Member: John H
Location: Manchester
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 04:49 AM
To John A in Manchester Just to let you know I'm safely into Perth and all is well. Not been to any meetings yet but may tomorrow. Please pass on my regards to the Monday group
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 08:02 AM
Good morning everyone. Shannon from MiSsIsSiPpI: your last posting was so cheerful I hoped maybe you could answer my question. I am on day 11 of sobriety and find myself to be irritable more often than I would like. I also have been having minor bouts of the blues. Did you experience this in the early stages of sobriety and if so, how long did it last? Anyone else please feel free to chime in if you went through this as well. Appreciate any input. Thanks
Member: Madelaine E
Location: South Texas
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 08:21 AM
Hi to all! I think that irritability is normal in early sobriety. Afterall, your body has been deprived of something it had come to depend on--your mind and spirit as well. This fits right in with this week's topic. You're changing your old routine of drinking. I'm doing the same thing and find that I'm easily upset and irritated. (makes me want to drink! LOL!) I've heard knowledgeable people say that it helps to replace old triggers with new responses, like taking a walk, getting on your knees, taking a bath, etc. That's what I'm trying to do. Good luck!
Member: Anna W
Location: FL
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 08:36 AM
Hello All, Anna/alcoholic, I am going into my 4th month and oh yes I experienced the dame thing. I finally chose to accept and took it one hour at a time. This is a mental re-structure as well as physical. My sponsor was a big help through all of this. So yes change your routine to work the steps every morning, every hour of everyday. When you get those blues or irritations try reading the Big Book and they will pass. Eventually your "new" routine is second nature to you. I prayed alot and worked the steps. I owe alot to my Higher Power and I aways keep the channel open for his positive flow to come in. Thanks for letting me share
Member: ShannonH
Location: MiSsIsSiPpI
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 09:31 AM
Hi, Shannon, alcohilc/addict. Yes, Cathy, I went through some pretty severe stages of stess, intolerance, and everything eles you could imagine my 1st 30-60 days. This is called PAW(post accute withdrawl). During my stess periods(every 30 days), my syptoms of sobriety would amplify times 10. I went through some exteme emotional roller coasters. These I found I never could prevent, but I could control, somewhat. That is being able to identify what is going on with me(my stress, impatience,overreating etc.), and just not reacting on them. The key for me today is to act, not react. I can no longer act on my impulse. I have to cope with my highs and lows with out using chemicals to sooth my senses, which is sometimes hard. Peaks of PAW usually occur during the first 3-6 months clean time.(I had to write a paper on it). It's also the recovery of our nervous system, which can take anywhere from 6-24 months. Anyways, enough jabber. The most important thing for me, during these stress sensitivty periods, is to act, not react, to always process what is going on inside of me(like meetings, sponsors, writting)and remain aware and knowledgable of what I am experiencing. I hope that is of some help. I have a stess period coming up soon, so I am just going to hold on.
Member: Tami R
Location: NH
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 10:45 AM
New routines: I thought about writing this topic! Its a freedom to realize that what you use to do all the time is now redundant and you can do new things and create new routines. For example: On Christmas eve I'd never go to church because by then I'd be too buzzed. NOW I can not only go but be the designated driver and bring others.
Member: Glen
Location:
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 11:16 AM
Shannon, you don't hear too much about PAW. If you'll look at when those peaks occur, they correspond to when most groups give out chips, don't they? 1,3,6 and 9, some do at 2...a little something to get you "up" and motivated...of course, Bill W and gang didn't know about PAW, they just knew alcoholism...
Member: Mike W.
Location: Hillsdale Michigan USA
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 11:27 AM
Hi. Everyone, Mike Here, a Gettin' Better Alcoholic. Three short years ago I was awaiting release from a 90 day intense rehab which followed almost a year of County Jail- State Penitentary and that was how I received "THE GIFT" of the first year sober. I don't know much about getting sober in the free world, I did get 29 days once, went to a meeting everyday, and then found an excuse to stop off and have "just one" Well I finally got it through my thick head that that will never work again for me. I got sick of the consequences enough I guess to do WHATEVER you people told me I had to do. I had to learn NEW WAYS cause the OLD WAYS KILLED THE OLD ME!! I Know a Higher Power On the Throne of my heart today and a simple one day at a time 12 step program and fellowship I never thought possible. I Beleive God can change a persons "DESIRES" to enable them to live a life that they never dreamed would "Appeal to them" Thats the New WAY I Received when I became willing to turn in my old ways. Thanks for letting me share! Mike W. wolffden@comcast.net
Member:
Location:
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 01:22 PM
Yes Glen, you are correct. The chip system does go by high stress periods in sobriety. Sobriety-based symptoms can be extremely hard to cope with, and the chip system does give us that extra push to continue striving. I had no idea what PAW was until at 30 days I curled up in my bed(in treatment)ready to give up, when my councilor came to me and explained to me what was going on. Her favorite saying was "knowledge is power". And I know there comes a time where there is no mental defense aginst the overwhelming desire to use, but the knowledge of how to cope with life on life's terms is essential. As far as changing old routines, that is without a dout neccesary. I attempted to maintain abstinence, while still practicing those, learned self-defeating behaviors, (which is where my problem originated). I was still being decitful and manipulative and selfish, and I failed. I had to make a complete change. I had to examine my past and my belief system, and realize just how screwed up it was. So, I had to create a new kind of belief system, which is the 12 step program. I have had to base my entire life on it and practice the principles with every breath I take. Of course, I still screw up. But I continualy strive for progress. My perceptions have changed. I can now identify what defects and characteristics keep me sick(through my 10th step), and work on changing them, 1 day at a time. I am a completely different person, but those defects seep out when I least suspect them. And I'm not sure if they will ever go away, but with working the steps, and of course, my Higher Power, I can better be aware of what I need to change. And through sharing and interaction, I can learn how to change them.
Member: ShannonH
Location: MiSsIsSiPpI
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 01:25 PM
I forgot to put my name
Member: Marcia P.
Location: Lincoln Park MI.
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 03:11 PM
I have a boyfriend that wants to find where some meetings are in the Lincoln Park, MI. area, and times. He is also looking for a rehab center that he can look into. He has blue-cross Insurance. Marcia P.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 03:55 PM
Marcia, have your boyfriend email me. I have a directory of meetings all over the world. I can help. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Kristen L
Location:
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 04:58 PM
Hi Kristen /Alcoholic: I am freshly out of a 1 1/2 week visit to detox and rehab and i am feeling pretty good. I just would like some tips on getting a sponsor. I am also looking for advice on how to make amends. One last thing before i end. Before i went in to rehab my husband and i would fight over me drinking and now we fight over what there is to do because when i was drinking all i wanted to do was sit around the house and drink or go to a bar and drink now that i am starting my recovery and would like to do stuff to keep me busy he is not interested and i think that the drunk me married the wrong guy. Please help! Thanks for letting me share. jkmg205@aol.com
Member:
Location:
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 05:50 PM
Hi Shannon, alcoholic/addict. Kristen, I just got my new sponsor, and this is the 1st one I have ever used. I am the kind of person who needs tough love, and that is what she gives. She will not tell me what I want to hear, she tells it like it is. She is my age, and she was addicted to the same substances I was(I did not know that until after I asked her). I have only been her sponsee for a week, so I really don't know what eles to say. I know I had to find someone I could relate to and had been through the wringer. When you find that person, maybe she could help you on your amends, once you get to that step. As far as relationships, I know once I accepted this program, and I began to change, I was not attracted to the same types of people. I had done a complete 360. Thats when my taste changed, my likes and dislikes changed, everything, just...changed. Because I had changed. Even though I miss my old "friends", I know they are not healthy for me,and once I took away getting loaded, we didn't have that much in common anymore. Just food for thought.
Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 06:21 PM
Hi all John A /Alcoholic: John H, Nice to see you are ok in Perth. all is well.I will pass on your regards to the Monday group. Nice to here from you. Changing Old Routines, For me this is spending more time with my Kids and no time with the bottle. We now spend more time doing things as a family which means we all get on better, this quality with my family is helping me stay sobour and hopfuly keeping a family together. We had no quality time before as it was all given to the bottle. Changing Old Routines. not picking up that first Drink. Thanks everyone John A
Member:
Location:
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 07:11 PM
Shannon thanks for the advice i will definately put it to use. I have only been married for 4 months but what ever has to give has to give. I will just take it day by day and see what my higher power has in store for me :-) Kristen
Member: Mike W.
