Member: Kjoe
Location: Rochester NY
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 09:48 AM

Comments

Hi All, Nice going ((Rick))>>>>>keep riding that camel!!!!~~~~~~~~~~ ((Wendell)) Don't give up!! It took me a long time to finally>>Stop. A lot of us have gone back out to test the waters. It doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Drinking and Druging wasn't a lot of fun for me either for the last years of my active use. No one can tell you~~~~ We have to find out for ourself's~~~~~~~~ I found out that alcohol and drugs are Poison for me>> that I can not continue to use them safely.................. In the end I found out I was an Alcoholic/Addict and that was Ok as long as I didn't use.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You said that AA there will not talk to you>>>> Keep trying>> Someone does want to help you>>> Ask for help!! >> Someone will go out of their way to help you achieve sobriety>>> I would if you walked into my meetings and wanted help!~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The word is; Preseverance>>>sticking to a purpose or an aim; never giving up what one has set out to do.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today's Topic is ;>>>"Easy Does It" >>>>>> Yup, these changes will take some time to achieve But, the other have of this slogan is;>>>>>>>>>"But, Do It " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don't give up!............ good luck.... kjoe


Member: Mikef
Location: Millville,NJ
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 11:21 AM

Comments

Howdy, New at this type of meeting. I go to regular meeting mostly. I am up here for work. I thought I would try this out because can't make it a habit to isolate to much. Not a good thing. It feels good to know that they have sight like this. Been doin alright but, felt the sign to reach out and keep in touch if you know what I mean. Anyway just thought I would drop in. Mikef


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 11:43 AM

Comments

To Bobbi H. : my letter with the quote you were looking for is the last letter of last week's meeting. Guess it got in just under the wire! Didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about it!


Member: Bobbie H.
Location: Hawthorne, CA
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 11:51 AM

Comments

Hi Everyone, I am Bobbie an Alcoholic, First of all I want to thank Kathy P for the page 542 quote. It really is a great message for me. Congratulations on your sobriety!! Easy Does It is a great topic..I need to just focus on today...not trying to fix all of the things that are wrong in my life and other people. In order for me to stay sober, I have to keep it really simple. Otherwise my mind gets distorted with conflict - the 'committee' in my head is not a healthy group. Thanks for being here! Love Bobbie


Member: ShelaghB
Location: England
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 12:04 PM

Comments

hi all first time on this site. Not been doing too bad; three months sober never thought I would get that far. The days of deep depression seem so far behind me now but I know they are only one drink away.I am trying to live the programme, some days are easier than others but mostly I feel like I can fly without the aid of any poisons in my body, the sheer delight in A.A. helps to keep my mind focussed on staying sober. A.A. and my higher power are like one without either I will sink and I so want to stay afloat.I thank everyone in A.A. for being strong enough to enable me to become strong also, so thank you onliners and F to F A.A.


Member: chad e
Location: nashville
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 07:02 PM

Comments

i just picked up my one year chip. i have had a rough early recovery but things are getting better. im going through the steps for a second time with my sponsor and experiencing them in a different way with one year. my sponsor believes that you experience the principals that you practice and that has helped me alot. im going through a very painful diviorce. i know my actions in my addiction led up to the diviorce but it is hard to accept. we have a two year old child that i get on the weekends. my diviorce is not final yet and my wife started dating someone else before she even filed for divorce. she says she loves this new guy and that hurts very much. my sponsor says it is best if i wait to start dating again until after my diviorce is final and until i really let her go. she said getting into this new relationship helped her in her healing process. does anyone have any experience, strength, and hope for me


Member: chad e
Location: nashville
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 07:03 PM

Comments

i just picked up my one year chip. i have had a rough early recovery but things are getting better. im going through the steps for a second time with my sponsor and experiencing them in a different way with one year. my sponsor believes that you experience the principals that you practice and that has helped me alot. im going through a very painful diviorce. i know my actions in my addiction led up to the diviorce but it is hard to accept. we have a two year old child that i get on the weekends. my diviorce is not final yet and my wife started dating someone else before she even filed for divorce. she says she loves this new guy and that hurts very much. my sponsor says it is best if i wait to start dating again until after my diviorce is final and until i really let her go. she said getting into this new relationship helped her in her healing process. does anyone have any experience, strength, and hope for me


Member: brian b
Location: New York
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 07:34 PM

Comments

Hello my name is Brian I am an alcoholic and a recovering addict. Six months clean. I had a very stressful today and I needed to come to my meeting to relieve my stress living one day at a time and thanking god for what I have. This is my first time online. I hope that with this help I can maintain sobriety.


Member: gct
Location: pa
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 07:49 PM

Comments

hang in there brian.you're on the verge of the greatest discovery of your life.living life on lifes terms.


Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: November 24, 2002
Time: 09:54 PM

Comments

Hello, I'm Karen, and I'm an alcoholic. I just wanted to check in before turning in for the night. I am going on 9 mos. sober and have a good sponsor. For me it's still about drinking and I am grateful for every day of sobriety. However last night sitting in front of a fire with my partner with something other than wine in my wine glass was a little hard. But I also realized I didn't have to sit there and try to manipulate for more wine like I used to. I check in here because I am away from my homegroup during the week because of work. Also because I am very shy about sharing in f2f meetings, so my sponsor encouraged me to share Konline. It helps. I appreciate all of you being here. Wish me luck with step 4. I'm just getting started.


