Member: Joanie O.
Location: Downtown Portland, PA
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 2:22:06 AM
Hi all Joanie O here alcoholic. The topic for the week is balance in our lives with life itself and AA. I find in my busy every day participation in life I must have a balance. Imust take care of myself physically as well as mentally and spiritually. These needs must be met daily,not all one week and another the next. My program comes first for without that I have nothing, then comes taking care of my needs and the needs of others.I must always keep me in balance and not spend more of me than I have to give. Working with newcommers can be draining so I double up on program and meetings. Love to all Joanie O
Member: Jan B
Location: Sweden
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 5:37:32 AM
After 10 years I am only starting to learn that balance
Member: Deb N
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 6:30:26 AM
Hello all! Deb N. alcoholic/addict. Great topic. Thank you Joanie! I have to know my own limits. Once upon a time... I had to go to school full time, work full time, be a good mother, daughter, friend and sponsor... all at the same time. Well the reality is I can't be good at much of anything if I haven't tended to my own needs. Who can be if your burning yourself out with too much of one and not enough of the other? If I'm not working my own program first and foremost things in my life fall apart at warp speed! I know where that can lead, when I feel "tilted" it's time for some serious priority adjustment. I've spent 3 1/2 years in the program and I have come to believe balace is key. A cut back here and an additional meeting there have saved me more than once!
Member: Jim P.
Location: MyrtleBch,South Carolina
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 9:12:15 AM
Hello All!Jim here an Alcoholic/Addict/BiPolar-balance in life IS the greatest challenge for me-when drinking-only had to satisy my cravings-after coming into recovery 1/1/83 literally burned out trying to satisfy Everyone else-had a mental breakdown--but didn't drink!!!!!Meetings 3-4 times a week-aftercare(rehab) 2 jobs and child caring--phew-wonder I made it--life is still hectic--now am a house husband on Disability with a new wife and new house and a new state(moved-after 12yrs in Fellowship of AA)-still not enough hours in the day--was having a problem attending Face to Face meetings with my "new responsabilities" found Webtv--and [many] cyber AA meetings in Talkcity-sandnet-glass.dal.net--also can E and chat with old sponsor and aa pals from back on L.I.,NY--thank you God--balance is very hard-but am learning-and thank you for sharing {other speakers before me} and thank you for listening-Recovery would NOT be possible for me if YOU weren't there
Member: Robb W.
Location: Mississauga,Ontario,Canada
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 9:41:01 AM
Hi! My name is Robb and I'm an alcoholic. The twelfth step states "and practice these principles in ALL our affairs." My sponsor tells me that after 30 years in the program he still strives to do this. I am tryin gto follow his example. Sometimes it is much easier to practice these principles only when I am at an AA meeting than it is to prictice them outside in the real world. I'm trying do this in everyday life and it seems to be working. Considering the way people treated me when I was drinking this is a very good thing! This is the first time I have contibuted to this meeting but it definately won't be the last!! You know what they say... Keep coming back! I was told once that to become an oldtimer is easy, Dont' drink and don't die.LOL Wishing you all another 24 hours, Robb
Member: Marcia B.
Location: St. Petersburg FL.
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 11:18:46 AM
Hi people, I'm marcia and I'm a grateful recovering Alcoholic/addict. Once again another great topic. I was sitting here thinking after reading your comments, and realized that lately, My balance in life is definatly teetering. Being in this program just 5 short years, balance is one thing my sponcer works the hardest with me. One time in my life I was a mother to two children, full time employee, and trying to be a full time wife. All at the same time. My disease at the time had not reared it's ugly head completely, but looking back, it was inevitable. When it did, I was in the mind-set of giving up everything, including my children, to find, what I thought anyway, balance. This included letting my disease at the time, completely take over. That was what I thought balance was! Today I know my limits, and that I am NOT super mom, or super wife, or super anything. That I am just one person trying to take life as it comes, one day at a time. I feel I was fortunate when I first got sober because my first experience with recovery was in the rooms of alanon. There was where I finally was able to focus on me long enough to realise that my problems in life were because of me, not all the other drunks in my life. At that point, my alanon sponser gently suggested that I go to AA and get sober before taking on all the other people in my life who I thought had drinking problems,therefore making my life a living nightmare.Today, I still want to jump into everything at once and play super women, but This program keeps me remembering that I am only one person,and that I can only do one thing at a time. no matter what. Balence for me today, Is being able to wake up in the morning, do my daily meditations, and realise, gratefully that I don't have to do this living thing all by my self!! A suggestion that was given to me early on was that I needed to make a list, how often it took, of THINGS I needed to do in my daily living. As long as at least one item was scratched off that list, that I accomplished something, and that was all that was mean't to be for that day. Not only did this list thing put some sort af balance in my life, but it prevented me from beating myself up that I wasn't doing enough. I find it a little funny that when I first got sober, how I thought that there were going to be too many voids in my life without drinking and drugging. Today I am so busy, that there is very little time anymore to even think about drinking,little alone actually taking the time to practice it. Amazing how, for me at least, that my thinking process was the way it was and how it has so turned around for me today!!! thanks for letting me share, marcia
Member: Lynda G.
Location: London, England
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 12:15:32 PM
My name is Lynda and I am an alcoholic. Thanks to all of you for being there. Balance is a great topic and something that - like all of the gifts of recovery, can only be practiced on a 24 hour basis. The first and only thing for me to remember on a daily basis is that this busy, fulfilling life I have today is only possible due to my surrendering on a daily basis to a power greater than myself. The quality of my sobriety is totally dependant upon my connection with a power greater than myself. One which I found in the rooms of AA and which I have the chance to reconnect to one day at a time in the rooms of AA. Thanks for listening.
Member: Bernie P.
Location: Ottawa
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 12:15:36 PM
Hi folks: Balance...how can anyone live without it? Sorry, can't answer that one. I've been sober for 6 years and enjoying every minute of it. I can tell you however that the balance I've achieved in my (still imperfect) life has helped me not only stay sober but has contributed in a major way to the re-alignment of my believes,values,my mental attitude has been affected by it, not to, mention the way I behave and the environment I've created for myself in my life. What I'm saying is that, I believe (because of my ability to see clearly since about 11 months after my sobriety) that balance in anyone's life contributes deeply and profoundly to your ability to focus on the things you want for yourself and your loved ones. It's like coming across a recipe that you know will change the way you do things and will make you feel so much better. Would you jump in and just throw everything in, in the hope it comes out "OK". Or would you want to know how to mix the specific and proper ingredients first, so that the end product is something that, not only you'll crave, but will want for the others in your life to make it better. For me it meant looking at the things I wanted for myself and then seeking out recipes to make it happen. Since I've adopted this perception 3 years ago, I' ve achieved more than I have the previous 15 years. Getting sober ( throwing out the old recipe) was the first part. Then I had to define the life I wanted for myself (checking out recipes I saw others around me enjoying.) The next part was to look where I was in life and were I wanted to go (taste test.) I ended up with a bad taste in my mouth for the life I had been living (up to that point.) The was a definite difference in what I wanted and what I had. Then I had to take note of the difference between what I was doing and what I could be doing instead. I listed what had to be done (on 15 pages!) and priorotized it all (this alone took three and one half days.) All of a sudden (actually after the weekend) I had a list of goals for myself which I knew were going to change my life. I'm now holding free public workshops and sharing this formula with others. By the way, it doesn't matter what religion or the background you have, this recipe as worked wirth everyone who has used it. People from all walks of life use this formula to get clear on what they want and what they have to do to get there. Defining the reasons "WHY" you want it is the first part. If you don't, there is a solution to that to. This recipe has given me many new insights that are much more palateable (I think that's how you spell it) than what I had before. Anyway, I realize this is getting long. If anyone wants to hear more, just mention it here and I'd love to share this formula with anyone who wants it. You can't go wrong by asking!!
