Member: Laurie
Location: Wonderful Canada
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 08:16 AM

Comments

I can't say that I ever feel lonely, but then again too my not drinking isn't having an impact on my social life as I didn't really have one before I quit drinking and with two pre-teens in the house it is never empty. This is also day 15 for me so maybe it hasn't been long enough. My friends don't drink, unlike me. I drank at home and very rarely drank outside of the house to help protect my "image". I have an addiction that very few people know about except for those who live with me as they were about the only ones who saw it. So I guess with not drinking I have taken away my isolation as I am more willing to go out and don't dread people coming over and interfering with my drinking time. To sum this up I guess I was lonely when I was drinking. To everyone have a great day and enjoy it.


Member: Alex G
Location: Wisconsin
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 09:17 AM

Comments

Alex - Alcoholic. When I was first in recovery, I was sitting there with no friends. I managed a men's softball team, and I had to say good-bye to those guys. I soon felt like my life was going to be a one meeting after another, till someone told me about a recovering softball league. I was able to do that, but it always seemed somethng was missing. It wasn't the game, it was those friendships, I thought I had. I was running wild, and dated all kinds of women. I was having sex with these ladies on a regular basis. It was like I was a kid in a candy store. I found that I was looking for something that I needed. I wasn't very happy. Then something happen to me. I was put in a position at work, where I had to work with all these guys. 2 of these guys, are in recovery. I started to hang with these guys, and all of a sudden the need to date, and the need to be with women stopped. I was lonely, and found what I needed to be whole. I need men relationships. Not just to talk sports and cars, but to share gut level feelings. I have now a group of male friends, and we are all close, and I love then all. It's kind of funny, because when we get together, we talk about relationships and feelings we are having with our families. I learned so much about myself. It is wonderful!! Since all that time, I was running around, I met someone, and am now married. Sometimes at times I don't like male friends. When my wife and I have an argument and I tell them, there is always something that I am doing wrong....Can you beleive that?....*smile* I am no longer lonely, because now I have the fellowship of AA. Thank you for being here.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 11:10 AM

Comments

http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/


Member: Buddy S.
Location: near New Orleans
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 11:47 AM

Comments

Buddy, an alcoholic. It is my experience that I am lonliest when I am not in recovery. I have not surrounded myself with addicts and alcoholics as was the case when I first entered the program many years ago. During my extended relapse, I simply rotated freinds with the hope that all would consider me simply a good time kind of guy and none would know the serious weirdness that was going on with me. By rotating people through my drinking life, I hoped that none would compare notes and realize that every night parties were the rule rather than the exception. Didn't work. I'm tired of being everyone's "Drinking Buddy" and am determined not to go back there today. I look forward to seeing all of my freinds and family at the same time without the fear that someone will snitch on me. Eight days today. "The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades." Keep comming back.


Member: Bobby A
Location: Texas
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 12:12 PM

Comments

Im Bobby Im an alcoholic.Ive always been some what of a loner with the exception of high school when I worked at being popular.However Ive always felt like an outsider which the longer I stay sober the more Im finding that this is a common thread among us.My lonliest times were the"day after" when I was mired in remorse and knew that I was in something I could not get out of.It was like being in hell:utterly without God.Like laurie(above) I did my drinking at home or alone where ever I might be and no one but my family knew that I had a major problem.At my turning point I realized how freindless and alone I really was.I still enjoy being by myself in some of lifes activities because I enjoy my privacy but have come to realize that I need to share the gifts that God has given me whether it be my sobriety or something else.however its not humanly possible to do it continually because Im not able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.The journey is the goal! Love to all


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 01:13 PM

Comments

Fending off loneliness, great topic. I am a retread with 5+ years now, Staying Cyber has been a great help in returning to the A.A. program. When I am unsure, when I am lonely I can turn on my computer, come to Staying Cyber ... I get the Experience, Strength and Hope from all who share. I don't feel unsure, I don't feel lonely ... I feel Hope, I feel Strength and I feel there are other whom share some of the same experience. Thanks one and all for helping me to have another day sober.


Member: Karen C
Location: MI
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 01:26 PM

Comments

I am Karen, an alcoholic. First, let me thank you for the link to the Big Book. I don't have one yet, but am planning to buy one with my first paycheck. Lonliness--I have been lonely in a room full of people, and lonely alone. I, like Laurie and Bobby was a "home alone" drinker. I liked being alone. I was in to self isolation, and perfectly fine with that. Interestingly enough, today being my 5th sober day, I am finding myself with so much more energy! I find myself going to my sister's much more, and the fear of a f2f meeting is lifting. This week I will actually get to one. Thank you all for your support. This sobriety is feeling pretty good.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 03:22 PM

Comments

Fending off Loneliness. A very god topic for me. As stated in previous, in am in a current situation whereby only the grace of God can help me one day at a time. I am currently working a away from home in a remote area in Canada. The Labrador Straits to be exact. The only time I get to visit my family is long week-ends, Christmas, Easter and summer holidays. Couple that issue with the fact that my sponsor is via telephone & Internet, & I am currently in early sobriety (almost 3 months to be exact), one could say that there is cause for loneliness. As an alcoholic, however, I have to separate loneliness from self-pity. Loneliness is something that all humans experience and is a common human emotion. Self-pity, however, is a form of selfishness and is a luxury that I cannot afford. I am taking this work experience away from home one day at a time and try to ask for God's will for me. It is not an easy set of circumstances, but I know that God has me up here for a reason. I probably would suspect that one of the reasons is to force me to be rigorous about working this program, something I didn't do the first 15 years I was sober in this program. In short, the sobriety I had before I started slipping several years ago was built on "the don't drink & go to meeting routine", not the 12 steps. I didn't have my house built on a firm foundation and the time came when this disease overtook me & I drank again. I am not saying that all is well, for I still have my days, but I must admit, after nearing the completion of my first 5th step, the worldly clamors as discussed in Bill's story on page 12 have largely disappeared. The selfishness is slowly being removed one day at a time, the root of my problems. I also have another reason to deal with self-pity. I met this person about 15 years ago in AA & we became good friends. He was recently found dead in his apartment after 15 or years of being in & out of this program. In short, this disease wants me dead too!!! I have to deal with self-pity, a form of selfishness, one day at a time, through the steps. Every day is not perfect but I try to deal with the cards that I am given one day a time.


Member: Jo
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 04:35 PM

Comments

Jo here....6 days. =) Alcoholism is a very lonely place. I'm glad I don't have to be there today.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 05:03 PM

Comments

Hi, Deb here alcoholic, going on almost 2 days. I feel a little better, but it is tommorrow that I don,t want to come, I am home alone all day because I don,t have a job. Thank-you everyone for writing to me yesterday, it really meant alot.


Member: Vee
Location: Midwest
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 06:48 PM

Comments

Vee here--sober 5 months. First AA meeting I went to I walked out with 8 women's phone numbers. I also gave mine. I didn't use the numbers but they sure used mine! Later I made it a project to make a call-a-day. 7 days. 7 calls, 7 women said basically I'm sure glad you called; I really needed to talk. Now I am able to call when I'm lonely and I need to and it's no longer a chore. Sometimes I do need solitude to meditate, listen to the wind, etc., and life offers me plenty of that. I'm so grateful for this site. It's there for me when I don't have the guts to wake someone up with a phonecall in the wee small hours.


Member: Jo Anne D.
Location: Orlando,Fl.
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 07:15 PM

Comments

Hello my name is Jo Anne and I am an Alcoholic My whole family drinks. They call it social drinking. But, I want to have friends and not isolate as much as I do. The issue loneliness is a very important subject to me. I try to get to 2 meetings in the Central Florida area but I am to shy to ask for rides to and from meetings? I wish the chairman at my home meeting would announce that Jo Anne needs rides to/from meetings and if anyone can give her them she'd be grateful. I have to get to AA meetings in the Central Florida area if anyone out there can help me get the rides to and from the meetings I will be a friend forever....I wish that I wasn't so shy and could fellowship more at AA meetings and call more people at the meetings. It is really scarey since I have always been so isolated all my life! I will stay intouch and hope/pray to get rides to and from 2 AA meetings each week in the Central Florida area and fellowship more. Keep having AA meetings online too. take it easy Jo Anne a Central Florida AA new member.


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 07:18 PM

Comments

Ann - alcoholic. Deb I'm so glad you came back here to tell us how your doing. Just think if you don't pick up another drink you don't have to have another hangover. My hangovers used to last for 3 days. Awful stuff to go thru. 2 days is awesome - the days will add up one day at a time. The above posts are worth reading - people can stay stober even under adverse circumstances ( Pat from Labrador Straits - (I'm going to have to look it up on the map) an inspiration. I'm getting ready to go to a meeting but please post back and let us know how your doing. Jo - your right alcoholism is very lonely. I didn't want to be with anybody in the end and I doubt anyone was thrilled to be with me.6 days is great. Keep coming.


Member: Jen C
Location: AZ
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 07:43 PM

Comments

Hey everyone. This is the end of day 2 for me. Iím definitely feeling the loneliness right now. After Friday night, the one person that cares about me told me not to talk to her. Being drunk, I told her that I didnít want to talk to her either, ever. I want to push her away until I get better. I donít want to hurt her if I donít have to but at the same time I wish she were here to help me through this. So I havenít wanted to drink for these two days because of that. I feel really guilty about what I said but I think it was the right thing to do. Iím going to get the courage to go to a f2f meeting tonight (right after softball) and start on this lifelong journey of sobriety that I so much want and need right now. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jason C
Location: Virginia
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 08:02 PM

Comments

My name is Jason, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm 22 and joined AA two days ago. I've always struggled with controlling my drinking, but always thought that everyone drinks in college, and that once I left school I'd stop. I've been dating a girl who is in the program for the last 6 months and we've had a wonderful relationship and are totally in love. However my drinking has always been a problem. After a few weeks of dating we decided that I should be limited to 10 drinks a night. Needless to say this was ridiculous and after 8 drinks I would loose count anyways. Then we tried 4. I tried to stay under 4, but every time I got to 4, Iíd always tell myself just one more, then one more after that. Eventually she saw me have more, and we had a long talk and decided that the limit was a bad idea, and that I needed to control my own drinking and if I really loved her Iíd keep it reasonable. School ended shortly after this, and I did keep it reasonable up till this past Thursday. My co-workers from my new job and I went out to a bar across the street from my home, and I remember thinking that I should at least keep pace with them to be polite. Well, I donít remember much of the evening. My girlfriend came over later that night and found me laying on my living room floor, slurring my words and making no sense. She tried to leave, but I got in my car and told her if she left Iíd follow her no matter how drunk I was. After talking to her sponsor for a while she decided to stay on the couch if I went to bed. I did and the next morning I told her that I had a problem and wanted help. She agreed and I went to my first meeting that night. She is afraid, that I am in the program only for her and that I donít truly believe that Iím alcoholic. We had a talk today and she wants us to have no contact until Iím sure that Iím alcoholic and Iím in the program. This is a problem for me, because she is the person I want to talk to most about this. The meetings are good and I enjoy listening however Iím reluctant to tell my story to a complete stranger. Part of me feels, that she is abandoning me when I need her most.


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 09:14 PM

Comments

I just want to Congratulate EVERYBODY who did not drink today. Today is all we've got and all we need.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 09:45 PM

Comments

Thanks Miranda, have a good evening


Member: Beth H.
Location: Ontario
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 09:54 PM

Comments

A very good evening to all! I just came back from my first face-to-face meeting, and I am feeling a bit keyed up. Interesting that the topic is loneliness - I thought I drank to ease my social anxieties and become less lonely. Where did I end up? Lonelier than ever, because people stopped inviting me places. No one wants a disgusting drunk to ruin the party, right? But now tonight, I feel like I've reconnected with the rest of the world. But by a different channel this time. It was so surreal to listen to all these radically different people saying things that have been in my mind for so long. I'm so glad I finally went. Good coffee too! :) So, because I've finally taken that step, I feel like I can start counting today. Day One. Not just abstinent, but on the path to sobriety. Thank you all, and I definitely will keep coming back!


Member: Bobby A
Location: Texas
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 10:14 PM

Comments

Jo Anne D in Orlando fla. Do you know the serenity prayer?He will grant you courage if you ask Him for it.


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: September 15, 2002
Time: 10:43 PM

Comments

Ann-alcoholic - Jo-anne you are going to have to let the chairman know what you need. Hopefully people will pull thru for you. The chairperson cannot read your mind. Jen C. - hopefully you can get a sponser soon. Jason - I think your girlfriend needs to take care of herself. She's still early in sobriety. No one can call you an alcoholic but you because your the one that has to believe it.(other people can tell though-and people have gotten sober because people that cared about them intervened). A lot of people who try to get sober for someone else don't have much success BUT I have seen people come in thru the court system and get sober or start coming in the halls because of people in their life and stick around for themselves. I think anyway you get in the door is good. When you go to a meeting try hooking up with some guys. All you really have to do at first is listen and try to identify not compare. Fending off lonliness - something I'm not being very vigilant about lately. I've read someone in recovery say - "What does and alcoholic do when their lonely - they isolate." In the past couple years I've had a couple of bad experiences with friends(?) in and out of the program. My problem is I form this committee in my mind that says - well all my experiences are going to be the like that. Even as I wrote that I realized how irrational I can be. Well I went to a meeting tonight and talked to someone I used to know and had to be reminded that it's "principles before personalities." Do I want to be right or do I want peace? I want peace and I don't want to be lonely. I enjoy meeting all of you thru this site. Alex - the same thing happens in my sober life today. If I have a problem - I'm always asked what did I have to do with it? Actually I always ask myself that - I learned that in the 4th step. I enjoy your posts. Buddy, Laurie, Karen and Jo your sharing your early sobriety helps me to "remember when." Thank you. Sarah I guess I'm a retread too with almost 5 years. Deb - can you make a plan for tomorrow? If your not going to a meeting can you call AA in your area? Vermont is beautiful esp. around this time of year- can you go for a walk, a ride, the library, the grocery store? Anywhere you can be safe. My suggestions might sound ridiculous but I'm picturing you home alone all day and I'm worried about you. Things look bleak right now but they won't always. No matter what please don't drink.


