 12 Steps we do have. Please go back over your last few posts objectively and honestly decide whether they were written by someone who knows serenity? By someone who is humble? Please honestly assess whether you are EFFECTIVELY carrying the message or just beating people over the head with it. You have talked about how you have worked all the Steps, but did you do so EFFECTIVELY? How could you have completed Step 5, yet be so lacking in compassion? How could you have completed Step 7, yet be so devoid of humility? How could you have completed Step 9 in a matter of days? Did you earn back the trust of those you had abused in a matter of days? Did you repair all the other damaged relationships you left in your wake in a matter of days? I can't see how. Maybe that's why it's obvious to just about everyone but yourself that the Promises haven't come true in your life yet.

I fully expect you to react to this post with the same bitterness, denials, sarcasm, insults, rationalizations, and general hostility that you so frequently display toward others. That's OK, it won't hurt me, but I think it's hurting you. Your zeal, passion, and commitment are admirable, but they may be preventing you from taking a hard look at yourself. Please do so with the help of a sponsor, for your sake and ours.

Peace & Serenity


Member: EDWARD D.
Location: SAN LUIS OBISPO CA
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 15:31:07

Comments

Hi, my name is Edward and i'm a alcoholic, i'm new on the computer. I call myself a real alcoholic because I didn't quit drinking for people ,property, prestiege,nor did I quit because another human being died as a result of my drinking. I quit because I filled EVERY cell and membraine of my body, and my body WOULD NOT ACCEPT another drop, I put it in it came back out as quickly as I put it in. I turned myself in to a detox center,22 days later I woke up in a VA hospital in the ICU. I went through their pilot program. Nobody at the VA would tell me what the initals N.H.S. on my medical folder stood for. Many years later a VA doctor told me it stands for NO HOPE SENAREIO. (sp) I've been sober for over 16 years, this 12 step program has enabled me to live life on lifes terms, Ive walked through it all death of family and dear friends,from wealth to being homeless and destitute, marriage and divorce, this last week the VA did a psa test to check for cancer,and told me I get the results next month. The phone rang yesterday, and they want me there this next week. I've felt very ill for quite a while now. I'm home bound quite a bit of the time,and it is difficult to get to meetings . A dear friend just got a new 500mz unit and she showed up here and she just gave me this computer , she set it up for me and put me online so I could go to cyber meetings when i couldn't get to a regular meetings!!! I would love to talk to other alcoholics. My e-mail address is GR88TFUL1@cwix.com. LOL READ THE BIG BOOK, GO TO MEETINGS, AND DON'T DRINK INBETWEEN MEETINGS NO MATTER WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 15:58:09

Comments

Geri W, a very grateful alcoholic here. Hi folks.

Larry, thank you. You said all that I feel about Zane's posts.

Zane, you were wondering " overcome the sanity of sixty years of "old timer...ahem...sobriety in one fell swoop"..

. Larry just explained why you got the reactions that you did. The ...ahem.. portion of that post summarizes it all. It was intended to be rude, brutish and judgmental. Not unlike your original post.

Zane, my sponsor often reminds me that the road to hell is paved in good intentions. If you really want to carry the message - and for what it is worth, I believe you do - reread your postings - listen to those who love you and frame the message without the spewing the bile. It saddens me to see the intended message missed because of the tone in which you present it. I know that is not what you want - but it is the reality.

And I don't care if you flame me with outrageous adjectives ( although you would have to work hard to top .. act like an idiot, talk like a whore and make a total ass ..)

Now, it seems that I'm not the only one with some 10th step work to do today.


Member: Barry L
Location: Staying Cyber Tech
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 16:05:28

Comments

To Tommy from Sweden,

The Staying Cyber Web Site may just be the most visible Open Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting in the World?

If this is the line you were referencing, it does not say biggest, and it was not intended as a boast.

It was written to remind people that our Meeting Site, is wide open for ANYONE to view, in a format and new medium that is unprecedented in the history of A.A., and therefore We who share here have a Responsibility to put forth a Positive image of Alcoholics Anonymous, and be typing examples of the Big Book.


Member: Jack B.
Location: Windsor,Ontario,Canada
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 16:20:12

Comments

My name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic.Wow!! the site sure gets "testy" at times. Sounds just like a real f2f mtg.For those who can take what they need and leave the rest, that's great. For those that think Everything posted here is AA gospel, get a sponsor, join a f2f group, read the Big Book, and above all KEEP COMING BACK.

Teri, hang in there! You are with friends- we share your pain. My Dad also was a great guy, unfotunately, I was not able to tell him that f2f. He died in 1987 from the disease of alcoholism. When I came to AA in 1992, I understood when you said that we were not bad people trying to get good, but rather we were sick people trying to get better. You see, the Dad I knew as a child, teeenager, and young adult was a loving, caring ,fun loving, happy,and all around super guy. In the naxt 20 years he became a selfish, uncaring, egotistical,homeless, jobless drunk. Make no mistake that the disease of alcoholism is progressive!

I know that he is watching over me from the Big Meeting in the sky, because it took me another 5 years to come thru the doors of AA, but when I heard the above statement I KNEW my Dad was a good person, who was sick : so maybe....just maybe that applied to me too, and I could get better.

In an earlier post today I noticed An Otto from Iceland.

OTTO, if you see this message, and wish to replymy E-mail address is jrbechard@yahoo.com

I will be in Iceland late this year(Reykjavik). I am looking for some English speaking meetings and perhaps have time to share a coffee with a fellow AA. Please let me know.

\Thanks, Jack.


Member: de anna
Location: from the lookin glass
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 18:06:36

Comments

deanna, which is it dear you did the steps or you are still on step 4 and not havin done a 5th yet...you seem so confused trying to keep the story straight as does sheryl who last week was it was in atlanta takin care of the critically ill f***ing kids as she described em but now is in ohio gettin drunk on sat nights while tryin to be thar for anuther but oh well as long as you all come here to the pot and spout off i guess you all will be saved by the gods whom you belly up to stomp on others to get you to the top and when you all fall down ya all will still break apart like humpty dumpty who couldn get it togetha again.


Member: Joe Allison
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 18:26:27

Comments

Hi, everyone: Joe Allison here again. This just came in by email and I don't know how to switch it from there to here, so will give you the http address to get it for yourselves. I tried to print it, and the print was badly smudged. Maybe the printer was laughing too hard.

To learn all you really need to know about computers, address

http://uvlight.virtualave.net/image/tec.jpg

Happy learning from Joe Allison of Portland.


Member: Zane
Location: Ozona
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 19:23:07

Comments

LARRY, your post is so full of information you could only have gotten psychically that I hesitate to respond, but in the interest of truth, I shall.

"...message you clearly don't fully understand...."

Larry, you want me to take Joe's version: "A.A. is about NOTHING BUT making amends to oneself?" or perhaps Dr. Gina's version, "I am SOOOooOOOoooo serene that I have gained the ability to judge you from a zillion miles away, using only my crystal ball and PMS as a communication tool?" Or perhaps Sanders'?..."Your post does not contain any recovery!....Now, then...let me tell you about my puppy's bowel movements...."

