Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, Tx
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 09:30 AM
I'm an alcoholic named Curtis. After 25 years of attempting to control my drinking and becoming absolutely hopeless in "MY" methods of solving problems; I then, became slightly open to the remote possibility that there may be a better way than my way. This beginning started with an AA meeting on May 4, 1985 in Kingsville, Texas, and has continued to open up for over seventeen years. Step Two was my beginning, and Chapter 2 in the Big Book is aptly titled "There is a Solution". A quote at the end of Appendix II on Spirituality is a good description of how I was. Thank God for AA, and thank AA for God.
Member: Mark
Location: Canada
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 04:01 PM
This is Mark still a sober alcoholic. It looks like I will make it through another weekend. Played golf yesterday and was offered a beer. I managed to dring coke. Keep living one day at a time. I have to follow that advice.
Member: Patrick
Location: Canada
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 04:33 PM
HI, i'm pat and i'm a alcoholic, i have 3 weeks in a.a. I'm also new to the internet,finaly get hooked up this morning. have a safe 24 hours.
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 06:27 PM
The first thing that comes to mind is an axiom: if we take the Steps of AA and practice the principles learned therefrom in all our affairs we will learn and grow spiritually as time passes in sobriety. Without acknowledging this concept not much will change. If I could help myself and stay sober on my own I would not, of course, be a member of AA. The Fellowship of AA can provide the support and knowledge I need to find a power greater than myself, sufficient, to keep me sober. I must say that I've no idea how to "work" a step. I can dance a step, clumsily, and I can take a step. "Working the Steps" has become one of these nonsensical statements that are repeated in AA, ad infinitum. So, with all this in mind I will attempt to share my experience with being open minded. When I first came to AA open mindedness was a concept completely foreign to me. I knew best and if you disagreed with me, on any subject you were wrong. It was pointed out to me that I should first off shut up, sit down, and listen. Take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth. If I could open my mind just enough to allow the sober members of AA to show me a design for living that really works it was possible that I might actually take the Steps of AA -- Following the Directions in the Big Book of AA -- saving my life and becoming happy, joyous and free in the process. Well, I could not become open minded. It was therefore, suggested, since I was sitting down with my fat mouth shut, listening, that I pretend to have an open mind -- that I act as if I were open minded. To do this it was necessary to find a sponsor to help and take the Steps of AA. Because, they said, you cannot think your way into proper action, but you can act your way into proper thinking. So, I tried it, after all what did I have to loose what with my life being in the toilet and being nearly dead any way. What a surprise, it worked. I acted my way into right thinking, got sober and became happy, joyous, and free. I love my life, today. I think that today is the best day of my life and that I am, without doubt, the luckiest man in the world.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 07:01 PM
I went fishing today and was offered a beer at lunch. At first I said no. A short while later though, I decided to have one. It was hot today, so it went down quick. It sure tasted good. After that I decided to just drink water.Does having a beer like that mean a slip? I didn't get drunk! I didn't have the erdge to have another. Does this mean I have to give up fishing? Someone please advise me.
Member: Vickie H.
Location: WA
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 08:36 PM
Hi. I'm Vickie, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been a dry alcoholic for 5 days now, working on the 6th. I want to thank Les in San Diego for helping me to understand more on what I need to do to stay sober. I'm still trying to grasp the concept of "working the steps", but my mind has been opened to the possibility that God is here for me, and that means more to me every day. I was raised with God, but lost touch with him through the years to the point that I questioned his existence, and then carelessly tossed him aside. That didn't help to improve my life. I am now looking to God once again for his love and acceptance. I know he will see me through this, as will my new friends at the AA meetings, as long as I stay open to their help and ask for it when I need it. I accept that I cannot do this alone, and I open my mind and heart to any and all help received. Thank you, and Thank God.
Member: FORREST , P
Location: USA
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 08:51 PM
yes i think that would be called a slip. i fish too and i know that beer tastes good when im sitting by the water. but to keep everything goin the wright way i know i just cannt even have one .becuz will that trigger something like .well i handeld one last weekend maybe i can do it this weekend. and the weekend after that and after that .the next thing you know its been seven years.THEN WHAT
Member: FORREST , P
Location: USA
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 08:54 PM
yes i think that would be called a slip. i fish too and i know that beer tastes good when im sitting by the water. but to keep everything goin the wright way i know i just cannt even have one .becuz will that trigger something like .well i handeld one last weekend maybe i can do it this weekend. and the weekend after that and after that .the next thing you know its been seven years.THEN WHAT
Member: Beth H.
Location: Canada
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 09:20 PM
This is such a great topic for me this week. When I first started researching AA, SOS, Moderation Management, etc., I was looking at each program and evaluating it based on my current belief system. If it didn't fit (meaning: didn't allow me to drink and do whatever I wanted...), I figured it wouldn't work. I finally turned to AA with the attitude "well, if it worked for all these others, maybe it'll work for me". But I still always had this secret feeling that I didn't have to believe in a HP, I didn't have to think that the 12 Steps were necessary for health and continued sobriety. As long as I pretended, and acted like I believed, the program would work for me. I think I felt that the whole spiritual component was a way of making the reality of alcoholism a little easier to handle. Kind of like Heaven assuages our fear of death. And the service aspect of recovery seemed like a way to keep busy and keep your mind off the drink. Well, I've got 5 days sober today, the longest in over a year, I feel great, and I can feel a shift in my attitude this time. Instead of asking God for help, I'm opening up and allowing God to do what needs to be done. The other night I was SORELY tempted to drink. And I stood in front of that fridge full of beer and said, "Please God give me the strength to do this." That didn't help. Then I thought, "God, if I am meant to do this, I know I will find the strength." And I did. This encourages me so much. I'm still trying to take it one day at a time, but increasingly I'm looking forward to a future that I can enjoy (and remember :)). Coming to this site has been an incredible help. Have a great week everyone.
Member: jim
Location: minnesota
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 10:32 PM
Member: jim
Location: minnesota
Date: August 11, 2002
Time: 10:32 PM
Good topic ...
Member: chris d.
Location: us of a
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 01:15 AM
Member: Brenda G
Location: New England
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 05:14 AM
I always considered myself open minded. However, here I sit at dawn unable to sleep, consumed with guilt and knowing that I need to open my mind back up to allow a higher power in to help me. Four years sober and another one progressively deeper into drink. I'm so glad I found this site.
Member: Madelaine
Location: So. Texas
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 07:50 AM
I think open-mindedness is something we strive for but never quite attain. The pursuing of sobriety through whatever means requires a change in thinking, hopefully leading to an increase in open-mindedness. From what I see, the steps and tenents of AA are designed to lead in this direction. I believe we all carry prejudices, misinformation, and misconceptions around as our own individual baggage. I also think that sobriety won't cure this condition, but it sure helps. I am so grateful for this site and to all the people who post here. It has been a Godsend for me. 22 days--ODAAT! Thanks to you all.
Member: John R.
Location: Bama
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 08:48 AM
I consider myself very open-minded as far as recovery goes (today). My problem is staying open minded on a daily basis. Going to alot of meetings, talking to my sponsor, helping those new in recovery, personal inventories(applying step 10), and alot of praying help me stay focused on God, as I understand Him, which in turn helps me become more open-mined. When I first staggered into A.A. my mind was completely closed to just about everything except drinking and how to get more to drink. I've not had a drink for almost 8 years, but the problem of becomeing closed-minded still haunts me. Thank God for all of you. You folks in A.A.(and N.A.) help me stay focused. Thank you all.
Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 09:10 AM
To me, willingness is the same as being open minded. I am willing to accept the possibility that I am wrong. The whole concept of "willingness" was something I latched onto right away when I first got here. I didn't trust anything I was thinking and only half of what I was feeling, but I was willing to believe that this would change. That I could not only stop drinking but actually like it. I was so caught up in the downward spiral, drinking to relieve the hangover, getting drunk again, that I couldn't see the way out. I was so lost there is no way I could have found my way back. Not by myself anyway, and not back....forward. I can't go back to the days of being a drinker if I want the life I have today. Imagine the feeling of cresting a mountain at 7:00 a.m., admiring the view and then heading down and still being to work by 8:00 a.m. This was impossible when I was drinking, physically impossible. I love the life I have today thanks to this program and the people in it. ((Beth H)) I liked how you reframed the prayer for strength. Peace
Member: Billy A
Location: Milwaukee
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 10:01 AM
Hello all, my name is Billy and I am an alcoholic and an addict. Made it through another weekend and am now into day 12. I am striving to be as open minded as possible in the persuit of sobriety, god knows I sure don't have the answers. The carnage of my life proves that. If it can keep me sober today then I am all ears. This past weekend was interesting. I work in a bar and it is amazing to me how intollerant I am of drinkers when I am not drinking. Knowing what I am like when I drink I find it hard to imagine that I would allow myself to act the way I have for so long. It truley is a form of insanity. I am sober today and that is not going to change. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Stay strong everyone and remember that only YOU can get you drunk. God bless. Billy A
Member: Debbie
Location: South Dakota
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 12:41 PM
My name is Debbie, I'm an alcoholic. Open mindedness helps me stay sober in the fact that I realize that now that I am attempting sobriety, imagine all of the things that I have been missing out on while drunk. If I find something that interests me, anything, I read up on it and/or do it. For example, I've never gone to a play. In my partying years I thought how corny is that. Now though, imagine what I may learn from seeing a play as opposed to what I won't learn while sitting at the bar and or sitting anywhere having a drink. Just open your mind, think of things you may be interested in, go check out a book from the library and/or research it on line than do it and or just read/research it will expand your mind and hopefully help you escape from those evil thoughts of having just one more drink. Thanks for listening.
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 02:03 PM
Welcome to new comers, also the people just reading to find out if this A.A, program is for you and to the members of A.A. Great topic ... being open minded. For me being open minded starts with being open to a "Spiritual Healing Power" rather than only being open to a "Thing(alcohol or drugs) Power", and then looking at my "People, Places and Other Things Power" that me and my EGO(Edging God Out) thought could be used as a 'solution to my human powerlessness'. The shared Experience, Strength and Hope helps me to stay sober today and be open minded to a "Spiritual Healing Power". I haven't reached perfection yet and it's no longer my goal,Spiritual Healing is my goal. If I don't drink or drug today(use alcohol as my "HP" because it destroys, it does not heal) I can be open to a "Spiritual Healing Power" It's not always easy but it can be done one day at a time (one hour at a time if need be) Thanks one and all, as your sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope helps me to be open minded to a "Spiritual Healing Power"
Member: ronnie b.
Location: fla
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 09:31 PM
Being open minded to me, is knowing that with God in my life that all things are possible. If I continue to go to meetings and share my experience, strength and hope with the new comer and others, work the steps and reach out and help another alcoholic stay sober, then I believe I'm being open minded to any possibility that might come my way. Also for me, to have that open mind is to be willing to listen to others, and to understand that I can be wrong and they can be right. Keep coming back. God Bless Ya All
Member: Mark
Location: Canada
Date: August 12, 2002
Time: 11:40 PM
This is Mark again and still a sober alcoholic. This is about 17 days and going one day at a time. I hope all the fishermen and golfers stick to fishing, golfing and drinking coke. One day at a time.
Member: sonia
Location: uk
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 04:32 AM
Hello World there are a lot that are new to sobriety here that appear to have loads more sense than i ever did. Open mindedness, for me now means remembering i am not God, that I dont know everything, in fact i know as the truth very little. someone mentioned about not really beleiving they had faith, secretly. I think i have always been as honest as i can about my faith, about the fact that i beleive in something but i havent got a clue what. these doubts have been with me a long time, but i knew that at the very least i was open to the idea that something sprrtual existed. i am two years old today, and I can tell you that it is only this week that found out I do actually beleive, I now have faith in my faith. I knew from step two that i had faith in AA. Its a good place to start. sonia
Member: Madelaine
Location: So. Texas
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 05:26 AM
Both of my children are alcoholics, ages 25 and 28. Funny, I didn't drink when they were growing up. They both developed drinking problems before I did. Alcohol is causing havoc in their lives, and neither is willing to try AA. I wish they would try, right along with me. Willingness, open-mindedness. . . I know the desire must come from each individual. God bless each of you as you remain sober ODAAT.
Member: John H
Location: UK
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 06:54 AM
Hi i'm John and I might be an alcoholic. Been dry for 5 days now and sleeping better, have more energy too. But I'm having to cut out my social life to stay away from the booze - any tips? Been to 5 meetings in the Cheshire area of the UK and all helpful in their own way.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 09:08 AM
Ok, so I had one beer while fishing. What now, do I have to get another white chip? Should I give up fishing? Is it ok to smoke pot instead of drinking a beer while fishing? Will someone please give me some advise!!!
Member: Beth H.
Location: SWO
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 09:32 AM
((Madelaine)) I grew up in a household where alcohol meant a bottle of Kahlua getting dusty in the cupboard and a glass of wine for my mom and dad at Christmastime. My mom had lived with an alcoholic father and brother, and was determined that her children wouldn't suffer the same way. She was very strict with us when we were partying teenagers. And yet, myself and my younger sister both ended up as alcoholics anyway. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a house where his parents would wheel his crib into the living room when they had parties, because they didn't want him to feel left out. When he was 6, his grandmother would mix beer and lemonade for him to drink, and at 7, he was sipping the top off every bottle of beer his dad asked him to fetch. Today, he is a million dollar salesman who takes the bus to work because he was convicted of DUI in January and lost his license. He's been a heavy drinker since he was 14. His sister started at 13. I was 15. Sorry to be so long-winded, my point is: if you've got the gene, the disease will take hold. I've given myself all sorts of reasons why I started drinking, why it became a problem, etc. but the bottom line is I WOULD HAVE ENDED UP HERE NO MATTER WHAT. I'll pray for you and your children. I have a 4-year-old, and my greatest fear is that he will grow up to be an alcoholic. Right now, he's under my control, but when he's grown, I don't know if I can just let go. Love to you all.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 10:19 AM
I used to think I was open minded because I was a liberal thinker. The truth was that “though my motives were good” I was as prejudice and closed minded as the “right wing fundamentalists” that I feared so much. My twisted self-centered point of view allowed me to justify my drinking. The world seemed so screwed up, I needed to drink to deal with my own frustration and fear. I finally reached the point where alcohol offered no relief and only aggravated my feelings of hopelessness. I have not had a drink in some time. The cornerstone of my recovery is asking for help to turn my will over to God today. All who post here and the rest of the AA program help me to stay “right sized” and grateful.
Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 11:01 AM
Hi, all, my name is Joe and I’m an alcoholic. George S., generally speaking, drinking a beer would be considered a relapse or slip. What do you do now? I would recommend a lot of face-to-face meetings where you talk about it and getting a sponsor if you do not have one. Most in AA figure sobriety time as continuous abstinence from alcohol. I do not recommend substituting marijuana for alcohol. Do you have to give up fishing? NO. But you may need to give up fishing with people who drink, at least temporarily. I did not go fishing with my brother-in-law who drinks for about a year, because I did not want to be stuck in a boat with beer on board and no way out. (Jumping in and swimming in order to stay sober was too drastic an option, I just decided not to fish with drinkers at the time.) Being open-minded means to me that I consider the possibility that I am just as powerless over alcohol as I hear others in AA describe, that my life is just as unmanageable, and that there is some power out there that can work to keep me sober one day at a time just like that power does for others in AA. Thanks to all for sharing.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 01:59 PM
High! I'm George and I'm an alcoholic!!! Well I have a problem, I don't want to give up fishing. All of the folks I know drink. Maybe I will just have to fish alone. The radio will have to do for company. Oh well I spend most of my time alone anyway. Ever since getting involved with AA my life has been very lonely. How do ya'll deal with all the lonelyness of AA? I used to have friends, but they don't seem to be arround anymore.
Member: Billy A
Location: Milwaukee
Date: August 13, 2002
Time: 05:12 PM
Hello everyone, my name is Billy and I am an alcoholic and an addict. Day 13 and I am still sober or at least a "dry drunk". George S, I am very new to all this so take this for what it is worth. I think all of us find it hard to do the things we are used to doing with others while sober. It is hard and nobody said it wouldn't be. What I think we have to ask ourselves is whether we are better off now (sober and maybe lonely) than we were. Friends that stop coming around because you are sober don't sound like friends. Give yourself some time. From all I have read here,it seems to get a lot better. All these people can't be wrong. All I know is that I have tried life and everything in it with alcohol and I became sick, miserable, dishonest and lonely. I am sure that if we can just let our higher power do his/her/its thing the rewards that lie ahead for all of us will make this uncomfortable time seem trivial. Good luck to you and stay strong. Billy A.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 02:51 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. To George S, you don't identify yourself as an alcoholic, and thats okay. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. As far as whether or not your drinking one beer constitutes a slip, is none of my business, thats between you and your conscience. Rule of thumb I was taught, is that a real alcoholic doesn't pick up that first drink no matter what.Come hell or high water, good bad or indifferent, we just don't drink. Good luck on your fishing trips
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 03:42 AM
I'm Gage. I'm an alcoholic. My garden was overgrown with weeds and full of stones. The furrows were packed hard and flattened. Water ran off the soil instead of into it. The best seed in the world wouldn't have helped me because there wasn't any place to plant it. Before anything of any use to me could grow in my garden, I needed to weed it, clear it, tear the soil open and turn and loosen it, let air into it. I needed to re-cut the furrows and build them up. It seemed hopeless. So many stones -- resentment, envy, pride, prejudice. The weeds had been there so long the roots were set, the whole garden was matted with them. When I was drinking, occasionally I would chip at the garden a bit, but when I broke a sweat, I'd stop. Other times, when I was feeling particularly headstrong, I'd really go at it, but the stones were just too heavy and the roots just to deep. Then, I'd retreat even further from it, and it continued to deteriorate. Hopelessness. My garden was a mess, and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know what to do. I may be writing this on a laptop from my yacht in the Carribean, or from a computer in a public library. Or a prison library. In either case, if my garden is a wreck, I'm the one who knows it. Can I look at my garden and admit that it's a mess, and that I just don't have the stuff to fix it? Step one. Suppose I meet a guy and he shows me this lush, beautiful garden. Or maybe it's not lush and beautiful, but a damn sight in better shape than mine. Suppose he tells me how decrepit it once was and offers me a set of instructions for getting it ready to plant, but the instructions run contrary to everything I thought I knew about gardening. Maybe, then, I'll realize that what I think about gardening hasn't helped me much. Maybe I should just let this guy explain the instructions to me and try to follow them. Maybe I should not even think about what I want my garden to be, and just concentrate on those instructions and just see what happens.
Member: Madelaine
Location: So. Texas
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 07:57 AM
Thanks, Beth H. for your story. Your points are well taken. Alcoholism was handed down from my husband's family as well as my own. My brother was an alcoholic, my sister chemically dependant on several things--bo9th early-on in their lives. I was the only hold-out. I started drinking at age 49 and was an alcoholic within a year. Both my children starting drinking in their teens and continue to do so. My daughter is a functioning alcoholic but drinks every day and stays in a relationship with a fellow alcoholic/addict. My son is only semi-functioning and has a raging temper that gets worse the more he drinks. The stories I could tell you about all of us! The bottom line is that God will have to open their eyes to the fact that alcohol is their problem. I just hope they don't spend their lives as drunks before they wise-up. There's little I can do to help them...right now I'm trying to take care of myself and stay sober for the rest of my life ODAAT. Gage--your allegory was good and appropriate. Thanks. Thanks to all who post here. You are all in my prayers. I do think it will get easier as we go. God bless!
Member:
Location:
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 11:36 AM
Hi I'm Rex P. and still not sober. I have been drunk for about 35 years, still can't get the strength to quit. I could tell stories but I don't think this page has enough room.
Member: Brenda G
Location: NE
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 03:24 PM
Hi, I'm Brenda and I am an alcoholic. George S., although I am only 3 days into sobriety this time around, I have some hope for you. Hopefully, you are attending regular meetings in person in your geographical area. There you will meet so many new friends, most of whom you will be able to relate to and develop friendships of mutual support and encouragement. Loneliness is state that we put ourselves into. Being open minded, initiating conversation and trying new things allows our higher power to take that loneliness away. Please go to some meetings, share yourself as you have done here and find that the booze was a friend which you no longer need. I'll be praying for you.
Member: Ken S.
Location: Mifflintown, PA
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 03:32 PM
Hi my name is Ken S. and I AM AN ALCHOLIC. I was so afraid when I first came to AA over 10 years ago. I thought great my life is over I may as well die. Interestingly when I drank I felt my life was over and I may as well die. Well I learned a lot of things in AA such as fairweather friends, good time charlies etc. and these were my friends I gave up in the bars and penitentiaries. Not one came around after I was "on the wagon". Since then I learned that there is a host of things I enjoy doing and that I can be comfortable with me alone. That is a biggie. I made friends in AA meetings and learned by hanging with them about real friendship and about doing things for others that I would not have normally done. Give people rides to meetings, talk to the new guy buy him or her a big book. Get involved become part of life again it will give you an endless array of opportunities to challenge you. I was able to become a friend after I worked the 12 steps. I became a part of life then too. I tried the Marijuana maintainence program and after 4 days could not stand the guilt. I did not smoke oregano or snort baking soda so I do not drink non alchoholic beer. I also declined beer's and drinks every where I was offered and never had to quit the activity because of fear. The whole message of AA is FREEDOM.
Member: George S.
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 04:36 PM
Hi, I'm George S and I just don't see whats wrong with having a beer while fishing with a friend every once in a while. It's not like I'm out on the boat getting drunk!! I've never gotten drunk on just one or two beers. In fact I just might go out and have a few tonight, whats wrong with that?
Member: Sandi C
Location: South USA
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 05:33 PM
Hi I am Sandi and I am pretty certain I am a alcoholic. Every morning I wake up and say, "thats it, the end" no more wine. About 4 o'clock I get that feeling like it's time for a glass. I can drink most people under the the table and I think I feel fine. The next thing you know I am waking up to the morning and I don't remeber going to bed. It is very frightning. I hate the way I look, feel and am embarrassed of things I might have done or said the night before. My father was an alcoholic and I don't want to be the same way. He died very early in life. My husband drinks as well but he doesn't seem to have the problem I do. When I say we need to quit he says , well then do it if you are so unhappy. I don't really know where to turn. Why can't I just have a couple of drinks like other people and be fine? Why do I have to go to the extreme? I really need help, but I am too embarrassed and feel like I am a failure.
Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 05:43 PM
hi guys, kirsten here - alcoholic. {George S} Well, since you are struggling with the complete abstinence thing, maybe you should look into Moderation Management. I know for myself there is no time that I can drink and that nothing good ever comes of it, but that may not be your case. If MM doesn't work, do a find on 'alternatives to AA' and you might find something more helpful. Day 18 and counting, ODAAT.... k.
Member: Michaela M
Location: South England
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 06:09 PM
Good evening ((All)) I'm Michaela a grateful alcoholic and addict with 96 days sobriety. Being open minded is something that I have in the last 96 days learnt to become more and more. Firstly I had to be open minded about even contacting AA, then I had to be open minded about the whole religious aspect of AA which for me was quite difficult to begin with as I have an agnostic background. However, being open minded about such things has really helped me. I do now believe in a higher power, one of my own believing and not necessarily a Christian God. I have been open minded about the advise I've been given to listen and to share and to go to meetings and work the steps. Being open minded has really assisted me in so far working the AA program and becoming a better person on a daily basis. ((JOHN H: UK) - Well you must be 6 days sober by now, congratulations and well done on that! I know that in order to stay sober I have had to change my social life because my life was planned around pubs, clubs and seeing friends that I used to drink and use with on a regular basis. I have had to stay away from some friends but only the ones that turned out to be not real friends but just drinking and drugging buddies that aren't ready to quit their habbits. For me if I think being somewhere or being with some people puts me in a vulnerable position and I don't need to be in that place or with those people then I don't do it. ((George S)) Firstly do you consider yourself to be an alcoholic? If the answer is yes then a couple of beers just doesn't work, if the answer is no then go ahead have those couple of beers and enjoy them. What is a White Chip? Is it for so many days, months etc of sobriety? If so then I guess that is up to you. If you really want to give up drinking though and you feel vulnerable to alcohol when you are fishing perhaps you should just give it a rest until you feel a little safer in your sobriety. If you really want sobriety and you really want to do it the AA way it isn't always easy but it does work if you work it as the BB says and as we all say in meetings. Love to each and every one of you Mikki mikkimaynard@emailaccount.com
Member: JL
Location: The Beach
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 06:14 PM
Rex P. You can do it! My first time here at Early Sobriety. Thank you all for sharing. I came to the Staying Cyber site when I finally had the desire to stop drinking. I drank for 27 years. Most of the time quite a lot and the rest of the time excessively. I walked into an AA meeting after a bit of research and discussion with those I trusted. I had always thought I was open minded, and that would be given quite the test in this program. I trembled and shook when I took my chair. But soon I found the evidence that AA worked. All these people had been able to get sober by taking a few suggestions and following the instructions as detailed in The Steps. Not only that, they were staying sober for long amounts of time and seemed to be happy about it. For me the open mindedness needed for all the other concepts and the spiritual nature of the program grew as I became more and more in tune with a higher power. AA is where I learned to listen. The more I listened, the less closed off to the message I became. Now my world is growing instead of shrinking. Now my circle of friends is increasing instead of narrowing. My days are fuller than ever before and I have regained the love, the trust and the respect of my family. Simple, but not easy. It all started with being open minded to a new experience and cutting myself some slack. We came, we came to, we came to believe.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 07:39 PM
High again I'm still George S. I used to go to face to face meetings, when it was a condition of my employment. I didn't seem to have any thing in common with the folks at the meetings. Infact most of the people wouldn't have any thing to do with me. Just didn't fit in the click. Maybe I should join a fellowship, the Elks Club looks good. I'm just not sure about anything anymore. In rehap things were different we were a team, now were disbanded. I don't even know where everone went. I guess there out...out drugin' and drinkin'!!! I am on probation untill May 10,2002. I need to stay clean at least untill then,but its not always that easy!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member: Mark
Location: Canada
Date: August 14, 2002
Time: 08:07 PM
Dear George and all the other new members. This is Mark and I am still a sober alcoholic. It is going on 3 weeks which is a long time for me. All I know is that if you are truly an alcoholic even one beer ends up being too much because for me it usually ends up in a big drinking binge soon enough. George, if you are not an alcoholic, probably one beer may be ok. But, if you are like me, one is too many.
Member: Michaela M
Location: S. England
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 04:35 AM
Dear Tech, Is the problem with the paragraphs going to be resolved on this site? Not that it's a major problem just thought I would ask.
Member: Madelaine
Location: So. Texas
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 04:56 AM
Welcome to those new to this site. I'm only 25 days sober and I haven't been to any F2F meetings this time qaround, so I can't really advise newcomers. I've been through everything you all describe. I'm through the physical symptoms, but I have much emotional and psychological baggage to deal with. I would suggest getting on your knees, morning and night. Watch your nutrition. Drink juices (high in sugar)for awhile, and take supplements. Alcohol robs the body of valuable minerals, especially magnesium(contributes to the shaking). Go to meetings for support. Shop around until you find a place where you feel welcome and included. I intend to go back at 30 days sober, but I felt the need to make the first 30 days on my own this time around. This is for keeps for me. I've had enough. God bless. ODAAT!. . .Madelaine
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 06:09 AM
Willingness, honesty, and openmindedness are the essentials of this program. But they are indispensible These sentences are toward the end of appendix two. They are italicized. They tell all of the content of the big book, and most other AA approved literature. the rest of the print explains to us suffering alcoholics what these two sentences mean. To those lonely, why do you think they push phone numbers at meetings? Yep, we need to hear from you as badly as YOU need to make some calls! George, it seems that you are stll trying to convince yourself that you can drink. AA will be here when you are miserable enough to decide that you cannot. You will get to a point that you are willing, hopefully that is not after you are locked up, or covered up. You see, true alcoholics have but three choices. Sober up, locked up, or covered up. I chose sobered up. How about you? If you are already off probation, why abstain now? See previous post... Madelaine, you are flirting with staying drunk as well. If a true alcoholic can stay sober without AA, they why do they need it at all? You know that you are giving yourself an excuse to drink again. What I said to George is true for us all. There are three choices. Only one is attractive. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com
Member: John H
Location: UK
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 06:58 AM
Thanks for that Mikki. Now 7 days dry but more importantly not been tempted to go to my old drinking haunts - and none of my 'friends' has contacted me so I'm not missed! Meetings are great and I've bought the Big Book which has some sobering stuff in it.George - I fish too and play golf but they are both better without the booze!
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 08:23 AM
Frank here, alcoholic. Having acceptance of new ideas, including the idea that I am an alcoholic, has been difficult. I am beginning to accept the fact that my way of thinking got me here, and I need new (to me) ways of thinking to stay sober. My best thinking got me where I am today, by the Grace of God and the program of AA my life can change. Frank
Member: Dan
Location: Middle East
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 08:27 AM
I'm dan alcoholic. To Sandy C - I spent a lot of time feeling like a failure, still do sometimes in sobriety. People who ask for help/show up on this page or a meeting aren't failures because they haven't given up. AA is a lot of hard work because I constantly still look for shortcuts and the "easier, softer way". I haven't found one in 8 years though. I only make progress thru pain and turmoil in my life. The failures are still out ruining other peoples lives via their disease. Keep coming back.
