Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 10:19:37

Comments

Hello and a good week to all of you, Amy the alcoholic here. I have especially thought about Fayla, Jason, Jrr (why do you pick on Sanders?), mary and our group as a whole. It is helping me to be more honest with myself and is keeping me focused on my program, as imperfect as I am. I am reading a book I found yesterday about the life and rehab of Drew Barrymore at age 14. She says at the end "Unfortunately there isn`t a nice and neat ending to this tale like in the movies. Ifervently hoped for a nice,upbeat ending with no loose ends, an ending that would make me feel like a heroine. But that is not what recovery is about, it is an ongoing, life-long process. The truth is that you will never be completely healed, you just learn how to deal with problems that intensify your disease. There is no end to the struggle for a clean and sober life. Happiness comes from knowing you are alive and have a fighting chance to enjoy it." I thought those were strong words for a girl half my age. I had wished that my disease would go away with time and although I am not drinking thank God sometimes life can be so confusing and therefore difficult. As the little girl who starred in ET says, it is best to deal with issues that affect your sobriety. Just wonder about your comments on the above quote. I hope you all had a great weekend and thanks for letting me share. PS Doris next time come visit. Sanders, could I get your e mail address? Thanks Amy G.C.


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Ore.
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 10:48:34

Comments

Good morning to alll of you out there in alky land. Yes, it is an ongoing process for me too. I ,early in my recovery heard a lady say, I am a grateful alcoholic and I thought, WHAT A CROCK ! Now I know what she meant. I,too, am grateful. More grateful than I have ever been in my whole life. NOW I FEEL gratitude. I am conciously aware of it. I never was befor. I, now, an a grateful alcoholic. I am even grateful that I became one. Without having become an alcoholic I wouldn't have gone through treatment and experienced the spiritual, intellictual and social growth I have. Discovering the program of A.A. has been wonderful. I have met many wonderful people and have finally found a place to "BELONG". I never realized how important that was. I have always been very social and never had any trouble making friends or being with people. But now my relationships are more pure. The trust and confidence I have in people is greater. I can go anywhere and go to a meeting and BELONG. Isn't that great. There is always a home for me. At this home I don't have to put up a front. I can relax and be myself. AMY, I think that every day I remain sober is a happy ending. I get to have that happy ending over and over. I don't know if I will remain sober for the rest of my life, none of us does, but ! I am today and living one day at a time to me is one happy ending every day. And, I want to say hi to darling Fayla and to Richard too. I think some pick on Sanders cause he seems so self assured and confident. Sometimes people don't like that. I am a very powerful and larger than life woman and I know that there are types of people out there that really don't like that. . . . I don't care. I just muddle through and enjoy myself anyway. Sobriety and peace to you all, Doris


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 10:53:59

Comments

fayla ,here AMY i dont know what your talking about i never pick on anyone ,I thanked Sanders for his kind words and prayers ,idont see how that could be picking on him if i missspelld something of wrote any thing that would make any one think this i am sorry, confused fayla love and hugs to all


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 10:56:27

Comments

fayla ,here AMY i dont know what your talking about i never pick on anyone ,I thanked Sanders for his kind words and prayers ,idont see how that could be picking on him if i missspelld something of wrote any thing that would make any one think this i am sorry, confused fayla love and hugs to all


Member: Mark W.
Location: VA
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 11:05:50

Comments

Good morning, my name is Mark and I am an alcoholic. I need to say that every day, over and over again. A couple of my biggest character flaws are repressed anger, and self-righteousness. The two are deeply ingrained. I pray simply that God's will be done. For those who are still suffering from this disease I pray they find solace and help. It is not necessary for me to pray for myself. God carries me. He has carried me since the day I was born. I know that. Otherwise, left to my own devices, I'd be dead now. I pray only that I be allowed to do the next right thing. What a simple concept that is! What an easy way to live.


Member: Doris
Location: Western Oregon
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 11:13:52

Comments

Hi you guys ! It's me again Doris. I just thought of something fun. I am, right now staring out the window at a VERY pregnant horse. She is a coming 4 BIG BLACK mustang from here in Ore. I bred her to an outstanding Kiger mustang stallion and he is a yellow dun. Those are some pretty special mustangs . It's a long story and I won't bore you with my incessant horse talk but ! Since these two colors are in the same gene pool we should get a Grullo, dun, palomino, or black. (I want a grullo stud colt) So, remember these are mustangs. I would like you all to help me name this baby that is due May Day by the way. Just for fun give me your suggested name and why. Thanx , Doris


Member: fayla G
Location: ks
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 11:33:10

Comments

fayla ,here good morning,TO MY WONDERFULL SISTERS IN SOBRITY ,DORIS AND AMY I THINK WE ARE THE ONLY ONES HERE RIGHT NOW . TOMMY IS BACK HOME NOW TUE.HE WILL KNOW THE TEST RESULTS .HE WAS SO HAPPY when I told him about your prayers from all over the world my sister in law got goose bumps ,she was so moved by your wonderfull prayers and careing loveing thoughts. LOVE TO YOU ALL FAYLA email rhicks@cowtownusa.com


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 11:41:01

Comments

Richard here alcoholic, Fayla on reading your share it a prim example of misunderstanding was revealed. Amy was asking only Jrr. why he is picking on Sanders. What a simple misunderstanding and I can see how upon quick reading such a thing could happen. This example illustrates how plain words can be twisted in our minds, and probably why so much conflict between individual members of AA exists. One person says something, and someone else hears something else. Of cores there is a response, as we all have egos, and then the debate over the contrasting opinions is off to the races.

This was not to single you out Fayla, but your case is a simple example to illustrate this phenomena. And, I hope a non-controversial case, for it was a simple misunderstanding and not an AA philosophical issue.

Love to all in AA, and especially Fayla for being a good sport.


Member: Doris H
Location: Way out west
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 12:26:57

Comments

Oh ! Fayla, Fayla, , , , Fayla, I hope that you learn to both not take things to o o o o personally and when they do feel like personal things give them only the credance and power over you that they deserve. I haven't learned all of this completely but I am working on it. One time in a performance review I was told by a person evaluating me that I was "unapproachable". Of course I thought this was a crock and said so , , , then I got to thinking about it and realized that sometimes I was and I liked it that way. I was giving my self power and control over areas of my life. This person meant this as a criticism and at first I took it as such but , , , as I thought about it , , , I realized she did me a great favor. And Later I did thank her for it and told her why. We have talked about this a few times and it, that one little word, changed our whole life. Learning to take power back , for myself, has helped me a great deal to finally get sober as well. No one else can do this for me. I have to do it for myself, or it won't get done. I DO love realizing how much power I can have over myself. Now ! if I could just loose the weight, I'd be so o o o happy. By the way the reason POWER is so important to me is because I was an incest victum from the time I was 4 until I was 18. Of course there was physical and emotional abuse as well, He, my father, told us many times that he owned us and we better never forget it. Now that I realize I have some power in my own life I really do enjoy it. I do try to not go overboard. (How I do go on sometimes) Doris


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 12:31:48

Comments

Dear Fayla, I am real happy to know your brother is doing as well as he is and want you to know I will continue to pray for him. As for, the picking on me, I was not aware of any. I either missed the post or it went right over my head and sometimes ignorance is bliss. To Amy, my Email address is sanders@wfeca.net It is raining in "sunny" Florida and I have a cold and staying in out of the weather today. I have to be extra careful of colds and the like as I only have one lung and have emphysema in it. I will be at the Dr. first thing in the AM for treatment as per his instructions. I had a beautiful day yesterday as I took my 92 year old mother to our family's 100 aniversary reunion. She won the prize for being the oldest lady there and was very happy about that. There is agood possibility this will be her last but hope not. She is also blind but other than that she does very well for being 92 and I live her dearly. I don't know why I got off on that; I just felt like sharing it I guess, Anyway love to all, Sanders


Member: Bruce N
Location:
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 12:54:41

Comments

Doris.....My suggested name for your baby horse is "Mutt". Every mutt I have ever owned didn't care about blood line, they just were what they were....Love ya.

P.S. Mustangs are really cool horses!


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 13:04:05

Comments

hello all, what a wonderful day to wake up sober and clean!!!!! i am not as brave as Fayla or sanders about printing my email address, it's not the viruses it's the unknown people that i fear flooding my mail... as you all have read jrr and i have become cyber friends and his email has been posted. he volunteered to forward any and all mail to me unopened with "forward mary w." in the subject part. fayla and amy especially are welcome...jrr is a nice person once you fget past the bs screen :) and i trust him to do as i stated...

fayla i've had you and your brother in my prayers,i'm glad that he's home again.and it nice to see someone else for kansas posting in here. amy, i always enjoy your posts. and doris, what you said about being unapproachable and all that i can relate to sooo much... what about mustang sally if it is a filly? good song...

hugs,

mary w.


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 13:18:42

Comments

mary here again, doris- i once dated a guy who raisec quarter horses and i alway thought that naming them from the chapters of the big book would be neat.. you know..more will be revealed , how it works.. and such..

hugs,

mary w.


Member: John C
Location: Marengo Ohio
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 13:33:12

Comments

Hi everybody, been busy tryin' to do life and haven't been to a meeting in over a week f2f or cyber. So I just went to the archiv es, and read last weeks coffee pot. The WHOLE THING! In light of Skips posting, I got more specofic @ my location. I recently went from big city meetings (columbus 750 a week) to the Mt Vernon area (approx 10 meetings a week) It seems the smaller the community, the more pronounced the conflicts ie, singleness of purpose vs the "and a"s etc. Ive been on both sides at 1 time or another, and my perceptions and/or acceptance are still evolving (nod to Richard on the west coast). Any way , come up to "cowlumbus"and hit some new meetings if you can. Ive found that new meetings and new drunks (new to me anyway) refresh me as I don't have to struggle so much to separate principles from personalities. Factional(ISM) is tough for me. I"m still learning when to stand and fight for my convictions and when to calmly accept what is going on around me.

Amy, Fayla, Sanders, jrr, Glen, josh, Doris, Mary, and all the rest of you, I've really missed you over the last week, I love this meeting!!! Skip hope to meet you f2f sometime . God bless us all.


Member: Mark B.
Location: Eielson AFB, Alaska
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 14:08:59

Comments

Mark, dope fiend alcoholic, here on this fine Sunday morning in the frozen tundra. I've got about an hour to kill before I head off to church so I thought I'd drop in here and bang away on this thing for a bit to see where my head is at today. We had a cookout yesterday and on a whole the thing went well. I still have a tough time dealing with people on a social level but I have to remember, it's about progress not perfection. One on one, or over a cup of coffee at Denny's I can deal with, but in the large settings, I still feel totally inadequate. After almost 13 years of continuous recovery, maybe I should stop trying to analyize all of my dealings, but, like I said, progress not perfection. One thing I have noticed lately is the fact that I'll retreat into a "safe square", an area in my life where I feel safe and unthreatened when I start to feel uncomfortable in social situations. The talk can be about anything, but, if I feel uncomfortable, I'll blurt out about hockey, or put on my military rank and title, efectively cutting myself off from the rest of the people in the discussion. Pretty sick, eh? The reason I'm looking so closely at this type of stuff is the relationship I'm in, she's "normal" and has normal friends. Looking at this, I think I understand now how she feels when we're with my friends, people in recovery. Amazing how this works, isn't it! Well, time to jet on out here for now. Hugs to all

Mark


Member: Linda M
Location: London, On
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 15:04:04

Comments

Linda the alcy here. Just found this site today and it's great! I've been sober nine years and though not drinking is easy and life is much better there are times when under stress I lose my mind! (and we all know where THAT can lead)I'm looking forward to joining you all more often and getting to know everybody.

Linda M


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 15:21:57

Comments

Hi, Linda an Alcoholic. Great sharing. I did the MS WALK thing early this morning. As I began what I thought would be a 10 mile walk, I tripped on a tree root that was hidden under a thick carpet of pine needles and took a tumble down a slight slope in the park. Got up okay and walked for about 2 1/2 miles before the hip and leg began to cause some problems. Instead of pushing myself to continue, even the 5 mile walk, I chose to take a ride back to the finish line. What a blow. I was very disappointed in myself for not completing what I started. I felt so terrible and bummed out I could not bring myself to eat the free meal provided for all those who walked for the cause. My ego was more bruised than my hip. It was an unfortunate accident, no one monitors who does what at these events, but I knew I did not finish, so I declined to take part in the beverages and food at the finish line. Guess that seems petty to some. My conscious said I did not desire it. Had nothing to do with the honesty factor, just pure, wild, and crazy pride/ego. As one man said, the group was interested in the funds, which were paid by those who registered, and I was entitled to the meal, but I could not bring myself to take part. Sometimes my expectations of myself are far-fetched, and unrealistic. Injuries need tending, but me, usually I am in the habit that if I say I will do something, I will follow through at any cost. Maybe I had some progress in the fact I did not do the masocistic think by continuing the walk when I knew I was not fit to do so. It just felt bad to act in a manner that was unfamilar to me--taking care of myself. Looks as if acceptance is what I need to look at today. Dissappointed, but not as bummed out now that I talked about it. My hubby, a recovering alcoholic was supportive when I got home, so I could not beat myself up too bad.

Love to all, Linda P.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 17:41:13

Comments

Hi extended family (((ROOM-HUG))) this is bon/alcoholic, what a glorious day to be alive and sober. Linda P.- you are a wonderful success story my friend. whether you did or did not partake in refreshments, you deserved them for you suited up and showed up, Way to go, girl! Fayla, so happy to hear your brother is home, praying for you both. Praying and leaving the results up to God, which makes it a better plan. Doris, suggestion for your sweet baby colt is "12 Stepper" or just "Stepper". thanks for asking for suggestions, Sanders, I know how important these types of things are to mums and nanas, my grandma is 94 and dad just went back to columbus OH to take her to a family reunion in PA, glad she won, Mark B. at 10yrs sober I came upon a time when I had to deal with my co-dependency issues, for I was still feeling like I didn't fit, inadequate and just a half a step off. I haven't a clue if that would be of any interest to you, I just didn't know why I had been sober so long and didn't feel the joy I had been promised, a friend suggested I look into that part of my recovery and wah lah, worked thru them and haven't had a day without joy in over 3 yrs. by the way I fit in my life today, in all areas. so I guess I was sicker than others, just a thought, love being part of this beautiful program with you all. Dear God please bless all who venture here. ************************************* bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Eileen D.
Location: Pa.
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 17:42:58

Comments

Barbara S. NJ Thanks so much for the congrats. I needed you and you were there for me. You have a kind gentle way of expressing yourself and it really helped in the early days of my journey. Please keep me in your prayers. You can be assured you are in mine. God bless. Eileen


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 17:49:39

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic. Just wanted to share with Mark in Alaska - you say your girlfriend is "normal", perhaps if you would put that in the back of your mind, or even out of it, and just remember that she is a "human being" with probably the same feelings that you have, it would be easier for you to communicate with her. I am defineately not saying that you should forget where you came from, no no no. It's just so easy to put others in a category, so to speak, and it kind of makes it hard for us to be ourselves. Follow?? I never forget where I came from, but now I try really hard not to "seperate" myself from my fellow man, just because I happen to have a disease. So much for the unsolicited advice, it just popped into my head when I read your share. Hope all the rest of you have a great day.