Location: Hillsdale, Michigan USA
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 07:11 PM
>>>Marcia P. from Lincoln Park Hi. I'm Mike from Hillsdale Mi. formerly Bellville and I' Got 2 web sites for you to chech out... www.aa-semi.org and www.brightonhospital.org hope these will be helpfull. I'd welcome an E-mail also.. wolffden@comcast.net I am glad to help any way that I can.. Good Luck
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 09:13 PM
Kristen, my husband and I were both drunks so we both chose to sit around the house every weekend. Now we are both in recovery and I can see that we need to change our patterns. I spoke to him today about going to learn about the stars at the local university. I am very lucky because we are doing this together. The suggestions I have made to him about changing habits and patterns he seems very agreeable. We attended our first meeting together today. It was a real break through for us. Don't give up on your husband, it may take him sometime to accept the new you. Remember he is a co-dependent person. My prayers are with you.
Member: Mike W,
Location: Hillsdale Michigan USA
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 12:18 AM
>>> Hey Marcia P. Hi Mike Again this following web addres will take you right to the site & page that gives you the meeting Schedule for the Downriver Alano Club right there in Lincoln Park ...Good Luck !!! http// www.aa-semi.org/Level1~pages/downriver_alano_club.htm
Member: Genie K
Location: NJ
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 12:58 AM
Hi all,Gene here an alcoholic-after my slip on Sat'i am. hopefully off to a new start,no drinking last 24 hrs.so with help from my HP and ODAATi am striving for recovery.Changing old routines,good topic..But being it is 1am here, will think about that and be back tomorrow.Genie K
Member: Grateful Alcoholic
Location: AA WORKS
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 02:31 AM
One day at a time or even one minute at a time - Don't pick up the first drink and you can't get drunk. Don't put yourself in places where people are drinking - particularly in early recovery.Stay away from your old play areas (bars etc) Don't drink and go to meetings.
Member: Ray
Location: London
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 08:19 AM
Hi My name is Ray/Alcoholic. I am just about to undergo a second trip to rehab, and am feeling a little uneasy with myself. Have been sober for 4 weeks and have rediscovered my love for my wife and family. I was in rehab about 9 years ago and slipped back into my old ways inevitably slowly losing control over my life on a daily basis. I struggled with going to meetings last time and hopefully will really give it a go this time. My question is who or what should you look for in a sponsor, someone of similar age, background or is it exactly the opposite ? Any guidance would be appreciated
Member: John M
Location: NC
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 12:31 PM
I'm John/Alcoholic: I've never done this before and am a little scared. I want to stop but haven't. So far it hasn't destroyed my life but is working quickly on my health. I drink to get away from all the stress but it just creates more stress because I feel so bad all the time.How do I stop? Is there really help for me?
Member: Brian G.
Location: No. Cal
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 01:01 PM
Hi all Brian/Alchoholic here, I, like John NC, am new to this and am a little aprehensive. I've tried half-heartedly to stop before and always thought I could do it on my own. I realize now that I can't. I'm losing my kids emotionally, they just don't trust me and I must get help and change my ways. I fell upon this site by accident and am wondering where I go from hear. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated. I'll be checking back.
Member: tracy w
Location: az
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 01:21 PM
Tracy alcoholic, wow, it has been to long since i havc said that... Today, is going to be my first day, I do not want to drink any more....I need help, I need humility,,,I am going to pray today, and try to stay away from the first drink.. thank you for listening tracy4tyler@yahoo.com
Member: Leslie S
Location: Norfolk VA
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 01:34 PM
Greetings and warmth all. Leslie S. and alcoholic here and 24 hours sober (again). I've hit 3 bottoms so far and I feel as if this most recent one may be the last. Having recently been reunited with an old and dear friend(who happens to be 4 years sober), I was dishonest with her about my sobriety and this has caused her to run away as she does not trust me. Frankly, I don't blame her but I am dying inside knowing that alcohol and this disease has cost me the potential for a very loving and caring relationship. I am having a hard time trusting my Higher Power as I feel something very wonderful has been taken away from me because of this disease. As I know that I need to do whatever it takes to stay sober, I miss sharing with my dear friend. Perhaps this is for the best though right now I am cursing this disease.
Member: genie K
Location: NJ
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 02:22 PM
Hi all, I am an alcoholic striving for sobriety9since my slip on Sata new 24 hrs. On this Veterans Day I amremembering years,past.1942 my high school classmates who eagerly enlisted before graduation.So many never returned,their lives only marked with white crosses some where in Europe.Charlie was draftedin 1942 andspent almost 4 years abroad.Today,his memory for pr4esent is dulled, but not for his war years.He tells the kids of humorous times.Like the parties they had in darkened tents in Africa drinking their supply of horded beers.Or when arriving in Italy-no deluxe accomadation-first few nites spent sleeping in the bleachers of a sport stadium.No BOX seats available.War in Europe was over as he was on a ship bound for the mideast.Luckily Japan surrendered- sparing the lives of ore of our service men—but remembering all lost in the Pacific island battles.He spent next 6 months in the Phillipines(still has phopo of hie Filipino girl friend(I was not a part of his life then,tho Iwas friend of his sister and had met himonceLOL0He finally came home xmas of 1945.So for both of us I am honoring all our many veterans of all wars!!I had greatgrandfathers whofought in Civil War–one a Yankee and one a Confederate soldier.!!Let us all pray for peace today and forever love to all ,Geniefrom NJ
Member: michael
Location: indiana
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 02:52 PM
hello, my name is mike and ive got a great question? i have a real hard time breaking the routine of stopping by the liquor store. last night i drove about five miles out of my way to not pass one. how do you folks do it?
Member: mike blodgett
Location: indiana
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 02:56 PM
michaelblodgett@hotmail.com
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 03:00 PM
Ray, Good Luck with finding a sponsor. I was blessed with one right away as I have only attended two meetings. She is close to my age, nothing like me, other than Alcohol which links us all together. Affirm for the right one and he or she will come your way. Brian, and John attend meetings, read from the Big Book daily and Pray daily it will work for you. I have also found much comfort in posting here daily. I am new at this but very determined to stay sober. Leslie, sorry about your conflict with your friend. I as well had one with my son but now I can see it was the best thing that has happened to me in quite awhile. It forces us to take a good look at ourselves. Genie, I am with you on the Peace, I know it begins with me. Tracy get to a meeting or atleast speak with a AA old timer. Love and Light to All.
Member: GenieK
Location: New Jersey
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 05:06 PM
Hi all,I am an alcoholic,back(after my slip) striving for recovery.I am also acompulsive gambler.Last bet Aug 2002..Having worked the steps there,Thereare such similarities, both being compulsive addictions.I truly feel I am too new to offer any advice.Having said that will poceed to offer someLOL—Leslie your friend may turn out to be you biggest supporter if she believes you are really serious about stopping drinking.,especially if she is in AA tooBrian,I had same problem with my adult children about gamblimg.I lost their respect and have to earn it back.Now when i say I am going to stop drinking, they are sceptical.My oldest son–Show us Mom!!!Not to changing routines.Those who have read what I have previoudly written, know I ama 79 yr.old,mother of 3 nad grannie of 8 much loved grandkids.Also have a hubbie with Alzheimers disease, so have lots of changing to do everyday.He has surprised me last few days for not drinking wine,today he bought only beer.If I can set an example it gives more reasonto stick with this program ODAAT with help from my HP.Difficult part will be holidays with the kids-they all drink(BUT SENSIBLY) which I never did!Oh well there is always lemonade and Sprite (caffeine free) which I have been guzzling the last few days.Am going to lunch with a friend Thursday,already told her I am not drinking my usual glass of wine,maybe I will try the alcohol free wine0know its not completly free but at 1/2 % alc. it is a big difference from 12%Just a my children gamble on accassion,and also drink-one cannot expect to avoid people-I am the only one that it is necessary to changeLOLGuess I have rambled on enough for today.Love and peace to all Genie
Member: JB
Location: NY
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 05:09 PM
Hello to all. JB here. Alcoholic. I happened upon this site during my many hours of researching information on alcoholism. I have been touched by the love and concern for each other. I am beginning my journey into a sober life today and feel as if I have found a loving group and thank you all for being here. Here I go!
