Current Meeting
May 25-30, 1997

 

 

Member: Joe H.

Date: 5/24/97

Time: 5:52:41 PM

Comments

This is your leader, Joe H.

My topic is: Honesty: I recently heard of a drunk who was declared"incapable of being honestr with himself." I wonder how this can be diagnosed. I know it can be suspected. I have suspected it of myself on a few occasions. I"d like to hear your comments.

 

Member: Thomas L.

Date: 5/25/97

Time: 12:47:17 AM

Comments

Capable of being honest with himsef for me equals being able to feel. So much of my life is spent running and hidding from my fear. I've spent so much of my life hidding from my feelings that it is my true defalt mode. Today six years into my recovery I relize the only way to truely feel and not be afraid of my feelings is to have a spiritual connection with my higher power who I choose to call GOD. With out the faith in a higher power I could not have the strenght to be honest which alows me to feel.

 

Member: Thomas L.

Date: 5/25/97

Time: 12:47:39 AM

Comments

Capable of being honest with himsef for me equals being able to feel. So much of my life is spent running and hidding from my fear. I've spent so much of my life hidding from my feelings that it is my true defalt mode. Today six years into my recovery I relize the only way to truely feel and not be afraid of my feelings is to have a spiritual connection with my higher power who I choose to call GOD. With out the faith in a higher power I could not have the strenght to be honest which alows me to feel.

 

Member: Judy K in Maine, USA

Date: 5/25/97

Time: 7:59:07 AM

Comments

Hi, everyone. Honesty is an excellent topic, Joe. It's the difference between my fantasy of what ought to be ... and reality. It's particularly necessary in determining my responsibility for circumstances. If I'm honest, I don't have time to blame others! I'm focusing on my part in things instead! The Twelve Steps are a lesson in self-honesty; working on myself, improving myself and my relationships with others. The same defects keep cropping up, however. Thank heavens we strive for progress, not perfection! When I'm honest, I feel peaceful too, because I'm not trying to cover up the truth. I used to make believe about all kinds of things, until the anxiety and fear were overwhelming enough to HAVE to drink. Living in relative reality is one helluv an improvement! The fear is pretty much gone, and I've discovered long moments of serenity. I think it's being in sync with the world as it is. Hey, Joe -- may we congratulate you on celebrating 25 years? I'm celebrating 27 this week, and I wish us to continue to celebrate together in the month of May for many years to come!!!

 

Member: David K. outside Reading, PA

Date: 5/25/97

Time: 9:04:08 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic Joe and congratualtions on your 25 years of continuous sobriety. May God be with you one day at a time. The topic of honesty is a good one for this ex drunk. What I have found out from my own experience is that it a dynamic(changing) process in my life. My honesty with regard to my illness came when I reached out for help and was lead to AA as a means to work on my alcoholism. I knew a few days before I came to the fellowship that I was tired of using and abusing alcohol, but I was still in denial of what was the major difficulty. You see if I could take care of my mental and emotional life then I wouldn't drink as much. What a lie I was telling myself. When I finally got some honesty and dry time I came to believe that my unmanageable life was a result of my powerless over alcohol. From that time till the present it has been the journey of sobriety with the help of the program that has brought me to a greater understanding of myself; my strengths and my weaknesses along with my shortcomings. In that way I have gained some degree of honesty which to some is equated with humility. And as I continue to travel this road I am continually reminded how much I must work to strive for honesty in my life. As for the someone being unable to be honest, I believe "How it works" says that better than I at this moment. What I do believe is that if we have this deadly disease it is possible for some people not to get sobriety until after this life. That's all for now folks. Have a good 24.

 

Member: Tim V. from Cape Cod, MA

Date: 5/26/97

Time: 1:14:14 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Tim and I'm an alcoholic. As to the diagonsis of honesty, or the incapability of being honest with oneself. If I am an alcoholic, and I admit it and don't drink today I am CAPABLE of honesty. If I am an alcoholic and I drink today, I am not capable of being honest with yourself.

While I am capable today, that doesn't mean I always am. And that is why we have steps 2-12.

Many blessings to all my friends... Tim V. Cape Cod, MA

 

Member: Perry H. in East Stroudsburg, PA

Date: 5/27/97

Time: 8:19:34 AM

Comments

I arrived in AA as a result of self preservation.