Member: Jason R
Location: seattle, washington
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 01:08 AM

Comments

I am moving to San Francisco at the end of the year from Seattle. I feel a little trepidatious about it, but not enough to drink/drug over. I know that my HP is exerting His will and that if I listen, I will be just fine. Living in the present moment is what I need to do; if I don't I will quickly worry about things I have absolutely no control over. I am taking it one "easy" day at a time. "You might be on the right track, but if you are not moving you'll get run over"-Will Rogers


Member: Ryan F
Location: new mex
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 02:12 AM

Comments

Hi everyone I'm Ryan an alcoholic. I went to a bar tonight with some friends from work,I knew I was not going to drink,and I didn't. But i felt awkward the whole time. Everybody kept looking at me to see if I was drinking,because I have made a fool of myself in front of them before.So I left and came home right away next time I think I will just skip it altogether. chad e I know what you are going through my wife is doing the same kind of thing,I think she is tired of my drinking also. thanks Ryan


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 05:59 AM

Comments

Ryan and Chad, I can really relate to your posts particularly. While still using, it does NOT get better, just replay the same old story. I was married four times. I drank through them all, and the other things I did to go with the drinking ended all the marriages. I didn't lose the houses, cars, jobs, but did lose everything really worhtwhile in life, all those close to me. Years later, I can truthfully say that ex wives don't cringe when we speak, and my kids are an active part of my life today. Is this enough? Well, I would like it to be more, but the situation as it is, IS a great improvement over what it had become when I still searched out that drunk constantly. FYI... The coffee pot has some "bear the end" experiences from some of us who are now sober. Good reading today. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: micheleC
Location: france
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 09:24 AM

Comments

Hi everyone: micheleC here; i just moved to the south of france two days ago. i was going to five meetings a week in S. Cal prior to moving here. i am grateful to have this way to have a meeting. i am getting my one year chip this friday; my home group in S. Cal is sending it to me. there are meetings around here in english but have not been to one yet; i really need a meeting. i don't want to take up too much space here. next time i'll share strength and hope; if anyone is in south of france let me know thx micheleC .


Member: Tara
Location: Austin
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 10:37 AM

Comments

"Easy Does It" - I recently picked up the book, Living Sober. It talks a bit about what that means. I've been sober now for 9 days and have found myself at a meeting for the past 5. I realize that it's all about taking one hour at a time for me. I may feel fine at 3:00 and then antsy as hell at 6:00. I'm having a hard time saying, "I'm Tara and I'm an alcoholic." There is a woman I've been talking to on a daily basis who I hope will be my sponsor. I'm afraid to ask. I don't know why. I know that she's already sponsoring someone and I guess I don't know if I'll be too much for her. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Tom R
Location: pa
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 11:09 AM

Comments

hi to everyone ,Ryan i have gone through same thing with going to bar with friends and felt very awkward-for me i feel out of place if go to restaurant and there's a bar there.And my friends will ask are you ok being here.Most time i will leave early and go too meet. Easy does it,youre telling me in one week i had a tree branch fall on my car ,had tooth pulled and came down with flu,and month isnt over with if next month is anything like this month and on top of everything iam washington Redskin fan thank you


Member: Tom R
Location: pa
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 11:09 AM

Comments

hi to everyone ,Ryan i have gone through same thing with going to bar with friends and felt very awkward-for me i feel out of place if go to restaurant and there's a bar there.And my friends will ask are you ok being here.Most time i will leave early and go too meet. Easy does it,youre telling me in one week i had a tree branch fall on my car ,had tooth pulled and came down with flu,and month isnt over with if next month is anything like this month and on top of everything iam washington Redskin fan thank you


Member: Tom R
Location: pa
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 11:10 AM

Comments

hi to everyone ,Ryan i have gone through same thing with going to bar with friends and felt very awkward-for me i feel out of place if go to restaurant and there's a bar there.And my friends will ask are you ok being here.Most time i will leave early and go too meet. Easy does it,youre telling me in one week i had a tree branch fall on my car ,had tooth pulled and came down with flu,and month isnt over with if next month is anything like this month and on top of everything iam washington Redskin fan thank you


Member: ed z
Location: Ohio
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 06:59 PM

Comments

Hello, Ed Z. alcoholic. Easy does it enhances sobriety. So can rough and tumble existence, as long as the first priority of my life is being and staying sober. I am sober fourteen plus years, very few issues in my life I want as much as continuous sobriety. Easy does it can make the steps simpler and a sober lifestyle easier to access. One day at a time, staying out of wet places and continuously seeking individuals who want recovery are a start. Excellent way not to be hard on myself and practice easy does it.


Member: Mike S
Location: Wisconsin
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 08:15 PM

Comments

Hi, I have recently stopped drinking. I would drink every two to three weeks, sometimes controlled, sometimes not,sometimes completely out of hand. My marraige is now in jeopardy of ending. We are seperating for a month. Understandably, she has a lot of resentment/anger towards me and my unnaceptable behavior. The therapist that we are seeing said that I should get involved with AA...I am currently starting the "Big Book" and have others. My wife is getting involved with a co-dependent group.I do not see a problem quitting drinking, but I do not want to become a dry drunk. I have noticed that there are many avenues on the web for recovery support. I am looking for any insight one may be able to provide on different paths that are available. Thanks for your help.


Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 08:20 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Karen, an alcoholic. Just checking in. Don't have much to say tonight. I'm just glad you are here when I need you and want to say I appreciate this site and all of you who contribute to it. Easy does it sounds too much like a catch phrase for me to relate to very well. However thanks for the advice Ed.Z, and if you have any for me on "easy does it", I'm open to it.


Member: Jason V.
Location: NJ
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 08:33 PM

Comments

Hey All, Jay, alcholic here. Easy does it, well I have just about 7 months in the program and easy does it has helped me alot. I mean when all gets tough, I remember this slogan, pick up the phone, and call my sponsor, thats it. Thanks


Member:
Location:
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 09:13 PM

Comments

On the Coffee Pot page people in Recovery are sharing some of "What it was like" if you need to hear more horror stories and add to your experiences of where you don't want to go back to.


Member: Michael W
Location:
Date: November 25, 2002
Time: 10:32 PM

Comments

This is my first visit to a meeting online, I love the fact that I can offer something to the newcomer from my home to yours... Someone once told me that if I put 1/10 of the effort to stay sober, that I put into getting drunk, then I could stay sober... It wasn't until I was in a prison with a ten year sentence when I remembered this vital information. Perhaps you can it now


Member: Dean W
Location: Ohio
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 12:28 AM

Comments

To understand why I am here would be wonderful. In this room, on this night.. To depend on what I depend.. All I can say or ask " Is why" "why me" The last thing in my life I wanted to be was a drunk.. I never wanted to be like this. To go back to the days of my teenage life would be a dream.. back to the days when just being me was good enough.. Long before alcohol


Member: randy d
Location: north
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 01:26 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Randy/alcoholic, Chad, i to drank my way through a marraige,then out of some freedom, before finding my way through the doors, my sponsor always told me that i was being given an opportunity to get to know myself and my Higher Power through the 12 steps, this was my opportunity to use or to waste as i had so many others things in my life. that is a few 24s ago and was the best choice that i have and still make. remember that no one can change the past but anyone can start today and make a brand new future. and please remember my friend Don't quit five minutes before the miracle.


Member: Bill L
Location: North Coastal Oregon
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 02:43 AM

Comments

Bill here, a grateful recovering alcoholic. I've spent quite a few days now without drinking, which is a far cry from the quart a day addiction I had developed. "Easy Does It" is a catchy phrase, and honestly is one I resented when I first started out in this program of recovery. It certainly does capture in 3 words a way to stay sane when the Fates are gunning for you. I use it to avoid being overwhelmed by all the facets of my life. I get really focused on miniscule aspects of my job (another perk of the AA program) and lose sight of the big picture. I eventually notice this and "Easy Does It" lets me relax on those stupid details and return my attention to everything else. I've used it to stop trying to cram 28 hours into a 24 hour day. I've used it to relax and read a book, or take a relaxing drive, or spend time with my loved one. Nothing is more important than my sobriety, and as long as I keep that always in my mind I can relax and enjoy the rest that life has to offer. I have the utmost respect and admiration for all the new folks poking their heads in the door for the first (or second) time. This is a scary program, I had to learn that I can be happy and lovable without alcohol. Later on, after a 1.5 gallon in 4 day relapse, I finally realized that alcohol was the trigger for all of my defects in character. With it gone, I was finally able to get rid of the crap and keep the rest. Like I said, I've gotten a steady job, house, and loving girlfriend in sobriety. I've the love and respect of family and friends, and have become a helpful and dependable person. That is the person I have always been, but it was covered in crap and unrecognizable until I became a recovering alcoholic. Thank you AA and thank you newcomers, and welcome to the world of AA.


Member: Rick R.
Location: Middle East
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 04:18 AM

Comments

Hi, Everybody Rick, the camel jockey, in the Middle East. (BTW, an alcoholic) Easy does it. Last night was great and terrible at the same time. I was gratefully and gloriously sober and stubbornly determined to remain so, at least for now. I brought some cinnamon jelly beans (hot tamales) back with me from Texas. They are going like hotcakes. They hit such a sweet spot yesterday that I took what remained of the bag home and pigged out last night. They were yummy. I probably took in an extra 400 calories. I was ashamed--but not very much. I also treated myself to a diet coke and then a real coke. I pulled out all stops. What's my point? If I try to fix everything at once, it's going to pile up and contribute to my ulitmate failure. In other words, I ain't gonna fix the whole bundle all at once. It will take a little time. Let me worry about staying sober (By the way, *-TODAY IS DAY 12-* of glorious sobriety). That's enough for now. I can't believe how much better I feel. Literally, I can't believe it. I took my blood sugar this morning before breakfast after X hours of fasting. 98. Durn good. My blood pressure was terrific, also. **Here we are overseas, other side of the globe. One of our teachers died this morning. Evidently, a heavy drinker who had liver problems. Must have died of liver failure. We are all shocked and in shock. My father and I buried my sister last spring. I know how profoundly it affected my father. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.** I still haven't been to a F2F meeting yet. I plan to go, get into the system and get a sponsor, but they are at bad times for me. We'll work it out. So, to my new family, Happy Thanksgiving. Rick