Member: jrr
Location: still harmony on the Lake
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 18:00:50

Comments

just a quick litte note...Amy ..who the hell are you to tell a blatant lie about me....i have never nor would I ever attack Sanders in any post...now.as far as the longwinded Know-it -all on the west coast....well ...some are sicker than others....however. You have a lot of nerve stirring it up ...I happen to respect Sanders as one of the most genuine people who posts here....perhaps you have a difficulty with me yourself...which is your deal...do not tear down any others...my friend mary w. says to offer you an olive branch..then i open up here and you are for whatever reason slamming ol' jrr.Perhaps the past posts w/ the phil t fiasco and relalationships 101 have you annoyed...just do not drag innocents into any conflict you have with others..it is not fair nor sober behavior...well ...guess i will pray for your happiness...even if you do so at the expense of others...

And yes...I will forward any and all mail to mary w.in Kansas....and if anyone has a beef..how about keeping others out of it...my address is the same as when our friend and Amys' posted..SoberChef1@aol.com

P,S.-- Amy G...perhaps you can find some harmony in the mountains, and not cause sweet people like Fayla pain...


Member: Laura C.
Location: Oregon
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 19:35:26

Comments

Hi! My name is Laura. I'm an alcoholic/addict. I found this site yesterday. How interesting this place is! I am grateful for my sobriety and seeing the controversy here, my serenity. I live in Oregon. It's nice to see so many Oregonians here!! I don't have much to say right now. I just wanted to say Hi and let everyone know I am here. Isolation is a big obstical with my recovery.


Member: Glenda W
Location: Alabama
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 21:12:18

Comments

I am Glenda and I a ma recovering alcoholic for today. Doris, just wanted you to know that I think the name for your horse "Tony" would be great. Whatever you decide will be just fine. The reason, I said "Tony" is because. my Daddy had a mare that had a colt. The mare died at the birth of the colt. My dad raised him. He followed himaround like he was his mama. I live in another state and evertime, I called my Dad, He would say: "guess hwat Tony has done now. One day I called and he told me that he was goingto tkae him to get his driver's license. I of course ask why. He told me that he was down at the pond a long distance from the house and Tony stuck his head in his pick-up and honk the horn at him. So, he felt it was time for him to take him to get his license. We had fun over that colt. One day, Daddy had to sell him because he was not able to break him and he watched Tony leave for his new home till they got out of sight. It was a sad day in my Daddy's life. Take care everyone and stay soberkust for today. Love, Glenda


Member: Richard
Location: Grigsby
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 21:29:07

Comments

Richard here alcoholic, boy it sure is true that some are sicker than others are. However, last week I said that I would not respond at the present time to any loud mouthed troublemakers. Just as one said, "if you have a problem it's yours." I'm not sure what you are mad at but maybe your sponsor can help. As far as being a know it all I never claimed any kind of superior knowledge if you were referring to me. Anyway thou dus protest too much.

To those just coming back thanks for the warm nod. Ha, ha, ha.

Richard signing off, and peace oh yeeaaa.


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA   KS
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 21:56:06

Comments

HELLO FAYLA HERE,I just got home from work ,couldnt wait to see what ,every one was up to I WANTED TO SHARE this with Sanders ,WHEN i was 14 1 was in reform school ;my great grama passed away she was blind ,] loved her alot.as i said i was pretty upset ,one of the house mothers came over to talk to me,she said you know honey your grama can see now , I said she can cant she and i felt good . I WAS JUST REMINDED OF THIS WHEN YOU TALKED OF YOUR OUTING WITH YOUR LOVED ONE . I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS FAYLA GFAYLA


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA   KS
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 21:57:14

Comments

HELLO FAYLA HERE,I just got home from work ,couldnt wait to see what ,every one was up to I WANTED TO SHARE this with Sanders ,WHEN i was 14 1 was in reform school ;my great grama passed away she was blind ,] loved her alot.as i said i was pretty upset ,one of the house mothers came over to talk to me,she said you know honey your grama can see now , I said she can cant she and i felt good . I WAS JUST REMINDED OF THIS WHEN YOU TALKED OF YOUR OUTING WITH YOUR LOVED ONE . I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS FAYLA GFAYLA


Member: Lesli D.
Location: MN
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 22:10:50

Comments

Hi, everyone, I'm Lesli and I've been sober all day. Am grateful for the on-line coffeepot; my ex has been out-of-town and, though it's no excuse, I haven't been to a meeting for a week. Seems I make up excuses that I have to stay home with my son. As someone else referred to earlier -- isolation is a big obstacle for me. I'm sure if I were drinking and wanted to get out, I would take the initiative to get a baby-sitter. Good reminder of what I am (or am not, as the case may be) willing to do for my sobriety. Nothing chaotic going on in my life (thank God!) Had a great weekend helping my son celebrate his 6th birthday. Feeling grateful I'm sober. Sounds like there's been lots of "controversy" in the postings lately (?) We all have our own stuff, I guess. Me -- I pay attention to MY behavior and, since we're into Shakespeare tonight --- "To Thine Own Self Be True".

Great to be here!!!


Member: MIKE W
Location: SAUDI ARABIA
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 23:04:19

Comments

HI EVERYONE, MIKE W HERE, ALCOHOLIC,GLAD TO FIND THIS SPOT. I'M IN THE US NAVY, OVER HERE IN SAUDI ARABIA, NO F2F MEETINGS HERE SO GLAD THAT I CAN GET SOME ONLINE MEETINGS. MISS MY HOME GROUP IN ANACORTES WA, WILL BE BACK THERE IN JUNE/JULY TIME FRAME I HOPE. THANKS FOR BEING HERE FOR ME, COULD USE THE SUPPORT.HAVE A SOBER DAY EVERYBODY... MIKE W


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside Pa
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 23:16:40

Comments

Hi Libby alcoholic- I came on this line ah-a few weeks ago, I was happy to find a place where I could get useful information and I then found I was becoming compssionate to those who were (just like in the rooms)sharinfg their strife about life BUT I think some of the responses are getting out oof hand.

What I am noticing is 'Dogs after bones" and I say this because it takes one to know one.Went through a situation where I believed I had to have the last word--I did feel good initially but hours later I recognized my immaturity. I made my apoligy and went on.

Linda, don't ya just hate that! I too am not used to taking care of Libby either. People who have lived sober longer tell me that it will come.I hope the injury you sustained has lessened as the day went on?

I hope everyone has a good week and peacful times Libby

PS Doris in czech S. Bohme means Godspeed just a thought!


Member: Doris
Location: Oregon, U S A
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 23:39:22

Comments

Mr. MIke W. In Saudi Arabia, Seeing yourt addition to this format was extremely refreshing at THIS time. Apparently there is something unfortunate going on in the Coffee Pot and I read the "upset" letters and than I read Y o u r s . I want you to know that hearing from you sure put a few things into prospective for me. There you are , , , , , God knows how many miles away from those you love and care about and you read stuff like some of this ! If I had a hand in upsetting anyone I am saying here and now, I am Sorry ! jrr, harmony? on the lake. Anyway Mike, I would just like to say to you and all others serving their, our, country anywhere on the planet, I am grateful to you and it must be cool being able to go on-line to a meeting. Beats the hell out of nuthin , huh! God Bless you all wherever you are, Love Doris


Member: Libby
Location:
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 23:52:30

Comments

This is for Doris--I learned that S.Bohem from a man I e-mail over there who is getting his Drs.training. Thought it to be a suggestion for the stang.

Now, I am really going to bed-- smiles and hugs all Lib


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA  KS
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 01:34:29

Comments

FAYLA TO MARY ,I TO WAS GLAD TO SEE SOMEONE E LSE FROM KANAS ON HERE,AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR ,PRAYERS MARY .LOVE FAYLA G


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 01:47:32

Comments

thanks fayla - look for a email from me...mike w. if you click on the aa links at the bottom of this page you can find many good email and online meetings... i'm glad to have men like you out there serving and protecting us. if you need an email pal use the contact from above...jrr growls but he don't bite. :)

hugs,

mary w.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the lake
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 01:55:22

Comments

sometimes things get grossly misinterpeted...sometimes people feel they have to clarify...sometimes things are foolishly presumed..and sometimes people feel they have to clarify..sometimes people do not have a clue as to what is going on, make foolish presumptions and try to clarify what was meant by someone they have grossly misinterpeted. The smart dog stays out of what the bitch is not involved in...for they could be misintepeted. just a warm thought for anyone else with fuzzy observations...and not having a clue....peace, jrr


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 03:12:18

Comments

Dear Group, Amy the alcoholic, I have sent personal apologies to jrr and to Falya by e mail and thanks for yours Saunders.. Everyone else I am sorry if I spilled the coffee by shaking the table. I was only trying to make a dry humor joke with my dumb comment and now we all see that dry humor can only be conveyed by tone of voice. Heartfelt apologies to all the rest of you. I love this group earnestly and would never intentionally hurt any of you, that is a fact, especially sweet falya and Jrr who I have always appreciated his insight and never meant to hurt him.

As to the Mustang, I think Stepper is the best so far but I will keep thinking. I agreed with the guy who recommeded mutt because I have a siamese cat who is chief over me(says my husband). Wish he were an ole alleycat but I dragged him here from home... PS Welcome Mike W. Love to all, Amy G.C.


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 03:31:55

Comments

Amy here, one more thing, yesterday the phone rang and the fellow on the other end of the line did not understand my accent (there are 27 dialects of swiss german) and he angrily called me an arshloche and hung up on me, I cried. I hate to be misunderstood all the time. I long for compassion and friendship. Not much harmony here until I hear back an (its ok amy) from the group. Richard you explained the situation of the mishap so well I almost didn`t feel bad anymore, you understood and explained it to fayla while it was the middle of the night here and I am thankful to you her feelings were not hurt long, hope you and jrr both got my e mails, Love, Amy GC


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 04:16:46

Comments

amy it's all right honey, i always liked you and jrr's bark is worse than his bite... when we met up it was because he was giving me what for in here. and we settled it all and now i can say that he is a good friend..if people went by just some of his posts you couldn't get a true sense of him...

thats the one draw back of here, it is just anonymous posts with names attached... you don't see the human behind the print... so with love i'll close...

hugs,

mary w.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 05:07:52

Comments

ok...first...I sincerely extend my personal sincere apologies to anyone at this site for my obnoxious, aggressive behavior as of late. Now...to be specific...Amy G...you are one of the sweetest persons I have ever had the opportunity to read...and I am regretful I may have caused you any discomfort with my ridiculously unfairly angry response to what was just a simple attempt at humor....my my ...hasn't my skin gotten thin in this arctic air..

And -- if anyone does care to speak to my handler...for every Circus Bear needs a handler...mary w. in kansas is her name...and you can send any and all e-mail to me at the above address(scroll up some ) and I will glady send it onward.. God bless you all and please keep me in your prayers...for the Bear got lose and has done some harm to awfully nice people.....and Amy ...thank you for your sweet note...enjoy your time over there....and you will always have the people here to help if you feel alone...sorry again if I have harmed you....many prayers for your safety, sobriety and serenity over there...in the mountains...peace, jrr...


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 05:58:13

Comments

Making amends is a good example of living the program rather than just talking about it. Thanks, jrr.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 07:12:37

Comments

BUT -- what IS an arshloche ??


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 07:14:32

Comments

Hugs with a tear from the alps and love to all, Amy GC


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENAKS
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 11:08:03

Comments

FAYLA .AMY I THOUGHT YOU WERE PLAYING ,BUT THEY CLEARED THE SCREANS OFF AND I KEEPT WONDERING WHAT I SAID AND RICHARD EXPLANED IT VERY WELL .I WAS NOT HARMED IN ANY WAY.IAM CLAD ITS ALL CLEARED UP. I LOVE YOU AMY HAVE A GOOD SOBER DAY. LOVE FAYLA


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENAKS
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 11:09:01

Comments

FAYLA .AMY I THOUGHT YOU WERE PLAYING ,BUT THEY CLEARED THE SCREANS OFF AND I KEEPT WONDERING WHAT I SAID AND RICHARD EXPLANED IT VERY WELL .I WAS NOT HARMED IN ANY WAY.IAM CLAD ITS ALL CLEARED UP. I LOVE YOU AMY HAVE A GOOD SOBER DAY. LOVE FAYLA


Member: Kerry B.
Location:
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 11:26:23

Comments

Is there anyone else out there???? Seems to me that this has become a private chat line. Please let it go everyone!! Okay, life goes on!!!! Need to hear some good stuff, not having a very good day. Now I'll probably hear all kinds of things about what I just wrote. I'll say I'm sorry before the @#$% hits the fan. This is starting to sound like the meetings in this town, most of the time everyone has their dukes up.


Member: Barbara S.
Location: NJ
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 11:36:42

Comments

Mike W.: Welcome! It's such a great thing that the "hand of AA" can be stetched out here on the Internet, too, when a person has no face-to-face meetings available. Please keep coming back - as someone said above, it puts everything into perspective to hear from you and to know that you find strength here. We need you!

Eileen: Believe me, it's been a gift to see you attend this meeting from the very beginning of your sobriety - there's nothing more wonderful than to see someone take that step into a new life. All good wishes, and I hope you'll always keep coming back, too.

Peace to all -


Member: Josh J.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 12:05:13

Comments

Hi Gang! Josh the alcoholic here. I feel like I just witnessed an episode of the Brady Bunch. This is SO cool!! We really are a family, and that means we stick together and work things out no matter what. Thank you God. I am having a fantastic 25th day of sobriety today. If it hadn't been for my higher power bringing me to these online groups, I would never have started going to F2f meetings. So far I've been to 48. Thank you all for sharing with (not to mention entertaining) me. MIKE, you are a hero. Doris, I think you should name your horse Fayla's Heart. We would all blessed to have one so big. Prayers for another fantastic 24 hours for all of us. ~Josh


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 14:40:49

Comments

josh, you are too cool !!! i'm glad you found us. we need you here. congrats on 25 days !!! one question... can i be marsha? i sure don't want to be jan.....


Member: Mark W.
Location: VA
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 14:53:59

Comments

My name is Mark and I am an alcoholic. I am sober today, and working hard to stay centered. Sometimes that's tough to do at work. I remember that I can't control other people's behavior. I am only responsible for my own. My HP is with me. I'm safe today.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 15:17:40

Comments

Richard here alcoholic, I'd just like to apologize to everyone for any defensive behavior that I portrayed. Some times people attack others for their opinion or conflicting insight. My natural instinct is to defend myself though this is my H.P. job, not mine. I think it's enough to say that I'm an alcoholic and that I'm a member of AA, and like all of you I'm trying to seemingly recover from a hopeless state of mined and body. I do my recovery, and you can do yours. It's nice to share our experience and insights of the program, but we will inevitably disagree about some things. Never think that I'm trying to change your ideas about recovery, for I never will take any of your shares as a personal attack on my program, and if your share is attacking my program I'll just have to take it for what it's worth. I do base my program on the first 164, but I like what the rest of the literature has done for many. I've read much of it, but I understand the program contained in the first 164, and I do not wish to complicate this simple, but not easy, program. I'm sorry if others see this issue as inflammatory, but it has/is working for others and me.