Member: Brenda
Location: NE
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 08:41 AM
Hi, I'm Brenda and I'm an alcoholic just beginning my fourth day without alcohol this time around. Sandi C., I can relate to you so well. Only difference is that my choice was beer. I wish I could just have a couple like nonalcoholics or "social drinkers". However, I can't and I find myself also starting around 4:00 and drinking until bedtime. I am back because of my two wonderful and very impressionable children. I remember when I was growing up and my mom and dad drank all of the time to the extent of excluding other family or recreational activities. I don't want my children living with that loss and resentment. I guess that we have to remember that this is an illness which can be hereditary and that we have "no control over it"; we are "powerless". Then we have to open our minds to new alternatives. I wish you much luck. I am so pleased to have found this site as my schedule makes it virtually impossible to regularly attten f2f meetings and I truly need this regular dialogue, guidance and support.
Member: Beth H.
Location: GTA
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 09:32 AM
Reading George S.'s posts has really made me think about some of my early hesitations about quitting drinking completely. I thought of all the things I would miss - hanging out in my yard, barbecuing with friends and kids running all around; sitting on a sunny restaurant patio watching folks strolling by on a lovely summer day; Christmas dinner with candles and music and everyone laughing. Alcohol was an inherent part of all these activities, I thought. Now I think, once again, how crazy this disease has made me. How could my favourite experiences be improved by getting drunk? Aren't they that much better when I'm sober, guilt-free, remembering and enjoying every minute?? Hell yeah! George, you don't have to give up fishing! You do sound so lonely though. I have 2 days sober right now, and my hope for ((you)) is that you soon feel as good as I do right now. ((Sandi C.)) I know just how you feel. For so many years I thought the only way I could stop drinking would be if my husband stopped with me. Doing it by myself is the scariest thing I've ever done. Will it drive us apart? Will I find that our relationship has no basis without the common bond of alcoholism? And how can I stand to be around him if I'm clean and he's slushing around like Barney Gumbel?? Don't think of yourself as a failure. Posting those feelings on a web site for the world to read - you are super-brave! Keep going!
Member: MICK H,
Location:
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 10:25 AM
Wow, how wonderful it is to ask for help and to recieve so many suggestions. by the way I'm Mick and I'm a real alkie! George, you asked, and you have recieved. It sounds to me that you don't want to quit drinking, and your life is just fine as it is. After, all isn't probation just where you want to be? I know for me, i have always been just where i wanted to be. If i wanted to live in shit "mediforically speaking" i lived in shit. For me fear was and is my obsticle. Fear of the unknown, fear of acceptance, fear of work, fear, fear, fear. All by my own making. Today, I choose to be more open-minded and to face fear. I choose to work the steps, no, i choose to live the steps, facing fear beating it, and moving on to the next one. Believe me, there will be another one. How wonderful was that garden story. Fits me to a "T". Thank you. I know that being open-minded that fear doesn't have to rule my life. I have also learned, that once contemplated, and puting a thought into action, the fear diminishes. The sun shines birght, as does my life. We are not failures, we are the lucky ones. Just think of how many alcoholics are out there wishing that they had the days that turn into months, that turn into years of sobriety, all at a days accumulation. Its quite fasenating if one thinks about it. So George you decide, becuase no one here can do it for you. We are here for you, but we can't do it for you. That goes for me, and anyone else as well. I'd rather not single anyone out, but i can hear your desperation. Just let go and come on in, the water is fine. Let me be the first to extend my hand to you and say welcome, and keep coming back. If nothing else, I bet we'll screw up your drinking. I've said enough, except love and tolerance is our code.
Member: MICK H,
Location:
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 10:26 AM
Wow, how wonderful it is to ask for help and to recieve so many suggestions. by the way I'm Mick and I'm a real alkie! George, you asked, and you have recieved. It sounds to me that you don't want to quit drinking, and your life is just fine as it is. After, all isn't probation just where you want to be? I know for me, i have always been just where i wanted to be. If i wanted to live in shit "mediforically speaking" i lived in shit. For me fear was and is my obsticle. Fear of the unknown, fear of acceptance, fear of work, fear, fear, fear. All by my own making. Today, I choose to be more open-minded and to face fear. I choose to work the steps, no, i choose to live the steps, facing fear beating it, and moving on to the next one. Believe me, there will be another one. How wonderful was that garden story. Fits me to a "T". Thank you. I know that being open-minded that fear doesn't have to rule my life. I have also learned, that once contemplated, and puting a thought into action, the fear diminishes. The sun shines birght, as does my life. We are not failures, we are the lucky ones. Just think of how many alcoholics are out there wishing that they had the days that turn into months, that turn into years of sobriety, all at a days accumulation. Its quite fasenating if one thinks about it. So George you decide, becuase no one here can do it for you. We are here for you, but we can't do it for you. That goes for me, and anyone else as well. I'd rather not single anyone out, but i can hear your desperation. Just let go and come on in, the water is fine. Let me be the first to extend my hand to you and say welcome, and keep coming back. If nothing else, I bet we'll screw up your drinking. I've said enough, except love and tolerance is our code.
Member: Billy A
Location: Milwaukee
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 02:41 PM
Hi all, my name is Billy and I am and always will be an alcoholic and an addict. 15 days sober and clean. Feel great, but I can't seem to get to sleep at night. Thoughts just keep screaming through my mind and I am constantly thinking about how much life I have wasted. Feeling a great deal of anger that I have allowed myself to get so lost and out of control. My drinking and drugging turned me into everything that I hate in others. One beer sounds great to me too, at first. Then I think about the other 23 that I know will follow. Oh not this time, right? Thats the way it has been throughout my drinking career and it would be nothing short of insane for me to think that this time would be any different. 2 and 2 will always = 4, I can't change that. For me one beer will always = more beer which will always = a drunk which will always = drugging which will always = all the shit that comes with it (DUI's, jail, ect,ect). This I KNOW and I should not need to test the formula anymore. What I do need is to elliminate the fear, ignorance and arrogance that allows me to believe that I can go back out and use the same formula and get a different result. Stay strong everyone and keep it sober, at least for today. Billy A.
Member: dave J
Location: NC
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 02:56 PM
hello all, Did AA last year, had 4 months after years of drinking hard. Did AA in 99 had 3 months. Came back into the Marines after 9/11. Thought I could become "one of the boys" again after 4 months of abstinence. Folks, didn't take 2 weeks before my tolerance and destructive daily drinking reared back, stronger than ever. Now I realize I should not/ cannot attempt to live a so called "moderate drinking lifestyle". It has cumulative consequences which rob me of things I used to enjoy on a regular basis, like excercise, friends who don't drink, church, meeting nice females while not drunk...Almost cost me my position in my new unit this time...Am back in AA and 5 days sober. Moderated prior to quitting so the withdrawls are not as bad this time, but am excercising every nite and reading the Big Book and grapevine..etc. Need to find a good group here in my area to sustain myself. Breaking 20 years of hard drinking isn't easy, but I realize now it's a nescessity in order for my life to progress forward. This site is a valuable tool for reinforcement, keep using it. No substitute for ftf meetings however. Good luck to all and keep coming back.