Member: Sue M.
Location: Delray Beach,Florida
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 1:25:45 PM
Hi everyone. I am Sue and I am an alcoholic. I can certainly relate to the balance issue. One of the greatest things I have heard in this program came from another woman who talked about the "Jane Wayne" syndrom. Even in my active addiction, I thought I had to do everything and managed to do virtually nothing well. Everything was half-successful. Sobriety started out the same way; however, with the help of God and my supports, I have come to realize I don't have to do it all - at least not at once. I also know from personal experience that without my program being first, the rest of my life starts to become unmanagable and chaotic. And I don't know about the rest of you - although sometimes I can't seem to live my life any other way, that is not the way to peace and serenity. I now find peace and serenity by acceptance that I can only do what I can do for today; taking care of myself physically and emotionally (meditation and prayer) and definitely working with others. For today (3 yrs and 5 months into sobriety), it seems to work for me.
Hope to talk to you all soon.
Member: Russ W.
Location: Powell, WY
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 2:41:47 PM
Hi, I am Russ and I am an alcoholic/addict. I do not know a blessed thing about balance except that I would really like to possess it. My life today is a lot better balanced than it used to be during my using days, but it still is not what I would like. I have to keep a conscious contact with my Higher Power (God) in order to have a chance at any balance. At those times is when I feel the most balance. Other than those times I continuously have a "TILT" light flashing. The gentleman above, Bernie P. from Ottawa, I would definitely like to read your recipe you were mentioning, I need all the help I can get. I am grateful to be clean and sober today and to have been guided to this meeting to read others experience, strength and hope. Have a serene, clean and sober week folks. Russ W. from Powell, Wyoming
Member: William P.
Location: Sterling, VA
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 3:22:20 PM
pass
Member: dee
Location:
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 3:26:51 PM
Member: Gary B
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 4:52:21 PM
Hi All. Name is Gary and I'm an alcoholic. This is a great topic, as I am going though mandated couseling for an OWI, started meetings reading the Big Book and other info. What with normal activities it's almost overwhelming and things are askew. 31st Day sober, though. Any advice on achieving balance? God Bless You All
Member: MIKE C.
Location: DALLAS, TEXAS
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 5:46:19 PM
BALANCE IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT IS VERY HARD TO MAINTAIN. I HAVE HEARD SEVERAL DIFFERENT VIEWS ON THIS SUBJECT. FOR ME IT MEANS BEING CENTERED. FOR ME IT IS GOD, MYSELF AND A.A...I LIKE TO KEEP MYSELF SURROUNDED BY THOSE I KNOW I CAN COUNT ON. IT ALSO IS SPOKEN ABOUT IN THE BIG BOK TO ME IN SAYING THAT IF MY HOUSE IS IN ORDER THEN WILL I BE ABLE TO GIVE TO OTHERS. I TAKE THAT TO HEART. BEING A FAMILY MAN, WORKING AND WANTING TO GIVE MY ALL TO GOD AND MY FELLOW MAN, I LEARN THAT I HAVE TO HAVE AN OPEN HEART, BE OBEDIENT TO GOD AND HEAR THE CRY FOR HELP FROM MY FELLOW A.A.'S. WHEN I AM HOME I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT I SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND THAT IT IS QUALITY TIME. I AM NOT PERFECT AT ANY OF THEM. I AM WILLING HOWEVER, TO PRACTICE SPIRITUAL PROGRESS RATHER THAN PERFECTION AND I AM WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTH TO STAY SOBER. THANK GOD FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHARING WITH ME HOW IT IS THAT I CAN PROGESS IN MY SPIRITUALITY. IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE SOBER AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING! GOD BLESS!
Member: MIKE C.
Location: DALLAS, TEXAS
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 5:46:46 PM
BALANCE IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT IS VERY HARD TO MAINTAIN. I HAVE HEARD SEVERAL DIFFERENT VIEWS ON THIS SUBJECT. FOR ME IT MEANS BEING CENTERED. FOR ME IT IS GOD, MYSELF AND A.A...I LIKE TO KEEP MYSELF SURROUNDED BY THOSE I KNOW I CAN COUNT ON. IT ALSO IS SPOKEN ABOUT IN THE BIG BOK TO ME IN SAYING THAT IF MY HOUSE IS IN ORDER THEN WILL I BE ABLE TO GIVE TO OTHERS. I TAKE THAT TO HEART. BEING A FAMILY MAN, WORKING AND WANTING TO GIVE MY ALL TO GOD AND MY FELLOW MAN, I LEARN THAT I HAVE TO HAVE AN OPEN HEART, BE OBEDIENT TO GOD AND HEAR THE CRY FOR HELP FROM MY FELLOW A.A.'S. WHEN I AM HOME I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT I SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND THAT IT IS QUALITY TIME. I AM NOT PERFECT AT ANY OF THEM. I AM WILLING HOWEVER, TO PRACTICE SPIRITUAL PROGRESS RATHER THAN PERFECTION AND I AM WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTH TO STAY SOBER. THANK GOD FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHARING WITH ME HOW IT IS THAT I CAN PROGESS IN MY SPIRITUALITY. IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE SOBER AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING! GOD BLESS!
Member: Paul M.
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 5:48:06 PM
My name is Paul, I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to the newcomer.
My sponsor recently suggested to me that I have too much on my plate, so finding balance is a good topic for me to read about.
Service for me is a great way to organize my week. I participate in service positions for two meetings per week. My schedule (aside from work) is planned around these service committments. It works out okay for today, and it has helped keep me sober.
One of the questions I continually ask myself is, "What can I do today to *let* that miracle happen in my life today?" This usually gets me on track. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Peter H.
Location: New Jersy
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 6:30:29 PM
Hi, my name is Peter and I'm an alcoholic. Balance is a good topic and you all seem right on the money. Keep up the good work!
Member: Tawnya R.
Location: Dallas, Tx.
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 6:37:10 PM
My name is Tawnya and I'm an alcoholic. I guess I'm trying to figure out what balance is. I have just recently come back to the program from 6 months of binge drinking. I went back out because I felt too much pressure from my sponsor and the program, now I'm back in AA because if I continue to drink, it will kill me. I know that there is a higher power (GOD) that is watching over me. I just hope that this time, I truly learn balance between the program and my life otherwise I won't have one. Thank You for listening to me.
Member: Erv W
Location: Adams Wi.