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 08:25 AM

Comments

Hi everybody. Bill P. here, alcoholic. Mike S. -Welcome! I'm glad you found us. This site is a great place to hear things that will sound famaliar and give you hope. It has for me. Karen P. - Thanks for checking in. I've been reading your posts and you sound good. Keep on coming back! It works for all of us because of the "WE". Jason V. - Great job on 7 months! I'm just over six months and it's good to see other people on the same pathway. Early sobriety is a trip, isn't it? Things just steadily keep getting better. I used to hate hearing that right at the beginning because I didn't really believe it, but now I know it's true. Randy D. - You've been through a lot, but I can see that you are determined to have a better life. I love the miracles this program gifts us with. Thanks for being here and sharing. Rick S. - Man, nobody can not take a drink for 12 days, but you did it! I can relate to the sense of well being that you have. I had the same thing in a dramatic way for the first 30 days. I still feel really good. When we purge that poison from our bodies, we start to feel what it's like to really live. It's a rush and I never want to lose all that we have gained through God and this program that he blessed us with. Congratulations, and keep coming back. Hope everybody has a great day. Let's all enjoy this day, it's the only one that counts! Peace.


Member: Rusty
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 09:19 AM

Comments

Well folks, I emailed last week and I am not doing very well as of yet... I hope and pray that I can somehow beat this damn drinking habit. I have seen what it has done to many of my other family members and friends and I do not want to get into that fold. I have too many things to loose and things I want to do. I always thought that money would make my life easy and wonderful.. NOT.... I now have the money and am in good health. But this booze thing has to stop.. How do you folks do it. I quit the cigaretts many years ago cold turkey w/o much problem but this is more difficult. I can be reached at NAMGUY@AOL.COM Thanks to all and have a wonderful holiday.. Rusty


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 10:02 AM

Comments

Hi Rusty. That's a good question: "how do we do it?" Every person will have a different answer for you because different things work for different people. To be honest, some days I don't know how I did it. The urge to drink was so strong I would literally pace the floor waiting for it to go away. Sometimes it would be 3 hours before the urge would subside, but it eventually did, and then I would be very glad that I hadn't given into it. Distraction helped in some cases such as reading a good book, watching a good movie, or just getting out of the house. It also helped me to always have a non-alcoholic drink in my hand just to have something to hold onto and keep putting into my body. We are used to having a glass, can or bottle to raise to our lips on a regular basis after all and keeping up that habit in a benign fashion eased the "muscle memory" of needing a drink in my hand. It is also great to have the support of family, friends, AA or where ever you can get it from. The bottom line for me however is to realize that in the end it all comes down to me. "I" have to quit drinking; no one can do it for me no matter how supportive they may be. No one can be born for us, no one can die for us (no one can go to the bathroom for us) and no can quit drinking for us. Some things we just have to do ourselves. By all means get help and support, but never forget that only you can, in the end, be responsible for your own actions. Hang in there and keep trying.


Member: Rusty
Location: Mass.
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 10:11 AM

Comments

Thank you Kathy P. for your kinds words and support. You make sense with every word you wrote. My times are from 4pm to around 8pm. I have to keep busy then... I will do it. this is my first step.. thanks again Rusty


Member: Donna
Location: Fl
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 07:25 PM

Comments

Donna alcoholic & believe it or not, I am happy to be one today. This program has taught me how to live. I don't know if I would have ever learned that without coming to AA. Easy does it for me means slow down & ask God to help. It really amazed me when I slowed down I got more done. Before I came into the rooms I was rushing around trying to do everything & not have it interfer with my drinking. What a mess my life was. When I got here I was still doing things the same way only without the booze. So I would start one thing & see another & jump to it never getting caught up, always rushing. So when I learned to do one thing at a time. Doing what was in front of me & then going to the next thing. My life got better. Then as I learned how to ask God or others for help, when I needed it. It got even better. What I have found out is I don't have to do it all myself. That was another lesson for me to learn. So just hang on as its a great journey if your willing to follow the path & put these stupid little saying working in your life.


Member: fred w
Location: michigan
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 09:53 PM

Comments


Member: fred w
Location: michigan
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 10:07 PM

Comments

Hi my name is fred i'm alcoholic,I would like to say one day at a time and ask my higher power to keep me sober just for today,morning prayer+meditation and reading my 24HR book has and I think will always work for me,because we cant forget we are only one drink away from death. A.A. is the way and it works for me.


Member: LorraineW
Location: London, England
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 10:18 PM

Comments

Greetings good people... LorraineW (Alcoholic) here. I have made seven days sober and must admit I can't remember feeling so physically well in a long time. Mind you I haven't come across any crises yet so that may change. I do tend to think though that alcohol created most of the crises in my life. Good to hear that everyone is really trying to persevere with this thing and reading all your postings make it seem not such a battle. I'm still waiting to find my higher power but having been so diluted with alcohol for so long He probably couldn't get through. All I know is that staying sober must be the right thing... I find simple everyday tasks not such a chore and look forward to getting up in the morning.... mind you this is only the first week so Cold Turkey is just around the corner I'm sure. As long as I keep in touch with AA I should be fine though. Keep sober everybody and "Easy does it". Kind regards and all my support Lorraine :0)