Member: Eve S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 06:09 PM
Good Luck JB. You can do it.
Member: Anne M.
Location: Hillsboro, Ore.
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 07:06 PM
With a bit more than 60 days of sobriety under my belt, I can see how changing my routine helped. First, and most dramatic, I did a 3-week residential treatment program because after 3 years, trying to stop on my own was NOT WORKING. There I made a commitment to put sobriety first in my life. That means doing everything that is suggested by AA -- going to 90 meetings in 90 days, reading the Big Book, making myself open up to people, being honest with others, "letting go and letting god," etc. I don't have a sponsor yet, but am looking for one. Sobriety -- especially when you're new -- has to be your first priority in life, over everything else. Before I made this absolute decision to change my life, the obsession to drink would not leave. No amount of worry, research or humiliating, painful experiences would stop me from drinking. Now, the obsession is gone. I have cravings here and there, but when I do, I go to a meeting or call someone or read the BB, etc. It's working. If there was an easier way to get sober, people would probably be doing it, not joining AA. Once I truly surrendered to the disease, I didn't actually have to plan how to change my routines -- I just instinctually made changes. Drinking was suddenly not an option. Already I feel so much better physically and emotionally. Being an active AA member is different -- but in a wonderful way. I'm finally getting back to learning about myself and life, instead of hiding from both. Plus, there are some really cool people in AA meetings. Yep, I'm a-ramblin'. Over & out.
Member: Bobbi J.
Location: North West
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 08:08 PM
Bobbi J. here. Alcoholic. I am a retread. Was sober 5 1/2 years. Stopped meetings. Got drunk. Am back on the road to recovery. I agree with Anne M. In order to get my feet back in the grid, I must make sobriety my first priority - I'd say for me, my only priority. I am truly grateful for this site where I can find others in search of a better life. I will be here tomorrow as well. Bobbi J.
Member: Grace
Location: New Haven
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 09:21 PM
Michael keep going the alternative route. Also, remember how you felt the next day after drinking, TERRIBLE. Pray, Prayers and more Praying. Meetings Meetings, and more Meetings. Call someone who will listen, and Read from the Big Book. I also asked for a Army of Prayer Warriors. If you ask they will be there. It works.
Member: David W
Location: Summit
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 11:39 PM
Hi, I am David and I'm an alcoholic. I decided to change my routine today. I haven't been going to any face to face meetings lately, instead, just checking in on a daily basis to this wonderful site. Well, I want to thank everyone posting on this early sobriety page for helping me change my routine -- reading all the suggestions to newcomers regarding going to meetings, finding a sponser, etc .... and reading all the posts about the experience of going to the 1st meeting-- had me feeling quilty about not going to meetings (it's been a few years!?!) and not getting a new sponser since I moved 10 yrs ago, not continuing to practive the steps, and not being able to give this program to others in the right way. I am gratefull that I haven't had the urge to drink for some time now, but feeling a strong need to change my selfish ways -- yes, I am starting to see just how selfish I really am --I know I need to get active in this fellowship in order to grow spiritually, I believe this is the only way for me. My old routine was to read AA materials, read the posts on this site, keep to myself, and not drink. It turns out, as smart as I thought I had become regarding my alcoholism, I need AA just as much now as I did on my 1st day sober. Without working on my defects - go figure - my defects haven't been curing themselves. Without practicing the steps, I am not a very loving person and I am not in the mode of helping others -- I just play the it's all about Dave game, when things go my way I'm great, when they don't I am a big baby -- so anyway I don't want to live that way any more, life is to short to walk around angry all the time -- AA offers a program for living (on a spiritual basis, the new part for me) that is much better than my way. Today I made a new beginning, I looked up meeting times in my area, was lucky enough to find a Big Book meeting that was meeting tonight, and I went to it ...and, unlike my old routine, I introduced myself to some people and made a commitment to go back that meeting -- who know's, it seems like the group could be a good group to make my home group. In anycase, I am determined to keep at it and get a new sponser that will help guide me through all the steps again and again. Thanks everyone for being here - keep posting! reading your posts daily is a part of my old routine that I don't want to change. Anne C, welcome back. Marsha, keep coming back, the "crutches" worry me. Good luck to JB and all the other newcomers. Thanks.
Member: Vanessa R
Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Date: November 11, 2002
Time: 11:54 PM
Hi--today I got my 1st 24 hour chip. I am going to meetings b/c I can no longer continue to live the way I am living. I have never before felt like I was with people who had the same "stories" to tell as me. My question is about getting started. It isn't hard for me to admit that my life has become unmanageable--that's the easy part. But I don't know much about this book thing and I'm a little uncomfortable w/all this talk about a Higher Power (I'm not religious in any sense--not even spiritually). Also, I'm uncertain about how to find a sponsor. So basically, while my heart's definitely in the right place, I'm a little worried that my head is not; any suggestions are welcome. Thanks
Member: Rick R.
Location: Middle East
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 02:18 AM
Hi, everybody My name is Rick R. I'm from Texas but am living in the Middle East...in a country where there is no AA, I think. Lots of expats here, but if there are any AA chapters here, I've never heard. I guess I am an alcoholic, and I am not yet sober. I keep promising myself...(Have you heard that one before?) I live in a country where drinking is legal, and just my luck, live next door to a hotel with several bars in it. I hate the alcoholic me, the recluse, sit-at-home, feeling bad most of the time. I had a doctor's appointment this week, and I got a 30-minute speech on the dangers of drinking, stuff I already knew backwards and forwards. It looks like this will be the only AA chapter I have access to. I need some serious help. I'm a dead man if I don't get it. Medically, I mean. Hypertension and adult-onset diabetic, fortunately, not insulin dependent...yet.
Member: Mike J
Location: Alaska
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 02:32 AM
Hi Vanessa R, Mike, alcoholic. Your head seems to be in the right place because you got your chip and you are reaching out for help. I entered AA 10 months ago with no belief and no spirituality. Where you are at you don't have to believe anything. If you are willing to believe than you can move forward. The rest will come. That is a big step but one that I have no regrets about taking. As far as the book thing, just open it up and start reading. The answers to some of your questions are right there. Keep going to meetings and remain open-minded-don't worry! I think we have all had the same worries and questions and the answers will come with time as long as you make yourself available to hear them. You will find, as I have, that you will find that feeling that you have always been looking for in the fellowship of AA.
Member: Tyla M.
Location: NY
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 02:35 AM
Member: Crystal
Location: Corpus Christ, Tx
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 03:22 AM
My name is Crystal and I'm an alcoholic. I really wanted to drink today. This isn't quite in tune with the topic, but I've got almost a year sober, coming up on the 23rd. I went to a meeting, but didn't tell anyone there that I wanted to drink. I was afraid they would think that I was weak or something of that sort. I am twenty years old and have been on my fourth step for about three months and its really starting to hurt. I'm into service work and have a few sober contacts, but I am really reaching here. My knucles are whiter than ever. Sponsor doesn't think I have been through enough to keep me sober. I think I don't want to hurt anymore. I know this is against the rules but an email from another sober alcoholic surely wouldn't hurt. I'm grateful to be sober today and think I'll make it through the night. quirksdesign@hotmail.com
Member: ANN Q.
Location: ENGLAND
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 04:59 AM
Good morning everyone - from wet old England. Ann - alcoholic.Good to hear of so many newcomers to the fellowship, all sounding so hopeful.Kathy and Vanessa these feelings you have today are so normal in early recovery just remember" this too shall pass", and remember that we are recovering from a life threatening disease, so " easy does it".It isn't a race.My thoughts are with you,stick with it. Kristen, I worry that you are looking at your Husband in a different light so early in recovery.Don't forget our heads are still playing tricks on us.Also with the help of AA and our higher power we can change, you husband doesn't have that. As you get well then so will he.Too early to trade him in!! Brian thanks for your share.I think the guilt and fear we have surrounding our children is devastating.I have three aged from 24- 9yrs. I struggled, in fact I was tormented by what my alcoholism had brought upon them.Thankfully not today! Today my children can trust me.As I have become sober and grown emotionally, so have they.It really does work Brian,not overnight but you will reap the benefits by just staying sober a day at a time, and seeing your family heal is a wonderful thing.I wish you well, don't be apprehensive about posting here we are all in the same club.SIGNED UP FOR LIFE! Love to you all- keep coming back. ann.xxx
Member: Lyn S
Location: Michigan
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 06:08 AM
Crystal, I have sat at tables with those who have many years of sobriety have said the urge to drink has returned occasionally. For me, when I get the urge it is usually because I am trying to avoid some potentially painful experience. I try to remember to think it thru and remember that this too shall pass.