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 7:53:37 PM
Good evening, my name is Erv and I am a alcoholic.. Thank you all for the meeting.. I needed a meeting tonight and it's snowing to beat the band here in Adams Wi.. The closest meeting tonight is 22 miles away, on all back roads.. On the subject of balance, I feel as long as we keep AA first and foremost in our lifes, we then have the opportunity for balance in our lives.. But we can't use balance as an excuse to miss our meetings.. Remember, we can not think our way into proper acting, we must act our way into proper thinking.. Thank you all, and God Bless !! Erv
Member: Perry H
Location: Poconos of PA
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 8:19:33 PM
Bernie P. from Canada: Please e-mail me more of that recepie for the Goals and Balance thing that I need so much to get clear on where the heck I need to go. ( sorry to interupt the meeting) Chebard@ptd.net
Member: Perry H
Location: Poconos of PA
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 8:19:42 PM
Bernie P. from Canada: Please e-mail me more of that recepie for the Goals and Balance thing that I need so much to get clear on where the heck I need to go. ( sorry to interupt the meeting) Chebard@ptd.net
Member: Perry H
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 8:35:48 PM
Howdy from the back woods of Poconos of Pennsylvania!
Balance... what a concept...
I guess it helps to make conscience contact throught the day.
How do I do that?
Start off the day with a Run,
to an AA meeting...
quietly let the morning seep in and fill my heart with gratitude...
Run home and shower...
Talk with my understanding of God in the car all the way to the Lehigh Valley...
Get to work... go out of my way to understand than be understood...
Pray silently while waiting on customers...
Read Emmett Fox on the Can....
Call my Sponser
Listen to NPR all the way home...
Fix dinner or wash the dishes for the family..
Pray on my knees and hop into bed...
Get up at 5:00 a.m and start over again.
Man o Man does this ever beat drinkin!
I love every alkie around the world.
This meeting is awesome, I am sharing my hope with people around the world. Old Bill and Bob must be smiling down on us in this terrifc forum.
By the way... Time to pass the hat. Please see " Pass the hat " portion of this web site.
Thank you everyone... I love you
Member: Bernie P.
Location: Ottawa
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 9:50:27 PM
Hi folks: Here is my reply to a couple of folks who want more information on that recipe I was talking about earlier. The problem is that it would take me forever to write it all out and for you to read. So what I'll do is give you this formula piece by piece so that you can digest each piece one at a time. I don't need to know the details of the experiences you will be having as you apply this "recipe" to your life, however I would appreciate that you share your experience with others on this board. That's all I ask. You will need a pen and paper and some time by yourself (or with someone else who is doing this with you.) Having someone to work with on this would be helpful as you could coach each other as you go along. Don't worry if you're doing this alone, I will give you enough info to go at it by yourself. Take the time - even if it takes an hour or longer for each one - to answer each of the answers to each of the following questions (which I will post one at a time). Remember, you MUST write the answers down on paper. This material has been changing people's starting with my own! Believe me it works!
I should tell you that one of my beliefs is that "the quality of your life is a refelection of the quality of questions you've been asking yourself." I won't expand on that. It'll come to you later. You have to first ask yourself one question (in as many different ways as you can - choose your own words but the question has to be answered) The question is very simple, yet so eluding. Ask this and write the answers: "What is important to me in my life?" Make a list of the things you feel are important to you in YOUR life. You will end up with what is known as a "values list." Values are non-tangible qualities of life, things you can't see or touch but which have meaning to you. These could be qualities of life you are currently enjoying or which WOULD improve your life IF they were present in your life. It doesn't matter which order you write them in. Just let your pen flow. Examples of values are: sobriety, financial security, relationships, friendship, health, family, adventure, control, freedom, religion...get the picture? When you have a list made up of at least 12 values, prioritize them. More on this later.
Bernie P.
Member: Nan D.
Location: Pocono Mt. Pa
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 10:52:59 PM
Hi everyone, Nan Alcoholic and Drug addict here. This is a great topic Miss Joannie. By God, this is something I fight for daily. There are days I do too much, and days I do not do enough. Balance is a tough thing for me. Im a mom, wife, employee, sponsor, and friend. I would love to have time for everyone in my life, but that usually leaves me with no time for me. Thats when I get the crazies. When I do all for others, I usually start getting resentments, then I am no good to anyone, least of all myself. I just wrote down my list that Bernie suggested, I'm waiting for part two. It was just good for me to write down this list, just so I can keep my priorities straight. Thanks Bernie. The first miracle was getting clean and sober, if I ever get a balance in my life that will be yet another miracle. Good night everyone, and I love you all for giving me another clean and sober day. Love Nan
Member: Barry B
Location: New Jersey
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 10:54:36 PM
Member: Dennis M.
Location: L.A. California
Date: 2/1/98
Time: 11:14:36 PM
Hi out there. I'm Dennis M.and I'm an alcoholic.Thank God it's about progress and not perfection. And for me balance is progress and one definition of the word sober is balance. God bless all. from L.A. Ca.,and I'm an Alcoholic.
Member: PAT L
Location: KANSAS CITY MO
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 5:20:13 AM
Hi, My name is Pat L, Im a alcoholic. Bernie, My mouth is watering, not for booze but this recipe! I copied over you letter to notepad and will do as you say. I dont seem to have any balance other than juggling my shedule,work,church,family, helping others. By the way, I lived in Ottawa for a while,loved it. I am one of those that has went back out several times and afraid one day I wont make it back. Today I am sober and wont drink. This balance stuff confuses me, someone told me you can't balance stuff. You just need to turn it over to God and things will work out. WRONG! I really need balance. I liked what the guy said about getting himself centered, or focused. When I can manage to do this all is right with the world and myself. <BERNIE> please send me this recipe. I'm sure it would help me. Thanks for letting me share. DIRTYFERTY@HOTMAIL.COM
Member: Eric E
Location: Louisiana
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 8:06:43 AM
Hi, My name is Eric and I am an alcololic, I like what some one said about balance. To practice these things in all of our affairs. I was reading all the shares and thinking this exact thing. Whenever I live the twelve steps on a daily basis I find balance in my life. When I live outside of those twelve steps I get out of balance real quick. That keeps life real simple for me.Read the book, Work the steps, work with others. The twelve steps is the balance in my life. thanks
Member: Gerry P
Location: Germany
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 10:01:41 AM
Hi, I'm Gerry, and I am an alcoholic. It works when I work it. When I don't it doesn't. It is as simple as that for me. When I go to meetings, stay in contact with other drunks, and try to work the principles; I am in recovery. When I don't, I'm on my way back again. Thank God I have a choice today.
Member: Karen D.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 11:07:10 AM
Hi, I'm Karen and an alcoholic. I just found this webpage... and boy is it great. A lot of great and valuable comments. I am new to AA and get very emotional, even when reading peoples comments. I just received my license back after losing it for a DUI. I have no balance in my life. I was fortunate - I didn't lose my job over the DUI. Although, my husband says he will not take another year of my drinking (although he is a drinker). I am scared to death of this, still it doesn't make me stop!! And believe me, I want to!! Talk about out of balance!! I try to make it up to people in different ways... As Nan D. said, "All for others" bringing about resentments. I am going to do Bernie P's list and see what I come up with. Now that I have transportation, I am going to commit myself to going to the Meetings, and just pray that my higher power (God) can help stop the insanity. Thank you all for sharing and I definately will be back here again. Love you all.
Member: davidc
Location: nc
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 1:36:44 PM
Hi group, I'm David an alcoholic. Oh no, the "B word" Balance. I have seen that topic cliear almost as many meeting rooms as the "G word" Gratitude.
