Member: Richard
Location: Ca
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 01:07:53

Comments

Hi there fellow alcoholics, this is in regards to Libby W.'s research results. Libby you sound like a truly analytical person. I truly admire those who think through statements rather than just excepting them as fact. I must admit that I was not clear as to what I meant as the "Big Book". I was referring to the first 164 pages which is the guide set out by the first 100 members of AA These first 164 pages are the first edition of the "Big Book". It is this portion of this the third edition which kept, and keep, so many people sober long before meetings were so readily available. Now, the pages you refer to are from the personal stories, which are nice, but they are more like being at a meeting. Though the personal story section is useful, how to work the program is contained in the first 164 pages. I've read many of the personal stories and find them inspirational, but when I speak of the " Big Book" I speak of the book that Bill and the other 100 or so original members of AA wrote. It is the book that saved my spirit and so many other poor sots like me from following a drunken path into oblivion. I love AA and all, well most, of the other sober drunks I've met. So, don't get me wrong I'm not trying to tear down anyone's theories or ideologies concerning recovery. I just call them as I see them. To the new comer don't concern yourself with this B.S. just focus on going to meetings and not drinking in between. Also, finding a sane, insightful, and semi-egoless sponsor may help anchor you into the program and is a good idea. Again Libby I really like your style don't ever stop questioning people it is the only way you'll find the truth: in my opinion. The original 164 page big book is the atlas for recovery, and the stories keep us company and add perspective when meetings aren't available or your H.P. seems distant.

Thanks to all you fellow drunks who have been helping to keep me sober through spiritual unity. King alcohol isn't worth fighting any longer, for our H.P.'s have seemingly liberated us from his iron grip. God/H.P. bless.


Member: Ruth C
Location: Sitka, Alaska
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 02:03:34

Comments

I also agree with what you are talking aboit. I was told right from the very start when I entered into Alcoholice Anonymous that the first 164 pages of the Big Book is what I need to stay on, and that's what I still do as of today. One day at a time. That's what I tell all the people that I work with and the people who I sponsor as well. I have 26 years in recovery.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 03:08:54

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic. It is true that when I was new I was told that the program was in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. I was also told that AA is full of "sick people" and to watch out for them. The problem was, I was so sick, I did'nt know what "sick" was. Get what I mean?? I would not have been able to pick out a "sane, insightful, and semi-egoless sponser" I do agree with most of what Rich has shared, it's just that after 18 years clean & sober I do still remember what it was like when I came in, and I was one sick and confused girl. If I had the capabilty from the beginning to "do the right things" in sobreity I would have. Unfortuneatly, I had to "plow head first" into many walls (sometimes the same wall over and over again) to finally learn to "turn left" ( as Bobby E. in So. Calif. used to share) when I was headed toward that wall again. Staying sober entails doing many things, and they vary with each individual. Reading the book, working steps and helping others are a must. I have received help through the years from many people, even the sick ones that have shared with me even when they may have not truly understood what they were saying (parroting what they had heard someone else say). God does work in mysterious ways. I have learned to keep my eyes and ears open at all times because I truly don't always know from who or where I might get a message from my Higher Power. I am not totally free from judgement of my fellow AA members, perhaps someday, then again maybe not. After all, its a journey that has no known ending. Thanks for listening (reading). Now, where's those jelly beans??


Member: Jane  M.
Location: Ma.
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 08:27:29

Comments

Thank you Rich, Ruth and Kerry for you delightful sharings on this sunny, sober morn! One of this things I love about this site is the regional variations in "suggestions" for staying sober in AA, yet the universality of the steps and slogans. My neck of the woods did't stop at the first 164 pages of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous). Old timers promised that everything we need to know about staying sober is all there. The story FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE in the back of the BB was frequently suggested reading and has changed my life in many ways.

Chapter 5, HOW IT WORKS tho, especially the words:" being willing to go to any lengths" for my sobriety, has been the foundation of my program. Not because I was well enough to see the value in being serious about this killer disease, but because it was read at EVERY MEETING 'til I could scream!! (A 1 hr, meeting with a zillion announcements to boot). Thank God for that maddening repetition. It sunk in. Joyous Easter.


Member: Jan B
Location: Sweden
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 10:38:06

Comments

Hi , I am Jan and I am an alcoholic. I have a practical question abour this site, i.e. the colors on my computer screen. I get all your fine sharings in dark blue on a background in even darker blue and I can hardly read it. I have to sit with my nose almost thouching the glass (not good for an alchoholic). Do you send it that way from the server or is it just my computer that gets it all wrong? Love to everybody!


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 11:09:52

Comments

So very much of what is pointed out regarding the 1st 164 being the the guide is true, but the implication is that the 12x12 and other approved literature has no value. Approved literature refers to literature that (among other things) can be reconciled with and does not conflict with the BB. In Language of the Heart Bill Wilson speaks of sponsorship being a new and good idea.

It would seem to me that there is a big difference between "not mentioned in the 1st 164" and "conflicts with the 1st 164."


Member: Kerry B
Location: Idaho
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 11:59:51

Comments

Just to set my record straight, as far as I am concerned, all AA approved literature is meant to me to be an enchancement to the Big Book. I surely did not mean to imply that the Big Book was the only way to receive help in working the program. As I stated before, I have received help in ways much to numerical to write down. The stories in the back of the book have helped me so much. Freedom from Bondage, Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict are two that have really offered me great insight into my disease. There were periods of time in my sobriety when all I could do was remember things that were shared in those stories. There was also a period of time that I didn't even look at the Big Book because I thought it was "out dated" and that the 12 x 12 was really where I could receive all the help I ever needed. For myself, what was really revealed to me, was that the Big Book wasn't outdated, but rather "Too Simple" for me to grasp at the time. I don't know it this can be understood by everyone. It is just my own experience. I finally grew to where I could use all the AA literature that is offered. Man, am I grateful for that. I'm going to shut up now, sorry for using up so much space. The need was there. Thanks. Found any jelly beans yet??


Member: Richard
Location: Ca
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 12:08:43

Comments

Richard here, fellow sober drunk. It seems that I have struck a cored with my observation. I didn't mean to imply that some people do not need outside help: it does say that in the first 164 and literature like the 12&12 are good. And, again I use and am grateful for my sponsor, and I think that most people should have one or two or three. But, my main point is that they may or may not be caring the message in a clear and competent manner. I have worked with people who though sober a long time were trying to carry the message; however, at the same time they were having trouble and seeking outside help for problems dealing with reality. So, my statements were just a reflection on the fact that those searching for sponsors should do so carefully and if you are so sick that you can't read or understand then just not drinking and going to meetings in-between will help. After a while maybe things will clear up a bit and then you can find a sane and competent sponsor. Otherwise you may find a sponsor who has re-co-authored the Big Book, or one that has a lot of yard work that needs done. Also, I try to watch out for frothy emotional appeal: it doesn't work for me. When finding a sponsor try to find one to help you with understanding the program, it's an educational relationship: for the most part, not a girlfriend relationship or any other frothy emotional relationship.

No contradictions: the first 164 say fined a sponcee (protégé), and the stories (shares) speak of sponsors. Obviously the first 100 found protégés whom are speaking of the sponsors who found them. It just seems now that we expect the new comer to find a sponsor. In the Big Book (164) it simply says to find sponcees: to help keep us sober: work with another alcoholic.

To the person worried about their computer. It is just that way your computer is seemingly fine.


Member: LIBBY W.
Location: Glenside Pa
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 12:38:10

Comments

Happy Holiday Everyone!! Libby here in sunny PA. Geese If 1 person says something they have noticed in your character and then another "Better check it out" Richard in CA. I have been told this past week (and even before ) I am analytcal I suppose that is from my carreer---my position in life tells me to ask these three questions---What do we think? What do we know? What can we prove? In my recovery I am still learning just what DO I think? That is a toughie for me since I don't trust my judgement as of yet. Got news over the weekend that this disease claimed another fine soul. Ray was 6 years sober with what I thought to working a good program. Took his sponcees thru the steps via the Big Book, I am not understanding (nor do I have to) how 2 weeks ago he seemed ok with living life on lifes terms and then one day uses and dies! Last night I needed some relief and found it in the B.B. On More About Alcoholism It states'ALL WENT WELL FOR A TIME,BUT HE FAILED TO ENLARGE HIS SPIRITUAL LIFE". Was this Ray? Hell, I don't know. I get scared at the thought of the whole damned thing! What legacy did he leave behind for his 17 yr. old daughter? INSANITY!!!!!!! Picking up that first one is just that,INSANITY that is the message I have in my head---Yet I do ask myself Why him not me when I wanted to die sooo desparately 13 months ago? I have a better life today,yes,but I am shaking as I write this, I was told God has different plans for me . Now I pray I can own that. This post is macabre I'm sure, but I wanted to share in case anyone is having second thoughts or reservations of any kind THIS DISEASE WANTS YOU DEAD THAT IS IT'S GOAL


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 12:38:24

Comments

well, here is my two cents worth, THANK YOU MR AA,(richard) for trying to negate all that has helped me and countless other this program.... i guess the rest of that other stuff is meaningless? i mean, it only kept me and others sober, and was WSO approved... ahh what do they know? they are just a bunch of drunks.... yes, without the foundation of the first 164 we would never survive. however, with out the rest such as 90 in 90, the 12x12, as bill sees it, the slogans, and it goes on and on... it would have offered me and others a narrow perspective.. i mean addiction to other chemicals isn't in the first 164. does that mean lets not have them in AA? i was going to stay out of this controversy but, after prayer and meditation, i felt it nessicary..

to the newcomer, take what you need and don't let any one person become the personification of AA for you. they are just another drunk , just like you, who stopped drinking odaat afew 24 hours ago

as to the blue/ dark blue question look in the FAQ part of this...

hugs mary w.


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 12:58:42

Comments

Mary W. Last night after searching for some relief and guidance I found this:(in the middle of pg.22 Of the B.B.) "As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high- powered seditive and liquor to quiet his nerves to go to work'. Many persons with time in A.A. forget that Dr. Bob himself found it necessary to use a combination when alcohol was not delivering what it did in the begining--I am not saying this to be true about you I am saying this about some of the oldtimers at my home group . I do get protective about anyone who not knowing all the details of someone elses jouney can pass judgement Remember the third tradition God speed as we all draw another sober breath! Peace, Libby


Member: Carol
Location: N.E.
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 13:27:15

Comments

Just a thought for Libby W....was your friend going to NA for his problem with "using"? In the AA approved pamphlet PROBLEMS OTHER THAN ALCOHOL by Bill W., is very clear on this. Truly sorry about your friend. Carol


Member: annie w
Location: hallowell,me
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 13:59:13

Comments

Annie, alcoholic here. Nice to see folks discussing the book. As they say there is a nut for every bolt in this program. the real point is to stay sober long enough for the rest of your life to fall into place. the book all parts of it work at different times. after all it's a god dreiven program for ther hopeless and helpless alcoholic. my motto is if it works don't fix it.


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 18:05:35

Comments

thank-you Annie ....

Since I already addressed a relationship between the lower human orafice and long winded opinions it won't be neccessary to rehash... I am glad we have regular folk..like sweet mary w. in Kansas ( love you girl) and those people who in a few words bring it back to what is real...every once in a while..those individuals who, how did the author of the ranting whine put it..?, amazingly " are co-co-authors of the big book" or in some instances ...know the REAL,HIDDEN MEANING, of what is written, end up 6ft under...dead...because of ANALytical responsibility...the need/belief to grasp what this amazingly simple deal is all aabout. To this very average alcoholic...as final as their demise is...they become the best teachers..just do not follow their foolish egotiscal pusuit into hell..nothing sane about their actions, real pity actually..aah ...to be just another garden variety drunk... and be convinced without a doubt---that God could and would If he were Sought... period. happy Easter peace,jrr


Member: Richard
Location: ca
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 18:35:08

Comments

Richard here alcoholic, sorry Mary if what I said shook you, for my opinions are only the basis of my recovery. I primarily base my beliefs in the program on the original edition of the big book. I believe that no matter how crude my H.P. inspired it, and it is my foundation, for I believe that the purest forms of knowledge come from the source. Everyone has a different program. What works for one fails another. So, augmenting what's in the Big Book seems just fine, and I do it too. But, my main point was, if you can, try and think for yourself. Pray about things and your H.P. will reveal the answers. Honesty is the key of course: to thine own self be true.

Again, I apologize to any and all who have interpreted anything that I have said as being anti-AA. I'm a member for life, but I'll always call them like I see them. I encourage everyone else to do the same.