Member: Stacy E
Location: Kentucky
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 12:22 AM

Comments

Hi Everybody, Stacy here, alcoholic. I posted a "thank you" to Greg F., Bill P., and Mark D. late Saturday night, but I'm going to say it again in case you didn't get a chance to see it. I took your advice and went to my first open discussion meeting yesterday. When it came time for me to introduce myself, I had white knuckles, a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I actually had to say it out loud for the first time. "Alcoholic." Very humbling. I had known it for some time, but had never used that word to describe myself. It was really powerful and really scary, but I came away with a sense of release. I had finally jumped the first hurdle. I, like several who have posted today was a solitary "closet drinker" and that is a very lonely place to be. At the meeting last night I even found myself thinking that maybe I didn't need to be there because I wasn't the type of drinker that they had been. I was never the life of the party; I had never lost a job, been in jail, stolen anything or "hit rock bottom." But, I'm smart enough to know that that was just the disease talking. An alcoholic is an alcoholic no matter how he chooses to drink. I wasted years of my life and I decided to stop drinking mainly BECAUSE I was so lonely. I could never stay at a bar or a party because after one or two drinks I had to rush home to "finish it up" so that no one would see me drunk. I'm so glad that now I can be around people and not have to hurry home to drink. Things can only get better from here. Deb, don't give up, girlfriend! I said this before, but I'll say it again too- I think it was Winston Churchill who said "A single sunbeam can drive away many shadows." Thanks to all of you for being my sunbeam. So glad I found you! Stacy.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 12:30 AM

Comments

I think loneliness is key to everyone's shame of alcoholism. Perchance that this is the true key, I will stray no further than to find a friend in myself, whom with I can not flounder away from the program. Perhaps there is someone out there who is trying to make a friend with themself? Not to intervene, but this is the only way NOT to drink. A little intervention and a good sponsor will put all cross-examiners to shame. Calculating your risk factor for solitary mood is like counting the beans in a pot; put your faith to work!


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont. USA
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 06:36 AM

Comments

Morning all, It's a funny thing but I'm not near as lonely now as when I was drinking. Stacy, that's what I used to do - go home from parties early so I could drink more and not have to worry about driving drunk (although I certainly did that too). Or I'd turn down invitations because I didn't want to drink too much where people would see, or turn down invitations because I knew there wouldn't be enough alcohol there or the type of alcohol I preferred. I mostly used to drink at home and after my son was in bed I'd drink a lot more and rail and curse at any God there was. "Why are you punishing me this way? " I'd say, "Why do I have to be so alone, is it some kind of lesson I'm supposed to be learning?" Well what I couldn't see was that the liquor was making me lonely, I was doing it to myself by drinking myself into a stupor every night, by HAVING to drink myself into a stupor every single night. Some nights I'd swear I'd stop at one, then it would be two and after two I'd say the hell with it and have another. Some nights I'd be driving home from work and be out of liquor at home and I'd not stop and get more, I'd swear to myself that night I wasn't going to drink. Well round about eight I'd find myself telling my son I was just going to run down to the store and get a pack of cigarettes and there I'd be - buying a bottle of wine that I don't even like just because I had to have something. My whole life revolved around alcohol and I wondered why I was lonely. Nowadays if I get lonely I call somebody or write somebody or clean the refrigerator or dig in the garden or something like that but it's a funny thing that being alone doesn't feel lonely anymore.


Member: Pat. H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:07 AM

Comments

Jason: I read your story & it reminded me of someone who I knew in the program many years ago. His Name was Frank & he is dead now. He came to AA & sobered up in the hope of getting his family back. When that didn't happen, He became resentful & decided to go back out. He ended up in & out of this program & eventually died of an alcohol abuse-related illness. My point being is this. I don't really care why you came to AA, but if you are going to stay, stay for yourself. I you are doubtful as to whether yo are an alcoholic, I would suggest several things. First, please read the big book, chapter 3. If you don't have a copy it is online at; http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/index.html Secondly, I have taken the liberty of passing on to you a portion of the Big Book (AA's main text) Chapter 3, as is relates to the uncertainty of being an alcoholic. "We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition." Forgive me for sounding cruel, but the Big Book said this, not me. Having said this, however, I do hope that if you are seriously alcoholic, you don't have to go to that extreme to diagnose yourself, but if you do, you do. Please keep in mind several things. I was told many years ago in AA that AA is not for the Alcoholic who needs it, it is for those who want it. Chapter 5 states" If you want what we have & are willing to go to any length..." Finally, if you are alcoholic & choose not to do something about it, there are a number of adverse possibilities: a. If you are lucky, just plain unhappiness for the rest of your life; b. Jail / Prison c. Mental Institution/Asylum d. Hospital E. Death. Think about it. Not very good choices are they. However, those are the options for the practicing alcoholic who doesn't stop.


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:09 AM

Comments

Ann - alcoholic. Deb I hope your feeling better today. Hang in there. Hope your all doing well.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 09:32 AM

Comments

Bill P. here, alcoholic. Just a note to express my gratitude for all of you in the program. I could not have stayed sober for four months without you. I needed all of you, and God, to let the healing begin. Peace and God Bless.


Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 09:55 AM

Comments

Hi all, My name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. Loneliness -- what a topic. Lonliness is what brought me to AA. When I was drinking I had no friends, my family feared and hated me and I feared and hated me. In that first meeting, (4/13/80), God raised my hand and made my voice say "My name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic". Those people quickly filled my little blue book with the names and numbers of the most wonderful friends in the world. I have not been lonly since that day. Jo Anne D. - keep up the good work. If you'ld like to email jackh@netpass.com I might know of some helpfull AA ladies in your part of town. Love to all, and a happy 24 Jack


Member: Jo
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 09:57 AM

Comments

Jo here.....one week today!!!! Thanks everyone for being here...=)


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 10:26 AM

Comments

My drinking was a symptom of mental and spiritual Dis-Ease. Alcoholism led me to some dark pathetic states of mind. I wanted to stop drinking, but I still wanted to do it alone. My disease told me I did not want or need your help. When I came to AA, I was totally insane and it was only the pain of my alcoholism, which made me look at the steps with an open mind. I either had to die or rely on you. This is a learning process, which for me requires practice. Once I finally learned to be honest with one of you (my sponsor), I started liking you and myself. Today as a result of practicing the 12 steps daily, and with your help, I never feel alone. I have a relationship with always-present God.


Member: Jason C
Location: VA
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 12:24 PM

Comments

Thank you, Pat and Ann for your advice. I know I have a problem and I can't fix it by myself. I just hope I have a strong higher power, cause I feel pretty weak. Thanks all.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 12:31 PM

Comments

Patricia - I am an alcoholic. This is my first attempt at looking for help anywhere. Yet, I have known I am an alcoholic for years. I have tried quitting on my own, but I can't do it. I am like some of you above, I love to be alone so that I can drink, and not be bothered. I'm afraid for my children, my marriage, and myself. My husband knows, he's the only other person I have outright admitted it to. But I know others in my life know, but it's not talked about. Today is the beginning, please pray for me. I haven't looked at the book yet, but am heading there now. Thank you for listening.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 12:48 PM

Comments

To Jason. I will be praying for you. Please consider reading every day the promises to the end of the chapter. Also, you may want to consider praying for a male who is working the program to come into your life (AA member that is) who is working the 12 steps and have the 12 steps carved into their life. To Craig L. I really enjoyed your comments..especially the comments about how your drinking was a symptom of mental and spiritual Dis-Ease. That was one of the first comments my sponsor told me. God Bless you all & have a sober day.


Member: Todd T.
Location:
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 01:28 PM

Comments

To Patricia above...get thee to a meeting! Hang in there. Only five days for me, but I've got to start somewhere. Thankfully I'm in a supportive program with great people, and I'm happy to be sober today.


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 01:32 PM

Comments

(Stacy E) Congratulations on going to your first face to face meeting! It took a lot of guts to do that. Glad to hear that you found release in the admission. That means your ego is not getting in the way. Don't make the mistake of comparing stories over identifying with the feelings that the people who speak express. Like you, I never lost a job, got put in jail-- but I did come very close to losing my job, wife, son, house, etc. My rock bottom was at the bottom of a hill that I had fallen down, minutes from where I worked at 9AM on a work day. I could have easily been picked up any number of times for DUI. But before I hit that low I had been a closet drinker for about 3 years. Progression is very real. I can look back now and see how the drinking escalated. I even knew at the time when I was crossing over to a different kind of drinking; drinking in the morning; planning my drinking; hiding my stash---but the compuslion to keep it up was too stong to overcome. I ended up needing that"gift of desperation" to stop. I honestly don't know how people who don't reach that definable moment acheive the humility and the resolve to stop. But if you keep going to meetings and really listen you'll get a story here and a phrase there that strikes you deep to your soul in recognition. These are the tools that will help you. Good luck.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 02:35 PM

Comments

very alone and lonely!!??


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 03:40 PM

Comments

Hey all. Rhonda here. It has been a few days since I last posted. I have been reading your posts daily. Today is day number 22 for me. I just came home from the hospital a few minutes ago. I had surgery to repair a broken collar bone. The doctor put a pin to replace part of the bone. I am in a lot of pain right now so I am going to finish this post. Congrats to everyone for another sober day.


Member: Sara K.
Location: SoCal
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 04:00 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm here, I just want to learn control, not completely cut myself off. That's possible isn't it?


Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 04:57 PM

Comments

((Sara K.)) Yes it is possible to control your drinking if you are a normal drinker. If you are an alcoholic it is not possible. If you are an alcoholic you must forever shatter the illusion that you can ever drink normally again....even just one, or just beer, or just on the weekends. BTW, normal drinkers usually don't worry about controlling their drinking. The best way to answer the question of, "Am I an alcoholic or just a heavy drinker?" is to go to 90 meetings in 90 days, see what you learn and THEN ask yourself if you are an alcoholic. Only you can answer that question. I had lots of people, my wife included, trying to convince me I was NOT an alcoholic and that I did NOT need AA. When I told them just how much I drank, the crazy sh!t I did, that I counted the hours tell the next drink, that my hands shook in the morning, etc.... they stopped arguing with me. ((Jason)) tough call. You HAVE to want sobrity for yourself. Your girlfriend is concerned you will do it for her. If you do it for her you will likely fail. She does not want to see that happen. She can't proceed until you have answered the question, "Am I an alcoholic?", and you have decided what to do for yourself. I will pray you find your answer. Peace.


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 05:15 PM

Comments

Hi SaraK. Had to respond to your post as I feel the same way. I did not drink for a week then I started again. I usually drink every evening when I am watching TV (alone), that is if I am not going out somewhere. I never drink straight alcohol always mixed (usually coke) and lots of crushed ice. I have so far managed to have three or four drinks (not large amounts of alcohol) but no more than that and then I put the bottle away. This has been working for me and I do not have a hangover or any bad feelings the next morning. I have asked the same question as you. Is this possible!! Several good friends on this site (you know who you are) have suggested that I am deluding my self (and sometimes I wonder if I am). I was asked the question about going to a bar and trying controlled drinking and although I do not go to many bars (I am a "home alone" drinker) as KarenC describes it. When I have been in a bar I can have one drink and go home but I have to be honest and say that I always know I have a drink a home if I want it. One thing I am sure of I do have a problem or I wouldn't be here. Can you relate? What do you think? I did post on Saturday night with some comments for the people who have responded to me and they are posted in the archives. I would appreciate a response from them if they have a chance to read my post as I am really struggling with this. I also asked where Madelaine from South Texas was. Hope you are OK Madelaine and just too busy to post, I really appreciate your comments and I miss you!! Keep up the good work DeD, you are not alone. God Bless. You are all in my prayers every night.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 05:41 PM

Comments

It's Patricia, Alcoholic. Thank you Todd T. for your encouragement. I am already having a hard time this evening. But I am determined to cut this addiction out of my life, not only for myself, but for my children and husband. I have Vodka in the house, and yet I am afraid to dump it out. I told my husband as soon as he got home that I have joined this website and am now reading the book. I am afraid of going to a meeting just yet, but hopefully that will change as I get thru the next few days. Thank you everyone - it helps to read your comments!!God Bless!


Member: Jaimie W
Location: Orlando, Florida
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 06:15 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Jaimie and im a acoholic and attict... im on 15 years old and have been living a life of deciet and lies...i am going to AA meetings in Orlando but last night i finally got a wake up call... and now have gone into a state of depression... i dont know what to do, how to do it, and i am not sure if i am going to get through this.. i feel empty and alone! Thanx


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:19 PM

Comments

Hi Jaimie: "Jackpots" are always difficult to deal with especially in early sobriety. I don't know what your situation is, but trust me, we have all had situations. It is called living. Chapter 5 talks about the alcoholic and how self-centeredness is the root of our problems The big book website is as follows http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/chapter_5.html In short, I am offering a quote from chapter 5 on the nature of our malady. "Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits. What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony? Our actor is self-centered, ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." As an aside, I am now reminiscing on when I was 15. I am was full-blown alcoholic, getting drunk every week-end, trying to fit in. The reality was that I was full of self hatred (for I was picked on great deal at school, trying to fit in and trying to belong. I hated everyone & everybody. In short, my teenage were not memorable ones, but I got through them. You will to...one day at a time. I did and I will be 40 on Sept. 18. Please consider getting to lots of meetings and stat praying for someone to come into your life who is working the 12 steps. Some other male who could be your sponsor. Someone close to your age would be a real God send. Remember, if you are genuinely alcoholic, drinking will not solve the problem, it will only compound whatever you are going through. God bless.


Member: Roxanne B
Location: Kansas
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:21 PM

Comments

Roxanne-Alcoholic: I am miserable and hungover. Loneliness is my life. I grew up in AA but somewhere along the line I quit listening and I now feel like I know nothing about this program. I have been to Rehab and several meetings but I still don't get it. Drinking doesn't help I know that, I have seen people stay sober for over 15 years because of this program and I still haven't grasped the concept. I am scared to death every day. I am so scared that I can't even answer the phone because I am afraid it's someone that I hurt while I was drunk. I am so ashamed of myself that I can't even stand to go to the gas station to get cigarettes. How am I supposed to go to a meeting full of sober people and ask them for help, to be my sponser or for a phone number if I can't even get the nerve up to answer the phone? My family is scared to death that I am not going to make it and honestly so am I. I turn 21 in less than a year and I know that if I don't sober up and stay that way I won't make it 6 months. This disease scares me to death. Sobriety scares me even more.


Member: Buddy S.
Location: near New Orleans
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:29 PM

Comments

Buddy, an alcoholic. Tough day. White knuckles all the way. Still struggling to refrain from being hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Grateful to have made it through another day.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:38 PM

Comments

To Roxanne B Hang in there. I know exactly where you are coming from. I had 15 years of sobriety & I went out there again. I found out the hard way that I didn't have a program. All I had was "don't drink & go to meetings routine." I paid a price. 2 years of slipping to be exact. My last major slip was a major blackout. I did some things that...lets just says caused me some grief. The point is this. Early sobriety is hard, but getting drunk, getting hung over, with the remorse, bitterness , fear and dread is even worse..much worse. I will pass on what was passed on to me when I first cam to AA. For the practicing alcoholic who doesn't stop, there are 5 alternatives. A. Unhappiness for the rest of your life..if you are lucky!!! B. Jail c. Hospital d. Mental institution /asylum e. Graveyard. Pick your choice if you choose to drink & you are genuinely alcoholic. Pick up the phone & make a call. Please get to a meeting. You will thank yourself for it.


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 08:38 PM

Comments

Ann - alcoholic. Jaimie I suggest you get to another meeting as quickly as possible. I also suggest you get a sponser quick (asap)- Someone who has some length of time in sobriety. You can also get other people in the program numbers so if you can't get a hold of one you have some others to fall back on. I admire you at your age reaching out for help. I don't know what happened that you think you can't get through but your alive and breathing. Depression goes hand in hand with addiction(s). Alcohol is a depressant and add on top of that the regretable things we do while under the influence. Feeling empty and alone are characteristics that I would think every alcoholic has experience with. Don't drink or drug and please come back and tell us how your doing. Hang in there. Deb from Vermont - how are you doing?