All kidding aside, I have come a long way with this. The final part has been my workahol nature which I learned from my father. I was never satified.Like all other aspects of my addictive life, "too much of a good thing was never enough". Today, I have a regular time to go to the gym in the morning, I turn in a full day, and then relax or go to a meeting in the evening. (Having you folks during the day is an added (+) ) I try to listen to my body, mind and spirit and respond where necessary. I believe what Bob E. says "recovery is knowing what our needs are and getting them met." When I was drinking, I responded to every situation with one action...drink. Now I am awake and have options. Having a God of my understanding also allows me to do what you people say and wear the world like a loose garment. Thanks
Member: Joe R
Location: Ontario
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 9:18:39 PM
Hi.. I'm Joe an alcoholic.. I'm relatively new to all of this.. I have been sober for only 2 weeks.. and everyone keeps saying to keep it simple and take things one day at a time.. but I've got to be honest.. this topic is especially hard for me.. you see, on top of all of trying to stop drinking, I am in the process of moving, trying to find a job.. and still do my 90 meetings in 90 days.. it's been so hard because my emotions are all over the place and I have trouble getting everything done.. all I want to do is sit in the coffee shop and talk to my sponsor, but I know that I am leaving so much for my wife to handle.. and then there comes the guilt thing again.. man.. how do I find balance when I'm so unbalanced at the moment??? Any advice would be aprreciated..
Member: Robb W.
Location: Mississauga,Ontario,Canada
Date: 2/2/98
Time: 10:32:06 PM
Hi everyone, Robb here again. Alcoholic. You know, Joe's comment that he gets the guilts from leaving so much to his wife while he is at the coffee shop or at a meeting really strikes achord with me. When I was sober in 91 & 92 everything was going so well. I got a job, we moved into a little house and we had our first child. Things got so that I felt guilty about not having any balance in my life. I was always going to meetings and talking at the coffee shop after. So I started staying home to help out the new mother. I had all the best intentions. I soon found out that I could do without the meetings more and more. Life was good and suddenly the thought came that maybe I wasn't really that bad after all. I took that first drink and very soon I was right back at it. I continued to drink for the next 5 or so years. My wife now has custody of the kids (I see them on Saturdays only) she drives the new van (I take the bus) she lives in the nice townhouse while I share a small house with four other recovering alcoholics. I now have a little more balance in my life. I go to meetings all the time. I am quite active in my group. I talk to other alcoholics and I try to practice these principles in all my affairs. Things are slowly getting better. The thing that I didn't realize was that without AA I would have nothing at all. So to me, having balance in my life means putting my program as my number one priority and if I do that I find that everything else (God willing) will fall into place. Thanks for allowing me to share. Wishing averyone another 24 hours of sobriety, Robb W.
Member: GREGORY Y.
Location: Anchorage,AK
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 12:29:24 AM
Hi. I'm Gregory and I'm addicted. I really think this is a super idea. What a fantastic way to reach out to an alcoholic who is suffering and feeling trapped in their own stuff. I am constantly working to maintain a sense of balance. I am Area Chairperson of another 12 step group for the State of Alaska, full-time student, part-time job, new father, church husher, sponsor as well as a recovering person. I tend to look towards the solutions and not stay stuck in my problems. I pray daily, read literature, attend 3-4 meetings a week, work weekends, study as required to keep up with courses, do the daddy thing at night, husher on Sundays and take out time for personal and self care regularly. When I think I have to do it alone that's when I am setting myself up to be self-willed. I have to take a step back and remember I am not the one in charge and God is really in control. He has never given me more than I can handle with HIM in my life. I make it a point to let the people I am involved with that I'm in recovery, what's going on with me and establish appropriate boundaries for our relationships. I respect myself and others. I am honest and open to feedback. Also, I am willing to take a risk and do what's suggested of me even if it's not what I want to hear much less do. All I know is that God has brought this far and I won't quit on HIM because He hasn't quit on me. It's having faith and trusting the process. I have developed a personal relationship with HIM and the miracles continue to happen for me. I know "God is doing for me what I couldn't do alone." The rooms, sober support, praying and the "One day at a time" approach have kept me "just for today"....
Member: mark d
Location: Las Vegas
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 11:00:08 AM
mark here alkie 1-4-93
balance......after 5 years it is clear that I am indeed a very well balnced person.....I have a chip on *both* shoulders....To say that this is not so would be IMO a denial of my humanity....
I am a spiritual being having a human experience....balance may well exist, and since it may exist I will strive to attain it....progress not perfection ya know....
well, being my first post to this page I am anxious to see how well "balanced it is.
God loves you all and so do I, or at least I'm on the verge.......mark...
Member: Susie S.
Location: Dallas, TX
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 1:48:55 PM
Hi Family!! What a great topic, Joanie, it's just where I'm at today. After 7 1/2 years of sobriety, a husband, three children (one of which is an infant), I STILL have trouble finding balance in my life. Being the good alcoholic/addict that I am, I totally go to extremes. . .either no meetings or constantly going to meetings, spending time and doing things for everybody else and not making time for me, the list goes on and on. My sponser has told me that, "One extreme of sick to the other extreme is still sick." It took me a long time to really understand that, but I finally realized what she meant. Bottom line, like a lot of you have shared, my God and my program have GOT to come first. Because if I can't be there for me - what good am I to you? I always thought that was selfish until I realized that by taking care of me (spiritually, emotionally, physically), I am better able to be there for you.
I have a saying on my desk and it goes, "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans." That about sums it up for me. If I keep doing what I'm suppose to be doing, it will all fall into place.
Thanks to everyone who shared - I really needed this meeting - God is usually pretty good at giving me what I need.
In God's love, A grateful recovering person!!
Member: susan g.
Location: boise, ID
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 2:04:33 PM
susan g. here...thank god i'm a recovering alcoholic...sure does teach you alot, starting with humility and continuing on with subjects like this...BALANCE! All I know is I had to simplify my life and maintain my focus on staying sober one day at a time. I don't fillup my life and time with extraneous stuff, no more SUPERWOMAN! Love to all, thanks...
Member: Gary S.
Location: San Diego
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 3:21:56 PM
I'm Gary, alcoholic from San Diego. Balance is important. Always remember the H.A.L.T. Theory -- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. If anyone of those characteristics become "out-of-balance" then we, as alcoholics, are putting ourselves at risk for a slip. I try to understand this and maintain a balance. But, more importantly, it is wise to maintain our sobriety with regular meetings--be it f2f or online. I have maintained 17 years of sobriety, all one-day-at-a-time. I work at it and never take my sobriety for granted. The HALT theory keeps me in balance. Good luck to all and keep comin' back!