Which one, Larry?

Maybe this one: The time the idiots DEMANDED I apologize to Sanders for writing a parody about puppy excrement? Why don't they demand apologies from Sanders for telling others what they ought to share? Hey, where are all those people now, and why aren't they DEMANDING apologies from Art for acting like a demented psychopath? Why aren't they telling you to take your own inventory? In fact, why aren't YOU doing that right this moment?

You mentioned an "unprovoked ad hominem attack on Joe A who has shared some wonderful ideas here..." Hey, Larry, what Joe shared is STILL ridiculous, no matter how you slice it. Telling the newcomer who wonders what he has to do to live happily that the ONLY thing he has to do is "make amends to himself," is NOT a "wonderful idea." Jeez, Larry....you don't really believe this crap you spout, do you?

"I think you're missing the forest for the trees.." And I think the cliche is your best friend, Larry. Perhaps we should just use slogans and platitudes as our program of recovery.

"How could you have completed Step 5, yet be so lacking in compassion?" I admit openly and without shame that I do indeed lack compassion for those who have been around A.A. for so long and pass on such erroneous information to the alcoholic who suffers. You bet. One thing I learned while "effectively" working Step 5 was the ability to see straight through the BS. And buddy, telling someone that their share is not up to snuff because it contains "no recovery," and then sharing about dog feces is "BS," as is telling a worldwide forum full of inquiring newcomers that "A.A. is about nothing but making amends to oneself." What unnerves you and the other thin-skinned folks so badly is that I do NOT hesitate to call you on that crap. And guess what? I never will. Larry, if you don't like what I post, make a list of the things you don't like, check it twice, and go work on it until you are able to co-exist in a world where others have viewpoints differently than your own. And, get a sponsor to help you with it. Would you like to continue to post your Crystal Ball Inventory of Zane's Life here in the Coffee Pot, or would you rather send me a graded and corrected copy by fax? First, you aren't QUALIFIED to tell me anything that matters, since all you can do is tell me "what I need to do."

...completed Step 9 in a matter of days...." Yes, Larry, 132 on my list, including everyone from IRS to family, apologizing in open court to judges, policemen, writing letters to every single member of my family, the works...yes, travelling many thousands of miles, making amends in three countries, you bet. Fifty-three days until I found the last one I could find, making 131 out of 132 done, and then a few months later, had to drive from New York to Martinsburg, Virginia to make amends for a theft 18 yrs prior, offered to go to jail,paid restitution, getting through all 132, walked out a winner. Voluntarily offered myself up to prison and jail in four states during those fifty three days, including turning myself in for federal indictment. Don't you even THINK of presuming to tell me about "rigorous honesty." I have BEEN there. I paid what it took because my sponsor, a REAL one, told me nothing but honesty counted, so I did EVERYthing he told me was required. Hey, guess what? I did NOT make amends to myself 132 times, as suggested by Joe A. Get it yet?

"Maybe that's why it's obvious to just about everyone but yourself that the Promises haven't come true in your life yet...." Larry, you know nothing about me, and it surprises me that you would be so stupid. "....just about everyone?" Where, exactly, are you getting your information? Divine revelation? Tea leaves? Hey, just about EVERYONE who writes me when I post tells me that you and your cronies are quote, "full of shit and blind." Why not speak for yourself, Larry? Just you, okay?

You know how I know I am living a good life, and that the Promises indeed have come true in my life, Larry? Here's how: When judgmental, all-knowing "experts" such as yourself who diagnose and psychically ascertain my every move without ever having met me and without knowing the first thing about my life simply CANNOT lay off when I tell it like it is.

Contempt prior to investigation is what I have heard that called. What do YOU call it?

Anyone else who simply cannot layoff, please direct your email to me at Zany201@aol.com, since every time I share, there is a mass hysteria created by those who are perturbed to the brink of insanity by what I write. If you'll just write me, I'll help you understand why when you have a problem with what I say, you are automatically your own worst problem.

And Dr. Gina...since you have diagnosed what type of 10th step work I need to do today, how about giving me a run-down of what I did for the past 24 hours? Can you do that? Hey, go ahead and give me a blow by blow, since you know it all, or else stop paying attention to the imbecile living in your head who tells you you're fit to judge another person, okay?

Glad to help. Keep those cards and letters coming.


Member: Susan B.
Location:
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 19:34:30

Comments

Joe A....Thanks, I needed that!


Member: Susan B.
Location:
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 19:45:16

Comments

Joe A....I should have been more specific in my post to you...thanks for the piece about "bottoms" and for reminding me that "God don't make junk"...I was thinking very "seriously" about picking up again...I read that and decided I was worth not "picking up" again.

Salina....leave Sheryl alone...An old saying goes...until you've walked a while in my moccasins don't judge!!! And that goes for anybody else...


Member: eddieM
Location: UK
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 20:03:50

Comments


Member: EddieM
Location: UK
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 20:15:12

Comments

I accesssed this site to gain an insite into the problems of alcolholism and to see if I could glean any info to help my friend C. At the moment he is seeing life through the bottom of a vodka bottle,He is paranoid, schizo, and angry. He is going through some sort of self denial, where everyone is wrong apart from him. He has alienated his wife, children, and most of his friends. I only hope that one day with our help, he can return to the real world and live a full and normal life.....very much like all you people.


Member: Ott
Location: Iceland
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 20:47:49

Comments

Hello Ott Alkie here. Im having a great day. Some of you are still arguing how the wheel was made. Thats okay with me, you see everybody have a wev. I see a color which I say is green. Than my wife say its see green, than my doughter say its gray green okay. The thing is that the paint covers the timber and makes it waterproof and gards it from the sun. You see AA has worked for dekades , and it workes and has for thousunds of people.

Teri F. You have all my sympathy. I kinda know what you are going through. I lost my father , he had canser. I sawhim eated up in bed at the hospital, and finaly it was relieaf for him to go, but it did hurt a lot he was only 58 years old.You have all my hugs I can give you.

Im working in a nother place now, so I only can sit at my CP on weekends. I miss you all over the week. MOUSE ;;GERY;; JEAN-CLAUDE;;CORINNE B AVRIL;;MARY W;;FAYLA;;JIM R JULIE JERUSALEM; and others. Julie we almost won the song contest Eurovision!!!!!

Jack. Hi. There are three meetings in Reykjavk. They are on TJARNARGTU 20 Reykjavk. Tuesday at 20,45 Friday at 21.00 Sunday 21.00. They are in Enghlis. I have a meeting list and thouse are the only one were english is spoken. Than it is a coffee hous wich is wery popular for the AA people not wery far from this place. It takes you 5 minutes to walk there. Hope you have a good time in Iceland.

Vala vona a ykkur gangi bum vel.. Love and hugs for every body

BY BY Ott on Iceland....


Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 20:56:47

Comments

Good Evening to everyone on Staying Cyber's Coffee Pot. This my second post on this site. I posted earlier this week and offered my appreciation for those who have made this Stayintg Cyber website celebrate 2 years.

I first tuned into Staying Cyber in October of 1998 and I looked at the Coffee Pot and decided that I really didn't need what it offerred for daily sobriety and I haven't been back on it until this week and doubt very much that I will be back very soon. I really love the Discussion Meeting and the 12&12 Meeting. For instance this week the discussion meeting has dealt with hitting bottom and the 12&12 meeting has dealt with the 12 Step.

Early in my sobriety, I was told that this is a suggested program of recovery and that I should use what works for me and simply store the stuff I don't understand for a later time, because it might be just the thing I will need for staying sober that day.

I did a little research today and noticed that there were 6 Posts today on hitting bottom; 2 Posts today on Step 12, and 29 Posts on the Coffee Pot. Maybe that tells us something about ourselves.

My name is Tom Anderson, and I am sober today by the grace of God and this fellowship we know as Alcoholic's Anonymous, which includes Staying Cyber's three meetings and I suggest that what works for you works for you and what works for me works for me.

You know it might be a good idea for all of us who posted this week to send a couple of bucks to Staying Cyber, P.O. Box 392, Minisink Hills, PA 18341. I'm sure our trusted servants and those wonderful Tech's would appreciate that gesture.

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 20:59:19

Comments

I have never EVER said that I have worked the steps. So, the confusion is on you dude. Do your research then come take my inventory.


Member: Ott
Location: Still on Iceland
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 21:05:56

Comments

Hell a again. here is a poet Ill try to translated it to english.. I esemtthis desese Im self the doctor Now I know whats right or wrong Rules have to abay straight Im a alkaholik all my live.

I admitt my power less I let God take care of rest. I put the goal abowe my own intrest Sober be my hearts feel Im an alkaholik all this day.

I live to day I die to nighte To the Lord I give all my power, Than my live is not a hasetaid Im an alkaholik everi ayeblik.

Undergiven and peace of mind And open posetive stage of mind Never forget the place nor hour Im an alkaholik and I give thanks for that.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 21:41:37

Comments

Hi All Ya'all i am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Thought I would return to check out the site but see it is about like I left it, so i didn't miss much. One way to do it and everyone else is stupid but for some reason the world is wrong and you are right Zane. larry said it very well but as usual you never look at any wrong on your part but only to rip the other person to peices.Most all opf us on here don't disagree with most of what you say but I knowIdisagree with about 99% of how you say it.----What I came here to do was to say something to Teri. I am so sorry for your loss of your father. My dafd say me just before I stopped drinking and living in New Port Richey and I never openly made my amends to him. They were down visiting us and I had gone out early that morning to get them some oranges but what I ahd actually gone for was to drink. I ended up in the field abover the house and when they left they saw my truck in the field and stopped and blew the horn for me to let them in and I pretended I didn't hear but they knew I did. They finally gave up and left and my mother later told me my dad cried nearly all tehway home and said he neverf expected to see me alive again. he did see me without sa drink for 5 years but still no open amends to him. he then ad a stroke and heart attack at the same time and coukld not talk. I ahd built up enought time that I stayed with him at the hgospital for one month till he died. During this timeall I could do for him was tocomb his hair and rfead him his bible. As I said he could not speak but his eyes would just glisten when i would read or comb his hair mandhe only had a little bit but he wanted it combed at all times. When he finally died and after the funeral I was driving back to New Port Richey and very angry with God for letting this man who loved everyone die after laying there in the hospital for a month. It finally came to me why. It was God's way of letting me give back to my dad what he had given me all his life. During that hospital visit I promised my dad that I would do all I could to try to take care of my mother and that is why I came up here when I fretire to make good thsat promise. With that realization I was able to accept his death even tho I was very sad at losing him and still miss him after many years. I don't really know what to say to you Teri to make it any easier but at least you know you are not alone and I love you. -----Little Fella is just ding great and is growing like crazy because he eats all the time.----God loves you and so do I sanders@wfeca.net ICQ# 14412521


Member: Michael O
Location: NH
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 21:42:46

Comments

It is now time to finaly start to take the time I need to work on my recovery. I have a chance with the grace from my HP to get on with my life and to work on my character defects that have accumulated all my life.

10 weeks clean now and even with my recent turmoil I have made a commitment to myself not to use ever again. I feel very strongly that I can keep this commitment and have a new hope that my life will change for the better. But I am prepared to deal with life on its own terms and to allow my HP to guide me along what ever path it feels is best for me.

This program does work if you work it and allow yourself to give it up to a HP because lets face it folks we deffinetly don't know how to do it right ourselves or none of us would be here now, would we?

So love and happyness to you all.


Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 21:47:05

Comments

Zane, I thought Larry's post was well-written constructive criticism; you'd be ahead if you'd at least look at some of it.

I agree with most everything you say about the program, but would you please reread the chapter on working with others? Don't look for out-of-context quotes or page numbers, but pay attention to where it discusses spoiling opportunities by being too aggressive and the part about costing lives by driving people away from AA by our intolerance. See if you can apply it to HOW you carry the message.

You've got a good message-one I agree with-but your delivery needs lots of work. The last time I was telling whole bunches of folks that if they had a problem with what I was doing, it was their problem…I was drinking. You've got too many good people saying the same thing…please listen.


Member: Tracey H.
Location: Tempe, AZ
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 22:21:42

Comments

I've been following the sight for a couple of days now (discussion and Coffee Pot); I'm feeling more at home here than I have at any meeting since I left my "genesis" group in Santa Cruz a few years ago. Moved from Northern Cal to the Texas Panhandle--talk about your culture shock. Went to some very cool meetings, and also some where the folks looked at me as though I had two heads when I discussed my HP vs. the traditional Judeo-Christian concept of "God" (not the same thing, for me). Nice folks, but the Bible Belt isn't too strong on HP's that aren't affiliated with an organized religion.

Have felt the real need lately to reconnect with other AA's. Looking forward to sharing more and reading others' shares A LOT more. I've had to laugh at some of the more--um--colorful exchanges going on. Puts me in mind of what we called the "911" meeting, particularly an older gent who was fond of reminding us, "I'm the same asshole I always was--I'm just sober now!" Drew a really diverse collection of characters; talk about a good place to get grateful... There was a man who, though mostly very drunk would clean up occasionally so he could get out of the elements and hang out in the meeting hall. One night he was sleeping on some chairs in the back; we decided to simply let him sleep it off. --Until he fell off and we saw that he had been stabbed. A minor wound, fortunately, but a potential "You are Here" sign on the map of the future to all of us. We ended up saying the closing prayer around and for him while the EMT's were on the way.

Don't know what that little tidbit was apropos of--it was just on my mind. Anyhow, thanks for letting me share, and thanks to all who post here and help me stay sober. ^ ^ Peace >.<


Member: Maureen P.
Location: Nassau Couty, Long Island
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 22:52:13

Comments

Tonight is my first stop at this site and I assure you that you are indeed "carrying the message"! And I thank you for it! You are bold innovators and Bill and Dr. Bob are surely smiling down on you!