Member: Robin A
Location: FL rjamato@hotmail.com
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 08:33 AM
Good Morning (((all))), Robin~alcoholic and addict of MORE here. Sober by the Grace of G~d since 3/20/1999. (((Genie))) Your only fooling yourself with the "non-alcoholic" wine...guarentee (sp) it will lead you into another binge. Total abstinence is the only way. A crutch here, a crutch there will only lead you back where you say you don't want to go again. Try getting to a f2f (face to face) meeting, pick up a white chip and share on how your feeling TODAY and ask others their opinion on the wine at lunch on Thursday. Good luck and G~d Bless all of you newcomers...its a hard journey but well worth the rewards.
Member: Nicole G.
Location: Minnesota (Presetly living in Spain)
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 09:00 AM
Hello Everyone. I´m Nicole and I´m an alcoholic, sober by the grace of god, sponsorship and people like you since 9/5/97 and for that I´m really grateful. Kristen, get a sponsor as soon as possible. For me it was helpful to choose a woman who had more sobriety than I did, had worked the steps, and had something I wanted. Listen in meetings and choose someone, God will put what you need in your life. Also, it was suggested to me in early recovery that I not make any major decisions (aka deciding my husband was the wrong one) Try and be loving and helpful towards your husband, see what you can add to the relationship not what you can take away. For everyone struggling with restlessnes and feeling unhappy in early sobriety it is totally normal. I was taught early on to be of service to others when I feel bad... it is really helpful. Get to a meeting and see who you can help! May God Bless You And Keep You... Until Then, Nicole G. nicolergerman@yahoo.com
Member: John M
Location: NC
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 09:47 AM
Hi, John M/Alcoholic: Am 24 hours sober and already feel better physically, if that's possible. Maybe its the knowledge that I have taken the first step. I'm going to leave in a few minutes for my first meeting. Not sure what I do there but guess someone will help me. Rick R. I can't imagine living away from home in an area so politically stressed and trying to stay sober. I hope you have some support systems there. I'm impressed by the people from all over the world who reach out on this site. Guess we're not really alone if we don't choose to be. I'm not far enough along to have different views of family. I have no real friends except my husband and that may be part of the problem. No one to talk to or to vent with. Its easier sometimes to drink than to not drink. It makes the lonliness easier because you don't remember it...or at least I don't. Thanks to all of this site for your support and I'll pray for all of us.
Member: Donna
Location: Fl
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 10:44 AM
Crystal, I was told early on that by sharing what is going on with me I lessen the problem, by not sharing it. It would become larger & larger. Change is the subject & I always kept things to myself so you would not find out who I was. By learning how to live sober that had to change. I also believe if you are having trouble with the 4th step, then you need to go back a step. My sponsor told me with each step there is a promise & if that promise has not happened then you have not taken that step. I have been in AA since 1990, & it is the best life I have had. I would talk with some other women in the meetings you go to and see who has worked the steps & can show you how to take each one in accordance with the Big Book. No one has the right to tell me I cannot stay sober for any reason. God does the work not us humans as I sometime want to believe. Coming up on a birthday makes most of us crazy for some reason. So hang in there. Go to more meetings. Talk with more sober people & keep on posting. Talking to a newcomer is highly recomended when going through anything that makes us uncomfortable.
Member: annamarie m
Location: florida
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 10:59 AM
Hi I'm Annamarie/alcoholic I too am new to this and the past 3 months I have drank 3 times.Compared to what I would normally drink I would agree coming to the meetings are a great help, especially the people. Can anyone tell me how I can get a sponser online? IT sure would help me. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: john murphy
Location: brooklyn
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 12:48 PM
my name is john murphy, and i'm an alocholic. on the subject of changed routines, that right there, owning and accepting my alcholism as a part of who i am and sharing that with others in the way i introduce myself at a meeting (in person and on line) is a major change. i knew i was an alcoholic long before i ever said it, privately or out loud, to myself or my higher power, never mind another person. but today, thanks to this program and its fellowship, i can say it with confidence, and go forth in that confidence to do something about my alcoholism. i can make a meeting. i can check in online. i can call my sponsor or any other alcoholic. i can pick up the literature. these things that i can do and that i try to do are changes in routine and pattern in and of themselves, but they all stem from that very first admission, to myself and my higher power, that i am an alcholic. that i am powerless over alcohol. and that if i continue to live on my own will, my life will continue to be unmanageable. i don't want to do that, so i turn over what i can to my higher power through the means i've learned from all of you, these things i can do and try to do often. to stay close to it, i take a page out of 'living sober', which recommends changing patterns and routines on all levels of our lifestyles as reminders throughout the day to do things differently. i start shaving in the mornings on the opposite side of my face than i used to. i drive to work on a different route. i floss before bed. all of these are simple, incredibly simple changes, that have been revolutions in how present i am to my own life. i am making a conscious effort to not do what comes natural - because, as an alcoholic, what comes natural is a ferocious self destruction that i don't want to and can no longer live. of course: that same natural tendency to self destruct that i'm attempting to overcome in putting these suggestions into practice will rear it's head in these things too: sometimes i miss meetings for no reason besides laziness or rationalization, and i find other ways to avoid reminding myself that i'm an alcoholic. i often don't call my sponsor for any number of reasons. it's a good thing i havent rested my growth along these lines entirely on one or two changes, and even better that most of them don't have to do only with me but with the fellowship. there is a network in place to keep my disease from sabotaging even my best efforts to grow, and it has saved me more times than i can count. i am grateful to this program in all of the ways that it exists and all of the ways that i've taken suggestions on putting it into practice. if you're new or just coming back, that's the best suggestion i can reliably give: take suggestions. find someone who you feel connected to, and see what they suggest. what feels right, even if it feels like a challenge, do what you can to do it. thanks for letting me share!
Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Ohio
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 01:02 PM
Gabrielle grateful recovering alcoholic...there are many good sugestions here today but also I see that there are those still willing to trya nd make it seem hard for the newcomer...the best thing I saw posted here today is: Don't drink , go to meetings...there are a smany different ways to choose a sponsor as there are ways to stay sober....MY Two Cents......the first 2 yrs I did not go anywhere where alcohol was sold or served including relatives.....at 6 months sober I was served divorce papers and had no choice but to participate in a divorce-contrary to the "don't make any major descions the first yr....My sponsor was the nothing like me at the time, she was who I wanted to become.....I have had numerous dreams about drinking and drugging (as I am duel addicted) but never acted on any because I reached for the phone not a drink or drug, did it scare me ? Hell yes. the last time that happened was 6 mos ago... God willing I will be given 15 years fo freedom from self the 20th of this month...so again i reiterate. go to meetings, hang with those who show they are sober, listen to what people say and watch what they do...sometimes that can be a big clue as to who is working a program and who is not...and remmeber we all got here the same way....I can not imagine someone living and telling me I had not gone through enough to stay sober....bad advice and I don't care how many years that person has just plain BS in my opinion....only the individual knows what is too much or not enough.....not enough you will drink again,, to much you are probably buried......AA did not safe my life, the treatment center did by locking me up and physically away from that which was driving me insane and killing me, what AA did for me was teach me how to LIVE LIFE ON LIFE"S TERMS ONE DAY AT A TIME....yesterday is gone and any chance to grow within it gone as well, tomorrow is not here yet and not for me to be concerned with....DON'T DRINK, GO TO MEETINGS..... it can be that simple...the rest will come with time in and even that will depend on what lengths yu are willing to go to to stay sober....I try to put as much effort into staying sober that I did drinking.....Just my 2 cents....I hope you see in a meeting someone you would like to be like, I pray you hear the words that will give you the hope to continue one more day...no matter what you never have to be alone again... I cannot Fail until I stop trying, In Sobriety, In AA, In Life. Gabrielle
Member: Shannon
Location:
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 04:15 PM
Hi all, Shannon, alcoholic/addict. I would just like to say congrats on all of the people here wanting and trying to get sober. All of these suggestions and input I am sure can seem overwhelming at first. All I can tell you is there is a MUCH better life out there than living under the control of alcohol and drugs. A world free of dependence on any substance. It is absolutely amazing how much life has to offer when I am clean and sober and actually living, instead of trying to survive. The longer I am clean and working a program of recovery, the more I am serene and content in my life. I no longer have a big void or emptiness I am trying to fill with alcohol and drugs, but I am full of love, understanding, and compassion, and...wow, I'm happy. Good luck to (((all of you))).