Member: Paul
Location: Rochester,NY
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 3:48:35 PM
HI my name is Paul and i am an alcoholic/addict.I cabn only hope that that balance will finally click. one week i am totaly focused and the next i start to miss meetings and start some old behaviors.Sometimes the meetings just seem like evereyone is lying or something. i need to get to the 530 meeting now. i found this site while writing a paper.see that old stuff is coming back. i was browsing through the calculator pages for the TI83. little things like that i believe are going to get me.anyway thanks for the opportunity to talk.i read most of the articles before writing this but about half way through i got impatient.thanks for listening. paul pjnsnn@mailexcite.com
Member: Paul
Location: Rochester,NY
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 3:58:38 PM
HI my name is Paul and i am an alcoholic/addict.I cabn only hope that that balance will finally click. one week i am totaly focused and the next i start to miss meetings and start some old behaviors.Sometimes the meetings just seem like evereyone is lying or something. i need to get to the 530 meeting now. i found this site while writing a paper.see that old stuff is coming back. i was browsing through the calculator pages for the TI83. little things like that i believe are going to get me.anyway thanks for the opportunity to talk.i read most of the articles before writing this but about half way through i got impatient.thanks for listening. paul pjnsnn@mailexcite.com
Member: LARRY H
Location: SAN FRANCISCO CA
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 7:04:20 PM
HI, LARRY, ALOCOHOLIC. THERE IS A SAYING THAT GOES "WHAT DOES IT PROFIT A MAN TO GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD IF HE LOSES HIS SOUL"? I KNOW THAT I MUST PUT MY RECOVERY FIRST AND FOREMOST. I AM BLESSED BECAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS WHO WILL NOT LET ME ISOLATE, AS I AM PRONE TO DO. MEETINGS AND SERVICE ARE AN INTERGRAL PART OF MY RECOVERY AND SOCIAL LIFE. BEING SOBER IS FUN. I HAD MY LAST DRINK ON 11/7/91. I RARELY GO A WEEK WITH OUT AT LEST ONE MEETING. THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT FOR ME TO DO TO KEEP SOBER HAPPEN TO BE THE THINGS THAT I ENJOY THE MOST. I HAVE CHAIRED OVER NINETY MEETING AND HAVE HAD NUMEROUS SERVICE COMMITTMENTS. I KEEP COMING BACK BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST GAME IN TOWN. WITH LOVE, LARRY.
Member: Gary B
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 7:07:08 PM
Hi Again, Folks. my name is Gary B. and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you Bernie...will start the value list and await more. And thank you Gary S. for the HALT theory....it's one of those things right in front of you that you really don't think about until someone points out the obvious (DUH...Oh Yeah! Why didn't I....) --Trudging along in Milwaukee
Member: Lois C.
Location: in PA
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 10:04:26 PM
Hello to all! I'm Lois and I'm an alcoholic. Upon reading all the sharing about "balance" in our lives, I feel a bit uncomfortable for some reason. I've been sober a few 24-hours and have never achieved a perfect "balance" in my life. Some days are better than others. Needless to say I'm happy on my "balanced" sober days. But to be honest with you, I'm often happy on my "unbalanced" sober days, too. I'll go even further and say that sometimes I'm not too pleased with myself on "balanced" days. I guess it all depends on your definition of "balance."
I heartily agree with those who endorse staying sober as their first priority of EVERY day. And I've found that there does seem to be a connection between "balance" and my spiritual condition on any given day -- good OR bad. We have a daily reprieve...
My "bad" days are usually wake-up calls for me to improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power -- to stop trying to run the show or control others. This is what disrupts the so-called "balance" in my life.
I think one of the things that disturbs me is the expectancy of perfect, timely, uninterrupted "balance. " I don't think I'm capable of achieving this -- but "there is one who has all power..."
I'm grateful for all my sober days -- good and bad -- balanced or unbalanced. And I know that when this 24-hour period is over, I'll never have to live through it again.
This is how I feel today. I may feel differently tomorrow!
With AA love, Lois
Member: dawn w
Location: st joe michigan
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 10:36:40 PM
hey y'all! dawn and sarah here me dawn recovering sarah 11 months old and thinks she needs to type!!!balance is hard for me at times.. single mom work 3rd shift sleep maybe 4 hours a day... but ya know thank my God for people around at 7:30 to babysit so i can cruise to a meeting. i have to pray daily and let God take care of me and for me trust goes along with balance because if i dont trust God i dont pray and get away from the steps that help me everyday!!so good topic and thanks everyone for sharing!! also balance for me is to feel that inner peace that assures you everything is in God's hand...for Absoultely nothing happen's in God's world by mistake!! see ya!!
Member: KIM J
Location: HORSE CREEK WEST VIRGINIA
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 10:49:16 PM
HI, I'M KIM AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC.THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON WEB PAGE.I WASN'T ABLE TO ATTEND A MEETING TONIGHT BECAUSE I'M SNOWED IN UP A HOLLOW IN THE MOUTAINS OF WEST VIRGINIA.I,M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU GUYS AND GALS.THANK YOU FOR SHARING. KIM J.
Member: Tommy H.
Location: Boston
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 11:05:17 PM
Hello I am sobah in Boston,balance comes a day at a time .In the begginning I did not need balance I needed AA meetings.The longer I could put off trying to find balance the better off I was.Life seeps in,I still Keep AA #1. Take care daily !1
Member: Jerry S
Location: IA
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 11:06:20 PM
great subject BALANCE. God is at the center, start my day talking to him AA is next 2 -3 meeting a week. work and family. without GOD and AA I would have nothing or be nothing. AA hass taught me how to balance things in my life. yourrs in AA Jerry
Member: susan g
Location: boise,id
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 11:56:06 PM
Hey everybody, susan g. alcoholic, checking in again- just read something I wanted to share... "any successful recovery involves daily inventory...in order for a daily inventory to become a habit, we recommend that you establish two daily inventory rituals. The first should occur in the morning. Clear 5-10 mins to read the daily entry in the 24 hr book and to briefly outline your plans for the day.Ask yourself if you are prepared for this day and what you can do that will help you physically and emotionally to meet the challenges of the day and to maintain your sobriety. The second inventory ritual should occur in the evening. Review the tasks of the day, identify what you handled well and what needs improving. What strengths did you use in meeting the challenges of the day? How can you reinforce and build upon your strength? What weaknesses became apparent and how can you correct these shortcomings and improve in those areas?" Maybe balance comes from staying in touch with our feelings and working to improve all aspects of our life...through our sobriety...love ya, s
Member: BRUCE W.
Location: SACRAMENTO
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 12:04:47 AM
HELLO ALL,BRUCE W.IT IS SO STRANGE.I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT BALANCE AT WORK TODAY.I JUST CAN'T SAY NO.MY LIFE IS SO FULL SENSE I GOT SOBER.THREE MEETINGS A WEEK,TRYING TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND,AND MOST OF ALL,WORKING WITH OTHERS.THE SERENITY PRAY HELPS ME DAILY.TODAY,I THINK ABOUT OTHERS SO I GUESS BALANCE WILL COME IN TIME.ONE GOOD THING IS I DO ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Member: Ron L.
Location: Germany
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 8:03:45 AM
I'm Ron - grateful alcoholic. Hi to all friends in the Poconos. Balance is a GREAT topic much needed as I start a new life in another country. I am lucky I can attend meetings in German (2 hours long) and then hit an "American" meeting for a taste of home. The answer is the same in both languages, KEEP IT SIMPLE and FIRST THINGS FIRST, I forgot that this morning and turned left whild looking right. The price was cheap, a few dented fenders and no injuries. The message was clear. Stay centered, breathe deeply and remember what's really important in life. Love to all.
Member: ShelleI
Location: Austin,TX
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 10:25:36 AM
My name is Shelle, and I am an alcoholic. If all that is required to drop is is the desire to stop drinking then I qualify. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I know that everyday that I continue to drink is a day out of my life I can never have back. I don't go to meetings, I am not sure anyone but me knows I have a problem, or at least I am the only one in my world that acknowledges it. The need for balance really hit me hard. I have none. My life is all about work, at my job and at home and about making to-do lists and crossing things off and the frustration of never finishing the list. I do not take care of my physical body or my spirit, or my emotional side. So I guess that is a good indication that I am very out-of-balance! I will do the first thing on Bernie P's recipe and go from there. I am glad I found you guys. I have no one else to talk to about this stuff. Most of the people around me count on me to be the "Rock" with all the solutions and answers, and ironically I don't have an answer to the most critical issue in my life, alcohol addiction. If I make it through this day, this will be day one. I am giving God and my guardian angels permission to talk as loud as they want to as I pray for answers.