I too, as many have eluded to, like it when people like me, and in face to face meetings I find myself not sharing, for I fear that my opinions do not follow the popular sentiment which few dare to question. I however came into the program to recover not become popular. Historically speaking following popular sentiment has lead to many of history's darkest moments. So anyway, everyone has opinions and you know what they say about that. My opinions are no more perfect or enlightened than any of yours. On the other hand my opinions are just as solidly founded in the program of AA according to the first 164 which is our foundation, declaration, and constitution: in my opinion.

Again, I'm sorry to all those how are offended by me and/or my take on the program. We can still however be allies on this happy road to destiny. Like the B.B. says we can make new friend with others of conflicting opinions if we remain calm and not offensive. That was not a quote but a paraphrase with regards to alcoholics speaking with others about religion. If it can work with the issues surrounding religion surely it can work with regards to fellow members of AA.

Richard signing off, Love and peace to all. Keep it real, keep it clean, and keep it sober.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 15:25:44

Comments

Richard here again, some shares just came onto this page and I just want to say congratulations on 25 days to my fellow West Coast alcoholic Josh. And, Mark your H.P. will protect you sound like you're right on. Also to Mary, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha why is everything always Marsha. Jan seems very offended. ha, ha, ha, ha.

Read ya'll later.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 16:01:40

Comments

bon/alcoholic, what a buutee-ful day in the hood!!! Mr Rogers-- help! LOL (laugh out loud) Kerry, this is AA my friend, don't give up on us, we're in all phases of working at this thing called life and if we can't be honest in here and be ourselves, then where can we be? the meetings here are the same, we are all men and women full of a hundred forms of fear. to see someone who is anger based, by the way, it can be passive agressive anger and the Big Book is sometimes uses as a weapon, hurting someone just as bad as the things we used to use. Just a sneaky way of beating someone up but just as hurtful. I don't know how many times over the years I beat someone up with the big book before I worked on my anger and rage and shame. Thank God you all were so patient with me, let me learn my lessons, painful as they were. some took a beating at my hand until I recognized what I was doing. I will weild any weapon when I'm hurting and feeling powerless without a HP. for with His love and guidance things arent so scary, they just work out no matter how I think they should go, my serenity is in direct proportion to my acceptance of people, places and things as they are, not as I would like them. by the way this isn't a chat room, just a posting meeting, thanks for being here and caring. ************************************** (((Lib))) just noticed you had been in, nice to see my buddy here. ********************************* ((((ROOM-HUG)))) what you told me when I first got here was that you would love me until I could love myself, Thank you


Member: Gail B
Location: TX
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 16:18:27

Comments

Hi, Gail, alkie. Please no one take me wrong - I mean this with due respect to all. When I was new to the internet I typed in all CAPS whenever because it was faster and easier. Some nice individual came along and explained to me that in the cyber world, typing in CAPS was the equivalent of screaming - ever since, I have tried to restrain myself except when trying to make a point. If you're screaming why? If you're a newby as I was, I hope you will please take this as I did and understand I was just trying to keep you from looking that way when you really didn't mean it.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Gail


Member: bc
Location:
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 16:22:11

Comments

by the way, making amends is not only acknowledging the act, it's also trying our best to change the behavior


Member:   Scott G.            
Location:    Bardstown,KY.
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 17:12:30

Comments

Hello I"m Scott Alcoholic. I have had a bad week Iwas sober almost 2 years until last Tuesday. I just want everyone to know Ijust stopped doing all the things that worked for me. It does"nt get any better as I have found out. I"ve been living with this until today ,I didn"t tell my sponser at first I wasnt going to. I am really upset right now but feel a little better since opening up. I thought I had this thing licked. All I did was fool myself . Remember to do what works and keep doing it.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 17:51:41

Comments

Hi Scott, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Just read your post and thought I would share something a very wise man once told me some 22 years ago. This was after spending 6 years of trying to prove I was not powerless over alcohol after my first entrance in AA. He looked accross the table at me me and said " Sanders if you do not take a drink one day at a time, YOU will get better, in spite of yourself." You will notice he did not say things would get better but that I would get better. Since then lots of "things" have happened to me but I have not had to drink over them and today I can honestly say that I am better. As a result of me being better "things" seem to be better because of the way I try to act toward them today instead of react to them. I'll make you the same promise that Bill made me 22 year ago and that is if you don't take a drink one day at a time, YOU will get better in spite of yourself. Good luck to you and God bless. Love to all, Sanders


Member: SandersW
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 18:06:40

Comments

Hi Scott, to finish what I started to say is this. I have continued to go to meeting regularly and try to the best of my ability to work the program and to learn from the mistakes as well as successes in AA. As I said this was 22 years ago and I still go to lots of meetings as well as this new found cyber stuff. They say to keep doing the same thing and expect different results is insanity so I suppose if you have something that works, I would suggest not trying to fix it. Good luck and God bless again, SAnders


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the lake
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 18:37:54

Comments

bc ---- you twit...don't disrupt a slumbering bear.... progress not perfection..... so take your snide remarks out of our Brady Bunch meets Mr. Rodgers runs into Mary Poppins visits the Partridge Family while on the way to the Waltons via Little House on the Prairie neighborood block party... god bless all , and if mary w is marsha ..I want to be Greg...were they stepbrother/sister...hope so...peace, jrr

and i second josh's suggestion...or Amy's Adventure....


Member: Libby W
Location: Glenside Pa
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 19:01:46

Comments

WOW! I feel so very blessed to have hung in here to see the program in action. No s--- I could almost cry.

I just wrote my Bud in Seattle and said maybe I'll just back off the screen for awhile and Voila! Peace peace and more peace..

Scott,I too had gone out> But I knew deep down AA was the only way I would ever get better>Bon, whom I have noticed,shares from a place of love in her heart, told me "we are not bad people trying to get good, just sick people trying to get well" I say this the days when I put the whip to my back. It lends hope to my ears.Remember too you are not in this alone--For myself I thoght that a possibility and picked up. This is a great online place to come.I came here in pain and got answers and found a friend and am learning even more compassion.I for one believe it was NO accident I found stayingcyber.

Mr. R where in the heck is grigsby?(Just kidding) It is hard to convey typing since connotations get lost w/o the voice.

Have a great and wonderful night all---Libby


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA KS
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 20:13:09

Comments

FAYLA ,ALL E MAILS WELCOME.I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR STORY S ANY THING YOU FEEL LIKE SHAREING ,DRUNK S OR NA S ONLY PLEASE ,LOVE FAYLA .


Member: mike w
Location: saudi arabia
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 20:40:19

Comments

Hi Mike here, and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for welcoming me Doris, I'm just another alcoholic trying to stay sane and sober. There is no alcohol here, but I still need the fellowship of AA to keep me on the beam. I agree Mark, controling others is a battle I don't want to get into these days.. BUT I still fall back on old habits once in awhile.So thanks for reminding me about another one of my character defects.Scott G., take it one day at a time , don't drink and go to meetings... Thats what I was taught, it works..it really does.My drinking was hell, with sobriety I have found a way to better myself.Thank you everyone for my sobriety. One good thing has came out of me being over here in Saudi, I have had the chance (again) to read the bigbook (a couple of times) from cover to cover. stayin' sober in saudi MIKEW


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 21:32:45

Comments

Hi Suzanne, alcoholic. I haven't been here since Saturday. Busy "bunch" you have been! I'll take the part of Alice. Overseeing the household. ha ha A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of course." replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62 too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

"What's been going on?," he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luv to ya all Suzanne H.


Member: Scott G.
Location: Bardstown, KY.
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 21:59:35

Comments

Scott again was my first time earlier today on the internet.Thanks to those who replied. this is some cool stuff ! I believe i'll be attending more meetings this way. I just returned from a meeting and unloading despite of my fear and pride. I have to say it feels much better to be honest. Yesterdays gone all I have is today. Be well. Chat with you soon. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 22:12:31

Comments

Hi, Linda P, an alcoholic. Thanks to ALL who have posted today. I am one who likes to see this program of action working in the people who have chosen to live one day at a time sober. It gets easy, then difficult, sometimes outrageous, but in the end, if sincerely desiring to stay sober, amends are made and life goes on. Today was a perfect example of how to work this program.. Being sober gives us the options to correct any wrongdoing or petty grievances that would otherwise threaten that precious commodity, sobriety. It is refreshing to see that process in action at the Coffee Pot.

I had an explosive response to a co-worker recently. We both made some hot remarks. I felt justified with my response for a very brief time, but then knew that what I said was not truly called for. Searching God's Will in the matter, I had made up my mind I would get up from that chair and walk over and apoligize for my conduct. Low and behold, she was walking right towards me at that same instant. We both said "I am so sorry" at the same time!!! Just amazing. Normally we stay clear from each other, but at that moment we clasped each other's hand in an affirming shake, and our relationship ever since has been totally different. Truly astounds me the power of God working in the lives of all of us. I have been on that job for 6 years, and she has never been so kind and gracious as she was in the instant.

Love to all.

P.S. My body did recover from the fall. Thanks to those who inquired. And I like the name Fayla for the newborn colt. Mike I look forward to hearing from you. Glad your with us. Linda P.l


Member: Barb C.
Location: West Allis, WI
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 23:11:14

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Barb and I am an alcoholic. Now this is truly AA in motion. Scott- I agree 100% with Sanders. One day at a time, don't drink and go to meetings. I heard in the beginning, bring the body and the mind will follow. You will get better in spite of yourself. Mike-how great for you to have a connection. Keep coming back!!

Doris-how about "Miracle" for your colt?

Take care everyone and many more 24's.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 23:12:18

Comments

Hi to all I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. I really enjoyed your joke Suzanne, it gave me a good laugh which I needed. I was outside a lots Saturday at a family reunion and it really messed up my emphasema. That can get very serious very quickly for me as I have only one lung and it doesn't take too much to get me out of whack health wise. I went to the Dr. today and he got me back in line so I appreciated the good laugh. Thanks again. Now a very short word to Libby and other " Libbys" out there, it was so good to read your post. I can not begin to tell you how happy it makes me feel when I see someone come in to AA and get INTO the program and not just around it and see them get sober and and to see the promises start to come true for them in their journey through sobriety. It was so great for me the day I realized that happiness was the journey and not a destination. Just hang in there even tho sometimes I feel if it gets any better I don't believe I can stand it but I do. I love all of you and want you to know I am dead serious about staying sober in this program. If any one feels that I may be of some help to them on a one to one basis please feel free to contact me and if I have had any similar experience that may be helpful, I will be happy to share it with you, and if I have not, I'll tell you that. There is one thing that I am an absolute authority on and that is what alcohol did for me. Love to all,, Sanders sanders@wfeca.net .


Member: Ali
Location: California
Date: 20 Apr 1998
Time: 23:34:47

Comments

Hi Ali, and I'm an alcoholic. Doris I saw a day old colt yesterday and he wasbeautiful. I don't know much about horses but this guys legs were almost as tall as his mom's. My five year old was in heaven. If I have a vote, I'll go with Fayla's Heart. I have not been heard all day and it finally became too much, I sat down to catch up here read the postings and groned, oh good, more controversy. I am glad Mike W. read what he did and I'm glad I did too. I get to be reminded that differences and misunderstanding can be worked out and the courage it takes to say how one feels is extradordinary. I still find it difficult in conflict to stay present and also know when to retreat, collect my thoughts and come back when some time has passed. My sponsor would tell me "consider the source" when my feelings were hurt by others. Just recently I had to remember that the source of my hurt, besides myself, loved me very much and was in a great deal of pain himself. We were both able to acknowledge that and we were able to talk sincerely and lovingly about the problem. It sounds like everyone here does the same thing not matter what the outcome you all have the courage to walk through it and try to do it different next time, or not. Thanks for the help tonight.


Member: Lori F.
Location: Akron, OH
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 00:05:06

Comments

Hi everybody. Lori, alcoholic ... new to this site. Doris, maybe you could name your crazy, energetic mustang "Easy Does It" and call him easy for short. Ha! Or, you could always name him May Pole in honor of May Day (I won't even go into the possible meanings of that one) or SOS (May-Day, get it). I could go on and on but I'm sure you'd all rather I didn't! Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Laura C.
Location: Beaverton, Oregon
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 00:28:12

Comments

Hi! Laura, alcoholic here. I am wondering if there is anyone here who has lost their children in sobtiety, to the state or other parent. I am going through a hard time and would like to hear how others have coped with it. Thank you.


Member: mw
Location:
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 02:31:43

Comments

bc.. try reading the intro to the coffee pot ...it say this is for chatting back and forth to leave the meetings free of multiple and numerous cross talk...


Member: David B.
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 02:44:28

Comments

I'm David and I'm a recovered alcoholic. Early in my soberiety there were a few oldtimers that would identify themselves in that fashion. This generally created a gasp of disbelief from members of the gallery that weren't familiar with their particular stories. Other members considered the source, smiled and let them be. Still others, and I occupied this slot, dug into the book in an attempt to explain to these old codgers why they shouldn't Identify themselves in such a fashion. The deeper I dug the more I became convinced they were right in identifying as recovered alcoholics. While making this entry it has come to mind that all of those old wino's are gone now. They all died sober. The radical message they carried found a home in my story. One of them used to share that if half the people that knew him weren't harboring resentments against him then he hadn't been doing his job in Alcholics Anonomous. Another regularly spoke about his favored pastimes in debauchery, he refered to it as motelen with Helen. He bragged about how he hadn't had to go motelen with Helen since he got sober. The same member once came out of a blackout with his wife kicking him in the ribs screaming die you s.o.b. die. I can close my eyes and hear 150 sober alcholics in a meeting roar with laughter when old Bob P. would drop either of those lines in a meeting. We would laugh until we were out of tears. This is AA as I remember it. Its been a long time since I've heard anyone identify themselves as a Recovered Alcoholic. Just maybe there is another drunk out there that still needs to hear it as much as I do. Don't take me wrong folks, I'm not trying to get anyones hackles up but I think I'll be identifying as a recovered alcoholic from now on. With God's help I can do anything one day at a time.THX


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 03:40:48

Comments

Hey everyone, Amy the alcoholic. Well I must be little cindy if this is the Brady Bunch because I sure have growing up to do! Can you image never having heard of the Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, etc? That is the way it is with swiss people they just don`t understand the world sometimes, haha. I am a generation x er and definitely grew up with the tv blaring in our house. Here most don`t watch, it is considered mind washing, and I could not convince my husband to buy me one until we had been married a year and a half. He has never heard of Jan or Marsha. I was always envious of Jan`s hair. OK back to our other topics, just so everyone knows jrr and I have learned and grown through the coffee pot and amends are heartwarming. I blushed when he suggested the name Amy`s Adventure for the horse, that was such a nice comment. I thought of one last night, Serenity. Scott G. I also did not live a perfect program and a relapse feels like ---- but you can turn to us and each day it gets easier and easier tobe sober, you know it as sure as each day I drank lead me to the final alcoholic product that I had become before I found this program. Ask your HP for strength with faith and he will give it to you that is certain. Josh your humor is so much appreciated, Sanders bless your mother, 92 is a precious gift. ((Glen, Arshloche means A--hole in German)). I want to say hello to Kerry and Suzanne aka Alice. My prayer for serenity to all of you, Amy GC


Member: Jason
Location: Beirut, Lebanon
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 05:55:54

Comments

This is Jason, back from a deliriously sober holiday weekend! Reading over the postings from the discussion group (relationships... didn't dare post at this stage in my sobriety) and from the Coffee Pot I felt such an affirmation of joy and hope and determination from y'all. The (occassional?) knocks and jolts gave this newcomer the refreshing feeling that I REALLY was among "real" people, warts and all... I LOVED the image of a "sober horse thief" and it's application to the BB's reminder that sobering up doesn't remove all of our problems-- it "just" means that we face them and deal with them sober.