Member: jrr
Location: Harmony on the Lake
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 21:29:13

Comments

and how blind and narrow minded.....call them as I see them....think that was my barroom, barstool and neighborhood pub credo also..I do believe in freedom of expression and to each his own...what is worriesome though, is that a real alcoholic, in the throes of this cunning,bafflling and deadly disease may just get caught up in all the questioning and delay the willingness to surrender...and I just do not think the founders of this deal would be pleased about even one alkie who read some of this so-called real AA crap...boy am I glad it was suggested to just get busy.....no questions, just action...besides----how do I know "as I see them" is relevant or even that matter...the truth? as I was once told---" A disease of perception...best shelve the ego and surrender.." Thank you old-timers...for kicking my a** and not allowing me to follow my little flights of fancy into pyscho-babble and wanna-be elitist intellectual curiosity...peace,jrr


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA  KA
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 22:36:00

Comments

HI iam Fayla AA . I like every one else in this program am trying to stay sober ,I listen to everything i hear and if it feels right i do it ; I love to go to speaker meetings ,I;Ve learned alot from these wonderfull AA,s I only go to one meeting a week , sometimes two.I know that i half to get a sponser , and start going to more meeting s ,I get this from a feeling i get in my gut ,I myself believe its god s way of saying, if you want to keep what you ,ve got you half to ,put as much time into not drinking as you did drinking . AND i love the way my life is sober ;so i am going to keep doing what i,am doing cause i like what i,ve been getting ,but iam going to work harder at it till i get it right .I LOVE YOU ALL , AND I LIKE YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM .FAYLA GFAYLA


Member: Erv W.
Location: Adams Wi.
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 22:51:11

Comments

Good evening everyone, my name is Erv and I'm an alcoholic.. I've only been sober for a short while.. However, my sponsor says KEEP IT SIMPLE !! 1- Don't pick up the first drink.. 2- Read the bigbook.. 3- Go to meetings.. 4- Help others.. This has kept me sober for 368 days.. I hope you all have a great week, and I'll see you next week.. ( one low bottom sober drunk ) Erv


Member: mary w.
Location: winfield, kansas
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 23:19:54

Comments

i'm mary and i am an alcoholic and a addict, whether or not a person has other problems the only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking... rich to be honest , yes you did shake me , only in the fact that some new comer would come here and see what you have put forth in your opinion and take it as a statement of fact. you are right you work your program and i work mine. what keeps you sober might lead me to drink and the reverse is true too.. i don't know what started you on your diatribe, and i can not judge you on your postings, however many people come through here.. and in a sense this is where we carry the message... so, if you had a problem with someone or something. that is for you to take to a sponsor or trusted AA member or even to a F2F meeting.. not to air your ideas of how everybody else should work their program..

this program works...if and when we choose to work it. i know it has worked for me for over 9 years of odaat's......

hugs, mary w.


Member: LorraineS
Location: Ontario-Canada
Date: 12 Apr 1998
Time: 23:57:27

Comments

Good evening... I had the great privilege of attending two live meetings today and got a so much from each. Once again, I was reminded of the gift that comes with sharing with a fellow alcoholic.

This program has given me so much to be grateful for and I know that each and everyone one of the promises will come true if I work this program to the best of my ability... "one day at a time".

Thank you for allowing me to share.

Lorraine (~.~)


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 01:00:25

Comments

Hi, I am Linda, an alcoholic. This is my first venture into this area, the Coffee Pot. Very interesting discussions. I keep my program simple. A lot is written throughout the B.B. that has helped me, and am thankful for the text of A.A. There are stories that have circulated through the speaker circuits over the years about how people who were struck sober, or 12 stepped into recovery by reading the B.B. they has found. Including one lone alaskan in a cabin that found one at the bottom of a wooden barrel encased in ice!

The message throughout this book was a god-send to me. Bill and Dr Bob truly were given a mission that was God inspired. It is unbelievable that this text is printed in so many languages and have been distributed in so many countries around the world to inspire us to take on a different way of life.

Happy Easter.


Member: Josh J.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 04:43:56

Comments

Hi Gang. Josh the Alcoholic, sober for 18 days here. Just a little note from a baby...SARCASM REALLY IS DISCOURAGING and makes me think less of you rather than look up to you. I really can't believe that after I pray and meditate that my HP is going to tell me to start name calling and just be an all around smart-ass so I can solve everyone elses problems along with my own. Maybe I'm wrong. Let go and let God please. Bingo Erv, Keep it Simple. You always have only 2 choices, make it a better situation, or make it worse. Do the right thing, which is sometimes doing (saying) nothing.


Member: Richard
Location: Ga
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 05:03:49

Comments

Richard here, still an alcoholic. Sorry to have upset a few of you here with my opinion about what I though was a fairly clear portion of the Big Book. Jrr. I'm astounded with regards to your personality reading skills, for if you can classify me as close-minded and/or what ever else you called me from just a few paragraphs then your abilities in the field of "psycho-babble" far outranks most "psycho-experts". Obviously from your tone you didn't read the part of my share where I described my relationship with my sponsor: it's a good one. I also mentioned that I recommend sponsorship though that is of cores only one (my) humble garden variety drunk's opinion: don't want anyone to think that I'm an elitist or anything like that. Right Jrr.? I meet with my sponsor regularly, and he helps anchor me to the program. All I was pointing out was that sponsorship is referred to in the Big Book as an action step for the potential sponsor, not the potential sponcee. Believe me I didn't think it was such a big deal though I did think I'd get a few opinions. But any way, there is no reason for anyone to get personal. Haven't you ever heard the cliché "take what you need and leave the rest?" Personal attacks are the sign of a crumbling defense.

Like I said several times regarding the newcomer: Just go to a lot of meetings and don't drink in-between. Newcomers may want to keep it simple for a while till your ready for action; then again maybe you're ready for action. Hope that I didn't scare any of you off, for AA has saved my butt. However, if what I said confused anyone then wait till you hear about the "God" thing. Seriously, I wasn't coddled when I came into AA. I remember an old-timer telling me, " hope ya caught a resentment maybe it'll keep you coming back." I don't agree with that approach, but hey whatever. See I left that. If it was useful I would have kept it and used it in my program. I don't feel that I said anything too confusing or controversial for any "cyber literate" newcomer.

Hope this wasn't too long-winded or whiney for anyone, and if it was kept you reading didn't it. Ha, ha.

This is Richard just another drunk signing off, but I'm thinking of making this one of my home groups. Ya'll are so friendly here.


Member: Richard
Location: Ga,Oh,Ca,Fl
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 05:15:42

Comments

Richard alcoholic, Josh what you said was right on and I apologize for discouraging you in any way. Also, Linda P. I really, really, really liked what you had to share.

Thanks for letting me share, and I'll shut up for awhile now.


Member: Gail B
Location: TX
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 07:31:26

Comments

Hi all. Gail, alcoholic. Geez! This is my first visit to the coffee pot spurred on by Richard's accidental posting on the weekly meeting. I could tell there appeared to be a rumble at the coffee machine from his statement. I was compelled to see what the fuss was all about.

To Richard, I don't know you but I believe you were sincere in offering help to a fellow AA member. Maybe, the way the words flowed from your keyboard weren't entirely acceptable to some however, I feel your intent was not to send someone to the road to hell. Sometimes what comes out of my mouth is misunderstood even though I have good intent and others then begin to take my inventory - there is nothing worse for me than to have a fellow AA member jump all over my case because of a misunderstanding. These are the people I count on to keep me sober, along with my higher power.

As a newcomer about a year and a half ago, I had individuals in AA tell me all kinds of different ways to stay sober. Not one of them caused me to go out and drink and not all of them did I use. I chose the ways that worked for me. I do believe my higher power was watching over me and allowed me to make the right choices as to which course I would follow based on the myriad of "stay sober this way" options I was given. Fortunately, I also realized there wasn't one perfect person in AA, so I took bits and pieces carefully from all to formulate my road to recovery. In my early days as well as today the best answer for me was "one day at a time" and the serenity prayer. Out of everything that was said, these were the two things that kept me coming back. So Richard, please keep sharing - it's good for all of us, as well as you.

Regarding sponsors, I believe it is important to be selective in that area. Afterall, we are talking about our lives here. However, I do believe it is important to find a temporary sponsor in the beginning until that special sponsor appears. I was told to find someone with a good deal of sobriety under their belt, and a member of the same sex that you feel you can easily relate to.

Regarding AA literature, I relate to some better than others, but I haven't found any that wasn't useful.

Thanks for letting me share. I hope everyone has a great week and thinks about tolerance.

Gail


Member: xyz
Location:
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 09:35:51

Comments

Justa note; If I were still using the same tactic/behaviors I used in the bar / corners I hung then maybe just maybe it is time to change! That is what i was told the program of aa is, not doing the same things i did before it causes the same pains. And pain is what brought me to aa


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Ore
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 10:37:31

Comments

I want to talk to LIBBY IN PA. , , , , , Libby, I am so sorry about your friend Ray. Why did he die? Who knows. I just hope that someone learns from his death. I think you have. When the fog clears and you have time to reflect maybe you can get some sense out of it. I hope his daughter learns. I know I did. His death is to me another reminder of what I have learned many times in the past 15 months, this disease wants me dead. I have watched many die in the past 15 months. All very good people. One,no two, no three especially who were very good people. Without sounding cliche I do feel your pain. AND your anger. When these fine people died i was at first just very sad. That it hurt. Than I got angry. I am 52 years old and I grew up with joann and I didn't even know that she was an alcoholic. She blew her own brains out. Couldn't deal with the Drunk driving ticket. Who knows what else she couldn't deal with. Hopefully we stay clean and sober while we watch them die and go back out there. BUT! We STAY SOBER. I look at my life now and what it was 15 months ago and there is no comparison. I HAVE A LIFE> It is that simple. I now have a life. I sure didn't when I was drinking. When I see someone go back out there I want to scream. Randy (not real name) is one of the loveliest people I ever met. He's young, attractive, intelligent and has his whole future in front of him. He was clean for 8 months and said all the right things. HE meant all of them as well. Back out there. None of his plans are coming true now. Maybe they will some day but who knows. All I can do is pray for him. I can't even talk to him. Did you ever notice that when they go back out most of the time they sever contact with us?I know another young man, 27, his brain is 70% gone. He never makes any sence. He's sober but has the intelligence of a 6 year old. All I know is i don't want that to happen to me. I want to LIVE the rest of the time God gives me. I want to enjoy my husband and family and friends. I want to do some good when I get the chance. I want to return the favors i have been given. I want to prove to myself that I really can do it. I will stop now. Hope I am not just rambling. Anyway Libby, I wish you well. Doris


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 12:53:26

Comments

Hi, my name is Suzanne and I'm an alcoholic.

I want to keep this as short as possible.

I have been sober 9 months. I don't attend numerous meetings (1 maybe 2 a week if that) I, currently, have no sponsor.

I do read the big book, the 12 and 12, living sober, daily meditations, came to believe and others. Earlier in my sobriety I was quite active, I attended meetings regularly and had temporary sponsors. Then, I started attending less meetings and gave up the sponsors. I realized I did not have the desire to drink. I thought I didn't need meetings and sponsors (even though I knew better)

Well, after letting my program ...slide, (attending less meetings and no sponsorship) I still had no desire to drink, but felt my life becoming more unmanageable. This has scared the hell out of me. I know I am only one drink away from pure....

The past week in the coffeepot there have been postings that the program is in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. In reading this, this alcoholic took that and ran with it. Then I got really confused. I knew better, didn't I? I wasn't sure.

Rich, you say "many have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body with only the Big Book and that meetings and sponsors are simply a modern day luxury". You also say "if you do find issues not covered in the book seek a professional in the field that you have questions about".

Rich, thank you for bringing this topic to the coffeepot. It has really given me the direction I was looking for.

I have been told that you have to "want it". I just didn't know what it was I wanted until now. The fog I have been in is finally clearing.

I want meetings and sponsors, even if some feel they are a modern day luxury. I want to seek answers to questions I may have, but I will not seek a professional in the field, I will seek another alcoholic. For me, the alcoholic is the true professional.

I would also like to thank the many others here for there postings. Every message has helped me find some direction.

I tried several times to do it alone. It never worked then and it isn't working now. You think I would learn.

I have been sitting around long enough. It is time for me to go to any lengths to keep my sobriety. My life depends on it.


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 13:46:50

Comments

Hello to all, Amy the alcoholic. I too want this to be my homegroup. Just wanted to say to the girl who did not know if there are nuts in this program or not when you began it because you were looped yourself, I can relate, but thank goodness for the BB, all AA lit. that helps me. Jrr I hope the harmony is on the lake, mary hugs to you and lorraine you have sweet eyes, Amy G.C. Happy Easter to all, esp. in NC!