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 04:32 PM
Lonnie, Alcoholic. My husband & I read a prayer from a recovery book about not passing on the addiction to our children. It really hit home for me. Crystal, I am sure that must be hard, you have come so far. Congratulations on your success. I personally think only you know how much you have gone through. Rick, get a copy of the Big Book & read. Post here often. I live out in the country in Texas and I am limited as to the meeting I can attend. Web address you may try www.aamolly.org.uk/world.html. Vanessa, keep your heart open, the head will follow. I want everyone to know that the advice I give is really directed at me for this is a mirror for me and such a help with my own new sobriety. Thanks everyone for being here. Stay Sober
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 06:24 PM
Day after day, year after year, I did the same thing: I got up with a bad hangover, struggled through a miserable day at work, trying not to puke, then I would head to “the bar” for happy hour and start having shots of whiskey washed down with beer. Usually I’d be broke by 8 when happy hour ended, so I’d head home in a blackout and drink at home until I passed out. Coming to, just to start all over again. I felt like there was no hope for change. I had been on the edges of AA and hated the whole idea because it was just another cult. The pattern finally broke when I found myself in a hospital ICU with alcohol poisoning. When I got out of detox, I went to as many as 5 meetings a day for the several weeks, and then 2 a day when I started working again. I even went to a meeting that I hated, because it occurred over happy hour. By the end of the second meeting I was so tired I just wanted to get home and go to bed. I did this for my first year. I used AA as a place to hang-out instead of the bars at first, until with your help, AA became my home and now you are all my family. Please, Keep Coming Back.
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 06:39 PM
Hello everyone. Just wanted to let you all know how much this site means to me and being able to come here and read about your stuggles and acheivements. It helps so much. I am two weeks sober today, and I have to admit that although I was very motivated in the beginning, it has gotten pregressively more difficult for me. Tonight my cravings were so bad I almost gave into them. But first I came to this site and it made me remember why I wanted to quit in the first place and gave me the inspiration to tough it out another day. Thank you all for being here and sharing your stories. It helps more than you would believe.
Member: d
Location:
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 06:43 PM
Kristen. Dump him !!!
Member: Karen P.
Location:
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 08:33 PM
Hi, I'm Karen, an alcoholic. I really don't have anything I want to share today, but my sponsor told me to, so this is it. I am going on nine months sober, and right now it is going by slowly. I still notice where the liquor stores are, but I don't stop. A good drunk would be a relief right now, but I won't do it. I've told my sponsor to kick me in the butt for dragging my feet on proceeding with the 4th step, and we are supposed to be starting it on Friday. I am pessimistic about it, and I'm not sure why. It seems like I will never be ready because I know I haven't completed my 3rd step, but I'm not sure I ever will to my satisfaction (I am a perfectionist). I'm not getting to enough meetings and I know that isn't good. And I'm sick of all this "I,I,I" that's coming out of my fingers. Please forgive me for my self-centered prattle. Maybe I'll be better soon. I do appreciate your being here. I am away from home all week and have no meetings which I can work into my schedule while I'm out of town. Thank heavens I have my two dogs with me, because it's really lonely. Please give me some encouragement about moving on with step 4 despite being unsure about a higher power. I am willing to make it the AA group, but I clam up in f2f meetings, with my stomach in a knot, and my sponsor tells me that if the group is my higher power then I must share. So this is where I share. And I'll be back.
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 09:08 PM
((Annamarie in FL)) - if you are looking for someone to email to help with sobriety, my email is opals@sobercity.com. ((Lonnie)) I remember when you first came on this site and started posting, what a change and great progress you have made already! You go girl!! This program can make a difference if we let it!! Now on to topic. When I first became sober it was a very lonely time for me because all my friends drank like I did, all my activities revolved around drinking and most of my daily thoughts. These routines were hard to change, painful even, but they were what was holding me in the rut of the disease. New sober friends in the program and a few sober 24 hours later, I am a much happier (and nicer I hope) person. It works if we work for it. God Bless all.
Member:
Location:
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 10:00 PM
Leslie P.: Hows those 'crutches' working for you?
Member: ro
Location: ma
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 10:40 PM
Hi roanne/alcoholic here. I am still here listening to all. Kathy, I too was very motivated at first. After my first two weeks I had a slip, and now I have one solid week. The urge to drink is sometimes strong and unpredictable. Thanks for your words. Maybe my "motivation" is white knuckling. The good news is it got me a few sober days. I know I've got to move on to the next step. Tonight I'll go to bed sober and pray for God to grant me the serenity...
Member: Jane G.
Location: Florida
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 11:15 PM
Welcome to all newcomers-the only requirement for membership in AA is a DESIRE to STOP DRINKING. My experience, strength & hope to share is simple: 90 meetings in 90 days & don't pick up a drink. Keep your ears open in meetings and find a sponsor who has what you want. Get a list of phone numbers in meetings and pick up the phone instead of a drink. It's a simple program that works for those who want sobriety. Thank all of you for sharing-it's a good reminder to me that it is easier for this alcoholic to stay sober than to get sober! DON'T DRINK & GO TO A MEETING! Has anyone heard from Bette? I haven't seen her post for awhile. Thank you all for being a part of my sobriety today.
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 12, 2002
Time: 11:56 PM
Hi All, I have enjoyed reading all of your posts. It makes me think and remember. About the topic, Changing old routines, everything has changed for me. It had to or I would have never have been able to stop drinking. My old routine was to stay drunk 22 hours a day, 24/7. I got up at 2pm. and checked the booze supply. If I was low I checked how much money I had or if I needed to go to the bank. I downed a half gallon of water and then threw up. I was so dehydrated and thirsty. I would sometimes shower if the sweats were not that bad and head to the liquor store. They all knew me there, the lady with the sunglasses and the shakey hands! They knew my fav wine and how much it cost too. I'd head home and make dinner but usually not eat and start drinking. After dinner I sat around on the couch and watched tv till 2am drinking and smoking cigarrettes. Then I would go to bed and start all over again. Pretty darn pathetic but that was my routine. Now I am doing everything different. AA has shown me that drunks like me have a chance at a happy and sober life. Just being sober in itself is a gift from God. I am new in the program but more than willing to grab the lifeline. I don't do everything right yet but that will come in time. I listen and learn, go to meetings, hang out with people in the program, and most of all...DON'T DRINK!!! I know this sounds ridiculous but just the thought of drinking/ how sick I was, scares the living hell out of me. It is my best deterrent really! AA meetings and the 12 steps along with the fellowship help me to keep it together one day at a time. My new routine is much better, getting out of bed, meeting up with friends for coffee, helping someone with a ride to a meeting, being healthy and active. It's all positive now. My character defects are still there even though I don't drink anymore and I seem to notice them more sober. For now I just pray on it. I can't take years and years of rubble and make it into a pretty building overnight. I like to think of myself as a work in progress.... Just for today! Kelly
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 07:02 AM
Kelly M. - Thanks for your story. I relate well to it because mine is very similar. Today, if the mere thought of a drink comes into my mind, I just remember how miserable I was at the end of my drinking days, and I realize how insane it would be to pick up a drink. I thank God today because I now know and accept the fact that I'm alcoholic. Now I have a chance a building a good life, full of hapiness. I also know it feels to see the character defects up close and personal, now that the booze is out of my system. At six months sobriety, sometimes it's a little scary to see the real me! It's been a wonderful ride so far, and my life is getting better, one day at a time. I don't have to run anymore. I can face the issues and get help from the fellowship, the big book, and God. Thanks again for reminding me that I'm in recovery. Peace and God bless to all of us.
Member: Mike
Location: angola, Indiana
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 10:36 AM
Hello, are there any ladies that can email me at mblodgett@illuminatedimage.com ? Ive got some questions I would like to have answered.
Member: Tom R
Location: PA
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 11:08 AM
Hi this is my first time here.A month half ago i pick up after have 7 years under my belt be clean.Today is 15 days being clean .And the topic you have about change old routies is perfit for me i drive different way home so i dont past a liquior store.I have been going to a meeting everyday and it feels good to be at place were i have other people around me feeling same way i do .And at my age of 27 there's not many people my age that dont drink but thank you for all being there youre storys will help me another day ..