I was feeling sad about my life and knew I needed a meeting, and was blessed with the memory of having seen either this meeting, or its predecessor, on a friend's computer a few years ago.

I feel better already, just' putting my hand out' and knowing there are others on the other side of it.

God bless you all for your good work. I look forward to our times together, today and all the tomorrows!


Member: MaRY w.
Location:
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 22:56:57

Comments

hello cp..... mom update.... not good news. if mom doesn't have the surgery she has about 8 months to live..... if she does go though with it.. well, she'll be on oxygen and in a wheel chair and be severely mentally deminished .... and thats the best case senerio.... they are still going to stay in houston and see what the last tests show.... told mom that i would rather have her have some quality to the remaining time than to watch her be so helpless.... but also told her that whatever she decides i would back her up 100%...... courage is fear that has said it's prayers..... it hurts damn it all. at least i told her what i felt... not ignored it like a turd in the punch bowl.... this is where AA and the fellowship comes in... to become a functional person... if i was drinking and drugging still.. oh boy katy bar the door..... i wouldn't be of any use to anyone except the dope man and the liquor store owner.

zane keep coming back it gets better.... teri f., much love and hugs to you. to all the others... thanks for the love, support and prayers.. please keep them coming....... my email is mtw@horizon.hit.net


Member: JCP<dixyflier@usa.net>
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 29 May 1999
Time: 23:38:49

Comments

Page 66 (Bill's Story} "If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us . . . for alcoholics these things are poison." - - - J here, a grateful alcoholic.

Grateful for a herd-size Saturday meeting of very capable people shifting into a weekend gear. It is more equitably female and male than most of my groups--and large enough to divide three ways: beginners, a closed discussion and its original purpose to discuss "As Bill Sees It." Lately, I have sat in on the latter, although for a long time I did the others, mostly the discussion Bill has earned a spot on my short list of great American writers, even though my spiritual awakening, such as it was, seemed sparked by Dr. Bob's remark that in his own case the desire to drink never left him.

Up to then I had presumed that WANTING to drink meant that sooner or later I was GOING to drink. Ironically, sometime after that the desire did subside (I am highly grateful to say) after it had seemed like forever.

They were not competitors, Bill and Bob, even though they were contrasts. But when you think about it, aren't we all?

As a certain non-AA saying has always advised: "When all else fails, read the directions."


Member: BOB YLLIB
Location: NOTSUOH
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 01:32:30

Comments

ANALIAS EED TSOL SI YTSENOH TRAB EMAS EHT LLA

RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH


Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 04:24:07

Comments

Hi beautiful people, My name is JC and I’m an alcoholic. *** Tim G, congrats for your son, I wish he’d enlighten a little more his daddy’s sober times. *** Teri F., condolences for your father’s dead. Seems yet that acceptation, time and friends will easy a bit of your pain. *** Mary W., my thoughts and prayers go with you (as with all those facing hard times here : Isla, Jo Ann, both Bill’s, ...) *** Welcome to Tommy (my son’s name too. Where your parents WHO fans?), Edwards and the others I may have missed this week. *** Jerusalem Julie, OK, I surrender, “from all over the world”,just before you mention Kamchatka and Lichtenstein. *** Eddi M., maybe you could let your friend read the shares of the 12/12 and discussion meeting of this site (do not bring him here, he’ll think he’s sane while reading certain posts). Otherwise, there’s nothing we can do if HE has not decided to do something for HIS drinkin’ problem (if he thinks he has one). I could advise his wife and children to call ALAnon and AlAteen, for, at least, save THEIR mental. I ‘ve had one of my best friends who died in alcohol, me being completely powerless over his problem. *** Otto, Sanders, Jim R., Jer.Julie, glad you’re back, the Pot sure can use a little positive in these troubled times. *** Deanna, don’t get upset by what some may say. Working the Steps ain’t difficult. I even heard we were supposed to “work” them once in our life. Others told me we were supposed to “live” them, and as I live one day at a time, ...*** Zane, I do admit, last week I felt a little resentment towards you. You have to excuse me, buddy, not being raised in English, I don’t get the subtilities of your beautiful language and couldn’t, therefore, understand the humor you put in your posts (or maybe is it ‘cos I’m still recovering?). I guess you were not attacking anyone here, you were makin’ a demonstation by the absurd. “Use the English interpretation of the Big Book” surely means this thing don’t work in non-English countries where the book has been translated? Don’t sponsor people who drop pills, don’t tell the newcomer to keep coming back (but buy them beer instead of givin’ them a 12/12), read the Big Book ‘till your next meeting (or go and die?), it’s dangerous to say that program is meetings (do they have to quit meetings too?), don’t listen to oldtimers, don’t have personal ideas, . Surely means send back every suffering alcoholic running for a bottle. It’s quite normal that you have a high recovering average if you work with “alcoholics having no alcohol problem” (what paradox?). The best quote was to Larry “When judgemental all-knowing experts such as yourself ... “, I was down on the floor. Just another one (can’t help it) “I’ll help you to undersand why when you have a problem with what I say, you are automatically your own worst problem”, brings tears into my eyes, even now. Oh and by the way, it was God’s perfect timing, once again, which permit one of your last posts to come right after Teri sharing the dead of her father. That added more importance on your way of seeing things. I’m proud I became one of your fans as God gave me to understand your sense of irony. Please, keep posting your jokes (In rather more than 1.000 words, 2 or 3 posts a day - I know this one is rather long, so don’t hesitate to remind it). For your detractors : you have no sense of humor, guys, what a shame, you miss the best of it! *** May God bless you all and give you one more day. JC (hoping some day becoming zane again- oops, computer lapsus, I meant sane, of course). jc.toller@euronet.be -ICQ 36308407


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 04:28:27

Comments

ZANE: The truth shall set you free...but first it's going to piss you off. It's OK not to be perfect; none of us are. Keep coming back.

SUSAN B: So glad to hear you dodged the bullet. I doubt it's a coincidence that an oldtimer said something that struck a chord just at the right time.

DEANNA: You're doing great...exactly where you're supposed to be. Don't let those who are jealous get to you.

GERI: Thanks for the mention on bimini. For a while there, I thought you'd given up on me. If you think there's still hope for me, then I must be doing something right, even though I'm still doing a lot wrong.

TERI: My condolences on your loss.

SANDERS: Good to see you back. I enjoyed your share in the "Step/Tradition Meeting" room last week (11th Step). The other "rooms" here have some great ES&H, but could use some more shares from oldtimers. The "Discussion Meeting" room in particular gets a lot of newcomers who could benefit from their experience.

Peace & Serenity


Member: Gary D.
Location: Bremerton, wa.
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 04:32:29

Comments

Gary of Bremerton, hey jay b. of poulsbo or anybody what is f2f ? terri ; sorry to hear of your father's passing. i like this online group very much. keep up the good work. it's nice that the whole world can share their alcohol problems together on line. i've come from a family of alcoholics,my brother is still out there and he has diabettes & olde then i am.. my aa birthday is 3/25/99 i will visiting again soon gary.d.