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 09:22 PM

Comments

Hi Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Not in early sobriety, but posting in the spirit of the preamble which states my primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. Over the years I have been on 12 Step Teams and have been the telephone contact in Lafayette, Colorado. The one phrase that caught nearly every person I talked to was, "Kinda lonely out there, ain't it?". Right then and there I generally had their attention. There are many ways to fend off loneliness. Meetings if you stay for the meeting after the meeting. Roundups and Conventions, Clubs, AA dances and BBQs, and the best on of all...Help another person. Don't have to be an alcoholic. If you are having trouble finding someone who needs help, just look around the corner. If you are in an isolated area or are housebound for one reason or another, then let me invite you to www.winnerscirclemeeting.com Click on the meeting room. A formally chaired AA meeting will be found there 7 days 9:30 pm eastern time. We go into open chat after the meeting. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: ;-]
Location: ;-]
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 10:50 PM

Comments

There is no continuity of posts here. Newbies shouldn't have to go and search the Archives for answers to their questions or replies to their posts. If the Archives were in order it wouldn't be so hard to search them.


Member: shawn
Location: philadelphia
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 11:10 PM

Comments

hi shawn here, alcoholic, I am very new to the program i have been sober for 3 weeks now. 3 weeks ago i moved out of a 14 yr. relationship and I have not had a drink since. everything is new and i am alone. i like it so far, i am grateful to be sober. to fend off lonliness i have been going to meetings and sharing, meeting people, getting numbers and using them. at night i get a little lonely and right now i am even scared.i don;t know what the future brings but i'm here. thanks for listening


Member: FC
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Date: September 16, 2002
Time: 11:56 PM

Comments

Hey everyone out there, Fc here, an alcholic. Just read everyone's memos, quite insperational, you are not alone and I feel everyone's pain. Helps me read this, to do what I have to do and get help. But, the doors seem to expand 90 miles away. Trying very hard to get to a meeting, but chicken out. Probaly cause I don't know what to expect. As you might have gathered I'm new to this. Sobriety, seems like maybe something I may not be able to achieve. I always find excuses, not to get the proper help. Its hard. But, I choice to live, the way I'm going I might not make it that far. Don't really know life without drinking and yes, it's a very lonely place. I don't want to feel that way, but, its all I know. Isolation is very much a key in alcholism. For all of you's out there trying to live a sober life, Hats off to you!


Member: Roxie B
Location: Kansas
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 12:20 AM

Comments

Pat H.thank you for caring enough to respond. And FC don't feel bad about chickening out. I have been to a lot of meetings and I know what to expect but if I have to go alone I always chicken out. That's why I am here. Don't give up though, I won't. I am sure someday we'll both make it there.


Member: Jen C
Location: Tempe, AZ
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 01:42 AM

Comments

((Roxanne))I can identify with you so well. Our stories seem very similar. I tried rehab when I was 15 (Jamieís age) and went in and out of trying to quit drinking for the past 5 years. I too will be turning 21 in the next few months and Iím scared of whatís to come. Part of my job puts me in bars 3-5 nights a week so for me I have an extra tough time staying away from that first drink. Thankfully, there is a guy that hangs out with the band that is in AA and he has made it clear that he is going to sit with me when I have to be there. I have only been sober for three days but for the first time I have more faith than ever. One day at a time. Although I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting I have found plenty online and it has helped tremendously. About answering the phone, I feel your pain. I currently have a greeting on my phone that says Iím indefinitely unavailable to answer any calls, but I check my voicemail regularly and answer the ones Iím able to handle at the time. Keep coming back and feel free to email me. ((Jamie)) please keep coming back also, it makes a big difference to me to have some other young people around that I can identify with. Please feel free to email: dexaz169@yahoo.com Happy 24 to everyone who made it through today.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 08:03 AM

Comments

Hi Deb here, alcoholic, going on my 4th day. I chickened out on going to a meeting last night but I am still sober, maybe sometime. I hope that all of you young people get help now and take hold of your life, don't wait!!! Good Luck


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 09:20 AM

Comments

Way to Go Deb!!


Member: Avery L
Location: Tampa Bay area
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 10:04 AM

Comments

Wow..this is different for me!....I had 7.5 yrs. at one time, but have been in and out (mostly out) for the past 4-5 yrs. And now I'm seeing first hand how "progressive" alcoholism is. I haven't drank now for 3-4 days, depending on whether I count the 14th, being hungerover, IN JAIL, scared to death. And now I'm even more scared waiting to see if there will be a warrant for my arrest for violating probation I've been on....all due to my DRINKING. I have been arrested 3 times in the past 3 years and none of it would have happened had I not been drinking. I HAVE TO QUIT, and someone said earlier that you have to WANT to quit. Yes I do but I have to be honest and say that the mental obsession is definitely there. I never dreamed my life would end up like it is. I don't wish it on my worst enemy. I am 41 years and don't want to continue my life this way. I have been lonely all my life but when I was in the fellowship of AA for over 7 yrs. I always had tons of people I could call, at any time. (And I'm still in contact with a few) I don't think I could stay sober just by typing to all of you. It is helping to get some of this out tho. Sorry if I'm rambling, just needed to talk. I have been planning to get to a meeting every night since my "release" but haven't yet. And I'm scared to death that if I don't, one of these days the committee in my head (the one without a chairperson!) will decide that I can have that ONE drink. Only beer of course cause it's the hard stuff that gets me into trouble. That's something I've admitted to myself this time ------ that ANY drink, like beer, almost always leads me to the hard stuff if I have enough and it's available. I've never been an at-home drinker like some of you. If I do start out at home, I'm the type to have to "go out", which I always do no matter what it takes cause I don't want to be home alone, I want to be around others doing the same thing, thinking I'm going to meet the man of my dreams usually. Well, at 41, I've yet to do that!.........I read all your comments, from the beginning, and it was very refreshing. Kind of like being at a meeting. This will be real helpful but I do suggest to all of those who haven't been to an actual AA mtg., to do so. You will be glad you did. Please say a prayer for me, I will do the same for all of you. God grant me the serenity......bye for now! Avery


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 10:23 AM

Comments

Bill here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Sara K. - Keep coming back to this site! You can read some of our stories and answer the question for yourself. I could not control the drinking (I tried many, many different ways, but none of them worked!). I have found that by listening to others, I have learned a lot about my situation and how I am powerless over alcohol. Look deep inside and be honest with yourself. You are the only one who can decide if you need (or can)to control alcohol. Patricia H. - Thanks for being here. I have a similiar situation with booze being in our house. My wife still drinks, but I asked her to put the alcohol somewhere I won't see it. I don't like to open the kitchen cupboard and see a half gallon of vodka saying hello to me. In four short months in AA, I'm free of the compulsion to drink, and have no physical desire. However, I do not like to have alcohol in my face. I also do not go to places or parties where drinking is "celebrated" and continues for long periods of time. I don't want to go back to the misery, loneliness, fear, jealousy, and anger that I had at the end of my drinking career. I'm happy for you and hope that you keep coming back. Peace and God Bless. Enjoy this day, it's the only one that counts!


Member: Karen C
Location: Michigan
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 10:58 AM

Comments

I am Karen, and alcoholic. Good Morning one and all. Today is my 7th day being sober! I am so excited, my sister and I found both alanon/AA meetings at the same time/same place to attend on Saturday. It will be my 1st f2f meeting, and I am too chicken to go alone. With both of us in the same car, I won't feel alone, and neither will she. My kids and I moved almost 3k miles to be near to my sister after 25 years being apart. I feel so blessed to have her in my day to day life again....she and her kids have the apt. just upstairs from mine. One thing I did this past week that really helped me was attend the New Sobriety Meeting (real time chat) @ e-aa.org Very nice people, very encouraging and helpful. Thanks everyone....


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 01:59 PM

Comments

A trend I'm seeing in these newcomer posts is of being afraid to go to a face to face meeting. We alcoholics build things up in our minds to be much bigger than they really are. Think of something that you have fretted about in the past. Then think of how foolish you have felt when it was all over.I'm not talking about root-canal surgery here; some social function that you were dreading to attend. An AA meeting is the same way. You might have some anxiety in the early moments but as people start to talk it eases. I chose my home group not because peoplple flocked around me; though a handshake and a smile was always mine for the taking. I used to sit and close my eyes during the break at first because I was too shy to introduce myself. I would listen to the members of the group talk and laugh. These were people with serenity in their lives who genuinely enjoyed being with each other. They had something that I wanted. I kept coming back until I became one of those people joking around. If you don't like the meeting you're in--find a different one. It took me a while to hit upon the right one.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 02:02 PM

Comments

To Avery L. Been there. Had almost 15 years & went out again. Will keep you in prayer. God Bless & ahe a sober day.


Member: Sara K.
Location: SoCal
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 02:33 PM

Comments

I want to thank Rich P.; Anne C.; and Bill P. for your responses. Just knowing that someone cares enough to answer a question from a complete stranger with that much honesty makes me feel much better about comeing here. I have decided that I will try to quit drinking for 30 days. If I can do that than maybe I can learn to drink more responsibly, however, if I can't then I will seek more help. Since my annerversy is this weekend, I suppose I will start this Sunday? Thank you all so much!!


Member: Ed C.
Location: Wayne, NJ
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 02:40 PM

Comments

Ed - ALCOHOLIC. Lonliness is a funny word when you attempt to stop drinking since you (I) seem to be all alone in my anguish. I have tried to tell my wife that I am an alcoholic an that I need her help and not her anger. I'm a newbie here and am seeking a local meeting with which I can share. Thanks for listening.


Member: AnnieM
Location: NY
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 03:57 PM

Comments

Anne, alcoholic. Welcome to all newcomers, and congrats to those putting together some days. I have 118 days so far. Unfortunately my loneliness seems to be growing stronger. My husband still drinks so he does not support my sobriety and our relationship is strained. He does not want to be with the few sober friends I have; I do not want to be with people who are drinking. I haven't made friends at my meetings, although I feel thath I have tried to reach out. I work from home so I am isolated. I am just beginning to rediscover myself and am possibly delving to deeply too quickly, which is making me feel more alone. I am going to try to get to some different meetings to see some new faces. Good luck to all of us.


Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 04:04 PM

Comments

Marie here - 2nd day of sobriety - have tried off and on for years to quit but have never tried any type of support, on-line or otherwise. Alcoholism IS a lonely thing -my husband (who is wonderful) is a "normal" drinker and although knows I have a problem, wishes I could just drink on weekends with him. He doesn't know the extent of my problem - hiding alcohol, (especially from my pre-teens), gulping in the kitchen while doing dishes, guzzling extra drinks while he runs to the store to get a few things the list goes on. Can't bring myself to go to meetings yet. Am wondering if you have to stand up when you join and announce to the entire room that you're an alcoholic - not sure I could bear that. Am trying a day at a time.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 04:18 PM

Comments

It's only day 2 for me today, and besides feeling very tired (hard to sleep without alcohol), and having no energy, I'm doing pretty good. Thank you all for being so welcoming and giving your good advice. I will begin looking for face to face meetings this evening. Hugs to everyone and God Bless.


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 04:28 PM

Comments

Hi Marie, At the meetings I go to they always ask at the beginning if there is anyone new who would like to introduce themselves. The first meeting I went to my brother took me, it was real small, six people. My brother introduced himself "Hi my name's Chris and I'm an alcoholic, visiting from Florida" Then everybody looked at ME and I thought "What you mean you've got to do this the very first DAY??!!" So I did, I said my name's Miranda and I'm an alcoholic. But I found out later you don't have to introduce yourself as an alcoholic, you don't have to introduce yourself at all if you don't want to even, you can just not say one single solitary thing. You can just sit there. That's OK.


Member: Maire
Location: Ca
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 04:45 PM

Comments

To Patricia H. in Michigan - I just want to say good luck to you since you are also on day 2. You said you were tired due to no alcohol to help with falling asleep - even tho this is only my 2nd day, I did go 3 weeks last month not drinking (then lapsed this weekend thinking I would try one more time to drink like a normal person) - the 1st 3 or 4 nights were awful - could NOT fall asleep and was up and down all night, then about 4th or 5th night started sleeping like a baby. Wasn't sure I'd ever be able to sleep without my bottle and 1/2 of wine. Even tho I slept sort of badly last night I know tonight or next night will be ok. Best of luck in your journey to sobriety.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 04:46 PM

Comments

Is there any such thing as a on-line picnic for all of us?? we can pretend!! I'll bring the potato salad, I fell good today, thanks Miranda


Member: Maire
Location: Ca
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 05:11 PM

Comments

To Patricia H. in Michigan - I just want to say good luck to you since you are also on day 2. You said you were tired due to no alcohol to help with falling asleep - even tho this is only my 2nd day, I did go 3 weeks last month not drinking (then lapsed this weekend thinking I would try one more time to drink like a normal person) - the 1st 3 or 4 nights were awful - could NOT fall asleep and was up and down all night, then about 4th or 5th night started sleeping like a baby. Wasn't sure I'd ever be able to sleep without my bottle and 1/2 of wine. Even tho I slept sort of badly last night I know tonight or next night will be ok. Best of luck in your journey to sobriety.


Member: andrea L
Location: texas
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 05:29 PM

Comments

Becoming a sober person was something that I thought I never needed to do. I'm 26 and in the prime of my life. I've never been a heavy drinker, but it was a daily ritual. After a run in with the law, I was forced to get my life together and sober up. I was then left out of many social activities that many of my circles of friends were involved with. Talk about lonely; my boyfriend and I broke up over it, I had to move out of my apartment because my roomates were also heavy drinkers. At some point I realized that this time alone must be a blessing. One day I'll get married and have children and will miss this privacy. 1 year and 4 months later, my life has started to come together and more importantly my pride and self confidence has errupted. I'm not lonely anymore. I have a wonderful boyfriend now and he is so proud of my sobriety. Hang in there, it is worth it. Andrea


Member: Tony. A
Location: United Kingdom
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 06:19 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Tony and I'm an Alcoholic.I'm 7.5 months sober, for me a miracle.I drank for over 20yrs every day and couldn't stop when I wanted to virtually every day.I found AA here in the UK and have not had a drink since.I am divorcing my wife, she's not letting me see my kids, the very thing she said she wouldn't do.I feel lonely without my children, but I have something I never had before 'A PROGRAM FOR LIVING SOBER',a Higher Power and a Fellowship of Men and Women who love me for what I am. I had a fear of living on my own and being lonely.I truly believe that my H.Power has put me in this situation for a reason.If I look deep enough within myself,I see I'm not lonely.My first few days were hard,but today the compulsion to drink has left me.I still have thoughts of a drink,I'm an Alcoholic,but I have the Tools of AA,to fight them.I stared working the program within my second week of recovery and had a sponsor after my 4th meeting, because I knew there was no other way.I had tried everything else and failed.I have not had a drink today nor wanted to.This is the miracle that AA has given me,EVERYTHING ELSE IS A BONUS.Keep coming back.