Member: Sarah
Location: DC
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 12:49 PM
Hi, I'm Sarah, Alcoholic/addict. New routines is an appropriate topic for me this morning. I cleaned out my car this weekend and found a bag of cleaning supplies, oven cleaner, Fantastik, etc and a bottle of rum and a glass. It reminded me that when I moved in April that I was shuttling alcohol, wine opener, and a glass between 2 aprtments as I was moving. Wow, unmanageable..Wow, alcoholic behavior! And, I didn't think I had a problem when I came to AA. I'm reminded on a daily basis on how much of my daily routine was controlled by using. My life is much simpler today. I thank God that I'm reminded on a daily basis the level of unmanageability in my life. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 12:51 PM
Hi, today has been a little rough my husband said I was acting like a A--. Last night I was looking for something and came upon a flask with some vodka in it. I was tempted for a moment but poured it out. I got online and read a note of encouragement from Opal, thanks. I need to get to the meeting tomorrow. I read today in a recovery book about living it one day at a time. I know yesterday I sure was trying to jump ahead of myself. I feel guilty a lot for not getting more taaks done during day but you know I have to heal myself first and then the tasks will get easier. Tom, I am glad you are here. Stay sober. Blessings to All.
Member: Molly Q.
Location: West Coast
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 02:06 PM
Karen P: Just last night I went to a meeting where the speaker was talking about how it's pretty common for people to get stuck on Step 3. But if you stay there forever and get frustrated, you'll end up drinking. He said he's seen a lot of people go out and die being stuck on that step. His suggestion was to keep plugging ahead and it will come in time. Remember, for a lot of people, the AA group or a sponsor is their higher power (at least at first). Good luck.
Member: daveP
Location: PA
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 02:09 PM
hi all, Davep alcholic. haven't posted for several days because i thought i might just sit back and "listen" for a bit, but boy is this topic a perfect one for me. for the past ten years (more like twenty if you ask the mrs.) , i do the same thing every day. i go through along arduous work day with almost nothing to eat. i come home, run a couple of miles and then shower....the stress relief after a long days work followed by a run and a shower feels wonderful. of course then i want to keep that warm glowing feeling , so i open up the bottle of absolut and drink down that slightly sweet liquid love. On an empty stomach it hits fast and , like magic, i am transformed into another state of mind .. the trouble of the day seeming to fade away into oblivion..........next thing i know i'm waking up with a pounding headache, ..my wife is pissed off at me for stuff that i can't remember saying, and there is a mess in the kitchen i can't remember making. back to work , with a brutal hangover, looking tired and ugly and miserable , and feeling poisoned until about 2pm, when the thoughts of that vodka high start resurfacing... it's so strange to me that a one or two hour buzz could be worth all that pain....but somehow i just keep doing it....when i read the topic for discussion this week it dawned on me how just changing my routine a little bit might keep me outa that bottle. two days ago i did my execise early. yesterday i ate small meals for breakfast and lunch and sat down to dinner with my wife and kids......we're talking 48 hours of craving free sobriety and counting ,, and feeling very good at the moment. that's all i have for now, hope to keep up this new pattern another day....it's amazing what you learn about yourself from just listening to others.....YOU KEEP COMING BACK cause you all are helping me a great deal.....hope i can reciprocate.
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 05:56 PM
For the first eight months of my sobriety, I attended at least one meeting every day, called my sponsor every day, and read from the Big Book and 12 & 12 every day. And I didn’t pick up the first drink. That was a huge change in my routine, as prior to that I drank every day and did little else. I worked the Steps to the best of my ability with guidance from my sponsor. Don’t drink and go to meetings. Go to Step Meetings, Big Book Meetings, Beginners Meetings, and maybe even a few Discussion Meetings and Speaker Meetings. Stick around for the greatest adventure of your life. Karen P – The action consistent with the decision in the Third Step is to write out the Fourth Step. The way to get unstuck from Three is to move forward to Four. The only step we must work perfectly is the first one. Joe – joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 07:36 PM
Molly Q. and Joe P.-- Thanks for your support. It helps to know that there are others who think it's okay to plow ahead to step 4 even though I'm still confused and incomplete regarding step 3. I took the plunge and shared in the Step 4 meeting that is going on in here, and I feel better today than I did yesterday. Here's hoping my sponsor can effectively guide me through what looks a little intimidating from this viewpoint. Thanks for being a place I can share.
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: November 13, 2002
Time: 09:10 PM
((Tom R)) Welcome back. You show great courage and strength to want to get it back, and you will. ((Lonnie)) I am so proud of you! That was a great temptation, especially after a fight when you are good and upset. Been there and done that. Glad you are still here with us! God Bless!
Member: Theresa P.
Location:
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 12:17 AM
Hi - I'm Theresa, an alcoholic. I am new to sobriety, but not to the program of AA. I was first introduced to the rooms 10 years ago. I was going through a rough spot and my Dad took me to my first meeting. After a few weeks,I was back to drinking. Now 10 years later at the age of 41, I have taken the first three steps and I want to keep going. I have been reading the BB and posts from online groups like this, but I haven't been back to a meeting. I've decided to go to my Dads old home group nearby on Monday. (He has moved back to the MidWest). I'm in a "sticky" situation. I bartend for a living and can't afford to quit my job right now. I've heard it advised not to go into bars, liquor stores, or even places that serve liquor. I'm wondering if anyone else here has tried to remain sober in a non-sober work environment? Thanks so much for helping me stay sober another 24. dos: 8/04/02 idontlooklikecher@yahoo.com
Member: A sober friend
Location:
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 12:03 PM
What worked for me going into that bar to earn a living when I was in early sobriety was a heartfelt prayer to a higher power every single time I went in there. I knew damn well I couldn't trust myself so I handed the whole issue of not drinking over to something I didn't understand a bit. It absoulutely worked. Good luck, and blessings.
Member: Marie
Location: No Ca.
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 12:20 PM
Hi Marie here - DaveP. I so relate to your routine - somehow in my sick little alcoholic mind I felt as if my running counteracted my drinking - because I was doing something good for myself I could now hit the bottle at 6:00 and drink till I go to bed. The next morning getting kids together, asking my husband to repeat things I had forgotten he said night before, and feeling like crap going about my daily routine, I too would start to forget how bad I felt getting up and start thinking about what I will eat with my wine for the evening. Every time I try to quit, about 7 pm I start feeling depressed, anxious and VERY out of sorts. I get quiet, don't do my usual stuff in the eve. like laundry, some cleaning, organizing for next day, computer stuff (all while sipping wine). I sort of veg. feeling very bad - I did that last night until about 9 pm, couldn't stand how I felt anymore, had 2 glasses of wine, started feeling great, started doing dishes, mopped the floor, and some computer work. Had some more wine, did 2 exersize videos, went to bed and feel like crap this morning. DaveP - you said you have had crave-free 48 hours?? So you didn't have any downs during that time - I hate this struggle. Hope everyone is doing well....Bette, FC - you out there?????
Member: Theresa
Location:
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 01:01 PM
Thank you sober friend. Thats exactly what I've been doing :) and you put it perfectly when you said "handed the whole issue of not drinking over to something I didn't understand a bit." and its worked so far. Thanks for listening and responding to me. It truly helps:)
Member: Brian G
Location: CA
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 03:30 PM
Anne Q of England, thank you for your supportive words. I am 5 days sober and counting. Have attended several meetings, 1 or 2 a day. I am feeling much better mentally and physically. It's amazing what a couple of days of sobriety can do but I've been here before and am still scared to death. Your right that it is going to take along time for my kids to trust me , the thing that hurts the most is that I can see in there eyes that they want to so very badly... but they have no reason to believe that this time will be any different. They can see I'm doing things different and not falling (so Far) into my old habits and I know they can tell I'm more commited than ever. Thanks to all for the shares, they are a great help in this minute by minute struggle.