Member: Patrick L.
Location: Providence, Rhode Island
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 1:07:55 PM
Hi, my name is Patrick and I'm an alcoholic/addict. I just found this meeting - great idea!
Balance to me means sanity and serenity. I read a lot, and eastern philosophies, especially buddhism, have helped me a lot with understanding this concept.
If this is the 'B' word, it goes with A&C for me, namely Acceptance and Change. I embrace and actually look forward to change now. Like Joanie said, it's a daily thing. If you let your life get out of balance today, and maybe tomorrow, and maybe ... That's when things get dangerous.
I'm really glad to have found this group! Keep coming ...
Member: Dave PR.
Location: Littleton, CO
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 3:08:06 PM
hi i'm dave alcoholic. balance like perfection is impossible to achieve. when we think we are making progress then we need to be humbled. God has a way of balancing our lives. It's really not up to us. Do the right thing. Work the steps. Pray. And let God put balance in our lives. This is my first time to this page. Thanks for letting me share. Balance is about keeping it simple. thanks dave.
Member: Cherie E.
Location: Santa Clara, Ca
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 3:46:59 PM
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Cherie. Over the seconds, minutes,hours, days, and years I have come to sometimes, somewhat know what it FEELS like to have the balance I need to keep me somewhat sane most of the time, "thank God we are not all crazy at the same time". I think that because I listened to the old timers very heartfully when I was begining in A.A. has help me to become who I need to be, and that is "BEING JUST O.K." has been proven very useful over the period of time that I have been sober. A wise man once said if you can WORK, LOVE and PLAY then your life is in balance. Thank you for being there for me on my lunch hour. Lovingly, Cherie
Member: Cherie E.
Location: Santa Clara, Ca
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 3:47:18 PM
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Cherie. Over the seconds, minutes,hours, days, and years I have come to sometimes, somewhat know what it FEELS like to have the balance I need to keep me somewhat sane most of the time, "thank God we are not all crazy at the same time". I think that because I listened to the old timers very heartfully when I was begining in A.A. has help me to become who I need to be, and that is "BEING JUST O.K." has been proven very useful over the period of time that I have been sober. A wise man once said if you can WORK, LOVE and PLAY then your life is in balance. Thank you for being there for me on my lunch hour. Lovingly, Cherie
Member: Cherie E.
Location: Santa Clara, Ca
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 3:50:02 PM
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Cherie. Over the seconds, minutes,hours, days, and years I have come to sometimes, somewhat know what it FEELS like to have the balance I need to keep me somewhat sane most of the time, "thank God we are not all crazy at the same time". I think that because I listened to the old timers very heartfully when I was begining in A.A. has help me to become who I need to be, and that is "BEING JUST O.K." has been proven very useful over the period of time that I have been sober. A wise man once said if you can WORK, LOVE and PLAY then your life is in balance. Thank you for being there for me on my lunch hour. Lovingly, Cherie
Member: Joe H
Location: Buckley, Wa
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 4:00:27 PM
Hi to all. My name is Joey and I`m an alkie/attict. Thakyou all for sharing the strength, hope and experience.12 steps are a design for living, a plan of action. One I have been doing(3& a half yrs) and will carry on today with. I have to give up old ideas and even new ones that just don`t work. Believe me, I can feel it when its not working. The 12-steps offer guidance in all my affairs. This has held true in my sobriety. The fellowship of A.A is where I get focused and find solutions based on the 12-steps. What can I change, what do I need to accept and how in the heck will I know the difference?! Who would listen to me when I`m Hungry,Angry,Lonely, and Tired? Who would want to? Its easy to tell someone I`m ok. Not so when my condition is grave.Thankyou all for being here and helping me with balance. I must tend to my little treasure Sarah, she is waking up from a nap. Oh, and I`m here for her!!!
Member: Gail P
Location: Texas
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 6:04:01 PM
Hi all. My name is Gail and I'm an alcoholic. I am so grateful to have found this meeting online!
The serenity prayer and living one day at a time seem to keep my balance in check.
Member: Al S.
Location: Beckley, WV
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 7:35:44 PM
My name is Al and I am an alcoholic. I found that learning balence takes time and the twelve steps. If I work the steps, I have balence in my life. If i begin to do things my way, I do not have balence. The steps have given me great peace of mind. I love AA. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: George H.
Location: Library, PA. (Pittsburgh)
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 8:07:07 PM
Hi! I am an alcholic and my name is George. Balance for me is living life on lifes terms without drinking. AA and the God of my understanding are the only real givens for me. The rest is a crap shoot. As long as I have been active in AA and with AA's and stayed in contact with My God I have not had to drink. When I try to understand Balance I get stuck thinking with the same idiot that could not stop drinking (ME). I do not want to make light of a very important topic I just want to share my experience. One day at a time, DO NOT DRINK if your head falls off, and trust God and AA. Love You All. Sober today. George
Member: Dennis P.S.P.
Location: Post Oak, Houston, TX
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 8:40:57 PM
My name is Dennis and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I am also a "retread" having drank after 5 & 1/2 years of sobriety. I have 4 years for the second time now. It's just my experience but the last I checked, the Big Book mentions the word "balance" only 4 times cover to cover. Bill mentioned it once in the first 164 pages on page 11 in his story, and then it only shows up 3 more times on pages 290 & 291 of "He Sold Himself Short" and on 298 in "Home Brewmeister." This leads me to believe that the founders of the program knew as little about "balance" as we do. Whenever I think about "balance" I think about the tight-rope walkers in the circus. My life, now that I'm sober, is not a circus anymore. Fun and exciting yes! But not a circus. The last time I took the spotlight and walked that wire I fell and humiliated myself as I always had a thousand times before. I do better with both feet firmly planted on the ground of one THING at a time as well as one day at a time. First Things First applies to me here. There is a time and a place for everything and a good 10th Step at the end of each day helps me sort out my priorities. I ask myself 3 simple questions every night.
1. What did I do to help my sobriety?
2. What did I do to hurt my sobriety?
3. What could I have done differently?
My life is not perfect, but that's cool too. It's a WHOLE LOT better than it was and as long as I stay sober, there is hope that tomorow will be even brighter... if I just stay out of the way.
Member: CARA S.
Location: FLORIDA
Date: 2/4/98
Time: 11:20:55 PM
I am a student and doing a paper for my social problems class on Alcoholism. I need some information and I need to interview 2 different people. You can remain anonymous. If anyone would be willing to help me out could you please e-mail me at cls9712@garnet.acns.fsu.edu THANK YOU- CARA
Member: BRUCE W.