Member: Bobby A.
Location: Texas
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 07:06 PM

Comments

To Sara K. and Anne C. If you have a problem with alcohol and you feel as though you can still drink and control it you are B.S.ing yourselves.Ill tell you what an old timer told me ,"go ahead with it and keep on drinking if you dont think youve found your bottom some of us will be here when you get ready to get honest".That may sound harsh but this disease is serious. The big book says:Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we LET GO ABSOLUTELY!Im only letting you know that I tried the controlled drinking thing for 2 years before I hit my bottom and I didnt need to.Good luck.


Member: Roxanne B
Location: Kansas
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 07:12 PM

Comments

I have only been sober now for 2 days and I've never stayed sober for more than 30 days. But I know that if I keep coming back that I will eventually get it. Also if you're lonely and afraid why not go to a meeting. I would rather be there where people will accept and listen to me than at home alone crying about how lonely I am. There are people out there just waiting to listen to you and give you a big hug you just have to go find them. It really is that easy. Also for those of you out there who don't know anything about this program buy yourself a copy of The Big Book. Then read it often. All the answer are in there you just have to find them. That book was all I had when I first got sober. When I can't get the courage up to go to a meeting I read the Big Book. It helps more and more everytime I read it. Keep coming back.


Member: Jay
Location: NY
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 08:06 PM

Comments

Hi, Im Jay and I'm an alcoholic I have the pleasure of being with my 2 year old for the past week, while my wife is away. but, it also is keeping me from making my normal meetings. I am glad to have found this site where I can still get the feeling of the fellowship and help ease some of that lonely feeling, which reminds me of just sitting by myself and drinking. Thank you all


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 09:54 PM

Comments

Hi Deb here, alcoholic. I just came back from my first meeting!! The people were so nice. They tell me that I have to get a sponsor, but they said that I will know the right person when I see them. I told them that I have all of you people too, I did it Miranda, Ann, Ann C I know that I have a long way to go, but I think that I will get there.


Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 09:54 PM

Comments

I haven't posted for the last several days and I am overwhelmed by the number of new people posting. I thought I was new with 58 days sober! (((Jo, Deb, Vee, Ann, Jen. C. Azbill, Miranda, Stacy, Marsha, Bill P., Jack, Craig, Pat. H.(Michigan), Todd T., Mark, Rhonda, Rich P., Roxanne B, Buddy s, Shawn, FC, Jen C, Deb B, Avery L, Bill P, Andrea L, Tony A., Bobby A, Jay, Jaimie w, Wnne C, Jason C, Marie, Ed C, Annie M, Karen, Bobby A, Sarah, Pat H (Canada), JoAnne D, Bill))). God Bless You all! You all have such valad statements and questions. I am too new to answer them all except with my limited experience. Karen C--Congrats on your sobriety! I was isolated, too. I've come to understand that isoation is not unusual for alcoholics. It's another warning sign.Try to reach out to other alchoholics and attend those F2F meetings! Read the BB, and keep coming back! Bobby A--You don't say how long you've been sober. Privacy isn't the same thing as being lonely. Drunks sometimes isolate themselves because it's simply easier and more convenient that way. AA is a program of fellowship. You don't have to be lonely with AA around. Keep coming back! Sarah--Welcome! Glad you're back for another 24. Pat H--Congradulations on almost 3 months of sobriety. It sounds like it hasn't been easy, particularly with the loss of your friend. You went a long time before relapsing. What made you drink? Why do you think you need to stop now? Please come back. You are there without much support, but Staying Cyber can give you support. We're here. God Bless. Jo Anne D-- Please ask the chairperson to announce that you need help with transportation. There are others there that are looking for a way to help others. This would give them a way. Many are shy like you. Take the initiative and at least approach the chairperson. Just try! Keep coming back! Jaimie W--My heart goes out to you! Check on Alateen in your area. It's never easy at your age. We love you and I feel that there are many of uf who will help any way we can. Look in your phone book and just call an AA number/. Tell them your problem. They will help. Keep coming back! Annie M--118 days! God Bless! Hang in there and please go to the other meetings for support. The Lord Bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Anne C--Thanks for missing me. I have been an at-home drinker, like you. You are in for trouble if you don't take notice now. It's always easier to continue rather than take notice of what the future might have in store. If you came here, you thought you had a problem. Take notice, or you will get more of the same and worse. We love you. Come back at all costs. God bless.


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 10:13 PM

Comments

Much appreciation to everyone out there for being so honest and telling how you feel. Congrats to all of you trying to stay sober. I am very new to this site, but can't help telling you enough, What a serious problem I have. From reading everyone's post, I'm really trying, especially getting to a meeting. I know its the only way to save myself. From reading, I actually tried hard to make it 24 hours. But, I was a nervous wreck afterwards, the shakes are making it impossible. I can not go to a meeting cause I'm shaking like a leaf. Right now, forget about sleep. I'm going to try to fight this because of all of you out there. Then I will go to a meeting. Thanks for your support! God bless you all for having hope to save your own life's, cause it's contagious and I just might get it!


Member: Bill J
Location: Kingsville TX
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 11:06 PM

Comments

Lonelyness is common in and out of AA. I found in early soberity if I helt my hand out and introduced myself I got to meet lots of people. I tryed meeting some Guys with intrest the same as mine and made some great friends. My sponsor told me to leave the girls alone till I could look at them as friends not sex objecpts. That took a while but have made some great friends that are girls. Yes I'm married and I do not hide friends from my wife. If you keep it straight it isn't a problem. With 26 years of soberity I'm beginning to run into the problem of my friends dieing off and it is hard to replace them but not impossable.


Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Arlington, TX
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 11:14 PM

Comments

Gabrielle grateful recovering alcoholic...For me I had to figure out just what the heck lonliness was for me...I can remember being in a room full of people and still feeling lonley...so I guess I had to determine what was lonely and it became apparant to me that it was whenever I felt left out, not a part of, not wanted, not needed, not loved...and that happened a great deal when I was growing up, in school and just in my life in general. Lonliness and isolation were states of mind for me, a place where I was and didn't know how to get out of...I just could not reach out and and try to be a part of...it also meant that I had to deal with issues of unhappiness in general in my life. I know there were times when there were plenty of folks around but I didn't fit in...after I got sober one of the first things my sponsor taught me was how to be alone and be happy...I didn't like myself when i first got sober and so i had to learn how to spend time with me and how to be happy, once I started doing that and became more involved in meetings, I found that those times of lonliness were happening less and less...and now I rarely have them except when it is on purpose for the purpose of quiet time. Today I like me and I can spend time with myself and be happy and that has taught me how to be with others and how to reach out and to fit in so that I no longer feel alone even in crowds. I believe for me I had to learn to like me first for this to happen...now I have a fairly happy life and I can reach out when I feel isolated or cut off from my program or family or even myself...it helps me when on the road of life to remember that no matter what happens today, no matter what road I may travel on in life, no matter if I am alone or with many.... I cannot fail until I stop trying, In Sobriety, In AA, In Life Gabrielle


Member: Joe P. - joep041699@mindspring.com
Location: Chicago
Date: September 17, 2002
Time: 11:50 PM

Comments

To fend off loneliness, I started with meetings, meetings, meetings, and more meetings. If you are having trouble getting to a meeting, look up AA in your local phone book, call, and ask for them to send somebody around to talk with you. Somebody will be happy to take you to a meeting. That is what we are about, carrying the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Meetings are very different from one another, so try a bunch before you decide you donít like the meetings at all. Personally, I was advised to make Menís meetings (Womenís meetings for women), and that turned out to be great advice. The key is really to reach out and ask for help. That nobody can do for you. If anybody is from the Chicago area, e-mail me and I would do everything possible to get connected with people at meetings. Life sober really is grand, and I would wish it for all who come here.


Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 12:21 AM

Comments

To FC - my heart goes out to you - it sounds like you are trying so hard but maybe the withdrawal symptoms are making life miserable. If you have a sympathic MD, maybe he or she could help. I know a meeting would be so helpful but I can't offer any advice since I haven't gotten up the courage to go to one yet - this is my first day on this site and have enjoyed very much reading everyones posts - it has been so helpful - I located a meeting site about 6 months ago and actually drove over and then chickened out - I have really kicked myself for not going in but I just can't get up the nerve yet - after reading posts on this site tho I feel really encouraged and hopeful for the first time. I ordered the Big Book on-line today (too embarrassed to go in person to Borders) - I am so anxious to start reading - I quit for 3 weeks last month but that was the longest I've gone without alcohol in 20 years except when I was pregnant (twice) of course started right back up immediatly after giving birth. I wish you so much luck - this seems to be a great site - everyone seems so non-judgemental and truly helpful - keep up the good work!


Member: Kerry B 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 12:41 AM

Comments

FC - I have seen many folk with the shakes, I had them myself when I started going to meetings. It may be hard to believe, but it is not something to be ashamed of. The people in the rooms may not have all been in the space you are, but it is for sure that some of them have. Afterall, it wouldn't be an AA meeting with alcoholics. If you are having strong physical withdrawels, I recommend that you see a doctor and allow him/her to know what you are attempting to do. Some folks have a really rough time withdrawing. I'm here to tell you, you can stay sober no matter what your situation is. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Let us know how you are doing, and above all else, don't quit quitting.


Member: Kerry B
Location: Idaho
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 12:42 AM

Comments

I meant it wouldn't be an AA WITHOUT any alcoholics in attendance. sheesh, I best get to proof reading before hitting the button!


Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 01:34 AM

Comments

FC, what Kerry said is true. I remember shaking. On the outside for a while. And then, on the inside for a while. The other night I sat in front of a guy in a meeting whose knees were jumping so badly I could feel the floor shake underneath me. That is one of the most beautiful sights in the world. An alcoholic wanting to get sober. There is someone at that meeting who needs you. Please go find out who it is. Some of you guys don't know it, but your luck just changed. You needn't feel alone. Look at all the folks right here in this place. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. ((Madelaine)), you do have something very important to offer. You have the experience of having walked through that door for the first time. Love to you all.


Member: Stacy E
Location: Kentucky
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 05:09 AM

Comments

Hi Y'all! Whooo-Wooo Deb!!! You go girl, I am so PROUD of you! Madelaine, glad to see you back. Have you not noticed how many people here and over in Coffee Pot have asked about you? How could you even entertain the idea that you may not have anything helpful to say? We missed you, Dammit!(Hug.) FC, you're in my prayers. You can do it, don't give up! Miranda, you sound JUST like me! (You poor child!) I used to think the exact same kinds of thoughts and do the same things you did. Let's both keep those pitiful behaviors in the past! Mark D., you're inspiring! I absolutely love you and LOOK for your posts. To all of the young people who have joined us - Don't waste any more time with alcohol. God knows I threw a lot of years away that I'll never get back. Alcohol will only rob you of your future; sobriety will give it to you. I only have ten days sober but already I have a lot of hope. It doesn't take long for things to look brighter when booze isn't clouding everything up. Hugs to everyone and God Bless! Stacy.


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 07:08 AM

Comments

FC: I was so hungover and sick at the first meeting I went to I could barely see. Glad to hear you made a meeting Deb! One Day At A Time everybody, here's to another 24 for us all!


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 08:08 AM

Comments

Ann - alcoholic, Deb - way to go! keep going and keep coming! FC- I had the shakes for a long time - not only from the alcohol but from anxiety. I still shake in certain situations - that's what I do when I get nervous. It's better than drinking- but I know what your going thru. Most people in meetings understand - that's why the newcomer is often offered a 1/2 cup of coffee instead of a full one. Marie - I used to do the same thing. I'd drive to the meeting, circle the meeting place in my car then chicken out. From experience - you'll beat yourself up more for not going in then actually going in. Most of us don't walk thru the doors with enthusiasm - we usually come when we've been beaten down so bad we can't take it anymore - desperation can be a gift. When you walk in the door your not only helping yourself but the others in the room. People with all different lengths of sobriety need the newcomer! Trust me. Around here they say the only way to keep your sobriety is to give it away - to pass it on. Madelaine it's so good to hear you - your doing great and I agree you have a lot to offer. Roxanne - have you tried any Big Book meetings? I bet you'd get a lot out of them. Your doing great. Keep coming. Sobriety is wonderful!


Member: RobinA
Location: Florida
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 08:33 AM

Comments

*~*~*~*^Twenty Four Hours ¬ Day^*~*~*~* A.A. Thought for the Day Step One is, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable." This step states the membership requirement of A.A. We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of alcohol. We must admit that we are licked as far as drinking is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot drink like normal people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, a surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop drinking. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from normal drinkers? ***************** When I first came into the program of AA, It was suggested to me that I get a daily meditation book, a journal of some sort and to get into the pratice of taking time for me...every day to get myself centered. I did that in the morning each day and it got me focused on what I needed to do to stay sober for that day-that day only. It helped me tremendously. When I feel myself getting irritable, discontent, etc...I find I need to start doing what I need to do each day to get balanced. Back to Basics. It has worked for me so far. I know this is off topic...but its the thought in my head at the moment. KCB~and hang around until the miracle happens-its worth it and so are all of you!


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 09:16 AM

Comments

FC, please call your local A.A. number, you will find it in your phone book. They will help you. Please, ask them to come talk with you F2F. The shakes are nothing to be ashamed of. But as alcoholism is a physical, mental and spiritual disease your shakes might or might not be a physical sign that it would be best for you go to a detox center where they can help with your physical withdrawls. So please, phone your local A.A. number and tell them of your desire for soberity and they will help!


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 09:17 AM

Comments

((Stacy E)) Thank you for your kind comments. I've posted a reply of sorts in the Disscussion Meeting forum as it doesn't apply here. Newcomers- I post here after one year of sobriety (and 9 months of undergraduate work) because it is vital for me to keep fresh in my mind and heart the great difficulty of that struggle. Likewise any hope I can offer to those of you who despair by way of my fresh experience is my duty and my reward to those who helped me.


Member: Jo
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 09:29 AM

Comments

Jo here.....day 9! I have a sponsor now and have never felt so good. I got sober in 1992 and in 2000 I relapsed. These past few years have been hell, but I am grateful for the 7 1/2 years I had and the 9 days I have now.


Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 10:02 AM

Comments

Hi Everyone. My name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. On the wall of the meeting room at my home group (West Side Club - Kissimmee, FL) is a sign which bears what has become an important part of my life. The sign says "When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help I want the hand of AA to be there and, for that, I am responsible." At the bottom of the same sign it says "YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANY MORE". God bless and have a happy, sober 24. Jack


Member: Marie
Location: Ca.
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 11:30 AM

Comments

Day 3 no alcohol yay!! I am very tired but feel 100% better than 9 hours sleep WITH alcohol!


Member: Lauren K.
Location: Arlington, TX
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 11:46 AM

Comments

Lauren alcoholic. Loneliness is a great topic to discuss especially when new in sobriety. I have almost a year sober and still consider myself a newcommer. I am a very out going person...or so I thought until I got sober. If I am lonely it tends to be my own doings and my old thinking. I get into my head and out of the moment. Once I get out of the moment I am on my terms instead of God's terms. I think a lot of the reasons that I had pulled away from the group was because I had trust issues. I thought that I could not trust them...but I had to learn to trust myself first! After learning to trust myself I have learned to trust others. I know that there is always someone there willing to talk or help. I think for me the only time I get lonely is when I stop working my program and quit doing the 5 alive! Thanks to the big book and you people I have learned how to live on God's terms. The big book not only teaches me how to stay sober one day at a time. But, it also teaches me how to live!