Member: Marie M
Location: FL
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 03:32 PM
Very new to this, don't even really know how to go about starting but all these posts gave me some insight. Thanks
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 05:00 PM
A minute by minute struggle. What a good way to describe it, Brian G. My worst time is from 4pm(when I get home from work) to 7pm when the cravings finally mysteriously vanish for the evening. Still, it's a tough 3 hours! Today I let my daughter make me a cup of tea after work, and even though I am not much a tea drinker, having something warm to hold and sip on really has helped stem the craving. Whatever little coping techniques I can find help. Tomorrow though my co-workers are going out for dinner and drinks and even though I want very much to join them, I know I cannot trust myself in that environment yet. It really hurts to know I cannot be a part of that fun right now, but it's my own fault, and I just have to suck it up. Ditto for this years' Christmas party. That brings me to my question for all of you out there: any thoughts on how to get through the upcoming holidays without having a meltdown? Thanks as always for being there.
Member: DaveP
Location: PA
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 05:09 PM
daveP, alcoholic back again. well Marie, in No Ca., crave free is perhaps overstating it...i guess what i mean is "relatively" crave free. for me once i have eaten a decent meal , my craving for alcohol diminishes significantly.. i'm sure it has something to do with blood sugar levels. And i'm sure that the endorphins from exercise give you that little bit of a buzz that leads to craving the wine. basically you feel you want to keep that feeling going....i know I do.....Also, going to meetings goes a long way toward helping diminish the cravings. hard to drink after hearing some stories there. My conclusion: change your routine, eat your dinner BEFORE you drink any wine. Exercise early in the day, way before drinking any wine, go to meetings, and the cravings should at least be less than they are now.... I'm now at 72 hours, even though last night was hard. good luck....
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 06:02 PM
Opal thanks so much again. It has been a tough week. I dented our pickup last evening. I was not drinking and haven't had a drink in two and one half weeks. I went to Denton to shop. I should of found a AA meeting there to attend but instead went to a personal growth meeting. The guy that runs the center turned out to be very mean spirited. I was leaving the meeting feeling pretty confused and ran over a flower bed and hit a boulder that lodged in my truck. He came out and started yelling at me for hurting his flower bed and told me I would have to replace all his plants. I told him I would and started crying. Some other people at the meeting came out and were comforting me. He again started yelling at me to take control and help get the truck unstuck. I feel like such a weak person. I wonder why I place myself in such situations? I guess I like the Chaos. Not one of his plants were damaged as a result. I told him he was mean but showed such weakness. Anyway, I had to vent that. It seems like when I do try to change my routines I end up attracting really strange unbalanced situations into my life. I don't smoke but bought a pack of smokes, misty lights. I smoked 6 of them on the way home. Atleast I did not drink. My husband doesn't understand why I attract the people I do into my life. I know it is my alcoholic behavior and a lack of self worth.
Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 06:56 PM
Hi Everyone JohnA alcoholic/ Welcome Marie M from FL, Just keep comming back to this page and it will help u stay sober, Its just like a meeting, share if u like or just post a question. I will be 196 today. I use the net when I can not get to a meeting. I Like this site http://www.sober.org good luck....
Member: genie K
Location: New Jersey
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 09:30 PM
hi allI am an alcoholic-or think I am.Have posted before, and read all the posts.But, and this a large BUT.I have more problems thanjust my wine drinking.I am 79 years old- a mother of three, and grandmothyer of 8,dearly loved grandkids.II have a husband with Alzheimers Disease.Is in early stage,some days much better than others.He also drinks wine(the tawny port which is 18% alcohol.,plus several beers a day.For the last 2 weeks I have been trying to stop drinking.Make it for 3 or 4 days ,then have several. in evening-then repeat it all.I cannot go to meetings at night(don't drive after dark.There are two within 10 miles in daytime,,have to tell hubby havea drs. appt.-but how many ofthose can i have in a weekLOLI am also a Comp. gambler, but am working the steps completely on line.Bet free 90 days yesterday--have a great "on line" sponsor.There is no way to avoid others who drink---as all my children do(BUT SENSIBLY)I will be with daughter in PA for both holidays,then son from Ga will be here after Xmas, also other daughter ffrom No.Jersey.What I am looking for is "on line" here or another GA website.The 90 meetings in90 days ,don't drink or be with those who do is as insane as my drinking is.Any comments would be gratefully accepted.Or an Email. Kgene1923@aol.comBet that is longest post I have ever sharedLOLGood Night allGenie
Member: Leslie P.
Location: Colorado
Date: November 14, 2002
Time: 10:15 PM
The crutches have worked WONDERS. To anyone who doesn't think this works, trust me. If anything changes I'll let you know.
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 01:37 AM
Hey to all, Haven't posted in awhile, attend about 12 meetings a week, usually have commitments at most of my meetings, reading the B.B. and meeting with my sponser usually takes most of my day along with going to work. But it seems to be working for the time being for me. Oh yes, the urges and cravings are still there, but by attending lots of meetings, I get through another day. Right now, I'm trying to work on changing my routines. Quite hard, especially when your used to doing the same ol, day after day. I only have 12 days of sobriety so far, but its been my longest time yet. Still have lots of work to do, but I only concentrate on things for that moment, tomorrow is another day. Thanks to all for sharing, it helps me get a little further along the lines of sobriety. Keep coming back to all, don't drink and try and get your butt to a meeting! Have a good night all.
Member: Helen
Location: Australia
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 04:01 AM
Hi I am 4 months and one day sober and I did not go to my regular meeting tonight - it was raining and I don't drive - now I am feeling guilty about not going to a meeting. It feels a bit like the guilt I used to feel over drinking too much has been replaced by guilt over not going to a meeting. What is that all about ? I would normally ask my sponsor this stuff, but my first sponsor busted and I have a meeting next week with the woman who is going to sponsor me but she is out of town. On that note - has anyone else had an experience with their sponsor busting ? I would really like some advice about that as I seem to be having doubts about the program because of it.
Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt, Mi
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 04:54 AM
Bob here, alcoholic. If you must go into a place where drinks are served and it bothers you perhaps you should read page 101-102 of the Big Book. Another thing to consider...what if all Drs' and nurses had to quit because they are around drugs? Why arer you there? Be honest. You can answer your own questions. I had booze in my house for many years after getting sober. I used it in trying to help drunks. Did I want it? NOPE I prefer to live happy joyous and free. You can too "IF YOU WANT TO" God Bless all of you
Member: Thomas M.
Location: S. Fla
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 05:13 AM
Thomas here recovering alkie: John A thanks for the site info. Hadn't seen that one before. Lonnie S., screw him and his plants, find a group with a facilitator whose not such a jerk. Good luck to all on a great sober 24.
Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 07:20 AM
HELEN - Australia - you talk aboutyour sponsor "busting". Am not familarwith term. Am assuming you mean - drinking - slipping. Have not experienced this with my own sponsor, but have been in halls a few 24 hrs. & listened to many whose sponsors have. Sure can be upsetting, but you must realize she is also an alcoholic in recovery just lke the rest of us. My sponsor gave me a geat gift early on by teaching me to lean on the Program. not her, to keep me sober. She also insisted I get list of other women in the Program I could call in her absence. Pleast don't doubt the Progranm - it works just fine if you work it. Keep it simple - don't drink - go to meetings -get a sponsor (preferably one with some years of good sobriety) - ask for help. Will say a prayer for your sponsor.
Member: Robin A
Location: FL rjamato@hotmail.com
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 08:35 AM
Leslie P: For those who are currently struggling with total abstinence (the only real way this works) please don't expound here on the virtue of using those alcoholic crutches. Thats not helping them a bit and you just may put the thought into someone's brain that "a little here, a little there" will help them through the beginning tough spots and that just may lead them to a major drunk where either themselves or someone else ends up dead. Thats not the way of AA. There are other sites available for that...but, I for one will not list them as I hate to see one who is trying so hard to "get this" go back out there to try some "controlled drinking" It doesn't work. If it works for you, fine. Have at it-we will still be here when you need us. All one needs is a desire to STOP drinking.
Member: Genie K
Location: NJ
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 12:40 PM
Hi all, Genie an alcoholic---just back to correct my last post and add a little.Imeant looking for other "on line AA" site,,not GA.I worked as an Emergency room nurse for 20 years-yep access to drugs was there,.There is tight control-but know of several nurses who had addictions to Narc.--but thepenalty was loss of job, and alsotheir RN license for years! Reading posts here and AA literature for now is my hope for the nudge to stop drinking--along with, and most imprtant my HP and the Serenity prayer,Have a good day all, Genie
Member: one day at a time
Location: from the heart
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 01:18 PM
Please Don't drink "its not worth it"PLAIN and SIMPLE! Next time the urge hits remember "Its not worth it" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!read a(or the) book,call a friend, take a walk, go to a meeting,commit yourself for rehab, just don't do it..........plain and simple......the choice is yours....Make the right choice,don't drink.