Location: SACRAMENTO
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 2:18:06 AM
HELLO ALL,I'M AN ALCOHOLIC AND MY NAME IS BRUCE W..I DIDN'T DOD THAT YESTERDAY.SORRY!!!!.HAD A GREAT DAY TODAY.NOT EVERYDAY IS SO GOOD.DOING THE 12 STEP.HAVING HAD A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING AS THE RESULT OF THESE STEPS,WE TRIED TO CARRY THIS MESSAGE TO ALCOHOLICS, AND PRACTICE THESE PRINCIPLES IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS....PRACTICE IS THE KEY.ALL, THE STEPS IN MY DAILY LIFE.WITH GOD AND AA IN MY LIFE I GET THE CHANCE TO HAVE SOME VERY GOOD DAYS.THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE.
Member: David B.
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 2:24:26 AM
I'm David, I'm An Alchololic, This has been a good meeting for me. It has reminded me of many old lessons. H.A.L.T. , First Things First, The only thing you need to do to become an Old Timer is don't drink and don't die. I feel like I' ve been to half a dozen meetings.
I've only been able to acheive balance through the living of the steps as I was taught them early in my soberiety.
I have a concern about a portion of this meeting. I don't mean to take anyone to task but this recipe you are sharing about, bernie, it takes me back to my first meeting on 9/8/81. In my limited capacity at that time I'm rather certain the only principals I was told about were the Twelve Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm afraid if I was exposed to anything else at that particular ponit in time I may have run off and become a Hare' Krishna or something like that.
Call me a bleeding deacon, I'm sorry, but the message of AA hasn't change since I got here. The soberiety of the newcomers is at stake. They really do deserve a chance. So much for my manipulative efforts in the name of the newcomers. Tomatoes and apples may be thrown commincing now.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Jan B
Location: Sweden
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 6:31:35 AM
Hi I am Jan and I am an alcoholic, I wrote one line in the beginning of this weeks meeting. I Ilive in the North of Sweden and through my so far 10 years of sobriety AA and the 12 steps have been enough for me. I thank David B. for his comment. In our group we have had almost half of the group( 7-8 members) making up a seperate group lead by an other oldtimer who with the best of intensions have a special recipe (a short cut maybe) to happiness, so they dont go to the meetings any more. It may be a good alternative for all I know but it isnt AA . The new group stands and falls with this local guru so I am a bit concerned because he has attracted speciially younf female newcomers to his group and our group has diminished to 4-5 persons each meeting. The fault might of course be ours, we try to analyze what we did wrong. Jan B Sweden
Member: PAUL H
Location: WILMINGTON NC
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 9:06:20 AM
PAUL HERE A GREATFUL ALCOHOLIC. THIS IS MY SECOND TIME HERE AND I STILL LOVE IT.MY SPONSOR TOLD MY THAT AA DOESENT HOW TO HANDLE DRINKING ,IT TEACHES US HOW TO HANDLE SOBIRITY.
Member: Paul C
Location: Anticoh CA
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 12:42:55 PM
Hi Members,
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Paul. When I read the topic my first thought was "Balance...What's that?" :) Having had the week to think about this topic I think back to the days when my life was "unmanageable" on a daily basis. I had approximately 10,000 of those days, while I've have only a 1000 days of "manageibility" with some genuine days of balance. Mom use to say "Healthy Body, Mind, and Spirit." I'm beginning to understand what she meant. It wasn't until I started working the 12 steps that I have had some balance and sensibility in my day to day life. And life is on a daily basis. The program has taught me and given me "Tools" to live my life in a balanced fashion, and granted some days are better than others. Tools such as, HALT; Life on Life's terms, Making amends when wrong; Starting over; and Saying No. The 12x12 and the Serenity Prayer are to me very powerful tools I use to help maintain my balance. I'm still growing, actually I'm finally growing up. I am learning to become a functional adult. Let me add that ultimately it is GOD who guides me in using these tools properly. Bernie, Please share your "Tools" with me too. I still have lots of growing to do.
Member: Duane B
Location: West Allis Wi
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 2:11:02 PM
Hi, Duane here alcoholic. For me at this time in my recovery balance is AA , work, working out with weights and a short jog around the block. I thank my hp everyday for my NEW way of life that day.(55 days) love this web site,
Member: Paul C
Location: Anticoh CA
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 2:49:17 PM
Hi Members,
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Paul. When I read the topic my first thought was "Balance...What's that?" :) Having had the week to think about this topic I think back to the days when my life was "unmanageable" on a daily basis. I had approximately 10,000 of those days, while I've have only a 1000 days of "manageibility" with some genuine days of balance. Mom use to say "Healthy Body, Mind, and Spirit." I'm beginning to understand what she meant. It wasn't until I started working the 12 steps that I have had some balance and sensibility in my day to day life. And life is on a daily basis. The program has taught me and given me "Tools" to live my life in a balanced fashion, and granted some days are better than others. Tools such as, HALT; Life on Life's terms, Making amends when wrong; Starting over; and Saying No. The 12x12 and the Serenity Prayer are to me very powerful tools I use to help maintain my balance. I'm still growing, actually I'm finally growing up. I am learning to become a functional adult. Let me add that ultimately it is GOD who guides me in using these tools properly. Bernie, Please share your "Tools" with me too. I still have lots of growing to do.
Member: Danielle L.
Location: Hull, Québec
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 4:12:36 PM
Bonjour! My name is Danielle and I'm an "alcoolique". Thank you Jonie O. for your topic. I think balance is very important because if you have it in your life it makes you feel good and strong. As life is full of struggles one must have a good balance, physically and mentally. This, however is not easily obtained. Since we are alcoolics, we tend to overdo sometimes and we must keep a healthy balance with both. The thing I want to do right now to work at this healthy balance, is to quit smoking. Now that will not be easy, but I will work at it very hard.
Cheer from Canada!
Member: Peter B.
Location: St. Paul,MN
Date: 2/5/98
Time: 10:47:14 PM
Hi friends...My name is Peter, an alcoholic.
I would be the last one to speak about balance...it has been so illusive to me. And yet....the moments when I have felt it were when I put my Higher Power, which I choose to call GOD, at the center of my world...not myself and my little problems. Also I have found the Acceptance Pages...pp.449-452 in the Big Book, in the story "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict" very helpful in straightening my thinking.
I send best wishes to Joe R. and the other newcomers....stick with the winners.
And I agree with David R.....I was uncomfortable with anyone's formula or recipe occupying too much space here....if you have things which have proven useful, I am sure many of us would like to hear them,... but, please post them in the Coffee Pot....as in any good meeting we need to remember it's about principles not personalities.
Thank you all for your continued sobriety one day at a time....it really helps me.
Member: Mike D.
Location: Dunwoody, GA.
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 2:09:25 AM
My name is Mike & I'm an alcoholic. Balance? Who promised balance? I hear a lot of me, my & I. When I'm plugged in and working "the" program things have a way of woking out. When I quit driving & let my higher power take over things go fine. Yes I get tired but that never stopped my drinking. Yes, to reach out to a newcomer can be "draining" but I need to always remember where I came from. And for that I am responsible.
Member: Michael David C.
Location: Montreal,Quebec
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 10:18:40 AM
Member: Michael David C.
Location: Montreal,Quebec
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 10:33:43 AM
I beleive that the subjet is balance. it is very important to balance my daily life and my alcoholic temper today after the time of sobriety there are days when i just loose it quit easaly But when this happens and I finnally notice what is up I ask my GOD or HP to put me back in plce I've been in this wheelchair for 2years and thos is do to my alcoholism.It destroyed me completle. and when I started to get sober members help me to read and write again ths for this moment and I HOPE THAT I CAN BE A MEMBEROF THE GROUP MICHEAL DABVID C.