Member: Bobby A.
Location: Texas
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 12:37 PM

Comments

Im Bobby Im an alcoholic,to Madeline and anyone else who is interested my sobriety date is 6-20-02 which is also my wedding anniversery.Ill have 3 months this weekend!However my focus is just one day at a time.These 3 months have been very good but it has been a roller coaster ride as some of you know in your own experience.Ive been discovering and re-discovering feelings that I didnt know were there and some that have been there that I forgot I had.Some should be there and others shouldnt be there but through Gods grace Ill be able to work through it.I guess what Im trying to say is that Im learning to meet life on lifes terms.Life is a horses patoot sometimes but I would rather face it sober now than drunk.Im just now starting to work the 4th step and have learned some good things so far and Ive not yet scratched the surface! The journey is the goal,God bless all!


Member: Ed C.
Location: North Jersey
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 12:59 PM

Comments

Wow, and I thought I was the only weird one! It's day 2 for me. I had a lot of day 2's before, even day 3's and 4's. I'm scared s#^tless and I'm not sure why. I've tried to quit before, but this is the only time where I've really been afraid - maybe that's progress? I'm seroius about it this time ("yeah sure, like the last"), but I need real help and to stick with it. Thanks for listening.


Member: Patrica H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 01:11 PM

Comments

((Marie)) I'm right with you - 3 days sober today and feeling pretty good. Still less sleep than normal but I will get over it. We also have in common the fact that we could quit during pregnancies (2 for me as well), but went right back to drinking afterward. Yuck! ((Everyone)) Thanks for all your words of encouragement and for all your shared stories - it helps out alot. God Bless you all! Paticia H.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 02:18 PM

Comments

Hi Folks: Lots of gratitude today. Hit my 40 birthday today(chronological one that is). Some peace an serenity finally starting to enter into my life. Grateful for a beautiful majestic day in the Labrador Straits, a good sponsor send by God to help me through the steps, who doesn't mind using the telephone, Internet and whatever to help me get through the steps, the joy of finally beginning to get rid of the extensive amount of baggage I was carrying due to untreated alcoholism. My first 5th is nearing completion. It is extensive. Then again, I had over 500 resentments. No wonder I went out & slipped after 15 years of being in this program. My sobriety was based on "don't drink & go to meetings" not the 12 steps carved into my life. I am heading into 3 months continuous sobriety (Sept 28) to be exact, & I am finally beginning to feel good about me. Thank you all for my sobriety and above all, I thank God.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 02:37 PM

Comments

Deb, so good to hear you made a meeting. FC, It is doubtful that anyone in an AA meeting has not experienced the shakes first hand. The experience of attending a meeting will probably heighten your resolve to remain sober. I know myself best, so my experience follows. I tried and tried to quit drinking. Both parents died of liquor induced liver failure. I still drank. It did not seem that I had problems, but my wife left with my stepdaughter. She let me know I had an attitude. I finally built up the courage to go to that First AA meeting. Two guys there took me off to a separate room, where they talked to me at length. It has been 6 and a half years, and I still remember quite a lot of the conversation that night. I found that I was welcome, and people treated me as I was someone. Unlike so much of life. I will always remember that meeting. One of those gentlemen has gone back out, and I've not heard from him in several years. The other had drifted away from AA, but did not drink and is back now. He is happy and I am too. We are sober today, and for that I am grateful. You never have to drink again. I would have had a hard time believing that had I ben told just prior to that meeting. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 03:41 PM

Comments

First CONGRATS TO DEBD!! Way to go!! I can't believe how far you have come in such a short time. Good Luck with everything. I have gone back and re-read the posts from the date I found this site. I am amazed at myself as I really seemed to want to stop drinking and now I am happy with "controlled drinking" (I am definitely confused). I took special note of a comment RichP made and that was that "normal drinkers usually don't worry about their drinking" and that hit home with me. I also appreciate what BobbyA said, thanks for being so honest. I only had two drinks last night and to-night is my rehearsal night (amateur theatre) I won't be drinking before I go out but I might have one when I come home around 10:45pm. My thinking tells me if I am an alcoholic how can I do this?. I know I sound like I am trying to convince myself that I am not an alcoholic and that is exactly what I am doing. I wish I had the courage to go to a mtg and find out for sure. If I am an alcoholic I hope I realize it in time. Madelaine I am glad your back and doing so well and even though it doesn't seem like it I am taking note of what you say. Thanks again for caring. CONGRATS! to all who are sober and especially those who are struggling. You have so much courage and determination. I wish I had a printer so that I could respond to more of you but I thank you all for your posts. GOD BLESS. You are all in my prayers.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 03:52 PM

Comments

Bill P. here, alcoholic. Pat H. - Thanks for reminding me that we do begin to feel good about ourselves and who we are. That was extremely hard to do for all of the years I drank. At four short months sober, I feel great and I love waking up to a new day without guilt and regrets about what I may have done yesterday. Man, I'm really noticing all of the new people checking in on this site! It's becoming wonderful to see everyone that wants to either get sober or stay that way! The power of "WE" in this program is the blessing that keeps me coming back. Love you all!


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 03:52 PM

Comments

Bill P. here, alcoholic. Pat H. - Thanks for reminding me that we do begin to feel good about ourselves and who we are. That was extremely hard to do for all of the years I drank. At four short months sober, I feel great and I love waking up to a new day without guilt and regrets about what I may have done yesterday. Man, I'm really noticing all of the new people checking in on this site! It's becoming wonderful to see everyone that wants to either get sober or stay that way! The power of "WE" in this program is the blessing that keeps me coming back. Love you all!


Member: Jason C
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 06:53 PM

Comments

I'm still not sure if I'm alcoholic or have a lack of respect for myself and others. I read the big book through chapter 7, and I've taken an honest personal inventory, made a list of all my fears, and written out all the bad things I've done (I also know someone I could tell it to who fits the requirements from the BB). Tonight I'm going to a beginners meeting and I'm hoping that I find someone there who can help me. I haven't talked to my girlfriend in 4 days (she's been in the program for almost 3 years, and told me that I must figure this out on my own, and to talk to her when I do) and I'm very lonely without her to talk to. Thanks for listening all.


Member: Jason C
Location: VA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 07:07 PM

Comments

Quick question that I really could used answered in the next 30 minutes. If I'm unsure about being alcoholic, but I've been to a few members will I be welcome at a closed beginners meeting?


Member: Buddy S.
Location: near New Orleans
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 07:32 PM

Comments

((Jason)) I've never seen anyone get kicked out of an AA meeting for being confused. Just remember, what you see there and what you hear their needs to stay there. All the best to all of you.


Member: Donny W
Location: Michigan
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 07:32 PM

Comments

Donny W here-alcoholic. After 20+ years of pounding back the bottle, ruining relationships, blowing the rent money, loosing good jobs, etc, I checked myself into rehab 26 days ago. Like many of you, I was terrified. I imagined being locked up with the cast of 'One flew over the cuckoos nest'. At first I was horribly lonely, then I began to understand that I did'nt have to hide anything any more. I did'nt have to lie or make excuses, because its ALL out on the table, now....and the best thing was, the people there (and here, I'm finding) all had similar experiences. I could be one of those wacky few, but it is easier for me to meet people now. I'm really glad that I found this site, peace. PS way to go Deb D!!!!!!!!!!!!


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 09:31 PM

Comments

Ann - alcoholic. Jason - I know it's past the 30 minutes but... you've said you talked to few memebers there - what did they say? At some closed meetings I've been to they do like the person to identify themselves as an alcoholic. I would hope someone at the meeting could help you out before hand or their group conciousness will let you sit in.(If they don't they are just protecting their anonymity - one of the reasons for a "closed" meeting) Like Buddy said - if you do go in - who you see there and what is said there stays there. I have been to closed meetings though where the person (including me) wasn't sure if they were alcoholic. It's up to the group. Are there any "open" beginners meetings around you? Hope it works out.


Member: Tony. A
Location: United Kingdom
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 09:52 PM

Comments

HI all,I'm Tony, an alcoholic((marie)) 3 days,((patricia h.)) WELL DONE the World Record is only 24 hours.Keep coming back.REMEMBER DON'T DRINK,THINK,JUST GET TO A MEETING.I always had a fear of being alone and was very lonely, even with people around. I couldn't sleep without some noise eg tv or radio.In the past 7 and a half months I have learnt to know myself and now need to have silence to sleep and have some quite time to look at my gratitude list and pray.That black veil of loneliness has been replaced with the Spirit of AA.People are like stained glass windows when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed,if there is light within. AA has given me light within. I am not alone anymore. Thank You all for keeping me sober Today.


Member: cb
Location: ca
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 10:11 PM

Comments

Hey everyone...88 days today...I know the steps work, and I am approaching my 4th step with my sponsor. I am very impatient and want my life to transform immediately, I don't want to have the urge to do things I have always done, and find myself basically just very dang uncomfortable, most of the time yet I feel as though i am in the palm of God's hand... strange times..best and worst...love to all cb


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 10:55 PM

Comments

Hey everyone. Rhonda here. As you already know from my last post I had surgery this past monday. I am still in a lot of pain and because of the pain I want to drink to feel numb. In my mind if I feel numb from alcohol I won't feel the physical pain. I also know that is just my mind trying to trick me into drinking and so I won't allow that to happen. This is day 24 for me and I am happy about that. Now that I am laid up I am finding that it gets pretty lonely around my place even though I have a friend staying with me I still feel alone. Congrats to everyone for another 24 hours. I talked to a friend of mine today who has been sober and clean now for 44 years. He told me he would be more than happy to go to a meeting of my choice when I am able to get out and about again. I am thankful for that. I keep chickening out when the time comes for me to leave for the meetings. I have a fear of groups. It will be a great challenge for me to go to a meeting but I will be relieved when I do. Hope all is well for everyone. Thanks for listening.


Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 11:08 PM

Comments

I'm Gage and I am an alcoholic. JASON, all you need in order to consider yourself a member in good standing of AA is to have a desire to stop drinking. As far as whether or not you are actually an alcoholic is concerned, there is a very good description of what happens to an alcoholic when he takes a drink in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, in the chapter called The Doctor's Opinion. It was written in the 1930's and I'm sure medical science has learned a lot more about alcohol addiction since then, but as far as giving a practical description of how an alcoholic reacts to the first drink goes, I think this hits the nail pretty squarely on the head. I'm not talking about the external things that happens to us when we drink like picking fights and landing in jail and such. Those things do happen to some of us, but what I mean, and what this chapter concerns itself with, is what happens on the inside. read it and see if you identify with it.


Member: Ardis - a female alcoholic
Location: Brandon, Fl & So Calif. Mtns
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 11:15 PM

Comments

: Fending off loneliness in the beginning is so very hard. Especially in the end of my drinking days when I had become an isolated drinker, behind the closed drapes and doors. I walked into AA meetings drunk, I was THAT scared. (((FC))) I understand the paralyzing fear, the fear of going to that first AA meeting, what to expect, what will "they" think of me, etc. (EGO). I knew I was an alcoholic for years, proud to say that while I was drinking, some are sicker than others, *grin. I finally started to go to AA meetings DRUNK, because I could not bring the courage up to go sober or dry. I did that off and on for 9 months. I was not disruptive, I was always invited back with: Keep coming back (KCB) without a drink IN the meetings and in between the meetings, Ardis, AA works better sober! Finally, finally it clicked after 9 months and a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism started to happen, (that is what the Big book tells me on page 569) Complaining in meetings that I was so lonely and lost, did not know what to do with my time, brought me back to crocheting, knitting, and reading. Even back to swimming and spas. More complaining I did in meetings brought me to help out our local AA Central Office. From there on to Intergroup Rep, GSR, involvement in Roundups and Conventions, before I knew it I could not go anywhere or somebody knew me and came up to say Hi. Before I knew it I was sponsoring people in AA, and I have never been lonely after that again. I believe the sponsee helps the sponsor just as much, it is a two-way street, ALONE I could not, together WE can! We CAN recover from a hopeless state of mind and body (xiii BB), the Solution is in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the Foreword through page 164. And in many of the stories in the back to identify if YOU really are an alkie. The Big Book has chapters like There is a Solution, How it Works, Into Action and Working with Others. To get there YOU have to do certain steps, and a new wonderful world will open up, we alkies did not have an inkling about. All I can share is Donít Miss Out, itís there for the taking, Ardis - omardis@yahoo.com


Member: alex s
Location: monterey ca
Date: September 18, 2002
Time: 11:57 PM

Comments

hi my name is alex and i am an alcoholic i have been the skid row type alcoholic sleeping outdoors etc. since i was about 16 years old its lonly living on the streets especially when you notice your normies driving by going to there nice warm homes. at about 18 i started stealing in order to stay drunk i got caught a lot and ended up in prisonihave since speny over 10 years in prison alonely 10 years today ihave 10 months 10 days sober i have a home of my own for the first time in my life and im 36 now!!!!this is all from the program!!! iwent to90 in 90 igot a sponsor and did what was suggested im on my 8th step im going to be a dad in 7 months wowwhat a tripalex p.s. sorry about the spelling etc. this is my first time on the computer ihave stolen and sold afew but never used one


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 12:07 AM

Comments

Great reply from all of you's, Thanks ((Ardis)) you pin pointed me very well. Its all a ego trip for me, I failed to mentioned in my above post that I have been drinking for 20+ years, I actually stayed sober for about five years. Just to try and prove I can control anything I do! I even hit rock bottom and still achieve this by myself, My thing is "if you think you have a problem, then stop, Whats so hard about that", those words get me where I am now. Always want to do things for myself. But, listen up people, Its not your way, or you will continesly fail, its the way of the program, if you believe in the program it will help you. Only when you are ready to stop the drink, even though you think you can't. People are out there ready to help you pick your self up! We do care!!!!


Member: Bob B
Location: Vanderbilt Mi
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 09:14 AM

Comments

Bob B. alcoholic..I sit here with tears running down my face, and a lump in my throat. Lonely? No. Overwhelmed by the sincerity and honesty here. I have not been to an AA meeting in over a year and I have over 18 years sober. I didn't realize what I was missing. You have shown me. Thanks a million all of you. In your darkness and dispair, your fear and your hopelness you have covered me with a ray of sunshine I won't forget. I will return. "when we always do what we always did, we'll always get what we always got" Dr Silkworth said it...we must have an entire psychic change. Keep coming back everyone..it works. Honestly, cause I bet my life on it. God bless you all


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 09:46 AM

Comments

Bill P., alcoholic. Bob B. - Why did you stop going to meetings for a year? As a new AA (four months), I'm really hooked on the meetings. I find they keep me focused on what's important for my recovery, and they are a repetitive reminder that I am alcoholic, and that I need to work the program in order to gain spiritual health again. Thanks for be here Bob, and keep coming back. You are a fine example for a new comer. Peace.