I did not believe that I had any problem with alcohol, however, it felt better in meeting s than outside of meetings.

I "honestly" felt that you guys had a real alcohol problem. I was going to stay just long enough for the panik attacks and the emotional pain to subside. God had other plans. Every time I have tried to get away from AA, Such as joining the church and bagging "those" stupid meetings the panic attacks and the chas would start again. After about three years of meetings I could say "Maybe I too, am an alcoholic of sorts!"

"I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me, Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure." page 13 of Bill's Story.

 

Member: Brian L.

Date: 5/27/97

Time: 4:37:40 PM

Comments

It sounds to me like the person who declared this man "incapable of being honest..." was practicing imperfect humility. I think it's most important that I am as honest as I can be with myself about who I am and what I'm doing with my life.

 

Member: Barbara S.

Date: 5/27/97

Time: 9:38:21 PM

Comments

AA has ruined my dishonesty, the same way it ruined my drinking. Why, I can hardly even tell a lie anymore! <g>

But I can still fool myself of course. That's why I need to talk to a sponsor or AA friend who can tell me what's going on. What's inside my head isn't necessarily what's really happening. And usually, when I have little experience in something (talking with bosses about work problems, for example), another person can help me see the right way.

So in cases where I need to interact with others, I talk with someone else. In cases where I need to interact with the world (i.e., career plans), I also talk with someone else. However, fantasy can be good for creativity, so when I am trying to create something from nothing (at work or at home, writing software utilities or writing stories or songs), then I can listen to my own voice.

As for the "diagnosis": I like to remember what it says in, I think, the Big Book: We know only a little. I can never know what God's plans are for another person. I hope for everyone's recovery....

 

Member: J.D.

Date: 5/28/97

Time: 9:59:07 AM

Comments

Hi my name is JD and I am an alcoholic I have no way of knowing if another person is being honest with themselves, even if I know a person is lying, they might believe the lie, hell I cannot even tell if I am being honest with myself most of the time. The thing I do know is if I am willing to do Gods will or not. Most of the time it is not. Some time I am. That is the getting honest part for me.

 

Member: JOANIE O

Date: 5/30/97

Time: 9:16:04 AM

Comments

Hi all my name is joanie and I am an alcoholic.In early sobriety fear kept me from bieng honest . Fearof bieng judged as not bieng an ok person ,as my recovery progressed I become aware of a deeper sense of honesty , 0ne Iwas born with and given to me by my HP.Ilost myself centeredness and gained interest in my fellow AA's,this giving helped me tolove them enough to tell them the truth. Today I can be comfortable with my own honestyand do God's work to the best of my ability. IT KEEPS ME SOBER AND HAPPY.

 

Member: JOANIE O

Date: 5/30/97

Time: 9:16:37 AM

Comments

Hi all my name is joanie and I am an alcoholic.In early sobriety fear kept me from bieng honest . Fearof bieng judged as not bieng an ok person ,as my recovery progressed I become aware of a deeper sense of honesty , 0ne Iwas born with and given to me by my HP.Ilost myself centeredness and gained interest in my fellow AA's,this giving helped me tolove them enough to tell them the truth. Today I can be comfortable with my own honestyand do God's work to the best of my ability. IT KEEPS ME SOBER AND HAPPY.

 

Member: CheriseD.

Date: 5/30/97

Time: 1:18:01 PM

Comments

Hi everyone my name is Cherise and I'm an alcoholic. Honesty is a very good topic for me Joe, thanks. I'm kinda stuck right now in figuring out what reality is and what's going on in my mind. I think I'm on the 6th step, and boy am I confused. All of my old fears are coming back after a year of sobriety and it scares me. I too (Thank my HP) know today that I have to keep in touch with my sponsor and talk to my support group for them to help me distinguish whats real and what I should be humbly asking God to remove. This is a tough spot for me to be in but I do know that I will be ok with the help of AA, my HP and my friends. I am extremely grateful that I can be an honest person today to others and to myself I really feel it makes me a better person. As far as a diagnosis, I feel the only two people that will ever really know are me and my HP. Thank you.