Mike in Saudi, you must be stationed at NAS Whidbey-- in one of the most beautiful corners of the world... How ironic! I'm new to the sobriety routine and sometimes feel pretty isolated here in Beirut-- I think I mentioned once before that knowing you were over there in KSA keeping cool and sober was a real boost somehow. Doris (Springfield, Ore) and Amy (Switzerland), I feel your support and presence too somehow and just wanted to let you know that you two and your messages and encouragement and sharing specifically came to my mind over the tougher moments of the last few days. Doris, I just sent a list of names to my Dad for a Thoroughbred colt-- so I'm all named out... but I'll give it some thought today. I like "Fayla's Heart." Time to get back to work...


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 06:50:31

Comments

David, for whatever it's worth, you are undoubtedly correct. Doesn't the BB say we are men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless disease? For that matter, all the steps are past tense. It doesn't state "we are powerless over alcohol" it reads "we were powerless over alcohol". (As in "used to be")

I'm just not sure whether the verb tense really matters, so (in the present) trust God, clean house, and be of help to others. And don't drink, at least not today.


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 10:17:31

Comments

Good morning, Suzanne, alcoholic.

Sanders, in your first post this week you spoke of what a beautiful day you had with your mother and that you didn't know why you got of on that topic. It is obvious that you have alot of love and respect for her and that you cherish your time with her. She is a very lucky person to have a fine son like you. So many elderly people go unnoticed for the great contributions they have made to our lives.

In my life there were a handful of people who exhibited a most wonderful way of living. One day at a time, encouraging me, showing me not to get caught up in yesterday or tomorrow. During childhood and adult years I admired these special people in my life. They were happy and content with life even when things weren't so great. I could never grasp onto what it was that they had. These people were my grandparents, a friends mother, and my mother. They all passed away before I could tell them that I have found what they always showed me, having faith in a power greater than myself.

Even though I can't share this with them face to face I know I am doing so by sharing it with all the wonderful people in this group. Thanks to everyone for being here.

Luv Suzanne H.


Member: Anne C.
Location: Bermuda
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 10:45:35

Comments

Anne C.

Bermuda

Hello everyone out there,

I've just admitted to myself that I'm an alcoholic and have just started going to meetings. Unfortunately I can't get to as many as I would like so finding this web site is a great way for me to attend without attending. This island is not the paradise that many suppose it to be, there is a huge abuse problem here, perhaps because everyone expects it to be paradise and in fact it's just a place full of people with the same problems as everywhere else. Anyway finding AA here has been an enormous help to me, as one of you said earlier in the week I've found a place where I feel I belong and can be truly honest about myself. We don't intend to stay here much longer and I'm loking forward to making a fresh start in a new place, but I feel happier than I've felt for years now that I'm on the road to sobriety. I'll check in again soon. Bye for now Anne C.


Member: Curious
Location: Fl
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 10:57:08

Comments

What in the heck are you talking of Fayla when you speek of Mr. R where in the heck is grigsby?(Just kidding) It is hard to convey typing since connotations get lost w/o the voice.


Member: Curious
Location: Fl
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 10:57:26

Comments

What in the heck are you talking of Fayla when you speek of Mr. R where in the heck is grigsby?(Just kidding) It is hard to convey typing since connotations get lost w/o the voice.


Member: Mike C.
Location: Pocono Mts.,Pa
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 11:29:29

Comments

Mike C. Keep it simple - E.S., Pa. Good morning all: Hoping for some feed back, on the idea of starting a meditation group in the area. Not an 11th step meeting, but using that part of the 11th "to improve our conscious contact." For some time several of us have talking of the benefits we could receive from getting together for this purpose. However weather or not such a group could off the ground is one reason for raising the inquiry.


Member: Linda M
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 11:38:06

Comments

Hi everybody, Linda alcoholic here.

I want to thank Linda P for sharing her feelings about not finishing the walk due to her injury. I have recently been struggling with a decision I made to drop out of a course I'd signed up for. I had great hopes of this leading to an "important" career. The problem was, I was completely lost and fast realizing it wasn't something I would be good at. I signed up for another course that seemed easier, partly because it is something I enjoy more. Although it is more interesting to me I'm still beating myself up for not continuing to fight through the other course. It just so happens the course I'm in starts each day just as the other course I was in is finishing up AND it's in the same room! I can't avoid running into my old classmates forever, but I feel like a failure and ashamed. This is really my pride and ego--a huge problem with me. I guess I've been all over the place with this and I'm sure I haven't made much sense. All I want to say is I recognized myself in Linda's story and it was a help to me to at least start to accept this character defect. I still have great difficulty admitting defeat and accepting that I can't do everything.

Thanks, and love to all, Linda M


Member: Linda M
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 11:47:28

Comments

Linda M here again, forgot to mention, I dreamt I drank a whole litre of white wine last nite and I was going to have to tell my sponsor that I had just thrown nine years down the toilet! There I go again with the pride/ego!

What a relief to wake up and find this was not true--and for many more reasons than length of sobriety!

Linda M.


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 12:38:36

Comments

Linda M. - I always like to remember this:

You can't direct the wind, but, you can adjust your sails.

Suzanne H.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 13:14:03

Comments

bonnie here, alcoholic, mw, thanks, guess I didn't make myself clear, I was trying to tell Kerry not to wait for an immediate responce to the post. I know with my system, I have to come back to check to see if mine printed, sometimes its there and sometimes I have to wait till later, till it shows. but really thanks mw, you are right. :-) Hugs all around - God I love this program and all of you.


Member: keithc
Location: castro valley, ca
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 14:01:31

Comments

hay sober people i need to tell someone this and on the computer is the easyest way so i relaps 10 days ago and i dont even know why but i guess life a bitch but i dont know be fore i relapesed i had 7 mounths fuck fuck fuck


Member: Kate T.
Location: On Wisconsin
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 14:01:53

Comments

Mike C. It can happen... the meditation thing, that is. I am involved in a sitting meditation with a group of recovering alcoholics that has been meeting once or twice a week for over a year now. Our group has grown a great deal and we are now branching off to other cities. Want to talk about it? E-mail me at katerandy@aol.com I'll tell you all about it, if you like... kate


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Oreegone
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 14:12:53

Comments

Jason, God bless you and I will pray for you at noon, when I am out in the barn cleaning the stalls. I love this Coffee Pot thing, You all have been so kind and hearing from all of you on naming the baby has been such fun, I am keeping a list and will share with you about the birth when it happens. My twin, also in recovery, will be here for the foaling and she is a non horse woman, oh well ! she can hold the flashlight and do the video camera thing. I am sure it will be born in the middle of the night, they always are. It really is a gloriously beautiful day here in Oregon today. The sun is shining and the birds are singing, there are 13 buzzards flying obverhead and their great. They fly down so low sometimes I can look out my living room windows and see their eyes. They have a lot of personality. We have all kinds of wildlife here (I surprised a bull elk one night in my drinking days, that was a fright for both of us) I just wanted to tell everyone that I am having a great day, being sober is GREAT. Why did I take soooooooo long? Oh well, this must be the right time. God bless you all and you guys overseas especially. May the Great Spirit hold you in the palm of his hand Doris( Lakota sioux indian)


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 15:18:11

Comments

Hi to all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. On a sad note, I believe the first vugarity I have seen since I have been on line here was just a couple of post up, But for the grace of God. Anyway I want to thank each of you for your kind words. Suzanne, I am very fond of my mother and live next door to her so I can help look after her. I have two trained ladies to stay with her all the time but I take her to all her Drs. , hair dresser etc. She is also blind and I have to drive her. With me next door, I am far enough away that we get along beautifully, but thanks again,you are sweet. To Amy in Switzerland, the card and words were beautiful and greatly appreciated. I am going to send you a card from me and the Fl. Gators.You being from North Carolina and just ona tour of Fl. you should know who the Fl. Gators are and if you don't, you should be ashamed. To Anne C. who is new, I'll make you the same promise that was made to me 22 years ago and I found it to be very true. The promise is that if you don't take a drink, one day at a time, YOU will get better in spite of yourself. As YOU get better, THINGS seem to get better also, but the promise is for you to get better,reguardless of things. Doris, I am 6ft 4in tall and once had a quarter horse, while I was still drinking, and I was the only one with legs long enough to ride him comfortably. I didn,t care all that much for riding but spent lots of time with him, as he was my drinking buddy. For that reason, I gave him a very "original" name. I called him Buddy because he was. Finally to Jason in Beirut Leb. I surely do not envy your being there and me here. I like Florida the way it is and by your being over there doing what you are doing enables us to keep Fl. the way it is, and I appreciate all of you. Now I neeed to get you STRAIGHT on something. You sound like you may have a little southern blood in you and if you do you should know better but if you don't, I'm going to point out a very serious grammatical error you made and hope you do not continue in your ignorance. The mistake you made was, you used y'all in the plural and this is singular. the plural of y'all is all y'all. I truely hope you correct this in your future postings. Seriously JasonI really do enjoy your comments and keep them rolling. God bless all and I love you all and He loves you all and there is nothing you can do about it. Sanders .


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 15:33:16

Comments

Hi bonnie/alcoholic again, Hey keithc, welcome back my friend, it takes what it takes to convince us we are powerless over this cunning, baffling and powerful disease. the important thing is that you're back. If I don't pick up the first drink, God will keep me from picking up the second. It's not the caboose that kills us. Hang in there till the miracle happens my friend. (((hugs))) to all


Member: Barbara
Location: NJ
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 16:19:56

Comments

keithc, I say also: hang in there. Start over, and don't worry. A day at a time, OK?


Member: Martina G
Location: New England
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 16:49:59

Comments

Keith,

Every day is a new chance. We are all one drink away from relapse, but also always only one day away from another chance to admit our powerlessness and let God restore us to sanity.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 17:42:33

Comments

bon/alky something my sponsor told me when I first got here was "I am not responsible for my first thought, just the entertaining of that thought" so when I start to think of a drink, drug, resentment, revenge or any other negative head energy, I pray it away, the prayer I use is, God - Your thoughts be mine, Your words be mine, Your will be mine over and over until the crap goes away and I can think positive again.


Member: HELEN  M                                                       
Location:
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 17:46:10

Comments

hi my name is helen and i'm another alcaholic trying to stay sober a.d.a.a.t. it's been great reading your comments. i was 7 yrs sober in march i found this page by mistake i'm glad to speak to you all .hope to speak to you again , helen.


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 17:53:09

Comments

Hi it's me Helen back again i forgot to say i'm from Scotlad


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 17:53:36

Comments

Hi it's me Helen back again i forgot to say i'm from Scotlad


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 17:54:02

Comments

Hi it's me Helen back again i forgot to say i'm from Scotland


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 17:54:26

Comments

Hi it's me Helen back again i forgot to say i'm from Scotland


Member: Sherri T
Location: KENTUCKY
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 18:32:47

Comments

i am sober 30 days .Sherri from KY.


Member: Mark B.
Location: eielson AFB, Alaska
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 19:34:47

Comments

Mark, dope fiend alcoholic, Mike in Saudi, all depends on where you're at. I know there are meetings at Al Kharg and at Khobar. Talk to a unit chaplain and get out and look for em. Also if you have acces to the Aramco compound they have meetings. Knew a bunch of people there at one time. Spent too many days in the giant sandbox and my heart goes out to ya bro. Hang tough and trust in God.

Mark


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 20:09:08

Comments

Hi All! Libby alcoholic. I want to say Hi and welcome to Sherri from KY. and Helen from Scotland. Keep coming back to stayingcyber. I learn more and more each time I read,hope you both find it as stimulating as I towards my recovery.

Keith- You may feel defeated but believe me you are not--First off you are vertical and breathing,right? Many a person has drank again and not been able to get back.Either they became incarcerated,institutionalized, or are DEAD. You and myself and many others have been given an opportunity to have the choice.Last week a man I knew gave up his choice and died. Please, don't you become one of those statistics.

Just want to get this off my chest-- I am truly getting fed up with the medical system-- Had blood work done for this liver situation and this afternoon the Drs. office called stated they need to re-do- the tests.What an inconvience! I guess I should get used to this for it is only the beginning. I think of you Sanders,and your health and feel guilty for complaining. I have taken care of many patients with C.O.P.D. and lung resections.A woman in my home group walks around with an O2 tank. She too has emphysema. I am finding everything is a process--

Hope everyone has a good night----- Libby


Member: Amy G,C,
Location: Switzerland
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 20:14:30

Comments

Hey everyone, Amy the alcoholic. What a busy week in the coffee pot! I have so many people I want to mention after reading all the posts. Firstly to my first cyber friend Doris H. As to the Drew Barrymore quote I posted at the very top of this pot your words were good ones and so optimistic. Drew said there is no happy ending with this disease,(unlike in the movies) it will always be a struggle. You said each day sober is a happy ending for you, and I will second that emotion. As Sanders said, happiness is the journey. I think that is what our HP wants for us. You also said you are a twin and my best friend here is from Tennesee and is also a twin, I babysit twins and my grandpa was a twin! It must be great , I never had a sister except those in these rooms and for all y`all (including all y`all brothers) I am thankful tonight. You mentioned this ego thing. Even though ego is a character defect of mine also, I am actually insecure and when I listen to the wods of the wise, I hear them tell me that I live on this earth not for other`s approval but for my own experience, for my HP has a purpose for me. My mother tells me my name was written on the palm of his hand the day I was born, that was a CROCK to me for many years but when he picked me up off out of the dregs he had a reason for doing so. All I wanted to say is that you are a beautiful person and I have never laid eyes on you. Beauty is within. As to the Mustang, my hubby the zoologist has born many wild animals and he says they are mostly born in the night because there is more peace, and they do not want to be disturbed or have the young taken from them. He agrees with you that buzzards are very interesting. I am just happy you had a good day and once again thanks for being here for me!

To Laura C. who said isolation was her biggest obstacle now in recovery I do understand. When I moved to a foreign land I felt so isolated and it was a problem at first. Thanks to the mercy of my HP and the support of my family (and now all of you) the isolation is no as bad on the Nerves. Sometimes I even like being alone by myself now, that took some time because in all the silence I was working on my 4th step and we choose isolated memories to dwell on sometimes that are not good for us I believe. I read somewhere to keep captive your thoughts...really when you hear your voice saying the things you do not want to hear stand your ground, pray and have faith that you have help. I could not have done it on my own, that is for sure... Then go and do something else. Eat some candy, start a project of any kind, write to someone from your past with a kind word, all these have helped for me and I pray are of some help to you.