Member: Bill W   
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 04:54:28

Comments

Morning friends, Bill, alcoholic. I've enjoyed all of your posts and shares. There is always something to learn to do or not to do. Joe Allison of Prtland I really cracked up when I found out all I needed to know about computers. Looks like it will be a nice day today and I hope you all will enjoy it with me. God Bless you all.


Member: Zane
Location: Palm Harbor
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 05:42:42

Comments

No, no, Sanders, "everyone else" is not stupid. I don't use the term "everyone else." That was Larry you're thinking of. And Sanders, I respect your right to disagree with anything I write. And guess what? I ask the same. You said most of you don't disagree with what I say, only with how I say it. You are probably right, Sanders. My retorts to being cursed probably are sharp and concise. Seeing so many who want to be my caretaker bothers me because I don't have time to read all their inventories. I apologize for that. I should use the mind God gave me a little more constructively.

Glen, your comments were well-thought out and well-taken on this end. Brother, I think the thing that sets me into this frame of mind is seeing that every time something goes wrong in the Coffee Pot, it's usually because "Zane Spoke." When this same well-intentioned bunch you mentioned uses fairness, and by that I mean when their insightful comments apply to all, instead of just one, I might pay more attention. Until then, I will of course call it like I see it. Nevertheless, thanks for your comments; I see the sincerity in them since they aren't based on soothsaying, conjecture, and judgment,and since you didn't include a psychic inventory. Much appreciated.

Jean-Claude: Thank you for getting into the act.

1. The Steps work in all known languages since they transcend human logic.

2. Never said I have not sponsored "people who drop pills." Yes, that was an attempt at demonstrating "the absurd."

3. Always tell a newcomer to keep coming back, but offer him a solution instead of a room full of slogans and platitudes. Tell him what's really in the book, not what you think ought to be there.

4. Buy them beer before giving them a 12 and 12. How appropriate, considering number 2. above. The man who wrote it popped pills for 14 years which included the entire time spent writing it. But, the buy them a beer comment was abstract, and lost in the translation, I'm sure.

5. "Have them read this book..." Yes, that's not my information, Jean-Claude. It's directly from the Big Book (ALL LANGUAGES). "If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. AFTER doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on."(pp.95) YES, JC, I still do it the old-fashioned way, just like they did in the beginning. However, this does not mean that if a person is truly beaten when we first meet them that we shouldn't attempt to get moving on the program at once, and that's the usual goal where I am from. The "read the book between now and when we meet again" is sound thinking, especially for those who are just cruising around entertaining the concept of getting sober, while still thinking alcohol is the solution. Lots of folks have found tidbits of their own lifes in those first 164 pages, and when they do, and they won't unless they READ THEM, it's a good sign that they'll be receptive to the principles and work behind the words.

6. Never said not to go to meetings. See number 3. above. I said meeting are not the program of recovery in A.A., and that's the truth. They aren't and they never will be. Among my "meetings" comments I wrote, "Meetings are a great place to find a sponsor who can guide you through the 12 Steps. (They are also a good place to hear folks talk about Higher Powers in the form of lightbulbs, '57 Chevy Hood Ornaments, etc, but there are many good sponsors to be found there as well).

7. Didn't say "don't listen to old timers and don't have personal ideas." Said I had a problem with an old timer who tells the newcomer that AA is about nothing but making amends to oneself. Always will have a problem with that. And as far as personal ideas, I get attacked for mine about once a week, so why would I mind anyone else having them?

8. in re: "...your own worst problem," and my using that with Larry. Touche'.

9. The timing of my posts to coincide with the death of Teri's father is not my fault. You'll have to see someone else about that.

IN short, Jean-Claude, I enjoyed VERY much your tongue-in-cheek post, and took it with a grain of salt, reading it three times, since it was very worthwhile, and I mean that sincerely.

Larry: "The truth shall set you free..." Best thing you've shared in here. You may not like the phrasing, syntax, grammar, and style I use, but the truth is in there just the same. And as far as it "pissing you off first;" sorry about that.

If no one else has my inventory handy, can we get back to using the "way out on which we absolutely agree" for the benefit of the new person?

Any objections?


Member: Theresa L.
Location: CO
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 05:46:55

Comments

How does one get started on the road to sobriety?


Member: Tommy
Location: Sweden
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 05:48:29

Comments

Hi AA-friends! Heard that many colect the serenety-prayer in different languages. Here it is in Swedish if anybody needs it. GUD, ge mig sinnesro att acceptera det jag inte kan frndra mod att frndra det jag kan och frstnd att inse skillnaden.

and now I close down and leave for a meeting. All the best.


Member: Zane
Location: The Beam.
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 06:49:17

Comments

Theresa, you couldn't have asked at a better time. I need to answer your question and I admit that it may help me more than it helps you.

I got started on the road to sobriety by looking at my own life and seeing how terrible it was. I made a mess of everything I came in contact with, from my friends and family, to my job and my health. I was baffled because I had tried everything I knew to stop drinking and nothing worked. I cried at night, many nights in fact, some of them in jail, some while I missed my kids and my family, and some just because I liked to feel sorry for myself and blame all my problems on others. At the end of my drinking years, I was absolutely beaten. I was truly a product of my own sickness, and in fact, I did not even know that I was sick. I thought I was just a useless, miserable person whom life had kicked around, not knowing that I myself had created my own Hell. Nothing worked for me anymore, and when alcohol stopped working I couldn't get beyond the pain no matter how much I drank.

That's my story in a nutshell. A total failure, drunk every day, hopeless and worried sick about the future. Here's what I did to change that:

I used my last supply of courage to bury my pride enough to ask someone to help me with a solution called the 12 Steps. I was scared of the steps back then, and I can understand anyone's apprehension when they tell me they can't go through with them. I assert to you that you can.

If I had it to do all over again, here's what I would do: I would go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and listen to the people in the room talking and see which ones have anything enlightening to offer. I would seek out quickly someone who has had their life restored by the power of the 12 Steps, and I would ask them to help me, much sooner than I actually did.

I would go to those meetings every time the door is open, even if I just went to sit and read, or to help clean the place up.

You asked about how to get started on the road? You are already ON that road, since you asked that question. The next step is to take action.

You can get a copy of our text, commonly called the Big Book at any meeting. Read the first 164 pages and see if any of the problems with God, the mental twists of the alcoholics in that book match your own. Take a look at the Steps in Chapter 5, but know that they aren't as scary as they at first appear. If you find something in that book that piques your interest, perhaps you are like us.

I have no idea whether you are alcoholic, but if much of that book appeals to your inner heart, you might want to consider using the same solution the folks in the book did, which is, namely, the 12 Steps.