Member: Avery L.
Location: Florida
Date: November 26, 2002
Time: 10:35 PM

Comments

Hi everyone....15 days sober today, this time around, and i went to my first meeting tonight. First one this time around that is! I have been trying to get to one but finding every excuse in the book. It felt sooooo good to be around other recovering alcoholics. I needed to read all the comments on Easy Does It. For me it means to slow down my mind, pray, try not to worry about "stuff" going on in my life that, at this very moment, I can do nothing about. Nothing other than to not take that first drink. It kind of reminds me of what others used to say to me.....or ask me rather..."WHERE ARE YOUR FEET?"....which to me means to get my dang head out of other places and just concentrate on what I am doing at that very moment.....like driving my car, for example. Which....I haven't been able to do for the past 11 1/2 months due to a DUI. That was a night in jail as was 2 other "incidents". I never want to go back there nor do I want to die. For me, today, I just have to stay away from that first drink, cause that's the one that will lead to a second, third, ad nauseum.....God Bless all of you and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!! avery


Member: Robin Z
Location: NY
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 09:44 AM

Comments

Hi, Robin Z here. I am 16 days sober. I have been doing ok and pretty proud of myself. The only thing is these past 16 days have been reaaly good but so very LONG.......... The weeks kind of crawl so far but that should be a good thing if you are not craving or thinking about drinking all of the time. But instead of thinking about where the party is going to be every weekend(and now vacation)-tonight I am going to a movie with a freind and I am looking forward to it. I still havent been going to any meetings but maybe someday soon. Thanks for reading.


Member: Peter W
Location: Dallas
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 12:18 PM

Comments

Peter here, alcoholic. Congrats to eveyone who hasn't had a drink today. 'Easy does it' is a great topic. Here is a section from chapter 6 in the Big Book: "In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. WE RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it." Easy Does It is not something the we just do, it is something that takes time to develop. It's a reminder that in step 1 we acknowledged that we are powerless over alcohol, and a great many other things, too. When life throws me for a loop, I sometimes need to take a deep breath and turn it over to God. Once I started going to meetings, working with a sponsor, and getting connected to a home group, I realized that I didn't have to deal with problems by myself. Today I can rely on other sober alocoholics and that is taking it easy. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 12:54 PM

Comments

When I was still drinking and using, my life was a chaotic nightmare of problems upon problems. There was no way out and all alone I was running out of energy. Then I came to AA. I would call my sponsor to tell him my newest crisis and the associated drama. He usually stayed silent and then would point out where I may have been wrong. I was often not happy with his not “taking my side”. LOL All I know is when I hung up, that big problem often evaporated or became more manageable as he helped me strip away all the enhancements I added to make my problem seem bigger and more important. Today I often sit on the other end of that phone, listening to another alcoholic describe how impossible his situation is. Like my sponsor I find I often have little response. How should I respond to the ramblings of an insane mind? When I find myself starting to believe the crap, I try and remember “Easy Does It” and also remember God is more powerful than the limitation of my mind. I usually suggest he try doing what is in front of him at the moment and if he can’t think of anything then do something for another AA. It always works.


Member: RZ
Location: NY
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 01:43 PM

Comments

friend not freind and really not reaaly. I had to correct my typos I know what your thinking This is probably a big clue to why I drink


Member: Wendell
Location: TX
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 02:46 PM

Comments

Hi everybody I haven't drunk since past weekend but now my brothers coming to town for thankgivoing and I know Im gone to drink when he does. Me and him all ways got drunk together. Have not made it to a AA meeting. I am waiting untill some of the mess up froim my last drunk is forgot.I made a big mess out of it. If my brother wont temp me I might make it thru the holiday.Thank for listening.


Member:
Location: PA
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 03:36 PM

Comments

What would happen if you didn't drink with your brother this time? That night / Awkwardness with brother, nervous feelings/ Next morning, well rested, clear headed-no regrets-no mess up to forget. Think about it. Good Luck and God Bless.


Member: Stephen V.
Location: Wahington DC
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 04:01 PM

Comments

It took a while for me to come to the conclusion that I was an alcoholic and drug addict. I guess it was denial or maybe it was the thought I had it under control... I know same as denial. I guess it was because when I made this admission to everyone about all the lies, conceilment about my problems, and sneaking they would no longer trust, love or care about me. I was a closet case. Drinking and smoking dope by myself. Half the time, I didn't have a reason. It was just becasue it was there and so was I. When we would go out with friends, I would go and get extra plastered. My excuse was that I worked hard, and I deserved to let go 'every once and a while.' I would do drugs the same way... Meenwhile while alone I was consumeing less, but enought to be affected but not cought. After all... I was the life of the party. Now that I've made this admission, I've lost the trust and respect of my family, friends and fiancee. If admitting my problem was the first step... I guess the next step is to get it all back. I am one of the lucky ones. I didn't lose my job or money or anything on the surface... so maybe I'm not one of the luck ones... maybe all I lost was my soul...


Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 05:15 PM

Comments

ROBIN - NY - Great to hear you have 16 days sober - Your "long days" will quickly disappear when you become involved in F2F meetings. Best advice I was given early on was to do a meeting daily...just keep showing up. In correcting your typos you wrote "...clue to why I drink." You DON'T drink anymore - you're a recovering alcoholic. You're off to a good start, and I wish you all the success in the world.


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 05:46 PM

Comments

Hi Wendell, You are right about the holidays being a challenge to those of us who are newly sober and still struggling with temptation. A lot of us will be around friends and/or family who may be having a few drinks. Try to remember why you are quitting and don't let yourself be pressured by others. Hopefully your brother will care about you enough and respect your decision enough to give you his support. If not, then realize that he is not a healthy person for you to be around right now. Don't be afraid to give yourself the respect you deserve and stick to your guns regardless of what others think or say. It's ALWAYS your decision. Just remember, you won't regret it in the morning! Have a happy and safe holiday.


Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: November 27, 2002
Time: 05:49 PM

Comments

HI,im Marv,alcoholic--Happy THanksgiving,folks!! Holidays serve a useful purpose and when we talk about sharing our experience,maybe it took the pain of ruined holidays due to our drinking to convince us we cannot handle alcohol."Being convinced" are the next two words in the big book following whats read in AA meetings,and each of us has to be convinced,it seems,that we are beaten,and will turn to AA for finding the way out of our dilemma. Beleive me, I havent met anyone yet who yawned,popped his knuckles,and decided to try AA ! I thank you all for helping me stay sober another day,and hope you enjoy a good day!


Member: Angie A.
Location: Janesville, Wisconsin
Date: November 28, 2002
Time: 01:50 AM

Comments

Hello Everyone! This is my first time here. I am happy to have this forum available, as it is VERY difficult for me to speak up at meetings, so this is much easier for me. Regarding this week's topic, "taking it easy" has been a hard one for me. Sometimes I think I am trying too hard (if that's possible). I want to learn everything and understand everything and figure out the next ten years RIGHT NOW! That "one day at a time" thing has been hard for me. On the other hand, I sometimes think I am taking it too easy. I have procrastinated getting a sponsor, I am stalled at starting my fourth step, and I'm so nervous about speaking up at meetings or pouring coffee, etc., that I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Of course the meetings are very helpful, but everyone tells me that participation and service work is vital, and I want to do what is necessary to not just stay dry, but truly SOBER, content, and growing spiritually every day. Regarding another topic, I would appreciate anyone's input regarding hanging onto resentment. I thought I had put all my resentments toward my ex-husband away, and then all of a sudden the other day, it seemed like they just dropped out of the sky and hit me right on the head! I now realize that deep down inside somewhere, I am still holding on to some resentments toward him that I barely even knew I ever had. I would appreciate any advice or insight on how to truly let them go for good. Is the only way through prayer for God to remove them, or is there something else I can try? Thanks for listening. Angie


Member: Glen
Location:
Date: November 28, 2002
Time: 08:32 AM

Comments

I think we have some members in Phoenix, but this came in the email from Dick B http://www.dickb.com/index.shtml and looks interesting regardless. If anyone wants more info, email me: The First Nationwide A.A. History Conference Phoenix, Arizona February 21 to 23, 2003 Topic: God, Alcoholism, and Alcoholics Anonymous


Member: Glen
Location:
Date: November 28, 2002
Time: 08:35 AM

Comments

Angie, there's a story in the 3rd edition BB where it mentions praying every day for two weeks for the person to get those things that you yourself wish that you had...and after ywo weeks you'll find the resentment had gone away...worked for me, anyway..


Member: Mike S
Location: Wisconsin
Date: November 28, 2002
Time: 12:02 PM

Comments

Happy Thanksgiving. I have a question for someone a bit more "experiance"I have made the committment to stop drinking. I ws not a daily drinker. I went out maybe every two or three weeks. About every 2nd to 3rd time I would drink to excess, sometimes way beyond where I should have been. Both of my parents and grandparents are alcoholics and this scares me. I have abused various drugs in the past, and stopped them cold turkey, with no relapses. This obvisouly creates problems in my personal life. I do not crave alcohol. But I know it is not good for me to drink it. I know there will be a time where I have to say no when I am out with my freinds. That may be a bit awkward, but I know I can do it. I am just looking for any wisdom that some of you may have on my situation. I apologize for my rambling, but it is hard to write in this small box. If anyone would like to email me I can be reached at nomorerocks@yahoo.com Thanks for your help, enjoy the holidays, and enjoy soberness!


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: November 28, 2002
Time: 02:14 PM

Comments

'Easy does it' ... a great topic for a beginner's meeting. My Experience, Strength and Hope relating to 'Easy does it'. As a practicing alcoholic(Me and My Ego) experienced the world as a confusing, complicated place thus this practicing alcoholic(Me and My Ego) needed a coping solution(alcohol). Today, as a recovering alcoholic(me and my ego have the coping solution of this simple, humble program) and thus can learn to experience the world differently. Thanks, to one and all for your simple, humble wisdom ...the sharing of your Experience, Strength and Hope, the Steps and Traditions(program of Alcoholic Anonymous), and a "Healing Power" for living sober. 'Keep coming back'. My name is Sarah, I am a recoving alcoholic today.


Member: claree
Location: Idaho panhandle
Date: November 28, 2002
Time: 08:37 PM

Comments

Hello! My name is Clare and I'm an alcoholic. Are there Virtual Sponsers? Back in '82 I spent 100 hours of shrink time learning that I set myself up to fall. Those 3-4 words were really hard to write/think and to read along the way. This is my first day admitting to being an alcoholic. But admitting to be a self abuser did not stop the abuses. But these 12-steps sound like they'll help. It is hard to believe on the first day. I only occassionally dove in to abusively forget. It is two hours or more both ways to meetings here. That makes Online doable. OK, easy does it.