Welcome to Anne C. of Bermuda. I could relate when you siad people think you are in paradise when everywhere on this earth there are suffering active drinkers. One comment an old friend made to me hurt a while back, I told her I was happy here in nature, in Switzerland. She said "well who wouldn`t be" I thought to myself boy I have been homesick an awful lot and when first here still felt left out when Europe drank and POOR LITTLE ME couldn`t, boy there was not much serenity for a few months. Many come here over winter holidays to ski and drink themselves silly.

To Linda M, I too have changed my mind mid stream many times career wise. But if your instincts were to leave the first class then follow them, who cares what the others think as you pass them in the hallways? You are right in saying we cannot be perfect in everything. I have 3 non AA friends here who all have amazing talents, one is a soprano for the National Theatre, one plays piano for their symphony and one is my freind from Tennesee who seems perfect in her heart which is most important I believe. I have wanted to be perfect or "very good" in something all my life, my mother a perfectionist and me the only girl. I cannot do anything perfectly. I have accepted that and more importantly in this group, as long as we don`t pick up the first one our day will be more perfect, you know? Take the class you enjoy and don`t let others opinions of your career choice affect yours. When I was in high school I wanted to be a hairdresser. My mother laughed and sent me to UNC for 4 years, I went to DC lived and worked in the fast lane trying to prove my worth to her and others, meanwhile my disease grew by leaps and bounds. Be true to you, Also about your dream of drinking, that is common among alkies I hear. I dreamed of it before and felt the same relief when I woke up, it is a blessing and a reminder, huh?

I will close my saying I am thankful for this site and the fellowship of AA, hello to Dear Fayla, Richard, Bonnie C, John C. mary, Libby W, Mike, Jason, Josh, Scott, Mark, Sanders and of course my friend Jrr. (all others too) PS to Sherri, Keith and Helen, keep coming back!


Member: Michelle G
Location: Bardstown, Ky
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 21:04:20

Comments

Michelle, alcoholic this is my first time to share on this page however I have been reading all of your comments for over a week now. I have almost 6 years in the program I can't imagine that I am shy talking to other members of this wonderful program. I do want to also say Hello to SHERRY T IN KENTUCKY. congradulations on your 30 days keep coming back because we need you. Also where in Kentucky are you? I am located in Bardstown, (about 50 south of louisville).


Member: Bruce M.
Location: New England
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 21:50:29

Comments

Resolving dilemmas: Is doing this bringing me closer to a drink or to sobriety?


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 23:19:53

Comments

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to Know the Difference. Thanks, I needed that!!!

Kerry, Alcoholic here. Reading all the shares just made me feel sooo good!! I put the serenity prayer on here purely for selfish reasons. Have not heard it or said it lately.

Amy - thanks for the hello. I have had a hard enough time adjusting to Idaho from California. I know that it would be really hard to adjust to a foreign country. That's probably an understatement. In Cal. growing up, I always met so many people from other places and I never really knew what they went through as far a the life style changes. I'm probably just a "wuss" because I still get really homesick, even though I know I can't live there anymore because of all the crime and population. etc. Sanders, you make me feel so not "alone" when it comes to Moms. My mom is 71 and has been widowed 14 years. When I left California with my family, we left Mom there for about 5 years. One day my brother called and said she couldnt live where she was anymore. She had been flipping from one place to another (never living alone, couldnt afford it anyway in L.A.) for twelve years. My husband and I charged a plane ticket for her, and told her to pack it up, she was moving to Idaho, kinda whether she liked it or not. We got her an apartment 1/2 block away (she never learned to drive) so that we could be close, but not too close. It has really been a kick watching her become independant after all these years. Sometimes I get resentful at my 2 brothers for not helping out financially, but I know that I can not afford to harbor those feelings too long. They say "What goes around, Comes around" it just isnt for me to be judging them. That's someone else's business. Being the only family here for her gets to me, and sometimes I get the picture in my head of the little girl down on the floor kicking and screaming "I don't want to", but then I laugh and it goes away. If I did not have the foundation of AA, only the good lord knows where I would be today. Thank you all for being here.


Member: KAREN L
Location: eastern us
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 23:22:48

Comments

hello everyone, i'm pretty much a newcommer to the program. i've been going to a step meeting once a week and i'm having trouble with steps 4&5. i really can't see myself telling someone i hardly know everything that is worng w/me and to go a STEP further, everything i ever did that was bad. anyone have any comments?


Member: Kerry B.
Location:
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 23:28:21

Comments

Doris - Do they have any Moose there?? Opened the door to our farmhouse one morning and came face to face with one. Felt like I was in that old show Northern Exposure. It was neat, but those Moose can get pretty mean, and pretty hurtful. Havn't seen any buzzards, but I have had an eagle fly down the road in front of our camper. Awesome!!!


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA KS
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 23:34:36

Comments

FAYLA HERE ,HAD A GOOD DAY AT WORK ,COULDNT WAIT TO GET HOME AND SEE WHAT YOU ALL ARE DOING IAM A COOK AT A NURSING HOME ,I COOK SUPPER FOR 75 TO 80 RESIDENTS ,I LOVE THESE OLD FOLKS ,ONE OF THEM IS A RECOVERING AA MEMBER,SHES A NEAT LADY ,SHE DOSENT GO TO MEETINGS IVE THOUGHT ABOUT ASKING HER TO GO WITH ME BUT SHE DOESENT SMOKE AND THAT PLACE IS SO FULL OF SMOKE I CANT HARDLY STAND IT SOMETIMES MYSELF ,AND I SMOKE MYSELF.WELCOME ALL NEW FAMILY MEMBERS TO THE COFFEE POT.I HOPE YOU KEEP COMMING BACK ,DONT LEAVE BEFOR THE MIRACLE HAPPENS ,I LOVE YOU FAYLA G.PS AMY AND MARY DID YOU RECIEVE MY EMAILS ?


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 21 Apr 1998
Time: 23:59:02

Comments

Hi Karen, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Welcome Karen, I have a daughter named Karen and I picked out her name because I think it is a beautiful name for a beautiful person and the same goes for you. You did not say how new you were, but I gather you are fairly new. In any case I am happy to see you are going to step meetings as my old home group down in central Fl. was a step study group and this is realy where I learned what little I know of this fine program. I would suggest you continue to go to step meetings, as the BB tels us here are the steps we took which are suggested as aprogram of recovery. I believe that is found on about 59 or 60. I suggest you read the entire portion pertaining to How It Works from a PERSONAL viewpoint and maybe you will gain aclearer understanding of it which can simplify it for you. Keep going to your step meetings but maybe slow down and Easy Does It on trying to get through the steps too quickly. I knew an oldtimer who used to say he was a little leary of people who got well too quickly. I almost did not put that quote of his in because I don't want you or anyone to think we don't want to see people get better because we all do, that is why we are here. What he meant was many times when people SEEM to be well into the program very quickly up and fall very quickly. What I STRONGLY suggest is for you to get a STEP oriented sponser, preferably a woman, and let her lead you through the steps at a pace you can handle. You shared that you didn"t know how you could get past the 4 and 5th step because you have to tell someone about you. I found for me that with the strong sponser's leadership and prodding that when the right time came for me I became willing. The old saying in AA is that when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear and I think you need to get your teacher to lead you. Just before the forth step, it is pointed out in the BB concerning #3 that you should think well before taking this step making SURE we could abandon ourselfs completly to Him. This is why I feel you need a sponser very badly right now before you tackle this thing alone. Good luck to you and God bless you and I hope and pray you are able to make the right decoision. SAnders


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Oregon . U S A
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 01:46:36

Comments

Kerry, No, dear heart there are no moose in Oregon, just a lot of deer and elk and antelope. I had a man working for me last summer and he saw two Puma jump my back fence, and the Doberman killed a skunk and came in and laid by my side of the bed some time back, I could write a book on that experience, tomato juice did nothing, Streight lemon juice, all the smell gone, but I sprayed her with Georgio anyway. I need to see my sponsor soon. i had a ver y upsetting conversation with someone today and i think he is using. I didn't kknow he ever did and I am very worried about his safety. He was so o o o depressed. I am praying for him. Sherri T, welcome and YOU CAN DO IT ! ! ! Keep coming back, we love you here. Ann in Bermuda, Sounds good, isn't it nice to talk about EVERYTHING here. Isn't it nice to talk about everything any where/ Never used to do that either, but now, MY new policy is NO more secrets. Secrets just get me in to all kinds of trouble. And Keith, you'll be O K, like someone said and I do love this cliche' it takes what IT takes. Now, Amy, we really do have to get to know each other. I feel so close to you. I was just in Byrne on the 7th and I wish we could have gotten together. Laura C, no I haven't lost children in recovery, but ! my 32 year old son found sobriety a few months after I did and now we are sober together. I do the whole program thing and he does 'sometimes' I wish he did nore but I have to let that go. He will do his thing in his time. But, thank God, he is sober. Sanders, , , , , , I , , , , , like , , , , you,,You are a great conversationalist and you have very good insight. And you are NBS as well. I like no bullshit people. Gotta go to bed, my eyes are closing, nite all, and God bless you, you guys in the service, , , take care and know that we are thinking of you. Love Doris


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 06:11:02

Comments

Keith, as alcoholics we can elect to kill ourselves in a hundred different ways. We can die from choking on our own vomit, being mangled in a car wreck, liver disease, simple suicide OR we can take a few simple steps and live spiritually and yet we find that a difficult choice to make.

Insanity, huh ??


Member: Jason
Location: Beirut, Lebanon
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 09:14:58

Comments

I had my first alcoholic nightmare (besides the one I lived for 9 years) the other night... dreamt I downed a bottle of bourbon and found my mother (who is Wa State) waiting up for me at home! Hope these do not last. Sanders, I like to you too-- your humor and outlook are much appreciated over here and I was deeply touched by your relationship with your mom. Regarding the point of proper Southern grammar and usage that you raised, I stand most humbly corrected! My parents are both from the "Heart of Dixie" (Alabama) but I was raised in the North (thank heavens :-) Matter of fact, if memory serves me you're only a few miles south of the Alabama border aren't you? I'm afraid I can't claim the nobility of being here in Beirut in the Service, but I appreciate your sentiments and I would pass the same on to Mike in KSA (the sandbox) and Mark at Eielson (the icebox)...

Congratulations Sherry T in Ky, I'm just starting out too...

Doris, thanks for your prayers. Your description of the local fauna warmed my heart with memories of my own home. On hot days during the summer we often see bald eagles swoop down into the pond in our pasture to bathe and cool off. When they took to wing and flew back to their roosting areas the water dripping from their feathers used to fall like rain across our porch...


Member: Doris H
Location: Ore.
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 10:40:58

Comments

W O W ! ! jason, how poetic of you, the water dripping from their wings like rain onto the porch, what a beautiful picture that paints, , , , , I thank you my man. Now, I want to tell you all a funny story. This IS the coffee pot and I like nothing better than a good cup of coffee and a nice talk with people I enjoy. Course this is rather a one sided talk, wouldn't it be great if we could all get together and meet. And see each other. Now THAT would be something. I know ! You all come to my house and I can cook for you, I am a gor-met cook. Misspelling intentional. When I was in Luxembourg I was in a very beautiful mall and on the outside was there was a sign advertising "Buffalo Bills Wild West show.( I am an Oglala sioux indian, and my great grandmother was the daughter of Codys partner in that show.) So I went in and down the center of the mall were a lot of glass cases with indian work in them. I than saw a great looking Indian man sitting at a table and signing pictures of himself and selling them. I couldn't pass this up: so ! I walked up to him and raised my right hand and said "Hau Kola" (I greet you in Lakota) It's a good thing this guy was sitting down cause he nearly fell over backwards, he looked as if he'd been shot in the chest. He jumped up and started yammering at me , in french. I made the motion of cutting my own throat and said'No parlez vou francies, american.' So he started speaking to me in Lakota and he had such a heavy french accent I had trouble with that too. So my friend interpretted for us (in french) and we had a great talk. He was sioux but raised in France. Anyway , it is a v e r y tiny little planet that we live on. So, maybe some of us could someday get together. What are the odds of a sioux from Oregon meeting a sioux in Luxembourg. Has anyone heard any good jokes lately? Have a great day all of you ! ! Love Doris


Member: Josh J.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 13:07:14

Comments

Hi Everyone! Josh, alky. I thank my HP (God) for this site and all of you. I grew up in the wooded foothills of the Cascade Mountains in SW Washington State, though I live in Portland, OR now (about an hour and a half away) My folks and their folks were raised in Kentuckey, so Sanders, your humor is "definately" appreciated. I took a trip out to my old stomping grounds the other day, went walking around out in the woods behind my folks house. I used to spend all day in those woods. As I got down to the creek I was disappointed at how different everything seemed. The aromas were about the same-moss, rich soil, new spring plants. I saw ferns and oregon grape and trilliums and clover, but it just didn't feel right and I was very, very melencholy. I thought it would be a good time to pray and thank my HP for letting me have such a fantastic childhood filled with nature's wonders and discoveries, fresh air, and wonderful parents who let me discover the woods on my own (even when I had a spurt of falling out of trees). I find that when I'm feeling self pity or frustration, if I thank God for all the great stuff He's given me, He pulls me out of the funk. I actually got down on my knees in the dirt to pray. Funny, when I opened my eyes (still on my knees), the place looked like it had when I was young. Even smelled more like it. I was looking at from a kid's height again, and I almost cried. I'm sure there's a lesson in there. I just wanted to share that with you. By the Grace of God I have 27 days today. Welcome to anyone starting out. PRAY A LOT, go to meetings, read, jump rope, whatever-- DON'T PICK UP.....it works. Anyone can mail me at joshhall@linkport.com Here's to another blessed 24 hours (I just raised my coffee cup) ~Josh (either Sam the Butcher or Tiger)


Member: Vicki B
Location: AL
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 15:29:42

Comments

Just wanted to say that I think this is wonderful I have 14 days sobriety now. Need all the encouagement out there. There really is a lot of great stories here. Thanks.


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 15:56:30

Comments

Josh, thanks for the post. I was just about to log on and tell everybody that I have been wallowing in self-pity all day and I am feeling pretty uncomfortable with this and don't want to start down that slipppery slope and wanted some help ...... I read you post first and got my answer!

My HP (God) is answering me before I even ask today --- that is even something more to be grateful for!

Karen -- I can relate to your struggles with steps 4 & 5. When I was drinking, I was pretty much an open book - inappropriately so, and people often responded to this with less than what I would call mercy. then I ended up feeling extremely vulnerable and often hurt (and bewildered) I learned during my stay in rehab that setting boundaries and appropriate sharing is okay and that we are not compelled to be open indiscreetly in order to be true to thes steps. Being honest with yourself, God and another person (or persons) that are trustworthy is how I intrepret these steps. but the key word is honest. Nothing less will do . It is kind of scarey at first, especially if you don't have a tough skin and tend to fear being vulnerable after letting it all hang out so inappropriately for so long. I am now learning two things: one is that I have a right to set my own bourndaries and share with whom I choose to and this doesn't mean I'm hiding. and two: if I don't become brutally honest with myself, God and some chosen others, then I will continue in this viscous cycle of stinking thinking, deluding myself that I am not a problem -- everyone else is. There is tremendous freedom in not hiding anymore. But there is also for me freedom in accepting that not everyone is trustworthy and I can be open with those who are, and not with those who aren't.