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 14:07:29

Comments

to Suzanne H. from Canada; You sound to me like you are on the way to happy, joyous and free journey. Also concerning PROFFESONALS, I like to remember that the Titanic was built by professionals and the ark was built by Noah, an amature. A happy sober journey to all, Sanders


Member: Barbara S.
Location: NJ
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 14:18:25

Comments

Hello, fellow AAs the world over.

I am always grateful to see so many people here, and from so many places, and think again that it's wondrous that we live today, when AA is everywhere on earth. It seems amazing that only 60 years ago it didn't exist at all!

So many people have found a new life through AA. We read Step 12 in a meeting over the weekend, and I thought again about the amazing way the program of AA works, and what a remarkable gift ("Freely ye have received, freely give.") it has been in my life.

Thanks, all, for being out there.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 14:31:39

Comments

Sanders, funny that you bring up Noah. Amateur shipbuilder yes, but as soon as the flood waters receded and he docked, he got drunk, making him one of the first recorded drunks (and in the Bible, no less).


Member: Richard
Location: NY
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 15:13:02

Comments

Richard alcoholic, action is important. I know that my sponsor really made a point of that. He "suggested" that I should secretary meetings, as soon as possible, and by following that suggestion I felt a bit more anchored into the program. During those first few days being of service assisted me in getting out of myself and into the program. It's good to hear Suzanne H. speak of such things.

The Big Book does say that outside professionals may be needed. It's just that I find what I need to stay sober in the Big Book, my H.P., and Meetings have also helped. It just keeps it simple for me. If I start reading and analyzing every inspirational or spiritual book that I can find, I start thinking things like," well maybe if I pray facing Jerusalem god will hear my prayers quicker," or something stupid and crazy like that. Believe it or not there are people that really think it works, and maybe it does: I do not know. I've read much of the other literature and it seems to help many, but for me and many others, though maybe not by choice, the Big Book and reliance upon a power greater than ourselves have kept us sober.

Sanders I noticed that you visit the coffeepot also, but what I wanted to say is in regards to something you posted on the meeting page. When you spoke of not being perfect, you said that at the same time one must not set their sights too low. I really got a lot out of that. Thanks, that makes a lot of sense.

Salutations from a joyous alcohalic whom continues to trudge down this happy road of destiny. To be truly free is a spiritual gift.


Member: Bonnie C
Location:
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 16:16:38

Comments

Bonnie, alcoholic, Hi extended family, I sure do love you and this wonderful program that put the fire back in our hearts. To care, whether its about each other or being right or just showing up and being heard. some of us can say what we have to in a few words, some of us have to use many, I ask God for wisdom and when I'm ready for the lesson the teacher always appears, sometimes verbose because my mind is slow and has to be led to my answer and sometimes I'm ready for a three word answer. when i first got here, i was told to get to at least one big book study a week, a 12 and 12 study, a womens meeting, and fill the rest of the days in with open or speakers or where I came from they had co-de(codependent) acoa(adult children of alcoholics) alanon(since I surrounded myself with alcoholics and taught my kids alcoholic behaviors, by my actions) my kids went to alatot and alateen - any lengths - I gave every thing I had to drinking, thinking negative, being a victim, and just generally feeling like crap all the time. my prayer before I got here was, God take me and make me a productive human being or let me die, so what did I have better to do with my life? continue to feel miserable or work like hell to fix what ever malady was befalling me. I chose the later. I even ended up in a what I thought was an aa meeting and ended up on the floor listening to a relaxation tape, "FOREHEAD relax" "Eyebrows relax" "eyes relax" etc, by mistake (or was it>?) but by God gifting me with that mistake, I was able to sleep during those terribly confusing and sometimes terrifying first yrs of sobriety when my life was so screwed up and my head had no workable processes to work. it also helped me help some drunks thru the throws of the dts. I was told to read, 60 thru 63, 449 thru 452, 83 and 84 (all daily) I used living sober, and all the aa approved literature, and some that wasn't, I have read the big book and 12 & 12 from cover to cover many times highlighting the important parts each time, funny how many colors there are on each page, for each time I read it through, i found more of ther important parts, I still find that somehow I didnt see a few things even though I highlighted them at first, progress not perfection, if you find someone who has all the answers, check em out, check the sources, check your motives for when I depend on someone for all the answers for my life i'm giving that person alot of power, sponsors, proteges, are our way of starting to trust humanity again in this new life (thank God for those who are willing to give of their time and energy) and because we are all falable I fall short of perfection but if I keep myself teachable and pray daily for God's will for me and the power to carry that out and take the 10th step every nite or these days when my gut gets a twinge to do so then i stay pretty centered. thank God I was handed the big book, not just the first 164 pages of it. thank God for AA and thank AA for my God. (((((((ROOM-HUG))))))) Dear God, please bless all that venture here. bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside Pa
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 16:17:37

Comments

Doris H. I want to thank you for your note. I just had a yr. of sobriety march 23rd, and the fog has been lifting slowly but at least lifting. You said it best : at first I was sad ,hurt, and then anger came--- I am not good at knowing my own feelings--- anesthetized for over 20 years delivered that to me or should I say robbed? Yes life is what I have today.A woman I met on line here says" I live each day as it is my last but with a conciousness of a tomorrow" She and many others are a God send to me as I continue to learn from those who look at life in a positive manner. Thank you for sharing and to all who continue to support one another on this page. Peace to you all as we draw another sober breath . Libby PS Richard in Ca- I will continue to look. Just today looked up baffling-needed clarity and was suggested by my sponsor to do just that- Get clarification Thanks for making us all think.


Member: BC
Location:
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 16:26:50

Comments

those that MATTER don't MIND, those that MIND don't MATTER

Hey Lib, love ya my friend


Member: Barry L
Location: Staying Cyber Tech
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 18:36:36

Comments

To Jan B from Sweden,

If you go to the FAQ page on this site you may find the answer to your question about the colors, if that does'nt help you can e-mail us at tech@stayingcyber.org , with more specific information i.e. operating system, browser used, color setting on video. And we can try to help you further


Member: gratefuldan
Location: San Jose CA
Date: 13 Apr 1998
Time: 20:42:31

Comments

Hi I'm gratefuldan & I'm an alcoholic-addict. Very happy to have found this meeting. Read alot of great stuff here & intend to be back. How about a laugh? After all, "We are not a glum lot."

A drunk releases a genie from a magic lantern. The genie says, " I will grant you 3 wishes." The drunk says, " I want a bottle that never runs out." The genie grants the wish. The drunk tests the bottle & sure enough he can drink all he wants but the bottle remains full. The genie says, "What are your next 2 wishes?" The drunk says, "Two more of the same."

Take care, gratefuldan


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 05:04:57

Comments

This one's for you BON! I thank God you don't mind, but that you DO matter! Love ya Lib May We All Have a Sober Day


Member: Martina G
Location: New England
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 07:24:49

Comments

Richard,(and others) thanks for all your sharing. Whether or not we all agree with one another, I think it is a healthy thing to eventually be able to THINK (takes a sober mind to do so) and not be afraid to disagree. I find myself often trading my security with the bottle to another form of unhealthy security. For me this sometimes takes the form of being rigid. When I first put the bottle down, I had to cling to whatever simple thing I could for many years and for all who are newly sober, they should do the same. As the years rolled by, however, I knew that I was doing alot of subtle substituting. Rigid thinking was one of them for me. As long as we are all respectful and polite, we should not be afraid to express our own opinions, especially on the coffee pot, where the forum allows for whatever. I find that I am afraid of expressing a differing point of view at times because, as an alcoholic, I am so hung up on what everybody else thinks of me. A few weeks ago, on this site, I made the "no no" of talking about my higher power as Jesus. This was very simply a heartfelt expression of something personal to me, but was interpreted as my trying to add something religious to the AA program. I really struggled with the onslaught of criticism for doing so. But looking back, now I am grateful for that because it forced me to look at myself and ask why I am still trying so hard to seek everyone's approval.

If you are new to the program and confused, You are very, very important to everyone. Listen to advice.Take the Best -- Leave the Rest. Do what works for you and don't be threatened by things that you might not like or agree with. The goal is to live a sober life. AA is a road that has proven to work to achieve that end. But nothing on earth is perfect, especially us. Thanks for listening.


Member: Martina G
Location: New England
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 07:34:23

Comments

P. S. Loved the joke , gratefuldan!


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 09:39:23

Comments

Martina, what I remember about the HP controversy was how gracefully you handled the whole thing.


Member: anonymous
Location: USA
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 11:00:19

Comments

Don't we have anything else to talk about??I mean,the BB tells us we will have a new life, it doesn't say it will be constantly talking about the BB. Do you think that's what Bill W. & Dr Bob did for all thse years??? I think not . There is life outside AA, let's live it!!


Member: anonymous
Location: USA
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 11:04:17

Comments

Don't we have anything else to talk about??I mean,the BB tells us we will have a new life, it doesn't say it will be constantly talking about the BB. Do you think that's what Bill W. & Dr Bob did for all thse years??? I think not . There is life outside AA, let's live it!!


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 11:29:54

Comments

Hello, Amy an alcoholic, I have a lot more to share about enjoying sobriety. Thanks be to the HP I have a caring, spiritual side to my life now that I know I did not have before. I was selfish, now althought of course I am not perfect, I try to do good. Before I only cared for myself and I can now FEEL for others. When I experience something funny in a totally sober moment and laugh til I cry, or when a song makes me cry on the radio, or when I think nice thoughts about my family members that I miss in NC...Love to all, Amy G.C.


Member: BC
Location:
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 14:49:50

Comments

Hey family, bonnie, alcoholic again, I receive jokes daily and have a joke forwarding list thats going strong. so if you would like to receive these, please email me at ========================================== bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Milas E.
Location: Ca
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 18:12:38

Comments

Hi I'm Milas,and I am an acholic. To josh, you are right, it is discourging to learn that not everyone in A.A. is well and wonderful. But most of us are making progress.WE were all spritually sick at one time. On P.67"WE asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend." Well, most of us are still sick, the diffrence now is that we know it. We can disagree and still love one another, or at least try.Hey Libby you got me to thinking-baffle-to frustrate by puzzling- thanks for reminding me to keep looking things up:) To Anon, we are inside A.A. now, but can talk about whatever you would like.Thank you all I really like this meeting,remember TOLERANCE


Member: Stu M
Location: New Jersey
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 20:16:49

Comments

Hi, my name is Stu and I am an alcoholic. iwas one yesterday, am one today and god willingly will be one tomorrow. I didn't get thie message or the program the first time around, but I have today. I thank god and thr rooms and all of you for that , 'cause on my own ... I have a new sponsor who is helping me throgh a "new fourth step." It's a good good thing, for my first sponsor picked up and hasn't been seen since, that's his problem, I carry the message not the drunk. I don't have a lot of sobritety or spelling ability, but to alll new comers get a sponsor, use the phone, make meetings and keep coming back. This site is so cool: its an anytime accessible meeting and I'd like to join the group when possible. Thanks Stu M, New Jersey 4/14


Member: Richard
Location: C
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 20:25:08

Comments

Richard here alcoholic, I had a pretty rough day today. Nothing major, I just wasn't feeling myself and seemed to always be running behind. I was up last night with stomach troubles. Not like the ones I use to have(ha,ha), but I've always seemed to have an irritable digestive system. I spoke with my sponsor but we are both so busy that we can't meet till next week. Finally, I caught a moment of peace when I realized that this day was a part of a journey laid out for me by my H.P. I'm a pawn not a king; I'm labor not management when it comes to running my life. So, I had one of those days when you feel like you're at your wits end. Yea, it was a pretty fun and exciting day.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 21:10:56

Comments

Finally got Uncle Sam out of my pockets, at least til the end of the next quarter. Anyone out there dare to say they are grateful to pay taxes?? Guess I'll have to keep working on that. Owning a business is alot of hard work, and very expensive. But I don't have to fight with the boss anymore, cause everytime I point my finger at him, I'm pointing it at me. What a hoot!!! Keep smiling etc. etc. Love you all.


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 21:40:01

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. This group has really been a life-saver for me. Easter was my first posting. Since that time I have been so excited, every moment to spare is spent reading others comments, and participating. I have a granddaughter with a brain tumor. In July I will be going with her and the family to Sacramento, CA to undergo further tests. As long as I do not talk about it or think about it I am okay. But now and then I wonder how I can be strong for her. Fortunately I do not do that on my own. I gather a lot of strength from a H.P., and most of all hope from people like you who care about others and spend time active in 12 step work. That is what I think is so wonderful about this group. Richard, hope your feeling better.

P.S. Nathan P, hang in there, we are all here for you..