Member: brad t
Location: wenatchee wa
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 4:30:22 PM
HELLO ALL AND THANKYOU FOR THE CHANCE TO JOIN IN THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WITH ONLINE AA AND IM GLAD THAT THE TOPIC IS BALANCE.i also feel that balance is key to recovery!i recently decided to get sober and everything that everyone has said helps me alot with ideas and ways to balance my life -thankyou
Member: Matt M
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 5:24:55 PM
Hello everyone...My name is Matt and I am an Alcoholic
Wow! First time on-line and I get the same peace with that declaration of who and what I am, that I do live at meetings!
I had no balance in my life when I came through the doors of AA 11.5 years ago. I still didn't after 3.5 years of sobriety and didn't know why I why so uncomfortable. One reason is that I did not have balance. As lots of other people have said I needed to balance out the mental, emotional, spritual and physical parts of my life. I needed to balance program, father,at that time-husband, career, work-out, fun etc. etc. I had this great time organizing system that told me where I was to me, but did nothing to let me understand the value of it. All of the balance converstaions I heard in meetings sounded great, but what did I really need to do to get balance??. Well, like the rest of the program and life I needed to take action. My sponser helped me understand what was really important, schedule accordingly and also learn to say no to some things. I learned that for me personally, I needed at least 2-3 meetings per week-so every Monday that is the first thing I schedule for the week, I learned I needed tto run at least 2-3 times per week, so that I schedule every Monday morning for the entire next week. I learned I needed to read at least 1 newsmagazine per week so I scheduled 1 night per week down time( no kids, dates, work etc.) I did this with every area of my life- I master schedule my entire week based on my needs every Monday morning and then I only do those things scheduled when scheduled. Example: when I am with my kids( 50% of the month) I am only with my kids-I dont try and do meetings then, or run or other stuff-so the quality is there, At work-I'm at work, When I'm with a sponseree I am only with that person mentally and physically. This gives me great stress release to know that I have planned out all those things that I need to do in order to have balance. Then I just do it-one day at a time!. Thanks this has been great sharing.
Member: Jay
Location: Norfollk,VA
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 6:36:43 PM
Relax, GOD'S in charge!
Member: joe s.
Location: east stbg. pa.
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 9:45:44 PM
HI ALL JOE GRATEFUL ALCOHOLIC HI TIM G. BALANCE FOR ME TODAY IS HAVING THE PATIENCE TO SIT AND LEARN THIS COMPUTER JUST FOR TODAY THANKS FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS LOVE JOE S. POCONOS PA.LOVE TO ALL DONT DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS!
Member: Nick F.
Location: Irvine, Ca.
Date: 2/6/98
Time: 10:24:43 PM
Hi Yall. Can any of you see me? I have never been in or should i say on an internet meeting before. i am a greatful sober alcoholic. I have been sober for a few years now. So if you all can see me, let me know.
Member: Heather H
Location: Vancouver BC
Date: 2/7/98
Time: 3:02:11 AM
Heather H / Vancouver BC Balance- what a topic. At times I feel that I am totally balance. It is usually when I am spiritually fit. I must continueous strive to keep in emtoional balance thru all useful tools of AA.
My journey has taken me on many new pathways. Sometimes my life agrees with my new journey but sometimes I must regroup. I am usually out of balance until I accept the newness in my life. What it really comes down to is a complete trust in God. When I fight being in the NOW-trying to force my will into my life, things become more challenging. Life is easy if i stay close to AA and God. I can feel balance each day by believeing in God, doing the best I can and truly being other- centred. Just to wake up and do what is put in front of me to do, without trying to change the situation to fit my needs.
None never told me that life was easy but I though someone did before I came to AA. I have been sober for almost 9 years and some days are real tough. When I accept that life is challenging and that things will be okay, its then that I feel balance, content and at peace with myself and the world at large.
God Bless You all! We are all so lucky to be alive and SOBER...
Heather H
Member: frank r.
Location: charleston,s.c.
Date: 2/7/98
Time: 10:28:21 AM
hello brothers and sisters,my name is frank and i am an alcoholic.the program has taught me in my recovery to do the "suggestions" and turn it over to my BIG DADDY (HIGHER POWER). this has helped me to retain the balance i need to stay sober.in the past i would always think i could control all circumstances and events.this as we all know will give us the old banana peel!!!!the major thing along with the program that keeps me in balance is the fellowship.i now have TRUE friendships.with that,brothers and sisters,may BIG DADDY watch over each of you. best regards, frank r.
Member: Dave C.
Location: Falls Church, Va.
Date: 2/7/98
Time: 4:10:44 PM
Hi y'all, I'm Dave and I'm an alcoholic. My sponcer tells me that I should be an expert on balance; after all, I see it every time I swing by it on the emotional pendulem. About 9+ years ago I was sitting in a meetingshaking like a leaf and hurting like a tooth ache when a geezer (anyone with more time than me) (I love geezers)sat back and said "I have a disease that tells me I don't have a disease and that disease is alcoholism." See, my disase lies to me all the time and tries to tell me "It's O.K. Dave, it won't hurt so bad THIS time." Maybe it's over-simplifying things, but I find that all those inapropriate thoughts I get origionate in the little box with the disease label, including the ideas that I can do more than time allows. The answere is God! Ask for knowledge of God's will and the power to carry that out. Ask the other members for help with priorities. Gee, these are easy leasons, sure wish I'de listen more often to what I've been taught. God bless you everyone.
Member: lindsey H.
Location: iowa
Date: 2/7/98
Time: 5:08:09 PM
Hello my name is Lindsey and im not an alcohoic. i think its really cool what you guys are doing though. It must be really hard after all them years of drinking to quit. I give you my moral support for all that you've done and are still trying to do.
Member: Joseph
Location: Maine
Date: 2/7/98
Time: 8:57:17 PM
Hi I'm Joseph and an alcoholic, Thanks for all the great comments reading them has given me a degree of balance and for this I am grateful ,
Member: Erik R.
Location: SLO, CA
Date: 2/8/98
Time: 1:28:10 AM
Erik, alcoholic and an alcoholic. Balance between Singleness of Purpose and reflecting current membership is subject of proposed changes to our book, "Living Sober." The changes lean toward Singleness of Purpose, which has me nearly giddy with delight! I have seen an entire DISTRICT virtually disintergrate for lack of UNITY under our First Step: "we admitted we were powerless over ALCOHOL...." not (other) drugs, not people, places, etc., not our feelings, not twinkies and ding-dongs, ad nauseum.... I'm still struggling for balance, as you can see! Oh well, didn't drink over it yet, TYG!!! A Hui Hou Kakou Aloha Oe.
Member: Rebecca T
Location: South Bend, Indiana
Date: 2/8/98
Time: 9:42:49 AM
Hello everyone! thanks for the good topic, this is something I struggle with keeping the balance daily and finding out I'm human and can only do so much with my 24hrs. this keeps me focused on keeping it simple and back to what is the most important thing I have to really accomplish this day and that is the only real important factor to me is to stay sober this day! The rest of my 24hrs will fall in place if I am doing the next right thing also the hungry, angry not to over tax myself mentally, and physically tiring myself. not to get too lonely pick up the phone and call someone in recovery or visit someone too. All this plus outmost contact with a loving and understanding higher power. Thanks for letting me share.
RTom S.B. Indiana