Don't worry so much about the God stuff you'll run across in your reading. Much more will be revealed as you go along. I was baffled and confused about that at first, as many are. That comes with time. Just read as much as you can, go to every meeting in your area that you can get to, and it does not hurt one bit to pray, even if you have no idea whether you are making contact.

A sincere prayer has paid off for more than one person in the past, and you can never go wrong by trying it.

All the above is based solely on one idea being in place: Are you sure you want to stop drinking? If you are, you may enjoy our meetings, our book, and our program of recovery.

Since you are female, I suggest, and suggest only, that you find a woman to help you with the steps. I am not saying this is cast in stone, since I have sponsored many women, and so have many women sponsored men, but until you are less uncertain, and less vulnerable, I do suggest a woman as your guide through our book.

I wish you the very best in your decision. If you truly want to live sober, we have a way that works for us and that book explains it. Just go to a meeting and look for the bookcase, or ask someone where you can get a big book. Meet people even if it terrifies you, and perhaps get some telephone numbers from some of the women there. Call them with your questions. Tell them what you can about yourself. Chances are they've seen some of the same things you've seen in your own life, and what's more, they lived through them---so can you.

Theresa, I also suggest praying constantly for help to whatever conception of God you now have.

A book found at most meetings, Daily Meditations, or The 24 Hour Book, might help you have something positive to read each morning when you pray.

Lastly, if I had to list the three most important ideas necessary in early sobriety, as far as mentality, I would put it like the man who taught me put it to me:

Honesty: As honest as you can be at this time, and at least honest enough to admit that nothing you are doing is working.

Open-mindedness: Accept the fact that your ideas do not work, and allow yourself to entertain new ones that could.

Willingness: Be ready to pay whatever price is involved in order to take your life back.

I wish you well, Theresa. Thank you for being here today. Sometimes I forget why I am here. Not today, though.

God bless you.


Member: Ott
Location: On Iceland
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 07:12:33

Comments

Good morning every one. Ott alkie here, and sober. Ive been reading this posts here again. First. WELCOME every new comers. This is AA in action.

When I started getting off the bottle I was told to have it simple. ++ I see it like the great team Manshester United. They won three cups this seson.They never give up until the final whistle. Like the game against Bayern Munchen. What Im trying to say is,, AA is a team work. We have rulesin AA. First and the most importand is I WANT TO STOP DRINKING OR WHAT EVER I USE. Or I like to play. A soccerplayer almost never can score a goal on his own. They have rules, throw ins, corner, free kicks , off side and so os. In AA we have also rules,but the bottom line is THIS IS A TEAM WORK. I could not stop drinking on my own. I tryed ha ha, and I promised ha, and I think you know the rest. Pain and sadness was my middle name for many years and I never was my self. In stead of descussing with people I attect and shouted and got angry to get my point of wev and specally to tell everybody else how clever I was. But it never got me no were, and I like the way to day to be able to listen to others, if Ican use something of it I do but if not I leave it.

It sometimes that some folks forget that this is a desese and we were born with it. I did not drink me to this palce on purpose, hurting all the people I love the most and letting my imployer alwayes down and alwayes on the worst time.

There are many wayes to score a goal and this is a team work. We AA people sometimes are the hardest judgers over other alkies. Some are sicker than others and some have better stage of plan to able to get the goal, some have their family, their house theire work and so on. Some have nothing but the desire to get off the bottle. So we help them out and give them our story not a lection over how great we are... We all are dust the length of our arm from the GLAS or the PIPE or the what ever. PLAY TO GETHER AND WE HAVE A GOAL,, Ott in spring on Iceland. ps. the pryer in Icelandic

Gu gefi mr ruleysi

til a stta mig vi a,

sem g f ekki breytt....

KJARK til a breyta v,

sem g get breytt

og vit til a greina ar milli.....


Member: Teri F.
Location: Marion, Ohio
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 07:51:37

Comments

Good morning all.

Welcome Theresa....just having the courage to ask is a tremendous beginning on the road to sobriety and recovery. We have to first recognize and admit to ourselves that we have a problem before we can become willing to seek a solution to that problem. I found the solution to my alcohol problem in Alcoholics Anonymous. Please call AA in your area. Someone will be available to talk to you. Get a directory of meetings and attend some. You might hear something in one of those meetings that will give you hope. Get a copy of the Big Book and read it. If you see yourself in that book, then rest assured you'll also find the answer to your problem in that same book. At least that was my experience.

Good luck to you and if I can help in any way, please feel free to email me: teri_fout@msn.com

Hope you all have a wonderful sober day. Thanks again for all your love and support. It will definitely help make this day a little easier for me. Love you all.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Gracewville, Fl.
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 07:55:04

Comments

Morning all I am very definaely a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Zane, thank you for taking Glen's advice above. I have to say this, your last post to the new person is, to me, your best one yet. It shows a bit of compassion and understanding so keep up the good work. God loves youand so do I sanders@wfeca.net ICQ# 14412521


Member: Zane
Location: Turning her out to sea to contemplate the Zen of Serenity.
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 08:33:31

Comments

I love you, too, Sanders. Really.

Jennifer and I are on our way out the door to get on the ferry to Caladesi Island to spend the day out in the middle of the Gulf.

Thanks to everyone who cared enough to contribute to my ever-growing understanding of the world.

Later.


Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 09:55:04

Comments

Geri , a very grateful alcoholic here. Hello folks.

Theresa, Zane and Terry have both shared how to continue your quest. The only suggestion that I have is to let you know that the Big Book is available online. So you don't have to wait to find one. You're in my prayers and I know that you are struggling with all of this. I learned that once my Pain was greater than my pride, I was willing to follow suggestions. Hope you are there too.

Thank you Zane and Teri. I'm not only grateful for the two of you, but sooo proud to be in the fellowship.

Everyone have a wonderful Sunday.


Member: Deanna
Location: Texas
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 10:26:34

Comments

Deanna here, alcoholic.

ZANE: My respect for you just quadrupled and I already highly respected and love you. If you don't mind I would like to print that out and show it to some AA friends here in Texas. Let me know. You and Jennifer have fun on your day out!

THERESA: Zane couldn't have said it better. I have been sober almost 4 months now. Those questions I had to answer. Once you address them, in all probability, you will be able to tell if you have a drinking problem. No one else can tell you if you are an alcoholic. But, if you are, we will do whatever we can to help you. I notice you are from Colorado. Go to www.alcoholics-anonymous.org. You can find contacts there for your area for meetings. I was scared to death the first time I went to a face 2 face meeting. Ten minutes later I had a whole new group of friends. If you are not an alcoholic you have nothing to lose. If you are an alcoholic you have nothing to lose. Good luck!

Ok this Texas girl is hardcore football and basketball fan. I thought it might amuse you to know that because of you hockey fans I actually watched a game and it was kewl. So on the chance that I will jinx my beloved Spurs, go Leafs!

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all! Be safe out there, there are some of us who haven't gotten the message yet.