Member: Lonnie S
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 01:58 PM
Thanks for the support Thomas. I take things so personal. I will find another group to attend. That one was definately not a match. Take care everyone and stay sober. Be kind to yourselves.
Member: Babette R
Location: Israel
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 03:40 PM
Babette here, alcoholic. I'm sober 9 months and still have an occasional craving for a drink or drug. I usually call my sponsor or someone else in the program, read the literature and pray. It helps and the feeling passes. ((Kathy P))I so much identify with your feelings of irritability and blues. My early days in sobriety were like that, coming in waves. It was like a roller coaster and I feared it would always be like that. As time went on the feelings leveled out and while I still got depressed or irritated, it wasn't so extreme. So hang in there it does get better. ((Rich R)) Where in the Middle East are you? I'm in Israel and we have meetings every day--small ones but at least they're there.. There is Loners International which you can write letters to other alcoholics who are also isolated. It helps a lot. I do it because I have a hearing problem and don't always hear what is said at meetings. Contact the GSO in NY and they'll send you the information.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 04:37 PM
I'm chris-- an Alcoholic/addict....Changing routines...Today I am learning to quit being depressed and losing hope when I have failed at bieng the kind of person I "think" I shoud be...i.e. Not doing the Third step "PERFECTLY" /WHen this would happen in the past, I would beat myself up and say to myself that I woud NEVER change and NEver get any better..ALl that did was cause me to use and leave me n the problem rather than the solution...Today , I am finally learning to just continue working my program ( ie. doing my meditations, going to meetings, calling my sponsor, etc.), and wait until the miracle happens. I am learning not to beat my self up when I fail...and to trust that the promises will come true if I work for them ...I just keep plugging and things seem to work out. This is really a new routine for me, and it sure makes life better...thanks for letting me share today.,
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 05:04 PM
I called my sponsor and she said I am making things to difficult. Keep it simple. I found a AA group in Denton so now I have no excuses. I can either go in one direction to a meeting or another. I went over step one and wrote down the reasons that led me to drink on the night of my last binge, how I felt& what I got out of it. It was a good exercise.
Member:
Location:
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 06:35 PM
Lonnie, are you in Texas? One of our guys here, the guru of http's lives in Denton!
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 08:46 PM
Yes, I am in Texas. I live about 45 minutes NW of Denton.
Member: hjhjhj
Location:
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 09:16 PM
hhhhhhhhhj
Member:
Location:
Date: November 15, 2002
Time: 10:41 PM
Lonnie, go to the Coffee Pot page and post that you go to meetings in Denton. Maybe you'll be able to hook up with our site http guru! Good sobriety and I'm sure a good dude to meet.
Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 01:36 PM
Hi to all. Cecilia:alcholic here. I'm struggling to remain sober today. My guilt and anger are pulling at me. I also have a little devil inside me that keeps saying "you can have a drink it won't hurt you. just one drink." I'm doing my best to "urge surf" and hope it will pass soon. Anyway happy sober day to all. C
Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 02:28 PM
HI!Im Marv,alcoholic.Thanks for helping me stay sober today! The 24 Hrs.A Day meditation book has a great thought for today: "When any group of people are together seeking help,Gods power and spirit are there to inspire them." By sharing our experience,strength and hope we can find a better way of life! Best of wishes to all who shared. Years ago I was told when I got to AA, to be an old-timer,all thats required is: Don"t drink,don"t die and keep coming to meetings!! Hugs to ((all)),hang in there,there IS a way out!!
Member: Kathy
Location: Northeast
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 04:00 PM
Techs Where are rest of posts?
Member: zz
Location:
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 06:19 PM
zz
Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 06:32 PM
JohnA here, Cecilia D for Chapel Hill, NC. Hang on on there, this will pass, get on your phone and share it with some one from a meeting, day or night or go for a bath,go out for a walk but take no money. keep sharing ..JohnA
Member:
Location:
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 08:44 PM
Be Good To You Be Yourself -- Truthfully Accept Yourself -- Gracefully Value Yourself -- Joyfully Forgive Yourself -- Completely Treat Yourself -- Generously Balance Yourself -- Harmoniously Bless Yourself -- Abundantly Trust Yourself -- Confidently Love Yourself -- Wholeheartedly Empower Yourself -- Prayerfully Give Yourself -- Enthusiastically Express Yourself -- Radiantly -- Author Unknown
Member: Claire L.
Location: Aix en Provence
Date: November 16, 2002
Time: 09:16 PM
Je voudrais dire que les postes pour l'attitude "prendre les "crutches"" sont plus bien que vous santez. Prend la difference pour l'alcool quand tous les choix sont dans ta geule! C'est simple pour dire que une vasse de vin est la vie pour changer la vie, mais pas mal pour la sante.
Member: Rick R.
Location: U.A.E.
Date: November 17, 2002
Time: 12:50 AM
Hi, everybody Rick R. (alcoholic) in the Middle East. Abu Dhabi, the capital of the United Arab Emirates. We're on the backside (east) of Saudi Arabia. I'm 10 time zones ahead of the US time (GMT +4), so for me, it is Sunday morning, though for you still Saturday night. Before you gasp and say, "Oh what a terrible place to be..." let me say I chose my country well. It is the safest place in the middle east. I suspect I am safer here than many of you might be in cities back stateside. Okay, to the topic. I have been sober since Friday morning, something over 48 hours. Of course, I am in serious withdrawl, but I keep telling myself I am feeling better and AM better than coming in with the shakes or still under the influence. And I do feel better. Praise the Lord. (If I'm allowed to say that here) I've discovered there are AA meetings here in town. They're across town, at the Anglican church and meet 3 times a week, Sat, Mon, and Wed, following our work week (Sat-Wed). They're at a terrible time for my body clock, but I guess new routines are in order. So Wed night will be my first meeting. Will be the first sober weekend I have spent in, I can't remember how long. Boy, what a total mind-shift I'm facing, but I'm glad of it. I have the mother of all headaches, but at night I steadfastly refuse to take anything at all, not even Tylenol PM. I will do it straight, clean and sober or not at all. It's funny. I had a sister who died last spring. She was a multiple addict and post-polio syndrome as well. She was a wreck. Died of a massive heart attack after decades of self-abuse. She was 51. The irony of this is that she had all the literature from AA. I saw it all when I home on leave in Sept/Oct. Had I known I would need it, I could have taken any or all. Hindsight, foresight, farsight. Time to go. Pray for me.
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 17, 2002
Time: 01:45 AM
Rick R., Congratulations on 48 hours without a drink! You made it past the worst part. You may be able to get some AA literature at the meeting on Wednesday. I had a best friend in High School that was from Saudi Arabia. Wish I had kept in touch with her. I'll say a prayer for you and take it one day at a time.... Kelly
Member: Thomas M.
Location: S. Fla
Date: November 17, 2002
Time: 05:44 AM
Hang in there Rick and Cecilia, well said Claire and a happy and sober 24 to everyone.
Member: Cindy K
Location:
Date: November 17, 2002
Time: 08:14 AM
This is my first time to this site. I desperately need your support. I know I am an alcoholic -- I just don't know how to stop drinking. That sounds idiotic...you just don't lift the drink to your mouth...but I have tried so many times to stop, and I don't understand why I can't. The longest I've made it sober was about 3 weeks -- I was so proud of myself -- it felt like 3 years...but it was so easy to slide right back into the old routine. I'm so discouraged right now and so tired of feeling this way. I don't want to do this any more!!! Someone please give me hope. I feel so STUCK.
Member: anonymous alcoholic (DOS 12/12/90)
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: November 17, 2002
Time: 08:47 AM
Hi. Good topic. I was just saying yesterday that I didn't like change when I first joined the program. Truth is I still don't like change. I prefer things to stay the same, even if things aren't exactly working! I know that sounds dumb, but that the way my mind works. The familiar is better than the new/unknown for me. Thanks for letting me share. (p.s. it's a good thing I discovered a higher power in this program. this higher power has been doing for me what i could not - or would not - do for myself for almost 12 years. and for that i am eternally grateful)