Member: Jo
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 09:49 AM

Comments

Good morning! Jo here....10 days!


Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, Texas
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 10:07 AM

Comments

Great day to be sober. I'm an alcoholic named Curtis. Grateful for AA because I know I don't have to drink today, just today. Fending off loneliness is sometimes difficult, but it can be done. AA has helped me do it by helping me become aware of why I was lonely so long, and why I can still be lonely. Pat H mentioned self pity and Ed mentioned weirdo. Have you ever thought that you were different? I did. Have you ever felt sorry for yourself because you just felt down? I did. And I can still do these things if I don't use the tools of living honestly. I'm not unique. Oh I'm a separate person from you but we have a lot in common. I need to concentrate on our similarities rather than our differences. I also need to be grateful for what I have rather than depressed because I don't have everything I want. I'm a kid that needs to grow up, and I'm trying to do that in AA. It will work for me today if I work it, but if I continue in my old childish ways of thinking, I'll still get the same old feelings. And some days I do that. I'm just a human being trying to learn to live without alcohol and with reality. AA is the only thing that has worked for me, but other things may work for other people. The fellowship, you people here, keep me going. Like Bob B posted above, your honesty and sincerity have warmed my heart and helped me. Thank you all for being here. Love and Hugs in the fellowship of the heart, Curtis L


Member: Bobby A.
Location: Texas
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 10:17 AM

Comments

Im Bobby and Im an alcoholic.To Ed C. in North Jersey,I know how you feel man.I was doing the 2 or 3 day thing too for a long time and scared out of my mind.Being scared is a symptom that we all have experienced in this disease especially in our latest phase of drinking .I dont know if it could be deemed as progress but you seem to definately know that you are having a problem.I encourage you to go to a meeting as soon as you can and get a big book.Its there waiting for you to take it.All you need to do is be willing and if I can do it so can you.Take care and come back!


Member: Karen C
Location: MI
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 11:24 AM

Comments

Karen C here!Good Morning my Friends. I woke up to my 9th day of sobriety! I feel so good. My kids and nephews are beginning to ask me to do things, like please come to my High School class and help out with a project. Thanks to my Higher Power and my AA family (you)


Member: J.R. G
Location: Texas
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 11:56 AM

Comments

Today is going to be day one. I hope I make it.


Member: Cyn A
Location: Mobile, Alabama
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 12:26 PM

Comments

I finally decide to checkout this page... This is exactly what I need right now! I have so isolated myself that I think loneliness is my friend, I am trying to control my alcohol and am to the point where I can go 3 or 4 days without drinking. I am also at home all day by myself and have no desire to go out. It`s been a long time since I actually went to a meeting but you`ve all got me thinking. I know I can`t do this by myself. thanks for being here I`m so glad I found you all. Cyn-A@webtv.net


Member: Ed C.
Location: North Jersey
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 12:30 PM

Comments

Day 3 and it feels great not waking up with that physical and emotional hangover! Thanks to Texas Curtis and Bobby for the feedback. I've had a BB for a while and starting reading it earnestly on day 0 - maybe that'show I got to day 3? Anyway, I know a big problem is letting other control MY emotions. I've learned in the past short 3 days that it's MY problem that YOU feel that way. Yes, My problem because I let it get to me. Well, now I'm adjusting to normalacy and coming to grips everytime something irks me (every 5 minutes). With the Lord's help (and only His), I'll be alright. Thanks for listening.


Member: Barb
Location: Md
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 12:41 PM

Comments

I jsut found this web site and curious to know what a few of you think, if I am an alcoholic. I drink a bottle of wine every night and have for the past approx 14 years. Depending on how much I eat during the day sometimes I have hangovers sometimes not - usually I feel good, lots of energy, never a run in with the law, never drink daytime, occasionally act like an ass at parties and embarrass myself and husband but mostly not, occasionally forget what I said night before, but mostly not, am a good mom very involved with kids and school. am I kidding myself and need AA?? Have thought about this issue alot but not sure what to do. Have to go but will check back when I get home. I am awed by everyones honesty.


Member: Melissa
Location: Florida
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 01:16 PM

Comments

Hi All Melissa here - alcoholic Congrats to everyone who has not had a drink today! Work it, your worth it! HAVE A GREAT DAY Melissa


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 01:19 PM

Comments

Bill P., alcoholic. Karen C - congrats on 9 days! I had much the same realization from the start. I felt good again and people noticed the change, so they started relating to me in much more pleasant ways. That is one of the miracles this program provides. All we have to do is work the program to the best of our ability and God takes care of the rest. J.R. G - Glad you're here. That's how "we" do it, one day at a time. I had no clue what that meant until I walked through the doors of AA. My prayers are with you. Keep coming back! Barb - you sound like my wife. I certainly cannot say whether you have a problem with alcohol or not. What I can recommend is to try some controlled drinking next time. By that I mean, have one or two glasses of wine and put the bottle away. See what happens. In my case, I inevitably had to ask myself the question, why do find it "necessary" to drink everyday?. I tried to control my beer consumption in many, many ways and in the end, realized that I believed that I had to drink to relax, to celebrate, to grieve, to cope, to socialize, and on and on.... Keep coming back, I would like to see what you think of my suggestion. Enjoy this day everyone, it's the only one that counts! Peace.


Member: Melissa
Location: Florida
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 01:26 PM

Comments

Hi Melissa - alcoholic BARB- I was a good involved mother, no run ins with the law , no DUI, didn't lose my husband,house, family.....no of that YET ! I am only a drink away. Alcoholism is a progresive disease. If you are questioning yourself....you might want to talk to someone in AA. Go to a few meetings in your area, it can't hurt anything Good luck Melissa


Member:
Location:
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 01:37 PM

Comments


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 02:53 PM

Comments

Hi Barb in MD, I drank much like you do for 20 or so years before my consumption crept up on me and my forgetting things from the night before became more frequent as did my embarrassing family at parties and so forth. I was an involved mother too, never trouble with the law and so forth, but I could not stop drinking and I drank every day. By the end I could not control my intake. I might start out to just have two or three and I might do that and then again I might end up staggering blind drunk. I never knew. My suggestion is to try not drinking for 30 days, if you don't miss it - fine - it's just a habit.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 02:54 PM

Comments

To Barb From MD. If you are unsure as to whether you are or are not an alcoholic check out this webpage. It will help you answer some questions for you (assuming you are honest with yourself). http://www.aa.org/english/E_Pamphlets/P-3_d1.html God Bless


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 02:57 PM

Comments

Hi ((Barb)) and Welcome. Do you want to stop drinking that bottle of wine but find that you can't? Maybe one night you say, "Okay. I'll only have 2 glasses of wine after the kids go to bed" but find that after the 2 glass limit you are finding reasons to have a third.. then what the heck, might as well have the fourth and finish the bottle? Even if the outside stuff is okay, do you find that the inside of you is not? If you answered yes to any of these scenarios, then perhaps you are "one of us." But only you can determine if you are or not. Why not call information and get the number to the closest AA General Service near you and try a meeting? Like someone said above, it can't hurt and who knows ~ maybe you'll identify with what you hear and want to come back! Best wishes to you.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 03:26 PM

Comments

Deb, here alcoholic, Barb you wouldn't even be looking for this site, if you didn't feel you had a probelm. I was, am the best mother in the world, but ask my son how many basket6ball games that I went to and don;t even know I was there how many boy scout awards that he got, when he got a medal from the big wig of the Army, I can't even remember HER name. There is nothing that I can do to give that back to him, all I can give him is today, and He loves me, You better think about what you are doing, not 30 days from now!


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 03:34 PM

Comments

Deb, here alcoholic, Barb you wouldn't even be looking for this site, if you didn't feel you had a probelm. I was, am the best mother in the world, but ask my son how many basket6ball games that I went to and don;t even know I was there how many boy scout awards that he got, when he got a medal from the big wig of the Army, I can't even remember HER name. There is nothing that I can do to give that back to him, all I can give him is today, and He loves me, You better think about what you are doing, not 30 days from now!


Member: Melisa
Location:
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 03:43 PM

Comments

Melissa again. Barb- Drink one glass per night, that is it. No matter what...good day, bad day, company for dinner, celebrating any thing, being alone! If you can't do just that one glass......well, In my opion maybe you should find yourself a meeting. Good luck Melissa


Member: na
Location: na
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 03:53 PM

Comments

Melissa, must6 be you still drink?


Member: Bobby A.
Location: Texas
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 03:56 PM

Comments

Im Bobby Im an alcoholic,to Barb in MD,I drank for twenty some odd years and I never had any trouble so to speak or lost anything like a house or job but like Melissa said there were alot of "yets" that didnt happen thanks to God.I used to drink to "enhance" everthing thatI did but it finally progressed into insanity.The stuff just didnt work anymore and the party was over.I couldnt live with it and I couldnt live without it.but like everyone has already said you have to decide whther you are one of us or not.The fact that you are even thinking about it may give you some indication.God bless.


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 03:58 PM

Comments

(Barb in MD) All those responses to your query were right on. Controlling your drinking. Stopping for a period of time and see how you feel. One thing that I'll add is for you to consider if you have any alcoholism in your family. I don't know if science has nailed this down yet but the evidence for a genetic component is very strong in the lab and off the charts in the halls of AA. Someone else mentioned the progressive nature of alcoholism. It can be very subtle in how it progresses. It is also the only disease that tells you that you don't have a disease. Someone else noted that you need to be honest with your appraisal of your feelings regarding controlled drinking or temporary dry trial period. If you are indeed an alcoholic and your disease is progressing that honesty will take the form of a struggle in your mind to what you feel and what you want your 'answers' to be. If you're not an alcoholic it won't be a struggle. Even if you conclude that you're not an alcoholic you may want to moderate your drinking. A good buzz kills off anyone's brain cells, and they don't grow back.


Member: Melissa
Location: Florida
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 04:13 PM

Comments

NA......What?


Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 04:36 PM

Comments

To fend off loneliness I hug people. I have a large extended family (50 if you can believe that) so there is always someone to hug. I also call another drunk to meet for coffee or stay after a meeting to chat. Some old timers will let my ramble till Iím through without ever looking at their watch. They are so patient, I want what they have. ((Ed)) Day 3! Way to go. Day 4 was when my body started to function without any residual affects of booze. The shaking stopped, my BMs returned to normal, I started sleeping again. By the end of the week I had almost forgot how bad the hangovers were. I have had over 1000 bad hangovers. Yes, I counted, or estimated. BTW, bad means puking or thinking you will, or wishing you would. Back when I still craved a drink, people would tell me to think through the drink, and that is what I thought about. I thought about just how f$%#ing bad the hangovers were. ((Barb)) Since you have lots of advice, I'll just say that I admire you. I admire anyone who tries to better herself, and by doing so, betters the world. You decide if putting down the wine makes your life better. I know my life is sooooo much better. Some days I notice all the blessings in my life (they were there before I was just too drunk to notice) and I feel my heart will likely burst. Been an AA member since November 01, have almost 4 months sober today. But most importantly, I am completely present for this 24 hours. Thanks for being here with me. Peace


Member: Barb
Location: Md
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 04:43 PM

Comments

I'm overwhelmed by the response - I probably wasn't accurate and honest either about how much I drink since I buy wine in the box (no one can check to see how much you've drank) so I don't really know exactly how much it is. As far as genetics my Dad was an alcoholic and my Mom was at the very least a heavy drinker - my Dad's liver blew out so he gave it up, my mom never did. Bill P - does it bother you that your wife drinks every night?? Is it a problem - thanks to everyone for your wonderful responses.


Member: Derek W.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 05:14 PM

Comments

This is my first day. I woke up again this morning with a hangover and for the first time realized I have a problem. I just found this site. As I am at work and type this I am so scared. I feel like I should have woke up a long time ago. I was really encouraged by all of your comments and plan to become an avid member. Any tips for someone who has just relized he has a drinking problem?


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 06:56 PM

Comments

To Derek W. As stated earlier, you might want to consider visiting the following WEB page: http://www.aa.org/english/E_Pamphlets/P-3_d1.html There are 12 questions only you can answer. If you answer them honestly, this should help you decide whether drinking is a problem in you life. You also might want to visit the following sites: http://e-aa.org/html/aa.html and Bill's story, the AA Big Book, Chapter 1 at the following site: http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/chapter_1.html After visiting these three sites, if yo decide you may have a problem, you may want to consider getting to an AA meeting. If you are still unsure you have a problem, you may want to consider the following as stated in Chapter 3 of the AA Big Book: "We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition." God bless.


Member: Buddy S.
Location: near New Orleans
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 08:22 PM

Comments

Buddy, an alcoholic. Just checking in. Finding all posts meaningful. No excuse to feel lonely when all of you guys are just a click away. Thanks to all. Keep comming back.


Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 09:12 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam - an alcoholic. WELCOME so many new here!- good to see you & great to have you! When new, I didn't have time to think of whether I was lonely or not. I was 12-Stepped to my 1st mtg by a man who turned me over to a woman in his Home Group as soon as we arrived & they told me she was my Sponsor until I can pick one myself & I had to phone her each morning. Then they had a little address book & took me around & introduced me to all the others who had done their 12 Steps & were STAYING sober - & told me these are the people to call when I need rides or have questions my sponsor can't answer or need help to not drink or just plain don't know what to do with myself. Each one wrote their phone # in the book - asked for mine - but each day one or several of them would phone me, offer rides to mtgs, etc. I felt very cared about. My sponsor also had me join a Home Group to start getting active in the program with. At 1st I assisted the coffee maker this group already had. I went early to mtgs to help set up, was a greeter at the door, helped to clean up after. All of these kept me busy & steadily meeting new people who are sober. I soon began making sober friends to go shopping or do lunch or other daytime activities with. After the nightly mtg I'd join the bunch who went to Denny's. On weekends the members had activities we could bring our families to - bowling, cook-outs, pot-lucks at a member's home - things like that. Each day my sponsor gave me BB reading assignments to journal & then call to discuss w/her next morning. She was on call for 12-Step calls & would take me along to just listen & learn how its done. Between this & my home life & family I didn't have time to even think "lonely" - I was kept way too busy. But when I finally got up to Step 9 of my 12 Steps & began making a few amends - that is when I first truly felt that I am "a part of" - not apart from - & always have ever since. Before AA - I would feel alone in a room full of people. Just get to a mtg each day, get phone #'s, get a Sponsor - join a Home Group & keep offering to help out. It's amazing. thanks for letting me share.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 09:13 PM

Comments

Patricia - alcoholic. I agree Buddy, just reading everyone's postings makes me feel less lonely. Today is only my 4th day sober, and the craving has been pretty bad today, but I got thru it. I'm not even a beer drinker, but there happened to be a beer in the refrigerater and as ((Gage)) had advised me earlier (when I had Vodka in the house) - I asked my husband to dump it out, because I wasn't so sure I would if I opened it. I think I floored my husband. I worry sometimes because he just keeps saying how proud he is of me, it almost seems liked added pressure. I shouldn't complain, he's such a very loving wonderful husband and friend. Going along with some of the conversation today, I too am a mom and an alcoholic. I have been PTO president, lunch supervisor, sub cook, and all time volunteer at my children's school -all the while I was going home and drinking myself to sleep every night. I had many friends who had NO idea! I just didn't drink during the day. We have since moved to a new area and a new school, and since I wasn't as involved, I used that as an excuse to just start drinking earlier in the day. I was feeling isolated and lonely in a new place. I haven't lost a house, a job, been in trouble with the law or anything -that's why one of my biggest questions was "Do I have to 'hit bottom' to get help?". I have hit MY bottom - I got scared for my kids, my husband and myself. I didn't want alcohol to even BEGIN to ruin my life. It was already causing enough havoc inside ME - emotionally, psycically, and psychologically. I thank everyone on this site and a special thank you to ((GAGE)) for some early help with all my questions. Day 4 has been hard - first day I felt cravings, but I did it - with the help of this site and most of all God! Congrats to everyone for another day sober. Hugs to all, Patricia H.