Deanna


Member: JCP<dixyflier@usa.net>
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 10:27:44

Comments

"Our stories disclose in a general way what WE used to be like, what happened, and what WE are like now." (Big Book, my caps)

How easily we forget, and some of our sponsors too. I think AA covers this over the long run. I certainly have changed thinking -- managed to get around that first drink so far, so that I never know for sure whether I was right then or now. The likely answer is neither.

Everybody knows in AA -- whoever that is -- that our sponsors may slip out of telling us their experiences and into coaching ours. It's human, but can be a problem. I have known a psych professional type in AA, and suspected him of practicing or researching. But I was wrong, because he offers HIS experience, strength and hope everytime.

The point is if someone seems to be closing your door, there are other people in AA, preferably in person. I myself did this wrong, by the book. I could not take somebody telling me what to do, so I sidled around listening to what other people were talking about. Concurrently, I went a long time thinking I was not going to make it, that I was just putting off that inevitable shot. But at least I did it at all; for which I am continually grateful to AA.

We only have today in hand, but nobody else can get me drunk while I have AA.

There's no message at least from me in this following line, it is not local to me, I like the music in connection with AA thought. If you don't, there's a button for that in the upper left of your keyboard.

Keep coming back.

http://www.aa-erie-pa.com/announce.html


Member: NewBeastie
Location: Down by the creek under a big shady tree.
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 11:00:09

Comments

Good Morning to all, the Newbeastie, alkie and internat addict, is here. I have definately been reading all the posts here on the CP, though not posting recently. That little "clear Comments" button got pushed a couple of times though. Writing a brilliant put-down of someone else's stupid post...then spacing out awhile before sending it...asking "Is this going to do anyone any good to post...or is it just trying to attract attention...or display a brilliant mind...or merely stir the pot for fun???? Honestly answering my own question, I click on the Clear button. Saves a lot of hate&discontent, as well as space on the CP. I only have one comment to make here today. There is plenty of space for Sanders to post about dog-poop...and plenty of space for long theological raps from Zane...but it gets mighty crowded when we all take a zillion words to comment on them, argue about them and quote them. The ol' scroll feature is pretty handy if there is something you don't like to read (or can't understand). We would all be happier if we just read what we want and avoided making hateful comments at other folks. Maybe I'm way off base here (if so, surely I'll hear about it), but I'm just an ol' country boy and sometime call 'em like I sees 'em. I love ya all and wish everyone here a very happy fun-filled Memorial-Day weekend!!! ENJOY!! NB


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 12:42:37

Comments

A member of my homegroup recently celebrated 28 yrs. During his "How'd ya do it?" talk, he mentioned something that I've heard a lot of oldtimers say. He said the way he got to be an oldtimer was by remaining teachable (Zen Buddhists refer to this as the "beginner's mind"). It hard to learn anything if you think you already know everything.

He also said that the only things that can prevent any of us from becoming oldtimers is to either drink or die - LOL. His joke for the occasion was: Alcoholism is the only disease that a hypochondriac won't claim to have.

THERESA L: The URL for the on-line Big Book GERI referred to is: http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/index.html

Peace & Serenity


Member: Avril G
Location: DRIFFIELD UK
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 12:46:46

Comments

CHERISE L :-) Thanks for letting us know how you are, and for announcing the birth of TIM'S 2nd cyber baby. Great news. WELCOME {{{ALEXANDER VINCENT}}} Congrats to the happy parents, and thanks once more to the techs who made all of this happen. In AA there are 3 kinds of people, Those who MAKE it happen Those who WATCH it happen Those who say, "What the F*&K happened"

{{{TERI}}} You know why, thanks for the letters. Praying for you.

{{{All the winners who are here for me today}}}

I have an hour to spare before I go up North to visit relatives, and have just caught up with answering all of your lovely e-mails, for which I thank you all. I will not name you all, as I would surely miss someone, so I will play safe, and use that God-awful cliche 'You know who you are' THANKS Y'ALL.

No 'puter for at least 4 days, I say at least, as I have been informed that there is no mainline to the new property to which I am moving, so the phoneline connection may not happen straight away, so I will be back when I can. Looking forward to being in a f2f meeting with BRAIN :-) Tomorrow evening. It's nice to see the old-timers, with such a wealth of experience of living sober, still attending regular meetings, and doing service. This is for me, what sobriety is all about, as well as making amends to me firstly, and this way has worked extremely well for me so far, and I do not spout the Big Book, or recite it chapter and verse, I don't see the need for it. If I can get through a day without judging, criticizing, or causing harm to another human being by thought word or deed, then I will consider MYSELF sober. My answer to anyone who does not like the way I live my life of sobriety, GOOD, 'cos you stand absolutely no chance of getting it anyway, since it is as personal to me as was my life in drink/drugs/other addictive areas. Until you have followed my footsteps exactly, you can never have my particular sobriety, but hey, if you will only remember RULE #62 You can sure enjoy finding your own way in sobriety, (be sure to take some guidance along the way from someone who's sobriety you do admire) Stick around, I believe the cutesy little saying, 'When the pupil is ready the teacher will appear' I have no idea of its origin, but it sure makes sense to this alkie. Every step of the way in recovery, God has spoken to me through people who I have met, in meetings, on holiday, at conventions, and more recently, in cyberspace. Thanks to all of you for showing me a good example, sometimes of how to, and sometimes how NOT to, but hey, I need to see both sides of the coin, and I need you all.

Goodie@tesco.net


Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 13:47:44

Comments

Zane, thank you for that post to Theresa, I needed to see another side of you. For anybody who wants The Serenity Prayer in French, it goes "Mon Dieu, Donne-moi la Srnit d'accepter les choses que je ne puis changer, le Courage de changer les choses que je peux et la Sagesse d'en connatre la diffrence." I'll try to remember it before posting, thanks for your advice New Beastie.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: CC FL
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 14:14:54

Comments

'Afternoon ((CPers))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere!

So many things I'd like to say regarding the last few days' posts. Some months ago, I politely asked Zane to not post anything toward me. I have no idea if he does or not, since I use the scroll bar when I see his name appear, but I have read Zane's last 2 posts and my feelings are generally the same: Zane, you have a message, and on about 2 occassions (that I have read) you came across as so genteel; however, for the most part, I seek shelter as I start to feel as if you are swinging a sledgehammer in print. Note that I said how I felt - that is not an attack on you, Zane, that's just how I feel.

Maybe I seek an easier, softer way - and perhaps I will never reach your level, Zane - but I am sober today. I do treat members of my family better, I do practice the 10th & 11th steps, I have made amends to the best of my ability, with the resources I have, and I humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings regularly. In my particular situation, it is difficult to do much 12th step or service work, except when I am able to get to a mtg. I only say this because of the acknowledgements & encouragement I receive from others, locally & online.

These steps are to help me learn how to live as a spiritual being in a human world. I think so many times simply written statements (such as Joe's) get taken out of context. I'm fairly certain he did not mean that the ONLY thing AA is about is making amends to ourselves. At least I did not read it that way. Every tool that works, works. Be it a God Box, a Gratitude List, or any number of other things that might not be specifically mentioned in the BB, IMO, they are covered by "more will be revealed." Lighten up (Rule 62)! BTW, sarcasm and snide, supposedly humorous remarks, are not signs of Rule 62; they are character defects. My first sponsor, home group and first few 24hrs in the program really helped me with my own sarcasm, so I recognize it well!