I couldn't tell from your post if you are having difficulty because you are in front of a whole group or difficulty with the steps even with yourself, or with just one person. I encourage you to find a sponsor that you can trust and do your steps with her. I did mine the first time and some variation the "hundreth time"( recently) with my pastor. It felt safer to me. In between there have been other trusted friends, mostly in AA. I don't see how I could have gone very far without these steps.

On the other hand I sort of envy those who can boldly be an open book and are tough enough to take what comes back at them and are so freed by not pretending anymore. I'm not one of them.

Know yourself and follow your heart about this, but make yourself be honest.

I wish you the best and welcome.


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 16:09:28

Comments

I forgot -- I wanted to say a special hi to the servicemen........ you guys are in our prayers alot, as you can see.

Have a great rest of the week


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 17:35:29

Comments

Hi everyone thanks libby and amy for the welcome I can't believe the answers iv'e got from reading your comments .I've been suffering with the poor me's to-day. My mother has alziemers and i'ts just been a bad day,but after looking over all the comments it now doesn't seem so bad (thanks) at least i'm sober and can look after her,I wouldn't have been able to otherwise in fact it would have been the perfect excuse to get drunk. anyway folks many thanks for all your help keeping me sober for another day Helen.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 21:00:13

Comments

Hi there Richard here, Jason I've had those dreams before and I think it's good to get it off your chest by sharing it with others. That way it seems to loose some of its power or shock. It is normal to have those dreams, for many people I know have had them. Well maybe not normal but common.

To all the newcomers who have been sharing I'd like to say thanks. It's good to hear that you are beginning to live life again. Don't be scared off by all the hype concerning the steps. Remember that you can always find someone bound by oath like an attorney or priest to do your confessions, or I mean 5th step with. If they give you up then they will be suspect to all of their cohorts. If you focus on doing the 4th step thoroughly, and do it as though no one will ever see it but you, then you will see yourself as you really are. Then you can start thinking about who you're going to dump this stuff on. If you do it with a member they probably have done comparable wrongs, and if you choose one bound by oath to confidentiality then you can rest assured that your secrets are kept. If someone in the program or one bound by oath did give you up then no one would believe a word they say. And, they would most likely be known as a liar or a gossip.

I've been reading but I was quite ill over the past few days. My stomach has been tied up, tied down, and spun around. But, it feels better today.

I also want Fayla and all the others here that need it to know my prayers are with you. I kind of cover everyone here with a group prayer when I pray, so no one is ever left out, and my H.P. know what each of you need so WATCH OUT. HA, HA, HA, ha, ha, ha,... Hope I didn't scare ya.

Read YOU ALL later. See ya.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 21:34:16

Comments

Hello to all, from a real alcoholis with the name of Sanders. This will be short as I am very tired tonight, I took my mother for a Drs. appt. today and then shopping and I am beat tonight and I want to get to bed early. I enjoyed your post Josh and it brought back my early strugles with prayer. My EGO nearly killed me and when I finally gave up and made a spiritual surrender was when I started to be able to move a little bit in this program. Until that happened for me, the almighty " I " tried to fix everything and I was failing terribly. I remember the first night I decided to get on my knees and pray. I went into the bathroom, closed and locked the door. I then noticed there was about a 1 1/2 inch crack at the bottom of the door and I could just imagine my wife could see my reflection on the shiney tile floor, and tell what I was doing so I turned the light off. I certainly was not going to let anyone know I was praying. I finally got the nerve to get down on my knees and pray and I tell you that was the greatest experience for me. After that one time, I was back every night, first with the light off and after awhile with it on. I later started praying by my bed. Today my prayer life is one of the most important parts of my life. I have a very close relationship with my God, am involved in my local church very much and have no conflict between them, as a matter of fact one compliments the other. Again Josh I really enjoyed your comments as they were very warm and refreshing. I am going to be kind of quiet for a few days as we are having an AA area round-up and my home group is sponsering it and I am going to try to help out a little bit, so this is going to pretty much take the wekend. I'll check the post, from time to time as I really do enjoy this site and love all you beautiful people. Fayla, I said anmother prayer for your brother while I was at church tonight. Love to all, Sanders


Member: Keith C.
Location: Castro Valley Ca.
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 21:40:31

Comments

hi all its me again just saying hi and tell you how im doing. i finally got email and im going to give it out so you people can email me so please do it id like to hear from fellow aaers well im doing alot better. to all you out there this is to you FARFIGNUGEN.............. email me please at = rhckpc@pacbell.net ill be waiting for your email........... once again its rhckpc@pacbell.com


Member: keithe c
Location: ca
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 21:54:50

Comments

oh bye the way sorry about the laugage im not usally a swearer


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville,Fl.
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 22:08:46

Comments

Hi Keith, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. I am real happy you are with us and if you think I may be able to relate something to you that may make your trip a little easier, I will be more than happy to share with you. I have seen some excellant shares on here tonight and this does my heart good. Let me know what your desires are. Write me at sanders@wfeca.net and I'll get back to you.


Member: Adèle W
Location:
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 22:14:29

Comments

Hi, this is my first time here.


Member: Linda P.
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 22 Apr 1998
Time: 23:41:51

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. I have been deeply involved with a womens AA e-mail group, and have gotten lost trying to figure out how that all works. Now that I am caught up on sharing in that group, introducing myself, and ironing out all the problems I was having with my system and network, I can settle back and have that cup of coffee and chat awhile with my friends on this site. Missed you all.

It is wonderfull to here from so many newcomers. My warmest welcome to all those who have recently stumpled onto this site, Sherri, Karen, Vicki, Helen, Keithc, are but a few of those I caught in prior postings. Keep coming back.

Linda M from Ontario, wonderful to read your post. I was glad to read that my posting of that incident was helpful for you. It was good to see that some good came out of my sharing that dreadful experience. Yours seems rather similar. Glad to here you made a decision and changed to a class better suited for you. An oldtimer once told me "Some things matter much, most things not at all." There is a lot of truth to that old addage. Just when I think my whole world is falling apart, someone puts perspective on the problem and it goes from being a major catastrophy to a minor annoyance. That is what resulted in my event of that MS Walk. Dissappointed, but not devastated. Today I know I am of average intelligence. I gear myself towards interests and goals better suited for my aptitude and ability, and do not concern myself what others may think of my choices. It is important that I do not portray myself in a manner unlike who I truly am. The real me does stand up once in a while. Usually that attracts others like myself to me, which is a lot better that coupling up with people I have nothing in common with, now that is stressful!

Thanks Bonnie C for your share on the manner of prayer you use. I like it and will probably use that one myself. Another method I have used to stop obsessing on a negative emotion or thought, one that I used until I laughed myself silly, is to picture a stop sign, and tell myself to stop it! That is called Stop Thinking. Cute, I learned that somewhere down the road.

Sanders, thanks for reminding me that prayer is very important. I have not been doing much of that lately, and my attitude has shown it. As for Church and AA not having any conflict, I agree with you 100%. I also am involved in my church. As someone put it so eloquently in a recent meeting I regularly attend, they stated that they had incorporated the church life as an extention of their 11th Step. That was such an insightful way of putting it, that I now use that expression myself.

Servicemen out there, I do appreciate hearing from you guys. Glad to here your all hanging in there one day and a time.

Bye for now. Love to all.

Linda P.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 01:50:09

Comments

I'm David and I'm a recovered alcoholic. RICHARD, DON'T YOU DARE READ MY SHARE!!! Sounds pretty recovered, huh?

Speeding on to the topic I find most interesting, I must share about drinking dreams. Like almost everybody else I would have an occasional drinking dream in my first few years of soberiety. Being a person that needed an explanation for such things I decided that the consious contact with God that enables us to stay sober doesn't exist when we are sleeping or if you will, when we are unconcious. It was a satisfactory explanation for some time.

When I was just over three years sober I had a dream in which I not only drank, I also went to a meeting and held my mud. When the leader asked if there was anyone in the group in their first thirty days I didn't cop to slipping. It really felt terrible,I felt as if I were lying to everybody in AA when I didn't fess up. It upset me so much I woke up in a sweat. I somehow can't remember very many drinking dreams since then. I guess God must have decided I needed him with me as much when I'm sleeping as I do when I'm awake.

RICHARD, EVERYONE NEEDS AN OCCASIONAL ADVERSARIAL RELATIONSHIP. Don't pray for me either, I don't need to get run over by a truck.

Seriously, thank you all for adding to my soberiety. Don't go getting upset because I like to pick on Richard. I've got a feeling he can handle it. If he is as much like me as I think he gets a healthy stimulation from the attention. If not let me know, I'll stop picking on you.

Hell, one of my friends used to refer to me as my wifes lower companion.

Love you all. DB


Member: mw
Location: ks
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 01:54:57

Comments

laura c, in beaverton....... please email me at MWMOSTEST@aol.com about your question about losing kids in sobriety... would like to share my E.S.H. with you but not here..


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 07:48:28

Comments

Just curious -- When you receive E-Mail after you have posted your address here, how do you know the person on the other end is who they say they are? For example, what if I "write" Mary, pretend to be LauraC, and ask about losing kids in sobriety?


Member: Randy D.
Location: Canton, Ohio
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 09:17:12

Comments

To all: The Big Book states that we should talk to others in a kind and loving manner. I have been sober now for 11 years and I have been through all sorts of changes. I have noticed people at meeting gossiping and talking down about others. This really hurts me and as my sponsor (who has 41 years) says ask them if they told GOD about the other person, he is the only one that can do anything about it anyway. I can only tell you that I was useless when I was focusing on the big I. The steps include we in every area, that is because without help it is too much for us to handle. I know that every meeting and every person in this beautiful program has given me a desire to live again free from the bondage of self and booze and dope. The wonderful people I have met in AA have been from every spectrum of life and they are very colorful and different, thank God for that. If I was judged by my peers and by society and given what I deserved, I would be incarcerated or worse. So lighten up and enjoy the trip, that is what AA is all about. Love Randy


Member: Jason
Location: Beirut, Lebanon
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 09:35:57

Comments

I have been characterised by my subordinates and acquaintances as having a personality comprised akin some combination of a cactus, porcupine, stinging nettles, and a viper with a few extra sets of fangs thrown in. My friends compare the ratio and distribution of my good and bad sides to the color scheme of a zebra. So as part of my voyage into sobriety I have resolved to become more Dalmation-like in my good to bad ratio. So far so good, but my Dad (to whom I have grown very close over the past few years) was a Marine and that apparently affects the genetic make-up of offspring.

Anyway, all this explanation is in aid of softening the reproachful tone that I am about to take with my cyber-friend Glen (whose other postings (particularly the one to Keith C) I have enjoyed VERY much) in pointing out that even the best of questions may be voiced with the worst of timing...

On a positive note (I'm trying to always end positively-- even f2f), I was talking with a doctor here in Beirut yesterday about alcoholism here and the different recovery options open to people who live here. Most are short term, VERY expensive and VERY private-- there is still a very strong social and religious stigma attached to alcoholism in the Middle East within both the Christian and the Muslim communities. Support groups are virtually unheard of because of social implications. Alcoholism is kept hidden, swept under the carpet. But apparently there is a growing community of recovering alcoholics here who have gained exposure to AA abroad. I don't know whether this is realistic or too optimistic, but it would be exciting to see AA get a start in this nation that has so much to recover from...

Adèle W, welcome to the group!


Member: FAYLA    G
Location: GALENA  KS
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 10:04:27

Comments

FAYLA , TO ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTER IN RECOVERY,GOOD MORNING . JASON MY PRAYERS AND LOVE ,JOSH I THINK THIS IS 28 DAYS ,I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT ,ANN C ,PRAYERS AND LOVE ,ONE DAY AT A TIME . HELEN FROM SCOTLAND I AM PRAYING FOR YOU. RICHARD THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS I LOVE YOU ALL ,LOVE TO ALI ,AMY ,LIBBY AND DORIS ,MARY ,SANDERS BONNIE ,LOVE TO BOTH LINDAS AND JRR ,JOHN ,WE ARE GLAD YOUR BACK .MAY YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD SOBER DAY FAYLA G


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 10:23:15

Comments

Richard here, I just wanted everyone too know that my prayers do cover David. But, trucks are not part of my prayer.

But anyway, David I don't mined you picking on me: as long as it keeps you coming back.

Sanders take care of yourself. It sound like an exciting life taking care of mom and all.

Anyway, I'm still feeling kind of off today, but I've still got to suite up.

Read ya all later.


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield,Ore
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 13:19:52

Comments

Good Morning ! I am Doris, another recovering alsoholic, Josh, Portland Ore. I loved your story of your prayer & flashback in the woods, that is where I feel closest to God too, I live in Springfield, 1 1/2 hrs. from Portland. 27 days sober and the rest of your life to go, but One day at a time. isn't it great? I just keep thinking " Gee, I don't have to do that anymore ! ! ! I am praying for you. Vicki B So ! you have 14 days ( I say this with a smile and a hug) I, like so many others, want to welcome you. you bought the ticket, now ! Enjoy the cruise, I had a guy say to me in my first 30 days, "Grab your ass and hang on, cause you're in for the ride of your life, I didn't know what he meant at the time, I was still on a pink cloud, but now I do and you will find out too. It's a great ride but it is not easy. Martina, didn't Josh's letter take you back? It did me and he made me think and appreciate the whole process and program. Fayla, you're so sweet, here's a cyber rose for you @>-----, and one for your brother too along with my prayers. Sanders:I have observed that a good son makes for a good husband. I like your philosophy and your sense of humor. Adele W, welcome (join the family.) Glen H. I guess we will just have to trust that people are honost, what else can we do? By the way, the mare is getting V E R Y big. She is also getting fat, and clumsy, and cranky, I can relate. I remember how I felt. I am getting so excited about the baby. This baby is going to have the longest name in the history of horses. I want to see what it looks like, NOW. Typical impatient alcoholic. This is a good lesson for me. Patience has always been a problem for me. Have a good day , I am praying for all of you as well as myself. I have to do a million errands today and I think I will stop at the church and get on my knees and pray a while. I also think I will light a candle for you all. God be with you, Doris


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 14:24:19

Comments

the story i have to share with laura is something that i do not feel comfortable printing it in such a public place, however if i get played false by an unknown and they publish it in the national enquirer it would be in gods hands. i have some faith in the people who come here and post, but the unknowns i do fear... so let it be known that MWMOSTEST@aol . com is my secondary email acct. that if violated i can drop in a heart beat..... if you feel cheated that i do not choose to share this particlular ESH with all of you.....oh well.... the same would and has happened at f2f meetings....there are several members of this group that has my primary email that i trust .....and i'm glad i did... if anyone wants to write me at the MWMOSTEST address feel free.... i have to trust that you are who you say you are..... the same as i would have to in any meeting.

hugs,

mary w.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 15:48:56

Comments

now you can see why I call mary w this Circus Bear's handler.... love you lady... peace,jrr

ps---- all newcomers... just stick around, listen to learn...and learn to listen.. And AAmy G... thanks for lovely card.... God Bless you and all others over there yonder... God Bless those Tarheels... and lets go Panthers...! !