Member: x
Location: y
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 09:21 PM

Comments

Well Cage does say he is a spirital giant (giant ego that is)


Member: Rebecca
Location: Sarasota, FL.
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 10:32 PM

Comments

Hi ((((Family))) Rebecca, alkie in discovery for 2 years and 5 months now--and yes, I qualify as new b/c I just started working the steps in the last three months. NOT a wise move, but I'm stubborn, full of G-D pride and think I know how to drive this car! HA! That's for another day. So good and SO inspiring to see all the posts here. Loneliness was my concern when I stopped drinking--what the heck was I going to DO when I wasn't at the bars!!!!??? I used alcohol as a vehicle to get me out of the house--made me feel brave and acceptable in the world! Feelings of granduer and all that! Yep, I bought into the BIG LIE. So, I was damn scared when I held onto my steering wheel with both hands SO tight--with my white chip IN MY MOUTH just to get past that intersection where I'd turn to go "party". I was so anxious and scared--and I DID IT!!! Then, there was the empty, quiet apartment. That was me. Empty and quiet. Who the hell was I now without booze?? THAT is the excitement of this DISCOVERY program. It's hard, it's scary and we are SOOOOO WORTH it!!! oh yeah! KEEP COMING BACK! Love, Rebecca


Member: John H
Location: Pa
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 10:39 PM

Comments

Hi, John an alcoholic..I'm back trying to get and stay sober after too many relapses to count.This is my first day without my best friend Vodka. Never lonely with booze. Like so many others I drank alone and secretly. Now that's really lonely. Hope to post sober again.


Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: September 19, 2002
Time: 11:41 PM

Comments

I am feeling so grateful to this site (that I discovered just a few days ago). I am crying because I feel encouraged after feeling depressed for 2 days. I didn't do so well last night and tonight, but after reading everyone's posts I feel so much better and tomorrow will be the start of a new day plus I ordered the big Book and it should be coming tomorrow. Patricia H in Mich I am so happy you made it thru the 4th day feeling those cravings and the tears really started coming when I read what you said about your husband being so proud and feeling the pressure - my husband is out of town and called and asked how I was doing and I said not great - I felt his disappointment but he was wonderful and was encouraging but I know he doesn't fully understand since he can easily drink just a half glass of wine and leave the rest. I totally related about being the super volunteer etc and friends don't really know the extent of the prob. I feel like a fraud half the time. Am really disgusted with myself right now but am looking forward to tomorrow. Everyone on this site is so inspiring with their honesty and I feel much much less lonely with this thing when I read everyones encouraging words.


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 12:35 AM

Comments

Hey marie, I can relate, sorry you have been crying your self to death, that know one knows the extent of our problem but us. From continuing reading the post I also am more inspired!!! and yes, also am chickening out to walk thru the front doors. I see your also from "CA" exactly from what part? Maybe we can make the transition together if your not that far away. Having at least someone by yourside can and least ease the fear. But, really what do we have to be scared about, that someone is actually going to tell us the truth! I can deal with that somewhat, to hear us from someone else. Might be a wake up call!!! Hope you still intend on going. My first meeting will be tomorrow!!!Its a promise, "like it or not" I still choice to live and not get to rock bottem. Don't feel lonely anymore, cause be all can relate. Thats what will bring us thru!!!!!Take care and God Blesss!!!!


Member: Robin
Location: Fl
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:29 AM

Comments


Member: Madelaine E.
Location: South Texas
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:56 AM

Comments

Regards to all, new and old! I'm here only to say how proud I am of all of you! God bless you all for trying to stay sober! Yesterday was day 60 for me. I promptly went out, bought a bottle, and got drunk! Then my husband went and bought me another bottle! Here I am, posting after drinking, and feeling very ashamed. I tried very hard these last days to stay sober. I thought I was being honest. Now I have to admit that I was deluding myself. I was just trying to stay sober until I thought I could handle that next drink. Here I am. Drunk. Loving the feeling, and ashamed at the same time. I have no excuses. Nothing has changed, although I wanted it to. Here I am drinking again. I wish I could say I hate it, but right now I am okay with it. Thanks, Anne C, Stacy E. , Gage, Curtis... I love you all. You cared when few others did. I'm sorry I didn't make the grade. I really did try.


Member: Ardis
Location: Congratulations to All
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 04:26 AM

Comments

(((Kudos to ALL of you, sober or not))) Amazing how many newcomers in one week, have a desire to stop drinking or stay sober. DO the Actions as outlined in the Big Book of AA and the Result will Follow, I promise you that. ((((( Laurie, Alex G, Alex S, Andrea L, Ann Ma, Anne C, Annie M, Avery L, Barb Md, Beth H, Bill P, Bob B, Bobby A, Buddy S, CB, Craig L, Cyn A, Deb D, Derek W, Donny W, Ed C, FC, Gage, Jack H, Jaimie W, Jason C, Jay NY, Jen C, Jo, Jo Anne D, John H, J.R. G Tx, Karen C, Lauren K, Madelaine Tx, Marie CA, Mark D, Marsha L, Melissa Fl, Miranda, Pat LS, Patricia H, Rhonda G, Roxanne B, Sara K, Sarah, Shawn Philly, Stacy E, Todd T, Tony A, Vee )))))


Member: Beto L
Location: Tampico, Mexico
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 04:36 AM

Comments

My name is Beto and I am an alcoholic. By the grace of God and the help of AA I'm sober again today, and I've been sober since I attended my first AA meeting in 1975. I have spent years living alone in sobriety without being lonesome. I know that wherever I go there are friends in the fellowship of AA aiting for me. Sometimes we don't speak the same languages, but we understand each other on the common ground of alcoholism and recovery via the steps. Thank God for the good, and thank God for the bad. Beto


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 06:47 AM

Comments

Madelaine E, when I first started trying to stay sober my brother used to call me up to congratulate on one week, 30 days etc. I had to tell him to stop. It just felt like a lot of pressure to me, to be counting the days. My boy was down in Florida visiting him and he gave Chris (my son) a 60 day chip to give to me. I had to give it back.(That was horrible but I could not lie to my son, I had bought a bottle on the way back from taking him to the airport) I started trying to get sober in August of last year and I got to 60 days twice before drinking again. I stopped counting days, stopped looking at number of days sober as some kind of scorecard and then things went better for me. It's been over eight months now but I try to only look at the fact that I didn't drink yesterday and I hope not to drink today. Just try to look at it as a learning experience, pick yourself up and get back on the horse. There is no grade to make or not make. Trying is all there is. There's a woman who posts on the Coffee Pot (I've had the pleasure of meeting her and she is a wonderful lady) anyway she always signs her posts : "I cannot fail, until I stop trying!"


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 07:09 AM

Comments

To Madelaine E. If you are alcoholic and you ever become as willing to sober up as the dying can be, you will be back. Chapter 5 states "if you want what we have & are willing to go to any length to get it." If you are seriously alcoholic, I sincerely hope you do come back. The choices for a practicing alcoholic are not good. God Bless


Member: RobinA
Location: Florida
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 07:24 AM

Comments

Hmmm...somebody trying to post under my name at-G~d forbid...3:29am?! Left them speechless anyway. I was sleeping like a baby at the time-thanks for thinking of me, darling. Some are weirder than others. Have a good day-rigorous honesty...pfffftttttt!!!!!


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 07:51 AM

Comments

((Madelaine E))Since you were drunk when you posted I'm not sure if you expressed yourself correctly but you did say- "loving the feeling and ashamed at the same time...no excuses." If you are an alcoholic that balance will shift. I didn't quit drinking because I didn't like booze anymore- I quit because it stopped working. I didn't get the glow anymore. Or if I did it was extremely short-lived. I simply couldn't drink enough to get that old feeling back. You might get to that point too. Frankly, some of us need to have our asses kicked by booze before we can deal with it. I'm not sure if your husband was unsupportive of your trying to stop drinking; disgusted or if he is just pussywhipped, but buying another bottle for someone who is celebrating their 60th day of sobriety is pretty whacked. If you decide to try it again please don't have any reservations. Very few of us who are sober did it on the first or second try. Most of those that did make it on the first try were usually out of options.Take care.


Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 08:31 AM

Comments

Great day to be Sober everyone! ((Madeline)) I've heard that there's nothing worse than a belly full of booze and a head full of AA. I hope the booze leaves you and the AA sticks. I sobered up in January of this year, by the Grace of God. I found AA shortly after, when I realized I couldn't do it myself. I started with this site (staying cyber) and the good folks here talked me into going to face to face meetings. It was very hard to go at first, but now I couldn't do without all the support I get there as well. I just wanted to tell you all how grateful I am to be living without alcohol, and how much better my life is now. Thank God and this program, without I'm sure I would be dead by now. Frank


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 09:45 AM

Comments

Bill P., alcoholic. Hi Barb, thanks for responding. My wife drinks wine "by the box". One of the things I found out, once I admitted that I was an alcoholic, is that in early sobriety it bothers me to be around people that are drinking for lengths of time, or on a routine basis. My sponsor tells me this is a normal reaction. Yes, it does bother me, but that reaction is me judging how someone else drinks. I have to be careful about taking someone else's inventory, especially early (four months sober) in the program. I'm glad that you are taking an honest look at your drinking. I've come to believe that if I have to "control" drinking, it means that I definitely have a problem with alcohol. I denied having the disease for many years, until the pain, loneliness, and isolation got to be too much for me to handle. I had no peace and serenity left. I surrendered to the fact that I needed help, so here I am. You are in my thoughts and I hope you keep coming back. Peace.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 09:45 AM

Comments

Bill P., alcoholic. Hi Barb, thanks for responding. My wife drinks wine "by the box". One of the things I found out, once I admitted that I was an alcoholic, is that in early sobriety it bothers me to be around people that are drinking for lengths of time, or on a routine basis. My sponsor tells me this is a normal reaction. Yes, it does bother me, but that reaction is me judging how someone else drinks. I have to be careful about taking someone else's inventory, especially early (four months sober) in the program. I'm glad that you are taking an honest look at your drinking. I've come to believe that if I have to "control" drinking, it means that I definitely have a problem with alcohol. I denied having the disease for many years, until the pain, loneliness, and isolation got to be too much for me to handle. I had no peace and serenity left. I surrendered to the fact that I needed help, so here I am. You are in my thoughts and I hope you keep coming back. Peace.


Member: Jo
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 10:06 AM

Comments

Jo here....11 days! Barb...Boxes were my forte and I'm a great mom, involved in school and church, great marriage, ect... I'm an alcoholic. I had 7 1/2 years, now I have 11 days. I've never been in trouble, except my own personal misery about being chained to a box of wine and all the things that go with that. Try to go a few days with out that box...you'll have all the answers you need... I'm so glad you're here...=)


Member: Karen C
Location: Michigan
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 11:15 AM

Comments

Karen here, an alcoholic. Good morning my friends. Thank you all for your encouraging posts. What a wonderful site this is. I am keeping track of my days sober because, being a bookkeeper by trade it is a natural thing to encourage myself. 10 days today! Tonight is my first f2f meeting, and I am not scared any more about attending. Actually I am pretty excited about it. At this point in my life, daily I feel better, more alive, less lonely...and actually "high" on my life. It has been so long since I have had these good feeligs. Amazing. Please take this post as an encouragement to sobriety, a week ago I too was struggling. Thank you.


Member: Ed C.
Location: North Jersey
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 11:40 AM

Comments

Folks, there are so many great ideas and comments, I don't know where to begin! This is day 4 for me and I really do feel like a different person. Work really was a heavy pressure which I slept with last night, and started again as soon as I hit my desk. We'll, without that nasty booze cr*p in my body I was finally able to quench the problems and actually make sense to my boss and others! Wow! Reality, what a concept! Anyway, life is much "gooder" and I'm praying that it keeps going that way. Peace and thanks for listening.


Member: Marie
Location: Ca.
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 12:24 PM

Comments

To FC - I live in No Ca. - are you No. or So.?? I would love to have someone to go with - I know a few heavy drinkers I'd like to ask but I think thats a little like asking a fat person if they'd like to join weight watchers. This morning my daughter asked me about a show we were watching last night and I couldn't remember how it ended. She said I was acting "weird" I feel horrible. Thats it. Madelaine, maybe try not to look at it like starting over or that you didn't make it - maybe look at it like day 61 with 1 slip (like you need advice from me)- I think you're awesome for going 60 days - it's inspiring, slip or not. I didn't even make it 4. I laugh when I read people buying the "box" - I have bought wine in a box for years - cheaper, no one can tell how much you've drank, and less embarrassment in recyle bin. How disgusting.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 12:36 PM

Comments

To Jo: I can really ID with what you said. I had the same fate a while ago. Almost 15 years in the program & went out there. My issue however was the painful realization that I didn't have a program. I was into the "don't drink & go to meetings" & not the 12 steps. Then again, that was the kind of AA I was introduced to & thought that was AA. It wasn't until I started slipping after 15 years of sobriety & became "as willing as the dying can be" that I found out that the approach I was shown was not the original AA Program, but rather a "weak cup of tea approach" to AA. My current sponsor sent me 2 books by mail. While none of these books are AA approved literature, I began to read them & realized that my biggest problem was my disease was not treated properly. For any of you who ever get a chance, please consider get these 2 books. One is called "The steps we took" by Joe McQ. The other is written by Wally P. & portrays documented evidence of what early AA was really like. Great reading & great insight into recovery if anyone is interested God Bless to you all in sobriety.


Member: Jo
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 02:25 PM

Comments

Thanks Pat H for the titles. I never read Joe's book but will now. I did get to hear a tape of he nd someone else...wonderful!! Of my 7 1/2 non-drinking years about 6 were quality sobriety. And I did what everyone says gets them drunk...I quit going to meetings. Now I go. I have a sponsor I call and talke to several times a week. I read AA stuff every day and these 11 days are what I remember. You can go home again...you just have to work at it. =) Have a wonderful day!