Member: Tim S.
Location: Reading, Pa.
Date: November 29, 2002
Time: 11:32 AM

Comments

My name is Tim ,A true alchy. At the age of 36 I have A little over 5 months clean after 24 years of addiction.I know I have A lot of work to do on myself still, but I can honestly say I have never in my life felt better physically or mentally than I do right now. I just got on-line for the first time in my life 2 days ago and this is one of the first sites I hit. My local meetings are great but seeing so many people from all over the country is great also. Looking foward to dropping in daily.


Member: Robin Z
Location: NY
Date: November 29, 2002
Time: 02:52 PM

Comments

KATHY K.- Hey!Thanks for the response to my post. You are right. I am not a drinker anymore. Whats your story?


Member: natalie p
Location: los angeles
Date: November 29, 2002
Time: 10:03 PM

Comments

hi everybody i'm natalie i am in the first few weeks of recovery and i'm feeling like i am consumed with anxiety and panic attacks i feel like my life is falling down around me and sometimes i don't know waht to do this is my first time ever in a chat room too i can't do simple things that are necessary for survival am lucky i follow the routine of getting a shower i'm so consumed with fear i also have no apetite which scares me cause since i got sober i have lost so much weight that scares me too i'm not sure i know how to use this chat room properly i have been involved in a long relationship and we did everything together now he is off on a job far away and i have no friends so i am really alone and isolated i wonder if anyone is out there that might be able to relate i went to aa meetings years ago and will try to go back to one right now i have to fly across the country to help my mom who is ill so i can't go tonite as i am flying tomorrow so i thought i'd establish a chat room for myself i hope i'm doing this right


Member: mike s
Location: toledo ohio
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 01:26 AM

Comments

I have 2 days sober and my life is a mess. I went to a meeting tonight and I have some hope that if I stay clean from drugs and alcohol my life will get better. Right now things are so bad it all still seems a little hopeless. Anyway thanks to those of you who have proven that this program works, I hope some day to give hope to someone like me.


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 07:46 AM

Comments

Good morning everyone. Kathy P. alcoholic. I had my 30 days of sobriety on Thanksgiving so today will be 32 days for me, or the entire month of November plus. The firt time in years I have spent an entire month and a major holiday sober! It really feels good so the first few weeks of hell were worth it. My cravings have diminished substantially and I am feeling so much stronger mentally and physically. All I have to say to you out there is to hang in there. It's rough at first, but so well worth it. I feel like a normal human being again for the first time since I don't know when and I am truly grateful to all of you who were a part of helping me.


Member: alchy
Location: usa
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 09:02 AM

Comments

Natalie P I know how you are feeling just take it easy and do one thing at a time,time will pass and you will slowly start to feel better.It may not seem like it but you will---as for feeling anxious,exercise always helped me you pass time and you get in shape Take Care.


Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 01:57 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Cecilia, Alcoholic here. I have managed to stay sober this Thanksgiving -- my first holiday sober. I am happy and calm about the future holidays; it hasn't always been a happy time for me, holiday's have usually been filled with chaos and arguments. I'll "easy does it" and "keep it simple" and stay sober. God bless you all. Love Cecilia


Member: John M
Location: Cocoa Beach, FL
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 05:26 PM

Comments

Hi all, I am John and I'm an alcholic. Even I've been coming to AA since July, I've yet to reach 30 days. But I am at 25 now, and I don't have a desire to drink, so I hope I'll make it this time. Pray for me. Because of my childcare situation I haven't been able to make a meeting since Wednesday. But I've been going through some emotional hell this week and I need to share and perhaps hear other people's thoughts. When I started to get sober, my relationship with my girlfriend of 2 years began to fall apart. She is a practicing alcholic who hasn't come to grips with her problems, yet. I believe she wants to, and I think she wanted me to guide her, but I wasn't capable of doing that. In fact, I withdrew from her. I was very troubled by the whole situation. Even though much of our relationship had revolved around partying, that wasn't all of it. We truly loved each other and were able to share our deepest feelings with each other, a first for both of us. But as I said, we drifted apart. On my side it was because when I was sober, I was disgusted with her drinking. On her part, I think she was afraid of the direction I was going, since she was not ready to do that yet. She kept looking for some affirmation from me that everything was going to be OK, but I couldn't give it to her. About a month ago, we finally broke up. There was no fight or anything involved. It just happened. At first, I felt as if a great weight was lifted off my shoulders and I through myself into AA in away that I didn't before. And this time it "took" for me, I'm truly going through a spiritual rebirth that amazes me. I have no desire to drink and all the desire in the world to turn my life around. On Monday morning she called me over some minor matter. And it was the first time we really talked since the breakup. And I felt all my love bubbling back the surface. And I started thinking about getting back together with her. But there was a problem, she was already dating somebody else. As a matter of fact, she started dating him within a few days of our breakup. All week, I prayed for guidance (Where in the past I would have prayed for God to just give me what I wanted). I spoke with her and e-mailed each other several times during the week. Each time her answer was she couldn't go back to me. But in every conversation and e-mail, there were also hints that she still desparately loved me. My praying led me to the conclusion, that I should not hold anything back. To get to the point, I asked her to marry me. At first she seemed overwhelmed and said she needed to think about it. But a few hours letter she answered me no in a very angry e-mail. Now I'm left in the position of accepting this. Luckily, I haven't drank over it. In fact, the thought of drinking only entered my head for a split second. If this is God's will, I have to accept it. But it is very hard, because I know she still loves me and if she followed her heart we would be back together. She says her relationship with this new guy is great, but I know rebound relationships never work. I won't pursue her anymore, but there is still a part of me that believes she'll change her mind. I'm not counting on, nor am I praying for it. The only thing I'm praying for is serenity and the strength to always do the right thing. Has anybody else had to deal with a crumbling relationship while newly sober. I'd love to hear how you dealt with it. God Bless, John


Member: Ben
Location:
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 06:15 PM

Comments

John M., I'm no expert at all but your most important issue is to stay Sober.Since she is a drinker maybe ask her as a friend not a lover to go to a AA meeting with you,show her theirs more to your relationship than drinking.Hopefully she will work with you.