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 15:59:52

Comments

Helen, I think my mother has alzheimer's disease too - she hasn't been diagnosed yet because she and my 83 yr old father are in denial and really are scared to death to find this out. Sometimes she is okay and then other times she isn't, so I think this is the beginning, but it is really sad, isn't it? I can't imagine facnig these kinds of life issues as an active drunk. Do you have any advice on how "pushy" I should be or not be about trying to persuade my mother to see a doctor? she hasn't been responsive so far. Keeps changing the subject and ignoring me.

thanks


Member: Susie S.
Location: Dallas,TX
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 16:56:40

Comments

Hi Everybody!! Susie, a GRATEFUL recovering alcoholic here. I haven't been to this site in a couple of months - so much has happened lately - it's so good to read all the GREAT suggestions and comments everyone has!!! I read the WHOLE coffee pot (it took me a while) and really needed to hear what EVERYONE has had to say. THANKS EVERYONE!!!

To Doris: I am a twin too, and we are both in recovery. I just wanted to share that with you because I really enjoyed reading everything you've had to share. And as far as the name for your horse, I really liked "Stepper" -

To Amy in the Netherlands: I am originally from Tennessee, so when you said your best friend was a twin from TN, I thought that was pretty cool.

To Everyone: PEACE AND LOVE - Will be back soon!!!


Member: John C.
Location: Ohio
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 17:14:09

Comments

Hi all, Josh you took me back. life was so much simpler when all I wanted to do was catch a snake and scare the girls. thanks to booze, I became the snake and the girls should have screamed and ran away.... When I was in treatment and they dimmed the lights and asked me to imagine my HP, I visualized the busch beer commercial, you know, "head for the mountains". I figured if I were God thats where I'd be. I'd rather be in the woods or on the water than anywhere else.

On the 5th step, I know a guy who went down to Daytona for bike week, found a wino and offered him a jug of wine to listen to his 5th. The important thing to remember is you don't have an original sin in AA. somebody else did it too. Alot of people get drunk they're worse than anyone else and they don't deserve to recover. NOT. Keep coming back...


Member: John C
Location: Ohio
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 17:24:04

Comments

excuse the typo. THINKING they're worse than any one else


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 17:36:08

Comments

Thanks, Mary. It was just an honest question no matter what others read into it. Being new to cosmic space, I thought that there was probably some safeguard (like the 2nd address) that could be used. I'm not so sure about the "same as in any other meeting" though. At least F2F you can look around and see who is listening to your confession. The "net" just doesn't seem real secure to me. Didn't a gay man just get into trouble with the military by coming out on the net?


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 18:10:10

Comments

Hi Everyone! Wow! There sure are alot of us-- I would like to Welcome Adele and Vicki.The short time I have been here it seems as though instead of stumbling down we are all stumbling in. And what a great place to stumble into. Hey, Kieth so glad you got on line w/your e-mail. I was talking to a guy this am and told him about this line and my e-mail and he likened it to him getting his paper each morning. I usually start my day here with coffee and a smoke.I don't have time to enter any thing as I travel 30 min to my mtng each am.And goodness knows I don't want to be late-- Afraid I'll miss something.I am starting to feel that way about here too!Look for an e-mail from me-Ok?

Glen I liked your comparison. I feel the same-- There have been many times I have seen deals on here "The Net" and fear giving any info about myself on line. I even felt that way when I first came on stayingcyber. I'm getting better though--Here I mean. Today I found myself taking inventories at the mtng. and became aggitated with myself--Self talk was not helping I almost left at the break but hung in there since I know that is a red flag for me. AHH dicipline is a bite sometimes.Someone told me once "you cannot change by doing the same things" Sooo I stayed

Thanks all for being here and helping me with my recovery-- Peace Libby


Member: mike w
Location: saudi arabia
Date: 23 Apr 1998
Time: 22:55:55

Comments

Hey everyone, mike w. here, and I'm a real alcoholic. Glad that everyone is here. I'm still here in Saudi Arabia, glad that I have been able to get on the stayingcyber line. I feel like I can relate to most of you all, just like at a f2f meeting. My typing is pretty lame, but it's getting better. Life is okay here, a little hot for my taste, usually over 100 everyday. at least I can hop on the computer and find some serenity, and good old AA when I need it. No alcohol here, but as you know bottles were only symptoms, I have to constantly work on my character defects.......Doing 12+ hour days, 7 days a week pretty much, doesnt leave a whole lotta time, but I read my meditations each day, and read the BigBook....for me I have to stay centered in the literature, or I start wanting to change the program around to suit me, and that's not a good thing. Welcome to all the new comers, hang in there...DON'T TAKE THAT FIRST DRINK, AND YOU WON'T GET DRUNK....read the bigbook, and go to alot of meetings. I've heard some great experience here, and I've taken alot onboard. thanks again for my sobriety. I'll include you all (too many to mention by name, plus wouldn't want to miss anyone) in my prayers. ODAAT.......mike w


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA KS
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 00:24:11

Comments

HELLO, FROM GRATFULL FAYLA,HI ADELE,PLEASE COME BACK AND TALK AND REMMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE,KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,IT ONLY GETS BETTER,VICKY SAME GOES FOR YOU .SANDERS MY OLDEST DAUGHTERS NAME IS KAREN TOO.I LOVE YOU ALL ,THANK YOU FOR THE ROSE DORIS ,YOUR A WONDERFULL LADY.AMY AND MARY I NEED TO KNOW IF YOU RECEVED MY EMAIL,DONT KNOW FOR SURE IF THIS THING IS WORKING RIGHT LOVE YOU ALL FAYLA


Member: kimberly  D.
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 02:34:35

Comments

Hi, my name is Kimberly and i'm an alcoholic. I have 4 yrs. & 5 mo. This is a first for me. I rarely even go to regular meetings. I'm feeling awful tonight. I'm finding it hard to reach out by calling friends on the phone, but at least i'm reaching out here. Better than isolating completey. All your stories are great. It just makes me realize how important AA is. I really need the program in my life, but I have a hard time showing up. I'm scared. I was working on my 4th step, and have so far abandoned it. I basically have stayed sober with lots of therapy and by training in the martial arts. I'm hoping that by talking to other alcoholics on-line, it might help. All I know is I need AA. Thanks for your time and your stories. Kimberly


Member: Debbie H.
Location: Co Co County Calif.
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 03:11:44

Comments

Hello there, my name is Debbie H. and am an alcoholic/addict. I come to you for the first time on the internet in this very moment. What a moment it is. I have been waiting to do this for some time and what an experience it is. Being sober and living in the 90's.....Never imagined it to be so good. I am feeling for the women who just wrote in. Life and isolation can do that to many of us. It will pass, like the slogan says..."this to shall pass" Being clean and feeling all those, you know, feelings can be pretty overwhelming at times. I continue to use the slogans to get me through the strange and uncomfortable times. It's been a day for me today. It's my 3 year anniversary with my lover and find that life on life's terms sometimes doesn't turn out the way you expect them too. Thank God for AA. My partners mother is very ill with SP and is getting worse by the day, so my partner is 150 miles away and we are having our own celebration this evening. I am on the internet. Very grateful you all are here and I can read so many responses and comments. Thanks. It's interesting how God works in my life. Thank God i don't have to drink over it, Amen. That door is no longer open for me and the steps keep climbing me into a new world. I truly believe that there are no mistakes and everything happens for a reason. My point of view is that "I can't, God can--I think I'll let him" Keeps it real simple for me in my life. Until the next visit...Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 07:13:24

Comments

God morning everyone,

Welcome Kimberly and Debbie ! Kimberly, use this site as often as you need to "talk". Maybe it will be a good way for you to begin to open up some and get some things off your chest with AA friends and maybe you will begin to feel a little less afraid. We can all relate and your honesty about that is a good thing. Stay close!

Mike W --- Good Morning Saudi Arabia,( but for you it is now afternoon.) I'm especially so glad for you and the others in your shoes that you can connect with others via the internet.

Glen, I work for the IS director of my company and he always says that you can assume the internet is never completely secure, But there are a few things you can do if you are interested in making it a little more so. Setting up separate email accounts with assumed names can help some. And, like Mary said, dump it in a flash if need be. I have a juno account separate from my other email addresses, as my other addresses are used for work and I wouldn't be able to get rid of them if need be. The other thing is that you also never know if someone is for real or bogus. I don't care so much about that, and figure that's their problem. My boss is a little paranoid because he has to be given his job, but he insists on alot of security, like passwork protected documents and files, separate email accounts, encrypted intercompmay email. On this site, I wouldn't share anything that would devastate me if someone read it (like if my boss stumbled on it). Just some thoughts. Everybody has their own point of view on this. Anybody can set up a juno account if you are interested.

Have a good day everbody!


Member: Jason
Location: Beirut, Lebanon
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 07:27:29

Comments

Hi, this is Jason the alcoholic in Beirut. Kimberly your share really touched me-- first of all, congratualations on nearly 4 1/2 years of sobriety; I'm still looking forward to my second month... I've only been "online" here for two weeks and yet this group has become one of the mainstays of my sobriety. I wish I has seen your posting earlier today-- I used to live in LA (it's where I began my fall) and I now how isolated you can feel there surrounded by millions of other people-- point being I've already seen what a great day 24 April is-- because I woke up to hot sunny day without a hangover despite having gone out last night. Sure, I must have drank a liter of cranberry juice, but that makes today wonderful for me. I hope and will pray that you find something in today that makes it wonderful and special for you too. That goes for all of you! Jrr in particular-- sounds as though you could use a boost (from one bear to another). We have another long holiday weekend here so I will look forward to rejoining you on Tuesday and will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

P.S. Fayla, you are precious.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 11:11:03

Comments

Thanks Martina. What got me thinking about it was the share over on the step page. God, preachers and others may forgive us but the legal system doesn't usually. Neither does the IRS. I can just imagine my ex-wife E-mailing me pretending to be "SoberMary@aol.com" and asking questions about custody, etc.


Member: FAYLA G
Location: GALENA  KS
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 11:21:31

Comments

FAYLA ,GOOD MORMING EVERY BODY,JASON YOU ARE A SWEETHEART,I WILL BE GOING TO WORK SOON ,AND ITS MY WEEKEND OFF,I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ,I CAN SEE THAT GOD LIVES IN ALL OF YOUR HEARTS.I FIND IT HARD TO BE AROUND PEPOLE WHO ARENT IN RECOVERY,I WANT TO SHAKE THEM SOMETIMES AND SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO HUG THEM AND TELL THEM YOU DONT HALF TO LIVE LIKE THAT ANY MORE,BUT SOMETIMES I KNOW THERE JUST NOT READDY ,I HAVE ALOT OF COWORKERS WHO STILL USE AND I LOVE THEM ,I DONT GET INTO THERE BUISNESS,I JUST PRAY AND HOPE I SEE SO MUCH OF MYSELF IN THEM,THE LIES THE MISSING WORK.THE HURT AND THE ANGER AND THE GUILT.I DONT MISS IT I CANT HELP IT I HURT FOU THEM ,OF MAYBE IAM HURTING FOR ME . HEARS TO ANOTHER SOBER WEEKEND I LOVE YOU ALL FAYLA DONT YOU FORGET IT.


Member: Linda M
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 14:25:06

Comments

Hi everybody, Linda M alcoholic. Thanks Amy for your welcome and comments about my situation. Also thanks to Linda P. The "Some things matter much, most things not at all" saying really was humbling and reminded me that even though I've heard sayings similar to this one and know it to be true, I definitely need reminding!

Welcome Karen, the things Sanders and someone else said to you were right on and I can't add anything to them. Just hang in and keep coming back.

Kimberly, don't be scared. I've heard it said that AA is really the "easier softer way". I get the help I need here which enables me to carry on better in the rest of my life. No doubt martial arts is good for you and I myself had to seek extra help in the form of therapy, but AA is what made my life turn around most. I know a guy here who was sober for about 10 years without going to AA. He's now been in the program for about 2 years and says he is just now finding out what true serenity, and love really are. He says that he doesn't even consider his dry time before AA as "sobriety" as it doesn't compare to the sobriety he enjoys today. We're all scared at times but the more we face those fears instead of avoiding or running, the more we grow and realize they were just boogeymen (or boogeypersons for the sake of political correctness!)BG (Big Grin)

Thanks to all for being here!

Love Linda M


Member: The Steering Committee
Location:
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 16:38:33

Comments

We recieved an e-mail from a member expressing concerns about e-mail addresses being posted on this site

There have been many questions raised about our ID being protected against other people stalking members via Staying Cyber. Can other members find our E-mail or other addresses via staying Cyber?

This is the Steering Commitee's opinion on this it will be added to the FAQ Page also.

As stated in our guidelines, under CAUTION!

The Steering Committee would like to warn all members that posting ANY personal information (E-mail or Postal addresses, phone numbers, etc.) anywhere on the WWW can be risky.

Any time you post your e-mail address on a public website, you are opening yourself up to e-mail from anyone who views the site, as well as e-mail spammers who use spiders that search web pages and collect e-mail addresses for mass marketing.

When the steering committee was forming our guidelines, we thought of emphasizing this more strongly (that you SHOULD NOT POST E-MAIL ADDRESSES on the site), but drunks don't follow orders to well anyway, any many are finding meaningful contacts through e-mail exchange. So we chose the simple warning in the Guidelines page.

If you post any personal information on the Staying Cyber web site it is entirely your decision, and you assume all risks!

When we first started this meeting we tried to set up a membership sign up, and e-mail contact list, for online sponsors etc. The Secretary was quickly overwhelmed, and we realized these things could not be handled manually. So we have stooped the membership signup. ANY E-MAIL ADDRESSES THAT WERE OBTAINED WHEN THIS WAS SETUP ARE HELD IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE AND WILL NOT BE RELEASED TO ANYONE. The same hold true for any e-mail addresses obtained when you e-mail a Steering Committee member.

We are looking for an automated solution to the Membership, e-mail sponsorship dilemma. But would only implement something if anonymity and privacy can be guaranteed. We will bring it to the members if we find one.

Thank you, The Steering Committee Barry L. - Tech


Member: Jack C.
Location: Flagstaff, AZ
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 18:59:24

Comments

Martina G:Just read your post from Thursday about alzheimers. My 83 year old dad was recently diagnosed with it-is truly a difficult situation. E-mail me if you wish (basically just my ESH to offer) to discuss. punjack@mailcity.com Peace and Love and another 24 hours to all.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 19:44:39

Comments

Richard here, I had a pretty good day today. But hey, even my bad days are somewhat manageable today. Please no comments or sermons about the word manageable: unless you need one. Ha, ha, ha,ha,ha. Let's just say that by somewhat giving up my "managing position" my days are more manageable. Well I hope all is well with Fayla, Sanders, his mom, and all of those who need concern. I pray for everyone here at my home group. Well one of my home groups. And, my H.P. already knows what you need, so be awaitin.

Keepin it real, keepin it sane, keepin it clean, and keepin it sober here on my side of the street. Hope ya all have a good 24. Read ya later.


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 20:48:51

Comments

Hi everyone, Linda an alcoholic. A big welcome to Kimberly and Debbie. This site has truly been a life saver for me also. My first time was this past Easter. I have been jumbing on here every chance I can to see the latest in the postings.