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 02:43 PM

Comments

I just made a comment and I guess that it was taken out, thanks alot


Member: Bobby A.
Location: Texas
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 02:46 PM

Comments

Im Bobby Im an alcoholic,90 days today yawll!!To Madelaine,dont beat yourself up about whats happened.Remember what the Big Book says about us:none of us can keep anything like perfect adherence to these principles.You can start over right where your at because theres nothing but future and the past is exactly what it is.Next time you get 60 days take the lead with your husband and celebrate by taking him to an open meeting.God bless everyone and thanks for lettin me share.


Member: Deb D
Location: Vermont
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 02:51 PM

Comments

Who is screening my letters, I thought that we could say whatever it was that we were feeling, thinking?


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:04 PM

Comments

Thanks Pat for the book titles. Madelaine - Nobody's perfect, so don't beat yourself up over it. I'm just glad that you are being honest. Always remember, today is the only day that counts, yesterday is gone....tomorrow is yet to come. My wife also drinks, but I find as long as I remind her how important my sobriety is, she realizes how much better off I am. I must be assertive about how important this sobriety thing is. If I don't take care of myself, I can't be of service to anyone else, my wife, or my children. Thanks for being here and my prayers are with you. Keep coming back! Peace.


Member: Dean
Location: Iowa
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:05 PM

Comments

I'm Dean, an alcoholic who is just realizing the true nature and extent of this disease. I am in my late 30's and have known for some time that I drank too much. However, drinking was too good of a friend to leave behind. I attended my first meetings about 7 months ago and enjoyed the experience. I gave up the bottle for 45 days than slowly began falling back into my pattern of daily intoxication. I have been drinking steady again for almost 4 months and find I am drinking even more now than I did before. I drink til I hear the "click". I have been sober now for 48 hours and am hoping to stay the course. This website certainly gives me hope. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Ed C.
Location: North Jersey
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:24 PM

Comments

To Dean, I'll be traveling to Cedar Rapids next week, are you near there? Hang in - I tried several times and like you, always came back harder each time. I guess that's what the BB says about hitting bottom? Peace, and pray a lot.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:34 PM

Comments

Deb D... Why do you think anyone is screening our posts???? Staying Cyber is a pretty open forum with no censorship. Once in a while our posts go PPPFFTTTT~ off into space. Perhaps that is what is happening to yours? Please try again.


Member: Todd T.
Location: Chico, CA
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 03:37 PM

Comments

Everyone hang tough this weekend. It really is great to see so many people in the same position as I. Nine days and feelin' well. Everyone...pledge to hit at least two meetings this weekend! Best wishes to all.


Member: Tech
Location:
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 04:39 PM

Comments

Deb, Staying Cyber doesn't screen posts.


Member: Marionl
Location: Seattle
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 05:05 PM

Comments

Ok - I'm giving this a shot. Scared to death but at least it's from the "privacy" of my own home. Am a woman, wife, Mom, daughter, sister etc. and I drink 3 glasses of wine every night. I gave it up for 2 weeks, then went on vacation and after 3 days thought it wouldn't lead back to this consistency. Is it "normal" - feels normal but I need to save money and always find a way for the wine.


Member: Mike
Location:
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 05:25 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm Mike and I'm Feeling Pretty Lonely lately. I'm Buiding walls between myself and my Higher power with resentment and anger. Sometimes I don't even know why i'm angry,.. But it's not my fault..it's theirs.. I shouldn't have to put up with this shit!!! I'm miserable and I've got a right to be..I am not receiving the recognition for the splendid job I've done lately..They all need to bow down a bit more in my presence as I could Smite them down in an instant by the power of my might,I hate it when they drive me to wrath like this because I hold their fate in my omnipotent hand... If you cross me up, if you ruin my peace.. I will retaliate. I will make your life miserable!!! I am the spirit of hate. I am the same spirit that causes onne to murder , envy slander, causes divisions and strife and oh... Fear , yes ,also fear . I am a tyrant that will rule your life and emotions if you let me.. Confusion ,, Yes ..I thrive on confusion I am the Enemy of your soul My Name is Legion . for I am many.. Have a nice day!!!(A Dry drunk is still better than a wet one!!!)


Member: Bobby A.
Location:
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 06:14 PM

Comments

Mike, call somebody right now and talk to them.You need to get out of yourself ouickly


Member: Ken C. - dos 06/19/77
Location: Winnipeg
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 06:24 PM

Comments

Hi All, My name is Ken - I struggled for 18 years, but I'm now sober more than 25 years - does that mean you are going to kick me off here? LOL. If you are struggling with alcohlism, maybe what I have to offer may help. We often hear in AA that people who relapse (I did at least a half dozen times) are "not ready yet." To some extent this may be true, but doesn't that create a question as to what is required to be ready? How do we answer that? Do we have to become ready emotionally, by encountering a major crisis? Or can we become ready in the intellectual sense? I'm no expert, but I can tell you that it took both for me to "become ready" to accept the program on it's terms. Only the consequences of our drinking will provide the needed emotional impetus to stop for good (one day at a time), so I can't help much there, but I can provide some of the intellectual reasoning that helped me finally quit. As you may know, Step One of our program has two related parts. It states: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." The first intellectual clue is to ask why a hyphen or dash was placed between the two parts. For me, I finally substituted the word "therefore" for the hyphen. This of course translates into, "I am powerless over alcohol (therefore) my life has become unmanageable. After doing that, I asked, what do they mean by "unmanageable?" Unconsciously, I had been substituting the word "difficult" for the word unmanageable - and that meant I was still not convinced about any real or lasting unmanageability. No wonder I drank again! If we read page 7 of the Big Book, we see what Bill Wilson really meant by unmanageability. He saw the truth in the statement that he would very likely die within a year from a heart attack during the DT's. There was no AA to help him - the results (destination) was something he was totally helpless to MANAGE to AVOID. In my own case, I finally saw that I could not avoid hitting skid row. I was helpless to do so. But why was I helpless? That's where the first part of Step One comes in. In other words, the guaranteed destination of cataclysmic loss is guaranteed BECAUSE of this powerlessness over alcohol. But some object to this. How is one really powerless over alcohol? Well the truth is, that no one is powerless over a liquid called alcohol (provided they don't take it), but an alcoholic is powerless over his physical cravings for it, and over his mental obsession when not drinking to return to it (for comfort). In addition, he or she is powerless over the fact that being a drug, we have to steadily increase the dosage, not to get better results, but just to maintain the results we had been getting. The only problem with that is that one then becomes toxic where drinking no longer gives the high, yet stopping gives us the horrible withdrawl symptoms. So what are we powerless over? The obsessing to regain comfort, the cravings if we stop, and the progressiveness due to the body's tolerance factors. Intellectually at least, it is not too hard to see that all that is plain and simply, the cause that guarantees our inability to manage our lives to avoid ever increasingly difficult consequences. Only when we see the overwhelming evidence of the strength of our enemy can we surrender to the truth of our situation. Once that happens, the short term pain of not giving in is seen as not being as great as the long term pain of total loss. Until I saw all this, alcohol was still an option. Today it is not. Instead, today, I have daily comfort through the use of the 12 steps, and have enjoyed a wonderful life for the past 25 years. If you are having trouble today, take heart. Re-check the intellectual reasons above in the light of your own situation - it may help you to realize you are really beat, and that's the best news a newcomer can have. Bye for now. Love - Ken


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 07:09 PM

Comments

Hey marie, Unfortunelty I am So CA. But thank you for getting back. Okay, we have to do it for ourselves, so what. I know I'm getting sicker day by day for not going to a meeting yet! I actually hate this weekend cause I know how I will land up!(isolated and lonely) I made a commitment to myself to go to a meeting today, but I did take a first drink and of course you know where I'm at. To Mike, what!!! have you been drinking?? Yes, I feel all that when I'v been smashed. I think we all do if we can remember!Yes, I build walls that can reach the sky, and too no one can enter my barrier. But I know I have a drunk mind!! I think being A newcomer to AA is sometimes overwhelming. They are there to help, but only so much that they can do. We have to be willing to help ourself first. (But of course, who am I, to give you any advice!) I'm still battering my own brain right now! Take care and God Bless!!


Member: Buddy S.
Location: watching the weather
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 07:21 PM

Comments

Buddy, an alcoholic. Strange weather brewing in the Gulf. My email is rocking with tales of fear, horror and concern. We live on the Northern Shore of Lake Pontchartrain and have heavy exposure with a direct hit. Me, I'm more concerned about Hurricane Buddy than I am Hurricane Isadore. It's been a long time since I've weathered a big storm sober. Down here, even the Earth People get wasted when a big one is comming down on us. My disease is already lobbying me for a "special circumstances" relapse. Hope, however, reigns eternal thanks to my enabler-turned-Alanon, a big stash of Antabuse, ten white knuckles, and a genuine realization that I'm "sick and tired of being sick and tired"..and stupid, and sloppy, and cartoonish. ((Madelaine E.- If God wanted you to be perfect, you would be...two steps forward, one backward, but you'll get there eventually at that rate...give yourself a break)). If the storm hits New Orleans, I may be AWOL for a few days, but I intend to work my program regardless of all the drama that will bring. God, I just love drama! It works if you work it. Keep comming back.


Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 09:10 PM

Comments

FC - rats about the distance thing. So I take it tonight is your first meeting- please let us know how it went and how you felt etc. I wish you all the best - you are doing a brave thing!!!! With the weekend upon me i'm hearing the box calling me - going to try to be strong.


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 09:25 PM

Comments

Maybe I am not supposed to post today, I just lost my comments again (2nd time). They say the third time's a charm, so here goes!! I got a message saying "Bad Gateway", perhaps thats what happened to you DebD. Madelaine I felt so sorry and helpless when I read your post. I have never met you and probably never will but I will always consider you my friend, DRUNK or SOBER!! As someone said in their post (and you have many, that should tell you how many people care about you). You are not perfect, as none of us are but remember the old saying "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY, TRY AGAIN" and I know you will. I don't know why your husband bought you that 2nd bottle but I would like to think that it is because he cares and was trying to support you in any way he could, even though it was probably the worst thing he could have done. Please keep coming back I will miss you if you don't. Ardis, many thanks for the Kudos, it was really appreciated. God Bless everyone tomorrow is another day. I will remember you all in my prayers.


Member: Patrica H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 10:37 PM

Comments

Hello - this is Patricia H. - alcoholic!! Today is my wonderful 5th day of sobriety - strange (like I shared in coffee pot) that I am already looking for a reward for 1 week sober - and too bad the first thing I think of is a pint of liquor. Pitiful! Cravings are hard today, more so than yesterday - but I got thru it again - woo hoo!! Marie (CA) - I think we should share e-mails - we seem to be connected in so many ways. You talked about your husband, as did I, and my husband is really a non-drinker (I always joked about marrying my designated driver - not so funny anymore). Feeling like a fraud is right up my alley - nobody REALLY knows me - so I always take internally the "fact" that if they did, they really wouldn't like me. E-mail me - I would love to connect to you pjh4654@yahoo.com ((Madelaine)) - I have already responded to you in "Coffee Pot" - I really wish I could say I made it to 60 days! Be proud of yourself!! And if you wish to keep in touch with me, my e-mail address is above. ((Ardis)) - Thank you so much for visiting the 'early sobriety' and lending us the wisdom we need! ((Miranda)) - Thank you, you remind me that today is today. I understand the pressure, but we need to take care of ourselves at this point, which is what I keep telling my hubby - I can only be responsible for myself in this journey to sobriety - I need to stop worrying about disappointing him and worry about disappointing myself! ((Buddy)) Hold on there - I know the feeling of being "sick and tired" of being "sick and tired" - that was pretty much my "bottom". We are all here for you - anytime! ((Dean)) from Iowa - hang in here! I visited this site for the first time 5 days ago - and IIam amazed at the warmness, lovingness, acceptance, and wisdom you can get here - keep coming back - you also will be amazed!! GOD BLESS AND LOVE YOU ALL, Patricia H.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 20, 2002
Time: 10:42 PM

Comments

One more time tonight - After reading my posting above, it sounded to me like I thought I was an old "pro" at all this! To the contrary - I am very new at sobriety and the whole idea of AA - I just want to encourage and thank those who have helped me thus far! Please don't take my message any other way! Hugs, Patricia H.


Member: Bobby A.
Location: Texas
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 10:08 AM

Comments

Im Bobby Im an alcoholic,Patricia Ive got 91 days today and there are times when Im looking for some "reward" too regardless of what it is Ive done to think that I may deserve one and sometimes the thought of liquor crosses my mind as well but an old timer told me once that that happens to people with long sobriety as well.Just think of it this way, that your reward for your 5 days is that you have done them sober!!Hang in there and remember that the goal is not some reward but the journey


Member: concerned for the
Location: newcomers
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 01:55 PM

Comments

To whom it may concern, Please save any further posts for tomorrow as they will be wiped off this board in the morning and if you need feedback you won't get it. Go to the coffee pot page as that one rolls over and this one does not.


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 04:44 PM

Comments

For those who are unsure of how to save the page the process is the same for either Mac or PC. With the page open in your browser, (Internet Explorer or Netscape) under the File menu at the top of your screen go down to "Save As". By default it will save as a Web Archive meaning it saves all the graphics also. It will most likely save by default in your Documents folder, but take note of where it's being saved so you can find it again. The previous weeks meeting is saved in Archives on the Staying Cyber site (by date of when the meeting began, the previous Sunday) but I know that it can be difficult to find things in the Archives. If you have a Mac you can go to http://www.valley.net/~zelda/pot/savingpot.html and find directions on saving meetings with illustrations. I'm sorry that there isn't a similar page for PC or for those using AOL.


Member: Carole F.
Location: NJ
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 10:23 PM

Comments

Just my luck...1st time here and the pages will be gone??? I am an alcoholic and trying to return after many years of no meetings. I am so very lonely. I can't find any listings for meetings in my area...real/live meetings. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I also wonder if I'm able to bookmark this site here?? Thank you for listening and I'll come back tomorrow if that's alright.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 10:33 PM

Comments

Welcome Carole F, Yes of course the page can be bookmarked, just add to Bookmarks or Favorites depending on your browser.


Member: concerned for the
Location: newcomers
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 11:01 PM

Comments

Thats my gripe. Why can't the Newcomers page be a rollover page like the Coffee Pot? Is the BS that goes on there daily MORE important than the recovery thats seeked here? Why should a Newcomer have to search the Archives for what they seek and need when they post here, then its wiped out and they wonder if anyone even read thier cry for help. Thats like having a f2f meeting and then moving it somewhere new each week. Selfish and self centered. At least who ever does the archives, can't you post a link to click on that will bring up the entire previous week? Not the damned entire archives either. I know, for me, at a few days sober I would be lucky if I was able to find this damn site again, forget having to dig through the archives.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 21, 2002
Time: 11:20 PM

Comments

((Bobby A)) Thank you for your input. I just left the "coffee pot" where someone advised me figure out how much money I spent on liquor a week and find something else to do with it. I'm looking at a wonderful full body message - can't wait. LOVE TO YOU ALL AND CONGRATULATIONS FOR ANOTHER DAY SOBER. 6 DAYS! Patricia H.


Member: concerned for the
Location: newcomers
Date: September 22, 2002
Time: 12:49 AM

Comments

Countdown to dumping...