Member: JOHN N
Location: CORK IRELAND.
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 21:48:29

Comments

HI JOHN N HERE IN CORK IRELAND.MY BROTHER TOM [ ALSO A MEMBER] IS ON HOLIDAYS WITH ME.HE SENDS REGARDS TO ALL HIS AA FRIENDS IN GLASGOW.SCOTLAND. ALSO WE SEND LOVE TO OUR SISTER DOLORES[ALSO A MEMBER] IN BOSTON USA.PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ALL THOSE STILL SUFFERING. THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD.


Member: Evelyn B.
Location: Connecticut
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 23:11:43

Comments

Good day to you John and Tom in Cork, Ireland! What a cheery thing to see a message coming from my favorite place - the Emerald Isle! I'm glad you signed off with the mention of prayer. One of the best things I've ever learned as a result of being an AA member is that prayer is always answered. I firmly believe that every time we alcoholics join our hands at the end of a meeting to pray for the still sick and suffering, another door is help open by an AA angel for a drunk who has finally hit bottom. So - all you members out there in the world - remember our Higher Power hears EVERY prayer and answers EVERY prayer. They do not simple drift up into the universe. The proof of that is how each of us found our way to AA....someone was praying for us! As far as the the discussion of the BB goes - Richard, the best thing that happened to me was my brother (also a member) told me to get a copy of the BB and read the 1st 164 pages. I did that before I had ever gone to my first meeting - I highly recommend to any newcomer to get a hold of that and keep holding onto it! Without it, the rest of the wonderful publications never would exist. I think sometimes a newcomer is led to too many discussion meetings early in sobriety for fear that they might not be able to handle a 12 step meeting or a BB meeting. I think the opposite is true. The sooner you get with the program, the sooner you get with the program!!!! The fellowship of AA came as a result of the PROGRAM of AA - not the other way around!!! God bless Bill W., Dr. Bob, Ebbie, the Oxford group, and all the other founding fathers who have made it possible for each of us to stay sober and begin to truly live joyous, happy, and free!


Member: Ali
Location: California
Date: 14 Apr 1998
Time: 23:41:21

Comments

Hi everyone, Ali alcoholic. Wild week so far on the Coffee Pot. I just checked in for the first time. My short term memory is completely shot and my long term is not far behind. It might be nice if I could remember the comments or the people saying them long enough to respond to any of them or maybe God is doing for me what I can't do for myself. What have I done for my sobriety today? Slowed down to hear God. God comes to me with skin, pages and actions and things I can't explain. I glad to be here and sober today. Special Happy Birthday to my first sponsor who has 16 years tomorrow. Love you Patti.


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 00:06:46

Comments

HELLO every body FAYLA AA. I,am doing good ,Its been a pretty good day , except for my brother , he has been in the program for 13 years, he has been sick , He has hypi titius from his days of using .and another liver damaging illness that i cant spell , He has done very well , Hes a drug and alcohol counc. I am realey worried about him, I AM SO PROUD of what hes done with his life ,hes my baby brother ,and i really dont want to see him go befor me . Hear i am doing every thing i shouldnt do ,but sometimes its hard not to worry about the furture .Ijust half to take what G OD GIVES ME ,and pray it will be all right ,love to all fayla


Member: Al Cohalic
Location: earth
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 00:08:00

Comments

Hi there I'm an alcoholic, when I read the lady's share about getting jumped about speaking of Jesus being her H.P. I had to sit back and laugh. It seems that at every meeting I here someone speak of any number of ancient and new age H.Ps. One of the members I know and respect has mentioned his Buddhist beliefs on many occasions: without repercussion. But, let one of those Christians breath a breath about Jesus and all Hell breaks loose. I may be in denial about what some call dualism, but I believe my H.P. told all, as they could understand Him/Her.

To thoughs overseas I'll pray for you.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 01:05:34

Comments

Hey Richard from ca or CA or GA or c, might be your stomach troubles are being caused by the anxiety created by telling other people how to run their lives! When all else fails just don't drink and don't die. you will eventually awaken one morning with the same amount of time I have at this writing. I wish I had sufficient time to school you in the best way to get your education here in Alcoholics Anonymous but I am far too busy getting back into the mainstream of life to spend 45 minutes preparing a dissertation on what I think everyone should read and,,,,,I almost forgot. In the final chapter of the first 164 there is a line that states"more will be revealed" I can't help but wonder if Bill didn't put that line in so he could continue writing what has been viewed as gospel by so many. Soberiety is a bitchin place to live. I am way happy that I don't have to be a private detective one minute and a brain surgeon the next. Thats the kind of thing that happens when I'm leaning my elbows on a bar somewhere. I'm gonna pray for Richard, but not because thats what the book says to do when you want to get rid of a resentment. I'm gonna pray for him because I love the spirit of a drunk and from what I've read tonight Richard may just belong here. And for the rest of you there are two buttons on your keyboard that have Shift written on them. If you press one of those buttons while pressing a letter on your keyboard that letter will appear as uppercase and your sharing on this format will be much easier to decifer. Thanks, David B,,,the orginal troublemaker.


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 01:56:57

Comments

Hello all, Amy an alcoholic. Richard I have had anxiety problems ever since I started the program 3 years ago, See your dr. though because you never know. I had to undergo a painful operation in Jan. but have since recovered with the help of my higher power who I am not ashamed to call Jesus, forgive me BB. Fayla I am sorry about your baby brothers illness and you are right that at least he did something as a counselor for years and helped other people. Some go through life and never learn the joy in giving I think...Love from the cold alps


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 02:03:33

Comments

it's by choice that i type in lower case. thank you anyway....

hugs,

mary w.


Member: bonnie c
Location: seattle
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 03:00:26

Comments

fayla, I'll pray for your brother my friend, sittin here rockin my grandson to sleep in the web chair. extended family on the screen and an angel in my lap, God is so good. hugs to all - my dear friends


Member: Martina G
Location: New England
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 07:12:36

Comments

What a fiesty group this is ! Richard, thanks again for sharing. And don't take the personal comments to heart (though I usually still do). Hope you have a good day today.

Glenn, thank you for your kind comment.

Kerry THANK YOU THANK YOU --- I FORGOT to pay my estimated taxes unti I read your post. and I still have time to post mark it today!!! I just started filing estimated quarterly txs and really don't have a clue what I am doing, but at least my ignorance will be on time !

Linda P, I'm sorry about your granddaughter and will pray for her.

Have a sober day everyone. I am now going to go try to decipher Form 1040-ES


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 07:45:42

Comments

David, THANK GOD you're far too busy to take time to school us in the best way to get our education here in AA. By the way, overriding the colors and using your own will make it easier to read (see FAQ).


Member: Libby W
Location: Glenside Pa
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 08:01:48

Comments

Goodmorning All! Libby alcoholic. Fayla is it cirrhosis? My husband and I have been diagnosed with HepC which leads to liver cell damange.yesterday I went to the hospital with a friend who is on the mend from this Prayers and a positive mental attitude will get you far. She has been an inspiration in our lives.There is a web site for Hep C I found (like alcoholism) learning about the disease reduces fears and anxiety, I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 08:28:20

Comments

Libby, thanks. I, like most of us, have a lot of friends with hepC. Yet, I'm terribly ignorant about it. The website you mentioned is at

http://village.vossnet.co.uk/c/crina/pag-menu.html


Member: Doug H.
Location: GA
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 08:55:30

Comments

Hi, I've been a visitor to this site for about a week now. I've really enjoyed visiting with all of you. The reason that I have been visiting is that I am currently in the process of facing my failures. The first thing that I discovered is that I am probably an alcoholic. Just as my father before me and his father before him. God (Jesus, my higher power) has beeen speaking to me with great force as of late. Yet, last night I did it again. I look at myself and I see that I follow the same pattern as my father. I start drinking at about seven p.m. and don't eat dinner until about 11:00, by which time I have made myself sufficiently drunk. This is not the life that I want to live. I know that I am doing a disservice to my family. Specifically my daughter. I don't want her to grow up with the same burden that I had. I hate myself each morning when I wake, because I know what I am missing out on when I choose the beer in front of the TV over spending quality time with her. This is not a pattern that I want repeated for generations to come. I could not stand the thought of my daughter having the same feelings of resentment that I hold against my father and the grandfather that I never knew. Your prayers for me and my family would be greatly appreciated. Neither my father nor my grandfather ever tried to fight off this beast that binds us all. I believe that the "buck must stop here!" I mentioned earlier that God had been speaking to me about this and I wanted to share exactly what He has shared through his word: "But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to...eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants wil be beaten with many blows." I do not wish to dissappoint my God or my family. We too often concern ourselves with our earthly blessings, but who would wish to miss out on our eternal blessings as well? Alcohol steals us away from both. I appreciate the opportunity to vent and voice. God bless all. God forgive all. God help us all.


Member: Eileen
Location: Pa.
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 09:35:49

Comments

I knew I was beat. I had tried on several occasions to stop drinking on my own, but got no results. In January 1998 I pleaded with God to take over. He listened and used the good people like Glenn, David, Barbara, and Pat to get me started on my journey. Thank God, I have 90 days today. God willing, I may never again have to deal with drinking, but only with my sobriety one day at a time. Thanks, and God bless. Eileen


Member: Diane R.
Location: MA
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 10:06:51

Comments

Hi, I'm Diane, a very grateful recovering alcoholic. I joined this group back in October but have not been active. My husband is on kidney dialysis and since November has been hospitalized 5 times. I do attend live meetings. When I got sober, an old timer of 36 years suggested I read page 449 in the book over and over again. I was not capable in the beginning to grasp what was included in the first 164 pages of the BB. However, I also think it is important to read those pages because it is my recipe for staying sober today. I have been sober 11 years and I still attend step meetings, BB meetings and discussion meetings. Last night at a biginners' meeting I had the honor of presenting a coin to a girl who 9 years of sobriety. There were also two others who had 9 years of sobriety. In Chapter 5 of the BB it states "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

AA is a spritual program and without my HP I would not be sober today. I ask him for help every morning and I thank him every night. I believe that this is a miracle program and that our founders were guided by a Power greater than themselves.

The last words Dr. Bob spoke to Bill W. was "keep it simple Bill".

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Diane R.
Location: MA
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 10:29:55

Comments

Hi, it's Diane again. I meant to commend the group on changing the format from discussion to 12 & 12. Also, having a Tranditions meeting is wonderful. The 12 & 12 is for our personal recovery. The Traditions are so important because without Traditions we would not have the Fellowship. Without the Fellowship we would not be able to stay sober.

I commend all of you that are involved in creating this site. Thank you.


Member: Stu M
Location: NJ
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 11:02:01

Comments

Hi, I'm Stu an alcoholic. Doug, thanks for sharing, I suggesst getting to a meeting NOW, it may save your life and your butt. There are many things I have done in my addiction and I can't change any of them. Today, I can try to live better with God's help, my sponsor's and my friends and family in and out of the rooms of AA. I can't change other people, only myself with help and guidance. Asking for that help is not always easy - hey I'm an alcoholic - I want things my way or no way. I am not the center of the universe, if other want to think they are, so be it. I just know its not the way I want or can live today. I can beat myself up worse than any thug, I can with my own mind and the committeee in there send me places that I dare not let me go, so I don't do that. I was an alcoholic yesterday, am one today, and hope to be one tomorrow. AA is a simple program in my opinion, I can live it and work it one day at a time.


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield Ore
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 12:48:50

Comments

Hi you all. This is Doris in Oregon and I just wanted to tell a story. I just returned from an 11 day trip to Europe and I had a ball. And I did it all sober. THERE WAS BOOZE EVERYWHERE. But I didn't even feel tempted. But! I did see quite a few drunk people, especially a bunch of drunk American business people in Germany. Man were they smashed. I used to do that too and now I am so embarresed to think how rediculous I must have looked to my friends and husband. UGH! Anyway, we were in Luxemborg and my hostess showed me her country one day and after touring the castle ruin and other fascinating things all day we went to a mall outside of Luxemborg city. As we walked in I saw a sign advertising a show being put on in the town center called "Buffalo Bills wild west show". This intreagued me since I am a Oglala Sioux indian and I went to investigate. In the mall were many glass cases with leather and bead work in them and finally I saw an Indian village set up in the center of the mall. As I walked toward the village I saw a very tall handsome indian man sitting at a table. He was dressed in all of his tribe finery and it did look odd to see this in Luxemborg. i just couldn't pass this up so I walked over to him with my two friends behind me and I stood in front of him and raised my right hand in salute and said "HOW KOLA". (Greetings) in Lakota Sioux) Well, it was a good thing this guy was sitting down cause he looked like he had been shot in the chest. He almost fell out of his chair. He jumped up and started talking to me very fast in French. I made the sign of cutting my own throat and said " No parlez vou Francies" (excuse the spelling) "I don't speak french." He than started speaking to me in Lakota and between this and my friend the interpretter we had a great talk. He was born in Quebec and his mother was Lakota and his father was french and when his mother died his father returned to France with him, he was 8, and he's lived there since. This was all very pleasant and my friends were so shocked. It was great. Anyway, he gave me an autographed picture, he wouldn't take any money, and we parted. I just thought people would enjoy hearing an anecdote. I am very outgoing and found I think I could survive in any country just by being friendly and trying to communicate any way I can. I loved all the people in Europe and felt welcome and at home everywhere I went. Even my reserved New England husband and shy friends liked having someone withthem that could talk to anyone. Somehow. The whole trip was a blast and I can't wait to go back. I love reading the Coffee Pot and hearing from people from other countries. Keep up the good work. (But, it is nice to be home now) Thanks for listening. I guess it doesn't have much to do with sobriety except i did reflect many times what this whole trip would have been like drunk. I can't even begin to describe how grateful that I didn't get this chance until I was sober. Thank you God. Doris H In Oregon


Member: Barbara S.
Location: NJ
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 14:16:56

Comments

Eileen: Wonderful! Congratulations, and keep coming back! I'm so glad you're along on this journey to a new life, a day at a time. Thanks for letting us know about your 90 days.