Kimberly I do not know the circumstances behind your situation that has resulted in your pulling away from meetings, but I have had similar experiences of not wanting to go to meetings at different periods of time in my sobriety. Shame was one, after a relapse experience in 1984. A few other times it was over fear of someone who seemed out of control that was attending the meetings where I was going, or a resentment that hovered in my mind over a person's sarcasam, rudeness, or profanity. Each time I dealt with why in a 10th Step inventory. If I found I needed to make amends to clear the slate, then I did. If I needed to accept others and practice the slogan "live and let live," then I prayed for the willingness to allow others the right to be wrong, and to pray for them as well. If it was a matter of intolerance, usually I needed to accept some are sicker than others, and that can include me! Ha Ha. At times of intolerance, the Serenity Prayer comes in pretty handy.

I have dry spells from time to time where the spiritual connectness does not seem to be there. No matter what I go to meetings, and this generally passes in time. While that is happening I get pretty miserable. Opening up and telling others about that state of mind had helped me a lot. I found a lot of people go through these phases from time to time and get mighty ungrateful or discontented with life. So when those times come where I get those strange "mental blank spots" I just hang in no matter what, and those feelings pass away and allow me to enjoy sobriety again eventually.

Love to all,

Linda P.

For sunnier days ahead. Love to all.

Linda P..


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA  KS
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 21:35:57

Comments

FAYLA HERE, WELCOME DEBBIE H AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.THANK YOU RICHARD,YOUR PRAYERS ARE MOST WELCOME AND NEEDED.LOVE FAYLA


Member: Jim
Location: Missouri
Date: 24 Apr 1998
Time: 23:15:22

Comments

Good Evening, Jim Alcoholic.Welcome to the new and not so new I walked in and out the doors for many years. I was unwilling to follow directions or take actions if you like.My unwillingness kept me drunk and my willingness helped me to get sober and stay sober. If you are new f2f and sponsorship than cyber can be some icing on your cake. Been my ESH works well for the ones with time. David your 4-21-98 post FYI Recovered 12 times, Recovering 1 time. Times stated in the Book Alcoholics Anonymous.Steps 4&8 are the steps where we begin to write our way to freedom. Remember there are only 2 kinds of days Good Days & the Days I dont get my own way. ........odat....j.v.....7-29-75


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 00:30:46

Comments

Hi to all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. It is now 11:30 and I have to be back down to help with our AA round-up early in the AM and I just wanted to say I could hardly wait to get home tonight to read the latest posts and to see how everone was doing. I really do like this site and find that it is very good for me. To all the people who have just found us, I am glad you did as we need you and you just may need us. All I can say to you quickly before having to go to bed is to hang around long enough for the miricle to happen. Love to all and I'll check in again tomorrow pm when I get back from the round-up and dance to follow. Sanders


Member: Doris
Location: In the Northwest
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 01:51:00

Comments

Hi you all, I am Doris and I am an alcoholic, LindaP I liked what you had to say in your last post, made me think. You all make me think, spent a few years doing as little of that as possible and now I can do it rather well, I sure don't ever want to give that up again. Sanders, Richard, Fayla, Amy and the rest of you, especially you new to Staying Cyber, I do love you all and you all help me so o o o much. Where would I be without ya ! ? ! So, I will try to be brief but it is so hard when talking to friends and exciting things are happening.I can't believe how much I care about a bunch of people I have never seen and probably never will. Isn't this great ? So, now - - - - - - - Shunka (the wonder horse) is doing what is called in the horse world 'making a bag'. She is getting more ready to foal than I wanted her to. She is not due for 19 days and will probably foal within 10. But ! This is her first foal and ya never know. I got the foaling kit and the barn ready anyway. I can't wait. But i wish she would wait till her due date. It is dangerous for horses to do it any way but by the numbers. But, she is a mustang and they are rugged. I hope you all don't get sick of hearing about horse stuff. You see, 18 months ago i lost my best friend, Luta, another mustang that I had had for more than 20 years. I'm afraid Shunka has some pretty big shoes to fill. Luta had 29 blue ribbons, did the special Olympics with hundreds of olympians - - and did search and rescue. To say nothing of being my companion and she NEVER let me down. She was my friend. I miss her. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over it. I have a great family but there is nothing like having a horse that listens,and takes care of you when you need it. You know what I used to do in my drinking days? Out in the country, after dark I could get on her, on a bare back pad, in my nightdress, in the barn. I could put the cordless phone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other and ride all over the field talking to my sister long distance.. No hands, just guiding her with my legs. Then ! I could ride back into the barn aisle and turn around and change the tape, fill the glass and ride back out without spilling a drop. She took care of me. I told this story in the care unit and a guy said, "I quit too soon, I want to do that". I hope he never tries. It wasn't very smart. . . . . . . Well ! It's been another sober week, THANK GOD. Almost time for another topic and a new pot of coffee. Keep doing the good stuff. May the Great Spirit walk with all of you in sobriety, Hihe`ya heya ya (till the next time we meet and talk) Doris


Member: angie s
Location: north dakota
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 02:04:21

Comments

Hi I'm Angie never been here before how are you all doing?


Member: David B.
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 02:34:59

Comments

I'm David and I'm a recovered alcoholic. I am so grateful that I haven't had to take a drink since my first meeting that I'm incapable of articulating the depth of my feelings.

During the first meeting I ever attended I knew absolutely for sure that I had come home. I was 6'2" tall and weighed in at a hefty 150 lbs. The majority of my body weight was made up of bones. I knew I was beaten and had come to the program looking for help. The dozen other members in that meeting all read my mail. I was certain nobody thought like me or felt like me or did the things that I had done. Those dozen other people had not only shared my experiences, some of them had done a better job of beating themselves up than I had.

I fell in love with the program. I got a sponsor and called him every day. I began studying the big book, began writting, and most importantly went to as many meetings as I could squeeze in. During my first five years I was always at a minimum of ten meetings a week. As the years have passed I have decreased my attendance at meetings to the point where I am getting most of my AA from f2f with friends that are active in the program and the vicarious pleasure I derive from this webb site. I still have a telephone relationship with my original sponsor. The only reason that relationship has dinegrated into a phone friendship is that I moved 1,000 miles away, he was mad for a couple years.

I only tell my story here to offer some kind of encouragement to the newcomers. To be honest there are more of you than I can commit to memory. Welcome home. The doors of AA do swing both ways. My experience has shown me there is no need to pass in and out and in and out before making a decision to stay. I have been here clean and sober since Sept. 8, 1981. Even though I am not a "regular" at conventional meetings I continue to live the steps on a daily basis. I don't have any plans on getting into recovery. The writers of the big book were thoughtful enough to tell me "precisely how they recovered". I have been following their recipe since 81 and see no reason to change horses at this late point in the game.

Thank you all for being an important part of my soberiety. DB


Member: Don C
Location: Florida
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 02:36:39

Comments

Greetings Friends of Bill and Bob! We at Vision Farms have found your Web Page on the Net and and would like to bring to your attention our own page. Vision Farms is a 11th step meditation and retreat center which, of course, is not affilitated with Alcoholics Anonymous, but is a place for recovering alcoholics to meditate and celebrate the joys of sobriety. Mediation retreat weekends are help regularly and the facility is available non-AA related retreats as well. We are non-profit organization and exist only to serve those who seek a higher power. Please have a look at our page and feel free to add us to your links. Our URL is http://members.aol.com/visionfarm


Member: Josh J.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 02:43:24

Comments

Hi Everyone! Josh/alky here.

I am so happy to tell you guys that tomorrow (I pray) I will be picking up my 30 day coin. I am so overwhelmed it's hard to get myself ready for bed (it's 11:40pm here). I just wanted to say that you all (I mean all y'all) have been sent to me from God to help with this miracle. I can't tell you how much love God has given me for all of you, and I thank Him so much. I don't know if I would have lasted one f2f meeting if it hadn't been for a Coffee Pot member who left his email address (Arin) a month ago. He lives in California and he has been checking up on me from the get-go, and sharing a lot and giving me things to think about, much like all of you. God's given me a super sponsor and is blessing me constantly with new friends, and new chores that I have an eagerness to complete. Doris, I'm praying for your horse, and praying that your HP fills the hole left by the loss of your friend with His love. Fayla, my spirits rise everytime I see your name on here. I pray that God continues to fill you with peace and joy. Sanders...what can I say. You are a very wise man and share things in a way that even a hard-headed dope like me can't help but take to heart. My Grandpa (he died with 40+ years sober last year) told me that a knowledgeable man knows a lot, but a wise man applies those things he's learned to his life. May we all grow wiser, one day at a time. You are all in my prayers. Love and hugs, Josh


Member: kimberly D.
Location:
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 02:59:36

Comments

Hello, Kimberly alcoholic here. I just want to thank Martina G., Jason, Linda M. & Linda P. for recognizing my story, and welcoming me. Jason, when you told me my story touched you, it brought tears to my eyes. I guess i'm feeling a little emotional lately. I really appreciate all the advice. Especially the advice directed at me today from all 4 of you. There is so much love in this program, I just wish I could commit more. I will probably attend my first meeting in 2 months this Sunday. I'm taking someone newly sober to this meeting. It's someone I care about and want to help. I feel I'm being a little selfish because I'm using it as an excuse to get my butt to a meeting. I guess that's a good thing. Why is this so hard for me? Always has been. That's all I want to say for tonight. Again, thank you all. KD


Member: April (ape) H
Location: B'HAM, WA
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 03:32:10

Comments

good morning everyone. finally found this site a couple of days ago. thought it would be a good day to say hello and an interesting behinning to my 34th chronological birthday. It should be interesting condidering that I cannot remember the last birthday that I spent without drinking. Josh, congratulations...I can relate to your excitement....I received my 1 month coin on the 21st of this month...it was pretty special, not only were people that knew me suprised....but, I was simply amazed. Always knew there was a god....probably the only reason that I am still alive...but it was definitely a miracle to make it this far. thanks for letting me share.


Member: April (ape) H
Location: B'HAM, WA
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 03:33:26

Comments

good morning everyone. finally found this site a couple of days ago. thought it would be a good day to say hello and an interesting behinning to my 34th chronological birthday. It should be interesting condidering that I cannot remember the last birthday that I spent without drinking. Josh, congratulations...I can relate to your excitement....I received my 1 month coin on the 21st of this month...it was pretty special, not only were people that knew me suprised....but, I was simply amazed. Always knew there was a god....probably the only reason that I am still alive...but it was definitely a miracle to make it this far. thanks for letting me share.


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 03:59:52

Comments

Hey to all, Amy an alcoholic. Josh you deserve congratulations on your 30 day chip. I remember it took me a few months of effort but it was a milestone for me. You have made it through the worst part in my opinion and way to go. Fayla I still pray for your brother and am glad you have the weekend off but knowing you you will be cooking lots of great food for a family crowd or so. Hey Doris and Kerry, Sanders, Jrr, and all. I have been BABYSITTING the last 2 days for a good girlfriend, a 3 year old girl and a 10 mo, old baby boy. The baby was no trouble but the toddler...I have been praying for children but as they say the HP won`t give you more than you can handle. I was so exhausted after each day, I really feel for mothers with more than 1 child. Glad to be back, everyone have a sober and great weekend! Amy G.C.


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 09:38:05

Comments

hello everybody,helen the alcoholic here Martina G alzheimers is a dreadful illness my mum has had it for 4yrs now at first we thought she was just forgetful but then she started saying family members were stealing money from her,and although you know in your heart that they would never do that ,she was so adamant that she had us doubting each other I took her to the doc. and a simple blood test verified it ,sometimes I think I may be going that way to she has me so convinced of certain things and i should know that it's not true. we can't leave mum for even a half hour on her own as she wanders out into the main street without shoes on ,sad isn't it,but as I said before I'm sure my higher power got me sober for a reason and for that i'm truely grateful. if you would like to E-mail me I would be happy to share my ESH with you , Thanks to you all for all your shares on this site it helps me so much .


Member: Helen M
Location: Scotland
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 09:45:55

Comments

Hi Helen the alcoholic back again Martina G I forgot to give you my address i'ts Helen.Mac@btinternet.com. BFN


Member: Linda P.
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 11:41:43

Comments

Good morning everyone, Linda, an alcoholic. It is wonderful to hear the good news Josh, 30 days is an accomplishment. I can surely understand your excitement. When I look back at my 1st 30 days in the program I hardly could believe that so many 24 hours had been lived without pouring down my throat that booze I had kept company for so many years.

Kimberly, wonderful to hear you plan to get to a meeting. Service is a great way to get you back into the swing of things. One time in my sobriety I was truly feeling low, then a newcomber came into my life and we began to work the BB one-on-one through the steps. It was such a marvelous boost to feel useful and the experience was a refreshing reminder that I need to continue working steps and working with others for the welfare of my own sobriety.

I am going out for breakfast this morning. Just could not bring myself to stand at the stove on this warm and sunny day. Then it is off to the bookstores to in search of old texts. I would love to find the first edition to the BB sometime. Some people are real lucky. The closest I came to that original book was when someone offered one to me to read. Some of the stories are different, and the language is just a little different in spots. It was fun to look over the changes made from one edition to another.

Well, bye for now, catch up to all of you later.

Linda P.


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 12:24:55

Comments

My name is Suzanne and I am an alcoholic.

I currently have run out of all patience and tolerance.

For the past 2 days I have been having mega problems with AOL. I am asking any other AOL members to please share your experiences with me. I would communicate with you there, but, AOL keeps bumping me. Please tell me that I am not alone. That's all I want to know. Is it just me?

Oh, and hello to everyone else Luv Suzanne H.


Member: Jane
Location: Ma.
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 14:18:11

Comments

Congratulations Josh. Welcome newcomers. Doris, you are a treasure and a fine writer. Put all these great vignettes in a book, girl! Love to all, Jane.


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 19:06:50

Comments

DEAR ONES, FAYLA HERE,SUZANNAE H,NO YOUR NOT ALONE,IAM PRAYING FOR YOU,WE DRAW STRENGTH FROM EACH OTHER THATS HOW IT WORKS FOR ME,I LOST SOME OF MY HOPE UNTIL I GOT ON HERE,AND IVE LEARNED THAT THERE ARE SO MANY LOVEING CAREING PEOPLE,HERE AND IN AA ,THAT WILL LOVE YOU ,AND CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY,NOMATTER HOW SMALL IT SEAMS TO YOU,THEY WILL GIVE EVERY THING THEY HAVE TO GUIDE YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ,I LOVE YOU,AND GOD LOVES YOU MORE. FAYLA G


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 19:15:25

Comments

TO JOSH ,ITS YOUR DAY ,I WISH YOU LOVE AND A WHOLE NEW WAY OF LIFE ,ONE DAY AT A TIME.LOVE FAYLA


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 19:17:17

Comments

TO JOSH ,ITS YOUR DAY ,I WISH YOU LOVE AND A WHOLE NEW WAY OF LIFE ,ONE DAY AT A TIME.LOVE FAYLA


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario  Canada
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 21:54:10

Comments

AOL problems: I thought I did everything except throwing the computer out the window...And then along came Our Fayla and said a prayer(I forgot about prayer)everything seems to be working fine now...THANKS FAYLA for the prayer!!

Suzanne H.


Member: Technical Cyrvant
Location:
Date: 25 Apr 1998
Time: 22:52:09

Comments

The meeting is now closed

Please do not post any more comments until the meeting is reset for the next week

Thanks SC Tech