Member: RobinM
Location: Idaho
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 05:24 PM
((Hi all)) Robin here, definitely an alcoholic. I want to thank all of you here, and, to the ones who have just weeks in sobriety, you have been my greatest inspiration. I have 19 days today. Longest time I have been able to put together in many years. I started out as a binge drinker but as this disease is progressive, I moved right on up to drinking every night. I could match a glass of whiskey to every beer my husband could drink, and that is alot!! He has been drinking for about 30 years and still doesn't think he has a problem. He tells me he will support me in my desire to not drink, but he really thinks if I would just switch to beer, it would be fine. This disease allows you to be so dishonest, especially to yourself! And open-mindedness goes hand-in-hand with that. My mind was closed to any thing other drinking each night. I thought I was in control as long as I didn't drink during working hours. I lied to myself about black outs even though I would have to ask my husband what we did the evening before because I couldn't remember anything after the first drink. Couldn't remember if I had cooked dinner or if I had driven or if I had spoken to my 11 year-old. But I was still in control, so I thought! July 27 was the last time I had a drink. In a drunken rage hubby and I got into a violent fight. In one flash of memory, I was only two inches away from reaching a hammer and I could see it connecting with his skull. By God's grace alone I was not able to reach that hammer! And I can never forget how close I came to losing everything because of being F***ked up! Hubby left me for about 3 days and I wasn't sure if he was ever coming back. When he did come back, he would spend each night trying to get sooo drunk. I think to prove to me that he was not about to change, even if I was, and that he truly couldn't let what had happened "go". With the DTs over with, I find that each day is better than the last. Even the bad things that happen in life are easier to deal with sober than they were from inside a bottle! I can enjoy my time with my son, and if hubby gets beligerent, I can walk away instead of engaging in a neverending battle. Sorry for the long post but I needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening and good luck to all of us! Robin Each time I did try to quit drinking, even for a few days, or "switching to beer", the results were always the same. Except each time back out the drinking for some reason escalated, and I would resign myself to just drinking myself to death.
Member: Michaela M
Location: South England
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 05:30 PM
(((John H))) - Congratulations on 7 days, well done. It really does get better and better. Just keep going to those meetings, listening, absorbing and sharing when ever you want to. If ever you want to e-mail me about anything my e-mail address is: mikkimaynard@emailaccount.com. ((George S)) - Keep reading and posting and eventually, when you are ready you will get it and start enjoying sobriety. You've just got to really want it. ((Everyone)) Enjoy keeping an open mind and taking it one day at a time. Love Mikki
Member: Sandi C.
Location: South USA
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 06:15 PM
Hi, Sandi C. Thanks for the comments. I think I really need to find the FtF meetings. I am afraid of finding one too close that someone might know me. I know that sounds rediculous, but I really would like to handle this without anyone knowing. Maybe I should read that Big Book everyone keeps talking about and maybe everyone should know? ((Brenda)) thanks for your comments. I worry too if my husband and I will have anything in common to talk about if I am able to accomplish sobriety? I know I have to do it for myself and my two darling children. I am glad to read others comments as I don't feel quite so alone in my struggles! I have felt for so long the guilt of my secret that I am no longer the person I use to be. Sorry to sound so depressing.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 06:32 PM
Dear Mich H, sorry about the typo, I ment to write that my propation is up on May 10,2003. Not May 10,2002. I still have 8 1/2 months left, I'm not to drink or use untill then, if caught I will be fired. Jobs are getting hard to come by nowadays. I gess I had better get with YOUR program!!! I've only had one beer since starting probation. I'am afraid to report it to the Employee Assistance Services Officier, she wants me dead!!! E.A.S. holds my probation and my job. E.A.S. and E.A.P. are the ax people at work. Has anyone else had experance with assistance people from hell?
Member: diane f
Location: Ohio
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 07:37 PM
hello, my name is diane f. this is my first meeting, and my first day of not drinking. i drove home from a bar last night and got totally lost for two hours. i had no idea where i was. i turned on a street to get my bearings, and a police car passed by. i got home and was just thankful that i made it, but i am do not want to take these risks. since my partner died, my drinking is becoming out of control...lots of dangerous situations. i am here because i want to stop drinking. Sandi C. i am also a wine drinker, or maybe i should say i am a bottle of wine. i can relate to your situation.
Member: Sharon B.
Location: US
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 08:31 PM
Hi, I'm Sharon and an alcoholic. Today is my third day of Sobriety and I'm grateful I have not taken a drink. I want to get back the gifts that the program has previously given me. I know relapse is often common (see Chapter 3 in the BB) and I pray I can make it a day at a time. Thanks for listening. I'll keep coming back.
Member: MICK H,
Location: DAYTONA BCH FL
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 09:24 PM
Hideeehooo folks, Mick here still an alkie, ya know MY program is my business, and it stays MY business until I put it out there to be someone else's business. I need to keep my side of the street clean, becuase that is the only thing I have control over, and one of the things that keep me sober. I am not the "director" BB pg 62. I am however human and far from sainthood as of this date (that's a joke) We have all been there at one time or another, someone asks for help, but listens to nothing we have to say, why ask??? I remind myself once again that love and tolerance are our code. Being open minded means almost any drunk, can find sobreity, hope, and happiness. I am so grateful that someone had that open mindedness when I walk thru the doors of AA, for without them I would surely be dead.
Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Date: August 15, 2002
Time: 10:07 PM
Hi I'm an alcoholic. I've accepted my life changing condition on July 25th at 3am when I had to have just one more drink -- again. I checked myself into detox for 2weeks and re-discovered "me", and realized that I was inches from self-destruction. Now, as I look back on the 25th, I realize that it was God who woke me up and made me realize what I was doing, and that I had to do something. I thank God for AA, where I can learn to listen.
Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 08:44 AM
hi everyone, kirsten here - alcoholic. Well, my therapist wants me to write out a "relapse prevention plan" Fair enough.... Aside from calling my sponsor and praying, I wasn't sure of any other tips. He wants me to monitor my risk level continuously (ie - wedding on Sat. night. risk level 90%) Do you have a good ways to avoid a slip. ( com'on we're a slippery bunch here... )how do you deal with it? 20 days ODAAT...k
Member: Sharon B.
Location: MICHIGAN
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 09:12 AM
Hi Kirsten, Sharon here--alcoholic who had a long recovery period in the program followed by an even longer relapse period. Thank GOD I got back into AA and talking about this cunning and baffling disease can be treated through our relationship with our higher power. I found a great book on relapse since I had to take a look at the multitude of reasons for relapsing. There is a book entitled "UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY PROBLEMS AND ADDICTION" BY rOGER d wEISS, md AND dENNIS c. dALEY, msw IT'S a small pamplet type book. There is another title called "PREVENTING RELAPSE" (order NO. 5416) both workbooks are put out by HAZELDEN. You can reach them for their educational materials @ 1-800-328-9000. I have been reading the BB A LOT and have come to believe in a higher power. Staying away from that first drink is essential. I hope to hear from you Kirsten. Sharon
Member: Janet C
Location: Colorado
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 11:00 AM
Hi, I'm Janet, and (this is the first time I've admitted this), I'm an alcoholic. If I make it through today, this will be my first day sober. I too drink (bottles) of wine in the evening. I too have fooled myself that because I've never blacked out or forgotten an evening, and because I rarely drink during the day, I don't have a problem. I am interested in discovering what a vivid life is like, one that is not experienced through an alcoholic haze.
Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 12:54 PM
So much good stuff here today, thanks to everyone for his or her shares. I went to AA meetings and continued to drink for months. The drinking was curbed some, but I still had bouts of very heavy drinking and unsafe behavior. I had to admit that Rational Recovery, Moderation, switching to non-alcoholic beer after the first 6-pack, etc. was not going to work. The problem was it did work sometimes. Then the "sometimes" it worked got fewer and fewer as my alcoholism progressed. Eventually I was sick all the time. I would feel good for the first hour of drinking and that was it. One hour a day of feeling good followed by 23 hours of hell. And I did not think my behavior was insane! Man was I sick. Today I sometimes feel like maybe it wasn't that bad, that a drink would work again. Then someone said the following in a meeting. "To all of you newcomers here. The illusion that you can ever drink again must be forever smashed." It needed to hear that. ((George S)) I have heard that if you want a friend you must first be a friend. There are lots of folks in AA you could befriend. The ball is in your court. ((Sandi C)) The reason you can't drink just one and others can is easy to answer, if you are an alcoholic and they are not. You might as well ask why you are smarter than they are or they are taller than yourself. It's not fair it just is. Thanks for giving a place to come when I can’t make a F2F. Peace
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 01:28 PM
I'm Chris --I'm an alcoholic/ addict---I have been going to the other stayingcyber meeting for quite sometime now, and decided that this one would be good for me. I feel I am startign all over. I had never read the Big Book very much in my 7 yrs.of sobriety, but now I am.., and to Sandi.. it really is great. It is the bare bones of sobriety and it is amazing how much it applies to this alcoholics life. Being open minded to this new way of life is so important for me... I had gotten into some really bad habits of thinking and acting over the last 4 yrs. and now I need to renew my sobriety. Being open minded to the leadings of my HP and to the Program of A.A. is what I need to do to become happy, joyous and free... and to have the promises of the program come true in my life. I have begun to take a few of these steps and I can already see the wonderful results. To Sandi, please don't feel like a failure.Many of us has bee where you have been and have been lucky enough to spend enough time around the program of A.A. to become new people and have many good feelings replace the ones you are feeling now. Please don't be afraid to go to those f2f meeetings. I know how scary it feels, but trust me, it will get better, and you will be so glad you took that step!! Have courage! Stick around until the miracle happens!!!
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 02:46 PM
Sandi C, When I first started going to meetings a year ago I was terrified of seeing someone I knew. One day I ran into a woman who I'd seen at the Saturday women's meeting at the local food market. She was way more flustered than I was! Since then I've seen old friends at meetings who I hadn't run into in years. I've seen women who I've met at meetings in the parking lot of the elementary school when I've been picking up my son and they've been picking up their kids. It's all OK. I know it might be hard to realize now but if you see someone you know at an AA meeting, they are there for the same reason you are and they will be glad to see you there. One other thing. I started going to meetings last August only because my brother took me to the first two. I would not have had the courage to go on my own, or maybe I wasn't miserable enough yet. I hated the meetings at first. It all sounded like a bunch of horseshit to me and I felt like I didn't know anyone and they didn't know me and I didn't WANT to know them either. So George S, believe me I can relate. But I kept going and I kept listening and I know I still have a long way to go in that department. (listening) Also my brother has been sober for about 2 1/2 years now and fishes all the time, that man is a MANIAC fisherman so it is possible to fish without the beer, in fact he says it's better and he used to swill down barrels of the stuff.
Member: Billy A
Location: Milwaukee
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 02:50 PM
Hi all, Billy here and I am an alcoholic and an addict. Really enjoying all the positive and inspirational shares today. (Rich P) Thank you for your share, it is exactly what I needed to hear today as I have found myself thinking of the possibilities of moderate drinking or that non alcoholic beer thing. The truth is, I have tried that all before and failed misserably at each attempt. Thank you for smashing the illusion that I can ever drink again for today. Stay strong everyone and keep it sober, at least for today. Billy A.(16)
Member: TedU
Location: Wheaton, MD
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 03:01 PM
Openmindedness to me means waiting until a person is completely done talking, before I chime in my opinion. Sometimes it means not saying anything at all. Openmindeness to me means not forming a snap judgement when presented with a different idea or way of thinking. Like the first drink will get me drunk or find a Power Greater than myself. Openmindeness didn't take me to my first f2f meeting. Desperation did. I had to hit bottom and had no other place to go. Openmindenss did help me follow suggestions from the old timers and my sponsor, whether I believed them or not. They used to tell me the AA riddle, If you want what we have, you have to do what we do to get what we got. If you are a real BB p21 alcoholic like me, then like I did you have to solve this riddle. Just put the plug in the jug, go to meetings and say your prayers.
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 04:30 PM
Hi everyone. Kim here, alcoholic. The topic of beign open minded and Kirsten's asking about Relapse prevention seem to go hand in hand, so I'll address what worked for me in the first months of my sobriety. First, I had to remain "Plugged in" to AA: meetings, meetings and meetings. I had daily contact with my sponsor and bounced things off him to make sure that my thinking was not "off the beam." I also had joined a group and became active in that group, so that my support network was growing. I tried to stay away from events that would be serving alcohol and if I absolutely had to go, I'd bring my own car so that I could stay for a short time and then beg off. H.A.L.T. was a biggy for me in the early months of recovery, so I made sure that I never allowed myself to get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Eating right, getting moderate excercise and a good night's sleep helps immensely with those feelings of being overwhelmed. The lonely and angry parts were helped with my being in daily contact, either by phone or in person at a meeting, with another sober alcoholic in the fellowship. Keeping candies in your pocket helps, because as an alcoholic becomes sober, their bodies crave sugar. Alcohol is loaded with sugar. Also, I kept a meeting list book, along with all the numbers I had gotten from people in the halls, in my pocket book. If I was "in trouble" with my thinking, support was just a phone call - or a meeting - away. Last, I remember that I never carried too much money around with me. Funny, but having lots of cash in my wallet triggered feelings of wanting to drink/drug. I just brought what I needed for the day - gas, coffee $, etc., - and left the rest in the bank. Hope these help, Kirsten. Just by you asking about some of the "tools" to stay sober ODATT in new sobriety, shows that you are being open minded. Good on you!!! :-) Enjoy! Kim D.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 05:27 PM
High Ya'all I'm George S. and still sober and been clean & sober for about 1 1/4 years. I havn't been to a meeting since last Oct. Except for the one beer I had last week, no alcohol in 15 months. It's really not that amizing any one can do it. I just wish I could be accepted by the folks at AA, the BB says all that is required is a desire to stop drinking. There seems to be more required than just that. Can any one tell me what the other requirments are? (I dought it) How does a person get accepted by your click!!
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 07:55 PM
Well George you might try going to AA meetings more often than every 10 months or so for starters. As for being accepted by the "click" here, you are accepted already.
Member: George S.
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 08:48 PM
Well, Miranda C.,I used to go to 3 to 5 a meetings week. Many of the menbers were old timers,half of the people were gay, and most of the folks had there own little groups in there own little worlds. They all smoked about 3 packs a day. It seemed as though all they did was hang out, drink coffee and smoke. I don't smoke!! No one ever wanted to do anything fun or worth while. I guss I shouldn't complain about them not wanting me at there meetings. Maybe that's why I stopped going. I tried other meetings in the area,but they were pritty much the same. It seems I'm better of going it alone. Most AA people that attend meetings will drive someone like me to drink!!!
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 09:26 PM
George it sounds like maybe you wanted the other people at the meetings you went to to be more like you - not an old-timer, not gay and not a smoker. Did you ever think that maybe you weren't accepting them instead of the other way around? I do sure agree that smoking in meetings could get hard to deal with real fast although I smoke myself. Vermont law doesn't allow smoking in public places though. Are there any non-smoking meetings in Charlotte? What fun and worthwhile things did you ask them to do that no one wanted to?