Doug H.: Welcome to you. AA is in the phone book, and if you call you can get the times and locations of meetings near you, and talk to the volunteer on the phone, if you wish. Finding AA and sobriety was absolutely the best thing I've ever done - for me, there is no experience that compares to this journey. Good luck, and keep coming.


Member: Richard
Location: NY
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 14:53:13

Comments

Hi there everyone, Richard NY or ca or CA or GA and/or c here. I'd just like to apologize for my insensitivity to Fayla and all those suffering. To all those who have shared of sickness and to the foreigners of war torn countries I wish you the best and will be praying for you.

To Mary: keep on typen in little letters they are so cute, and add life to the CoffeePot's character.

Thanks you Martina G. for your kind words. I try not to take what others think or say personally. However, as a Business and pre-law major one of my shortcomings is the need to respond. My dream has always been to practice law. And, I guess my personality type fits in well with my planned vocation. I never thought my dream would come true, for I was a High school dropout: because of my drinking. But, now law school is within my sights, and sometimes I find myself playing the part. Even though as the B.B. says I feel that I may not deserve the image, which I portray.

Hey Al Cohalic, I think I'm a dualist too if that means my higher power is like the hub (center) in a wheel full of spokes (different religions).

Doug it sounds like you are the type of drinker that I was. I always seemed to miss dinner too, or I would put dinner off till I was too full of booze to eat anything. Your share also spoke of your grandparents. Your grandparents may have known mine, for it sounds like they drank alike, and both my grandpa and great grandpa also died active alcoholics. Your quote was also revealing and enlightening, but you might be careful not to dwell on such things. Though they are important, for me, when I dwell on my overwhelming shortcomings, especially in those first days, I inevitably get screwed up and say screw it all. Remember that's just me: take it with a grain or two of salt. Maybe it will work for you. Sharing at meetings will probably help your mind relax a bit. Remember, god wants us all, and in a good way. We can't earn his praises. The number one thing in the Book which I believe you were quoting from is that you believe and have faith that "you know who" paid the price for you, me, and all others who are willing participants in a spiritually growing life. Take it easy on yourself: for now. Just do not drink and go to meetings in between not drinking. "only my opinion". God loves you even if you don't think you're on the right path.

Thanks Fayla and others for your concern, I see my Dr. about my problem and they seem to think it is anxiety, but I don't want what they have: pills. My stomach is a minor ailment though it is bothersome. It seems to be worse when finals or a big task is due. This week I'm fresh back from spring break and there are exams around every corner.

I'd also like to thank David for his medical diagnosis concerning the cause of my anxiety, but I think it's a misdiagnosis, and my Dr. has a little different angle on the whole causation issue as well. I'm not sure if you are a Md., Ph.D., or if you were being rude and facetious, but thanks either way. You mentioned that maybe someday I'd wake up with as much sobriety/time in the program as you. Well I hope that I stay sober, but I've never mentioned how much time that I have. However, congratulations on your time. With God's help I've put together a few 24 hour time periods; today is what I'm concentrating on though. Oh yea, and I got your sermon, but I never claim that anyone should run their program the same way that I run mine. Since you seem to find interest in my statements it seems funny that you missed what I was pointing out: sponsorship is an action step for the sponsor and not the sponcee (protégé). This is in contradiction to what I often hear, so I was simply pointing that out not preaching. It was this point that I was backing up with the first 164. My favorite "book share" is "Join the Tribe". That share really revealed to me how this program can work for everyone. Regarding my beliefs surrounding the B.B. I wasn't trying to preach against anyone trying or reading any of the newer literature. To each there own, and as I stated I've read much of the newer literature. But, the alcoholic of my kind needs to as many have said,"keep it simple or K.I.S.S." David you mentioned that you are the original troublemaker. That would make you pretty unique. Many have told me to watch out for terminal uniqueness.Like I said thanks for your perspective and dissertation David.

Sorry to all for my lengthy shares, but I did just find this sight last week, and have been overwhelmed with both the positive and negative feed back from my fellows. I will try to shorten up my thoughts, as well as, my responses. But, as with everything else I feel that if I don't try to fill in all the gaps contained within my statements, there will be those LOOKING to jump right on into my or anyone's crap. Well as I've learned people, not just here but "normies" too, often either skim or skip from subject to subject missing the subtle or blatant bridges (points) which seem to connect individuals related thoughts, and which inevitably wined back up in their responses. Sorry to all those who have found my statements to be offensive to their program, for I want all to stay sober. But, I will stick to my opinion while asking my H.P. to help me stay open minded, open for improvement, and open to more being revealed.

Thanks everyone for being allies in this thing called recovery.


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 15:12:27

Comments

Hi Everyone! just a quick note on something I heard this am-- "Repetition penatrates even the dullest of minds" I really liked that for it is so befitting to me . I need every meeting every greeting God sees befitting for me to have. AND Richard that means you too!! I am not sure where you are from and it really does'nt matter except that there are other Richards so how about helping me out that when I am getting info I know from whom I am getting info from? Glen thanks for the Hep address I have added it to my bookmarks. I was rushing this am to get to a mtng. and forgot to post the one I have www.hepnet.com Hope you find it useful, Fayla. May all those with health problems find peace. Libby


Member: Dee Dee L.
Location: Prairie du Sac,WI
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 15:24:55

Comments

I am looking for opinions/comments on the use of anti-buse. I used it for my first 2 mos in the pgm until I became pregnant and I didn't drink. I know some view it as only a crutch and I have learned that in this life everyone is allowed to have an opinion. I believe as an alcoholic if it helps me stay away from the 1st drink then use it. I have been sponsoring a woman since she came into the prgm in 8-97 and she has had some relapses and is asking me to look into it online. I am wondering what anyone's opinion might be. At this point she is willing to do whatever it takes to save her life and that means staying away from the first drink. I am a brand new internet user and am having a difficult time getting into on-line meetings any help on that would be greatly appreciated also. Thanks to all that keep this going. God Bless Us All!!


Member: Al cohalic
Location: Ms
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 15:44:16

Comments

Al cohalic here, At this point she is willing to do whatever it takes to save her life and that means staying away from the first drink. That really says it all. I feel that if that is true then no thing will be wrong with or without antibuse. The wounded and sick often use cruches to recover.


Member: Sanders W
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 15 Apr 1998
Time: 22:20:54

Comments

Hi De De, I am very definately an alcoholic and my name is Sanders. After I first came into AA, I spent the next 7 years trying to prove i I was not powerless over alcohol. I thought I was trying to get sober in the program as I was going to meetings often and doing all they told me to do except I could not stop drinking. With that information, I went to a Dr. and told him I was an alcoholic but could not stop drinking and would he give me a prescription for antibus. He gave me one after taking my blood pressure and checking me over, He made me promise him that I would not take the antibuse till I went back and he checked my blood pressure again. He explained, if I took it with my blood pressure where it was at the time, it would kill me. I aggreed to that condition and got the prescription and left. I kept the prescription and continued to drink. I could not stay off the booze long enough to take the antibuse to keep me from drinking. I carried that prescription with me in my wallet till it literaly wore out, and never did fill it. I finally reached my point of surender where I gave up and wanted to quit drinking and not wanted to want to stop. When I came back in I was willing to settle for anything other than drunk. I was very desperate at this point in my life and was willing to go to any length to get what you people had. Today, I am glad I never filled the prescription as I do not believe it would have worked for me. As I said for me the secret was wanting to stop and not "wanting to want" to stop. I feel today that anyway a person can stay away from a drink one day at a time is OK. If nothing else maybe it will keep you away from a drink till you can make a decision for yourself. Do what you have to because for an alkie to continue to drink is for an alkie to die. Good luck to you and may God bless. Remember this God loves you and so do I and there is nothing you can do about it. Sanders


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 00:00:13

Comments

Hi everyone, Linda an alcoholic. Thanks Martina G from England for thinking of me in your prayers. Lord knows I need them right now.

Welcome to all the newcomers. It is good to see so many of you coming on-line. I bet our co-founders never thought their recovery program would be so expansive and involve this type of equipment we are now using to communicate with each other.

Doug, sounds like you need to get in touch with AA in your area and get to meetings. It is important not to spend too much time into morbid reflection about harms done to others when you are so new. Staying sober one day at a time is critical for the first few months. This program will help you eventually face and deal with the mess you made of your life. A sponsor will assist you with that phase of your recovery. Until then, attend as many meetings as possible. Keep coming back.

Fayla sorry to hear about your brother. I do not know much about that condition, but we can trust that the doctors are doing what they can, and we are doing our part, praying for his recovery.

To Richard from N.Y. If we all felt the same about things, we would be bored silly. No one would have a reason to attempt to communicate with one another. Hang in there. A little diversity can be interesting. At least it gets us to thinking about what we do believe. Everyone is entitled to there views. May we all respect each other in that regard. Keep coming back. What I do bring to the forfront in my mind before speaking out on issues is the 12 Traditions. If I heed to those the best I can and remember we are all inclusive, never exclusive; the only requirement is a desire stop drinking; and consider the welfare of the whole and not just the one (self), my sharing will be along the guidlines that Bill and Dr Bob intended.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 00:26:42

Comments

Glen H from Denton TX, I didn't mean to infer everyone needed schooling, just Richard. Heck I think you're cool as can be!


Member: Happy, Joyous, Free
Location:
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 00:51:03

Comments

Be aware of the complications of taking Antibuse and drinking. I do not know exactly, but I have heard that a person could get really physically sick behind doing both. For me, they would have to come up with a pill that would paralize (spell?) both my arms, especially at the elbow, so that I couldn't pick up the glass or bottle. See, there were days when this disease was so cunning, baffling and powerful that I would start out a day totally and completely convinced that I would not drink, then something would happen, maybe I got mad at someone, or I got on the pity pot (which just gets you a ring around your ass), and off to the bar I would go. Thank God I had an AA clubhouse to run to when I finally got willing. It was definately a crutch, no doubt about it, but it got me going in the program.


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 02:14:44

Comments

Hello to all, Amy and I am an alcoholic. Doris I posted you a too lengthy note in the discussion area and had no idea you are American Indian, I am part Cherokee from NC therefore I said I do not look like swiss miss! I could relate when you talked about the drunks you saw in Germany, and you know also my only other link like this to the US is TV (CNN,NBCEurope) and there I see for example sporting events or so back home (like the recent final four where UNC choked) and you know there too were dumb looking drunks. I am sure I was the dumbest looking drunk because I thought for years people thought I was normal when they knew before I admitted I had a drinking problem. Then finally had the courage to say I am an alcoholic once I learned about the disease. Al Coholic I agree with what you say about crutches, I had to detox then have occasionally had to take pills for anxiety or depression but have always weaned myself from them as soon as able, I never heard of the above mentioned medicine, I was given phenobarbital for a 7 day period, then Zoloft so these were crutches but the Dr. proscribed it to me and one day at a time now I am sober. I hope you all have a good day, Love, Amy G.C.


Member: Martina G
Location: New England
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 07:38:35

Comments

Good morning everyone....

Dee Dee - I tried looking up some info on atibuse so I could give you a web site, but found very little. For me, five weeks in rehab was my equivalent to antibuse. It was a crutch I needed to get me over the hump. It's probably a personal decision --- different strokes for different folks.