I can really relate to Tracey of Tempe - being newly back in the "Bible Belt" myself, I feel bombarded with "Jesus" and strictly Christian HP references from so many folks in the f2f (face-to-face) mtgs I can get to. I found myself on my knees yesterday, praying for help with this, and found I was asking God to remove my long-lived fear of the concept of accepting Jesus as my Lord & saviour. I thought I might even go to church this a.m. But when this morning rolled around, I was in quite a panic-manic state, unable to face going into a church with so many unknown people, but was able to finally pull myself together & put my time to good use around the house.

I am one of those who suffers from grave emotional and mental disorders, but I do have the capacity to be honest & I truly believe I will continue to recover ODAT. Even in spite of my other physical illnesses! Or, rather, it is especially important for me to strive for sobriety/recovery BECAUSE of my physical illnesses.

Hugs to ((Deanna)) ((Otto)) ((NewBeastie)) ((Teri F)) ((Theresa)) ((Yvonne)) ((Geri)) ((Zane)) ((Sanders)) ((Larry)) ((Jennifer)) ((Gina)) ((TomA)) ((Julie)) and (((soooo many others))) here - I've gone way too long!!!

Thanks for letting me share. Corinne B.


Member: Jim R.
Location: second city
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 14:54:30

Comments

Top Ten Reasons why I don't pick up the next drink.

10. People have a hard time understanding me when I slur my words. My views MUST be heard.

9. The smell of vomit clashed with my new aftershave.

8. I got tired of trying to break up fights with my face.

7. I mastered the art of interviewing for new jobs and got bored.

6. Didn't want to wake up late on Saturday morning and miss the new carton, "The grouch and the Brainstorm". Cool animation!

5. Not many good Vodka sales going on.

4. Nobody would buy my new Video Series called, "Pain... the great motivator"

3. I actually started to recognize all the Circuit Court Judges names on the voting ballot.

2. Wakeing up in the morning, naked in somebody elses bathtub was convenient, but it pissed me off that I'd forget my toothbrush.

****And the number one reason I don't pick up the next Drink is:

1. GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS! >>> My Mom, Betty, My wife, KATHY, My Daughter, Nikki

If I didn't get sober for me, their love would have gone wasted.

Its a simple program... Do yourselves a favor. Don't do what you want to do... Do what you don't want to do... Don't pick up, read the Big Book. If you have a hard time connecting with your higher power. Go to lots of meetings and fake it till you make it. If you believe in God, May you find him now. God could, and will relieve you of your problems, if he is sought.

Have a great afternoon folk.

Yours in the fellowship

Jim R.


Member: anonymous
Location: Austin TX
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 15:13:40

Comments

Fellow alkies in austin:

<a href=http://www.angelfire.com/me2/drunksunlimited/</a>


Member: anonymous
Location: Austin, TX
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 15:18:33

Comments

I don't quite know how to put live links in these posts yet. I got something wrong. Anyway, type in or copy the URL. It is really there.


Member: anonymous
Location: Austin TX
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 15:35:32

Comments

http://www.angelfire.com/me2/drunksunlimited

Progress, definitely not perfection. Sincere apologies. Still not cured.


Member: David B
Location: Bimini
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 15:46:50

Comments

Anonymous, Just don't use any HTML when posting a link. the url is all you need, yours looks like this: http://www.angelfire.com/me2/drunksunlimited

Hope that helped.

On a completely unrelated issue or perhaps a different perspective on a group of perfect ideals, it's way apparent that the following quote I ran across applies:

"The only difference between stupidity and genius is that the amount of genius available on the planet is limited."

Have a good weekend folks, remember well,

David B, daveyboy, littledavey, the grinning phantom, bubba bigmouth, I think that about covers it.


Member: Jennifer Page
Location: Sunburned and diggin' life
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 15:57:48

Comments

THERESA: Welcome! In addition to the others who have shared their experience, strength and hope with you, (and did a mighty fine job, I might add!) I'd like to add a few thoughts.

I remember being very scared when I decided to quit drinking. I was giving up something I had depended on - "liquid courage" - for over 26 years. I started drinking at 14, and did not quit until I was 40. I used every excuse in the world to drink, however the real reason I drank is because I wanted to. I loved the escape into my imaginary world. Toward the end of my drinking career, I stared getting arrested for DWIs; that's when I knew it was time to quit.

When it came time to go to my first AA meeting, I had some nervousness; fear of the unknown. I did not know what to expect from these meetings. Are they gonna make me talk? What am I supposed to say? What will these people think? I walked through the doors and saw some familar faces. These people were smiling and glad to see me. The person chairing the meeting asked if anyone was there for their first AA meeting. I raised my hand. Then each person in the room told their story - what they were like, what happened, and what they are like now - and parts of what they shared about their drinking had happened in my own life. When I told my story, they nodded and understood. It was then I knew I was in the right place.

I got the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (available at most meetings)right away, and soon after found a qualified person to take me through the Steps the way they were outlined in The Book. My life has changed for the better, because of a decision I made to free of alcohol, and because there were people out there who extended their hand to me and said, "You do not have to live that way anymore. There is Hope." Good luck to you Theresa, and may you find what we have.

VALA, AVRIL, DENISE, DEANNA! Cyberspace stole my address book!! Bastids! Can you all send me your e-mail addresses, pleeeeeeze!

Peace!


Member: Larry L.
Location: Shatyan, Mahur
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 16:10:44

Comments

Sameach l'hiyot po. Ulai. Eifo Julie?


Member: Ken B. 
Location: Winnipeg  Manitoba
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 16:42:04

Comments

Hi Friends , Ken B. alcoholic . You know what the egg said to the boiling water? I've just been layed and you want me to get hard in three minutes!


Member: Ken B. 
Location: Winnipeg  Manitoba
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 16:43:19

Comments

Hi Friends , Ken B. alcoholic . You know what the egg said to the boiling water? I've just been layed and you want me to get hard in three minutes!


Member: HUGH   R-D
Location: WALES
Date: 30 May 1999
Time: 17:44:20

Comments

Dear friends,I amm a bit old in the tooth,whats left of them.Iamtotaly new to the internet.What a delight to find you.I have by the grace of God been sober since 1971.yesterday is gone AND TO-MORROW IS UNPREDICTABLE,BUT THE GRACE OF ONE DAY TO-DAY IS A GREAT PRIVELAGE. iLIVE I WEST WALES.UK ALITTLE TOWN CALLED PWLL.AA IS NOW VERY STRONG HERE BY OUR STANDARDS.AND A GREAT SOURCE OF JOY TO SO MANY.I THANK GOD FOR ALL THE SYNCRONISITIES!!! MY LOVE IN FELLOWSHIP HUGH.

 

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