Member: Wendell
Location: TX
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 08:40 PM

Comments

Hi all. I went back to AA group last nite after my brother an his wife and sons left for Dallas. Glad to se them go even though hes my broyher he dont do me any good to be around when he drank so much. It mae me angry he knows I'm trying to stay quit and he keep on drinking EVEN in my house. I did not drink this time and glad so now it is 7 day since I got drunk last. praying does help. thank you for listening.


Member: John M
Location: Cocoa Beach FL
Date: November 30, 2002
Time: 09:44 PM

Comments

Ben, thanks for your comments. She actually asked to come to a meeting once, but it seemed at the time like it was more to check up on me than anything else, so I told her no. I realize now that it was a big mistake but I can't change the past. In one of our more cordial e-mails this week, I wrote her about that and told her if she ever wanted to go to a meeting, I'd would be happy to take her whether or not we were together. For all of you folks who haven't been to F2F meetings, please go. For me that's where the seeds of the miracle were planted. I've managed to not drink for months at a time in the past. But, guess what, I didn't change anything else in my life so I was still a wreck and ended up drunk again. I've been going to meetings since July and I still haven't got 30 days yet (only 5 more to go!). But my binges were generally one-day things and the next day I was back in the rooms of AA. And then finally the miracle that everybody talks about happened. I am a completely different person and my outlook on life has changed completely. In the past, the stuff I wrote about in my last post would have me drinking very heavily and doing something equally stupid like picking someone up in a bar to allow to make it through the night. Is my life perfect now? Of course not, far from it. But even though the problems that my drinking has caused me are still there, and will be for some time, I have the tools to deal with them. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I know that If I just keep doing the next right thing good things will come. And Chad, having a relationship just to kill the pain is really no different than drinking or using. It might make you feel better in the short run, but there will be hell to pay later on. No relationship that starts under those conditions will stand the test of time. God bless all, John


Member: Vivian M
Location: New York
Date: December 01, 2002
Time: 01:39 AM

Comments

Hello, my name is Vivian and I am an alcoholic I want to say that I started coming to meetings almost 15 years ago because my boyfriend (at the time) had a "real" drinking problem. The miracle was that we came and that I stayed. He was the person who got me here though. Unfortunately he wasn't blessed with the gift and passed away 12/99 of this disease. Be particularly good to yourself in early sobriety and that means staying out of stressful situations if you can. Also going to lots of meetings and putting yourself into the intensive care of other people, like a good sponsor and other sober people who you meet when you go to meetings. Easy does it in every area of your life. Give yourself a break. if you are smoking more or drinking more coffee and eating more ice-cream, so be it. The best change to make right away is staying away from people,places and things that were part of your active life. It sure makes things a lot easier. It also gives you the best shot at staying sober. God bless John...you're in my prayers.


Member: Helena
Location:
Date: December 01, 2002
Time: 03:43 AM

Comments

Hi, Helena, Alcoholic, Almost 5 months sobr. Easy does it helps me every day - because i am such a perfectionist - sometimes I even need to tell myself "easy does it" with regard to my program, because I can beat myself up too much if I don't think I am doing everything ( including recovery ) perfectly. For example tonight it looks like there is going to be a storm - really nasty one - so I shouldn't really go out, but then I start to beat myself up about missing a meeting.....so that is why I am grateful this meeting is here. This is a great topic, I needed to be reminded that I don't have to drive myself nuts over this thing, sometimes it is okay to just enjoy the day and the fact that I am sober today, so instead of beating myself up and stressing that I am not at a meeting - I am going to relax, and just be grateful for today.....thanks for letting me share this with you


Member: Robert A
Location: Central Valley, CA
Date: December 01, 2002
Time: 06:04 AM

Comments

For John M., My name is Robert A. and I have a desire to stay sober. The best sponsor I've ever had told me the only way to truly be of service to another was to only share my experience, strength and hope; so I will do my best. I read your posts and really saw myself there. I'll have 7 years of sobriety next summer and I too have childcare and Ex-girlfriend issues. She wants to be "Friends"; a term we have very different expectations about. I've known her for around 10 yrs. and our son has been in my custody a little over 2 yrs. I can honestly say that I never dreamed things between us would end up this way. But the reality was and still is that as a couple the cons outweigh the pros. The one thing that distracts me from all the what ifs, I should haves and all such overly analytical thoughts is the belief that my son is actually better off not learning that the chaos that is our relationship is normal/accetable. This was/is not easy to deal with on the feeling level but its definitely much more serene than the obssessive desires I had/have to fix the relationship. So if any of this sounds familiar/helpful let me know-there's lots more. The Program of AA was/is without a doubt irreplaceable in early sobriety. My prayers are with you.