Richard --- thanks for telling us about where you were and where you are. I'm glad your dreams are coming true. That is a nice testimony to those who believe that alcohol has robbed them of any possible dream realization. I, too, have always been fascinated with the law (i.e., outside of trying not to get a DWI) and I realized as I read your post that there is NO WAY I would have ever thought that I could actually assume such a vocation or that I deserved anything except sort of "to be allowed to still stay on the planet as long as I didn't drink." I don't see things this way anymore, and my dreams did change as I got older, so whatever opportunites I passed on when I was younger are now in the past, even in my desire. But it is nice to see you are going for it.

Have a great day everyone.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 10:43:59

Comments

Hi there Richard here alcoholic, thanks Martina G for your kind words. I have struggled, but now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Next year I will graduate for the first time since junior high (ha,ha,ha,ha). I guess that sounds lame, but I was too busy drinking to go to the last 2/3rds of high school. I really never though it would ever happen, and I still have my doubts, but if my H.P. says then it is. Any way thanks for your ongoing kindness.

To I believe it was Libby, I have skimmed the past week and I am the only Richard posting, but for future shares I will go by Richard from the West Coast. See I've lived here all my life, and want to move somewhere different. Not as a geographical, for I have 4 more years here, but for change. See the only times I've been anywhere far from the West Coast was in a military capacity.

Sorry, to those who like jumping in on people's recovery with sarcasm and insults, but I have figured out that response is all that you crave, and I will not be a part of that. At lest that is where I'm at this point.

I only remember that Bill speaking of the meetings being for newcomers and that we would find mental stimulation and fellowship: not a quote. So, I think that I'm with Linda P when it comes to wanting to share like Bill, Bob, and the other 100 or so, more anonymous, co-founders of A.A though I suspect that we would find the compilation of their opinions as varied as ours. That would make the idea of how we should share very broad: probably.

Here's to unity, read ya later


Member: Ali
Location: California
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 13:05:31

Comments

Ali, Alcoholic. Ideas, opinions and ways of looking at life are all part of my experience, strenght and hope. When I judge others it is based in fear. When I become defensive it is based in fear. When I criticize others I am criticizing Gods work. I'm so glad you are all here. I see pieces of myself in everyone and it always takes me back to doing the best that I can with what I have for today. I was feeling really yucky earlier. With the help of my sponsor all the things that seemed so big boil down to one thing....I haven't taken time for myself lately so I'm getting a sitter and packing myself off to a movie with a friend. If anything is left over when I get back I will deal with it then... Love and thanks and prayers.


Member: Doris H
Location: Oregon
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 14:01:22

Comments

Greetings! Fayla, I am praying for you and your brother, his health and your peace. David B - - CHILL - - Martina G where in NE are you? My husband is from NH and we love it there. Doug H-- YOU CAN break the chain.I broke one. So did my brothers. We are from a family of incest. They - - say that it runs in families. I don't think so but it stopped with us. I have a long and maddening story about what led me to this point but! I am not going to let the history of my family destroy mine or anyone else's life. I think that you sound depressed as well. I found that meetings helped me with that a lot. It wasn't easy but I just had to get outside myself. I went to meetings even when I wanted to sit in a dark room and watch old movies. I do wish you well. The BB also helped me with depression but I couldn't just sit at home and read it. I would go to a park or park on the side of the road or anything or any place to get out of my routine. At those dark I am not my own best company. This program gave me hope and that was a new thing for me. I hope that you find that as well as strength and peace. Amy in Switzerland, I enjoy hearing from you and about your life a lot. That must be a marvelous place to live. I will pray for your husband. We stayed in Beryn (forgive the spelling) and loved it. I was in your country 7 days ago. That thought is amazing to me since I have never before left the U S. Power, peace and sobriety to you all. Doris


Member: JOHN N.
Location: CORK IRELAND
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 19:07:22

Comments

hi this is john n and tom n [brothers] both AA members. We have a sister Dolores O S in Boston MASS. who is also in the fellowship. If any of you cyber members know her please send our love.thanks from two gratefull members.tom also sends greetings to all AA in GLASGOW . SCOTLAND.


Member: Mark B.
Location: Eielson AFB, Alaska
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 19:53:24

Comments

Mark, dope fiend alcoholic, God, I love this. sign online to see the sunshine social club debating the addict vs alcoholic debate. Too cool. I can only say for me, my drug of choice was Chevas Regal. couldn't be a drunk because I drank Chevas, right? But I took anything I could get my grubby little hands on or smoked anything I could get rooled up in ZigZag papers. Whatever. I know in Bill's story, he talks about being strug out on "high powered seditives", but I guess he doesn't count, maybe? For me, I really don't care what addiction a person has because I listen to the underlining causes of the persons' story. I listen for the similarities not the differences. At least I try to. Not perfect by any strech of the imagination, but, anything is better than what it was for me. I'm just amped to be alive, to be able to feel, regardless of the feeling, because I numbed myself out not to feel for so long. Learning how to deal with the feelings is the tough part of the deal for me. Thankfully, I ain't alone, and I know, God didn't bring me this far to drop me. right now, the sun is shining, it's getting up to 60 today, and the snow is melting like crazy. Great stuff. I guess I've never really had it so good. But as a drunk, give me a second alone with my thinking, and I'll turn a diamond into a lump of coal, or a rose into a pile of $%^&. Sponsor told me a long time ago that that is the nature of the beast. I'm a hypocritical ingrate. Man, I'm sitting here at home typing on this box doing things routinely today I fantasized about from a barstool. What a gift. I heard it said best by this little red haired lady in the Arid Club in Lancaster CA a long time ago. she told me; "Mark, an alcoholic is the only person in the world who receives a gift, and wants a reward". Yeppers, that's me Well, it's time to put some Van Halen into the CD player, take a hot shower, put my uniform on, and go do my thing to defend the country and the free world. Hugs to all,

Mark


Member: Mary S.
Location: China, Maine
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 19:53:59

Comments

Hi I'm Mary and I'm an alcolholic. This is where I need to bee right now. I'm very frustrated and for a simple little reason. I'm having trouble doing what I want with the computer. So I'm here to talk and listen and also I am going to a women's AA retreat for a weekend in May. If anyone of you have been to one could you tell me what it's like. I'm going with another AA member and I sure I will get a lot out of it, but I would like any feedback.


Member: JOHN N
Location: CORK IRELAND,
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 20:08:12

Comments

HI JOHN N HERE. MARY S I CANT SEND E MAIL OR RECIEVE E MAIL ON MY PC YET I CAN SEND AND RECEIVE TO STAYING CYBER. I THINK MY PC IS HIGHER POWERED, I LOVE THIS SITE AND ALL MEMBERS SOBER AND ESPECIALLY THOSE STILL SUFFERING,LETS ALL PRAY FOR THEM.


Member: SKIP B
Location: CHILLICOTHE, OHIO
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 21:25:47

Comments

HELLO MY NAME IS SKIP AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR TWO (2) WEEKS TO FIND AN ONLINE MEETING AND AM EXCITED ABOUT THE COFFEE POT I'VE BEEN IN RECOVERY OVER NINE(9) YEARS BUT HAVE BECOME VERY DISSAPPOINTED IN MY LOCAL AA. CONSEQUENTLY, I HAVE NOT BEEN TO A MEETING IN OVER SIX (6) MONTHS. I DON'T HAVE A DESIRE TO USE AT THIS POINT BUT I DO KNOW I NEED SOME CONTACT WITH SOME HEALTHY PEOPLE. DID I MENTION I LIVE IN A VERY SMALL TOWN. MY "DIVORCE" FROM AA IS A VERY LONG STORY AND I WILL NOT BORE ANYONE WITH IT I'M JUST GLAD I'M HERE TONIGHT (IF THIS WORKS)


Member: Jeff B
Location: Ala
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 21:51:59

Comments

Skip B your divorce from AA is very scarry. I, having been sober a few 24hrs myself would not be able maintain a attitude of gratitude without going to meetings and seeing allmy fellow drunks whom I've come to know and love as being human while being the best friends a guy can have. I do know that at around 7yrs I became less than happy with my home group and stayed away for periods of time. Then I realized it was my ego and pride that got in the way, not the other members. I had to learn how to place principles before personalities all over again. Hope you can find your way back to face to face fellowship soon until then keep coming back here.


Member: Mark W.
Location: VA
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 22:00:39

Comments

To Skip B., I am pretty fed up with my local aa groups also. I am sober one day at a time. This site really helps.


Member: DJH
Location: IN the west
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 22:50:36

Comments

Note to Skip B and Mark W. Hay you guys, . . . . . . Do you know what makes a club or an organization? THE PEOPLE IN IT. You are the people in it. If it's that bad, fix it ! I go to a meeting in town that I have come to love very much. There is a meeting on my street out here in the country but I never went to it. 15 months. One night at my town meeting a guy was trying to enlist people to go the country meeting and I had to be honost with myself about why I didn't go to that meeting. It was just toooooooo close to home. So ! I decided to go to it and it was really great. It's very nice to have a meeting on your own street. I don't have any idea what the problem is with your meetings but I do hope that you can find a way to participate and have some input aimed at fixing whatever the problem is. Maybe you aren't the only ones having a problem. Consider it service work. By the way, someone pointed out to me that "having trouble with acceptance" may have been my reason for not attending the country meeting and I had to do some honost self examination and admit that they were right. That was a gift that has helped me a great deal. My ACCEPTANCE did need some work. Go with God gentlemen. DJH


Member: Mary S
Location: China,Maine
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 23:16:16

Comments

Hi,Mary here and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you John N. for the reply. Its so amazing that I can talk to so many people and from so far away about a similar subject. I have a home town meeting that I go to every week. We are a small meeting and I have come to love those people like my own family. But no matter, everyone I have met or just talked to who is in recovery I feel a close bond with. No matter how long or short their sobriety I listen and I learn and most of the time I relate to at least part of what they say. I have finally found a place I belong. I will never grow out of AA nor if I fail I will not be kicked out


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENAK
Date: 16 Apr 1998
Time: 23:41:49

Comments

FAYLA G ,WITH MY LOVE AND THANKS to all of you ,Tonight my sister in law came by t they put my brother in the hospital today .she told me he didnt want anyone to come see him right now he feels too bad to visit. I understand that .I SAT DOWN in my chair and cried awhile ,then i got on hERE,and read all you loveing and careing thoughts ,I cant begin to tell you ,how good it made me feel knowing you are all there ,it sure eased the pain and i felt your love and careing fill my heart ;IVE had some wonderfull things happen to me in this program and you are all a big part of them .Ithink ill keep comming back. ps. yes doris that s the name of his liver desese . I LOVE YOU ALL ,FAYLA


Member: FAYLA    G
Location: GALENA   KS
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 00:13:39

Comments

FAYLA TO LIBBY , YES THAT S, THE NAME OF MY BROTHERS , LIVER PROBLEM, THANKS AGIN TO ALL AMY, LIBBY, BONNIE ,DORIS, LINDA RICHARD. MUCH LOVE TO EVERYONE OF YOU . FAYLA


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, FL.
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 01:50:34

Comments

HI I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Real sorry to hear about your brother and I will pray for him, you and the rest of your family. Don't ever feel bad about crying, I can cry today and once when I was having a bad time and crying I was told by a very wise person not to feel bad about it because, he said "when the eyes leak, the head will not swell". As I told you I can cry today Fayla; Sometimes the are tears of joy and sometimes they are tears of sorrow. Either way it is OK so you just hang in there and remember God was, is and will always be in control. All we have to do is to be compatible with his will for us. God bless and love to all...............To the ones who don't like their F2F meetings. I remember complaining to an old hard nosed AA several years back about certain types of meetings and not liking them and he listened patiently to me and then replied " I don't like them too much either but if that is the only meeting around, I'll be there on the front row every time they meet." He was sober about 32 or 33 years at the time. Since then I have been to lots of meetings and I never remember going to a meeting, expecting a good meeting when I did not get a good meeting. I also never remember going to a meeting expecting a bad meeting when I didn't get a bad meeting, so I finally got smart and realized I got what I was expecting. Now I never go to a bad meeting and it is simply great. If a person wants to stay sober, they will find a way. If they want to drink, they will find an excuse. Love to all Sanders


Member: Linda P
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 02:11:55

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic.

To Mary S from China, Maine. I have been to a few women's retreats involving AA recovery. They were all wonderful. In the ones in California, they usually have a quest speaker and generally have a topic for the weekend. Working the 12 steps and practical exercises in sharing at small groups in between speaker sessions was very helpful for me. That was my first retreat. The others were good also, but the very first one left its mark on my spiritual life. Let us know what you think of it when you return. Skip--I also have had problems at my home group meeting after a few years being sober. What I did was go to other meetings I was unfamiliar with for about 6 months, and then walked back into my old group refreshed, looking to put something into it instead of what I could get out of it. The service angle, mentioned earlier by someone else, is what also helped me get beyond that stuck feeling. Sometimes a breath of fresh air is good, but do not eliminate face to face meetings, even if it means you start a new one. Many meetings had their beginnings from disgruntled members. Stay with us on-line and keep us abreast of your progress. We care.