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 16, 2002
Time: 09:31 PM
I should have said public buildings - smoking is still allowed in public places that are outside
Member: Michelle
Location: Michigan
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 12:41 AM
While I was drunk I believed I was open-minded. I believed fate controlled my life. Now that I am sober I see that my "fate" was alcohol. I had no goals but to get drunk. I had a job to finance my bar money. I never looked past pay day and happy hour. Alcohol controlled me. I still do believe things will work out the way they are supposed to. That is why I got my 2nd dui in 6 1/2 years. I went to jail, lost my driver's license, business, home, vehicle, "independence," and "friends." I am glad it finally happened. I am glad I hit bottom and stayed there for quite a long time. I still drank after all of that! I have almost 10 months sober. I am working for the life I have always wanted. I have recently started my business again. I am happy, healthy, and finally stable. I have supportive, sober friends. I will continue to be open-minded to the wonderful possibilities sobriety has to offer.
Member: Beth H.
Location: Turtle Island
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 06:33 AM
Hi all! Starting at Day 1 again. Yes, I've had a few slips, and I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. I've been keeping a journal, and when I feel the urge to drink, I write frantically (and illegibly:]) in it. It's so hard, especially when I've had that little taste of sobriety. Life seems so much more exciting, like an adventure, when I'm not slushy and forgetful. It's also encouraging to see that when my son plays in the bath, it's a tomato juice machine rather than a wine machine he makes, so cute. I was planning to brave my first f2f meeting this Sunday, but my sis-in-law's birthday party has derailed me. So I'm going to call the hotline and go to a meeting today. Wish me luck!! George S., you darn stubborn thing! And yet you keep coming back here...
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 08:09 AM
Hi all, I'm Mark W., an alcoholic. Many interesting posts here. Both my parents were alcoholics, and drank themselves into liver failure, and death. I decided to atop the insanity in my life, and went to AA. I'm a little slow, though, as I was 43 before I awoke to sobriety. George S., ecceptance is two way, and you are not accepting of them. I feel that you won't agree with that, but look at your description as if someone else wrote it and see if you think that person accepted the others there. Good luck, I feel that you will get desparate enough to "go to any lengths". You obviously are not there....yet. I am not putting you down. It is just that I know that an alcoholic has but three end results. 1- Locked up. 2- Covered up. 3- Sobered up. It is my sincerest wish for you to choose the one that I did, but it is your choice, and I cannot change that, so I accept it. The serenity prayer is a valued tool for me today. I am grateful for all the tools that AA gave me to learn how to live life without the crutch of alcohol. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com
Member: SUE S.
Location: SO. CAL
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 11:39 AM
hi i'm sue- alcoholic addict- open mindedness didnt come easy at first, but with persistance it became easier. i thank god daily for the strength to hang on and enjoy the progression of my new happy peaceful life. each and every one of you have told a part of my life story...always nice to know your not alone. i have enjoyed almost 8 months of sobriety thanks to this program, my spiritual connection [ which was non-existant befor AA...and my sponsor whom has graced me with her experiance aquired through her sponsor and this program.... some days are still extreamly difficult...sometimes i feel like my program is slipping....sometimes the fear comes back with a vengence....at those times i'v learned to ASK FOR HELP and to keep asking till it passes. my new life is a blessing, i have found a peace i have never known......thank you
Member: diane f.
Location: ohio
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 12:13 PM
hello, diane, alcoholic...this is day three for me. three is a good universal number, and i have found that waking each day and asking god/love to keep me on the path, and thanking for the answer at slumber time is incredibly helpful. visiting this site, and others is also helpful. i understand the reluctance of some to embrase AA. it is a good thing, but not neccessarily the "only" thing to bring your deserved happiness to this life experience. keep in mind that AA works for an awful lot of people. it works because we work--even to understand things that we don't understand or like. it is part of the awakening. if AA is not "your thing" trust your higher power and find your own answers. a wonder website is http://www.barefootsworld.net/bftwrite.html for today i don't want to drink, and that is enough for now. i know that i must focus the here and now, and let the future unfold as it will. it truely is only fair to "tax" my god a day at a time. i certainly could overwhelm him...
Member: Betty W
Location: WV
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 02:45 PM
Hi, I'm Betty and I'm acoholci and addict. I just got our of rehab and i'm trying to get myself to local meetings. I live in the country and there's not alot of meetings, to be exact there's only 2 per week. I do have a day hospital I attend every day from 8:30am to 3:00pm. this helps but I know I need to go to meetings. I used precription drugs and acohol. I tried to commit suicide by taking alot of pills, it didn't work. My daughter found me and called 911. They took me to the hospital and they put me in a ddu to find out what was going on with me. I was there for 13 days, I sure learned alot and have lots of tools to help me in my recovery. I'm trying real hard to get away from everything and everyone that has a trigger for me. I even asked my husband to leave, he's still very active and if I want to stay clean I can't be with him, I have to take care of myself. Thank you very much, Betty W
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 03:56 PM
High all! Just thinking about the cure all, known as AA. There is only one cure all and its made of lead. I'am sure it will work well for me. I wish you all well and maybe we'll meet in the after life. Goodbye
Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 04:20 PM
That won't cure anything George. It's just selfish. Keep Coming Back
Member: Dan
Location: Middle East
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 04:38 PM
I'm dan alcoholic. Thanks for the reminder Diane to stay in the here and now. One Day at a Time - How I hate simple answers to difficult problems! To George S. - I also thought about the final solution when I tried quitting on my own. I was more miserable not drinking. As a last resort I gave AA a chance - after a few weeks I realized that AA had actually given me a chance and I am grateful. Many fine strangers here care enough about you to have shared their experience,strength and hope with you. There is hope George. Glad to be sober today.
Member: Mich H.
Location: DAYTONA BCH FL
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 04:46 PM
Hiya guys, Mich here, alcoholic, so sad, and grateful at the same time. I was were George is not too long ago. Goddamn it I needed to hear what he had to say today, to remember where I was. I sincerly hope that his disease doesn't kill him today, I pray for him and all others out there still suffering. I have read some really good posts here for him, he is the only one that can help himself, HE HAS TO WANT IT!!!! that was the way it was for me and everyone i know of. He was made welcome, for every suggestion, i saw an excuse. if he doesn't die maybe he will come back, I hope so. Thank you George, you have no idea how much you have helped this alcoholic today.
Member: Christine
Location: Southern CA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 12:10 AM
Hi all, Christine and I'm an alcoholic. George, I can totally relate to how you feel. I have 76 days sober and this is my second time around. It is much easier than when I started in March 2001, because I surrendered and followed the directions of the program. I feel the same as you do at meetings. I hate feeling left out and I didn't really care for these people. But when I decided to take a risk and approach people I made friends. When I saw other newcomers I introduced myself and asked if they wanted to go to a meeting sometime. Probably the quickest way to feel more comfortable is to get a sponsor and let them take you under their wing. Be open and honest and follow their direction. It really does work but not right away. The more I follow what is suggested the easier this program becomes. This time around I want it to work. After going out again I know I need to make major changes in my life. I'm working at making new friends and talk to a higher power. For me that is my grandfather who died March 11, 2002 and loved me more than I may ever. I know there's a heaven and he's definitely there and wants me to have a good life. My best friend and favorite thing to do was alcohol. Replacing it isn't easy but how can it when it was such a huge part of my life? But if its possible for millions of others in AA it can be for me too. Please try.