Now I have a question--I ran into a section on-line regarding Cyber Sponsors and Cyber Sponsees. Is anyone with this group involved with volunteering for such service on-line? If so, how is that working out?

I also noticed some people place their e-mail address on-line. Is there a risk to view these messages as far as obtaining a virus? I would like to get on a one on one with some of the women in the group, but I am too afraid of the consequences.

Here is something cute I heard and want to pass on. Someone stated once in a meeting that her mind was a dangerous neighborhood, she got mugged there often. What an adequate discription when we dwell on the negative in our lives. Thank God this is a WE and US program, we never have to do this sober thing alone. Love ya all.


Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 02:38:55

Comments

Hello to all, Amy an alcoholic. Fayla my best friend once told me "go ahead and cry get it out, tis toxic chemicals in there too that need to clear, I cry all the time tis good for you". It made me laugh. I will keep prayin for your brother. Doris in Oregon I have never been there but saw it in a movie "James at 16" when I was 16 and thought it was beautiful, rolling green hills. Here we live about 15 miles from the 2nd largest lake in europe the Lake of Constance (Bodensee) and the Säntis alp chain starts here, it is beautiful some days and some days I am in a funk because of my disease and there is not much that can please me, isn`t that sicko? This site helps alot if I need a meeting and I am one of those who needs the program. So you who wrote directly above, I know what you mean about getting bogged in negative thoughts. Sometimes I can dwell on the past mistakes even though I know in my head and heart they are gone and forgiven, it is the anxiety, the Nerves. Pray for me in this regard please friends and have a good weekend we get fresh pages tomottow, Love Amy G.C.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 05:30:21

Comments

Hi there it's Richard here and I am an Alcoholic. That I don't believe is an opinion but a fact. Boy, what Sanders says about being ready to stop drinking is my experience as well. An old-old time at one of my home groups says it best when he says, " stopping drinking is easy when you are really through with the stuff, but it's hard as hell if you're not. I don't mean he says it any better than you though Sanders. Ha,ha. Just kidding with ya.

To those having stress over their face to face meetings. I personally think that those meetings really help me to get different opinions and keep me hooked up in the program. But, I sometimes want to hear/see different people. Each group has a different personality. Some are cuter than others, so maybe a little travel could help. In the end to thine own self be true. If you are on good spiritual ground then you may have a good defense. Maybe a refresher with the Big Book would help put things into perspective. I don't feel that meetings are necessary on a daily basis for everyone, but I try to get to at least one a week. Recovery for me though is more an internal job, for I only have to be honest with myself. If strong resentments are the cause for your staying away then danger may exist: in my opinion, for resentments in themselves are dangerous. When I'm in danger on my own then I better get some other soberites around me. This could mean my sponsor, another member, or just stopping by a meeting to see if I know anyone that I want to talk to for a minute. A meeting is not the only way for you to tap into the fellowship of the program. Of course I do not know where you live, but hey there is always those fun weekend trips to counties far away. Some cities even have alano clubs with pool table and the occasional dance. Anyway, that's my take of the fellowship. Take what you want leave the rest, and most importantly give away what you took. Maybe that is the answer as well; maybe you guys just need to carry the message to other suffering alcoholics. The Big Book says hospitals and institutions are good hunting grounds, but now-a days I do not know if they are as accessible. But, the streets are filled with the suffering. At least they are in the cities surrounding my place.

Anyway, from the West Coast that's my take. Remember to take what you want and leave the rest and try not drinking while you are at it.

I'm not saying that you are. Ha, ha.

See Ya.


Member: Kristy
Location: NY
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 06:27:47

Comments

I have found much comfort in this group in recent weeks because I, too, became alienated from my local groups. Am sober many years and a solid serious AA who never strayed in almost 20 yrs. The story is lenghty and painful but part of the issue is that our beginner's meeting had become an NA meeting. I could not identify and therefore missed a key element in our recovery.

My speaker meeting was also heading in that direction with complete drug-a-logs. I could tough it out and glean what I could from this unrecognizable AA but after a brutal businsess meeting didn't go back. Asking HP for direction. Bless you all. I know you're not a substitute for FTF meetings, but you've saved my life until I find or start a new meeting. Kristy


Member: Martina G
Location: Connecticut, New England
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 07:40:26

Comments

Good Morning everyone,

Hi Doris, I live in rural Connecticut. I grew up outside of Philadelphia and then lived 5 years in New York City, so this was quite a switch for me. I love it here. It is so peaceful and the dramatic season changes are always exhilarating. However, NH, Vermont and coastal Maine are really the places to take your breath away (at least in the Northeast) I recently spent two weeks in Spain visiting my daughter and even the Sierra Nevada mountains didn't affect me the way New England does. (my daughter would disagree! I was never so happy so see a place in my life as when I stepped back into New England after my trip. I consider living here a gift. During spring and summer months, I get up very early and come to work just so I can see the sun rise over the rolling hills and watch the farms and trees appear under the rising morning mist. I missed this beauty for many years because of my hangover fog every morning. I still remember when, a couple of years into sobriety, the day I was sitting on my couch very early in the morning drinking a cup of coffee (and enjoying coffee!) --- I was looking out the window at the budding trees and realized that it was the first time in my life I remembered feeling joy for no apparent reason. Of course you don't need rural surroundings for this, as that type of joy is an inner thing, but God is personal and I believe he knew that this natural beauty would be important to me. And it is.

Fayla --- you know we are all praying for you and your family. Let yourself continue to feel what you feel.

Thanks for all the sharing and caring. Reading this site is always such a nice way to take a break at work.


Member: Sandy A.
Location: By the Heads in SD
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 08:05:20

Comments

Hi, Sandy, alcoholic - to Linda in Fresno, CA - I had my e-mail address posted as a online sponsor - I've had 6 women e-mail me - I've e-mailed them all back - but so far no one has come back for a second time - I'm not new to this AA thing either - and have just shared with them my E, S, & H. But ya know what, I've stayed sober even if they didn't like what I've said.

I too, don't like my little home town meetings - good meetings - small room - too much smoke. And yes, I too smoked for many years - I still get to FtoF meetings in another town - bigger room - guess I can always start my own meeting - it's been done before.

Celebrating Sobriety ODAT. Sandy


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 08:26:45

Comments

Hi Everyone Libby alcoholic--- I went to the service for Ray last night and there was standing room only A major outpouring of love and concern for his Daughter Amy. I did get in touch with "You use you loose" I'm now aware! Jails institutions or death! Some people at the service were saying Ray always said"if I ever pick up I hope I die" And that he did---- Onto running from home groups-- Idid that over a year ago and the person who posted about pride and ego hit the nail on the head. That was me. As I posted before, Guess it was the 12&12,running is not the answer for me today. I can be so thinned skinned I need to have my other AA buffers IE:Sponsor,Friends,cyber friends ,all of you here,and most importantly the God I understand.Today, I am noticing when I want to put my "running shoes on" it is God Saying "Come closer Libby."It is truly my only defense. Just want take the time and say Hi Richard from the West Coast. I enjoy your posts. Fayla hang in there. Today I go to the liver specialist.Probably She will order more tests.What else is new. I am feeling very grateful to you all(hi Bon)Now I hope sometime during this day I pass is on. As we draw another sober breath Peace--- Libby


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 11:52:44

Comments

Love to all from fayla ,first thing this morning my brother called me from the hospital,boy was it good to here his voice,I told Tommy that wonderfull freinds from all over the world are praying for him ,he said that is relley neat ,he was in good SPIRITS,he will undergo more tests today , they havent told him anything yet .Iknow that he will be comforted ,knowing your all there as i myself am .I had me a good cry some of my tears were happy tears ,I dont stuff things like i used to because its a big part of what keeps me sober .I was tought that you dont cry and show your feelings,as my brother put it pull you self up by your bootstraps and go on,I wish i could bring my mother back long enough ,so she could find what i have ,and that its allright to talk and its alright to hurt and let that pain be replaced with love and forgivness, And most of all to know i dont half to do this alone anmymore ,I only hope i can give back ,what i have receved from god and all the wonderfull freinds i have . I thank you from the bottom of my heart and T OMMY THANKS YOU TOO, LOVE AND HUGS FROM ME AND TOMMY TO YOU FAYLA G


Member: Someone
Location: Somewhere
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 12:18:59

Comments

Hey Fayla and all others out there in pain, stay strong even if it feels like you are being weak. We know that you are strong.


Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, Alaska
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 14:20:25

Comments

Mark- Dope Fiend Alcoholic. Gooooooooooood Morning world. AAAAAAArgh. Had to do the mobility thing last night and simulate processing through our mobility line in preparation of going to the simulated war. sometimes I think the US military is totally anal... Oh well, I've only got a few more years to retirement and then, hasta la pasta uniforms. I get sick of wearing green all the time. I'm at the gilfriend's house this fine morning babysitting and recovering from lack of sleep and figured to drop in. She and I have been dating now for about 3 months and she's the first woman I've dated in over 12 years who isn't in the program. Her views on the disease blow me away. She came to hear me speak last week at a local speaker meeting and was amazed at how I tend to complicate the hell out of very simple things. Insightful. Like I really needed to hear that. but, I do over-analyize and have to be reminded that I can't think my way to better living. Got to do the actions, simple actions all laid out for me in the first 164 of the BB. No original brainpower required on my part. Thank God. I used to think I was a complicated person, but through the years I've come to understand that Im not. I'm very simple. I have the same basic wants, needs, and desires as the next person in this thing called life. My EGO demands that I be complicated, that I make mountains out of the molehills, that I be a complex individual. No, Dr. Bob was right when he told Bill, " For God's sake Smitty, keep it simple". The simpler I can keep things in my life, the better my life seems to be, the more accepting and tolerable I am of myself and others. Gotta remember, God doesn't make junk, and I'm one of Gods' kids. Easy, simple, but I got a great memory, it's just short, which is why I need to keep going to meetings to be reminded that this deal works if I stay out of the way and let God do his job. Hugs and love to all,

Mark


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA KS
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 18:24:03

Comments

FAYLA, Thank you sanders ,for your heartfelt thoughts LOVE YOU FAYLA .


Member: kgsjfdgkjflksdjfdkjgsdkljfd
Location:
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 18:32:53

Comments


Member: Mark W.
Location: VA
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 18:39:32

Comments

Mark here, a raging alcoholic. I appreciate the feedback on my comment that "I am pretty fed up with my local aa groups". My disenchantment grew over a period of about a year, after being in the program about two years. I love AA. After twenty years of wild drinking, AA has given me an always available source of serenity. There is no doubt that my current unhappiness with some local AA members is in fact the result of unwanted resentments that I have developed within myself. I agree with Sanders that if an alcoholic wants to find an excuse to drink, he will. That is definitely true with me. For my part, I have prayed extensively about my very strong resentments, but so far they are still there. I really don't think that it is a step one problem. I know that I am an alcoholic. When I drink, my life is absolutely out of control. Alcohol had me licked that night when I was fourteen and took my first drink, vodka, and then didn't stop drinking until I threw up and passed out. This disease was just waiting for me. I agree that I have worked myself into a dangerous situation. I talked about it extensively in meetings and in therapy. I just can't seem to shake it right now, so when I force myself to go to meetings, as I did every day for four months straight before I laid off, I just end up getting pissed off. Right now, for me, online meetings have to take the place of ftf meetings. I feel awful about the whole situation. Every now and then I see my sponsor and my heart hurts.

I thank my hp for each and every one of you out there to whom I can communicate online. So far this arrangement seems to be working out a whole lot better than having no contact at all with the program. I believe that someday I will go back to groups, but right now I need to let my emotions calm down. Thanx for listening. I need for you all to be there.


Member: Kerry B. - Alcoholic
Location: Southeastern Idaho
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 18:47:57

Comments

Oh yes!! SPRING TIME IN THE ROCKIES!! That means snow on my Daffodils and everything else out there. At least it's not sticking!!! I even heard "Let it Snow" on the radio today. Those jokers on the radio are having a ball. It has snowed every day this week, really minor compared to the folks in Tennesee. I'll take snow over a Tornado any day. I aint no fool!! Still recovering from the 15th. I think the President should declare April 15th a national Paid holiday. Just call it a National Stress Day. And not withhold taxes on that day either. Sounds good to me. Now, on to this meeting or no meeting thing. I have shared this before, and I will keep it short. I moved to a small town from a large town (L.A.) There are at least 10 billion (yes Im kidding on that number) meetings a week in the Greater Los Angeles Area. The 11 years I was sober there, I never felt "unloved or unaccepted", because we were all there for the same reason. However, when I EXPECTED the same feelings here, and time and again did not experience them (for at leat 4 years) here, I had to realize that it just wasn't ME. I have contact with a few other ex-drunks here, and it has had to fill the fellowship need for me. And finding this site has done me a world of good, because I'm not confined to the general attitude in the meetings here. It's a lack of Unity here, thats all. I have my higher power and the big book, and my sobriety. Really, what more could I ask for. I love you all.


Member: Annie G.
Location: CA
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 19:38:21

Comments

I am new at this online stuff but not to the program. I have been disconnected for quite some time. I do have a sponsor and I work the program, but not to the best of my ability. I am coming up on 6 years and I feel like my spiritulality (sp) is not what it could be. I keep hearing that the road gets narrower. What worked before just isn't cutting it anymore. Any suggestions on re-vamping my program. I go to meetings, work with others, pray & mediatate. Thank you for being here.


Member: Linda P.
Location: Fresno, CA, USA
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 21:21:09

Comments

Hi everyone, Linda an alcoholic.

Sandy, thanks for responding to my inquiry. As an on-line sponsor, do you suppose those that do not write again find it a lot easier to skirt working the program having an on-line sponsor instead of a person they can meet with face to face? My sponsor continually pulled my covers. I could not get away with anything. On-line, I think I could be evasive about the way I feel, and without the connection to view my facial expressions and body language, those assisting me would be at a disadvantage as to how to respond to my needs. Being honest and factual is helpful. Compassion I feel for me needs to be felt physically by a hug or a look of concern, or the tone of voice that carries sympathy. On-line is great, but it can not fully replace the FTF meetings for me. How do others view the differences in cyber talk verses human contact?

Love to all, Linda P.


Member: Pat M.
Location: Toronto
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 23:33:14

Comments

Hi Linda. I'm kind of an embryonic member of FTF meetings but I must confess they were less warm and fuzzy than I anticipated. I heard about the cyber group on the radio and tonight is my first trip here. The FTF meetings have been inspirational -good speakers and a lot of stories which I can relate to due to my 20 odd years of getting drunk myself - but it wasn't quite what I thought it would be. Maybe I'll try another group. What amazes me about this format is that everybody comes from so many different places. Also is it my imagination or are there more women than men visitng this site?


Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA   KS
Date: 17 Apr 1998
Time: 23:58:52

Comments

FAYLA ,,,AA. Hello plained to go to a women s meeting tonight but i was really tired , I had very little sleep last night , couldnt get my brother off my mind .I GO to a group called froglickers ,and we call are building the lilli pad ,Ilike this group i have met alot of neat folks there. I WAS going to start going to ACOA ,MEETINGS but my brother ,thinks i need to get a sponser first and work threw some things .ITS been a good day ,MYoldert daughter sent me a songagram on the phone ,i didnt know they had such a thing ,it was really cute ,i love 50s music and the song she had them play was one i love ,going to the chappel, SOME OF YOU wont know it .some will any way i loved it , latter much love to all FAYLA G


Member: SKIP 
Location:
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 00:36:13

Comments

hi all I'm kip & i'm an alcolholic: to all who responded to my last post i spent years as part of AA on the inside. involved in service work i've even worked in the field 8 years. my co-workers (alcoholics) help keep me grounded also like the BB says "professional help" i see my own therapist regurlar (sorta). My "divorce didn't happen overnite. it was a couple years in the making it was excatly over personalities befoe principals and also ethics( and EGO) because of this someon got arrested, got fired from thier job (which i helped them get) and of course i became the bad guy they, as always became the victim. peoples nieviety and desire to believe in the good in people allowed most of my local AA to become devided sides began to form and the battle lines were drawn no matter how hard i tried to detach i would find myself deep in the zone. mostly because I needed AA and wanted desperately to have my most treasured friends believe me, and of course on my "side" it took many many months but the truth finally came out the person was using and engaged in crimnal behavior but the damage was done. I was hurt and angrey i couldn't let go. that was two years ago. i kept goin to meetings but i had a moment of "clarity" and was no longer able to see the good in the people any longer only the dysfunction and sick behaviors for months i felt worse after i left the meeting than when i went in. this was not good. i changed my attitude and preception and decided "if i am not getting anything from the meeting then lets see what i can give to the meetings. this lasted a short while then kinda what kristy from NY said meetings were different ie: i missed 2 weeks of my usual step meeting (closed) and some newcommers (not home members) called a "group concience" and changed the meetin to an "open recovery discussion" { W O W !!!!!!!! this is the first time i've said to anyone beside my wife.} anyway boy did the resement oil burn any ways i was back to feeling worse comming out than when i went in the meeting so 6 or 7 months ago i retired from AA FTF meetings. of course there were several other things that happened in there that i didn't go into, your welcome :), but also played an important role in the seperation wow i'm rambleing THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE


Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 00:52:16

Comments

well ...Sandy...you gave me the best laugh i have had in a few hours...they don't e-mail back? the noyve of dem alkies... but as you said..you are sober...you know that one of our founders after a long night of 12 stepping....turned and said to his wife..".I just don't get it ..all my efforts and they all get drunk."..to which she simply replied.." yes, dear, but you are still sober.."And sweet Fayla...you are a true inspiration...i look for your remarks...pure honesty and simplicity...just what this alcoholic needs....when i showed up here...I was having a hard time ..shame, guilt...etc. and as I held back tears one night...this person about 6' 4" towered over me and said.." Hey..go ahead and cry.. don't you know that is the angels way of cleansing your soul.....? " god bless all .... peace, jrr


Member: Sharon F.
Location: Kansas
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 01:59:36

Comments

Linda P. hang in there, I can relate! At times it seems to hard to deal with, then H.P. knows just when to step in and do the carrying. First time to be able to sit and really read what everyone has to type and just a reminder that it doesn't matter whether online or in a closed meeting EVERYONE has their own opinion. So thanks for getting me geared back up to go back to my meeting. I have discovered that it is I who needs to practice acceptance, it is me not my group. And thanks to Marry W. for getting me to this page.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 14:49:12

Comments

I get disenchanted with my groups like anybody else, but I try to remember "it's ALWAYS me and NEVER them." Usually, I'm forgetting that meetings should be where I go to greet the newcomer, and my program is working the steps, not just going to meetings. It is possible, even probable that we will outgrow some of those around us, and we all need to be fed spiritually. Just remember -- work with other alcoholics somewhere. I have been greatly rewarded by doing volunteer work at a local outpatient program.


Member: STUART  B.
Location: CORK, IRELAND
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 14:57:04

Comments

JUST LOGGED INTO THIS SITE FOR THE FIRST TIME,ITS GREAT TO BE ALIVE AND SOBER. THANKS TO JOHN N FROM CORK FOR TELLING ME ABOUT THIS SITE


Member: Lorraine S
Location: Ontario - Canada
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 15:26:13

Comments

Suzanne H. You were an inspiration to me some months ago and I am glad to see you back here. You have what it takes to be a winner, just work the program the way you know how, "one day at a time".

Stuart B... welcome!

Bonnie, thank you for the jokes... laughter is good for the soul...thank you!

Lorraine S (~.~)


Member: Lorraine S
Location: Ontario - Canada
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 15:26:38

Comments

Suzanne H. You were an inspiration to me some months ago and I am glad to see you back here. You have what it takes to be a winner, just work the program the way you know how, "one day at a time".

Stuart B... welcome!

Bonnie, thank you for the jokes... laughter is good for the soul...thank you!

Lorraine S (~.~)


Member: Jeanne K
Location: S.D.
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 16:04:21

Comments

Mark, in Ka. BOY ! Got yourself in a hole somehow didn't you? I've been in that hole befor and It is a very lonely place to be. AND being there pissed at the same time doesn't sound like a very safe place to be. I am not going to lecture you OR tell you what to do but I will say that I am concerned about you. I don't hear any "hope" in that you wrote to us all. I also don't hear companionship and no socializing as well. When I find myself alone with myself for long periods of time I do get lonely and in desperate need of intellectual stimulation . I have been sober 16 months yesterday and a few months ago I used to go to a meeting of all women 12 X 12 and I DID love it. The women were great and I got a lot out of it. It, in fact was the first meeting I ever went to. Well, one day I was sharing and this older ladywith 20 years who was RUNNING the meeting tapped her watch. SHE TAPPED "HER" WATCH. Of course I finnished up right now and left the meeting feeling like I had just been spanked. (I am 52 years old) I didn't like that feeling much. Never did, even as a youngster. So ! Now ! I don't like that lady much either. I told all of this to a fellow attendant at this meeting and she said, "most of the time when WE find something WE don't like in someone it usually on some leval is in ourselves. B . S. I know that this can be and probably is true sometimes but not this time. She is just an errogant and vert territorial person who likes to run this show. So, I haven't gone back to this meeting. I probably will some day but I had to chew on this for a while. BUT! I am not going to let her run me off. I can go to this meeitng and enjoy it and just ignore her. And I will. We don't have to kike EVERYBODY. But! I do want to say, I have enjoyed almost all others I have encountered in A.A. Like an old guy once told me "Everybody can serve some purpose, even if all they are is a bad example. That is the one purpose I try to not serve. Jeanne


Member: Kristy
Location: NY
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 19:07:15

Comments

Mark W., Skip and others--bless you for your honesty about group resentments. It's the first time I've been able to identify with my situation; what a comfort to know that I'm not alone. Glen, that dubious paraphrasing from the 12 & 12 about always being wrong when we are upset with our group doesn't fly with me. That is one of those silly absolutes in AA that I "leave behind" . Instead, take the balanced road of Step 10 and see IF I have a part in a problem and pray for the grace to amend things. Seems grandiose to assume it's always me. And abusive-- if I am always wrong if I'm angry. That is ( forgive the tired expression, folks) dysfunctional behaviour. Love and gratitude for this great site. Kristy


Member: Mark W.                                        
Location: VA
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 19:15:29

Comments

My name is Mark and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober and happy today. I attribute this blessed occurence to a reliance on my HP and the fact that each of you is there for me. My wife has been on a business trip for three days and believe me, my previous self would have taken this opportunity to drink, go to bars, and undoubtedly engage in awful activities. The strength that I have found through this program has allowed me to live these three days sober, happy, and useful. I thank my HP for this site, and for each one of you.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 20:40:08

Comments

Maybe, Kristy, but I really think that it is a spiritual axiom that when we are disturbed the problem is with us. Dubious? Swallowing big chunks of truth is tough.


Member:   John F
Location: Alabaster,AL
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 20:43:20

Comments

Anabuse was (I believe) created in the late 1950's . If it was a cure, You wouldn't be reading this because I would be out drinking controllably!


Member: osee@accessone.com
Location: Seattle
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 20:44:14

Comments

hello everybody my hard drive crashed and I had to buy a new computer and configure from scratch I lost all my data. Does anyony know of the meeting at five o clock eastcoast time which uses mirc? I think it is on halcyon but I will be damned if I can find it.


Member: libby
Location:
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 20:51:45

Comments

hey there-does anyone know jocularjills home page url? When we got this new system put in I lost it Hang in all Thanks Libby PS also looking for tha Aa chat room on the beseen channel lost that one too.


Member: Libby
Location:
Date: 18 Apr 1998
Time: 22:58:18

Comments

Hi all! Patience patience! I found both places I lost with a little more tolerance To osee: I don't know the one you are looking for here is mine-http://mercury.beseen.com/chat/rooms. Hope to see you there. L Rest well all---Peace Libby


Member: Bert D.
Location: Concrete Wa.
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 01:37:16

Comments

I like what Glen H. said. An alcoholic never likes to hear the truth about themselves, especially from another alcoholic. But I believe our higher power works through another recovering alcoholic. You hear what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Thats my experience. And it is a big one to chew on. Sure beats being drunk. Has worked for me for the last 6 yrs. Thanks for being here!


Member: Kristy
Location: NY
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 06:39:19

Comments

ok...so say a psycho gets let out on bail and kills my child. I am "disturbed" about it: is it a spiritual axiom that the problem is "with me"? See what I mean about absolutes? The only absolute I have found in AA is: if you don't pick up the first drink, you won't get drunk! Do I believe that divinely inspired AA still works? Absolutely!!! Love ya, Kristy


Member: Anne Marie
Location: Bawston,MA
Date: 19 Apr 1998
Time: 09:06:52

Comments

Ilove yet another oppertrnity to be with other recovering folks! Read alot of stuff. Iidentify with and greatly feel today JOY FOR NO APPARENT REASON. LoveYaMeanIt.